Hello and welcome to Arkansas Week.

I'm Carlton Wing, your host today.

Now, on this edition, some practical advice as we gather during the holidays.

Sometimes getting together can bring about a mix of emotions, depending on the topics anywhere from joyous to even a little contentious.

We've got some experts here to help us navigate through some potentially tense and uneasy moments, to build some better relationships with our family and friends.

That's a little bit later on in the program, but first, we want to tell you about an event that is coming to Arkansas to help the farmers that feed our state, nation, and the world.

Please welcome Congressman Rick Crawford from Arkansas.

First Congressional District Seth Summerside, the CEO of Kilo Fish Farms, an organizer for the harvest for Hope concert.

And we've also got Erica Barnes Fields associate center director for the Southern Risk Management Education Center at the University of Arkansas Division system Division of Agriculture.

When your business card, you hand that out and you can fold that out to get that title in.

We are thrilled to have all three of you here today.

Seth, let's start with you.

This is a big event for the city of Quito.

The first time ever this concert has been held.

Tell us a little bit about putting this together.

Well, I had I do have to give all credit to Congressman Crawford.

He, he reached out on this event, had an idea, and we got to talking about what is the most impactful way that we can connect with farmers.

You know, there's there's so much going on the ag industry which, the congressman will discuss.

But there's not a lot of discussion on mental health and raising awareness of that, really the impact that farming has.

If you think about it, just in Arkansas alone, it's our largest industry, but we're at the bottom, of the country when it comes to mental health awareness and food security.

So this event is to get people together to address something that's not discussed and do it in a way that, helps support farmers, let them know that they're supported.

Congressman, let's talk to you for a moment.

Our farmers have faced a lot of challenges, this year.

And really almost every year, there's always things, that they're concerned about.

But what are you hearing directly from the farmers that prompted you to get involved in this way?

Well, I mean, all you have to do is look at some of the statistics that are out there with regard to the financial situation for farmers are seeing more bankruptcies.

We're seeing more farm sales.

We're seeing young people leave the farm.

We're seeing the toll this takes on our rural communities.

And, you know, all of this has been bearing down on on rural communities and farmers in particular for not just this year or last year.

This is really sort of generational.

And we've got families that are literally, you know, you know, fighting to keep their family farms afloat and keep them in their families and not have to sell them off.

And it's heartbreaking to see when you see these, these, sale companies roll in to liquidate a farm, a state.

It's really, really sad.

And I know there's there's 2 or 3 stories I could tell about, you know, a young 16 year old who's that was his future was to, to to be able to pick up the mantle and carry that generational farm on for the next generation.

And the financial conditions were such that they weren't able to do it.

And so I say all that to say this, this puts not only the financial stress on farmers, but an emotional toll.

And, and, and what we want to do is make sure that farmers, number one, they know they're not alone.

Number two, we need to overcome the stigma of asking for help.

Farmers are fiercely independent.

They don't necessarily want to ask for help on on issues like this, but we want to know.

We want them to know that the help is out there, and we want to pair them up with the resources they they need to intervene.

If someone's having even remotely considering, doing harm to themself or anything like that, we want to make sure that they know there's there's another way and that they can get help that they need.

Erica, let's talk a little bit about farm stress.

A lot of folks are aware of the financial stresses that farmers can face, with the markets and all kinds of uncertainties, but this is kind of a new topic.

I bet a lot of our viewers are unfamiliar with.

What can you tell us about it?

So I would start off with saying that farmers are more than producers.

They're caretakers of generational lands provide us for their families.

They are also pillars of their communities, and they are routinely deeply grounded in faith.

What kinds of things when you when you talk to these farmers, when you hear their stories, obviously it has an impact on you.

But there's things that that they experience that they're not sharing with other people.

What can we learn from what you've learned from them?

We can learn that there is definitely a stigma with them reaching out to mental health sources, and that they frequently carry the burden alone.

And with the stress of carrying it alone, it increases the likelihood of depression as well as suicidal ideation.

