Dover Air Force Base chaplain reflects on the ‘forever’ sacrifice of America’s longest war

Judy Woodruff:

Last Sunday, President Biden flew to Dover Air Force Base in Delaware to witness the return, or, as it's formally titled, the repatriation of American service members killed in Afghanistan.

And, as it has for the past 20 years, the air base hosted what the military calls dignified transfers. They are solemn, quiet rituals led by Dover's chaplains, one of whom has witnessed the human cost of the war, from its very first day in 2001 all the way to last weekend.

Nick Schifrin spoke to him before the U.S. troop withdrawal about sacrifice and families' grief.

Nick Schifrin:

In the last 20 years, more than 7,000 American men and women have died in Afghanistan, Iraq, and fighting the global war on terror. Nearly all of them are flown home through Dover Air Force Base.

Throughout, there's been one chaplain at Dover, Minister David Sparks.

David Sparks, welcome to the "NewsHour."

Chaplain David Sparks, Dover Air Force Base:

Thank you for inviting me.

Nick Schifrin:

Thank you for being here.

How do you measure the sacrifice of the last 20 years?

Chaplain David Sparks:

It's a sacrifice that goes on forever for the families who have lost their loved one, whether that's their son or daughter or parent.

I have said to thousands of family members, we thank you for and honor the sacrifice of your son or daughter, but we also honor your sacrifice, which goes on forever. Mostly at the point at which I am conveying that to them, they don't say anything. They listen intently.

And, by and large, they're somewhere between tears and sobbing.

Nick Schifrin:

Do you try and comfort them?

Chaplain David Sparks:

Depending on what that means, of course, of course. But it's not usually very verbal.

At the moment of the dignified transfer, when they have just seen their loved one come across the tarmac covered by a flag, there aren't many words that are comforting. Mostly, it is the care that is being given by this chaplain and by others, so many others that are involved in that.

And they see that and feel that. There is a team that carries their loved one off of the plane and to our transfer vehicle. And after they are complete with that transfer, they stand at attention, and they will not move until the family has left the flight line.

And many, many times, the family turns around in our vehicle to look out the back, to see those people still standing at attention — now, this is going to make me emotional — standing at attention over there, and holding that. And they will often comment on that.

Nick Schifrin:

You have had to deal with this so many times. You have had to be the only one speaking often at these dignified transfers so many times.

What do you say about these people who have had to come home after the ultimate sacrifice?

Chaplain David Sparks:

I try to say something significant in the prayer to challenge the folks who are there in that dignified transfer to live up to the core values of the of the service, to live up to their own core values, to live — to live a life that is honoring of those who have given their lives, in order that we can do what we do.

And then I almost always pray for peace.

Nick Schifrin:

Why has it been important for you to say something different every time?

Chaplain David Sparks:

Because every military member and their families, for me, are — do the honor of not just a rote — I mean, I can pray a rote prayer. I can memorize one that I pray every time.

And I know there are some chaplains who do that. And that's fine. But it's important to me that I give that personal touch to everyone, though, I would confess that, after 3,000, 4,000, there are only so many words that can be used.

Nick Schifrin:

Do you think, over the years, that you have said the right things?

Chaplain David Sparks:

I am aware — this is very spiritual — I am aware that there are — there have been multiple times when I did not have the preparation for a particular moment when words came up out of me that were not my own.

Does that make any sense?

Nick Schifrin:

Of course.

Chaplain David Sparks:

That were not my own. And I said them. And once in a while, it was — for the first time — I heard it the first time when it came around in my own ear. And where in the world did that come from? And those are very holy moments for me.

Nick Schifrin:

Yes.

Let's talk about you for a few minutes. You were first at Dover in 1980.

Chaplain David Sparks:

Oh, yes.

Nick Schifrin:

You left. You left for a little while.

Chaplain David Sparks:

I was a kid.

Nick Schifrin:

You left for a little while, and you came back before 9/11. And what happened on 9/11 at Dover for you?

Chaplain David Sparks:

I was a reservist, and I had been called to Dover multiple times, and I had regular duty.

The first dignified transfers after 9/11 were the remains that were coming from the Pentagon. And I do not remember words, but I remember that the helicopters were coming from the Pentagon, three and four at a time, every day or multiple times every day.

It was pretty well overwhelming. And at that time, they sent the chaplain up onto the helicopter on the ramp at the back, and there was nobody else up there. That was just me. Sound is a great trigger, so I never hear it — I never hear a helicopter come over that I don't flash back to those helicopters that came in three, four, or five at a time, yes.

Nick Schifrin:

And that was 20 years ago.

You have since retired from active reservist. You were back at this job that we have been talking about as a civilian, and you have been at it since. Why? Why have you stayed this long?

Chaplain David Sparks:

This turned out to be the right thing at the right time at the right place for me, for my personality, for the training that I had received in many other ways.

The fulfillment of doing what I have done at Dover has been the — has been very real for me. The families are embedded in my heart. I like to ask, how did you meet? And they get to talk about their loved one. What was it about him or her that drew you to her the first time? And smiles in the midst of their loss.

And they tell these wonderful stories. And for those of us who are in the grief and loss field all the time, we recognize that the number one need for a family is to remember their loved one, even though that causes tears and they suffer with that.

But the number one need, after accepting that, in fact, there's been a death, is to be able to remember well their loved one and tell those stories. It's a part of — part of the — important part of the grief process that is going to go on. As I said earlier, it's going to go on forever.

Nick Schifrin:

Chaplain David Sparks, it's a real pleasure. Thank you so much for being here.

Chaplain David Sparks:

Thank you. Thank you. Loved being here.

Judy Woodruff:

When the remains of the 13 American service members killed at the Kabul Airport were repatriated last Sunday, Chaplain David Sparks was there for perhaps the last dignified transfer of the United States' war in Afghanistan.