Honoring the Real Meaning of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

This month, we celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr. — a great figure of American and Black history. Back in the 1950s and 1960s, Martin Luther King, Jr. led the peaceful fight for Black Americans to live with equal rights in the United States through marches, nonviolent protests, and powerful speeches.

Dr. King’s leadership helped secure equal voting rights and end racial segregation across America. He was a hero for us all — big and small. But the story of Dr. King might feel complicated to discuss with our children. His story involves the tough realities of racism and violence in America. It can be tempting for grown-ups to tell our kids the easiest, and happiest version of history, but we lose some of the most important pieces that way. How can your family honor this hero and his life without glossing over the hard stuff?

Consider your own beliefs and feelings about Dr. King's legacy. As a Black woman and mom, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day feels heavy to me as I sit with the painful injustice the Black community has faced for so long. Maybe you feel deeply grateful for the work of Dr. King. Maybe you realize you need to do more research on Black history in the US. No matter what, acknowledging your own thoughts and emotions will help you have more authentic conversation with your kids when the time comes. You’ll be able to embrace the opportunity to share your own feelings, and provide a safe space for your children to share theirs.

To acknowledge the full story of Dr. King is to acknowledge racism, violence, and the inequalities faced by Black Americans throughout our nation’s history.

It can feel overwhelming, but it’s possible to tackle hard topics without causing our children excess worry or pain. Chances are, our kids are already seeing, hearing about, or experiencing complicated truths in their big worlds, and they need us to help them navigate it. So don’t shy away from the hard stuff — just be sure the conversations you’re having are developmentally appropriate for your children.

For younger children, you might talk about how people don’t always treat other people kindly, and Martin Luther King, Jr. knew it wasn’t right that people with light skin didn’t treat people with dark skin with kindness. For older children, consider recognizing Dr. King as an example for how to peacefully work for a better community, and talk about the ways Black people and other marginalized groups still experience inequality in your own community today.

For all ages, you can explore the ways your favorite fictional PBS KIDS characters practice courage, and connect this to the real-life courage Dr. King and the people around him showed when they marched for what they knew was right. When we recognize Dr. King as a fellow human, the kind of bravery he practiced becomes achievable for our little humans, as well.

Other conversation ideas to have with your children:

• Talk about the ways Dr. King worked to make our country a place where everyone is respected.
• Wonder together about how Dr. King might have felt when people were unkind to him because of the color of his skin.
• Discuss what might have helped Dr. King do brave things even when it was hard.

Our kids can come up with some creative and difficult questions for us, and there’s only so many we can be prepared for. “Why didn’t all white people want Black people to be safe and happy, too?” “Why didn’t someone keep Martin Luther King, Jr. safe?” “I would’ve been too afraid to march with Dr. King — is that bad?”

As adults, it can feel scary to be confronted with questions we don’t know how to answer. That’s okay. If you don’t have an answer, say so. And ask your child if they would like to work on finding the answer together by reading a book, researching online, or asking someone who knows more about the topic. It may also help to consider your children’s questions as a jumping-off point for conversation. Tell them your honest opinion, and then ask them to tell you theirs. Growth can happen for everyone when we wrestle with beliefs and ideas together.

Consider Martin Luther King, Jr. Day just one stop on your journey to expand your Black history education as a family. After all, no matter your cultural or racial background, Black history is your history. In my family, we have started seeking out books written by and about Black Americans with our daughter. Your family might watch Xavier Riddle together and learn about fellow inspirational figures from Black history like Rosa Parks, George Washington Carver, and Thurgood Marshall!

Martin Luther King, Jr. and the Black leaders who’ve walked in his footsteps have made our country a better place for all of us to live. So let’s honor him this year and in the years to come by embracing his legacy more fully, and by empowering our kids to create change in their own world.