Dear FRONTLINE,

When I attended seminary in the late 1960's, we received minimal training on how to conduct funerals. Moreover, the only books I can recall for the course syllabus were Mitford's, American Way of Death and some rather abbreviated pamphlet on funeral rites! Much was made back then about the lavishness of funerals and all the trappings, and we were urged to discourage viewings and to promote memorial services, with prompt cremations and burials. After ordination, I was ready to do battle with undertakers, but in the span of almost 40 years, I have only encountered wonderful, kind and honorable funeral home personnel like the Lynches. Last night's program conveyed accurately the kind of dedication one finds in this profession, a few bad apples notwithstanding. I agree with Mr. Lynch strongly that our culture is diminished by the downplaying of the dead body in the ceremonies. It is my pastoral practice to encourage our members to have the body taken into the church for the liturgy, regardless of burial or cremation. In every case of those who were dubious beforehand, I have been thanked for offering this advice once the faithful go through the experience. Thomas Lynch and his colleagues are "spot on" in their mission to help people honestly confront their losses.

The Rev. Raymond W. Turner
St. Louis, MO

Dear FRONTLINE,

Thank you for doing this documentary "The Undertaking".

Thomas Lynch is a very profound person and writer. I have read most of his work on death. Thank you, Thomas Lynch, for letting us see what really goes on behind the scenes. I also wish to thank the families involved for sharing this important and vulnerable time in their lives.

The program informs the public and somebody like myself, who is thinking about pursuing a career in this dignified profession, a view of the death process, from 1st call through burial, in a very tastefully honest way.

Again, Thank You, very much. It is really appreciated, that this subject, which is so hush, hush, is finally exposed.

Cheryl Cowan
Clinton Township, MI

Dear FRONTLINE,

I was moved beyond words last evening watching your excellent program "The Undertaking". The Lynch family was so warm and offered such comfort to those individuals who lost family members. Mr. and Mrs. Verrino spoke so openly about their adorable boy Anthony. I was inspired by the strength they showed to all of us during this very personal time as we watched them bury their son. After Anthony's death, Mrs. Verrino spoke about how many gifts they still have and mentioned their comfortable home and warm water for showers. We can all learn from Mrs.Verrino about the important things in life and death.

Nancy Ferris
Goshen, NY

Dear FRONTLINE,

Finally a television event that "Depicts the truth, to the general public about my calling". My entire family sat next to me in complete silence the entire hour, on occasion I noticed, silent tears rolling down their cheeks; after the show they all hugged and kissed me, as they told me how proud they are of me and what I do.I can truly say those few seconds made 30 years of dedication to my profession all worth while!

David J. DeRubeisCody-White Funeral Service

David J. DeRubeis
Milford, CT

Dear FRONTLINE,

I seldom sit down and watch late night television. Last night was an exception and I happened to come across the documentary "The Undertaking" while going through the channels. I tuned in right as the Verrinos were sharing the story of their beloved Anthony John and I knew that this was a program I was meant to watch.

Several years ago I had a beautiful baby boy,Grant Ryan,who was stillborn.Unfortunately, my husband and I never wanted to face the grief, so we tossed it aside, but it still lurks. I have come to realize that there is no escaping grief. The Verrinos have showed me, and hopefully many others, how to live with the devasting loss of a child. Thank you for your courage and sharing Anthony with all of us. I have some newfound strength. Your son has changed me.

Akron, Ohio

Dear FRONTLINE,

I am a NYS funeral director and I watched the program last night and again today online.

I often have friends and family even families I serve ask me why do you do this job,how can you do this job and this documentary was a perfect example and reminder to myself of why I do what I do. I can not tell you how many times people have compared my profession to other popular cable series such as Six Feet Under, or the reality show Family Plots.

Finally I can say there was a show that is true to what goes on in the funeral service profession. Thank you so much for this !

Jena Murphy
Staten Island, N.Y.

Dear FRONTLINE,

This was a surprisingly frank and tasteful look at an industry I hardly hold in high regard. It answered some natural questions that might seem morbid--but things people wonder about. For example, it was extremely touching to see the pallbearers of the cancer victim perform the tender rite of pushing the cremation casket those last few inches home into the retort: one final thing they could do in his memory. And seeing the ashes go into the urn was a relief. I doubt that I am the only one watching who was curious as to what cremated remains look like.

In general, I have found funeral home staff rather vacuous and facile. I want little to do with them. But I was very impressed by Mr. Lynch's depth and sagacity; he is obviously not just out to make a buck.

With the exception of cases in which people have died a horrible and disfiguring death (the memory of which would do the deceased a dishonor), I agree completely with Mr. Lynch's opinion that seeing the dead is important. My dad died when I was 31 months old; I never saw his body; I was not taken to the funeral. From my standpoint, he simply disappeared and never returned. My mother was shattered and she tried to shield me, but I wish that someone had shown me my dad's body in his casket and told me that he was not playing a game, and he was not asleep, that he was dead. It might have been traumatic but ultimately less so than as it happened.

Seeing others after death has been no experience to cherish, but it has been reassuring for me to be able to say "That is not them. That is where they lived, but now they are gone."

