Being Confident on Stage: Preparing Your Kids for a Performance

Performing in front of an audience is a great opportunity for children to share what they’ve been learning. But for some, it can feel scary. Maybe they’re afraid of making a mistake or nervous about many people watching them. Instead of letting their fears take over, you can encourage your child to try their best, build their confidence, and see what they can accomplish.

In the “Alma’s Showstopper” episode of “Alma’s Way,” Alma and her friends are inspired to participate in an upcoming open mic night. Alma asks her friend Lucas — who has an amazing voice — to join them. As they prepare for the big event, he becomes nervous about singing in front of an audience.

Alma stops and thinks about strategies to help Lucas get over his nerves and knows just who to turn to for advice — her mom! Mrs. Rivera assures Lucas that getting nervous is okay — lots of performers do! When she gets “mariposas” or butterflies in her stomach, she picks one person she trusts who is always there for her to look for in the audience. Lucas decides to look for his dad, and once he finds him, he performs the song alongside his friends with ease and confidence.

Here are some ways to support your child before a performance and help them build confidence and overcome stage fright:

Start small. Instead of expecting them to try out for the leading role or a solo, start with where they feel comfortable. That may even mean participating off-stage by helping with set design, costumes, or assisting the director. “This can be a progression, and we have to really meet kids where they are,” said Jacqueline Russell, artistic director and co-founder of Chicago Children’s Theatre. “That first time, maybe they do something smaller, but it’s just a step to doing something larger.”

Focus on the fun. In the episode, Lucas has been singing ever since he was a baby. Before there was talk about a performance, he sang because he enjoyed it. If your child is feeling performance anxiety, remind them what they love about what they’re doing.

Attend a local show. “Take your child to a performance to see what it’s like on the other side,” said Lauren Youngman, a teaching artist and dance instructor. Start with a free concert at the park or a local high school performance. “Talk about what it means to be an audience member as opposed to being a performer and the importance of both of those aspects.”

Role-play at home. Practice by acting it out at home! Make paper tickets and pretend to be in the audience on the couch or floor while your child performs. Then switch places! You can perform while they act as an audience member. “The more your student practices, the less nervous they will be,” said Youngman. She has her students take turns presenting to each other to also illustrate that “the performers are giving a gift to the audience.”

Trust the director. Having too much instruction from too many people can add stress. As long as your child is in a safe and nurturing environment, focus on being supportive and encouraging while preparing.

Have healthy habits on the big day. On the day of the performance, make sure your child gets plenty of sleep, eats healthy food, drinks lots of water (plus lots of bathroom breaks!), and practices breathing exercises. Get out the wiggles by having them move their body right before the show, which will also help them calm their nerves and get warmed up.

Channel the nerves into excitement “We talk about making that nervousness be your friend because it gives you a lot of energy on stage. Performers learn to use that energy,” said Russell. Acknowledge your child’s feelings and explain that nervous anticipation is also a form of excitement. “If they really are having too much anxiety about performing, it’s probably time to step back and re-evaluate.”

Focus on the big picture. Children build confidence through performing and learning how to work together with others onstage. Just like when your child tries a new sport, they’re doing so much more than learning how to score a goal or throw a ball. They learn how to rely on each other for support, keep going even after making mistakes, and be a part of something bigger than themselves. Russell adds, “Remind them: we’re all there with you, you’re not alone. Everybody else in this show is with you.”

Finally, be sure to celebrate your child and their courage while performing on stage, both during and after the show! In “Alma’s Way,” Lucas’ dad was one of his biggest cheerleaders and was so proud to see his son singing. Showing your child how excited you are by giving support, encouragement, and two thumbs up can go a long way.