According to the CDC, farmers compared to other occupations or 3.5 times more likely to commit suicide.

In addition to that, according to the Journal of Women Health, women farmers are four times more likely to be depressed, so it is very important if it's imperative for us to reach out to our neighbors.

Since statistically they are no not to reach out to mental health professionals.

And that's an important point.

And it's not just farmers.

A lot of folks need this, so we're hopeful that this can kind of help with a lot of industries.

Of course, we're focusing on farmers today.

So let's talk about what are some of the other programs that are available for our farmers.

So, who does it really, really well is American Farm Bureau.

They have something called Farmers State of Mind, and they're in the process of really evolving to form alliances.

And what I mean by that is engaging the local community.

And so for this particular event, we've engaged Farm Bureau of Arkansas.

The funds run through their federation, where you can easily donate with a click of a button.

But what Farm Bureau offers is that grassroots, the, the trust that they've built in the different counties and the communities, and they're connected with their churches and co-ops and everything else.

So when you talk about how are we going to solve this, it's really about relationships and working together.

And when you have somebody that someone trusts and then they begin talking about it, then you can start doing trainings and programs, rapid response, making sure people have the right resources.

And, the congressman touched on something that's really important.

Farmers are very independent.

That's what they do.

I mean, it's it's the way it's not just a profession, it's a way of life for them.

So it's really, really important.

For them to know that they can raise their hand up and say they need help.

And that's a sign of courage and strength, when you can help each other.

Congressman, let me ask you, you get to talk to people all over the country that, deal with similar situations.

Is Arkansas alone on this issue?

Not at all.

In fact, I talk to my peers about this.

In fact, some of my colleagues are planning to attend this or coming to Arkansas to attend it because they know that this is an important effort.

On behalf of the, rural America and farming community, because we need to break down the the stigma, let the farmers know that they don't have to do this on their own.

And this is sort of pairing up those resources.

It's kind of a peer to peer approach, if you will.

There are a lot of folks that, they, you know, they maybe come from farm communities and have mental health backgrounds.

It's rare.

And that's part of the problem is that it's not like you find a mental health professional.

You know, waiting for you on the turn row.

But we know that the resources are there to put people who can understand what you're going through, who who may be experiencing that either themselves or through with a family member or something like that.

So a lot of this is, just identifying, someone that's at risk making that referral say, hey, maybe you make this call, you know, if you're if you're depressed and, and, you know, there are some signs as, as, as family members and friends, we might be, might be able to identify someone who's at risk.

And maybe you call and say, what can I do to help that individual?

Because maybe the individual doesn't realize or maybe is, you know, as maybe just a little too independent to make that call on their own, whatever you can do to intervene and prevent something like that from happening.

That's what we're looking for.

And, and a whole of community approach on how we rally around farmers who are struggling.

And it's not just about trying to deliver financial aid when the going gets tough.

Sometimes we need to intervene, with emotional aid as well.

And I think that's what this effort is really centered around.

Erica, what's a good way that people can reach out to get assistance?

Or how can we encourage somebody to reach out if we know that they need some emotional help?

Okay.

So as the congressman mentioned, there are signs, there are behavioral signs such as the farmer not tending to the land or the livestock.

There's also verbal signs that the community could look out for or family could listen to, such as, hey, I can't afford to feed my cows, or for them to say, I don't want to try this anymore.

But if a family member or ag agent or someone sees a farmer displaying these signs, I would encourage them to first to engage, to speak to them in a way, say, hey, using my statements, I noticed that you're not enjoying farming anymore and to open up that line of communication next, I would encourage active listening.

Know do not be dismissive.

Instead, actively listen to what the farmer says as well as empathize with that farmer.

And the next step, I would say, is to walk with them, not with the answers, but instead with resources and compassion.

I would encourage them to reach out to the University of Arkansas Division of Agriculture.

We have financial resources called, where you can find active to support University of Arkansas also offers managing farm stress assistance that is delivered through AG agents.

Okay.

Well let's okay.

