- It's been proven that Black male representation is vital for challenging stereotypes, empowering individuals, and breaking systemic barriers.

Join us as we sit down and talk all things fatherhood with three community leaders and learn more about their work that not only impacts their families but work that's making significant contributions to men's health and the economy.

Coming right up on "Black Issues Forum."

- [Announcer] "Black Issues Forum" is a production of PBS North Carolina with support from the Z. Smith Reynolds Foundation.

Quality public television is made possible through the financial contributions of viewers like you, who invite you to join them in supporting PBS NC.

[upbeat music] ♪ - Welcome to "Black Issues Forum."

I'm Kenia Thompson.

Decades of research show over and over again that Black dads matter and are in fact needed for our community to be the safest, the healthiest, and the most brilliant that it can be.

Today we have three powerful men who are not only fathers, but community leaders and health advocates as well.

And I'm excited to be here in the studio at the same table with our guests.

So let's welcome the assistant director of Community Outreach, Engagement, and Equity at Duke Cancer Institute, Dr. Angelo Moore, owner of the Jones's Tree Removal Service, Damon Jones, and the owner of F7 International Development, James Montague.

welcome to the show.

- Thank you.

- I'm so happy we're here at the same table.

We get to have such an important conversation that's much needed.

- Absolutely.

- So before we dive into this discussion, though, I wanna make sure that we share with you a look at what it means to be a father and hear what these men had to say about the journey.

- Me having my father growing up, I was protected, chastised, disciplined.

And even growing up, I didn't understand a lot of things that my dad did, but as I became older, it was a great thing.

It was great for me when I had my firstborn son Keon, but when I look at it, truthfully, I wasn't mentally prepared to be a father.

And I knew I had to change some of my ways that I actually struggled with.

- Growing up in a single-parent household, at the time, it wasn't different to me.

Everybody that I knew that I was growing up with in South Gate in the projects, they were also single-parent households.

Major quality that I got from my mother, having a heart to look out for the community, and I try to put that across in all of the developments that we do.

When I had my first child, it was is a wake-up call 'cause before you have your first child, you're a kid yourself.

You don't understand most things about parenting.

It was like, "Hold on, this thing is real."

And I also have not only a mouth to feed, but I have a mind to feed as well.

- A lot of times we really don't appreciate your father and your mother.

I knew my father loved me, but, you know, they didn't always say it.

And especially in the African American community, we don't necessarily talk about, you know, how we feel about each other, how we love each other.

We don't use those words a lot, you know, which I'm trying to change that with my kids to tell them I love them.

- So that was a great piece.

That kind of shows a little bit about who you guys are as a father, but I wanna hear from each of you, what does it mean to be a dad?

Dr. Angelo, starting with you first.

- Yes, being a dad is, it's scary, you know?

It's a whole new different role.

Like I said, beginning of your life, it's just you.

And now, all of a sudden, you're responsible for someone else, you know?

But it's really a lot of joy and excitement, a lot of responsibility.

But, you know, I think about my legacy.

What do I want my kids to know about me?

What they gonna say about me?

So it's really a huge responsibility.

- Yeah.

Damon.

- Absolutely.

For me, it's being a great provider, protector, and praying for my family every day.

And far as when I think about my image as a father being shaped, I have to give that credit to my dad, his discipline, his words.

And also some of the experiences and things that I've been through helped shape who I am today.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Yes.

- Last but not least.

- Well, I mean, being a father and understanding that everything you do is being watched by your kids.

You can talk all you want, but they're gonna watch your actions.

They're gonna try to emulate what you do, not necessarily what you say.

So that's important, and it's vital that we know that and understand it and that we act accordingly.

- Yeah, yeah.

Damon, you just shared with us this morning that you became a grandfather for the second time just last night.

- Absolutely, yes, a granddaughter.

So, it's new to me.

- [Kenia] Yeah, yeah.

- It's different.

I'm ready.

I'm ready.

I'm prepared.

- Well, let's talk about what that generational example looks like when we talk about fatherhood and representation within our Black families.

What does that representation look like for the generations ahead?

