LEAVES NO ROOM TO DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

OFTEN THEY HAVE TO SKIP MEALS OR FAMILY DINNERS OR OTHER EVENTS TO JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO FIT IN TIME FOR THEIR HOMEWORK.

>> HEARING RAPHAEL MENTION THAT AS A THERAPIST, HOW IMPORTANT IS IT TO MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF AND MENTIONING JUST THE WORKLOAD THAT KIDS FACE THESE DAYS.

ASTRONOMICAL.

>> COMES OUT OF THE DECADES, SOCIETY ACHIEVEMENT FOCUSED.

TIGER MOM GONE CRAZY.

JUST COMING OUT OF THAT FOCUS ON ACHIEVEMENT.

WHAT ABOUT RESILIENCE?

WHAT ABOUT SELF‑CARE?

WHAT ABOUT TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF, SLOWING DOWN, MAYBE IT'S OKAY THAT YOU DON'T MAKE THIS MUCH MONEY BUT YOU ENJOY WHAT YOU DO.

1960, 70s, ASK COMB STUDENTS WHAT IS YOUR BIG GOAL IN LIFE?

SELF‑ACTUALIZATION.

MAKING DIFFERENCE IN THEIR COMMUNITY, HAVING STABLE RELATIONSHIPS.

GETTING MARRIED HAVE CHILDREN.

ASK TEENS YOUNG ADULTS MAIN FOCUS IS MONEY.

HOW MUCH MONEY CAN I MAKE?

COULD YOU IMAGINE PRESSURE TO MAKE GRADES TO GO TO COLLEGE AND MAJOR IN SOMETHING THAT MAKES LOT OF MONEY.

PUTS A TON OF PRESSURE ON KIDS.

>> FOR YOU DO YOU THINK THAT SOCIAL MEDIA HAS INCREASED PRESSURES ON YOUNG PEOPLE.

MAYBE EVEN COVID ON TOP OF THAT?

>> YES.

IS I KNOW SOME OF MY FRIENDS HAVE DIFFERENT TAKES ON IT.

ONE OF MY FRIENDS SAID THAT SOCIAL MEDIA IS A GREAT TOOL, BUT IT CAN BE USED IN THE WRONG WAYS.

LIKE SPREADING MISINFORMATION, OR KIND OF LIKE BRAGGING ABOUT ONE'S LIFE.

AND YEAH, I WOULD SAY THAT LIGHT OF THE CHALLENGES FACING YOUTH DOES COME FROM SOCIAL MEDIA BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH CYBER BULLYING AND IT'S JUST HARD TO SEE KIDS JUST LIVING THEIR NORMAL LIVES AND BEING BULLIED JUST BECAUSE, I DON'T KNOW, THEY HAVE A SAMSUNG AND NOT THE LATEST I‑PHONE.

OR THEY DON'T HAVE A FLAT SCREEN TV OR THEIR PARENTS DON'T DRIVE A TESLA.

AND I FEEL LIKE THAT IS SO MUCH LIKE, UNNEEDED JUDGMENT.

AND JUST COMPARISON.

COMPARISON IS LIKE THE LEADING CAUSE OF SO MANY MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES FACING YOUTH TODAY.

>> THAT MAKES ME THINK OF WHEN YOU THINK OF SOCIAL MEDIA, WHICH IS JUST BAKED INTO THE FABRIC NOW, SO OBVIOUSLY NOT REALISTIC TO SAY, DON'T USE SOCIAL MEDIA.

BUT THINK I THERE ARE HEALTHY WAYS TO USE SOCIAL MEDIA.

COMES DOWN TO REAL RELATIONSHIPS THAT YOU HAVE IN REAL LIFE.

SO IF YOU'RE USING SOCIAL MEDIA TO CONNECT TO ACTUAL PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE, THAT YOU CARE ABOUT AND WANT TO BE CONNECTED TO, I THINK THAT CAN ACTUALLY BE A REALLY HEALTHY THING.

MENTIONED LOT OF OTHER IMPORTANT THINGS.

ANYTHING THAT'S TAKING YOU AWAY FROM FEELING CONNECTED, THAT'S TAKING AWAY FROM YOUR REAL LIFE RELATIONSHIPS, WHETHER THAT WAS COVID, BECAUSE IT WAS ISOLATING OR SOCIAL MEDIA WHICH IS PULLING YOU AWAY FROM REAL INTERACTIONS.

I THINK THOSE THINGS DO OVERTIME START TO HAVE AN IMPACT BECAUSE REALLY, WHAT WE FOUND IN RESEARCH IS THAT WHAT LEADS TO RESILIENCE IN YOUNG PEOPLE, IS FEELING CONNECTED.

FEELING CONNECTED AT SCHOOL.

FEELING CONNECTED TO THEIR FAMILY.

HAVING MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR PEERS.

THOSE ARE REALLY FORTIFYING THINGS FOR YOUNG PEOPLE.

SO THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE COMMON THREAD IT ME, THINGS THAT HAVE ALREADY COME UP IS LIKE, ANYTHING THAT IS PULLING THEM AWAY FROM CONNECTING WITH OTHERS, PROBABLY NEEDS TO BE LOOKED AT.

>> I THINK SOCIAL MEDIA TOPIC, KIND OF DOUBLE‑EDGED SWORD.

JUST BECAUSE YOU KNOW, CAN YOU CONNECT WITH ALL OF YOUR PEERS, WHETHER YOU'RE IN YOUR YOUTH YEARS LIKE RAPHAEL ALL OF US HERE ON THE TABLE ON THE PANEL.

CONNECT AND RELATE TO IT OTHER PEOPLE.

AT THE SAME TIME, COMPARISON EFFECTS ALL OF US.

I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU.

WHAT ARE SOME OF THE CHALLENGES YOU'VE SEEN AS FAR AS MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES GO OUR YOUTH ARE FACING TODAY.

>> COVID WAS A BIG THING.

FORCED.

>> TO ISOLATE FROM EVERYONE.

FROM FAMILY MEMBERS, FROM FRIENDS AND JUST NORMAL EVERY DAY THINGS THAT THEY DID.

NOTHING NOTHING NEW.

MENTAL HEALTH HAS BEEN PLAGUING US FOR CENTURIES.

AND NOW, WE HAVE EDUCATION, NOW WE HAVE MENTORS TO BRING IT OUT.

YEAH, SOCIAL MEDIA IS HUGE.

WE HAVE THIS TOOL THAT THERE'S NO INSTRUCTION BOOK.

CAN YOU CONNECT WITH ANYBODY FOR ANYTHING.

GOOD AND BAD.

JUST LIKE ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD, MONEY, SOCIAL MEDIA, SAME THING.

TOO MUCH OF IT OR USED IN THE WRONG WAY CAN REALLY BE DETRIMENTAL FOR PERSONAL AND OTHER PEOPLE.

SO I SEE THAT THE MOST WITH OUR STUDENTS NOWADAYS.

IS THAT EVERYONE IS BEING COMPARED TO THESE OTHER PEOPLE'S HIGHLIGHTS.

THEY'RE NOT EVEN REAL LIFE.

THESE ARE THEIR HIGHLIGHTS.

BEST THEY CAN DO FOR THIS II REAL OR WHATEVER.

WOW, IT'S PERFECT.

THIS 20‑SECOND REEL.

THROW AWAY THOUSAND OF TAPES WE TOOK.

WE'RE GOING TO PUT IT, THAT GETS THEM.

I COULDN'T DO THAT.

I COULDN'T DO THAT.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU COULD IF YOU PRACTICED.

PRACTICE AND YOU DID IT A THOUSAND TIMES, PROBABLY ABLE TO DO IT.

JUST LIKE THEY DID.

