- I think I'm at peace with the fact that for me home is two different places.

- Obviously I don't look like the typical person that belongs here, but then when I go back to Mexico, they know that I don't belong there either.

So I'm like, where do I fit in?

- I don't think that anyone actually cares how someone gets here.

This is really just a continuation truly of white supremacist policies and practices that have been unfortunately around since the origin of the United States.

- I've lost a lot of my faith in the system and I don't know what would help to fix that because nobody seems to be following the laws.

No matter who's in charge, nobody's following the rules.

(bright music) - [Voiceover] This program is made possible in part by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, a private corporation funded by the American people.

- For millions of immigrants in the United States the question of where they belong isn't just emotional.

It's shaped by a system that can be complex, confusing, and often overwhelming to navigate.

As the nation marks 250 years since its founding, a country built by immigrants, women from different generations come together to share their stories.

What many imagine is a clear and simple path is in truth anything but.

Mayra, to me, is like this, the hope of the next generation.

She's so, so inspiring.

Her family is so wonderful.

Just hearing about them makes my heart expand.

Her amazing accomplishments and the fact that she wants to be an immigration attorney just really inspires me for what's possible in our next generation.

Robyn is a phenomenal immigration attorney.

She's really well renowned in our area and I feel so lucky that she has come to VIDAS to support, really training up the next generation of advocates.

So she does a lot of supervision of our legal assistants and she is just so honed in on the many nuances and complexities of immigration law.

She gets it like nobody I've ever seen just get it and be able to do such great work with our community.

And she also has such a unique story of her own, coming from Canada and having gone through the process herself, she really understands how difficult can be, even for somebody who's well-resourced, well-educated.

Liz is a bilingual therapist, which I think is also a really important thing to think about when you're talking about legal advocacy is whole person advocacy and understanding the anxieties and, you know, really the emotional and psychological impact of being an immigrant, especially in this time.

- Yes.

So, I didn't have a typical quinceanera that was very common too in Ecuador.

In Ecuador, quinceaneras are sort of like a rite of passage.

And my dad, whose family had already been living here, asked me if I wanted to have a party, a quinceanera, or if I wanted to come to the United States for a year.

And I didn't have a lot, a lot of friends because my parents were very strict.

So I thought, okay, if I have a party, I'm not going to have a lot of people to invite.

And I chose, yeah, maybe I do want to go to the States and be there for a year.

- Growing up, having immigrant parents, I was kind of afraid and sometimes embarrassed of telling my friends or other people that I came from parents who are immigrants and I was first generation.

They always told us when we were younger to try to not mention any of that.

Maybe 'cause they were afraid.

They didn't know what could happen if we mentioned that to other people and other people were aware.

As I grow older, I realize that that's part of my identity and their identity as well.

Actually, it's part of my story.

- All of the forms that I had to complete in order to do this process on my own, which was not a smart idea back then, but I thought I was smart enough to do it.

The forms aren't intuitive.

They're confusing and if you make a mistake it gets sent back.

I believe that immigrating as the spouse of a citizen or the spouse of a resident is much more difficult because you wind up with these issues of potentially being in the country illegally, which can affect things as you go through the process if you are undocumented at some point, which is unfortunately what we were seeing happening a lot with arrests and detentions.

People just trying to get through the process.

But the majority of them are out of status at the time that they try and apply for their status, being arrested at their interview.

- Well, it's a very complicated process.

So, immigration law is one of the most complicated areas of law.

It's tough even for very experienced attorneys and it's constantly changing.

It also changes at the whim of any given administration.

So keeping up with a consistent, you know, with kind of the chaos of the changes can be really difficult.

So imagining navigating that alone is pretty onerous.

And if you make a mistake along the way, or a misstatement, even unknowingly, it can really impact your ability to become a legal permanent resident.

It can impact your, basically, your chances at building a life and thriving here forever.

And could potentially impact your family members and what may be available to them.

So the stakes are incredibly high.

That's especially true in removal proceedings when you're five times more likely to prevail in removal proceedings if you have an attorney than if you have to go it alone.

So we know that it's really important for people to have legal advocacy through this process.

- I think for me it was filling out the paperwork.

I think it was overwhelming.

- Yes.

- And however, I think back then it might have been a little easier, I don't know.

I remember just doing a lot of work, you know, 'cause they ask you for so many things.

- Did things get sent back a lot?

Things kept coming back to me a lot.

- Oh, yeah.

And then also too, even when I had a student visa, it was really difficult to renew the visa and I had to have different requirements.