I'll start with you, James, and then we'll go down the row.

- What does that look like for the generations ahead?

You know, it's gonna be what we make it look like.

We have to understand that what we do and what we bring across in our families is what we set across to be.

It's not like what's on the outside.

It's what's on the inside that comes out, so whatever we want it to be.

And if we want great results, we have to plant great seeds and feed positive energy into the family and encourage the kids, encourage the young parents.

I myself, I've got six kids and 10 grandkids.

- [Kenia] Wow.

- So I've gotta be very careful about what I say and the things that I do.

- Yeah.

- Yes.

- I wanna add a little bit to that question, Damon.

What do you think is missing from the representation that we need in - within our black families?

- What's missing?

I would say fathers.

I would say men imitating, like Mr. James was saying, we are missing that imitation, that role model and really just being present, you know, in our kids' lives and not just giving orders, but listening.

You know, being there for them.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

That's when I think about.

- Dr. Moore, Anything to add there?

- Yeah, I would say we to strive to be dads.

You know, father, you know, you could be a biological father or not biological father is that relationship.

But Dad tells you about the relationship that you have with your kids.

You know, very different.

It takes time, it takes energy, it takes sacrifice, it takes understanding that the family is a unit and I'm the leader of the family.

I'm providing safety, support.

We need to make sure our finances are together.

You know, all those things are important to make sure that we have our generation.

We learned from the past, we cannot forget about the past, but we have to use those as lessons learned.

Sometimes we have to learn something different.

- [Host] Yeah.

- Or do something different.

Just because we've seen it, we've grown up in an environment, when we realize that, that's not the best way to do it, we need to make the correction.

And that's why it's really important for men to be around other men.

- James, what are some things do you think our society is missing when it comes to supporting our black fathers?

- Just the importance of the emphasis of the importance on being a father and being there for your family.

Listening, having a heart to understand and remember when we were young 'cause right now, you know, we see things, oh, that's crazy.

But you gotta think about it.

When you were the age of your kids, you know, how did you feel?

You know, what did you encounter on a day-to-day basis?

The problems that they have today, we didn't have some of these problems.

- [Host] Yeah.

- You know, these problems are very big and they're very systematic, and we just have to have a understanding heart.

- Yeah.

Damon, just share with me real quick, what was probably your most favorite Father's Day gift that you've ever received?

- For me, it was probably the fact years ago after being released from incarceration, I remember my first Father's Day being home as a free man and waking up and my son there with me, and I'm able to embrace that.

So for me, that was everything.

- [Host] Yeah.

- It really wasn't about, you know, any tangible gift or anything.

It was just being present.

- Yeah.

- And being with my son.

- Those memories.

- [Damon] Absolutely.

- Yeah.

- [Damon] Yeah.

- That's beautiful.

Well, since the pandemic, we've seen a significant increase in business ownership, especially within the black community.

More than half of those black business owners are men.

Let's take a look real quick at our panel's roles as businessmen and learn more about their why.

- I developed the mindset of being an entrepreneur when I was about 14 years old when I started cutting hair, like in my mom's kitchen and charging 50 cents ahead.

So I started early.

It taught me independence and how to use what I have to get to the next level, and to learn how to leverage that to get to the next level, and leverage that to get to the next level.

What I normally tell young folks when they come to me and say they wanna be an entrepreneur or you know, man, that's nice.

Or What are you doing?

Or how did you get to where you are?

I try to tell them a few things.

Number one is, you are the five people that you hang around.

So if you want to be a positive, progressive person, don't hang around lazy people that are not really going anywhere.

- [Damon] I did a lot of things, construction, pipe layer, working with other tree companies.

When I work, I work hard.

So I had got to a place where I was getting older, you know?

I went from climbing 10 trees a day to maybe three.

I began to sit down and realize with the youth that I have remaining, I need to just kind of really put that energy into building something for my kids in our name.

And it wasn't always easy.

- So, growing up, my father was an entrepreneur.

He worked, he actually has a, he makes false teeth.

Very few African American men that own a dental laboratory.

