Dear FRONTLINE,
Nevada and Anthony,
Thank you for opening your home to us and show what Hospice services are really all about. I wish I had known more about the organization before my father's death- Hospice care came in his late stages and to me, indicated that we'd given up.
Had I been as educated, informed and prayerful as you are, I would have seen the group for the blessing they really were.
I'm so sorry for your loss, but even through videotape can see what a light your son was in your lives.
Thank you for sharing him with us.
Cameron Croft
Richmond, VA
Dear FRONTLINE,
However fleeting the serenity this documentary may have engendered, I will always take comfort in the examples of the men, women, and children in "The Undertaking". Prior to this documentary, public television was considered a source of political and environmental insights. It was never anticipated public television would provide such a significant insight into this sensitive topic, as well.
Wayne Blanchard
Sacramento, California
Dear FRONTLINE,
I just became a Funeral Director this year, and I am 40 years old. My husband didn't entirely understand my decision to pursue this profession as it was a large career change for me. I've never felt in explaining to him what it is I do that he's ever completely understood it. I recorded the program, went to watch it later, and he decided to watch it with me. We talked about it afterward, and he gets it now. Thank you for putting together such a tasteful and moving program about what we Funeral Directors do. I am extremely grateful.
West Bend, WI
Dear FRONTLINE,
My first reaction to watching this program was one of sharing the pain of the families portrayed. However, after more thought I have concluded that what I shared was the unconditional love created and extended, one human to another. If this is our only purpose in life, it is enough.
Nancy Ward
Portland, Oregon
Dear FRONTLINE,
I happened to turn on the television just as The Undertaking had begun and connected immediately with the program. I was with my grandmother when she passed away last year and, in ways described here by many viewers, this sensitive and informative documentary helped me to make peace with that experience.
But my connection deepened when I recognized the funeral home and neighborhood streets of my very own town! It's common now to go though life without knowing much about the people who live closest to you, but it was still shocking to learn so much about people in my own community from a film shown on national television. How sad and telling that I live less than a mile from the Verrino's and hadn't known about the life or loss of their son. I'm close enough to thank them personally for sharing their story -- with such grace and love -- and will be working up my courage to do that.
Maybe the distance we put between ourselves and the experience of death comes from the same source as the distance we put between ourselves and the people who are physically close to us every day but who we hardly know, if we know them at all.
Christine Egger
Milford, MI
Dear FRONTLINE,
Thank you for a moving and thought-provoking broadcast. The impact that a good and caring undertaker can have should not be underestimated.
I was extremely close to my godparents, who had no children of their own. My godmother died suddenly. The family member in charge of arrangements did not acknowledge our ties at all -- no mention in the eulogy, etc. Of course she was dealing with her own emotions as well, but in addition to the shock of losing someone so dear I also had to deal with feeling excluded.
The undertaker was a family friend who knew me and my godmother very well. As we gathered at the house for the funeral procession, she announced that she wanted me to ride in the car with her. I agreed but couldn't understand why she would need me. She didn't need me. Instead she recognized my need to be included. I will never forget Mrs. Gardner shepherding me to the front of the church so that I could be there for my godfather, close to the bier so I could say my goodbyes to my godmother. This happened ten years ago and I shall never forget it.
Ann B
Baltimore, MD
Dear FRONTLINE,
I have been involved in the end-of-life arena for many years. As a lawyer, I have litigated several "right-to-die" cases in Michigan. I am also on the board of the largest hospice in Michigan and I have known, and worked with, many members of the Lynch family for quite a few years.
Your program was remarkable in so many respects: the stories that were beautifully and profoundly told, the poetry and photography that were woven into the documentary, and the honest and unflinching manner in which death and dying were described, all combined to make the program extraordinarily important and unforgetable.
The services rendered by the Lynch family (and their colleagues)to all of us in Michigan cannot be measured in finite terms. Those individuals assist us in finding ways to deal with death and dying, and to accept those realities as part of our lives. What an amazing contribution and legacy.
Andrew Broder
Bingham Farms, Michigan
Dear FRONTLINE,
Thank you for a very reverant program on the path we take after living. I have terminal brain cancer and have discussed my death with my family. Such a program of dignaty and understanding makes me even more comfortable with my own impending death.
To talk about the end of life on this plane of existence and the next step we take alone in such simple yet understanding terms I hope helps others also. My choice is cremation or donating my body for research (since my cancer is very rare) for my belief is the soul moves on and the remaining body is only a shell. I too believe the funeral process is for the living, to help with their grief and pain at the passing of a loved one. Much appreciation to the familys that chose to share such an intimate moment of their lives that we may understand better.
Thank you
Linda Akin
Burns, Oregon
Dear FRONTLINE,
Watching the Verrino's story, I am totally inspired by their strength and conviction, and there incredible love for little Anthony. There story reminds me of just how grateful I am for every day with my son, Jimmy. Jimmy was born with multiple birth defects, and had his first surgery by day one of life. His first few years were extremely touch and go, with multiple surgeries and hospitalizations. On two occasions, Jimmy surprised the doctors by recovering when they felt that they would not be able to save him. Jimmy is now 10 years old, and it is hard to believe that his bubbly personality and infectious smile have taken the place of his lifeless stare and inability to do the most basic of daily functions. I am forever grateful to the Verrino's for reminding me of the gift that I have been given every day, and for giving me the strength to go forward if and when his body meets it's limit. God bless you both.
