3 Ideas to Support Your Family's Anti-Racism Journey

When Kate's 5-year-old daughter came home from the park, she informed her dad, “I was playing with that Black girl." Kate didn't know if she was happy or horrified about her daughter's declaration. Raising compassionate children is essential, and modeling inclusive behaviors and practices are necessary to raise kind human beings. Most would agree that the intention of raising "good people" is indeed aspirational. But the recent civil unrest and racial injustice we've experienced collectively was a wake-up call. Raising "good" human beings is not enough. We need to raise anti-racists who will stand up to racism and inequities in their lives.

Anti-racism is the practice of working to eliminate the unfair treatment of people based on the color of their skin. Action, no matter how small, is the foundation of anti-racist work. To help dismantle racism, families can identify it, talk about it and push back against it. Like Kate's family, we may not know where to start. Yes, it can be hard at first, but deciding to start the journey is the first step. Each action you take will have an impact on the lives of your children and your community.

Let's talk about small things you can do today to begin your family's anti-racist journey.

Peekaboo is a universal game that children adore. Parents hide their faces and reappear over and over, teaching object permanence and social cues. The same thing happens again and again with the same outcomes. Similarly, if parents continue to do the same thing (or nothing at all) concerning racism, we will get the same results. When beginning anti-racist work, the first peek should be in the mirror. Your child's behavior is a reflection of your decisions and choices. If you say, "We don't see color," you are passing the fear of talking about the reality of racism to your child. Colorblind behavior keeps you from seeing the lived experiences of people who are different from you. To start thinking about anti-racism, you can:

• Reflect on your own experiences with race.
• Counter any negative stereotypes you've internalized about race.
• Have family meetings about the core values that are important in your home.
• Model the values you want your children to emulate.

“I Spy” is a game many parents play with their little ones. "I spy something round and red. What is it?" This game teaches how to use context clues and problem solve. Let's look at diversity and inclusion in the same way. If you were playing the "I Spy" diversity game with your children, would they be able to find a diversity of people, thoughts, and ideas in your home or community? If you were to play "I Spy" with the contacts in your phone, who would you see? How different are the people in your inner circle? Our responsibility is to teach our children to identify and value differences in race and culture. Here are some ideas to incorporate diversity and inclusion in your home:

• Invite diversity into your home through books, friends, toys, movies, podcasts, audiobooks, music, and art. There are even monthly social justice subscription boxes that bring diversity to your door.
• Conduct a survey of your home to see where you can start! Let’s start in your child’s room or playroom. Sit with your children and have them bring you 5-10 of their favorite dolls or action figures. Then have them bring 10 of their favorite books to you. Lay them out and reflect on what you see.
• Write a list of what you are doing well in diversifying your home and acknowledge where you need improvement. Take one of those areas that you need more support in and work on it. The more you normalize positive examples of diversity, the more your children will see the value in people who look different.

There are hours of fun to be had with the simplicity of bubbles blowing and popping. Imagine your children inside one of these bubble, protecting them from the world. Parents often say, "I want to protect her innocence" or "I want to keep him safe from bad things." Keeping them in the bubble protects them from learning how to deal with the real world (a privilege that all children do not have). It also keeps them from doing good deeds in the world. Pop the protective bubble and have important conversations with your children about things that are unfair or unjust in the world and how your family can be a part of the solution:

• Model what antiracist language sounds like. It could be speaking up when someone makes racist jokes.
• Share feelings of sadness or anger when things happen in the world to help your children regulate their own big emotions.
• Don't let the fear of getting it wrong stop you from taking action.

Anti-racism is not a checklist that you can say, "I'm done." It's an ongoing, daily practice of modeling and interacting with your children. It could be participating in rallies or it could look like a 30-minute drive to a Black pediatrician because you want to normalize Black excellence. We have many choices. Just choose to take action. In the famous words of Representative John Lewis, let's "get in good trouble, necessary trouble." And let's encourage our children to do the same!