I learned that as a youth, as a teenager, but that's not what I'm wanna do for the rest of my life.

I love helping people.

So in a profession where you can help people, it was just a natural fit for me to get into healthcare.

- [Staff] Think they don't understand?

- Dr. Moore, when did you learn, at what point in your life, in your career, that healthcare was the path for you?

- I've always been in healthcare, dental healthcare, but not knowing it, you know?

And being around people who see things in you you cannot see in yourself, you kind of trust them and you will find your path.

You know, I didn't veer off from far from it.

You know, it's the thing that it's, but the thing that brings you joy, excitement, and just ability of helping people.

That's just who I am.

- [Host] Yeah.

So it was always in your blood?

- Always in my blood.

- You said your dad was in dental work?

- Yes.

- Yeah.

- He made false teeth.

- Yeah.

- You know, which health begins with your teeth.

- It does.

It does.

Damon, you shared a little bit of your past before with being incarcerated, and talk about what that journey was like when you decided you wanna be an entrepreneur, and who helped influence that direction for you?

- I would say my brother, my older brother and my dad.

- Yeah.

- My dad was always an entrepreneur and I seen it growing up, and, of course, my brother.

At one point, he was doing like landscaping, and so I was always in that field, in that area.

But for me, it was probably in the early 2000s when I started working with a tree company, small tree company in the area.

And I began to feel good.

- Yeah.

- I began, you know, it gave me, that field gave me something that construction didn't give me.

- Yeah.

- You know, I had peace.

I felt like I just knew this is where I belong and I was naturally good at learning how to climb trees, you know and it was easy.

I had a passion for it.

So when I discovered that, when I felt that, I stayed with it.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah.

James, there's a lot of fear right, when we branch out on our own and doing the kind of work that you do in development and real estate.

Talk about maybe some of the fears that you felt early on and how did you overcome them if you experienced them?

- Oh, definitely.

I mean, you have the fear of basically looking like an idiot, you know?

Especially when you step out in business by yourself.

I started, like I said, when I was 14 years old.

- Wow.

- I was always, I was told that I wasn't gonna be much in life by my guidance counselor in high school when I first got to my high school.

So, you know, the fear was that I would always be in the same spot.

So what I did was I just started taking chances and I started being encouraged in every little win.

Gave me more power to move to the next level.

- Yeah.

- That's why I'm very passionate now about how I speak to young people when they talk to me.

They come and ask some of the ideas that they have and say what do you think about this?

I never tell them it's impossible.

I always tell them it's possible, you know.

I try to encourage them and feed them positivity.

- Yeah, that's great.

Dr. Moore, you know, in the health profession, we do see a lot of minorities, but I don't know that we always see minorities in leadership roles in health.

Talk about what it's like having that positioning as a black male leader in health.

- Yeah, it's really important for people to see us.

- Yeah.

- You know, and it's lonely, you know, being the only one in the room, the only one at the table and a lot of times you have to speak for certain populations, you know, it's my life experience, you know, you cannot tell me how you think I grew up or how this population feels or how we interact.

So it's really important for us to be at the table.

We put, sometimes people put us on a pedestal 'cause a lot of times we're the first in our family to do certain things, you know?

But, you know, I look at it as motivation.

If they did it, I can do it.

And I know it's important for others behind me to see me.

- Yeah, Damon, what would you say was one of your hardest challenges when you were pulling that business together?

When you realized that tree removal was your passion?

What would you say was your biggest challenge?

- Probably for me, getting people to trust my vision and gimme a chance and just believe that it's going to work, you know?

And not having the support that I, well I guess when I look at it now, I guess it's a blessing that I didn't get the support that I desired at that time.

So I think that was one of the biggest challenges, just not having people to support me.

- James, in your space of development and real estate, would you say there's enough representation of black men who were doing the work that you're doing?

- Definitely not.

- Yeah.

Why do you think that is?

- It is because for a long time, you know, we've been told that we could not achieve and do things and even in our own communities, people tell us that you know, it's not good for you to have too much or to do too much, but honestly, that's not the case.