>> I HAVE TWO TEENAGE DAUGHTERS ALL INTO SOCIAL MEDIA.

AND SO INTERESTING IS THAT THEY COGNITIVELY UNDERSTAND, THIS IS EVERYBODY'S BEST LIFE SHOWING UP.

BUT PSYCHOLOGICALLY, DOESN'T SO MUCH MATTER WHAT YOU COGNITIVELY UNDERSTAND.

>> STILL ILLUSIONARY INSTINCT.

ENVY SOMEBODY PRETTIER SMARTER OR BETTER THAN YOU SOMETIMES OVERRIDES COGNITIVE UNDERSTANDING THAT THEY KNOW THIS ISN'T, PERSON HAS BEEN AIR BRUSHED.

STILL, FEELING IS THERE.

AND THAT IS WHAT OVER TIME, NEURONS FIRE THAT TOGETHER WIRE TOGETHER.

ALWAYS FEELING COMPARED TO AND ALWAYS FEELING ENVY AND JEALOUSY, EVENTUALLY THAT, CAN BECOME LIKE YOUR DEFAULT SETTING AND YOU CAN'T HELP BUT GO INTO SOCIETY AND PARTICIPATE THAT WAY.

WITHOUT FEELING JOLTS OF ENVY AND JEALOUSY AND THAT BECOME HOW YOU ARE.

THAT'S WHAT I THINK I MOST NERVOUS ABOUT.

PERSONALLY.

SEEING THESE DEFAULT SYSTEMS SET UP IN MY CLIENTS.

IT'S LIKE IT USED TO BE FELT ENVIOUS ONCE IN A WHILE.

JEALOUS ONCE IN A FEEL, CONSTANT FEELING SEVERAL HOURS AWAY.

WORRIED FOR ME YOUTH ARE GOING TO FEEL THAT WAY ALL THE TIME.

WALK AROUND FEELING FOUNDATION OF COMPARING THEMSELVES AND NOT GOOD ENOUGH ALL OF THESE THINGS.

ADD THAT TO BEING ON SOCIAL MEDIA FOR HOURS AND HOURS.

WEE HOURS NIGHT.

NOW NOT GETTING GOOD SLEEP.

THAT CAN MESS YOUR MOOD AND HOW YOU'RE FEELING AND HOW YOU INTERACT WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

SO THERE'S SO MANY PARTS TO IT.

I THINK.

>> MAYBE WE CAN GO AROUND.

>> YOU THINK EVERYBODY IS DOING TO HAVE SORT OF LITTLE DIFFERENT TAKE.

WHEN WE TALK ABOUT HOW SOCIAL MEDIA IS AFFECTING OUR YOUNGER GENERATION, LIKE BRITT, FOR YOU WHEN YOU HEAR ONE OF MAYBE ONE OF YOUR CLIENTS THAT TALK ABOUT THAT, THAT JEALOUSY AND ENVY AND ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION.

THAT'S MAKING THEM FEEL, HOW DO ALL OF YOU RESPOND TO PEOPLE IN OUR COMMUNITY BRINGING UP THESE CONCERNS?

>> FOR THE CHILDREN?

OR ADULTS?

>> HONESTLY FOR BOTH.

>> YOU KNOW, WE ALL SEEM TO FEEL THE SAME WAY.

YET, IT'S LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN ALL ON, NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO GET OFF.

GENERALLY I FEEL A LOT OF EMPATHY AND CAMARADERIE WITH EVERYBODY SITTING AT THIS TABLE.

WE ALL GET IT AND ALL TRYING TO IN OUR OWN LITTLE COCOONS NOT WORLD TO OFFSET IS.

I'M NOT SURE WHAT IS GOING TO TAKE AT THAT ACTUALLY TAKE TO MOVE THE DIAL.

WITH MY SON'S SCHOOL, NOT ALLOWED ON THEIR PHONES ALL DAY AND NOT EVEN ALLOWED ON AFTER SCHOOL UNTIL THEY'RE IN THE CAR.

I LIKE THAT.

THAT'S A NICE LONG BREAK FROM IT.

I DON'T KNOW, DO SCHOOLS NEED TO GET ON BOARD AND IMPLEMENT SOME OF THESE POLICIES?

>> WHEN I DEAL WITH OUR STUDENT OR SO INDIVIDUALS THAT HAVE THESE QUESTIONS, I ALWAYS BRING IT BACK TO PRACTICE.

YOU'RE LOOKING AGAIN AT THIS 20‑SECOND FILM OR 20 SECOND TAKE.

NOT ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

REAL LIFE.

I CAN'T DO THAT.

I CANNOT DO THAT AS WELL AS THIS GUY.

HOW MUCH DO YOU PRACTICE?

SKATEBOARDING ALL THE TIME, SUCK AT MATH.

HOW MUCH DO YOU SKATEBOARD?

6 HOURS A DAY.

6 HOURS A WEEK.

HOW MANY HOURS DO YOU PRACTICE MATH?

I DON'T.

SUCK AT MATH.

I WANT TO REINSTILL IN THEM, I FEEL LIKE WE'RE PULLING AWAY FROM THE WORK ETHIC FROM OUR STUDENTS.

SOME STUDENTS I SEE.

SHOULD BE EASY.

YOU WOULD HAVE TO WORK FOR IT.

NO MATTER WHAT YOU WANT.

WORK FOR IT.

HARDER YOU WORK FOR IT, BETTER YOU'RE GOING TO BE.

I LIKE TO TAKE SPORT AS APPROACH TO EVERYTHING WE DO.

MATH, READING, IF YOU WANT TO READ BETTER, READ MORE.

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE BETTER, WRITE MORE.

THAT'S HOW I FEEL.

THAT'S HOW I LIKE APPROACH THOSE SITUATIONS.

SOME KIDS DON'T LIKE THAT BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME THE ANSWERS.

THE ANSWERS TO WORK HARDER.

THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT.

YOU MEAN OTHER ANSWERS.

FIVE‑SECOND REEL.

>> YOU'RE KIND OF A LEADER IN A SENSE FOR I THINK YOUTH THAT YOU'RE SO WILLING TO BE OPEN ABOUT THIS, CONVERSATION AND I THINK TOPIC, SO IF ANY OF YOUR PEERS EVER COME TO YOU, MAYBE WITH SOME OF THEIR CONCERNS OR MENTION THEY'RE FEELING CERTAIN WAY, ENVY FROM SOCIAL MEDIA, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO THEM?

>> I ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS.

LIKE OKAY, WHY, WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?

LIKE, I WANT TO FIND THE ROOT CAUSE OF IT.

AND IF IT'S SOMETHING ON SOCIAL MEDIA, I'LL LIKE LOOK IT UP AND BE LIKE, OKAY, IS THIS A REAL THING?

OR ALL OF THAT.

BUT I FEEL LIKE BIG THING IS JUST EDUCATING THOSE TEENS AND YOUTH TO LIKE, LET THEM KNOW NOT ALL OF IT IS REAL.

EVEN THOUGH IT'S CALLED A REEL.

IT'S NOT REAL.

AND I FEEL LIKE YEAH, LIKE WHAT YOU WERE SAYING ABOUT HOW LIKE THEY'LL SEE LIKE A 20‑SECOND THING.

THINK THAT, OH,, THAT IS THEIR ENTIRE LIFE.

THEN I'M LIKE, THINK ABOUT MOVIE.

TAKES LIKE 2 YEARS OF PLANNING, THEN A YEAR OF FILMING.

I'M LIKE, THERE'S SO MANY TAKES AND ALL OF THAT, AND EVEN AFTER THAT, THEY HAVE TO EDIT ONLY ALL OF GOOD THINGS.

THEN I'M LIKE, LIFE IS FILLED WITH UPS AND DOWNS.