Let's talk about the event now.

December 6th is when this takes place in the city of Quito.

Pretty excited about this.

We're going to have some great music.

In fact, our congressman's, own band, Triple Nickel.

It's, fortunately, there's a corn festival going on December.

We talked about when congressman proposed this idea of doing a concert.

You know, it may make sense to wait a while to do it, give us more time to plan.

But then the sense of urgency that he talked about on really needing to do this quickly.

So in a short period of time, we worked with the city of Quito.

They had a corn festival last year.

They had 3500 people.

I think the population was about 234 people.

So the population certainly, multiplies, for this festival.

But there's a lot of excitement around this.

And, what we're going to be doing starting at 12:00, the first band, one at four is going to be starting to play, boisterous music.

And then 2:00 is when the Corn Festival will end, and then the harvest for Hope event.

Well, will take stage and, at 2 p.m.

will be triple nickel, which is the congressman's band, followed by three times a lady, Hannah Blaylock.

If you know, she's the Arkansas female vocalist of the year, followed by Matt Stell, who we're excited about as well.

Matt is being brought in thanks to Anheuser-Busch and, is from Arkansas.

So we have an Arkansas group of talent that is going to it's going to be an excellent event.

Congressman, let's give you the last word here.

This is, pretty exciting.

We're looking forward to being able to hear, triple nickel.

It's got to be neat to be able to try to make a difference for good with the work that you do in Congress, and then also to be able to lend those musical talents as well.

Tell us a little bit about that.

Well, you know, it's it's a great diversion to be able to play music.

And I've done it for a long, long time.

And it's kind of a little side deal that is, I think, very cathartic for me.

You know, we all need a little bit of help from time to time.

And this is a release for me.

It's a creative outlet and I've got a great bunch of talent that, work with, and we've been playing together for a long, long time, and we're just looking forward to this.

This is something we feel like is an opportunity to give back to the community.

You probably already know this.

I've spent most of my adult life in the ag industry and outside of the military, and so it's very personal to me.

And, my, my wife is a mental health therapist, which is why I sort of have a burden for this particular issue because of the years that she's spent as a, as a mental health therapist and the things that I've observed and, and learned from her.

So, we're looking forward to this, and we just can't say enough about the support that we've gotten from the city of Keough and Seth and all the folks down there that are making this happen.

So we are very excited about and looking forward to.

Well, we're looking forward to it as well.

We thank you, Congressman, for joining us from Washington, DC.

Grateful to you, Erica and Seth.

And thanks to all three of you for the work that you're doing for our agriculture community here in Arkansas.

Thanks for coming.

Thank you.

All right.

We'll be right back.

Welcome back.

And communication between individuals doesn't always come easy or natural when you don't share the same views on an issue, they can take an unexpected turn, making the situation awkward at best or at worst, combative with damaged relationships.

Doctor April Chatham Carpenter and Doctor Glenn White of Braver Angels of Arkansas are back for the exciting sequel, with some tips on how to engage in respectful dialog in family and social settings, especially as we head into the holidays, or for some family gatherings where conversations like these might take place.

And so as we look at these kinds of conversations, what especially in some cases, these conversations haven't taken place since the last holidays.

So it's not like they're seeing each other all the time.

So it's oh, no.

He had another awkward conversation with Crazy Uncle Joe or whatever.

How do we handle this in our expectations?

You know, a lot of times it's because we have the expectations of the behavior and it could be of ourselves.

Right?

The last time that Uncle Joe said that, I know that I lost it.

And I can't do that again because that created all kinds of issues for the family and drama, right, for the family.

So sometimes it's those expectations that get us in trouble.

We have to anticipate those.

Yeah.

And I think when I think of talking to someone and try to keep things between the ditches, as it were, I think of two things communication and connection.

The community part is to make sure that when we're talking that we do so in a way that it's clear that it's respectful of them.

And then the connection part is also making sure that whatever we do or trying to maintain the relationship either as good as or maybe even improve it the last time you were here, and this is one of the reasons why we're back, because we're thrilled about this, sequel that we've got.

