Announcer: Coming up on The Whitney Reynolds Show... We tend to emphasize on our achievements and our accomplishments.

However, we don't really tend to talk about what made us who we are.

Forgiveness is key and having peace.

So, for me, why I didn't want to turn it into pain is because I didn't want to let someone have control over my life.

All right, you've kind of mentally written your obituary, but you also should probably write a bucket list.

Announcer: The Whitney Reynolds Show is funded by Yates Protect, a minority owned business focused on protecting communities and providing solutions to safety problems for public and private institutions, including air purification, metal detectors, thermal detection, and more; Together at Peace: a community lifting you from coping to hoping; O'Connor Law Firm: when it comes to your injuries, we take it personally.

Xtreme Xperience: making the world's supercars accessible, so you can experience being in the driver's seat on the race tracks and back roads of our country; Theraderm Clinical Skincare: committed to developing skin care products designed to restore skin health and promote natural beauty.

And by 10 West Real Estate Group, UFC Gym Lakeview, Ella's Bubbles, Hi-Five Sport Chicago, Fresh Dental, Kevin Kelly Real Estate Agent, Concierge Aesthetics & Plastic Surgery, Deluxe Cleaning Services, Mid-West Moving & Storage, TuTu School Chicago, Goldfish Swim School Roscoe Village, and by these funders: Rising up.

Today's guests have been greeted by challenges, but looked them in the eye and actually used those challenges as stepping stones.

[opening theme music] Whitney: Changing the outcome and saving lives.

That's the mission of our next guest.

After losing both of her older brothers at a young age to gun violence, Aaliya decided to take charge.

She is just over 20 years old and making a positive impact, shedding light to those around her and encouraging a shift in the community.

Welcome to the show.

Thank you for having me.

Can you take us back to the day that your first brother passed away?

Yes, so my brother was a sneakerhead.

So it was a pair of cool gym-shoes coming out and he really wanted them.

So he asked my mom like, "Hey, can I get the car?"

She's like, "No, I'm going to cook breakfast and then we can go to the mall."

After breakfast is done, we eat and settle in.

So, we went to the mall.

My brother went in the store.

He was taking all day, so my mom called in the store because one of his friends worked at the store.

So she called like, "Hey, you better tell him to come outside."

And so, he came outside and he was like, "I'm going to stay here with my friends."

And my mom told him, "Don't let your friends get you in trouble."

It was a holiday weekend tournament that they have at a high school out there.

So it was a basketball tournament.

They go to the tournament then they go to the teen club.

His friends got into a fight.

And so, they met up at a gas station and the guys followed them there.

And my brother got out of the car to break up a fight between his friends and the other people and the young man shot into the crowd.

And four people were shot, but my brother was the only one that died.

So my brother Anthony was killed in November of 2007 and my brother James was killed in March of 2014.

So about seven years.

[Whitney gasps] And so you not only lost two of your brothers but you saw all that other loss.

Aaliya: Yes.

Whitney: Again, some people take their pain and they create more pain.

What is it behind you that you want to create change?

I think that just because of the personalities of my brothers.

The young man that killed my brother Anthony was 15 years old.

I was 15 once, so I've held conversations with him.

Forgiveness is key and having peace.

So, for me, why I didn't want to turn it into pain is because I didn't want to let someone have control over my life.

I think often times when people do things to you and you let them, you know, dictate how you feel, they walk in the room, youre atmosphere and your energy changes, they have control over you.

And so, I felt like they had already killed my brother, so why would I let them have that well-being over me?

Did you know that something had to be done because you'd seen death after death after death?

Yes.

For me, the center came about in 2019.

So before the center, we started our nonprofit in December of 2014.

We got incorporated in November of 2015 to be an actual nonprofit.

We started by doing scholarships.

So for my freshman year to my senior year of high school, I gave away six scholarships to seniors graduating from the high school that I attended and both of my brothers attended in their names.

So we started off by just scholarships and doing giveaways.

The center came about because I couldn't find a facility in the city of Gary that was free for kids to come and be able to have creative arts and have different things to help them channel the trauma that they were going through.

Explain to the viewers what your city is like in the current day.

Gary is full of hidden gems.

So, it's all about finding and getting those resources back and rising up as generation Z and just doing what we need to do to get that back into our city and bringing out those hidden gems.

A lot of the kids have a lot of potential.

They just need someone like me to pull it out of them.

Well, that's what's interesting is, you're talking about your city and when you say hidden gems you think of buildings, but then you also think of the kids and the hidden gems that are inside them, the dreams and the goals, and you're kind of creating both of these through combining those.

Aaliya: Yes.

What else is next for you?

I would say just opening up other facilities.