There's enough to go around for everybody, especially when we work together and in tandem and, collaborate.

So, no, there's definitely not enough representation.

- Yeah.

- And that's why we try to groom people to work with us, to partner, to do apprenticeships and to just create more opportunities for folks.

- Yeah, last question in this segment, Dr. Moore, if there's someone out there that's kind of challenged of starting something in their own field as a black man, what are some suggestions or words of encouragement you would give them?

- Always be positive.

Find a mentor.

You know, you need somebody to encourage you.

You need somebody who has done what you're trying to do.

Don't listen to people that have not achieved what you're trying to achieve 'cause they can't help you.

They haven't been there.

So that's the advice I would give individuals.

- Great words of wisdom.

Constant work in looking after our families sometimes have us putting our own wellbeing aside.

There are many disparities that face black men but health concerns are rising and the importance of regular health screenings continue to be emphasized.

- Oh, it's really important to offer free screening for men because it is very difficult, it's challenging for men to come in to get healthcare.

And I tell people there's a big difference between women and men when it comes to health.

For men, we grow up, you know, as boys, be tough.

Don't cry, don't ask for help, don't ask for directions, you know?

And so some men have a challenge of looking or seeking help.

And so that is a negative when it comes to our healthcare and I can speak specifically for African American men.

The number one cancer that killed black men or African American men is prostate cancer.

We're diagnosed at an earlier age.

We are twice as likely to die from prostate cancer than any other population.

It's the worst disparity when it comes to black men.

- I want to get there.

I wanna be there and get the screening.

I live all the way in Apex, but it was convenient for me to drive out here to it.

A lot of people pass away because they don't, so I'm willing to go and be screened and be tested and whatever I have to do to survive.

- For me, it's been very important for me to actually get early detection, early screenings, you know to help me with whatever's going on in my body.

- [Dr. Moore] It's really important for men to really stop and take care of yourself.

'Cause we need to be here for our wives, our daughters, our kids, our grandkids.

- Dr. Moore, so much to unpack there.

You mentioned prostate cancer being one of the leading cause or causes of death in black men.

Talk about what leads to that lack of understanding and awareness, and how are you working to dismantle that?

- Yes, some of it is fear.

We have a healthcare system that's really disjointed.

A lot of people get lost it.

A lot of people don't understand how to navigate the healthcare system.

And so when you have men have not had any type of care for a while, it's hard and it's very intimidating going to that system.

And so it's very important that we learn and understand what are some health conditions that impact us the most.

Those like prostate cancer, colon cancer, lung cancer, heart disease, those things are important.

You need to know your family history.

Those things that have gone on in your family, you need to make sure that you're watching for those things to make sure you stay ahead of it.

But we need to get over the fear.

We need to understand that we need to be healthy for our families.

You know, a little bit of discomfort is okay.

It could save our life.

- Yeah - Yeah.

- Speaking of saving lives, James, you had a health scare some time ago.

Share with us that health scare and how that inspired you in your business.

- Sure.

Well, when I was 26 years old, you know everything was going well when I first started my own business.

Started at 19, actually officially having my first business, worked until I was 26 and actually had a stroke when I was 26 years old.

And that came from, not, like Dr. Moore said, not taking care of myself, the way that I ate, the way that I worked, you know, working seven days a week, you know, 15, 16 hours a day.

It's not healthy.

So I had to understand balance.

So I had to change everything about the way I think, the way I act, the way I talk, you know, even the thoughts that I have.

So I had to find balance and which led me to naming my company from Monty's Holding Company to F7, which stands for Faith in Action.

I had to understand that, you know you can't have faith and fear at the same time.

A lot of times people try to kind of mingle those things together.

Say, well, I've got faith today and fear tomorrow.

No.

Either you have faith or you have fear.

They can't exist at the same time, at the same space.

And what it, when you try to put those things together, it creates havoc in your life.

So that's why I do things I do, in the manner that I do 'em.

- Yeah.

Well, I'm glad you're here today to tell - [James] Thank you.

- And share that, right?

