(steady music) - No matter how close your family is, there's still something that's very difficult to pin down of that belongingness feeling.

So I remember like, throughout most of the beginning of the relationship, that was something that was very difficult to show to you was that document papers and explain all this, 'cause for a very long time, saying adopted, adoptee, almost felt like a stigma.

And it almost always followed up with, "Do you know your real parents?

Do you know your real mom?"

Which for adoptees, never say that.

Oh, here we go.

Because our real parents are the people who raised us.

So this is my dad.

Real implies your parents aren't really your parents.

Biological is a better term, or I've heard other doctors say bio parents.

Lolo is grandfather.

I remember you saying, "Why don't you go on Facebook?

Like why don't you just try?"

'Cause Facebook at that point now became big.

- So now we're in the 2000, what, 10 or nine?

- 2015 is when I first did my first search.

- Okay, 2015.

There you go.

- So I remember going on the Facebook and I compiled this formal letter and because of these papers and this particular album that was given, I had some clues.

I knew what my birth name was, which was Rene Palumpa Badun.

So I used that name and searched on Facebook for everyone who matched the descriptions.

I sent out this letter, this little letter that just kind of said, "Hey, I'm Dan, I'm an adoptee.

I just wanna learn about myself.

I'm not looking for money."

- It's interesting that that has to be like the disclaimer before, like, I'm not looking for your money.

Is that American?

Is that us being Americans?

Like that's the first thing that we think about?

- It's just kinda like, "Who is this person?"

- [Joe] Yeah.

- And yeah, I sent that out to so many people and I didn't hear anything.

And I was just kind of like, you know what?

It's probably not meant to be, it's not meant to be.

And I just kind of let it go at peace.

- So that was just like another knife in the heart.

- Oh, big time.

Yeah, that definitely was.

So then a couple years later, 2017 rolls around and that's when I had a follow up with all the people I messaged, that several years back, and I'm just like, "You know what, I'm gonna give it another shot in the dark."

- I remember it took some convincing to get you to do that follow up.

- Remember you were very supportive of it.

Just be like, "Just do a follow up.

Do it like you do with a job application."

Just be like, "Hey, I'm just kinda wanting to know who they are," that kind of thing.

And one got back to me, and he, now my cousin.

- I love it.

I love it.

- Was living in Saudi at the time and said, "Yeah sir, I'm gonna totally forward you to my auntie who lives in Texas."

Long story short, she ends up sending me a message back, saying, "We found your birth mother."

And I remember to this day, as soon as my birth mother came onto the video, I was with my dad, and all she kept saying was, "I'm sorry."

- Aww.

- [Dan] Yeah, that was hard.

She was apologizing up the storm because she was just like, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

And I kept telling her, I'm like, "Don't apologize.

I just want to say thank you."

This was literally like, almost 30 years of my life.

Just wanted to say thank you to this person.

- Aw.

- Because she gave me this chance.

And so we connected and everything.

We had a long conversation.

My dad was right there.

We were like, connecting and having this dialogue back and forth, all about this experience.

And then it turns out, that Didja Joy was planning a family reunion that year.

- Oh, oh!

- So Didja Joy and a bunch of other Filipino families from all over the world were planning to go back to Negros Oriental.

And I was hesitant.

I was like, "Do I really want to go back?

I don't really know."

- Why wouldn't you?

- Yes.

So I decided, I'm like, "I have to do this."

And we just arrived in Manila, so now we're just waiting for our baggage.

I've saved up the money and everything.

My dad and I flew out there in 2017, and we went all the way back there and it turns out a lot of the relatives haven't spoken to each other since they were teenagers.

Because I came into the picture, a lot of these family members reconnected again.

- I love it.

I love it.

- All right.

Negros Island Oriental.

So I went back and it felt like a movie.

Like I documented the entire story on my YouTube channel 'cause I'm like, "There's no way I can explain this without making it sound like I watched a movie.

So right now I'm actually talking to some cousins of mine.

I get to meet all of the relatives, all the rellies were there.

It was absolutely incredible.

This is all my family.

- Hi!

- [Dan] But it was also very overwhelming because I'm like, I'm related to all of you, but I don't know how, so.

- Oh, family reunions are always that.

- Complete with matching shirts.

- Oh my god.

- [Dan] The Palumpa family reunion.

And I love it.

My dad got one and everything.

- [Joe] I'm glad to know that it's not just me, 'cause when I go to a family reunion and different people like auntie so and so from, you know, three cousins down knows you, "You look just like your daddy."

