- The difference between comedy and tragedy is if you walk into an open sewer and die, to me it could be comedy.
Didn't happen to me.
Why do I care?
Who gives a shit?
But tragedy is if I'll cut my finger, a paper cut.
I'll look at it for hours.
What I think I'm trying to illustrate is the innate, incredible selfishness, the love for ourselves and every human being.
We like other people, we do, but if we look in a mirror or we think about ourselves, it's a deep love.
I'm head over heels in love with myself.
I gotta tell you that.
Every night before I go to bed I try to kiss myself.
I'm gonna stop and do it for a minute. (smacks) The best. (smacks) Who could be better?
No one, you're so cute.
You're adorable, I love you.