Creating a Supportive Classroom for Your Child With Autism

Autism and other neurodiverse diagnoses aren’t always well understood — and every child is different. As the parent of a neurodiverse child, I’ve learned how important it is to advocate for her at school. Working with teachers and school staff to support your child’s unique needs sets them up for success and ensures they’re on their way to having fun, too!

On the PBS KIDS show, “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood,” Teacher Harriet’s nephew, Max, visits the classroom. With her help, students learn about Max’s differences and how he likes to play.

Wondering how to connect with teachers like Teacher Harriet to support your child in the classroom? Try these tips for partnering with your child’s teacher to help create a supportive classroom.

Laura, a mom in my support group for parents of neurodivergent kids, said her child’s ADHD diagnosis came with a report with strategies on how to best support him.

Keeping track of medical and school items, like tests, grades, and papers, can be tricky. It helps to have a system to keep everything organized. I use a three-ring binder where I keep my child's Individualized Education Program (IEP), which is like a plan for what special help they need at school. Sharing your binder with your child's teacher is helpful.

Meeting at the beginning of the school year to share your child’s unique learning needs helps teaching staff create a classroom where everyone is included. But you may miss that window — and that’s OK. Connect with your child’s teacher whenever you have a concern that needs to be addressed.

In the “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood” episode, Teacher Harriet explains to the class that loud sounds make Max uncomfortable, and he needs more space and time before engaging with friends or answering questions. Max uses a weighted blanket to help calm down when he feels overwhelmed.

What does your child need to flourish at school?

If your child has an IEP, your meetings can include the special education teacher, specialists (like speech and occupational therapists), the school social worker or counselor, and the special education coordinator if your school has one. Review goals to make sure everyone is on the same page about supporting your child.

Emily, a mom of a child diagnosed with autism, encourages parents not to be afraid to ask questions, including ones about the teacher’s experience educating autistic children. (That’s important whether your child is in a classroom with other students who learn differently or in a general education setting.) Each child is as unique as the teacher supporting them. This is an opportunity to make sure you understand where the teacher might need more support or strategies to successfully meet your child’s needs, as well as help your child understand classroom expectations.

Consider asking questions like:

• Does the classroom have a behavior plan for students? How can that be modified to accommodate my child?

• How will my child’s sensory needs be addressed?

• Is the school safe for my child who runs away?

Asking questions like these will help you and your child’s teacher understand what's expected so your child can shine in school.

Your child’s IEP goals should be clear, measurable, and attainable. For example, Emily's child has a goal in his IEP that says he needs to learn about numbers using things he can see and touch. To master this, he must show he can do it three out of four times.

IEP goals can be written in confusing ways. Make sure you and your child’s teacher are on the same page as to what they mean and what steps your child needs to take in order to accomplish them.

The goal above is a perfect example: “When given multi-sensory tools and manipulatives, [Emily’s son] will correctly build and write numbers to 100, demonstrating place value in 3 out of 4 trials.”

Super technical, right? It’s okay to ask questions and ask your team to give clear examples to help you better understand each goal and plan for achieving them.

"You want to strike a balance of pushing your child so they grow, having realistic goals, and being very specific about what supports they need," Emily said.

Check in regularly with your child’s teacher and other support staff for updates about what’s going on at school, and keep them informed about changes at home. I talk to my child’s teacher weekly, but you may find more or less is needed based on your child’s needs and progress. For example, if your child has limited or no speech capabilities, more frequent check-ins may be helpful to understand how their day went at school.

“We’ve really tried to have open lines of communication with the whole care team,” Laura said. Our care team includes those at school (like teachers, our speech therapist and the school’s social worker), as well as our tutor, psychiatrist and other medical staff. Don’t forget to include your partner in the conversation! I can’t count the number of times we’ve forgotten to loop Dad in. When our update emails copy both school-based and team members outside the school setting, we’ve found everyone works together for the benefit of our child more efficiently.

It's important to remember that teachers also need support. Sometimes, they might come to you with a problem they're unsure how to handle. And that's okay. “You don’t have to have all the answers,” Laura said. There are lots of resources to support both families and educators that you can explore together.

Even though some parts of a diagnosis can be seen as strengths, there might be struggles, too. Emily’s family tries to focus on the good side of their child’s differences, like finding joy in things they might not have noticed before. But that doesn’t mean raising a child with a disability is easy.

"It has been really humbling, but also very rewarding. It has taught us a powerful lesson about celebrating your child for who they are,” Emily said. “The best thing that you can do is be very honest in an age-appropriate way with your child about their needs. When you’re not afraid of conversations about your child’s diagnosis, your child won’t be afraid, either! Being clear and kind empowers your child to advocate for themselves as they grow, Emily said.

At the end of the "Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood" episode, Max's friends learn to give him the space and time he needs. Teacher Harriet's support in the classroom helped Daniel and his classmates understand, "When a friend needs different things than you, there are some things you can do." By working closely with your child’s teacher and other school staff, your child can thrive at school, too!