JUST BECAUSE YOU ONLY SEE A PERSON'S UPS.

LIKE TO GET TO UP, YOU HAVE TO BE DOWN FIRST.

SO I FEEL LIKE THAT'S THE THING THAT A LOT OF YOUTH KIND OF MISS.

OR I KNOW ANOTHER THING I SEE IS SO MANY LIKE REALLY REALLY YOUNG KIDS ARE SOCIAL MEDIA.

AND FOR ME PERSONALLY, I DON'T THINK IT'S LIKE, I KNOW IT'S OBVIOUSLY UP TO THE PARENTS, BUT I PERSONALLY DON'T THINK LIKE IT'S A REALLY GOOD IDEA BECAUSE THEN IT'S INSTILLED IN THEM AT A YOUNG AGE THAT OH,, THIS IS NORMAL LIFE.

IN REALITY, IT REALLY ISN'T.

YEAH, AND I FEEL THAT LIKE THAT NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT TO SO MANY KIDS AND I KNOW OBVIOUSLY, COVID DIDN'T HELP WITH THAT BECAUSE ALL YOUTH REALLY HAD WAS SOCIAL MEDIA.

LIKE THEY COULDN'T REALLY GO OUTSIDE A LOT.

BUT YEAH, THAT'S KIND OF WHAT THINK I THINK.

>> IT'S A LOT OF CONTENT TO PROCESS WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

LOOK AT 20‑SECOND REEL AFTER 20‑SECOND REEL AND THAT IS A LOT OF INFORMATION COMING AT YOU AND DEPENDING ON WHERE YOU ARE IN DEVELOPMENTALLY, IT'S REALLY HARD TO KNOW WHAT THAT CONTINENT MEANS TO THAT YOUNG PERSON.

CONTENT MEANS TO THAT YOUNG PERSON.

HOW THEY'RE INTERPRETING, WHAT MEANING IT HAS.

LIKE YOU'RE SAYING, THERE'S A LOT IN THERE AND FOR SOMEONE TO SORT THROUGH OF LIKE, IS THIS REAL?

IS THAT REALISTIC?

IS THAT MEANINGFUL FOR ME?

IS THAT SOMETHING THAT I WANT TO COPY?

DOES THAT LOOK COOL?

DO I LIKE THAT?

THAT'S HAPPENING IN SECONDS BEFORE THEY JUST SCROLL TO THE NEXT REEL.

>> YEAH.

I DO TO REMIND ALL OF OUR VIEWERS TUNING IN THAT THROUGHOUT THIS PROGRAM, WE ARE GOING TO BE PUTTING UP SOME NUMBERS FOR ANYONE WOULD MAY BE FEELING LIKE THEY NEED TO REACH OUT OR IF THEY NEED ANY SORT OF MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT.

THERE ARE NUMBERS AND HOTLINES AND RESOURCES OUT THERE.

SO PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR SCREEN.

WE DO HAVE CRISIS HOTLINE THAT YOU CAN TEXT AND ALSO, WEBSITE AS WELL.

SO FROM TIME TO TIME, THROUGHOUT THE NEXT 30 MINUTES, 40 MINUTES OR SO, YOU ARE GOING TO BE SEEING THIS GRAPHIC BECAUSE WE DID WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT ALL OF OUR VIEWERS THOSE RESOURCES OUT THERE.

SPEAKING OF RESOURCES, AND SERVICES, I HAVE A QUESTION ACTUALLY FROM JOHN FROM PEARL CITY.

I'LL PUT THIS ONE TO YOU AND ANYBODY ELSE CAN CHIME IN.

HOW WE GET FOR SERVICES TO OUR YOUTH?

UP TO THE STATE, COUNTIES FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OR IS IT THE PRIVATE SECTOR?

>> COMBINATION OF.

EVERYBODY'S GOT TO COME TOGETHER.

EVERYBODY I THINK TRADITIONALLY, WE PUT IT ON DIFFERENT ENTITIES.

AND I PERSONALLY DON'T FEEL LIKE THAT'S THE ANSWER.

EVERYBODY NEEDS TO COME TO THE TABLE AND BRING SOMETHING.

BRING SOMETHING TO EAT TO THIS TABLE.

WE HAVE REALLY AWESOME RESOURCES, PRIVATELY, AND FEDERALLY FUNDED.

WE HAVE SUCH GOOD RESOURCES.

BUT YOU KNOW, PRIVATELY, THERE'S A SMALL GROUP OFPOPULATION OF KIDS THAT CAN GET IT.

POPULATION OF KIDS THAT CAN GET IT OR PEOPLE.

FEDERALLY, YOU GOT A BIGGER PORTION, BUT IT'S NOT AS GOOD AS A PRIVATE, YOU KNOW, IN MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.

BUT THE RESOURCES ARE THERE.

ALL, EVERYTHING YOU NEED ARE HERE.

BUT IF WE COULD FOCUS ON GETTING PEOPLE TO WORK TOGETHER AND ENTITIES TO WORK TOGETHER, I FEEL LIKE THAT WOULD BRING IT, BRING UP THE MOSTLY THINK SUCCESS IN OUR PROGRAMS.

>> I WOULD LOVE FOR TO YOU CHIME IN ON THAT ESPECIALLY THIS IS KIND OF YOUR SPECIALTY.

>> SURE.

YEAH, I MEAN, I WORK FOR THE STATE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH.

CHILD ADOLESCENT MENTAL HEALTH DIVISION.

WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS SO TRUE.

IF YOU DON'T HAVE THOSE KIND CROSS CUTTING COLLABORATIONS, WHERE PEOPLE ARE PARTNERING TO WORK WITH EACH OTHER, KIDS CAN FALL THROUGH THE CRACKS.

EVERYONE HAS THEIR ELIGIBILITY CRITERIA.

OR WHAT THE FUNDING IS ALLOWED TO BE USED FOR.

OR GEOGRAPHIC LOCATION THAT YOU'RE ALLOWED TO SERVE.

AND SO IT REALLY DOES TAKE A PATCHWORK OF ALL OF THOSE THINGS TOGETHER.

TO REALLY MAKE SURE THAT THERE'S A SAFETY NET THIS PLACE FOR EVERYBODY.

>> I ALSO WANT TO PUT REALLY SERIOUSNESS OF THIS CONVERSATION INTO CONTEXT FOR OUR VIEWERS.

JUST THROWING OUT SOME STATISTICS HERE.

ACCORDING TO THE CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION, SUICIDE IS THE THIRD LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH FOR OUR YOUTH, AGES 10 TO 24.

IT IS ALSO THE SECOND LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH FOR YOUTH AGES 10 TO 14.

I'M SURE FOR OUR PANELISTS HERE, MAYBE THAT IS NOT SUCH A SURPRISING NUMBER UNFORTUNATELY.

I THINK FOR A LOT OF US, IT IS TO HEAR THAT.

CAN YOU TALK ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SUICIDE AND SELF‑HARM AND MAYBE EVEN SOME OF THE OTHER INVISIBLE MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES LIKE ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION THAT A LOT OF OUR YOUTH ARE DEALING?

>> GREAT QUESTION.

FINALLY TAKES THAT STEP TO ATTEMPT SUICIDE OR MAKE A PLAN, YOU KNOW, THERE IS FINITE AMOUNT OF TIME WHEN INTERVENTION CAN MOVE DIAL AND SAVE THAT PERSON AND UNFORTUNATELY, THAT IS WHERE I THINK THE LACK OF CRISIS PROVIDERS AND SERVICE PROVIDERS PROBABLY IS THE MOST ACUTE IN THAT SENSE.

AND SO IT'S SO GREAT WE HAVE 988 NOW.

WE HAVE THAT.

WE DIDN'T HAVE THAT FOR MANY YEARS.