Or going back home for a visit, I had to have all the signatures.

So, it was difficult.

- I wouldn't say mine was, mine was not easy, but with the amount of work and then, you know, you had to go for the appointment and then my stuff would get sent back to me.

I couldn't work.

You know, all of those kinds of things were like the hugely frustrating part of the process.

Sounds familiar from what you say, yeah.

- Yeah, and I didn't personally go through that myself, but just seeing my parents having to go through the whole process.

So luckily, I've been able to help them with filling out their applications.

My dad has been renewing his work permit and my mom recently became a legal permanent resident through the consular process.

And I was able to help her, like, fill out the forms, get everything prepared, the huge packet that we took with us to Ciudad Juarez.

So I don't personally understand having to go through that myself, but I live it through my parents and my parents' journey to the US as well.

- Something that I hear a lot of from the, you know, the baseball field, you know, the privileged people that get to do, you know, sports and sort of that with their kids is that, "Well, if you're married to a US citizen, why is it so hard for you?"

(crowd murmuring) Get it, get it, get it!

Oh!

(laughs) Good try, Andre.

Saturday baseball.

So this is my 12 year old's travel ball team.

They jokingly say that a mom's heart rate when her kid's on the mound is equivalent to doing a 30-minute workout.

And I would say that that's about true.

(chuckles) So that same heart pounding that I get sitting here watching both of my boys pitch or even just play is exactly the same when I'm dealing with a judge that, but it's different.

It's more, "Yes, sir.

Yes, your Honor."

Yeah, the whole immigration experience and what people believe on a day-to-day basis is just that it's going to fill out some forms and send them in and that card just shows up in the mail.

It's not an easy process.

And I wish more people would really understand what immigrants go through in order to just be here.

As, of course, you know with your family, that it is next to impossible without having to go through so many hoops and... But people just I don't think really understand.

And I think that lends itself to so much like of the hostility that we see as well.

- Right, so I think in my circle, I've done a little bit of educating my peers.

Well, for some people, for a lot of people, there's no paperwork because there's not a path, right?

So I think that's what I see as the biggest misconception that people just don't want to fill out paperwork.

- No case is ever the same.

So they come in, they're like, "Okay, but why can't I apply?

Like, my friends applied, my family member applied.

It's the same thing."

But no, like how you said, the grounds of inadmissibility are one big thing in immigration.

And a lot of people have the permanent bar.

So unless they go through some sort of crime or something that affects them through the U visa or laws change, there's no way that they can apply unfortunately.

And even if they want to do it the right way or the legal way, there's no way for them to do it.

- People who are here from other countries have made a very difficult decision to leave where they're from, you know, to leave maybe some family behind and to, you know, come to a very different culture, different country, different traditions.

Most people who probably make this choice is because they want a better life.

They want a better life for themselves, for their children.

I do get patients who end up going to the emergency room because they have a panic attack.

They think it's a heart attack, right?

So it's a panic attack.

And they, you know, when they're at the ER, they're told you don't have anything.

You just have anxiety.

So they come and meet with me, and I work with a lot of adults who have childhood trauma going through the immigration process.

Or maybe there's no process for them, just this fear and anxiety.

I think it gets out of control because there's so much more that comes with that, you know?

Like things probably from the past.

You know, I don't want 'em to be in that situation.

I want 'em to feel safe.

I really enjoy working with them.

And I enjoy explaining, you know, this is what trauma looks like.

You know, this is why you're feeling this way, this is why you're having panic attacks.

So just the psychoeducational piece, sometimes people go, "Oh, okay."

You know, so that's what it is.

You know, I can't do anything about this, you know, situation with immigration.

I usually say, "You know, do you know VIDAS?

You know about VIDAS?"

However, being able to just help 'em, you know, feel a little bit like, how can you manage my anxiety?

Or how can I manage this thing that I didn't know?

It's amazing when they do understand what it is and they start working on it, I really see a big change.

- VIDAS is a nonprofit providing trauma-informed legal advocacy in the North Bay area of California.

We provide removal defense, detained representation, asylum, DACA, special immigrant juvenile status, U and T visas for survivors of certain types of crime, family-based petitions, and then of course lawful permanent residence and citizenship.

We meet with so many people with really diverse stories, but a lot of people do come to us with significant trauma.

They've experienced war and violence in their home countries.

Some people have been tortured.

They're the survivors of rape or significant abuse.

Some have witnessed their loved ones be killed or they've been threatened to be killed.