The Verrinos humbled me with the compassion for their little boy. His capacity for enjoying life might not have been equal to that of most people, but plainly he knew he was loved and he was as comfortable as his parents could help him to be. ...

The composition and editing of the film was almost perfect. Low-key, sere, not overdone--and in many cases, the images (such as the silent nursery where the baby had slept) spoke silent volumes.

Tom Horn
Austin, Texas

Dear FRONTLINE,

Anthony, Neveda thank you for sharing and letting us into a very personal and difficult time of your life. We hold our little boy just a bit tighter now. Your little angel has found peace. We hope you also find peace.

Bryan & Daniela Kulgawetz
Toronto, Ontario

Dear FRONTLINE,

I am a third-generation funeral director in rural Louisiana. My brothers and sisters are all also funeral directors. My mother and father, my uncle, my cousins, and my grandfather have all served as funeral directors. Thank you for this beautiful program showing the love and compassion that go into this profession.

The Lynch family serves their families with dignity and honor, and provide the most delicate care to those in the darkest times of their lives. Their firm is a credit to our vocation.

The most important message conveyed in this program is that funerals serve the living. Again and again, throughout the program, the families remark that the ceremonies they chose provided them with the much needed closure they required.

At our core, we are a society of rituals and customs. These rituals sustain us when we don't know where else to turn. Every family must choose for themselves how they honor the lives of those they love. A decent and honorable funeral director, like the ones highlighted in this program, asks the family what they require and then facilitates it for them, with mercy and grace. In our time of grief, funeral directors set us upon the road to recovery. They gently guide us towards a place of acceptance and peace.

GJ Charlet
Clinton, Louisiana

Dear FRONTLINE,

Thank you for the surprisingly beautiful story about the undertaking business. The grieving families were brave to share their personal experiences with death. I was particularly touched by the Verrinos' willingness to share their love and loss of baby Anthony with viewers. The Verrinos' ability to confront their unfathomable pain without bitterness, and without regret, was inspiring. The lessons of their son's life and death will be with me for a long time.

Philadelphia, PA

Dear FRONTLINE,

this show "The Undertaking" was very heart wrenching for me, The story about little Anthony stuck me deeper than any blade possibly could, I felt like i was going through the greiving process with the Verrinos during the show. I dont even know the Verrinos and their beautiful son Anthony has touched me in so many ways.

I am a father of a soon to be 4yr old son. My son doesn't have any kind of life threatening illness,thank the LORD. The courage and the strength i saw in the Verrinos was overwhelming for me, I really don't know how i would cope with a loss like that they are incredible people and i am so sorry for the loss of your precious son . Again my heart goes out to you and your family...Thank you for sharing your child's beautiful life. God Bless!

Clayton Sullivan
Orlando, Florida

Dear FRONTLINE,

My mother died May 12, 2007 after a long, cruel bout with Alzheimer's. My brother and I knew for several months her death was eminent because she wasn't eating enough, eventually not at all given her difficulty swallowing. So I thought I was prepared particularly with the wonderful staff at the facility specializing in Alzheimers patient care and the later hospice workers there to shepherd us. Sitting with her for the last 2 and a half days, I longed for her departure for her sake and ours, but this primal child feeling emerged the last 24 hours that screamed inside me, "Mom, don't leave me!" I did not say these words, but I am convinced she felt that pull so much so that she did not die until I left the room for just a few minutes.

Your program is beyond beautiful and I felt particularly connected in time, space, heart given that one of the dying persons featured left two days before my mother. Thank you.

Hollis Carolyn Heyn
St. Louis, Missouri

Dear FRONTLINE,

For one hundred and ten years,across three generations, my family have been undertakers. Your presentation has,finally, brought to the national consciousness the reality of this calling we follow.

Most remarkable is the courage and strength of the Verrino family for sharing an intimate look at their loss. Like Tom Lynch, I too have gone into my children's rooms after a gut wrenching experience with grieving parents. These episodes are clear reminders of our humanity and compassion without which our vocation is nothing but empty pretense.

I have never been more proud to call myself an undertaker.Thank you for this.

Michael Spaulding
Harrison Township, MI

Dear FRONTLINE,

Tom Lynch is a remarkable human being who has given us some wonderful literature as well as his generous, insightful and sensitive service to grieving people. Would that he had been present for us 44 years ago when our first-born died at 15 months, when there was no palliative care, no counseling and an experience that left us feeling as though we were being sent out of the garden. We now help to run a very active Palliative Care Society that relies on people like Mr. Lynch to shed light on the process of dying and grieving. Thank you for this difficult,beautiful program.

Jack and Peggy Ouellette
Arichat Cape Breton, Nova Scotia

Dear FRONTLINE,

Thank you for airing such a frank and open look at death, a reality most Americans would rather pretend does not exist. How often have we heard the words "morbid" or "ghoulish" used to describe someone who is experiencing grief and wants to talk about what has happened?

I appreciated Mr. Lynch's obvious compassion for both the living and the dead and his clarity of expression about his work.

Now that you have begun the conversation, would you continue it by exploring other issues about dying, such as alternatives to the traditional embalming, viewing, and burial; death rituals of other countries; or the influence of religious belief on death rituals?

Margret Benner
Baltimore, Maryland

FRONTLINE's editors respond:

Please see our readings and links page for more information on these topics.