SO SELF‑HARM JUST TO GIVE YOU LITTLE BIT MORE DEFINITION, IS ON THE RISE QUITE A BIT ESPECIALLY AROUND TEEN GIRLS IF.

YOU HEARD ABOUT THE TERM CUTTING, OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, IF ANYBODY VIEWERS V THAT SELF‑HARM WHETHER IT'S RAZOR OR EVEN YOUR FINGERNAILS, SOMETHING THAT IS HARMING YOU, AND WE IT DOESN'T ALWAYS LEAD TO SUICIDE IDEATION OR A PLAN.

BUT IT IS ALARM BELL.

IT IS LIKE SOMETHING IS GOING ON INTERNALLY THAT THIS PERSON IS TURNING TO EXTERNAL STIMULUS IN ORDER TO RELIEVE IN THEIR MINDS, TO FEEL SOMETHING, INTERNALLY THEY FEEL NUMB.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU FEEL IT, SCARIEST THING.

CLIENT COMES IN AND I DEAL DEPRESSED.

SAD.

I COULD WORK WITH THIS.

THEY SAY I FEEL NOTHING, I FEEL NUMB.

THAT IS USUALLY WHEN SELF‑HARM WILL START TO HAPPEN.

SCARCE ME INTO TAKING EXTRAORDINARY ACTION.

BECAUSE WHAT THAT MEANS IS THAT THEY'VE ALREADY PASSED THE SADNESS AN DEPRESSION OFTENTIME NOW THE NOTHINGNESS.

THAT IS WHERE I THINK WE'VE SEEN THE TREND UP.

IS THAT SYMPTOMS DEPRESSION HAVE BECOME SO SEVERE AND HAVEN'T BEEN CAUGHT IN TIME, INTO THE NUMBNESS AND WHY LIVE.

THAT WHAT YOU'RE FEELING OR SEEING?

>> YES.

I THINK WITH SUICIDE, SO IMPORTANT THAT WE'RE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION.

MENTAL HEALTH MONTH.

AND I THINK A LOT OF WHAT MAKES SUICIDE SO DANGEROUS.

ISOLATION.

STIGMATIZED.

SCARY TOPIC THAT PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

AND THERE IS A FEAR, MYTH, THAT IF YOU TALK ABOUT IT, YOU'RE GOING TO CAUSE IT.

AND ACTUALLY, NOT TALKING ABOUT IT IS LETTING IT HAPPEN.

AND SO I THINK IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT THING FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT SUICIDE IS THAT MOST OF US SOMETIMES YOU CAN TELL THAT SOMETHING IS OFF, NOT NECESSARILY YOU DON'T KNOW IF THE PERSON IS THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE, BUT IF IT'S SOMEBODY THAT YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH, YOU CAN TELL THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG.

THAT CAN BE REALLY SCARY FOR PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY MIGHT FEEL LIKE I DON'T WANT TO ASK IF THEY'RE THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE, WHAT IF SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS?

IMPORTANT THING ABOUT SUICIDE IS THAT BRINGING IT OUT INTO THE OPEN, YOU ACTUALLY DO TAKE SOME OF THE POWER OUT OF IT BY LETTING SOMEONE KNOW, I SEE YOU, I CARE ABOUT YOU, I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU, AND IF YOU'RE FEELING THIS WAY, LET'S GET SOME HELP.

LET'S CALL 988.

LET'S TEXT.

LET'S CHAT.

I THINK THAT IS SO IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT IT SO THAT DESTIGMATIZED AND PEOPLE CAN GET THE SUPPORT THEY NEED.

>> I THINK YOU JUST ANSWERED THIS VIEWER'S QUESTION.

PERFECT TRANSITION.

MAYBE EVERYBODY ELSE CAN WEIGH IN.

THIS VIEWER WROTE IN, NEWS MEDIA DOES NOT REPORT ON SUICIDE, ASSUMPTION IS THAT IT WILL ENCOURAGE IT MORE.

ABOUT YOU DO YOU THINK THAT SHOULD CHANGE WOULD KNOWING HOW OFTEN IT ACTUALLY HAPPENS, HELP DRIVE THE CONVERSATION AND HELP EVERYONE SEE THE URGENCY FOR A CHANGE?

I KNOW.

>> USED TO BE NEWS BUSINESS.

YOU GOT ME.

ACTUALLY, THERE IS DATA TO SUPPORT THAT YES, REPORTING ON SUICIDE CAUSES A SPIKE.

NOW, I DON'T KNOW THE EXACTLY PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND THAT EXCEPT FOR IT COULD NORMALIZE, OH, THAT PERSON DID IT, I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT.

>> THERE COULD BE COPYCATS THAT TYPE OF WAY.

I THINK THERE MIGHT BE A BETTER WAY TO TALK ABOUT IT AS OPPOSED TO BROADCASTING IT IN THE NEWS.

WHEN A CELEBRITY, HAPPENS TO A CELEBRITY, END UP REPORTING IT ANYWAY.

DATA DOESN'T SEEM TO LIE AND IT DOES CAUSE A SPIKE.

BUT IS IT CAUSALITY?

CORRELATIONAL?

IT'S HARD TO SAY.

ONE THING WAS GOING TO SAY ABOUT THE TEXTING THOUGH, IS THERE'S REALLY INNATE DATA ABOUT THERAPISTS, THERE WAS AN EXPERIMENT, I THINK VETERANS THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE.

>> HAD SUICIDAL IDEATION.

GETTING A TEXT, EVERY DAY FROM THEIR THERAPIST OR SOMEONE THEY CARE ABOUT SAYING, HOW ARE YOU DOING?

JUST CHECKING ON YOU.

I'M THINKING ABOUT YOU.

CUT THEIR SUICIDE RATE BY CLOSE TO 20%.

SO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT HUMAN CONNECTION, HOW EASY AIR QUOTES WOULD THAT BE FOR A THERAPIST OR PROFESSIONAL OR SOMEONE TO CHECK IN ON SOMEONE WHO IS ACTUALLY SUICIDE EVERY DAY.

MAYBE MOVE THE DAILY WAY THAT.

>> CURIOUS TO HEAR HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT.

>> AGAIN,S THAT EXTREMELY TOUGH TO TALK ABOUT.

NEEDED.

IT NEEDS TO BE OUT THERE.

NEEDS TO BE SAID.

HOW WE SAY.

I THINK YOU CAN ALSO PUT THOSE PEOPLE INTO LIKE THIS HERO CATEGORY.

OH, THEY GOT ALL OF THIS PUBLICITY FOR DOING THIS TO THEMSELVES.

WE HEAR OF THESE OTHER SITUATIONS WHERE PEOPLE MANIPULATE OTHER PEOPLE TO COMMIT SUICIDE SO THAT THEY, THEIR BOYFRIEND, GIRLFRIEND, WHOEVER, CAN GET THAT NET RIGHT OR THAT SUPPORT FROM EVERYONE ELSE.

NOTORIETY.

BY CAUSING SOMEONE ELSE TO PUSH IT TO.

SO THAT IS DEFINITELY A TOUGH ONE.

I DEFINITELY FEEL WE NEED TO OPEN IT UP AND OPEN UP THE CONVERSATION FOR PEOPLE TO BE ABLE TO HAVE THAT CONVERSATION.

>> PERSONALLY, I AM ALL ABOUT TRYING TO INSTILL HOPE INTO PEOPLE.

JUST LIKE DRUGS.

I THINK DRUGS AND SUICIDE, THEY'RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE.

KIND OF ON THAT SAME PATH.

I LOST HOPE AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

WHAT ELSE CAN I DO.

AND IF WE CAN ALL JUST HELP TO INSTILL HOPE, IN MY OPINION, OF COURSE JUST MY OWN OPINION, I JUST FEEL LIKE WE COULD HELP DO A LOT OF GOOD THINGS.