And so many of the people that we meet really are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.

They've experienced extreme trauma and they face a very uncertain future with a lot of just the inherent anxieties of living in uncertain status and not knowing what the future may hold, not knowing whether they'll be safe, whether they'll continue to be with their family members or what might happen to them.

- This girl and her mom came to my private office and she had just been released from detention.

She'd been in detention for five and a half months in violation of the law, which requires children under the Flores Settlement to be released within 20 days.

She was kept for five and a half months in detention.

And she had made a journey to America by herself at 11 years old.

It was so traumatic where she was in Guatemala, that getting into a vehicle with a stranger was safer than where she'd been.

And she broke my heart.

But she wouldn't really talk when she was there with her mom in my private office.

So I said, "Well, let's go over to VIDAS and let me see if there's anything that could be done there."

And Mayra was just randomly there that day and Mayra's much closer in age than, you know, myself or even Tatum.

'Cause she wouldn't really open up 'cause mom was there.

- I think you asked, "Is there anything else you want to tell us?"

And she kind of went, "Uh."

And that was like the first thing that she might have- - And she had done that in my office.

This girl was as thin as a rail and her teeth were rotten.

And I could just see that she'd been through so much.

- Yeah, we knew that she had something carrying inside of her that she just wanted to tell anyone.

But since it was so personal, I don't think she wanted her mom or anyone close to her to know what was going on.

So we suggested me and her going into a room and kind of just talking, having a casual conversation.

I told her, I'm like, "Tell me whatever you want to say."

I did not have any questions.

I was like, "I just want you to get everything off your chest.

Let me know how you're feeling.

We're going to help you.

We're here to help you.

All the attorneys are here to help you, so this is a comfortable space for you."

So I think that kind of relieved her.

And she told me what she needed to tell me.

She did cry.

She had a lot of emotions that she had just built inside of her and she let them out.

But I think she went out happy knowing that she was able to finally tell someone what was going on.

And from there, we just started the case.

In one of our appointments she was like, "I have a question for you."

And I'm like, "Yeah, what is it?"

She's like, "I've been hearing this word.

My friends have been throwing it around at school and I don't know what it is."

And I was like, "Yeah, what's the word?"

She's like, "What's a visa?"

And at that moment I knew that she knew what was going on.

So I explained to her what a visa was, what we were doing that through asylum if it was granted she was never going to have to go back to Guatemala.

And I think that that kind of encouraged her and gave her more power to do her best at court.

The night before was no sleep at all.

I was so worried about her.

And she brought a teddy bear with her.

We had suggested she bring something.

And she would just cover her face when he would ask her questions - [Robyn] And she would like hug it really tight.

- [Mayra] Yeah.

- [Robyn] Yeah.

The bravest little person I have ever met, ever met.

To get in that it was so bad where she was, that anything was better.

She was willing to just try to get to America where she could be safe.

But at the end she bounced out of there.

- Oh yeah.

- And she ran and hugged her mom and it was very sweet.

- [Mayra] Yeah, that's when we kind of knew like, this is all worth it.

- [Robyn] And she's doing amazing at school too.

- [Mayra] She is.

- [Robyn] Yeah.

This girl six months in school and she can speak English.

She was not allowed to go to school in Guatemala and she's just thriving - In the meantime, what does that mean for her?

- She just gets to like be a kid.

Which is what she's never been able to do.

- Sometimes I think about when you secure status for someone and they, you know, really can dig in and build a life here and create connections, that has impacts for generations to come.

You know, when you hear the stories of like, "Oh yeah, my grandfather came here and he, you know, he opened that restaurant."

And it's just like, wow.

When you look backward, then it also gives me that vision of looking forward and what's possible when you create a sense of belonging for someone here now, you create a positive impact for generations to come.

- I think that what we're faced with today is making an entire generation of extremely resilient immigrants, as well as opening up the eyes of the average Americans.

Coming into the 250 years of America that started with immigrants.

- [Mayra and Liz] - Mm hm.

- And the resilience of those immigrants and them wanting better for themselves and their futures.

That I feel like we're on that same sort of cusp again.

- Yeah.

I think, I mean, when you say it like that, I'm just thinking there are always going to be immigrants no matter what.

I don't see how you stop that.

Even if you build a wall, right?

You don't stop that.

You don't stop that.

If it's such a difficult journey, I think that's why probably, right, the resiliency and doing more and, you know, doing maybe things that sometimes, I don't know, maybe you didn't even imagine, right, that you could do because it's such a difficult, long journey that it's almost like, you know, I need to make something out of this, right?

