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Tony and Tacky
April 22, 2005

Good taste or bad is revealed in everything we are, do, have. Emily Post

John Bolton Obi-Wan Bolton
The Senate Foreign Relations Committee vote on John Bolton's nomination to be U.S. ambassador to the United Nations was delayed when one Republican senator said he suffered a sudden attack of conscience. A wacky tacky to the Committee says Daniel Henninger. "The United Nations is embroiled in an Oil for Food scandal because of poor oversight," says Henninger. "Kofi Annan's friends have told him to either shape up or someone is going to ship him out. Have you heard about reforming the United Nations? No, instead, what we've heard is that John Bolton is incapable of using a finger bowl or wearing a tux or bowing and kissing ladies' hands. He's being sent up there to try to help reform a place that's being run like the Star Wars bar."

Tour de Texas Lance Armstrong
Champion cyclist Lance Armstrong has announced that he will retire after he tries for a record seventh win at the Tour de France. Tougher than winning the tour may be the retreat from the sportlight to care for his kids in Texas, says Bret Stephens. "We have a history of sports heroes retiring and then unretiring -- and one thinks immediately of Michael Jordan's career with the Washington Wizards. Lance Armstrong conquered cancer, he conquered the Pyrenees, and he conquered the Alps," says Stephens. "If Lance Armstrong can conquer the challenge of just being an ordinary guy, he'll get my enduring tony."

King County Kiev County, U.S.A.
Six months after the Washington state gubernatorial election, King County officials found 111 lost ballots. In a topsy-turvy race that was won by only 129 votes, this is big news, says John Fund, and leaves no doubt why locals have dubbed the county "Kiev" after the Ukrainian elections. "If King County had been running the Papal election in Rome, we'd be seeing smoke signals in different colors," says Fund. "We'd be discovering new ballots 10 times and we still wouldn't know who was Pope. King County and Washington state are demonstrating that our election systems are so sloppy that you don't even know where the incompetence ends and where the fraud can begin. We need to clean up, not only in Washington state but around the country."