(male announcer) PRODUCTION FUNDING FOR RARE VISIONS AND ROADSIDE REVELATIONS HAS BEEN PROVIDED IN PART BY SPRINT, COMMITTED TO THE COMMUNITY, CONNECTING YOU TO THE WORLD.

(man) ♪ WELCOME TO A SHOW ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN SEE ♪ ♪ WITHOUT GOING FAR, AND A LOT OF THEM ARE FREE.

♪ ♪ IF YOU THOUGHT THERE WAS NOTHING ♪ ♪ IN THE OLD HEARTLAND, ♪ ♪ YOU OUGHT TO HIT THE BLACKTOP ♪ ♪ WITH THESE FOOLS IN A VAN.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT, THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ RANDY DOES THE STEERING SO HE WON'T HURL.

♪ ♪ MIKE'S GOT THE MAP, SUCH A MAN OF THE WORLD.

♪ ♪ THAT'S DON WITH THE CAMERA, ♪ ♪ KIND OF HEAVY ON HIS SHOULDER.

♪ ♪ AND THAT GIANT BALL OF TAPE, IT'S A WORLD RECORD HOLDER.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT, THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT, THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ (Don) DEAR TV MAILBAG, WHERE HAVE ALL MY WEASELS GONE?

HI, DON THE CAMERA GUY HERE ON THESE WET AND GRITTY STREETS OF THE INNER HARBOR, LOOKING FOR THOSE PRODUCERS WITH WHOM I TRAVEL.

AND NOW THAT THEY'RE FOUND, THEY SEEM TO BE SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT SOMETHING IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE WE GET: VIEWER MAIL.

THIS IS FROM JENNIFER, WHO WRITES, "I WAS WATCHING RARE VISIONS AN D ROADSIDE REVELATIONS "FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY, AND IT SUDDENLY OCCURRED TO ME "THAT DON THE CAMERA GUY SOUNDED VERY FAMILIAR.

"AND THEN IT CAME TO ME: THE NARRATOR "THAT IS ON THE CABBAGE PATCH KIDS AUDIO TAPE THAT I USED TO HAVE WHEN I WAS LITTLE."

(Mike) NO, SAY IT ISN'T TRUE.

"I'M WONDERING IF YOU CAN CONFIRM FOR ME WHETHER OR NOT HE WAS ACTUALLY THE NARRATOR ON THAT TAPE."

FESS UP; YOU WERE THE VOICE OF THE CABBAGE PATCH KIDS.

COME ON, DON.

YOU KNOW YOU WERE.

(Don) OH, SURE, I MADE A FORTUNE.

I JUST DO THIS FOR THE COFFEE AND PURE PLEASURE OF BEING COOPED UP IN THE BACK OF A MINIVAN.

IT'S JUST LIKE HOME.

(Don) BUT AT LEAST I WON'T BE COOPED UP FOR LONG, SINCE WE'RE JUST HEADING AROUND THE HARBOR TO A PLACE I NEVER THOUGHT WE'D ACTUALLY GET TO SEE: THE AMERICAN VISIONARY ART MUSEUM, COMPLETE WITH ITS OWN VOLLIS SIMPSON WHIRLIGIG WHIRLING AWAY HERE AT THE FOOT OF FEDERAL HILL.

OH, SAY, CAN YOU SEE THREE FLOORS FULL OF STUFF MADE BY FOLKS WHO WEREN'T TRAINED TO MAKE IT.

THIS OUGHT TO BE GOOD.

(Rebecca) ISN'T IT GREAT?

I MEAN, VOLLIS IS ONE OF OUR ALL-TIME HEROES.

AND THIS WAS DESIGNED ALMOST TO BE LIKE A GIANT-- ALMOST IN THE SENSE OF A TIBETAN PRAYER WHEEL FROM DAY ONE TO GIVE LIFE TO THE WHOLE CENTER.

WE ACTUALLY DESIGNED THAT HE WOULD COME AND HE WOULD, YOU KNOW, PERMIT US TO HAVE ONE OF HIS WHIRLIGIGS WITHOUT KNOWING THAT THAT ACTUALLY WOULD HAPPEN.

BECAUSE I COULDN'T IMAGINE THIS MUSEUM NOT HAVING THE WHIRLIGIG AT THE CENTER.

PEOPLE LOVE THIS PLACE-- PEOPLE WHO WOULD, LIKE, HATE MUSEUMS.

MY FAVORITE DAY OF ALL WAS WHEN WE HAD A WHOLE GROUP OF HELL'S ANGELS HERE-- THIS REALLY HAPPENED-- AND THE JUNIOR LEAGUE.

THE JUNIOR LEAGUE HAPPENED TO BE--AND EVERYBODY GOT ALONG.

IT WAS LIKE, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE PLACE WHICH IS VERY WELCOMING TO EVERYONE.

JONATHAN SWIFT DEFINED VISION AS "THE ART OF SEEING THINGS INVISIBLE."

AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS A PRETTY GOOD DEFINITION OF "DELUSION" TOO, BECAUSE--[laughs] BUT AT THE SAME TIME, THAT'S WHAT GENIUS DOES: IT SEES POSSIBILITY WHERE EVERYBODY ELSE HASN'T.

WE'RE DEBT FREE.

I'VE KEPT IT DEBT FREE.

I'VE NEVER TAKEN SALARY.

BUT NOW WE'RE LOOKING FOR ONE $25 MILLION-- (Don) $1?

WE'RE ONLY $24 MILLION 999 MILLION AWAY NOW FROM HAVING THIS MUSEUM ENDOWED.

WE HAVE THE LARGEST COLLECTION OF TED GORDON'S WORK, WHO IS KIND OF A RECLUSE IN CALIFORNIA.

LOST HIS WONDERFUL WIFE, ZENA.

AND YOU CAN SEE IT'S ALL FREEHAND WORK.

I JUST LOVE IT.

THIS IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST MIRACULOUS PIECES OF ART, I THINK, THAT HAS EVER BEEN MADE.

IT WAS MADE BY A WOMAN WHO WAS COMMITTED TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL BY HER HUSBAND AND TOWN PHYSICIAN.

WHEN SHE GOT IN, SHE BEGGED FOR A SEWING NEEDLE.

THERE WAS NO THREAD, SO ALL OF THE BLUES COME FROM UNRAVELED BLUE JEANS.

THERE'S THIS INCREDIBLY CHARMING FIGURE HERE OF ALMOST A KIND OF A FLAPPER GIRL WITH HER HOSE, ET CETERA.

AND SHE TOLD THE NEWS STORIES FROM THE DAY.

OVER HERE, YOU CAN SEE A PATCH WHICH SAYS, "THE FOUNDING OF PALESTINE AND ISRAEL."

SHE WAS VERY AWARE OF CURRENT AFFAIRS, BUT AT THE TIME, THE WARD NOTES SAID, "SHE SEWS WITHOUT PURPOSE," BECAUSE SHE WASN'T MAKING, LIKE, APRONS FOR OTHER PEOPLE.

GERALD HAWKES WAS ONE OF THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY MEN I'VE EVER KNOWN.

AND HE HAD BEEN BRUTALLY MUGGED COMING HOME FROM SHOCK TRAUMA, WHERE HE WORKED, AND, IN THAT MUGGING, HAD PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE.

AND HIS LIFE FELL APART.

EVERYBODY KIND OF LEFT HIM, AND HE ENDED UP LIVING ON THE STREET, AND HE ENDED UP BEING A HEROIN ADDICT.

AND HE PRAYED THAT HE WOULDN'T HATE FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.

AND HE THOUGHT ABOUT USING MATCHSTICKS.

AND HE SAID THAT MATCHSTICKS ARE LIKE HUMAN BEINGS IN THAT WE ALL HAVE THE ABILITY TO GIVE LIGHT OR NOT, JUST LIKE MATCHSTICKS.

AND HE WAS ALSO INTO MATH.

I MEAN, EVERYTHING WAS COMPUTED ABOUT HOW MANY-- TO MAKE A SQUARE.

HE WAS TOTALLY A GENIUS ON THAT.

AND THIS GUY, EMERY BLAGDON, FILLED HIS BARN WITH THREE TIMES WHAT YOU SEE HERE IN COMPLEX HEALING MACHINES, BECAUSE HE WAS SO TRAUMATIZED BY HOW MUCH OF HIS FAMILY HAD DIED FROM CANCER.

AND HE WOULD INVITE PEOPLE WITH RHEUMATISM, AND THEY WOULD COME IN CRUTCHES AND WHEELCHAIRS JUST TO SIT AROUND HIS HEALING MACHINES.

AND IT WAS HIS KIND OF LOVE SONG TO PEOPLE.

HERE IT SAYS, "THESE FEW HAVE INFLUENCED MILLIONS."

AND IT'S A TOTEM POLE OF HITLER, ELVIS, MARTIN LUTHER KING, THE DEVIL, AND CHRIST.

AND HERE, IF YOU CAN SEE THIS SOLDIER HERE, THE FACE WAS MADE BY AN UPENDED BIG GALLON JUG, A PLASTIC JUG OF MILK.

(Randy) WHATEVER WAS AT HAND.

(Rebecca) UH-HUH.

HERE, YOU FIND THESE PAIR OF WOMEN'S SILK LEGGINGS WITH THOUSANDS OF LITTLE FLOWERS EMBROIDERED.

BUT IF YOU LOOK VERY CAREFULLY, THIS PERSON GAVE HERSELF A LITTLE BIT OF MALE ANATOMY.

(Randy) MI KE HAS A PAIR JUST LIKE THAT.