>> WE ALSO HAVE ANOTHER VIEWER EMAIL QUESTION ACTUALLY.

CAN GO ABOUT OUR PRESCRIBED MEDICATIONS A CONTRIBUTING FACTOR TO MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS?

MAYBE, ANYONE.

>> PSYCHOTROPIC.

>> MEDICATIONS TO TREATMENT MENTAL HEALTH CONDITIONS?

I THINK PROBABLY REFERRING TO ANY SORT OF MEDICATION THAT MAYBE THERAPIST WOULD PRESCRIBE FOR CHILDREN THAT MIGHT BE DIAGNOSED WITH SOMETHING.

>> ASKING IF IT INCREASES LIKELIHOOD OF MENTAL HEALTH?

>> ARE PRESCRIBED MEDICATIONS A CONTRIBUTING FACTOR TO MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS?

>> I THINK PROBABLY THE INVERSE IS SOMEWHAT TRUE.

IN SO MUCH AS PLENTY OF FOLKS.

>> MY CLIENTS INCLUDED HAVE FELT RESPITE AND RELIEF GOING ON, ANXIETY MEDICATION DEPRESSION MEDICATION.

DOESN'T HAVE TO BE FOREVER.

SOMETIMES IT DOES.

I WOULD IMAGINE THAT FOR EVERY ONE PATIENT WHO HAS AN ADVERSE REACTION TO PSYCHOTROPIC MEDICATION AND FINE PRINT SAYS, COULD INCREASE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, THAT'S VERY SCARY FOR SOME PEOPLE.

FOR EVERY PERSON THAT IS HAVING ADVERSE REACTION, I WOULD LIKE TO BELIEVE MANY, MANY ARE FINDING RELIEF AND HELP IN PSYCHOTROPIC MEDICATION.

I THINK IT ALSO MATTERS ABOUT YOUR PRESCRIBER.

IS THERE SERVICES COMMITTEE YOUR PRESCRIBER CONNECTING WITH YOU DURING YOUR APPOINTMENT?

ARE THEY MONITORING YOUR MEDICATIONS VERY CAREFULLY?

WE HAVE SEVERAL PRESCRIBERS EXPLORE COUNSELING AND THEY'RE SO GOOD ABOUT CHECKING IN.

THEY DON'T JUST WRITE 90 DAY SCRIPTS AND THEN NEVER SEE YOU.

SO IT'S QUALITY OF CARE DOES MATTER I THINK TOO.

MENTS I THINK COMBINATION WITH THERAPY, I THINK SOMETIMES IT CAN BE TEMPTING TO THINK, I COULD TAKE A PILL, SOLVE ALL MY PROBLEMS.

IT CAN GET YOU TO A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN ENGAGE IN THERAPY MORE FULLY.

AND GET THE MOST OUT OF IT.

SO I THINK THE COMBINATION IS ACTUALLY BETTER.

>> GREAT POINT.

I DO WANT TO SEGUE TALK RESOURCES OUT THERE IN OUR LOCAL COMMUNITY.

DO YOU MIND TELLING US JUST A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HUAKEALA PONO.

WHAT DO YOU AND HELP THE LOCAL COMMUNITY.

>> IT MEANS TO SPARK OR IGNITE HOPE.

GOOD LIFE.

THAT'S WHAT WE TRY TO DO.

WE WANT TO GIVE OUR STUDENTS AND OUR INDIVIDUALS THE HOPE AND THE I CAN DO IT MENTALITY.

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU STARTED AT, EVERYBODY IS GOING TO SUCK AT THE BEGINNING NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.

EVERYTHING'S JUNK?

IT'S GOING TO GET BETTER.

JUST GIVE THEM THE HOPE, YOU'RE GOING TO CONTINUE TO GET BETTER.

WITH ARE A TRADES PROGRAM.

>> WORKFORCE DEVELOPMENT TRAINING AND EDUCATIONAL PROGRAM.

WE BRING OUR KIDS IN.

WE HAVE THREE PROGRAMS.

HIGH SCHOOL PROGRAM.

9 THROUGH 12 GRADE.

INTERNSHIP PROGRAM.

17 TO 24.

ALL FEMALE PROGRAM.

AND THEY ALL WORK THE SAME.

WE TEACH THEM FINANCIAL SKILLS.

INVESTMENT SKILLS.

TEACH THEM HOW TO NOT JUST GO TO WORK AND DO WORK.

ABOUT YOU HOW TO IV&V TO BE REALLY GOOD AT STRIVE TO BE REALLY GOOD AT IT.

NOT IN A COMPETITIVE WAY.

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT WE DO.

WE'RE PART OF A TEAM.

PART OF A TEAM.

WE HAVE A GOAL.

AND WE NEED TO HIT THAT.

I THINK THAT IS A LOT OF THE MENTAL HEALTH THAT WE FEEL NOW WE'RE JUST GETTING SO DISCONNECTED FROM EVERYONE.

THERE'S NO TEAM.

FAMILIES, YOUR OWN FAMILY, EVERYBODY IS FOR THEMSELVES.

MY KIDS TOO.

LOCK THEMSELVES IN THE ROOM AND THEY GO ON THEIR PHONES OR TV WE GOT TO PULL THEM OUT.

JUST TRYING TO INSTILL THAT TEAM.

EVERYTHING YOU DO, WHETHER IT'S MARRIAGE, WORK, GOING TO DEAL WITH A TEAM AND YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER.

>> WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS SO PALPABLE BECAUSE TWO OF THE MAIN INSULATORS OF ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION, ARMOR YOU PUT ON TO NOT FEEL THAT PALPABLY INTIMATE CONNECTIONS WITH OTHERS.

>> RESILIENCE.

GETTING GOOD AT SOMETHING.

THINK ABOUT WHAT WE TOOK AWAY DURING COVID.

THOSE TWO THINGS.

SOCIALLY ISOLATED TOOK AWAY THE OPPORTUNITY AND TEAMS SPORTS TO GET GOOD AT SOMETHING, TO BUILD SKILLS AT SOMETHING, SO IT'S NOT A HUGE SURPRISE WE'RE HERE.

BECAUSE TWO OF THOSE INSULATORS TO MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS WERE BASICALLY ERASED FOR A YEAR HALF OR TWO.

>> I LOVE WHAT I'M HEARING.

HEARING COMMUNITY.

>> BUILDING COMMUNITY AND ALSO, CHECKING IN ON YOUR FRIENDS, LOVED ONES.

OUR 16‑YEAR‑OLD PANELIST HERE, YOU'VE DONE THAT TREMENDOUSLY WITH CHATS.

CARING FOR HAWAII TEENS WITH SPEECH CHALLENGES.

TELL ME WHAT DO YOU IN THE COMMUNITY YOU BUILT.

>> CHATS IS A 501C3 CORPORATION.

I FOUNDED IT ABOUT TWO SUMMERS AGO AS I WAS LOOKING FOR LOCAL GROUPS IN HAWAII FOR TEENS WHO HAVE SPEECH CHALLENGES.

AND THERE WEREN'T ANY, SO I DECIDED TO START MY OWN.

WITH THE HELP FROM FAMILIES, FRIENDS, AND LOCAL ORGANIZATIONS, I WAS ABLE TO FOUND IT.

AND OUR MAIN GOAL, IS TO BRING EDUCATION TO THE COMMUNITY ABOUT THOSE WITH SPEECH CHALLENGES WHILE PROVIDING SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT TO THOSE TEENS.

>> REALLY COOL.

BUILDING THAT COMMUNITY.

AND MAKING LIKE YOUR PEERS FEEL LIKE THEY'RE NOT ALONE.