And like, and I don't know who you are, but you know me apparently.

- The aunties actually said that.

The minute they saw my photos, they're like, "He is a Badun, he is a Palumpa."

And I was just kind of like, oh okay.

Because they saw because of my face or whatever.

So I understand that.

- [Speaker] Go ahead.

- [Dan] And then I finally got to meet my birth mother.

So after the family reunion, we take a Jeep.

The Filipino way, cram everybody in.

And we drive up this dirt path and stuff into this like, little like real rural part of the island.

I just remember as just like, the feelings were just overwhelming.

But I remember being in so much shock.

It was more of a shock feeling.

It wasn't even like, "Oh yay, I get to meet."

It was like, "Oh we're here."

- I can imagine.

You're taking two daggers out your heart, right there where you thought, okay, never gonna find her again, not gonna find her.

- I was very skeptical.

I was actually kind of concerned that I was just kind of like, is this like my birth mother?

Is this a real family?

Are they playing, like making this up so they get money?

There was a lot of skepticism.

Both sides.

In fact, I found out on that side, they weren't sure either, 'cause I mean, this random kid comes dropping out of the blue and saying, "I wanna meet you."

And so I totally understand that.

So we go to this house and it's this little tiny village kind of thing.

Like there's a bunch of like these little homes, and this entire community comes out.

And I remember having my phone, I was just telling my dad, I'm just like, "Please film this because this is once in a lifetime."

And we just lose it.

Like, we just lose it.

- [Joe] Yeah.

- [Dan] Like all of the emotion for the past almost 30 years, just like spewed out everywhere.

Everywhere.

She was like, holding and everything.

She's like, wiping her face with her shirt and I'm like drenched in like, sweat 'cause it's hot, but also like, tears just everywhere.

And it was burning 'cause it was just like, it just wouldn't stop.

- [Speaker 2] Said she's sick.

- She's sick?

- With what?

- [Speaker 2] I don't know.

- [Speaker] Yes.

- [Speaker 2] She's feeling better, but, sometimes.

Oh, okay.

So when you were little, I mean, no, no.

After she left you, she couldn't help but, you know, think about you.

(person speaking in Tagalog) - Okay.

Okay.

So she left you, and you're not even two months yet.

Okay?

(people speaking in Tagalog) - [Dan] So it turns out, the adoption papers were pretty accurate.

There was a few details that were a little bit off here and there.

- I was gonna ask you.

Yeah.

- Yep.

Everything was pretty accurate.

But the part that really hit me was, my birth mother thought I died.

- Oh.

She had mourned a whole loss of a child and, wow.

- Her whole life.

- [Joe] Oh my god.

- She said that when I was born, I was extremely sick.

Like, really sick.

And she thought that she's like, as soon as she gave me up for adoption, she was just like, "He's gone."

- Oh my god.

- [Dan] Yeah.

- I'm sorry.

- [Dan] So having me coming back was just overwhelming.

So I printed out my entire life story on this like, gallery thing.

I printed it out, put all these photos, and I bring this packet of all my friends 'cause I'm like saying to myself, this is a reunification of not just my birth and family and myself, but this is a reunification between me, myself, my family, and all my friends, 'cause I consider them my family too.

So this was like a knotting of three trees.

So I'm like, I want you all to be a part of this.

So back home, my mom is my mom.

- [Speaker 3] It's mama.

- It's mom, mama.

- [Speaker 3] Or nana.

- And this one here, I can call nanay.

- [Speaker 3] Nanay.

- Nanay.

- [Speaker 3] That is a simple, call us mama nanay.

- Mama nanay.

Mama nanay.

My birth mother.

I barely even remember the whole day completely, just because like the only way I remember is from the videos that I shot because it was just, the emotions were through the roof.

And it turned out, we ended up inheriting some land, which was like, absolutely amazing.

It was some beach property.

So my brother has a part of land and my Didja Joy was like, because there's two of you, you get beach property.

I'm like.

- Hey, look, look.

What did we say in the beginning of?

My name is Joe, I'm a Sagittarius.

I love long walks on the beach, right?

- Well now you got a whole entire family beach that you can go run up and down all you want.

And three months after we met, my birth mother passed away.

- Ooh.

How was that for you?

- That was really emotionally overwhelming.

I grew up not knowing who this woman was, but it was amazing how one vacation it felt like we got to reconnect an entire life story.