[laughter] (Rebecca) MY FAVORITE STUFF IS WHEN PEOPLE JUST, YOU KNOW, ARE BUILDING THE GARDEN OF EDEN IN THEIR BACKYARD NOT AS ART BUT BECAUSE THEY'RE IN COMMUNION WITH SOMETHING BIGGER AND THEY WANT TO LEAVE SOMETHING MORE PERFECT BEHIND.

AND FOR ME, IT MAKES A KIND OF ART THAT DOESN'T TRY TO EMULATE OR PLEASE ANOTHER.

IT'S OF THIS WHOLE OTHER DIMENSION.

WE HAVE OVER 4,000 PIECES IN OUR PERMANENT COLLECTION ALTOGETHER.

AND WE HAVE SOME SPONSORS, BUT WE DEPEND ON PEOPLE KIND OF GIFTING.

OTHERWISE, WE DO THESE MEGATHEMATIC SHOWS THAT ARE UP FOR TEN MONTHS, AND WE SHOW THE BEST OF THE WORLD'S COLLECTORS.

'CAUSE ONCE YOU START THAT SLIPPERY SLOPE OF PURCHASING ARTWORK-- I'VE NEVER TAKEN SALARY, SO, I MEAN, WE WATCH EVERY DOLLAR HERE.

SO WE DON'T REALLY HAVE A BIG BUDGET FOR ACQUIRING.

I FEEL A DOLLAR COMING ON.

OH, MY GOD.

WHERE'S SACAJAWEA?

THAT'S--WE'RE ALMOST-- WE'VE DOUBLED OUR NAMING CAMPAIGN DUE TO THE CAMERAMAN ALONE.

THANK YOU.

I THINK THAT VISIONARY ART SPEAKS TO THE PRIMACY OF WHY PEOPLE EVER MADE ART.

WE SAY WHEN THE LIFE EXPERIENCE IS TOO BIG FOR WORDS, IT'LL COME OUT AS THIS, BECAUSE THEY HAVE SO MUCH IN THEM THEY HAVE TO SAY.

AND OUR MUSEUM IS VERY UNUSUAL.

EVERY MORNING AT 6:00, A WHOLE BUNCH OF DOWN'S SYNDROME ADULTS COME HERE AND CLEAN THE ENTIRE BUILDING, AND THEY COME, AND THEY TELL US WHAT SUCKS IN EVERY NEW SHOW AND WHAT THEY REALLY LOVE, YOU KNOW.

SO THEY GIVE US FEEDBACK INSTANTANEOUSLY.

WE HAVE A VERY UNTRADITIONAL, OUT-OF-THE-BOX WAY OF OPERATING, BUT THAT HAS REALLY SERVED THE ART AND THE PEOPLE WHO WORK HERE AND THE PEOPLE WHO VISIT VERY, VERY WELL.

(Mike) YOU KNOW, I'M THINKING-- 'CAUSE I HEARD YOU NEED SOME MONEY.

(Rebecca) OH, MY GOSH, WE DO.

[laughs] HOW MANY ARE IN THERE?

IS IT ENDLESS?

AND WHERE ARE YOU TAKING THESE FROM?

(Don) WOULD YOU BELIEVE CABBAGE PATCH PAYMENTS?

JUST KIDDING.

BUT NOT ABOUT HOW MUCH WE LIKE THIS PLACE AND THE VIVACIOUS VISIONARY WHO BROUGHT IT TO LIFE.

AND THE GIFT SHOP'S GREAT TOO.

WE'RE NOT WORTHY, AND WE DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS.

'CAUSE WE WEREN'T-- WE CAME A DIFFERENT WAY.

NO, WE'RE ON NORTH BROADWAY ALREADY.

RIGHT, SO I DO THIS, RIGHT?

NO, YOU DON'T.

WELL, NO.

(Don) IF YOU WERE WONDERING HOW LONG WE COULD NAVIGATE THE BIG CITY WITHOUT GETTING LOST, WONDER NO MORE.

HEY, WE'VE BEEN HERE ALREADY.

(Don) SURE, ROW HOUSES AND BRICK STREETS AND MORE ROW HOUSES ARE A BIG PART OF BALTIMORE'S CHARM.

(Randy) I DON'T SEE ANYBODY ROWING.

(Don) BUT WE NEED TO FIND SOMEONE: PAUL DARMAFALL, A.K.A.

THE GLASSMAN, A KOREAN WAR VET, LABORER, AND, AS IT TURNED OUT, QUIETLY PROLIFIC MAKER OF PIECES LIKE THESE WE SAW YESTERDAY AT THE MUSEUM.

(Paul) I GOT THIS GLASS FROM THE FREE COUNTRY, FREE NATION, AND I BUILT--MADE A PICTURE OUT OF IT.

I JUST WALKED AROUND AND PICKED UP BROKEN GLASS.

THAT'S ALL.

(Mike) PEOPLE CALL THAT ART.

YOU DON'T CALL IT ART, HUH?

