♪ >>On this episode of the Own Your Now Show... >>And telling them you do not have to go down the same path that I did, there's another way.

If you see me bump my head against that tree several times, avoid that tree, especially if I'm telling you what that tree is going to do to you.

>>We're filling our cups with conversations that unite people with serial entrepreneur Reggie D. Smith.

>>And owner of Punchline Productions 314, Corey Schonhorst.

>>Be humble enough to learn what it means to be a father, and what it means to be a father is not a disciplinary action at all points and times.

What it means to be a father is to be understanding.

>>And you don't want to miss our "Vibe In the Box" guest- musician, Billboard Music, and Grammy Award-winning Lloyd Nicks.

>>This is my story, this is my song.

Blessed is your... >>Grab your cups and let's fill it up.

It's all coming up on the Own Your Now Show.

>>Funding for this episode is made possible by Generate Health, the champions of family and community.

Friends and supporters of the Own Your Now Show.

Thank you for supporting this program.

♪ >>Welcome to the Own Your Now Show.

I am your host, Tracie Berry-McGhee, also known as Divine Tea.

>>And I am Yolonda Lankford, and they call me Lady Yo.

>>And we want to welcome you to the Own Your Now Show, where it's all about wellness, opportunity, knowledge, and empowerment.

Lady Yo, Lady Yo!

>>Yes, ma'am.

>>How are you?

>>I am great.

How are you?

>>I'm doing well, I'm doing well.

What's you sipping on, what's in your cup?

>>Girl, you know I've got tea.

And when I say tea, that means I want to lean in to see what kind of tea you have for me.

>>Well, you know I always have the tea, I have the wellness tea.

That's the type of tea that we serve here.

My wellness tea tip for this episode is remember that you have to exercise.

You may need to take time to breathe and journal, because that is the key to longevity.

>>Well, that is the key to longevity.

Your health is your wealth.

And you know we love to talk to our people in the community, so you know we're going to talk to people about conversations that unite people.

Our special guests, Reggie D. Smith and Corey Schonhorst.

>>Alright now.

♪ >>Welcome Reggie D. Smith to the Own Your Now Show.

So good to have you.

>>Thank you.

>>We've got to ask you, what's in your cup?

What are you sipping on?

>>Water, I'm trying to be a little healthy today.

>>Oh, a little healthy today, well you must be getting ready for some kind of attire that he wants to wear, you know that's what we do to be healthy and be in shape.

>>Try to get that skin glowing for the summer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>>That is awesome.

I want to know, who is Reggie D. Smith?

>>Serial entrepreneur, philanthropist, community advocate, family man.

>>Yes, yes.

It's interesting that you have all those titles in the midst of the things that you do.

We were talking earlier about the value of having safe spaces for men.

As a therapist, that's so important.

Talk to us about why that's important for you as well.

>>Well, men, unlike women, they don't talk, they don't open up.

It's a pride thing.

When men are hurting, when men are feeling certain things, they'll hold it in and it will explode sometimes in the wrong way.

Definitely in the wrong way.

They lash out, they take it out on their wives, their girlfriends, their mothers, the police, they take it out on strangers.

So it's good to be able to talk and open up, and that's something I've learned how to do myself in the last six months, being a therapist as well.

I would hold everything in, and over the last six months I was forced to start expressing myself to certain people.

>>And how did you feel about it?

Does it make you feel good, do you feel better?

>>Yeah, knowing that I have one or two people that I can talk to about certain things that I'm going through emotionally, and somebody that I can text and say, "Hey man, I just cried for no reason."

I just had that conversation yesterday, I was like, "Man, I must be getting old or something, or sensitive, because I'm starting to cry a lot.

>>Sensitivity is great in a man.

>>It's something about being vulnerable, and you are a motivational speaker and you're a storyteller, and you reach out to the youth.

What is the message that you always feel that they need to know?

>>I tell my story, and I tell them you do not have to go down the same path that I did, there's another way.

If you see me bump my head against that tree several times, avoid that tree, especially if I'm telling you what that tree is going to do to you.

Look at what's going on around you, don't go that way.

And I tell them all the time- a lot of us were raised by single women.

You may not have a role model, but look around, there are a lot of people that you don't want to be like, and that's what I tell them.

>>That's a nugget, that's a nugget.

>>There are a lot of people that I don't want to be like or didn't want to be like growing up.

>>Now you just said something- there's always a role model.

Who was the influential person in your life?

