A fire in a New York City subway station has left half a million straphangers wondering how they are going to get work and has Rob Pollock giving a tacky to New York City's "can't-do" public sector for suggesting it will take at least six months to repair. "Remember the Duke Ellington tune, 'Take the A Train?'" asks Pollock. "The A train was what you took if you wanted to go from lower Manhattan up to the Duke's home in Harlem. Now if you want to take the A train you're going to have to wait. And if you want to take the C train, which shares the same track, well, tough luck." While Mayor Mike Bloomberg may not be responsible for what happened, says Pollock, he failed to seize the opportunity after 9/11 to upgrade the city's infrastructure. "What's his priority instead?" saks Pollock. "A taxpayer-financed stadium for the New York Jets, which I'd say is pretty tacky as well."
Dorothy Rabinowitz gives Fox a tony for a witty comeback when Ted Turner compared the network's popularity to that of Adolf Hitler. "Adolph Hitler was more popular in Germany in the early thirties than people that were running against him," said Turner. "So just because you're bigger doesn't mean you're right." Says Rabinowitz, "I would not be willing to wade into the psychological marshland that is Ted Turner's mind on the matter of Hitler. But let me just say that the whole thing was worth it this week for the comment that explained all this by the Fox News official who said, 'Ted is understandably bitter. First he lost his network, then he lost his ratings, and now he's lost his mind.'"
An appeals court has ruled that New York teens can sue McDonald's for making them fat with misleading advertising about Big Macs and Chicken McNuggets. Torts are legitimate says Daniel Henninger, but frivolous lawsuits like these are not only tacky, they are ruining the legal system. "It's basically like a burglar going into a hotel and trying every door to see which ones open," says Henninger. "The problem is that the judges are part of the gang. They're the ones who allow these lawsuits. They're holding the door open and sweeping these people into the vault. I think that really these tort liability lawsuits are a clear and present danger to the United States, maybe as big as Saddam, maybe bigger."
Paul Gigot offers a tony this week to NEW YORK TIMES columnist William Safire, who gave up his Op-Ed column after 30 years of writing.
"We don't often praise a competitor, particularly a very good one," says Gigot. "But Safire was the kind of writer who was so good because he never forgot he was a reporter who had to dig up facts and he was always an independent voice. His readers are going to miss him."