Jim Diamond
Pittsburgh, PA
Dear FRONTLINE,
I am the mother of three and one of them is an Anthony. I was so moved by the Verrinos' story and by little Anthony. While I would normally change the channel on such a depressing topic as undertaking, I was captivated by this really beautiful baby and the quiet dignity he showed at such a tender age. He clearly was (and still is) loved and cherished by his brave, young parents. My heart goes out to them for their loss, and I thank them for sharing their story and allowing us to honor Anthony's life too.
Liliana Coletti da Costa
Pleasantville, New York
Dear FRONTLINE,
I wish I could reach out and hug the Varrino's. We just went through the same thing. Our son Ian was born with the cord wrapped around his neck twice and lost oxygen. He almost died that first night but he pulled through. We thought we were going to have the baby that beat the odds! He did well for a couple of months and then WHAM, he was hit with terrible seizures, pnemonia, aspiration and even more. It was all due to his hypoxia. We brought him home with hospice and died in our arms two days later. It was and still is the hardest thing in the world to deal with.
Part of me is at peace because I know he is not suffering anymore but I miss him terribly. Ian was just over 6 months old. There were so many similarities. My husband and I carried his casket, we have a pinwheel at his grave, Ian's bed was on an angle and more. My heart went out to you and I thought about myself too. When my husband and I were picking out Ian's grave, we were amazed when we looked up into a perfectly clear sky and saw a vivid rainbow upside down in the sky. We know that was Ian and God smiling down upon us. We decided to bury him right where we were standing. That brought me more peace than I had in over 6 months. Ian brought me much joy mixed with a ton of worry. A new mother is supposed to worry about ear infections and colic -not, is my son ever going to walk or talk or use the bathroom on his own. Halloween was tough. We thought Ian would still be here. We had a lion outfit for him. Luckily, I tried the hat on him. He looked so adorable. I will always remember my little Simba. We called him that because he always roared at us. : ) With all this sadness, we have joy. We are expecting again. We're due in May. My heart goes out to all the families on this show. I also lost my dad 4 years ago. I envision Dad and Ian playing together. God Bless.
Erin Kelch
Clarkston, MI
Dear FRONTLINE,
Dear "Frontline" and the Lynch family,
I am a stonecarver in Michigan and was made aware of the program through work. This program is, I believe, the most important program I have watched all year.
Dealing with death everyday with my job has always weighed heavy on my heart. It forces me to think of loved ones past and my own mortality. Reading names and dates makes it difficult to put a human element with the work. Watching the program allowed me to feel the reverence, and true humanity the funeral home places with the grieving. I am very proud of the work I do, and my pride now spills further knowing I play a part in supporting such a fantastic funeral home and family.
Robb Weersing
Grand Rapids , MI
Dear FRONTLINE,
Thank you PBS's Frontline, and Lynch and Sons. I am a funeral director and a funeral home and cemetery owner. I could not ask for anyone or any entity to portray our profession with such dignity, reverence, and grace.
Mr. Thomas Lynch you are to be commended on your "Tract" prose.... How befitting a program of this nature to hear one of "us" speak of our own funeral. I have always been one of the folks you spoke of, go toss me in the ground and have a party, and let not the clergy even hum. Let them hum, and as you said have their last shot, have your friends and family have that last look at the cold open ground without the tent, chairs, blankets, and artificial grass. You have made me as a funeral professional look at these statements in a new and different light. Perhaps your thoughts will make me a better Undertaker, even at the age of 57.
From one Undertaker to another, Thank you Lynch and Sons, Mr. Thomas Lynch and family for the personal reality check.
Terry Brigman
Black Mountain, NC
FRONTLINE's editors respond:
The video of Thomas Lynch's reading of his essay is available on this Web site, in the section "To Be an Undertaker," where you may also read the text of the essay.
Dear FRONTLINE,
I was deeply moved by this program. The soundtrack was incredibly beautiful mixed with the coldness of the pictures of a Michigan winter. Thank you for this wonderful, yet saddening program. It is important to deal with our own issues about death, and not ignore the very reality of our own mortality. Thank you very much. And I always look forward to Frontline reports. Especially the personal stories like The Farmer's Wife, or Country Boys.
Kyle Anderson
Mission Viejo, CA
Dear FRONTLINE,
If the measure of great television is the amount of discussion it engenders, then "The Undertaking" is documentary greatness.
My husband and I paused the program half a dozen times to talk about death, our opinions of the funeral industry, the dignity of the Verrino family and more. After the show ended, we continued discussing it for an hour until we fell asleep. What a profound, unflinching look at death. Thank you for it.
Liz S.
Mount Wolf, PA