(Paul) IT'S JUST A PICTURE TO ME.

I'M NOT AN ARTIST, AND I NEVER WAS AN ARTIST.

WITH PICK AND SHOVEL, THAT'S WORK.

[laughs] THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL.

WHEN THE SUNSHINE OR THE LIGHT HITS THEM, THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.

(Bonnie) I THINK HE STARTED IN '73.

I'M NOT REAL SURE ABOUT THE DATE, BUT I THINK IT'S AROUND THAT TIME.

HE DID IT UNDER TREES.

AND HE WOULD HANG 'EM IN THE TREES.

HE WOULD HANG 'EM ALONGSIDE THE ROAD.

AND I SUPPOSE THAT'S HOW IT STARTED.

I DON'T KNOW.

(Mike) SO EACH LITTLE PIECE OF THIS STUFF, YOU HAD TO PICK UP?

I BROKE IT UP A LITTLE MORE THAN WHAT IT WAS.

BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT WAS WHEN I GOT THROUGH BREAKING IT UP.

AND THERE WASN'T ANY PIECE ANY BIGGER THAN THAT.

(Mike) I LIKE THE SUBJECTS OF YOUR PICTURES.

YOU HAVE, WHAT, A HISTORY IN YOUR PICTURES, AND YOU HAVE OTHER THINGS LIKE THAT, RIGHT?

(Paul) I DIDN'T DO IT FOR BUSINESS.

I DID IT JUST FOR SHOWING.

BUT GEORGE WASHINGTON WAS THE ONE MAN WHO NEVER TOLD A LIE, AIN'T HE?

WELL, I AIN'T TELLING YOU NO LIE.

I PICKED IT UP, PICKED THE BROKEN GLASS UP AND BROKE IT UP AND MADE PICTURES OUT OF IT.

(Bonnie) WELL, HE ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT GEORGE WASHINGTON, YEAH.

AND GEORGE WASHINGTON DIDN'T TELL A LIE AND ALL THAT CHERRY-TREE CHOPPING AND STUFF.

AND HE TALKED ABOUT EINSTEIN AND DIFFERENT THINGS LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW.

(Mike) ART CLASSES WHEN YOU WERE A KID OR SOMETHING?

OR WERE YOU ALWAYS DRAWING?

(Paul) THERE WAS NO ART CLASSES IN MY HOME.

WE WORKED; THAT'S ALL.

[laughs] WE HAD A WORK HOUSE.

THAT'S ALL WE HAD.

AND THAT'S WHAT THIS IS, IS WORK.

(Bonnie) WELL, HE DOESN'T DO MUCH NOW, BECAUSE I DON'T THINK HE FEELS LIKE REALLY MESSING WITH IT, YOU KNOW.

BUT BEFORE, HE'D GET UP EARLY IN THE MORNING AND SOMETIMES TO DO IT SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT HOURS A DAY.

(Mike) YOU SAID YOU THOUGHT IT HELPED HIM FEEL BETTER WHEN HE DID IT.

(Bonnie) OH, YEAH, I THINK IT WAS THERAPY FOR HIM, 'CAUSE OTHER THAN THAT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE WOULD HAVE BEEN DOING, YOU KNOW?

(Paul) THE SUBJECT OF THE PAINTING, LIKE I SAID, IS THE FREE COUNTRY AND FREE NATION.

THAT'S ALL I GOT TO SAY ABOUT IT.

I GOT IT FROM FREE COUNTRY, FREE NATION, AND I DIDN'T CAUSE NOBODY NO TROUBLE ABOUT IT.

I JUST AIN'T GOT NOTHING TO WORK WITH NO MORE.

I GOT--YOU CAN SEE.

YOU CAN LOOK AROUND.

YOU CAN SEE THE PLACE IS PRETTY WELL CLEANED UP WITH GLASS, BROKEN GLASS.

[laughs] (Don) SO AFTER GRABBING SOME SLOPPY AFFECTION FROM PAUL'S DOG, DUMDUM, WE RESUMED THE DRIVING PORTION OF OUR SHOW, DRIVING BACK TOWARD DOWNTOWN.

THIS, AS YOU MAY KNOW, IS OR WAS HOME TO JOHN WATERS AND DIVINE, CAL RIPKEN, EDGAR ALLAN POE, BROMO-SELZER, AND THE AMERICAN DIME MUSEUM.

WE'RE NOT GOING THERE, BUT WE HAVE FOUND A COLLECTOR OF THE HIGHEST ORDER NOT FAR AWAY: DAN VAN ALLEN AND A PAINTER NAMED SPOON ARE BRINGING NEW LIFE TO A WHOLE ROW OF BALTIMORE'S OLDEST HOUSING STOCK.

THESE HOUSES WERE BUILT IN 1850.

AND I BUILT A RUSTIC PORCH WITH LOCUST WOOD.

LOCUST IS A ROT-RESISTANT WOOD.