Going to different cities like Detroit, Flint, Alabama, just different states, and building facilities where there's a need, where they're lacking just like the city of Gary and building partnerships.

We're actually starting a nonprofit called I Am Them Gives.

So, we're working on that initiative now.

So, just building better centers and building more facilities and helping more children.

And what would you say to your brothers if they were still living?

That I love them dearly.

If they were still here, I feel my life would be different and I would be a spoiled brat and I probably wouldn't know my "why."

But their deaths were a sacrifice for me to be the greatest that I could be.

So, I'm thankful, and I still feel them with me.

So, I still tell them that I love them and I appreciate them and I pray that they continue to guide me along with God.

[theme music] Well, thank you so much for coming on.

Thank you for having me.

My life took a very dramatic, very sudden and dramatic turn for the worst.

Whitney: Victoria Arlen has an impressive resume as a TV personality, a gold medalist, a speaker and an author.

However, when Victoria was 11, it was uncertain she would even live.

I developed two incredibly rare neurological conditions and got very sick very quickly.

And so I went from being this completely healthy 11-year-old to a complete vegetable.

I was aware through most of it.

So I was what they call, locked in.

I could see and here everything, I just couldn't communicate it.

I was like, alright, you've kind of mentally written your obituary, but you also should probably write a bucket list because what if... what if we think about what you're going to do when you come out of this?

The more I thought about living and the more I thought about things that I wanted to do the easier it was.

In like, one of the darkest times, I started to just list things I was grateful for in my head, and people were just like, "What?

What do you have to be grateful for?"

And I'm like, "Well, I'm alive still."

You know what I mean?

And yeah that's scraping the bottom of the barrel, but it was a start.

I knew I had to really shift gears pretty quickly to make sure that if I'm going to fight this, I need to give it all that I have.

Whitney: Against all odds, and after four years in a vegetative state, Victoria started communicating again.

Victoria: The dying part seemed to be easier than the actual living part because there wasn't a positive prognosis of what that would look like.

So even as I started to come out of the vegetative state they were very much like, "There's damage.

"There's this.

"She won't be independent.

She won't she won't be functioning in society," And I kept proving them wrong.

And relearning how to talk was a whole thing.

Relearning how to sit up.

Relearning how to hold my head up.

Relearning how to move every single finger.

There were so many different things and it just seemed like this huge mountain, but I was also like but I have a chance now to climb it.

Whitney: And after 10 years of being paralyzed, Victoria was learning how to move again.

This led her to winning the gold in the Paralympic games.

She got a job on television and started her own foundation, one that is dedicated to helping people in positions like the one she was in.

I've been out of the vegetative state for 11 years now and in that 11 years what I've been able to do, but I think the biggest thing is, I've been able to really use my platform to remind people there's no such thing as a lost cause.

You have no idea when you're going through something what you're going through is actually preparing you for something greater.

[theme music] Our next guest has mastered the word "No."

He's taken the letters and flipped them around and made it game-on.

Life is not without its struggles.

Being able to fall and pick yourself back up is a big part of personal growth, and nobody knows that better than our next guest.

Despite his esteemed credentials, he has seen the face of failure many times, but he refuses to give up.

Welcome to the show.

Thank you for having me, Whitney.

So, you speak on rejection.

Why?

Well, people don't talk about it.

That's that's why.

When I first started writing a book, I noticed that on social media people oftentimes highlight their highlights.

They show their highlights and how important and how they are, and they don't talk about how they got there.

And every successful person I know has a rejection story, so lo and behold, I just wrote that book The Perfect Rejection Resume.

It's interesting because you are right.

Everybody does have a rejection story.

And why do you think we don't lead with that?

Well, part of the reason why we don't lead with that is because our failures, we tend to get embarrassed by talking about our failures.

And we always-- we're prime to say you know what?

We can't worry about failing.

We can't worry about the negative things that happen in life.

And I want to highlight that.

I want to showcase the fact that you can turn your L's into lessons.

And notice that the letters like M and W, like millionaires and winners, come after L's, loses.

So that's why.

Did you ever get called a loser?

Like, how'd you come up with that concept?

Yeah, well, I've always been called a loser and I took it in, I internalized that, and I started thinking, you know what?

I'll use that as my lesson instead of a loser, and then turn that into what's next, Whitney.

Well, you mentioned your childhood.

Take us back to some of those stories of rejection.

So I used to play basketball.

I used to play basketball.

I used to run track.

I was so active in athletics.

However, the coach would tell me, and they were being honest, "Hey, you may not be that the guy for us."

I've gotten cut from varsity teams.

I've gotten cut in other athletic programs.

It's like, you know what?

I'm okay.

I'll take that, but I'll get better and better.

