- I'm really not afraid of death.

- And I had to stop drinking.

So that was, that was huge.

I probably wouldn't be here talking to you today, Roberto.

- I am most proud of being who I am, Melvin Juanico, as a Native American, who is here to serve my people.

- I don't know when it's gonna be the end of my timeframe.

- Is of a life that could be to a hundred, is that most of us need to keep earning a paycheck.

(upbeat music) - Welcome to getting dot OLDER, the new TV series, where Americans over 50, share intimate, personal revelations about aging.

I'm your host, Roberto Mighty.

This series interviews people live and online and asks everyone the same questions, like number one, getting older means?

Number 23, I'm most ashamed of?

You can answer the these questions on our online survey.

So join us.

Stay tuned on TV.

And I'm looking forward to hearing your story, online.

(pensive music) (rhythmic music) In this episode, we're going to meet Sheila, the administrator, on how intimacy has changed over the years, Melvin, the Native American museum specialist, on working in a uranium mine, Karmen, the singer, on her post-retirement mission statement, Jesseca, the artist, on red flashing lights, and our guest expert, Anne Doyle, on how older people are getting re-educated for new careers.

Also, we're gonna test your boomer IQ and we're gonna check out some viewer responses to our online survey.

So stay tuned.

(rhythmic music) (upbeat music) My next guest works with a unique cultural center, museum, and community near Albuquerque, New Mexico.

He is also a tribal elder and spiritual leader.

- Okay well, first of all, I always like to introduce myself in our native tongue by saying a greeting.

(speaking in foreign language) That means, hello everyone.

(Melvin speaking in foreign language) So I mention my Indian name, which refers to actually, when a rain falls, and the little water has settled in the little ponds.

And I belong to the Yellow Corn Clan.

Okay, so here at Acoma Pueblo, also known as Sky City, is considered to be the oldest continuously inhabited community in North America, dating back to 1150 AD.

We are a Native American tribe located here in the state of New Mexico.

And the reason why we also call it Sky City is because the old village sits on top of a sandstone mesa, 370 feet above ground level.

And so the Sky City Cultural Center and Haak'u Museum serves as the receptive center to all our visitors that come to visit our historical site here at Acoma.

So we offer an admission package to all our visitor.

So that's a description of our location and our site, yes.

- That's great.

Thank you so much.

And, man, thank you so much.

- Yes.

- For introducing yourself in your native language.

That was beautiful.

I like to ask people about the work they did when they were young.

Melvin's answer was unique.

- When I got out of high school, when I graduated from high school in 1981, I began working in my first job, believe or not, I was working in uranium mines.

- Wow.

And uranium mines.

- Wow.

- I was there for like, I worked in uranium mines for nines years.

Out of those nine years, I worked about four and a half years underground, 3,200 feet from ground level.

Hard labor work.

I did a lot of physical, hard labor work.

And then even when that ended, my other jobs that I had were a lot of physical labor work, not to mention the personal work that I did at home, outdoors.

- Right.

So I'm sure that other people have asked you this very delicate question.

Do you feel that you were protected against the, well did you feel there was a danger from radiation or other kinds of dangers working in a uranium mine?

And if so, did you feel that there was enough protection for the mine workers?

In other words, I'm asking you, are you concerned about your own health going forward?

- Yes.

And I have been tested for such.

Working at the mines, they, you know, did do periodic tests and detections to where you wouldn't be allowed to be where the radiation was gonna be high to work in this area for a long period of time.

So they would rotate us mining workers around so we're not really getting that much radiation or if any, in our system.

But I know that to this point, I wasn't affected by radiation based on tests that were done on me but more so just the fact, as far as my health, really just all boils from throughout the many years of just hard labor work that I did.

And again, you know, with hereditary, I guess if you will, disease or sicknesses, you know, that come about, my concern for the future is will I end up getting Parkinson's because my grandmother had it, my mom has it.

So what are the chances of me getting Parkinson's, as well, which is not a good thing.

- Melvin's a real family man.

So I asked him about his biggest health concern.

His answer was not a complete surprise.

