5 Activities To Help Kids Make Choices

We make dozens of decisions every day. As adults, making choices is something we do so often that we hardly even notice it. But it’s a skill that takes time and practice to learn. Parents can help kids develop this skill by showing them how to think through the pros and cons of their choices.

Donkey Hodie helps Duck Duck make choices in the episode “Duck Duck Great Adventure.” When Duck Duck feels overwhelmed and not sure what to choose, Donkey Hodie reminds her to consider what’s good and bad for her about each choice. As part of her decision making process, Duck Duck says, “Time to look at my choices, Weigh each one I see, Think about what's good and bad, Choose the one that's right for me.”

Parents can support decision making skills in kids by teaching them to talk through their choices. Kids build independence and feel confident by making their own informed choices throughout the day when they have opportunities in low-pressure situations.

1. Play games that require critical thinking. Games like tic-tac-toe, checkers, and Connect 4 require planning and anticipating other players’ moves. When playing with your child, talk about your game strategy. For example, during tic-tac-toe, you could say something like, “Hmm. If I put one here, you can put your third over there. I’m going to go right here to block you instead.”

2. Use stories to talk about choices. Books are a great way to talk through different scenarios with your child. Try to pause when reading and ask your child what they think a character should do next and why. For example, with a story like “Jack and the Beanstalk” you could say “Should Jack trade the cow for the magic beans? What do you think?” Watching shows together is another opportunity to talk about the choices different characters make. For example, as you watch “Duck Duck’s Great Adventure” together, pause when Duck Duck has to make a decision. You could ask, “What do you think Duck Duck is going to choose? Why does she make that choice?”

3. Play pretend. Kids love to play make-believe and create their own worlds. Tap into the power of imagination by joining in on the fun and asking questions. If your child is pretending to be a chef and you’re the customer, you can say you’re having trouble choosing between two options. Ask them which one they suggest and why.

4. Offer choices throughout the day. Give your child opportunities to practice making decisions by giving them options. Let them choose a bedtime story or pick out their own (weather-appropriate) clothes. I like to offer my kids choices at mealtimes. I might say, “For fruit today, you can have grapes or an apple. Which would you like?”

5. Create together. When coloring together or making a craft, ask your child for their opinion on what colors you should use or where to hang their artwork. Asking your child for their opinion shows them you trust their ability to make choices. This can help them learn to trust themselves, too.

As parents, it can be hard to step back and let kids make their own choices. I know I’m often quick to step in when I see my child struggling to decide. But, according to Rebecca Weksner, a psychologist who works with children and families, giving your child opportunities to work through hard things helps them develop self-confidence.

“It is in that process of struggle followed by reward that a person begins to feel a sense of control over their world,” Weksner said.

Support your child by talking through options, just like Donkey Hodie does with Bob Dog in the “Best Ball Fest” episode. When Bob Dog struggles to choose his favorite ball, Donkey Hodie helps by encouraging Bob Dog to consider what he likes and dislikes about each ball. After talking it through, Bob Dog finds the one he likes the most.

Though it can be tough to watch kids make mistakes, this is how they learn. As long as your child is safe, letting them make a less ideal choice now and then can teach them how to make better choices in the future. Instead of grabbing your child’s sunglasses as you walk out the door, you could say, “It’s sunny outside, would you like to bring your sunglasses?” If they choose not to, they might realize they would rather have them and choose to bring them next time.

Making good choices is a skill that takes practice. Parents can support their kids’ decision-making skills by encouraging them to make choices throughout the day.