And with that being said I just, you know, tend to thrive.

And it may not be in athletics.

It may be beyond athletics.

I know that once that ball stops dropping and dribbling, I should be fine going forward as well.

Well, and that's just your childhood.

You actually-- How many rejections did you get in to college?

[deep sigh] Twenty-five.

Over 25.

Whitney: Okay.

Undergraduate.

But your story doesn't stop there.

That's what's interesting is, you know, you tell being a kid and turning that letter, so you must have had this kind of ingrained in you.

But then it kind of led you and became this light into this college rejection time.

Tell us about that.

So when I was applying for colleges my dream job, my dream institution to get into was at Columbia.

How ironic I'm teaching at Columbia right now.

But I applied there in 2011.

And I remember I was on the bus waiting for that decision.

And when I got the decision, I noticed that I was rejected.

I took that, I put it in a wall and I said, "Okay, you know what?

"One day six years from now or five years-- "It may not be this year.

"It may not be next year.

But one day I'll end up on Columbia University's campus."

And lo and behold, five, six years later I am the associate faculty there.

Would you call that putting it out there in the universe?

Some people say I am visioning, I am-- Do you believe in that?

Yes, vision boards, right?

When we look at vision boards, we look at objectives and goals.

We tend to go after that.

Rent is due every day.

Whitney: Ooh, that's good.

Eli: And the landlord that you're paying is your goals, your objectives, your vision.

So when I say that rent is due every day, you always have to work hard every single day to make sure that you're paying your dues.

And when I think of your currency, when we think of paying off our rent, our money is our currency.

However, our efforts and our ethics are our currency.

So, if you're putting in that effort and you fail, you still paid off that rent.

Let's talk about your "yes" that changed your life because I know we've been talking about the "no's", the rejection.

You finally get the yes.

How did you use that?

So I got the "yes" when I was 24 years old.

When I was 24 years old, I received my doctorate from a small school that accepted me.

The small school was named Felician University within the school of Business Administration.

I got my doctorate degree in finance.

So, that was my "yes" that pushed me forward.

Now, the reason why that year is very important is because that was the same year that I was accepted as an associate faculty at Columbia University.

Now I'm starting to pick up momentum.

I'm starting to utilize that framework as far as taking on that trip and moving forward, failing forward as well.

Failing forward.

So, that first "yes" was my first time getting called Dr. Eli Joseph.

Oh, that had to be one of those moments for you.

Eli: I felt like a champion.

Yes, and now you speak to this regularly.

You tell people to keep going even through the rejection.

You call it almost a succession through the rejection.

Yes.

I even have a rejection resume.

Okay, tell me about that.

So, a rejection resume is basically a document that highlights your lowlights.

More like a resume, we tend to emphasize on our achievements and our accomplishments.

However, we don't really tend to talk about what made us who we are.

So a rejection resume is basically a list of how many schools that rejected you, the time that you got fired, the time that you were rejected by an organization or institution.

So, that's compiled all in one document and it can actually help you get the job in the future believe it or not.

I don't send it out to the employers or the institutions that I want to be employed by.

However, I share it on social media to say, "Hey, look, I have accomplished what I need to accomplish, "but you guys need to take a look at my rejection resume to see where I come from."

And lo and behold, one time I shared that rejection resume, and he looked at the rejection resume and he realized that I've applied to that institution over 500 times.

And he said, "To be honest, Eli, I kind of regret not bringing you on the team.

Wow, that is a full circle moment at its finest.

Well, thank you so much for coming on.

We always say people need to own their stories and for our show, we believe that the tough moments are building up that strength to get us really where we're supposed to go.

Thank you so much for sharing my story, Whitney.

I really appreciate you.

[theme music] Whitney: Darrell Alston is the CEO of Bungee Obleceni, a luxury sneaker line.

And similar to the name Bungee, his life's journey has also taken him through a series of ups and downs.

You know, it's been a dark, dark, bungee-type ride.

You know, I used to sell marijuana and I used to sell cocaine.

Those are the two things that I used to sell.

I saw my aunts and uncles do drugs.

And then I go to school and the kids that I go to school with that or in the suburban area, majority not black, and I see them doing it.

I never did drugs before.

I never tried it.

I never drank.

I never did anything before.

But I looked at it like, well, everyone is doing it.

I had no clue that when I get caught that I'm going to have to do all this jail time when it's something that's so normal to people.

I had no reason to have to resort to the streets, so I don't want anyone to think like, "Oh, he was in a situation.

He was poor."

I lived in a middle class neighborhood.

There was no reason for me to do it.

Whitney: Darrell would go on to spend six and a half years behind bars and he planned to sell once his time was over.