THEY SAY THAT A LOCUST FENCE POST WILL LAST LONGER THAN THE HOLE THAT YOU PUT IT IN.

I HAVE AN OSAGE ORANGE TREE BACK HERE, MULBERRY, ELM.

THERE'S A SWAMP MAGNOLIA AND A LOCUST.

(Randy) WAS THE IDEA TO CREATE SOME HAVEN WITHIN THE CITY?

(Dan) OH, YEAH, SURE.

I TRY TO CREATE MY OWN ENVIRONMENT.

I HAVE AN ALTAR TO THE SEA GODS OVER THERE UNDERNEATH MY ORIGINAL CANOE.

THIS IS ALL MY OVERFLOW MARINE AND THINGS I COLLECT BEACHCOMBING.

SO THIS IS ANNABELLE.

IT'S MY VAN.

AND ON TOP IS LA MALINCHE.

IT'S MY LATEST SAILING CANOE.

THIS IS THE MAST HERE, ABOUT A 17-FOOT MAST, AND THE FIGUREHEAD.

(Randy) CUTS QUITE A STRIKING FIGURE IN THE WATER.

(Dan) THIS DESIGN IS TAKEN FROM AN ANCIENT CRETAN POT.

THAT'S THE AZTEC WITH THE TALKING SKULL.

(Randy) WELL, SOUNDS LIKE CULTURES OF THE WORLD ARE A THEME WITH YOU, 'CAUSE NOT JUST TIRES BUT ROOMS?

(Dan) YEAH, SO THERE'S THEME ROOMS: A VOODOO ROOM, A HINDU ROOM, MAYAN ROOM, EGYPTIAN, AND THE COCONUTORIUM.

WHO'S THE GENIUS WHO THOUGHT OF THIS?

AM I ON?

(Don) YOU'RE ON; YOU TWO ARE ON.

COME ON.

MOST OF THESE HOUSES HAD HATCHES IN THE ROOF THAT YOU COULD CLIMB OUT OF.

THIS IS A SUMMERTIME HATCH TO REPLACE THE CLEAR WINTERTIME SKYLIGHT.

AND THE DOLL WILL SPIN AROUND IN THE WIND.

(Don) COULD YOU BOYS PUT A LITTLE LIGHT ON THAT FOR ME?

(Dan) SO THIS IS ONE OF MY PIECES OF ARTWORK HERE.

I CALL THIS ST. ANTHONY'S BONE.

THERE'S ANOTHER LITTLE-- (Mike) I HOPE THAT ST. ANTHONY'S NOT LOOKING FOR THAT.

NO.

LET'S GO.

THIS WAY, DONNIE.

(Dan) SO THIS IS THE MAYAN ROOM.

THESE ARE ALL IMAGES TAKEN FROM MAYAN ART.

WE GROUND OUR PIGMENT WITH BEER AND EGG YOLK.

SO WE HAD A LITTLE BIT OF BEER FOR THE ARTISTS, A LITTLE BIT FOR THE PAINT, A LITTLE BIT MORE FOR THE ARTISTS...

HERE'S A PORTRAIT I DID OF DAN OUT OF A SCUBA COSTUME I FOUND ON THE BEACH.

(Dan) WE'VE GOT A NICE DECK OUT HERE.

YOU CAN HANG UPSIDE DOWN OUT HERE ON THE DECK.

(Don) I DON'T KNOW.

HOW WAS I CHOSEN FOR THIS?

YOU'RE NOT SHAKING ME, ARE YOU?

(Dan) NO, WE WON'T LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU.

PROBING ME, ARE YOU?

[laughter] SO HANDS BACK.

(Mike) I THINK IT'S TIME FOR US TO GO.

[laughter] OOH.

(Spoon) YOU FEEL TALLER YET?

IS THAT WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?

WELL, IT STRETCHES YOUR SPINE BACK OUT.

REALLY?

...PUSHING YOU DOWN ALL DAY.

AND THEN HERE IS THE COCONUTORIUM.

MOST OF THESE COCONUTS COME FROM THE PHILIPPINES, BUT I FIND THEM IN THRIFT STORES.

THE MISS PIGGY'S PRETTY CUTE.

(Randy) THE ACQUISITION'S CONTINUAL?

EVERY TIME YOU CAN GET ONE?

OH, YEAH.

IF YOU SEE ANY COCONUTS, SEND 'EM ON OVER.

SO THE EGYPTIAN ROOM'S NOT FINISHED YET.

EVENTUALLY, I'M GOING TO PUT A BORDER AROUND HERE AND SOME MORE EGYPTIAN COLUMNS.

SO IF YOU WANT TO COME DOWN, I'LL SHOW YOU THE VOODOO ROOM.

THIS IS THE VOODOO FLAG.

THESE SEQUINED FLAGS, THEY USE IN THE TEMPLES IN HAITI.