I DO WANT TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK BECAUSE RAPHAEL HERE, ONLY 16, ALSO YOU LOVE VIDEOGRAPHY.

TALENTED.

DID A HIKI NO PROGRAM.

VIDEO ON RESOURCES FOR YOUTH.

LOOK AT THIS VIDEO OF SPILL THE TEA CAFE.

>> WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A CAFE WITH A THERAPY CLINIC?

YOU GET A NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION CALLED SPILL THE TEA CAFE.

THIS TEEN THERAPY CLINIC IS LOCATED IN HONOLULU AND IS COFOUNDED BY LOCAL TEEN MATT STROM BACK.

SINGLE THERAPY.

GROUP THERAPY.

PLACE TO HANG OUT.

BOARD GAMES.

SNACKS.

DRINK.

>> IDEA FIFTH GRADE TO HAVE SPILL THE TEA CAFE.

MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC FOR PEOPLE IN GENERAL, BUT JUST I THINK MADDIE WANTED TO INTEGRATE LIKE THE CAFE VIBE WITH THE CLINICAL VIBE.

BECAUSE IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT WE ARE USED TO.

I THINK FOR MADDIE AND FOR MYSELF, AS WELL, SOMETIMES THERAPY CAN FEEL SCARY OR FEEL VERY STERILE.

>> DIFFICULT TIME, MATT'S HELPED TO REVEAL A NEW PASSION.

I WENT TO THERAPY.

PARENTS GOT DIVORCED.

LEARNED ABOUT GRIEF.

GOT ME INTERESTED IN PSYCHOLOGY.

SPILL THE TEA CAFE'S LICENSED THERAPISTSES OFFER GROUP AND INDIVIDUALS AN APPOINTMENT ON THEIR WEBSITE.

WALK‑INS TO TALK, ENJOY A BOBA OR PLAY GAMES ARE ALWAYS WELCOME AS WELL.

>> IT DOESN'T JUST FEEL SAFE.

IT IS SAFE.

SOMEWHERE WHERE YOU WANT TO GO.

AND SO IF YOU HAVE ALL OF THESE THING IS NOT ONLY HAVE A POSITIVE CONNECTION WITH THE THERAPY, WITHOUT FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE, ALSO HAVE THE POSITIVE CONNECTION OF BEING ABLE TO COME HERE WITH THEIR FRIENDS ANY TIME.

A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE THAT SUICIDE IS THE NUMBER ONE CAUSE OF DEATH FOR KIDS IN HAWAII.

AGES 15 TO 24.

I REALLY JUST FELT THIS WAS A REALLY GOOD TIME TO TAKE ACTION AND REALLY BRING MADDIE'S VISION TO LIFE.

>> I REALLY LIKE THE PEOPLE HERE.

ENVIRONMENT.

IT'S VERY CALMING.

AND EVERYONE REALLY NICE.

IT'S VERY ACCEPTING.

IT GIVES ME HOPE TO SEE MADDIE AND OTHER KIDS TO THRIVING HERE AND GIVES ME MOTIVATION TO CONTINUE THIS BECAUSE NONPROFIT WORK IS PRETTY DIFFICULT, BUT IT'S DEFINITELY WORTH IT.

>> THIS IS RAPHAEL STARK, HOME SCHOOL SOPHOMORE FOR HIKI NO ON PBS HAWAII.

>> FIRST OF ALL, REALLY WELL DONE.

DEFINITE HAVE A TALENT FOR VIDEOGRAPHY.

TOLD ME EARLIER YOU WANTED TO MAJOR IN FILM.

YOU WENT TO COLLEGE.

I SEE THAT PATH FOR YOU.

PANELISTS WATCHING THE VIDEO NODDING YOUR HEADS.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE MORE CAFES LIKE SPILL THE TEA CAFE ARE NEEDED OR MORE RESOURCES LIKE THAT FOR YOU AND YOUR PEERS?

>> YES.

SO AS MENTIONED IN THE VIDEO, MAIN THING IS TO BREAK KIND OF THAT LIKE STERILE FEEL OF THERAPY.

THAT CAN TURN AWAY SO MANY KIDS AND AGAIN TURNING THAT BACK TO THE JUDGMENT LIKE THERE IS SO MANY JUDGMENT AND STIGMAS SURROUNDING THOSE WHO WANT TO GET THERAPY.

AND GET HELP.

YES, SO I DEFINITELY THINK THAT THERE SHOULD BE MORE SAFE SPACES LIKE SPILL THE TEA CAFE.

IN ALL PLACES OF THE WORLD.

BECAUSE AS IT IS GREAT TO HAVE LIKE THERAPY CLINICS, THERE'S NOT REALLY JUST LIKE A SECOND HOME WHERE YOU CAN GO TO AND FEEL SAFE WITH OTHER TEENS LIKE YOU THAT WILL UNDERSTAND YOU AND ARE GOING THROUGH SIMILAR CHALLENGES.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

ESPECIALLY I WOULD THINK IF SOMEBODY IS NEVER HAD EXPOSURE TO THERAPY OR DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IS LIKE OR WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE, PLACE LIKE THAT WOULD BE SO MUCH MORE ACCESSIBLE.

>> I THINK, AND LIKE OH, YEAH, I WOULD DEFINITELY GO TO A CAFE WHERE OTHER PEOPLE ARE AND HANG OUT.

PROBABLY SOUNDS LIKE EASIER WAY TO START THEIR JOURNEY THAN JUST GOING TO A CLINIC TO SEE MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL NEVER MET BEFORE.

SOMETHING LIKE THAT GREAT WAY TO MAKE THE SERVICE MORE IS AVAILABLE TO YOUNG PEOPLE.

ON TOPIC RESOURCE OUT THERE.

WHAT ARE SOME OF THE SIGNS THAT PARENTS CAN LOOK OUT FOR IN THEIR YOUTH, BEING ABLE TO UNDERSTAND IS MY CHILD STRUGGLING WITH MAYBE ANXIETY OR DEPRESSION.

OR HOPEFULLY NOT BUT MAYBE EVEN WORSE.

>> SURE.

WELL, I THINK THE MAIN THING TO KEEP IN MIND IS THAT ANY DRAMATIC CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR IS WORTH PAYING ATTENTION TO.

YOU KNOW, SO YOU REALLY DO WANT TO NOTICE THINGS LIKE DO THEY ALSO NOT SEEM VERY INTERESTED IN THINGS THAT THEY USED TO REALLY TALK A LOT, ALWAYS TAKE A LOT OF JOY IN.

WITHDRAWING FROM FRIENDS FAMILY.

NOT SLEEP ANYTHING MORE OR SLEEPING TOO MUCH.

ANY YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD.

THE BEST.

SO IT'S REALLY ABOUT NOTICING IF THERE'S BEEN A DRAMATIC CHANGE AND THEN TALKING TO THEM ABOUT THAT.

AND THERE ARE A LOT OF RESOURCES OUT THERE LIKE YOU SAID, THERE'S A WEBSITE CALLED HELP YOUR KEIKI FOR PARENTS THAT TALKS ABOUT THINGS TO LOOK FOR, WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN A THERAPIST, EXPECT OUT OF THERAPY, THINGS LIKE THAT.

9 88 GREAT RESOURCE.

IN TERMS OF CONNECTING YOU WITH WHAT IS IN YOUR COMMUNITY.

SO THERE REALLY IS HELP OUT THERE.

I THINK PEOPLE JUST HAVE TO TAKE THAT STEP, TAKE THAT STEP, ACKNOWLEDGE THAT MAYBE SOME THING IS NOT WHERE YOU WANT IT TO BE.

YOU'RE WORRIED.

AND LOOK FOR THE RESOURCES THAT ARE CLOSE TO YOU.