- For me, it's like, I care about my health as I get older because of my family, because of my children and my grandchildren.

I want to see my grandchildren grow up to be adults, as well.

So I think for me, the only way that's gonna really happen is to actually take care of myself, take care of my health.

- Right.

That's great, excellent.

Toward the end of our interview, Melvin surprised me with an invitation.

- Yes, I invite you to come out and help us celebrate our feast day on September 2nd which is every year, in honor of our patron saint, Saint Stephen, yes.

- All right, well, thank you so much, Melvin, and fingers crossed, we'll be able to make it in 2022.

How's that?

- Let's hope so, yes, (upbeat music) - Sheila was one of America's first African-American flight attendants.

She's also a wife, mother, and grandmother.

- My name is Sheila Elaine Nutt.

I'm 65 years old.

And I'm the director of educational outreach programs at the Harvard Medical School, Office for Diversity, Inclusion and Community Partnership.

- Sheila told me about some unexpected statements when she met her husband's family.

- I'm married to an Ethiopian man and we raised our children in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

When I first arrived, people asked if I had children and I said, yes, I've got three daughters.

And they said, oh, don't worry, Dr. Sheila, you will have a son one day.

We will pray for you.

So they prayed and they prayed.

And seven years later, when I started menopause, they realized that I was not the Dr. Sheila that they knew as the young woman who came to Ethiopia capable of giving birth.

That's when they realized that I was in fact, an older woman, and that I would not be giving birth to this son.

And they would put me in a different category, that of an old woman who had no male to protect her as she got older.

- I asked Sheila survey question number 20.

My medical issues are?

- Oh, my medical issues are, I guess, it was in 2007, when I was walking up the steps of my office and I fainted.

I couldn't speak.

My left side, I was paralyzed.

We went to the hospital, they tested me.

And we found out that I had a TIA, a mini stroke.

That was very scary.

I'm concerned because my mother's family, heart condition runs in their family.

Her brother died in his mother's arms, her mother's arms, at the age of 25 of heart condition.

My mother's sister died in a classroom.

She fell over and had a heart attack in front of, I think it was, first grade kids.

My mother's mother died of a heart attack.

So I'm afraid of a heart attack but I've been told that, you know, I'm healthy.

So I'm trying to eat right.

I'm very fortunate that have access to good healthcare.

- I asked Sheila survey question number 13.

Religion is?

- I believe religion in its dogma has been used to manipulate communities throughout history, in particular women.

I have practiced and studied numerous religious beliefs and I've come up with my own.

I am a very spiritual person, but I don't think I believe in any one particular religion.

(upbeat music) My advice is to spend time developing a working relationship and deeper understanding of your relationship with your creator.

My advice, further, is to really try to get in sync with the flow of divine life energy.

The system wants to make you believe that happiness is something you can buy.

It's something that you can possess.

But it's not.

It's right here within us.

We already have it.

And my advice to everyone is to learn how to let it out.

- I asked Sheila if she had add anything to add about the religion question.

- Maybe because of my religion or my spiritual beliefs, I'm really not afraid of death and, my daughter has been here looking through family memorabilia for the last couple of weeks.

And so I've commented to her that I would like to help her put something together and help me look through things and prepare for when I'm not here.

She thought I was a little morbid, but I'm kind of excited about organizing things so that when I'm not here, people know something about me that I want them to know.

(upbeat music) What's the question?

- [Roberto] I felt old for the first time when?

- I felt old for the first time, when a young man said, Miss, would you like to have my seat, when I was riding on the subway.

- [Roberto] How did it make you feel?

- It made me feel, on one level, hmm, uncomfortable.

On another level, I was tired.

And I said, yes, I want the seat!

(Roberto laughing) - Survey questions 24 and 25 are about intimacy.

Sex used to be?

And sex now is?

Sex used to be?

- What?

- Sex.

(Sheila laughing) Sex used to be a sport.

- [Roberto] Sex now is?

- Woo hoo.

(laughing) - [Roberto] Got ya.

- Sporty.

- Sex now is?

- Is sporty.

