Practice Friendship Skills by Building a Family Fort

In the “Friendship” episode of the “PBS KIDS Talk About” video series, parents talk with their children about what makes a good friend. Have you talked to your child about being a good friend? What can you talk about in your family fort to support your child in practicing good friendship skills?

Kids make friends at school, through extracurricular activities, and more — but they first learn about how to be caring and loyal friends at home! Connect with your child in a family fort and talk about ways you can be great friends to each other. Then, encourage your child to take those ideas and apply them to their friendships at school and in other activities. What will you talk about in your own family fort?

Ken and Carrie helped their kids Finn and Lexie and their nieces Edie and Leah build a fort out of blankets, pillows, and gymnastics mats. They used a table and mattress to create walls. Inside the fort, they added a container to act as an indoor table. Carrie noticed that when the kids were building the fort, they worked on “communication, helping one another, listening to each other’s ideas, and collaborating - which sometimes includes compromising.”

Under the blanket roof of the Friendship Cave Fort, the family talked about the qualities that make a good friend. This opened up a conversation about honesty and how siblings (and cousins!) may not always act as good friends to one another. Carrie said that “everyone talked about different ways they weren’t using their best friendship skills, such as excluding one another, deliberately ‘pushing one another’s buttons,’ and reacting instead of having a calmer, friendlier response.” This kind of conversation can help parents find ways to support their children in navigating the complexities of friendships.

Kristina and her son Jayce thought of different ways to make a family fort before building it. They decided to create a tent-style fort using a rope with a blanket draped over it. They also used pillows and bag clips! After grabbing snacks, they crawled in for some family fun. Kristina invited Jayce to ask her questions. When he asked how she keeps friendships happy, Kristina told him, “I spend time with my friends, I'm there when they need me, and I do my best to do things that remind them that they are important to me, like treating a friend to lunch or sending them a funny postcard.”

They also talked about the importance of being a good friend, especially to someone new. With Jayce starting at a new school in the fall, the conversation allowed Kristina an opportunity to talk with him about his feelings about meeting new friends and what he might be nervous or excited about. They came up with a list of ways he could keep in touch with his current friends, and how someday he could introduce his new friends to his current friends. This conversation allowed Kristina to find out what her son was worried about so she could support him in a positive way.

James and his daughter Niyah built their fort out of yoga mats, bed sheets, bean bag chairs, pillows, and books. Under a string of LED and ring lights, James connected with his daughter by talking about things in his childhood she can relate to. He shared stories about television shows he used to watch as well as pranks he used to play on his parents! By opening up about things James enjoyed doing as a child, he gave Niyah an opportunity to feel comfortable sharing stories on similar topics with her father. This kind of conversation helps children practice sharing stories with their friends — and then listening to their friends as they share.

Anita and Tushar helped their daughters build a fort with blanks, pillows, and a kitchen table! Beneath the blankets, they talked about how to make friends in new environments. They also discussed how important friendships are and what to do when friends are not treating each other well. This kind of conversation allows families to build trust with each other as a safe place to share what’s bothering them. It also gives children a chance to ask for help in overcoming problems with friendships outside the home.

We hope you had fun together! Snap a photo of you and your child building a fort and share it with us on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. We’d love to see how it turned out!

Like this activity? Try these activities to continue the fun!

• Simple Teamwork Games

• Make a Book About Friends

• 3 Ways to Practice Being a Good Sport