By — Ali Rogin Ali Rogin By — Claire Mufson Claire Mufson By — Satvi Sunkara Satvi Sunkara Leave your feedback Share Copy URL https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/new-book-unfit-parent-provides-valuable-parenting-lessons-from-the-disabled-community Email Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Tumblr Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Transcript Audio Last year, parents in the United States reported being overwhelmed and burnt out. One group of parents is often overlooked: the 1 in 15 with disabilities. Author Jessica Slice shares how her experience being disabled prepared her for parenthood. Ali Rogin speaks with Slice about her new book for our series, “Disabilities Reframed.” Deaf Interpreter: Vanessa Arp of VALIDEAF. Read the Full Transcript Notice: Transcripts are machine and human generated and lightly edited for accuracy. They may contain errors. John Yang: Last year, the surgeon general warned that parents in the United States are overwhelmed and burned out. One group of parents is often overlooked. The 1 in 15 with disabilities. Jessica Slice became disabled years before becoming a mother. The experience, she says, prepared her for parenthood. Ali Rogin spoke with her about her new book, "Unfit Parent: A Disabled Mother Challenges an Inaccessible World." It's part of our series Disabilities Reframed. Ali Rogin: Jessica Slice, thank you so much for being here. You write in the very introduction of your book, disabled parents have something powerful and transformative to offer. Tell me about that.Jessica Slice, Author, "Unfit Parent": Yeah, I think that disabled parents have been rejected by the systems that govern parenting for everyone. And from that place of rejection, we formed our own way of parenting. And I think actually that way that we formed can be an off ramp for all parents from consumeristic parenting, from perfection driven parenting, from this sense that we should be able to willpower our kids into safety and ultimate happiness. Ali Rogin: You spent much of your adult life, your young adult life as a non-disabled person. And you write about that transition and what it was like for you in the book. But what wisdom and tools do you think you bring to parenting as a disabled parent, as somebody who became a parent while disabled that you wouldn't have been equipped to hold if you were not disabled? Jessica Slice: Yeah, so when I was in my 20s, I had this sense that happiness or perfection was just around the corner, that if I could just do things a little bit better, then I would really enjoy my life and disability pride that perfectionism from my hands. And since becoming disabled, I'm much better at just taking my days as they are. And I know that many days will be hard for many people and I'm able to accept that.And then I also think that being disabled taught me how to be bored. I'm very good at just sitting around all day. And I think under acknowledged requirement for being a parent to young kids is the ability tolerate boredom. Ali Rogin: That is, as the parent of a toddler myself, that is very true. On a serious note, there are studies, there are books that you talk about, countless testimonies, many of which you write about in the book. Disabled people facing staggering discrimination when trying to become pregnant, when having a baby. And then certainly it continues once they have a baby.Can you take us through the ways that the system is designed that often fails disabled parents in this way? Jessica Slice: Sure. I mean, you know, this could be its own book and I hope it is one day. But reproductive care is often inaccessible. There's many obstetricians who are unable to help physically disabled people. Many fertility clinics aren't able or unwilling to help disabled people get pregnant in the hospital. Child protective services is often called after giving birth. I mean, it kind of goes on and on. Ali Rogin: And what assumptions underlie that dynamic in the system? You talk a lot about this in your book. Jessica Slice: Yeah, I think really at the bottom of that is this sense that if you need care, if you have a needy body, if you can't be completely independent, then unable to care for others or unable to care for a baby. And I just think that's fundamentally untrue.And I think it really hurts all parents because I think it gives non-disabled people this false perception that they should be able to parent without help.And so non-disabled people crumble under this unsustainable pressure, and then disabled people are kept out of the whole thing. I think we all want so desperately for our kids to be okay and for our families to be okay, and we parent with this idea that we are invincible if we only work hard enough.And admitting that disabled people exist and that we make good parents is also admitting that none of this is promised and all bodies are fragile and all bodies have needs. Ali Rogin: You write about a discrepancy in the book that disabled people routinely report being happy at rates equal to or greater than non-disabled people. And yet most doctors who have been surveyed on this believe that disabled people have a quality of life that is less than a non-disabled person. Why is it so common for society to consider disability in this way? Jessica Slice: It's actually called the disabled paradox. It's a philosophical phenomenon that disabled people are just far happier than anyone think. I actually joke in the book that statistically, you're much more likely to be happy if you're disabled than if you're a doctor, which, you know is unfortunately true. And they have their own rates of moral injury.But I think what's underneath it goes back to this fear of fragility and fear of mortality that for many people, disability is a reminder that nothing is promised and very little is actually in our control. And we think, oh, we don't want to get anywhere close to fragility, because that is terrifying. But I think once we kind of look it in the face and live with it, then we actually can live very fulfilling lives. Ali Rogin: You write in the book about how the challenges that disabled people experience on a daily basis that really equip them with tools to be constantly creative and calm and able to adapt to change, really equips them well, especially in the earliest days of parenting when things just feel completely out of one's control. Tell me more about that. Jessica Slice: So I think there's two parts of this. One, we're afraid of disability. And in many ways, having a baby and caring for a baby is confronting disability. You know, if you labor and are recovering, you're nearly in a weak and unpredictable body, and a baby is very weak and unpredictable.And then on top of that, in my experience, being disabled and dealing with the daily and hourly problem solving of living in my very painful and unpredictable body primed me and prepared me to not be totally overwhelmed caring for both my babies when they were newborn and incredibly unpredictable and incredibly needy. Ali Rogin: Jessica Slice, author of "Unfit Parent: A Disabled Mother Challenges an Inaccessible World." Thank you so much for joining us. Jessica Slice: Thank you for having me. This was wonderful. Listen to this Segment Watch Watch the Full Episode PBS NewsHour from Apr 12, 2025 By — Ali Rogin Ali Rogin Ali Rogin is a correspondent for the PBS News Hour and PBS News Weekend, reporting on a number of topics including foreign affairs, health care and arts and culture. She received a Peabody Award in 2021 for her work on News Hour’s series on the COVID-19 pandemic’s effect worldwide. Rogin is also the recipient of two Edward R. Murrow Awards from the Radio Television Digital News Association and has been a part of several teams nominated for an Emmy, including for her work covering the fall of ISIS in 2020, the Las Vegas mass shooting in 2017, the inauguration of President Barack Obama in 2014, and the 2010 midterm elections. By — Claire Mufson Claire Mufson Claire Mufson is a journalist and general assignment producer at PBS News Weekend. She produces stories on a wide range of topics including breaking news, health care, culture, disability and the environment. Before joining PBS News, she worked in Paris for French public broadcasting channel France 24 and for The New York Times. By — Satvi Sunkara Satvi Sunkara Satvi Sunkara is an associate producer for PBS News Weekend.