You mentioned there's a formula that you can use that you can teach yourself when you're having these kinds of conversations.

Could you go into a little bit more depth on what that formula is?

We use it in almost all the tools, workshops that that we have.

It's called the lap formula.

Listen, acknowledge the A can stand for acknowledge it, can stand for, agree, can stand for, appreciate lots of things today.

Then pivot to your own perspective.

But you asked permission before you share your perspective and then share your perspective.

That's the lap okay.

All right.

And that's a good way for us to kind of keep that in our memory banks.

One of the things that can kind of help is if you guys would be willing to role play a little bit and kind of demonstrate a technique, because if you've listened to the, on the other hand podcast, they represent both sides of the, of the aisle here.

And you've you've demonstrated great how you can get along with each other.

But could you show us something that might be able to inform us on how to handle some of these tough issues?

Okay, how about we start with me playing a blue or liberal leaning person talking about immigration, and I won't start it off in a braver angels kind of way.

I'll start off in a little combative stance there.

Okay, I'm ready for the combating.

Okay.

You know, I, I appreciate meeting you, I do you what do you think about this stuff?

This administration's doing crazy things with immigrants.

It's just really hateful.

And he's wanted to build a wall.

I just just don't get it.

Well, I'd like to hear more about your perspective on that.

I really don't know you.

So tell me more about why you why you think that's a concern?

Well, I just think our country was built on immigrants.

And I think that immigrants can play an important part.

As far as the wall part, you know, I don't believe in open borders, but I do believe in a wall.

It's a particularly ineffective, cumbersome kind of way to manage the border.

I would personally like to see more, funding go to the people who can make decisions and get people through in a hurry, who are coming through the border and sort out who is there legitimately and who needs to be sent back.

Well, it sounds like you feel pretty strongly about it and that you've actually thought a lot about it.

I actually might agree with you more than you expect.

In terms of, the role of immigrants in our society, I'm curious, would you have time for me to share my perspective a little bit so that you could hear, you know, I need to go talk to someone real quickly.

Could we meet in about five minutes up at the bar and we'll have a have a chat?

Absolutely.

That sounds great.

Okay, good.

Good talking to you.

Thank you.

Yeah, well, there we go.

Look at that.

That was nice and peaceful, but I liked how you de-escalated.

You asked questions first that lap you.

You followed that technique and you could see that working.

And so what I would ask then is, so sometimes you get in a conversation with somebody and they may or may not be factual, but they are absolutely uncertain.

And so how do you deal with that?

So in those kind of situations, a lot of times I don't do it as well as I just did, because my emotions are also aroused by something that they're talking about.

And I think about maybe I'm feeling threatened because something that they said just just kind of went against something on my own identity.

Maybe I'm interpreting something that they said to to think this is what they're thinking about me.

And so I get kind of like in this fight or, you know, flight mentality.

And at that point, I've got to be aware of my own emotions.

Where's, where are my shoulders right now?

You know, because I'm probably like this and I need to just oh, deep breaths, hold my hands out.

So I'm willing to actually being aware that I want to have a curiosity conversation, a learning conversation.

And and sometimes I just can't deal with it at the moment.

But you're not alone.

This one of the things to understand about that is when it comes to our identities and our strong beliefs and things like that.

The tribe we identify with that is a very primitive part of our brain that's in operation.

It wants to retain our beliefs and our affiliation with our tribe at all.

Cause because back way, when our lives did depend upon it, now it doesn't.

But our brains still act as if, it's a life or death matter when they hear.

When we hear something different than what you know, we may ascribe to.

And so let's offer each other some grace when we get a little bit, worked up over what someone else is saying.

And when someone else is coming on really strong, remember, they're probably going from that part of their brain who we do have an alternative of trying to use that smarter part of our brain to work against it, use things like facts being rational, using morality standards, the law rules, things like that, that kind of keep us from being just another wild animal in the woods.