>> INTERESTING, ON THAT NOTE, CHILDREN AND TEENS WILL ALMOST ALWAYS TELL YOU WITHOUT TELLING YOU.

THEY'RE NOT GOING TO COME UP AND SAY IT.

IN MY OWN HEAD, ONE OF MY DAUGHTERS, RIGHT WHEN COVID STARTED, HER ROOM WAS BEIGE AND PINK.

BECAME GREEN AND BLACK.

AND THEN IT WAS CLEARLY DEPRESSION.

WE HAD TO GO ADDRESS THAT.

WHEN SHE WORKED THROUGH IT, THE ROOM BECAME BEIGE AND CREAM AGAIN.

IF I HADN'T PAID ATTENTION TO JUST ROOM DECOR, WOULD HAVE BEEN HARD TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON.

SO I THINK KIDS AND TEENS WILL TELL YOU WHAT THESE SIGNS, MESSAGES CAN BE VERY SUBTLE.

>> IT CAN LOOK REALLY HARD.

LIKE YOU SAY, SO SUBTLE.

NOT ONLY THAT, PARENTS WORKING TWO JOBS.

THEY'RE NOT AROUND.

THEY'RE STRESSED OUT.

GOING THROUGH THEIR OWN TYPES OF DEPRESSION.

THEIR KIDS ARE JUST FEEDING OFF OF.

THAT'S JUST ABSORBING ALL OF OUR, WE AS ADULTS ABSORBING ALL OF OUR STRESS.

WHATEVER THE STRESS IS.

ALL STRESS IS, SO I THINK GETTING INTO IT, IT NEEDS TO BE A HOLISTIC THING.

FAMILIES NEED TO START BEING FAMILIES AGAIN.

PEOPLE NEED TO START COMMUNICATING WITH PEOPLE.

FOR ME, THAT IS ALWAYS THE BEST WAY.

I KNOW IF I COME INTO THE HOUSE, AND I'M QUIET AND SHUT OFF, EVERYBODY ELSE IS GOING TO BE QUIET AND SHUT OFF.

IF I COME INTO THE HOUSE AN I'M JOVIAL AND HAPPY, HEY, LET'S GO, GET UP.

THEY'RE GOING TO WANT TO DO THAT AS WELL.

SO I GOING BACK TO IT, PARENTS NEED TO LOOK AT THEMSELVES.

WHAT ARE WE DOING TO OUR FAMILIES?

>> THAT'S A GOOD POINT.

BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN TOLD, OKAY, STOP FOCUSING ON ACHIEVEMENT.

THAT'S TWO DECADES.

FOCUS ON HAPPINESS.

CLEAR.

FOCUSING ON WHAT MAKES MY CHILD HAPPY IN THIS MOMENT DOESN'T BUILD RESILIENCE.

RESILIENCE IS ONE OF THOSE DEPRESSION BUSTERS.

MOM, DAD, I WANT TO SIT IN MY ROOM ALL DAY AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES.

WHAT'S GOING TO MAKE YOUR CHILD HAPPY?

WHAT IS GOING TO MAKE YOUR CHILD HAPPY AND RESILIENT LONGTERM?

SOCIAL CONNECTIONS, GETTING GOOD AT SOMETHING.

DURING COVID, WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY, JUST DO IT.

PLEASE.

AND NOW, WE'RE FEELING THE FALLOUT FROM THAT.

>> THE COMMUNICATION PART YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT, SO IMPORTANT, CAN BE SCARY FOR A LOT OF PARENTS LIKE, OH, I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT, THEY'RE GOING TO THINK I'M BEING WEIRD GET MAD AT ME, PUSH ME AWAY.

I DON'T WANT TO BE OVERBEARING EVERYBODY, DON'T WANT TO BE NOSEY, A LOT OF IDEAS THAT OUR HEAD THAT MIGHT STOP US FROM OPENING UP THAT LINE OF COMMUNICATION.

WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER IS THAT BY CHECKING IN, BY ASKING, YOU'RE COMMUNICATING A LOT OF IMPORTANT THINGS, EVEN IF YOU END UP BEING WRONG.

COMMUNICATING IMPORTANT THINGS.

EVEN IF YOU TOTALLY MISREAD IT, NOTHING GOING ON, COMMUNICATING THAT I SEE YOU, I CARE ABOUT YOU, I WORRY IF THINGS SEEM OFF, I'M HERE TO HELP YOU.

I AM SOMETHING SOMEBODY THAT YOU CAN TALK TO IF THINGS ARE GOING WRONG.

I THINK THE OTHER THING THAT SCARES PARENTS SOMETIMES IS WHAT IF I ASK A QUESTION AND THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THE ANSWER?

WHAT IF I GET AN ANSWER THAT IS SCARY OR THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX?

THAT CAN BE VERY SCARY AS A PARENT, WE LIKE TO FIX THINGS.

IT'S IMPORTANT TO JUST BE HONEST ABOUT THAT, THAT THAT IS, WOW, THAT IS REALLY SCARY.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GOING THROUGH THAT.

>> I'M NOT TOTALLY SURE WHAT TO DO.

WE'LL FIGURE THIS OUT TOGETHER.

CHECK OUT 988 AND SEE WHAT IS ON THERE.

LET'S TALK TO SO‑AND‑SO.

IT'S OKAY TO MODEL HOW YOU WOULD SOLVE THAT PROBLEM OR WHAT YOU WANT TO DO NEXT TO TRY TO SUPPORT THEM.

>> IF I CAN MAYBE ASK, THIS MAY BE LITTLE BIT PERSONAL QUESTION, HAVE YOUR PARENTS EVER MAYBE CHECKED IN IN A WAY THAT YOU FELT WAS REALLY VALUABLE OR MEANT A LOT TO YOU, MAYBE IT WAS A PEER CHECKED IN ON YOU.

CURIOUS TO HEAR FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE.

WHAT WORKED OR MEANT A LOT TO YOU.

>> DEFINITELY.

SO I KNOW COVID WAS A BIG THING.

KIND LIKE MY WHOLE FAMILY KIND OF CHECKED IN ON EACH OTHER A LOT BECAUSE LIKE, COVID WAS A BIG THING.

IT'S A BIG THING.

DON'T WANT TO SAY IT'S LIKE, YEAH, BIG THING THAT EVERYONE HAD TO DEAL WITH.

AND I FELT LIKE, YEAH, IN THAT MOMENT, FAMILIES KIND OF BECAME FAMILIES AGAIN.

LIKE IT WAS OBVIOUSLY A REALLY BAD THING, BUT IT KIND OF LIKE SHOWED PEOPLE LIKE BOTH SIDES OF LIKE GOING OUTSIDE OR LIKE JUST LIKE STAYING WITH YOUR FAMILY LIKE ALL THE TIME.

YEAH, AND I KNOW ME PERSONALLY, LIKE I REALLY TRIED TO CHECK UP ON ALL OF MY FRIENDS, LIKE AS MANY TIMES AS I CAN.

AND I KNOW MY FRIENDS CHECK UP ON ME AND LIKE, WHAT WE WERE SAYING EARLIER WAS IT'S THE WHOLE COMMUNITY COMING TOGETHER TO HELP EACH OTHER BECAUSE ONE PERSON LIKE, THEY CAN DO A LOT, BUT IF IT'S NOT BUNCH OF PEOPLE, THEN LIKE IT'S NOT REALLY AS IMPACTFUL AS COMMUNITY COMING TOGETHER TO HELP EACH OTHER AND OTHERS AT THE SAME TIME.

>> DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR PARENTS OUT THERE WHO ARE WATCHING ON MAYBE THE WORD CHOICE OR WHAT THEY CAN SAY TO CHECK IN ON THEIR KIDS?

>> YEAH.