Before, it was a sport.

- You have to say it.

- Sex now is sporty.

There's more compassion.

My husband and I connect.

My daughters bring these books into the house.

You know, how to have orgasms, how to do this, how to make him do that, da da da da da, you know, certain gymnastics.

But I'd like to really let these young people know that it's not about the gymnastics.

It's really about making a connection with the person that you're with.

And if you have that connection, if you love, if you touch spiritually, (scoffs), hmm, the orgasms.

Need I say more?

- [Roberto] That was the best ever answer.

(Roberto and Sheila laughs) That that was the best answer ever.

What about you?

Has intimacy changed as you've gotten older?

If so, how?

(upbeat music) (rhythmic music) ♪ Ah, can't you see that look in my eye ♪ ♪ We're running out of time ♪ ♪ Can you hear that I'm talking to you ♪ ♪ There's something going on ♪ - I don't know when it's gonna be the end of my timeframe in this world.

So I try to do the best I can.

(pensive music) - Thanks to all the viewers who are filling our getting dot OLDER online survey.

You know, it's more and more every week.

So here's a viewer survey response from Nancy in Northern California.

Here's her answer to question number eight.

I felt old for the first time when?

Nancy says, "I felt old for the first time "when I thought I wanted to go back to work "after five years of retirement, "filled out applications online and was rejected".

Well, thank you for sharing, Nancy.

And, ouch!

Now, what about you?

Are you in your mid-sixties or older?

Have you tried applying for a job that you felt totally qualified for and not even gotten an an interview?

Has that happened more than once?

Do you wonder if you're being discriminated against because of your age?

Well, according to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, there's a good chance, your gut feeling is correct.

Here's an excerpt from a published summary of a recent study.

Quote, "The sample of more than "40,000 job applicant profiles offers statistical evidence "that there is age discrimination in hiring, "discrimination against both women and men."

Second, "Older applicants, those 64 to 66 years of age, "experience more age discrimination "than middle-age applicants ages 49 to 51".

Third, "Women, especially older women, "but even those of middle-age, "experience more age discrimination in hiring than men do".

Again, ouch.

So age discrimination is real and many of us want to or have to keep working past traditional retirement age.

This is a big issue.

And there's a lot to this story.

For more information, please go to our website and check out this upcoming interview.

(upbeat music) Millions of Americans expect to retire somewhere around age 65, and enjoy pensions, retirement accounts and social security.

But for many others, this is not the case.

Please join me, again, in welcoming Anne Doyle, president of LaSell Village, and an expert in lifelong learning.

According to the Pew Trusts, a lot of older people not only are choosing to work past 65, they have to work.

And sometimes, those jobs require them to learn new things.

So are older people choosing courses that can help them on the job?

- So people are absolutely going back to school because they have a vision of what they wanna do next.

And they know that they want to keep working or they need to keep working.

And I think one of the realities of a life that could be to a hundred is that most of us need to keep earning a paycheck, but it might not be the same thing we did until we were 45 or until we were 60.

So for example, I just attended the university graduation.

And one of the graduate students, who was a speaker, had completely retooled himself.

He had been a businessman and at 60, he decided, hey, I'm going back to the university.

I'm getting an education degree.

And now, in his mid-sixties, he's teaching fifth grade.

- Rock on.

(laughing) - And I think, rock on, is right.

- That's great.

- And I know personally, as someone who grew up with so many older adult friends, I didn't think of them that way.

It was just, Rose, up the street, or Aunt Helen, who were so inspirational to me.

And I am so pleased that those 10-year-olds are having Bruce as their fifth grade teacher because think of all that he's bringing.

- Absolutely.

- And not to mention, an incredible excitement of starting something, so, you know, as his second or maybe third act.

- Anne Doyle, thank you so much.

If you or someone you know has a mental illness, is struggling emotionally, or has concerns about their mental health, there are ways to get help.

Use these resources to find help for you, a friend or a family member.

(light instrumental music) (rhythmic music) We met Jesseca, the artist, in another episode of getting dot OLDER.