I LIKE VOODOO BECAUSE THEY HAVE LOTS OF GODS, AND THEY REPRESENT LOTS OF PARTS OF THE PSYCHE.

AND I HAVE OTHER COLLECTIONS OF POTSHERDS FROM MARYLAND BEACHES.

RIGHT HERE IN BALTIMORE, GREAT POTSHERDS HERE.

AND THIS IS THE HINDU ROOM IN HERE.

SO WE HAVE JAGGANATH AND THREE-HEADED SHIVA.

THERE'S A SNAKE ALTAR IN OVER THE FIREPLACE.

AND BACK HERE IS THE TOOL ROOM.

YEAH, I STAY BUSY.

TRY TO KEEP HAPPY.

IT'S INSTINCTUAL TO BUILD YOUR OWN HOUSE AND COLLECT THINGS, DECORATE.

EVERYBODY HAS DIFFERENT NEEDS.

I HAVE A HIGH NEED FOR ORDER.

(Don) BUT WAIT; THERE'S MORE.

DAN WAS DETERMINED TO SHOW US SPOON'S AMAZING EIGHT-TRACK TAPE COLLECTION, A CARD TRICK HIS RABBIT KNOWS, AND, ACROSS THE ALLEY, THE OLDEST LIVERY STABLE IN THE COUNTRY STILL LIVERING.

WE THEN FELT COMPELLED TO SHOW OFF OUR CLAIM TO FAME, THE WORLD'S LARGEST BALL OF VIDEOTAPE.

OH, MY GOD, IT'S SO HEAVY.

(Randy) NO CEREAL FILLER EVER.

(Don) THEN IT WAS BYE-BYE, BALTIMORE, HELLO, BELTWAY, PUTTING US PRECARIOUSLY CLOSE TO THE POWERS THAT BE AND YET ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF INCONGRUOUS ADVERTISING, IF THAT'S WHAT THIS IS.

YOU GUYS HAVE OUTDONE YOURSELF HERE.

(Mike) WE LL, I REALLY CAN'T TAKE AN Y OF THE CREDIT FOR THIS.

(Don) IT'S SO MYSTERIOUS.

YEAH.

(Randy) OKAY, WELL, IT'S MYSTERIOUS-- IF YOU DRIVE BY IT EVERY DAY, YO U PROBABLY THINK, "WHY IN THE HECK IS THERE AN EASTER ISLAND HEAD AT THE GLEN-MAUD AUTO GAS?"

DON'T YOU?

I SUPPOSE I MIGHT THINK THAT ONCE.

(Don) HOLD ON A MINUTE.

I KNOW WHAT TO DO.

AND THERE'S YOUR DAMN WATER TOWER SHOT TOO.

(Mike) WELL, AS LEAST WE SALVAGED SOMETHING OUT OF THIS SITUATION.

(Don) QUITE A VIEW, ISN'T IT?

AND EVEN THOUGH D.C. IS THE OTHER DIRECTION, BEING THIS CLOSE TO THE HALLS OF GOVERNMENT HAS INSPIRED US TO PLAY SOME CATCH-- IF POSSIBLE, NEAR SOME LARGE AND PERPLEXING OBJECT.

(Randy) WHAT'S WITH THIS GAZEBO HERE?

WHAT IS WITH THIS GAZEBO HERE?

IT'S THE BIG ACORN, RIGHT?

WELL, I'LL LET THE VIEWERS BE THE JUDGE.

(Mike) THIS WASN'T EVEN A COUNTRY WHEN THEY BUILT THIS, RIGHT?

1850.

OH, I THOUGHT YOU SAID 1650.

WHAT'S 200 YEARS AMONGST FRIENDS?

(Don) NO, DETAILS AREN'T ALWAYS THE BOYS' STRONG SUIT, WHICH WILL SOON BECOME EVEN MORE APPARENT IN YET ANOTHER NEARBY 'BURB.

SEEMS SOMEONE'S RESEARCH SHOWS THAT THIS MIGHT BE THE FINAL RESTING PLACE FOR ONE OF OUR FAVORITE MOVIE DOGS EVER, PETEY FROM THE LITTLE RASCALS, WHOSE REAL NAME WAS APPARENTLY GENERAL JIGGS.

BUT THAT'S ABOUT ALL WE KNOW, AND GIVEN THE SIZE OF THIS PLACE AND LACK OF BETTER DIRECTIONS, THAT MAY NOT BE ENOUGH.

(Randy) NO, I LOOKED BACK THERE.

THAT'S SKIPPY.

(Mike) SKIPPY?

THAT'S SKIPPY.

[Mike whistling] LASSIE.

LASS--OH.

THAT'S PETEY.

BUT IT'S NOT THE REAL PETEY.

PETEY--THE REAL PETEY MAY NOT BE THE REAL PETEY.

(Mike) IT'S THE WRONG JIGGS.

IT'S THE WRONG DAMN JIGGS.