And immigration may always be an issue and I don't believe people are going to stop coming.

- People just want safety and security.

And I feel like we should be proud, America should be proud, of where.

It could do better for sure, but it should be proud because a lot of people want to come here for a reason.

They want stability, the freedom.

At the end of the day, we're all here because we want a better future for ourselves or our children or our future generations to come.

At the end of the day, yeah, we just want the same opportunities.

- And America has that shining city on the hill and people see that.

I saw it from Canada.

People see it from around the world and if they want, they wanted to come and try to see if they can do it themselves.

I don't think I would've ever gone to law school if I had have stayed in Canada.

And so that journey as well, it just like makes, just sort of like gives you this wide-open feeling that you can go and do and be everything that you want to be.

- [Mayra] Yeah.

- Yeah.

- I don't ever take for granted the privilege that I have been given by being able to come here to this country and then what I can provide to my children.

And they don't have to worry about eating or if they're going to be punished that day for just doing the wrong thing.

Somebody doesn't want to take care of them.

The privilege, I think about all the time and how lucky we are to, one, live where we do, but also to have the opportunities that my boys do.

Come on, come on, come on.

(gentle music) Yeah, yeah!

Woo, yeah!

Nice strike out!

- [Observer] Very good.

- Nice, Kyler.

- I'm hopeful that things - [Robyn] Me too.

- like you were saying, things change.

I'm just waiting for something great to happen.

For something to change that's going to be positive and that's going to help a lot of people, you know, achieve their dreams, the reasons why they're here.

I mean, once you're here, I'm just thinking you're already here.

You know, like you're talking about your kid, you know, her journey was so, so difficult and long.

There's got to be positive change coming soon.

- I'm hopeful.

I have a lot of hope after seeing everything that has come out in the cities of just the average person who's never protested, who's never done anything in their lives is like, "Hang on a second, those are my neighbors.

And you're not going to treat my neighbors like that."

And once people sort of open their eyes to who our neighbors are, I have hope that things will change, that pendulum will start to swing back.

- Yeah, I think we're heading right back to the direction that we want to with a lot of people educating themselves and others around them holding protests.

With technology, where we're able to share information.

So I think everything is evolving and I'm sure it's for the better.

- [Robyn] I hope so.

- I would hope that people would understand that immigrants are not the enemy.

Immigration is not a problem to be solved.

Immigration is one of the most beautiful, natural processes in the world, and it's something to be embraced.

The hope and the vision of America is one where anyone can build a life and thrive here no matter where their story began.

And that's what I hope we would all work together to achieve in America.

- It took years for me to feel like I fit in and belonged.

Yes, we speak the same language.

Yes, the culture is somewhat similar.

Canadians are very different than Americans and took a long time to feel like I belonged, and there's times when I don't.

- Yeah, although I was born here in America, my parents are immigrants and obviously I look like I don't belong here.

So I have like this sense of dual, like a dual belonging, a dual identity, that's a better word, a dual identity because I, obviously I was born here.

I speak the language, but I also have my Mexican roots and my heritage.

And I've had to, you know, try to find my own identity and my own sense of belonging in both cultures.

(gentle music) (car beeping) We're on our way to my house where we'll have dinner with my mom, my dad, and my siblings.

(keys jangle) (trunk slams) Okay, let's go.

Hello!

How are you guys?

(both speaking Spanish) Hi, Lalo, how was your day?

Good.

- [Lalo] Perfect, perfect.

(gentle music) (mother speaking Spanish) (Mayra speaking Spanish) (mother speaking Spanish) (gentle music) - We're a very close family, so we're always gathering or finding a reason to get together.

And every Friday we get together and eat as a family, since one of my brothers doesn't live at home anymore.

- I go home and I also go home here.

So, I have two homes.

- Yeah, I agree.

I think for you and I, I was born in Ecuador, I grew up in Ecuador.

When I go to Ecuador, I still say I am going home even though I feel like this is also home because my girls, my kids are here.

So I think it's just coming to terms with that and being okay with not belonging 100% here or here.

And when you say the word belonging or home, I think I have a very strong emotional reaction to it because it's complicated.

You know, it's complicated.

(bright music) (bright music continues) - [Voiceover] You can visit our website for more information and additional resources.

It's all at generations250.org.

- [Voiceover] This program is made possible in part by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, a private corporation funded by the American people.

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