Why in the hell should I put any effort into finding people who didn't want me? But I needed my medical history. Such a basic right, but it was denied to me. So I contacted the agency, went to the required counseling, and sent the agency on their quest to contact my birthmother.

As I waited, I went through every possible scenario in my head, trying to prepare for anything. I went through every scenario except one: my mother's denial of my existence.

Unless you have lived it, you cannot understand what hearing "She denied giving birth to you" does to your very soul. With one phone call from the agency I felt as if my right to be had been torn away. I had a good life with a beautiful child and found myself trying to slit my wrists. With years of therapy and recovery under my belt, I am learning how to put the puzzle of 'me' together. However, I will never have a complete picture. I will never have a complete me.

Anjea Weber is an adoptee.