- [Female Host] You've been dating for a while now and things seem to be going well.

You have the same hobbies, you both love dogs and kids, and neither of you listens to dubstep.

It might be time for someone to pop the big question.

- What's your credit score?

(record scratching) (upbeat music) - Nothing kills the mood like prying into your partner's financial history, so it's not surprising that many young couples will spend hundreds of hours planning their weddings, but almost none preparing their financial merger, and that's kind of a big deal.

- Nearly one in three couples say finances cause the most stress in their relationship, followed distantly by intimacy, children, and in-laws.

More than 1/3 of millennials in relationships fight about money at least once a week.

- [Male Host] Which is troubling, because couples who disagree about money once a week or more were over 30% more likely to get divorced than those who disagree a couple times a month.

- A lot of this martial strife can be avoided just by having a few honest conversations before tying the knot.

It can be hard to broach the subject, so, to make it easier for all those young lovers out there, here are five financial topics you should discuss with your future partner.

- Number one, what do you earn, what do you own, and what do you owe?

It can be difficult to reveal this information, but it's best to just rip the bandaid off.

After all, lack of money is not as bad as a lack of communication.

According to one study, four in 10 couples don't agree on what their partner's income was and 10% of them got the number wrong by 25,000 or more.

Good planning is impossible if each of you only has half the information.

And getting everything out on the table will only strengthen trust.

- Philip and I suggest having this talk in two parts.

Send each other an email with a simple breakdown of your finances.

Then, a few days later, come together in a nonjudgmental frame of mind to discuss the human story behind those numbers.

Number two, how was money dealt with in your household growing up?

As much as we don't like to admit it, we are heavily influenced by the environment we were raised in.

So learning about your partner's family traditions can offer a lot of insight and understanding into their financial habits.

Did they grow up on a tight budget?

Did one parent run the show or did they share responsibility?

Were they ever taught to balance a checkbook?

The second part of that conversation is figuring out what traditions you each grew up with that you don't want to replicate.

Maybe your partner's parents struggled with debt, so it's very important to them to not get into that same quagmire.

- Number three, what will be yours, mine, and ours?

It's becoming more common for couples to keep separate accounts, even after marriage.

Maybe they're afraid of losing independence, maybe they just haven't gotten around to it yet.

But they might be missing out on some benefits of a joint account, like easier organization and transparency.

- If you and your partner decide to keep separate accounts, make sure that you're not creating places where secrets can hide.

About 1/3 of spouses admit to committing financial infidelity, which means intentionally deceiving your partner about how you're spending or managing money.

Of those, 16% ended up in divorce expressly because of it.

- And remember, you don't need to have separate accounts to enjoy financial independence.

Julia and I have agreed on a set amount of personal splurge money per month.

It's also equal and we can do whatever we want, with zero discussion.

It gives us space to be ourselves without fear of lectures or petty squabbles.

- Number four, how much do you want to spend on kids?

While most couple will talk about whether or not they want kids, far fewer will discuss the massive financial impact, which can start before they're even born.

About 15% of couples struggle with infertility and the cost of a common fertility treatment in the U.S. ranges from about 12 to $15,000.

The average private adoption costs almost $40,000.

- Once you've got the kid, you have to decide about daycare, public school versus private, and, of course, college.

Right now, the average cost of sending a child to a four-year public university is around $100,000.

It's projected to be double that 18 years from now.

Of course, this is an ongoing conversation that you'll be having for many years, but it's important to weigh the financial impact of these choices as early as possible.

- Number five, what are your financial goals in order of priority?

Sharing your financial goals with each other can actually be kind of fun.

But, in our experience, taking on too many goals at once can make it less likely you'll achieve any of them.

If one of you is focused on buying a house and the other on starting a business, neither of you may get very far.

- But if you join forces and agree on what to tackle first, both of you will get where you wanna be faster.

A 2015 study asked couples for their best piece of financial advice for newlyweds.

The top two suggestions were to save as early as possible for retirement and to make all financial decisions together.

- Not all of these conversations will result in firm agreements.

But, when they do, make sure to write them down in a sort of financial constitution, and then sign it.

- Now, it might sound unromantic, but it's all too easy for two people to remember the same conversation differently.

And you can always jointly decide to amend your constitution; it's not set in stone.

- Of course, if you're already married, you may have skipped over a few of these questions.

But take heart, it's never too late to bring them up and turn a fresh page.

- [Couple] And that's our two cents.

(cheery music)