>>My grandmother.

>>Your grandmother.

Talk to us about what she taught you, how to take care of yourself, how to take care of your family.

Talk to us about your grandmother.

>>My grandmother was- she was a cook, that's where I get my- >>You got the cookies.

>>Yes, yes.

>>You bring the heat.

>>My grandmother, when I was a kid, ever since I could remember she was married to an Asian guy, and we owned several Chinese restaurants in East St. Louis.

And I remember late nights being at those restaurants, and during the day she would go to her regular job at the former St. Mary's Hospital.

And she would just work, come home, work, come home.

And at that time, my grandma was a millionaire.

>>She wasn't harsh.

>>Yeah, because she was a millionaire because she never not had for her kids or grandkids.

Well, I was the oldest so it was just me at the time.

But as she got older and older and older, and dementia started setting in, I started paying a few bills for her, I'm looking at stubs, I'm like, "Grandma makes this?

I made that yesterday."

But she was able to provide and take care of home with that.

So I'm like wow, grandma, what are you doing?

Where are you getting all this money from?

Hey, God made it multiply I guess.

>>God made it multiply.

>>Yes, yes.

She was my motivation, you know, she was everything.

She came home, cooked big meals for holidays, put everybody out of the kitchen.

She didn't want nobody in her kitchen, but you've got 40 people out there eating and she'd be in there all from the night before, and would still go to work.

>>And I have a question.

Did she get to see you be successful?

>>She got to see some of it, yeah some of it.

She would grab my sauce and say, "This guy is on his bottle, he's surely got some good sauce."

By the end dementia had set in, but she knew that guy on that bottle had some good sauce.

And when the dementia really set in, I was the only person whose name she even remembered at the end.

>>You know, when you talk about the end, one of the things we all have in common, the reason why we have this show today is as a therapist I was grieving, lost my mother, and there's a shift that happens in our lives that makes us realize the value of being very intentional.

Now we see you in the dirt digging, we see in Africa working with the children.

How has that shift impacted you?

>>I had to grow up, I had to change a lot of things, I had to reflect, I had to say, "Hey, a lot of people that were there for me, that safety net to grab me, it's not there anymore, so it's just me.

>>You had to grow up.

>>Yeah, I had to grow up.

I'm an only child, I had to grow up.

>>Wow.

>>So am I, so am I.

>>Now listen there- you are an interesting fella.

If you wrote the book of Reggie D, what would this chapter be called?

>>The one right now.

>>Right now, it's in the works.

From Cell block to CEO.

>>Wow, that sounds like an exclusive, Lady Yo.

>>It sounds like an exclusive.

I can't wait to read it, I mean so- >>Sixteen chapters, I've written the summary, I'm on probably chapter 4 or 5 right now.

>>Awesome!

>>So look for that this summer.

>>You know, so many of our young men don't realize what second chances look like, and when you get that second chance, I mean the trucks, the businesses, when we say 'cereal.'

The other thing that I realized that we have in common is you always talk about your first cousin, how you all do everything together, how family is everything.

>>Yes, yes.

>>It's kind of like sister cousins.

>>Yeah, yeah.

>>Talk to us about when you know that that person has your back no matter what.

>>Dr.

Eboni January.

[laughs] That's my everything, I cry when I get chills just thinking about that.

It's like whatever I need, she's there, you know, whenever I call her she's going to be there.

She makes things happen.

>>And she helped you get your business started, I remember.

>>She works with me on everything, I mean from advice to- I mean everything.

Do this, do this, and she'd get on me, "Stop doing this and do it this way," you know, because she's already been there, she's traveling the country doing it, so she's telling me, "You've got it, you've got it, you've got it, you've got everything on lock, just do it this way."

>>So you say from cell block to CEO- you have two facilities now, three facilities?

Talk to us about your facilities.

>>One, two, three.

All total, four.

>>He said four, wait I like that, I like that!

>>Three transitional houses and my drug and alcohol rehab center.

>>Yes.

>>You are out there doing the work in the community.

So we always ask, what is your wellness word?

What is that one word that means something to you?

>>Faith.

Everything that I do is based on faith.

When I jumped out there to do my businesses, to start these businesses, I jumped out on faith.

I had no money, bad credit score, and everything happened.

It was faith.

>>Everything happened.

>>Yeah, I prayed on it, and things just happened.

>>I tell you, one of the messages that I always hear is when God tells you to walk, run like the wind, for you are guaranteed to fly.

