>> ADIA: I’M SLIPPING INTO GRANDPA SIMPSON TERRITORY HERE, BUT THE OTHER DAY, I GOT IRRATIONALLY ANNOYED WITH A JEANS AD.

IF YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED, THE "COOL" JEANS ARE BACK TO THEIR WIDE-LEG, HIGH-WAISTED VERSION.

EVERY TIME I SEE THEM, I CAN’T HELP BUT THINK OF SNL’S “MOM JEANS” SKIT, BUT THIS IS WHAT’S “IN."

DON’T GET ME WRONG.

I LOVE FASHION.

IT’S INSPIRING TO SEE HOW DESIGNERS INTERPRET WHAT’S IN THE CULTURAL ETHER AND SEE THEIR IDEAS TRICKLE DOWN INTO WHAT’S ON THE RACK AT TARGET.

THING IS, WHEN I TRIED TO KEEP UP WITH TRENDS, IT TOOK A FEW YEARS FOR MY WALLET TO RECOVER.

SO IN THIS AD, LOVELY YOUNG WOMEN STOMP DOWN A GARDEN RUNWAY SHOWING OFF THESE OF-THE-MOMENT JEANS, AND I THOUGHT, “DO WE REALLY HAVE TO GO BUY MORE JEANS?

LEVI STRAUSS’S WHOLE MARKETING SCHTICK WAS SUPER DURABLE PANTS FOR GOLD RUSH MINERS.

"WEAR THESE WHEN YOU’RE CRAWLING AROUND IN THE DIRT ALL DAY AND THEY’LL LAST!"

NOW WE HAVE TO REPLACE THEM EVERY FEW YEARS BECAUSE IF WE DON’T, WE RISK BEING MARCHED THROUGH TOWN, GETTING PELTED WITH ROTTEN VEGETABLES, WITH SOMEONE SHOUTING “SHAME” EVERY FEW SECONDS.

I AM -- AND HAVE BEEN -- READY FOR MY “CAFTAN ERA” FOR THE LAST 15 YEARS: SOFT, FLOWY FABRICS MADE FOR CURLING UP ON A COZY COUCH IN FRONT OF A FIREPLACE.

AND WHEN THE SKINNY JEANS COME BACK AROUND AGAIN -- AND THEY WILL -- INSTEAD OF RUNNING TO THE STORE AND EXHAUSTING MY WALLET, I’LL JUST SIP MY TEA AND LOUNGE, COMFORTABLY.