Add up the numbers of your answers and check your score at end.
I'm aware of globalization's affect on me because:
1. I can't pronounce my car.
2. I bought a cell phone with an international plan.
3. My third grader can make bail for me in six languages.
A really good restaurant has:
1. An extensive imported wine list.
2. Entrees translated into English.
3. A chef who once worked in the States and can grill a halfway decent burger.
Its obvious my job is becoming more global because:
1. I can't understand a single word of what the maid is saying.
2. I can't understand a single word of what the bartender is saying.
3. I can't understand a single word of what the boss is saying.
In my experience, jet lag is:
1. An excuse relatives use to get me to wait on them hand and foot while visiting.
2. An occupational hazard.
3. A welcome diversion from the chronic insomnia.
In order to relax, I:
1. Pore through brochures featuring travel to exotic locations.
2. Watch camcorder footage from previous trips to exotic locations.
3. Make goo goo noises to my pets from public phones in hotel lobbies of exotic locations.
To deal with time zone differences, I:
1. Usually ask, "what time is it there?"
2. Feign ignorance.
3. Wear twenty four watches.
The best part of leaving the U.S. on business is:
1. Free drink privileges on international flights.
2. Frequent flyer upgrades to business class.
3. Not having to listen to George W. Bush explain his environmental policies.
The worst part of leaving the U.S. on business is:
1. The hangovers after abusing free drink privileges on international flights.
2. Last row, middle seat, coach on corporate coupons which means no frequent flyer mileage.
3. Having to explain George W. Bush's environmental policies.
1. Is great for making travel reservations as long as you can leave at midnight on a Tuesday
and return within 18 hours.
2. Is as convenient as swimming while wearing chain mail in a tar pit.
3. Means spam in alphabets I can't even recognize.
A person willing to do my job for 30¢ an hour:
1. Probably lives in Asia.
2. Probably lives in Mexico.
3. Probably lives next door.
SCORE 10 - 15.
You are aware of what day of the week tomorrow will be. You not only
arranged your child's birthday party, you knew all the names of the other
kids attending. Sometimes it seems the car can find its own way home from
the mall. You talk to a family member twice a day and can usually finish up
some chores while doing it. You've seen "The Lion King" 132 times. When
leaving on a business trip, the whole family troupes down to the gate to
see you off.
SCORE 16 - 20.
It always seems like Monday, except on Mondays when is seems like Saturday.
You belong to a Katie Couric withdrawal support group. The kids mimic your
ritual complaints about the quality of the local Thai restaurant's Spring
Rolls. The postman, pharmacist and your husband keep getting your first
name wrong. Your most valued possession is your collection of snow globes.
When leaving on a business trip you get dropped off with a kiss in the
SCORE 21 - 25.
Your wake up calls originate from Stockholm. Last week you got lost on the
way to the grocery store again. You can't remember if your favorite
television show airs on ABC, the BBC or the Spice Channel. Both friends and
family recognize your presents as the ones wrapped in plastic bags from
airport gift shops. You've seen the same episode of "King of Queens" on 3
different continents. When leaving on a business trip, your youngest yells
from the den, "Cab's here!"
SCORE 26 - 30.
The whole household runs on Greenwich Mean Time. A neighbor called the cops
the night you tried to clean out the garage. You constantly flush the
toilet to figure out which hemisphere you're in. Your favorite restaurant
is a little sushi bar at Tokyo's Narita airport. Every time you answer the
phone your mother emits a startled "oh". When leaving on a business trip,
the shuttle driver picks up an Egg McMuffin for the two of you to share.