COME ON; ONE JIGGS IS AS GOOD AS ANOTHER.

(Don) ♪ AND, BUNNY, I MISS YOU.

♪ ♪ SO THOUGH THROWING IN THE TOWEL IS NOT EASY FOR PRODUCERS TO DO, THIS WAS ONE HUNT WE HAD TO CALL OFF.

BUT THE LITTLE GUY WOULD HAVE WANTED US TO GO ON ANYWAY, ALL THE WAY TO WASHINGTON.

AND THAT IS WHY OUR GANG IS NOW CROSSING THE POTOMAC, ALL OF A SUDDEN SEEING THE SIGHTS THAT ALL AMERICANS SHOULD SOMEDAY SEE FOR THEMSELVES.

(Mike) PETEY, IS THAT YOU?

(Don) AND ONE OF THE SIGHTS AMERICANS NEVER TIRE OF SEEING IS FORD'S THEATRE, WHERE HONEST ABE MET HIS TRAGIC END.

BUT YOU CAN'T CHEW GUM IN THERE, SO CLEVER KIDS HAVE TRANSFORMED THIS LITTLE LINDEN ACROSS THE STREET INTO A TRIBUTE THAT'S AS COLORFUL AS IT IS SANITARILY UNSOUND.

(Mike) I THINK THAT'S SOME WRIGLEY'S.

AND THAT LOOKS LIKE BAZOOKA JOE TO ME.

BEECH-NUT?

BEECH-NUT, COULD BE.

(Don) AFTER STICKING A COUPLE LINCOLNS ON OURSELVES, WE DECIDED TO TRY SOME HOMELAND SECURITY RARE VISIONS STYLE.

YOU DIDN'T TAKE ANY GUM IN THERE, DID YOU?

(kids) NO.

WELL, YOU'RE GOOD AMERICANS.

WE THANK YOU.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY GUM IN THERE, DID YOU?

NO GUM.

NOW, YOU DIDN'T TAKE ANY GUM IN THERE, DID YOU?

ALL RIGHT.

(Don) THAT GUM TREE MUST BE DOING THE TRICK.

AND I MAY HAVE FOUND A NEW LINE OF WORK.

AT ANY RATE, WE HAD JUST ONE THING NOW LEFT ON OUR CAPITAL CITY AGENDA: VISIT A MUSEUM.

THERE'S PLENTY TO CHOOSE FROM HERE: SCIENCE, HISTORY, EVEN A NEW ONE ALL ABOUT SPIES.

BUT THE PRIZE IN OUR EYES IS THIS ONE, THE SQUISHED PENNY MUSEUM, WHOSE CURATORS HAVE THROWN OPEN THEIR HOME TO SHARE THE JOYS OF ELONGATED COINS.

(Pete) WELL, IT'S ACTUALLY CHRISTINE'S FAULT.

(Christine) YEAH.

(Pete) SHE GOT HER FIRST IN 1990.

AND THEN IN 1995, WE WERE TRAVELING IN BERLIN, AND I GOT MY FIRST.

AND IT'S REALLY HER FAULT.

SHE INTRODUCED ME TO THE MACHINE.

I SPENT ALL MY MONEY ON IT, HAD TO BORROW MONEY TO GET BACK TO THE HOTEL.

AND EVER SINCE THEN, WE'VE BEEN ON A SQUISHING MISSION.

SQUISHED PENNIES HAVE A LONG HISTORY.

THEY GO BACK TO 1893.

THEY WERE AT WORLD'S FAIRS FOR A LONG TIME.

AND THEN THE HOBBY SORT OF WENT UNDERGROUND, BUT IT'S KIND OF COME BACK WITH THE COMMERCIAL MACHINES, BECOMING MORE AND MORE POPULAR.

AND THAT'S HOW PEOPLE GET INTRODUCED TO THEM.

(Mike) CL OSET SQUISHERS FO R A WHILE THERE?

UM, YEAH, KIND OF CLANDESTINE SQUISHING DENS.

PEOPLE'S GARAGES AND THEIR BASEMENTS AND THEIR RUMPUS ROOMS.

THIS IS OUR CURRENT EXHIBIT.

IT'S CALLED THE OPEN ROAD: TOURING AMERICA TODAY.

AND IT'S PENNIES THAT YOU CAN CURRENTLY FIND AT ROADSIDE ATTRACTIONS, MUSEUMS, ZOOS, TOWERS.

SOME OF THESE ON HERE DON'T HAVE SQUISHED PENNIES, BUT THEY TOP THE LIST ON PLACES THAT SHOULD, SUCH AS BIG BRUTUS, THE LIBERACE MUSEUM, PLACES THAT YOU'D THINK WOULD HAVE ONE BUT UNFORTUNATELY DON'T.

GRACELAND HAS A KIND OF A FUNNY STORY, BECAUSE GRACELAND PROPER DOESN'T HAVE ANY SQUISHED PENNIES, BECAUSE APPARENTLY THAT'S TACKY AND ELVIS WOULDN'T DO TACKY THINGS.