And brother, you're flying.

>>Yes!

>>You're trying, and we're so proud of you.

>>So proud of you.

>>We really are.

Speaking of flying, Lady Yo always has a one-on-one tip.

What is your lifestyle tip?

>>Well, let me tell you- live your life to the fullest.

>>Live your life to the fullest.

>>And it's live your life.

Don't compare it to anyone else.

You go out and live your best life, because we only get one.

So live your life to the fullest.

>>That's right.

And speaking of living your best life, our next "conversations that unite people" guest is Corey Schonhorst.

He is the founder of Punchline Productions 314.

♪ >>Corey, we're so glad you said yes, but we have to ask you first, what's in your cup?

What are you sipping on?

>>So strangely enough, black coffee.

>>Black coffee, now you are a true friend of Tracie's.

>>All through the day.

>>Black- no sugar, no cream.

>>No nothing.

>>That is it.

>>It regulates my ADHD.

>>Yes it does, it does.

People just- you all just got a tip, so you have to know that.

Speaking of tips, why is being a mental wellness advocate so important to you?

>>Because I spent so much of my life mentally unwell.

Yeah, something I struggle with today, so I'm an advocate because I'm a student.

>>That part.

>>Now speaking of advocacy and entrepreneurship, how do you combine both of those things?

>>I would say that neither was my plan.

>>Okay, speak!

>>I didn't- I've been an entrepreneur, multi-faceted in different ways for several years, but the part about working in advocacy and mentorship was something that came to me out of necessity.

I had worked with several organizations and loved it, I loved giving back, but it wasn't my passion.

I had originally gone to school to be a secondary teacher, high school teacher, but had my eldest son very early on, so I had to go get a job.

And so that gave me a chance to go back in, and from that- from the ability to go in and mentor young men the same way that I grew up without a father, and give some of that semblance of what I saw in myself, is where I learned where I'm still a student very much of the unhealed traumas that I had, the mental unwellness that I had.

And I don't say that in a self-deprecating way.

We all have things, right, I don't think I was clinical.

>>Right, right.

I'm a clinical licensed therapist, and you are absolutely right.

We still have our traumas, our shadows, those things that we heal from.

And that's one of the things that I appreciate about you is your authenticity and transparency, something that I'm sure our youth connect to.

Chasing Dreams- tell us about the mission and your 'why.'

>>Sure, yeah.

Chasing Dreams is named after Whitney Chase.

I grew up in Whitney Chase, North County St. Louis, primarily.

Moved around a lot as a kid, but that was my home, my mindset.

And that was an opportunity for me to speak to young men.

My primary goal originally, and I've learned to be very organic with things- but my primary goal originally was to integrate young men at a certain age from all over the St. Louis area, because one of the divisions that I've noticed is not just a racial division in St. Louis, it's a "I live in this district, and I live in this district, and we don't mingle."

>>The zip codes and the districts, yeah.

>>Yeah, so that's why it still matters at my age where I went to high school, which is so silly, right.

>>Let them know, what high school did you go to?

Or what high schools?

>>Yeah, Hazelwood East and then Parkway North.

>>Alright, alright.

>>So my mission there was to integrate, and then what ended up happening was that I primarily ended up focusing on Hazelwood East, especially the first year.

And what I saw there was, there was so many- I would never be able to reach that many.

But I've naturally expanded because people have jumped in to help.

But the goal there is this profound message that I got from this, and the reason I stayed there was because at first, bringing the program in, someone involved in the administration asked, "Are young women included in your program?"

Because many of our households in this area are run by young single women.

And I said, "No, and that's why."

And she said, "And that's why what?"

And I said, "My belief is that if I can give these young men, and the people that I work with can give these young men an opportunity to stand on their own two feet, that they will run these households, and that breaks the chain."

>>And you mentioned earlier about being a father early on in life.

How did that change your life, did you have to stop going to school, was it a choice to stop going to school?

And I know there is an age difference between your children.

Are you a different father now than you were then?

>>I would say that when you speak about transparency, that with my first son I was a dad.

With my second son, I became a father.

And as unfortunate as that relationship was in the beginning, it was never absenteeism.

I coached many of his sports up until a certain age.

I was there, but I didn't have the understanding of how to be a father because I didn't have a representation of that growing up- not directly, my stepfather was fantastic.

My grandfather and grandmother who primarily raised me are fantastic, but I didn't have a father, right, and so my oldest son and I now have a great relationship, he's one of my- what I would consider my best friend.