So, Damon, when you hear that story, I'm hearing, you know, stress, he mentioned it, a lot of work overload.

What ways do you find balancing fatherhood with entrepreneurship and then finding time for yourself?

What are the some things that you do?

- Well, to be totally honest with you, I'm still, you know right now, I'm learning that it is important.

And I'm getting to a place where I'm actually learning how to balance that.

Because there are times where I just go, go, go.

You know?

And like Mr. James was saying, it's important and I'm seeking that right now.

I'm seeking that balance.

- That's great.

- Yeah.

Dr. Moore, share with them and share with us what are some of those ways to have a good work-life balance so that we can avoid a stroke at an early age or other things.

- I think family is very important to help you get balance.

Balance is always a challenge, especially if you have a work ethic that you want to do things.

Getting your healthcare in order.

It's important to see somebody on a regular basis to make sure that you help maintain balance.

You eating, you wanna make sure that you have a tight circle around you.

You know, friends that, you know don't tell you what you want to hear, but they tell you what you need to hear.

You know, you need to slow down.

You need to do this.

So it's all, it is important.

And spirituality is really important.

You know, helps you keep balance, you know?

Lets you know those things are important.

You know, it's a higher being that help guide us, help us our fear, you know, but all those things are important.

- Yeah.

James, how are you passing down that wisdom?

You said you have six kids?

- Six.

- 10 grandchildren?

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- So knowing the things that you've gone through health wise and then being a father, being that leader, how are you passing down some of this wisdom?

An example.

- I am the father and grandfather that Dr. Moore talks about.

A lot of times, I say stuff and they look like, "Man, you really said that."

Yeah.

It is not what you wanna hear sometimes, what they wanna hear, but I have to bring it real.

- Like what?

What do you say?

- I mean like, like balance.

Like for instance, you know, the way that they spend their time.

Very rarely do we have like a television going on in our house and it's because that's a waste of time.

You're actually sitting there staring at a box.

I know there's television here, but, you know, there's balance to everything.

There's nothing wrong with watching a little TV, but sitting around and watch TV all day long or to go around here and what's the thing the kids do now?

What's the thing, it's not a cigarette, it's like a vapor thing.

- Yeah.

- You know, I go places, I see kids just sitting around just doing that all day long.

Like, really?

I don't know what's in there and I doubt you know what's in it.

So it's things like that I tell 'em and put that down, don't do this and yeah, I'm that guy.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Well, we get to see a little more of this because all three of you and some other amazing men are featured in a new PBS North Carolina series called "Dads Making It Happen", produced and directed by senior producer Thomas Todd.

Episodes are scheduled to air this fall, but we've got an additional sneak peek for you to the clips that you've already seen.

So take a look.

- [Speaker 1] Are you ready for this?

- [Speaker 2] Uh huh.

[upbeat music] - I've always seen fatherhood as being the best example that you can be for your kids.

Mike's wife and I began to notice maybe around five or six, he wasn't initiating, interacting with us.

He was officially diagnosed autism.

- Fatherhood is being able to provide for your family, security.

You want to keep your family close with things that's going on today with the way society is, you know, people getting shot in the streets, kids killing kids and all the things that's going on, you want to keep your family close.

- That was a great preview.

Damon, I wanna ask you before we close out, what does a show like this mean for our culture, our society?

- It means everything.

You know, people need to see that we are positive and we do walk by faith and it's important because.

like Mr. James also said earlier in the show, that kids tend to imitate what they see, you know, and not what they always hear.

- That's great.

That's great.

Well, thank you so much all for being on the show.

We appreciate you and we invite you to engage with us on Instagram using the hashtag BlackIssuesForum.

You can also find our full episodes on pbsnc.org/blackissuesforum and on the PBS video app.

Thank you for watching.

I'm Kenia Thompson.

I'll see you next time.

[upbeat music] ♪ ♪ - [Narrator] Black Issues Forum is a production of PBS North Carolina with support from the Z. Smith Reynolds Foundation.

Quality Public Television is made possible through the financial contributions of viewers like you, who invite you to join them in supporting PBS NC.