SO I KNOW IT SOMETIMES VARIES DEPENDING ON THE CHILD OR FAMILY.

BUT HONESTLY, JUST THE BARE MINIMUM IS ALL YOU NEED.

JUST SAY, HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

THEN LETTING THEM KNOW THAT YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT THEIR ANSWER.

AND MAYBE IF YOUR KID JUST GIVES A ONE‑WORD ANSWER, LIKE KIND OF LIKE MAKE THEM, DON'T MAKE THEM, BUT LIKE, FORCE THEM.

>> YEAH, YEAH.

PUSH THEM TO KIND OF LIKE SAY MORE ABOUT SCHOOL, OR ABOUT THEIR ACTUAL DAY, AND THEN DEFINITELY LIKE WHAT ALL OF YOU WERE SAYING, ABOUT LIKE, LOOKING FOR THOSE LIKE, SUBTLE CHANGES CAN REALLY ALSO SHOW YOUR KID THAT YOU'RE PAYING ATTENTION TO THEM.

I WOULD SAY ANOTHER THING IS KEEP TRACK OF WHAT MAKES THEM HAPPY OR WHAT YOU THINK MAKES THEM HAPPY.

BECAUSE IT CAN BE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS AND SOME PARENTS THINK THAT THEY'RE HELPING THEIR KID WHEN THEY'RE ACTUALLY HURTING THEM.

AND THAT IS THE SAME WITH SPEECH CHALLENGES TOO.

BECAUSE A LOT OF PARENTS CAN THINK, OH, IF I TELL THEM TO RELAX AND SLOW DOWN, THEN IT WILL HELP.

WELL, NOT EXACTLY.

AND I THINK ALSO, LIKE BEFORE THE PARENTS LIKE PUT JUDGMENT INTO THEIR MINDS, THEY CAN LIKE REALLY GET TO KNOW WHAT THEIR CHILD IS GOING THROUGH.

AND EVEN THEY, THEMSELVES, CAN LEARN SOMETHING THROUGH THESE SITUATIONS.

>> WE HAVE A FEW MINUTES LEFT.

SOMEONE HAVE LAST FEW WORDS.

I HAVE TO READ THIS WONDERFUL COMMENT THAT VIEWER EMAILED IN.

NOT A QUESTION.

COMMENT FOR RAPHAEL.

IMPRESSIVE.

PLEASE LET HIM KNOW HE IS INSPIRING YOUTH AND VERY INSIGHTFUL.

HOPEFULLY HE WILL CONTINUE TO ADVOCATE FOR PEOPLE WITH DIFFERENCES.

ONE OF THE BEST PANELISTS OVER MANY INSIGHT SHOWS THAT HAVE BEEN PRESENTED.

>> OH, THANK YOU!

>> THAT'S AWESOME.

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO THAT VIEWER.

WISH THE VIEWER LEFT A NAME.

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

>> I THINK ALL OF US HERE DEFINITELY AGREES AS WELL.

AGAIN, JUST LAST FEW MINUTES HERE.

I WANT TO GIVE EVERYONE A CHANCE TO GO AROUND.

MAYBE ANY LAST THINGS THAT OUR PARENTS CAN LOOK FOR, NOT JUST PARENTS BUT EVEN FRIEND TO FRIEND, SOMETIMES IT'S EVEN THE FOLKS WHO ARE SMILEY AND WOULD SEEM LIKE THINK THEY HAVE ALL PUT TOGETHER THAT REALLY ARE STRUGGLING INSIDE.

>> THAT'S REALLY WELL SAID.

INTERESTING BECAUSE YOU WOULD THINK THE CHILD WHO IS ACTING OUT OR WHO IS COMING TO YOU SAYING THEY'RE SAD, ARE ONES YOU NEED TO WORRY ABOUT.

CHANCES ARE THEY HAVE A HANDLE ON SOME OF THEIR EMOTIONS AT LEAST ENOUGH TO COME AND COMMUNICATE WHAT'S HAPPENING.

FOR ME, THE CHILDREN WHO ARE AT MOST RISK ARE THE ONES WOULD ARE SELF‑ISOLATING, CUTTING, IN SECRET, MAYBE THEY'RE NOT THE ONES WHO ARE IN FRONT OF YOU GOING, I'M IN TROUBLE AND I'M STRUGGLING.

THEY'RE SILENT.

SO MAYBE IT'S TRUE.

WE DO NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO AS PARENTS AN EDUCATORS TO THESE VERY SUBTLE SIGNS THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG.

IT'S ALMOST NEVER THE CHILD SAYING, I'M HURTING, OUT LOUD.

IT'S THE CHILD WHO IS NOT SAYING IT AT ALL.

>> ANY ADVICE OR ANYTHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY TO OUR VIEWERS ON THAT?

I THINK PEOPLE, PARENTS, ESPECIALLY PARENTS SHOULD REINFORCE WITH THEIR KIDS HOW MUCH THEY LOVE THEM.

HOW MUCH THEY'RE PROUD OF THEM.

HOW MUCH THE GOOD THINGS.

REINFORCE GOOD THINGS AND REALLY STRIVE FOR THEM TO WANT TO MAKE YOU PROUD BECAUSE I THINK THE BEST THING A PARENT COULD DO, A CHILD COULD DO, IS TRY TO MAKE SOMEBODY PROUD.

BECAUSE THEN THEY'RE GOING TO WORK AS HARD AS THEY POSSIBLY CAN TO ACCOMPLISH WHATEVER THEY THAT IS WHOEVER THAT ONE PERSON IS.

SO WHETHER, LIKE YOU SAID, YOUR FRIEND, YOUR PARENTS, WHOEVER THAT PERSON IS, STRESS IF YOU HAVE A PERSON IN YOUR LIFE THAT IS FEELING SOME KIND OF WAY, GO OUT TO PUSH THEM TO BE PROUD OF SOMETHING WHATEVER THAT IS.

THAT IS WHAT I WOULD SAY.

PUSH PEOPLE TO BE PROUD.

>> HAVE A FEW MORE SECONDS.

>> REALLY LIKE WHAT YOU WERE SAYING AND I THINK THAT BIG THING IS JUST KEEPING IN MIND THAT YOUR CHILDREN HAVE A LIFE TOO.

AND JUST MAKING SURE THAT THEIR LIVES ARE GOING TO BE GREAT AND THE GREAT THAT THEY WANT THEIR LIVES TO BE.

>> VERY WELL SAID.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

RELATIONSHIPS ARE IMPORTANT.

TAKE CARE OF THEM.

TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER.

>> COMMUNITY.

CHECKING IN.

RIGHT?

EVEN SIMPLE THINGS MATTER.

>> THANK YOU ALL FOR JOINING US.

TOPIC THAT I THINK WE COULD PROBABLY RAMBLE ON AND DISCUSS FOR MANY MORE HOURS.

SUCH AN IMPORTANT TOPIC.

MAHALO TO YOU FOR JOINING US TONIGHT, AND WE THANK OUR GUESTS: KELI ACQUARO FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH, 16‑YEAR OLD RAPHAEL STARK, LAWAIA NAIHE OF THE HOAKEOLAPONO TRADES ACADEMY AND INSTITUTE, AND LICENSED THERAPIST BRITT YOUNG.

NEXT WEEK ON INSIGHTS, IT’S A WRAP FOR THIS YEAR’S LEGISLATIVE SESSION.

WE’LL HEAR FROM STATE LAWMAKERS AND COMMUNITY WATCH DOGS TO GO OVER WHAT EXACTLY THEY DID AND HOW IT WILL BENEFIT HAWAII RESIDENTS.

PLEASE JOIN US THEN.

I’M LAUREN DAY FOR INSIGHTS ON PBS HAWAI`I.

ALOHA!

¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