You mentioned Grace, and we see so little of that in today's political discussion, and you touched on it a little bit.

But when your emotions get up, that's when you're going to say things that you probably shouldn't.

And, and kind of overexaggerate how you might actually feel and be less likely to be able to extend that grace.

How can we control our emotions in the moment?

Yeah.

So for me, it's it's it's about deep breathing.

It's about, keeping my hands open, being aware of what's happening in my body, even naming the emotions and saying I'm feeling right now, a little irritated.

I'm feeling frustrated.

I'm feeling attacked.

I don't know that I can actually have this conversation with you right now, because I'm having these feelings, and I need to walk away, and maybe we can have them when things are settled down a little bit, have that conversation.

And so sometimes I have to walk away because I will.

I'm a hothead.

I will say things that I regret.

Know thyself.

Well, and I think she's right.

Everything she says.

You can also do that with yourself internally when you're in the middle of the conversation.

If you can pull that off, realize I'm getting emotional now, and then you start to take those deep breaths she's talking about call the muscles and remember what is my goal?

My goal here is to be a civil, decent human being and maybe go back to something, you know, like the lab skills and start using that again.

That puts that smarter part of your brain back in charge.

There are some people in our lives that love to push the buttons, and, and we call them and Braver angels.

There's a workshop called Family and Politics.

Like we call them the, Gladiator.

Typically, they're the ones they want to fight.

There's also an assassin fashioned.

Oh, yeah, maybe so with snipers and.

Yeah, I mean, there's there's all these kinds of, of terms that people sometimes will just they just love to fight.

And we don't want to fight or we do want to fight, but we want to, we want to win.

And so being aware of that inside yourself as well sometimes kind of accepting what is the end goal here.

And so is it to, is it to win this argument.

That's probably going to be unwinnable in so many situations?

Or is it to preserve a relationship so that you can have an opportunity to have influence later, that that can kind of help?

One of the things that you mentioned is when you when you do get into a situation where it's starting to get a little bit heated and the other person is not going to give, does it help to recognize that sometimes there's other people in the room that are watching what's taking place and your words might be going towards this person, but they're being received by the people who are watching.

Can that help with the diffusion of your emotions and give you a purpose?

Can.

And at the same time, you know, you don't expect or you should not expect to change people's minds anyway, that rarely happens.

So it's more about understanding and not winning the argument.

So you can have those effective things that you say to the person that you know, you're not going to change their mind, and maybe it has an impact on people around, that's good.

But regardless, be respectful and keep the communication in man.

You can also they'll have a US versus them mentality.

So imagine that the Razorbacks playing somebody this week.

That's important.

I'm just thinking about, you know, you could get into a fight over who's going to be, you know, on whatever the topic is.

And all of a sudden, you know, people are at arms.

So you can sometimes use the group in ways that aren't good as well.

Yeah.

And you bring up something else because we're talking about this in the political context, but you know it in sports.

It can get you know, I actually know some people who cheer for Auburn and that's tough.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's going to be some tough conversations.

But but these skills can apply to a wide variety of things.

Obviously with within.

Yeah.

Good.

On the other hand podcast, where can people find it?

Well, you've got, several places.

It's on hosted on the Podbean website.

So we have a, a brief, website web page there, but the best place to go is to our Brave Rangers Arkansas website.

Braver.

Arkansas dot braver angels.org.

And that will take you to our main page.

And then you look for the podcast, drop down menu and go to the Arkansas podcast and you'll find it there.

I can't recommend that podcast strongly enough.

I had the opportunity to be on that podcast.

We did a two part series there, but I think just like what you demonstrate and what you say is that we are far more alike than we are different.

There are other forces that would love to divide us, and when we can sit down and talk to each other and really reason with each other, we can come to some better conclusions.

As I felt for a long time, we can do politics better than how we are doing them right now.

And if you listen to these folks, you'll be able to do so as well.

So April, Glenn, thank you very much for your time here today, and we thank you for watching.

And we'll see you next time on Arkansas Week.