Her work is exhibited around the world but now we're just gonna talk about her, not her work.

The thing I hate most about my age now is?

- The thing I hate most about my age now?

I'm not sure if I hate anything about it.

I mean, I think I feel accepting.

I don't really have a choice.

Is there anything?

Well, one thing I don't know if I would say I hate it, but I find it sad is that the longer I live and someday it's gonna be my turn, too, friends of mine die.

And I've had three people I know, that I cared about, who've died in the last couple of years and you know, as I go along, that's something I realize, but I think I accept it.

I don't know that I hate it.

I may not like it, but.

- Yes, that's very poignant, isn't it?

- Yes, it's true.

I was just thinking about it the other day.

- [Roberto] The most profound life transition I ever had was?

- The most profound life transition I ever had was looking at my relationship to alcohol and alcoholism, and the role it played in my family and in my life.

That was the biggest, biggest encounter, I think, psychological, in my life.

- And what kind of role did it have in your life?

- In my life, alcohol had a very destructive role and I had to stop drinking.

So that was, that was huge.

I probably wouldn't be here talking to you today, Roberto, if I hadn't done that.

- Wow.

- Was it physically destructive?

I mean, was it putting your life at risk?

- Yes, yeah, I had trouble with my liver.

It wasn't good.

I mean, it was, for me, it was toxic.

Other people can handle it, but just for me it was toxic.

- Yeah.

You know, I met you after that period, right?

- Oh yes, that was a very long time ago, yeah.

- And I simply can't imagine it.

Isn't that something?

- Well, I can't imagine it either, but it's true.

I was a different person.

You know, back in my twenties and early thirties, it just, and there's a lot of alcoholism in my family.

So there were a lot of, you know, red flashing lights.

(Jesseca and Roberto laughing) - What about you?

Is there some physical, mental, or emotional trait that you were afraid you'd get from your family?

If so, what was it?

Did that trait manifest in your life?

Were you worried about your children getting it?

If you have siblings or children, did they also inherit that trait?

And how do you feel about that?

Please write and let me know and send a photo, if you can.

(upbeat music) Thanks to all the viewers who are filling out our getting dot OLDER online survey.

Here's a viewer survey response from Doris in South Carolina.

Here's her answer to question number 21.

In the next 10 years, Doris says, "In the next 10 years, "I would like to assist my family to realize a better life, "travel some more and stay as healthy as I can".

Thanks again, to Doris in South Carolina.

(Roberto speaking in foreign language) (Roberto laughing) (upbeat music) (swanky music) (air whooshing) For many of us, retirement signals a new phase in our lives.

We get a new mission statement, so to speak.

We met Karmen in episode one of getting dot OLDER.

(Karmen singing in foreign language) She's the Puerto Rican opera singer and teacher who spoke movingly about her relationship with her parents.

At the end of our interview, I asked her to share her current mission statement.

- One of the things that have been making me reflect about getting older is, you know, we have a time limit.

It's like we live in a plateau.

We live in this world.

We have been lucky enough to be in this body.

And it's like, I reflect up on it.

And there's so much that I need to do.

It's like a time frame.

I don't know when it's gonna be the end of my timeframe in this world.

So I try to do the best I can, but not only for myself, but for others.

And as I get older, I feel a need to tell my students, for example, you need to keep on striving, you need to keep on working.

No matter what, you keep on fulfilling those dreams.

So now I feel like I need to encourage others, also help others, and see how before I go, I leave a good legacy for others, for the new generation.

- What about you?

What's your mission statement at this time in your life?

How has it changed from before?

Please write and let me know.

This season on getting got OLDER... - Financial concerns are definitely more present than in the past.

- Because when you're old, you can do anything you want.

- The one thing I want to do before I die is spend more than at least 24 hours on each continent on this Earth.

- But I do think the Beatles had a big influence, I think, especially on psychedelics, actually.

And, then... - Thanks so much.

Please go to our website and take our survey and let us know if you're interested in doing a video call interview with me.

I'm really looking forward to hearing your story, online.

(upbeat music) (poignant music) (folk music) (dramatic music)