But my youngest son and I have grown together, especially lately in a way that has been really beautiful for me because I'm walking alongside my inner child.

He's me.

>>Oh, he's getting it.

>>This dude's wild.

>>Yes.

>>The first son is calm, his mom was all over his case all the time- the little man's me.

>>Isn't that funny when you see your kids act like you?

>>It's like surreal, right, I'm like watching myself run around my living room.

I'm like, what?

But it was- him and I, to save the whole- him and I last summer I made an agreement with him that we would no longer yell and scream at each other, no matter how aggressive we got.

>>I like that, I do.

>>And that energy has changed his energy, because I couldn't figure out why I was always on edge or always waiting for him to do something.

And it was because that's why he was always doing something, it was my anxiety.

So we've got a commitment to each other now about respect and about things, and it's changed my relationship with my eldest son, changed with him, but I would say that's the key.

The key is to be humble enough to learn what it means to be a father, and what it means to be a father is not a disciplinary action at all points and times.

What it means to be a father is to be understanding.

>>That's a beautiful wellness journey.

That's a beautiful wellness journey.

>>It really is, I can appreciate that.

I'm sure many men can, and many young boys that want their fathers to listen and understand that one of the things we talk about in the wellness journey is your wellness word.

What is that one word that speaks to you?

>>Humility.

>>Humility.

>>Humility in all things, because without the ability to be criticized- I spent so much of my life living disingenuinely, without the ability to not take things personally.

I spent so much of my life fighting.

I was always in defense mode, I was in defense mode in my relationships, I was in defense mode of my friendships, as a student, as an employee, I always had a chip on my shoulder.

And the more humble I become, the happier I am.

I can't control certain things, and when I let that go and just accept it and understand that I'll never be the best I can be, but I can get better every day.

I wouldn't say that I love criticism, but I would say that I really try my hardest to look introspectively from other people's opinions and not use that to change who I am, but to use it to improve who I am.

>>Thank you.

>>I'm there.

>>I am there with you, I'm visualizing your journey, proud of all things you've done to make your family well, because that is so important, when men say, "I want my family to be well," whatever it looks like.

So congratulations to you, and we are so thankful you said yes, and now you are officially, officially an Owner.

>>Yes, that's right.

We can have some coffee together.

Drink our coffee black.

No sugar, no cream.

>>Lady Yo, all I can say about today has been- like it's so necessary for us as a community to come together.

That's why I love that we do the show, I love that we are representing St. Louis City and St. Louis County.

Just knowing that so many young children need to hear this message, and adults.

This is what healing is all about.

I have to ask you, what is your wellness word?

>>Life.

>>Life!

>>Life, life, like just you know, life itself is beautiful.

Life.

>>Well, as we wrap up and go into our Own Your Now flow, it's important that we understand the value of knowing that as we go through life and we grow through life, oftentimes we have to take the faith walk.

And when we take that faith walk, we can step back and understand what humility looks like, because after all, life is going to life.

But we're going to make sure that we live our life to the fullest.

Speaking of living our life to the fullest, who is our "Vibe in the Box" today?

>>We have Grammy Award-winning Lloyd Nicks.

But you know what I've got to tell you?

Until next time, keep sipping peace, love, and positivity.

>>And remember, tomorrow isn't promised, so own your now.

♪ >>I thought I knew my story, so shouldn't have a doubt.

I read every night, I memorized every way out.

But you showed me there's so much more between the lines.

And all that I thought that I knew, God you were working for me every time.

This is my story.

This is my song.

Blessed assurance, seeing it all come along.

When I was broken, you helped me see.

What you have started, God I know you're going to finish.

Blessed assurance.

Turning back to all the faces.

Seeing my life through your eyes.

All of my days, drenched in your gaze, I was always on your mind.

This is my story.

This is my song.

Blessed assurance, singing it all the day long.

When I was broken, you helped me see.

What you have started, God I know you're going to finish.

Blessed assurance.

Yeah.

But you showed me there's so much more between the lines.

And all that I thought that I knew, God you were working for me every time.

Oh you showed me there's so much more between the lines.

And all that I thought that I knew, God you were working for me every time.

This is my story.

This is my song.

Blessed assurance, singing it all the day long.

When I was broken, you helped me see.

What you have started, God I know you're going to finish.

What you have started, God I know you're going to finish.

Blessed assurance, my blessed assurance.

Assurance.

♪