However, it was a fateful phone call with his mother that changed his life.

Darrell: I was probably incarcerated for about three years and I had a conversation with my mom on the phone.

When I talked to her she said, "You really have to focus on what you're going to do "when you get out "because they're doing background checks "and you're not going to be able to find a job.

"So you're going to have to create your own business in order for you to survive out here."

I went back to the cell and I remember her crying.

It really affected me so I prayed.

A couple hours after that something told me to pick up my pencil and I just started sketching.

And I never in my life sketched before ever.

And the very first sketch that I did, it looked like it was a shoe laying on a piece of paper.

And from that point, I think I sketched about 200 pair of sneakers.

When I came out of prison three years later, I had at least 1,500 sketches.

Whitney: Out of prison, Darrell pursued his shoe line and with one chance encounter and several years of working hard, Darrell was able to get a meeting with investors.

The first question that one of the people asked, was they were like, "Would you be interested in telling your story if we got behind you on this?"

And I was like, "No.

"I don't want people knowing I was incarcerated.

No, I don't want to talk about it."

And they were like, "We really think that you should share your story because a lot of people can take something from your story."

So I thought about it and within 30 seconds I said, "Yeah, I'll tell it if you guys are going to help me."

Shortly after I get the space, before I even got a chance to even get furniture in it, I get the announcement saying we have to shut down.

COVID's here.

So for the whole first year of COVID, I would come into my office by myself and just create because I knew that after the lease was up that we were no longer going to be in business anymore.

After that happened that, one of the lead investors says, "Well, we know that you've been there for about a year.

Is there a way that we can just come down just to see the space before, you know, everything gets shut down?"

"And I was like, "Yeah."

So they come down and look at the space.

They look at everything I've created.

And the lead investor says, "There's no way that I can walk away from this and not let the people see what you've created.

Whitney: Darrell's story and his company is a reminder that sometimes when the going gets hard, we must bungee back up.

Darrell: Everything that I experienced in my past.

I had to make sure that I didn't give up because I knew that I had no other options.

I'm so happy to be here and I'm appreciative of being here and I just hope people appreciate my craft because it's a art that I had to fight and struggle for to get.

Whitney: Ally Brooke plays Sophia in the film "High Expectations," a movie about a soccer player with one last shot at accomplishing his dream.

Throughout the film she encourages the main actor to not only score goals on the field, but go after dreams and goals in real life.

My character, she's someone who is not willing to give up and I loved that about her.

And she knows when to be strong and when to say no.

She follows her instincts and I love that about her.

And being able to kind of put it all together with her and in her and through her was just-- Oh, it was amazing.

You know, I try to be a light and I really saw that in her.

I've been through a lot and I've kind of experienced a lot and to kind of pull from all of that and then be who I am now is something that I love.

And I try to be to be that light because it really means so much to me to be able to be that for for others.

Whitney: Similar to the film, Ally has a history of pursuing her own dreams.

Previously a member of the musical group Fifth Harmony, Ally is now pursuing an acting career.

There was a point where I really was kind of-- I had kind of lost control.

Kind of was at a rock bottom point.

And being there and not feeling seen and really kind of being in that to now just having what I have, letting that light back in.

Whitney: She hopes her performance inspires audiences to rise up and chase their own dreams.

You can be who you want to be and there's so much ahead.

There's so much ahead for you.

That's what I want them to experience and to be moved by.

The beautiful thing with today's topic is, no matter where you are, you can keep rising up.

Remember, your story matters.

[theme music] Announcer: The Whitney Reynolds Show is funded by Yates Protect, a minority owned business focused on protecting communities and providing solutions to safety problems for public and private institutions, including air purification, metal detectors, thermal detection, and more; Together at Peace: a community lifting you from coping to hoping; O'Connor Law Firm: when it comes to your injuries, we take it personally.

Xtreme Xperience: making the world's supercars accessible, so you can experience being in the driver's seat on the race tracks and back roads of our country; Theraderm Clinical Skin Care: committed to developing skin care products designed to restore skin health and promote natural beauty.

And by 10 West Real Estate Group, UFC Gym Lakeview, Ella's Bubbles, Hi-Five Sport Chicago, Fresh Dental, Kevin Kelly Real Estate Agent, Concierge Aesthetics & Plastic Surgery, Deluxe Cleaning Services, Mid-West Moving & Storage, TuTu School Chicago, Goldfish Swim School Roscoe Village, and by these funders: Announcer: For more information on today's program visit www.whitneyreynolds.com or get social with us.

Facebook: @WhitneyReynoldsShow Twitter: @whitneyreynolds or on TikTok and Instagram: @whitneyó_reynolds.

Kids: Our mommy!