BUT IF YOU GO ACROSS THE STOCKADE FENCE TO THE UNOFFICIAL SHOPS, THERE YOU WILL FIND SQUISHED PENNIES.

ONE OF MY FAVORITE PENNIES IS ACTUALLY-- IT'S FROM CADIZ, KENTUCKY, WHICH IS THE HOME OF THE HAM FESTIVAL.

AND EVERY YEAR, THEY COMMEMORATE THE HAM FESTIVAL ON A SQUISHED PENNY.

AND WE DO SPREAD SQUISHING JOY WHEREVER WE GO.

BEFORE WE HAD OUR T-SHIRTS, I HAD A SQUISHED PENNY ON A CHAIN, AND I WOULD SHOW PEOPLE WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.

BUT NOW WE GIVE PEOPLE POSTCARDS AND OUR OWN SQUISHED PENNIES, AND WE SHOW THEM HOW COOL THEY REALLY COULD BE IF THEY HAD A SQUISHED PENNY MACHINE.

(Mike) WHAT DOES THE GOVERNMENT THINK OF YOU MESSING UP THEIR PENNIES?

(Pete) PERFECTLY LEGAL... AS LONG AS YOU DON'T TRY TO SPEND IT.

(Randy) CAN YOU HURT YOURSELF SQUISHING PENNIES?

ON THE COMMERCIAL MACHINES, YOU'RE PRETTY SAFE.

YEAH.

BUT ON THE HAND-CRANKED ONES, POTENTIAL FOR ACCIDENTS.

OUR INSURANCE AGENT DOESN'T KNOW WE HAVE THE MUSEUM.

(Mike) HO W DIFFERENT THAN SA USAGE MAKING IS IT, REALLY?

(Don) IN OTHER WORDS, IT'S SQUISHING TIME.

(Pete) ♪ DA.

♪ ♪ (Don) SO ALL HANDS ON DECK, THOUGH HANDS ARE THE BODY PART MOST AT RISK IN THIS PROCEDURE... BE THE PENNY, MIKE.

(Don) SINCE 20 TONS OF PRESSURE ARE NEEDED TO FLATTEN A PENNY.

THERE YOU GO.

ALL RIGHT.

DOES IT STILL THRILL YOU EVERY TIME?

(Pete) EVERY TIME.

(Don) AND EVEN MORE P.S.I.

MAY BE REQUIRED FOR SACAJAWEAS, THOUGH I'M THE FIRST TO SQUISH ONE HERE.

(Mike) COME ON, BUDDY.

YOU CAN DO IT.

YOU CAN DO IT.

YOU CAN DO IT.

OH, YEAH, HERE IT COMES.

I SEE IT NOW.

(Don) OF COURSE, I WAS PRESIDENT OF THE COIN CLUB IN JUNIOR HIGH.

(Mike) WHO'S THE MOST FAMOUS PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS STORE?

YOU GUYS.

[laughter] THAT'S TERRIBLE, MAN.

(Mike) I'M SORRY.

WE SAY THAT TO EVERYBODY, THOUGH.

(Don) THAT IS SAD.

BUT WE WERE STILL HAPPY TO SIGN THE BOOK AND TAKE ONE LAST LOOK AROUND BEFORE BIDDING ADIEU TO THE NICEST COUPLE THAT CRUSHED CURRENCY EVER BROUGHT TOGETHER.

THANKS FOR COMING.

IT WAS GREAT TO SEE YOU.

KEEP ON SQUISHING.

(Don) THIS IS DON THE CAMERA GUY SIGNING OFF.

(female announcer) OWN A COPY OF THE COMPANION BOOK TO RARE VISIONS, COMPLETE WITH TIPS ON WHERE TO FIND FOOD, FUN, AND FASCINATING FOLKS.

IT'S JUST LIKE THE TV SHOW, ONLY IT DOESN'T MOVE.

FOR INFORMATION ABOUT THE ARTISTS, WACKY SITES, AND HOW YOU CAN SEE THEM FOR YOURSELF, GO TO: Captioning and audio description provided by the U.S. Department of Education.

Captioning and audio description byCaptionMax www.captionmax.com (Mike) THEY FILMED THAT FABULOUS SERIES HOMICIDE DOWN HERE.

I LOVED IT.

(Don) WHY IS HOMICIDE OFF THE AIR AND RARE VISIONS-- (Mike) STILL ON.

I THINK YOU'RE DOING IMPORTANT WORK, DON.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME?

WHAT AM I, CHOPPED LIVER?

(male announcer) PRODUCTION FUNDING FOR RARE VISIONS AND ROADSIDE REVELATIONS HAS BEEN PROVIDED IN PART BY SPRINT, COMMITTED TO THE COMMUNITY, CONNECTING YOU TO THE WORLD.