You were watching KBET.

The Quad Cities, periscope to the world.

Up next, local flavor on Bettendorf talks with your hosts David Pasquesi and TJ Jagodowski.

T J & Dave were huge in Nigeria Really?

Oh, no.

I'm sorry.

That was a joke.

I had never heard of them until I started working here.

Okay, what do we got?

Yeah.

Hey, Margaret.

Is it okay if we go ahead?

I mean, is it okay with you?

Nnamdi, you don't have to ask me every time you want to talk.

No.

Yeah.

No.

I'm sorry.

I just don't want to undermine your authority.

I understand that all of this is your baby.

Whoa!

Hey, hey, whoa!

Hey.

Oh, hey.

My sister had her baby.

They named it lever.

Lever.

The simplest tool known to man.

Yeah, if my sister had anything to do with it.

Your sister?

You know, we have a lot to get done today, so maybe we go ahead and just start.

Ok.

Yeah.

Borden Towing is the only 24 hour towing service in town that's actually 24 hours.

So that's the aspect we're going to focus on.

That's what sets Borden Towing apart.

I love it.

There used to be a guy who worked & there sold whippets out of the back.

Solid dude.

Dog or the drug gas?

Dog or drug gas.

What's the difference?

Why are we doing this at all?

The new advertiser wants to do a live appearance.

So we're gonna have a tow truck driver read his own ad?

Oh, no.

He wants to be a guest on the show.

Oh, no, no, no, Let him buy a badly produced commercial like everybody else.

No offense.

I mean, this is a talk show, right?

Not a sell show.

Let's just have an interesting conversation with an interesting person.

The lively art.

Then have a conversation with him.

No, get me a good guest.

Cool.

Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah.

Cool.

I love pitch day.

Oh, stop.

Stop.

Stop it.

Come on.

Talk to him.

Hey, Riley give it a rest.

Fuck!

Hey, speaking of noise, we figure out what that humming was last night.

Oh, yeah, it was Mr.

Kaminsky.

Humming.

Did not know I was doing it.

Well, that's great.

Easy fix then.

Yeah, super easy fix.

I won't do it.

Fixed.

Mr.

K. Oh, yeah.

Oh, Emma had a great idea for a sketch we'd like to run by you.

Oh, no.

It was Nnambi's idea.

I just pitched in.

Okay, that's awfully kind of you.

Which speaks to quality of character.

Come on.

I remember distinctly you came in.

You were wearing that mock turtle neck, and I was mocking you.

And he was like, I think I might have an idea for a sketch like total.

I say, that was, okay, tell you what, nobody will get any credit.

Move on.

Right.

It's about a country singer who uses the words like baby and little girl a lot.

And it turns out she's actually singing to babies and little girls.

Very funny.

Very illegal.

Funny, though actually not illegal in many states Margaret.

Who's going to sing it?

Dave is.

No.

Absolutely not.

That actually is against the law in all 50.

I'll do it.

Unrelated offense.

Why don't we save that for Father's Day?

Do you have anything else?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, who's going to be the guest tonight?

Since the manure shop burned?

Yo u know what that was?

That was an actual tragedy.

What if the new guest is the new sponsor?

Gorboen Towing?

Nope.

Not going to do it.

Sponsors aren't guests.

Roar!

Fire.

Like lots of fire.

And when do you want it?

At the end of the show, when the credits roll, if that graphic could be on the weather map.

We'll see.

She's so fucking hot.

Oh, look who showed up for rehearsal.

I'm here.

I'm always here, dedicated, ready to go.

In fact, as we speak, my daughter is at uncoached soccer practice.

Oh, you coach your daughter's soccer team?

No, I got fucked up with the coach last night, and he's still passed out in our garage.

So what does that have to do with your dedication to the.

Yeah.

What are you playing tonight?

Whatd we play last night?

I don't know, I don't listen.

You played gather all ye rosebuds as ye may and ass to mouth.

Thank you TJ you're welcome.

If you guys are done blowing each other Ill see ya at showtime.

Well, are you?

No, I could blow you some more.

You guys rock harder than The Who.

Then Sabbath, and Accadacca.

Camera one.

What are you doing?

Give me something I can actually use.

Sure.

You ready 2 go 2.

Thanks so much to Doctor Kearns for keeping us up to date on all the goings on at the QC Dental Clinic.

Yeah, and all of his wonderful exotic animals.

Now, for our next guest.

It's never a good thing when you need him, but you're always happy when he shows up.

Any guesses?

The Grim Reaper?

Interesting.

Good divorce attorney.

No, we can keep those on our on the inside of our heads.

We'll be right back right after this word from our sponsors.

And we're out.

And we're out.

Yeah, I wasn't really asking.

Yeah.

Okay, here's your questions.

I think I can ask questions of a tow truck driver.

Hey, 11 letters, super secret.

That's actually a very good question.

I think it's got a couple of E's in it.

Super secret already has 11 letters.

Roll commercial.

Here's the commercial.

Did we could clearance from DC.

We only had to change one letter car trouble.

And so late at night.

What am I going to do?

Car trouble, little lady?

Yes.

Cooper.

Man, what can I do?

Have you heard of Borden Towing?

It sounds familiar.

It's Quad Cities, only 24 hour towing service.

Service?

I love you, Cooper.

Man.

I love you too, Emma Damsel.

Yah!

No!

Oh, no!

Damn you.

Oh.

You look good in a toga.

Oh, thanks, man.

I got my grandma's gams.

How does s he get around?

Oh, you know, she passed away, right?

Five, four, three.

It's never a good thing when you need him.

But you're always glad when he shows up.

The guard in the yard when you're about to get shived?

I imagine.

No, TJ, that's an excellent guess.

But in this case, it is Sal Charlotte of Borden Towing.

Right?

Oh, Boys.

Thanks for having me.

Hey, but what in this world do we truly have except our souls and our hair?

Friends?

Have a seat.

But what do we really have?

Friends.

Oh said friends, be seated.

Great.

So, Charlotte, that is not a a local family name.

No, I've come from elsewhere.

But who is not native to the universe?

Well, no one's not native to the universe.

Right.

Because we're all paisano.

Paizani?

Yeah.

Youre not making this easy, are you, Sal?

It's, It's nice to meet you.

When I was much younger, I used to hang around behind your place.

Oh, yeah?

What were you doing there?

Getting high.

Watching dogs race Well, the dogs are gone.

And so you tow cars.

I mean, what a man does not whom a man is David.

I'm a human being.

Not a human doing.

But, you've been doing.

Yeah.

I tow cars 24 hours a day, quad cities only 24 hour towing.

24 hours.

That's quite a time commitment.

Sure is though.

Actually I wouldn't recommend calling between the hours of four and eight.

But we're ready for your car towing needs.

Yeah.

Accidents, fatalities, pranks.

Raw doggin the clutch.

Pranks.

Shithead neighbors blocking your driveway.

Your buddy gets drunk and takes a dump in your gas tank.

That's like every week Your life.

Your life.

It's a privilege.

What is it?

Whats the card?.

Next card.

Which planets are gas giants?

I'm sorry.

That's not for.

That's for the next guest.

All right.

No.

Yeah, yeah.

What is your favorite national monument?

That comes from our producer.

I don't recognize nations.

Borders keep people apart.

What did you.

What did you do?

Also, a big fan of borders.

The bookstore.

That okay?

Damn few left.

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

Yeah, yeah, probably Kmart up there on your list to, Blue light special.

What did you do as a, as a, as a as a young man?

Well, David, I, dreamed.

I dreamt hard about towing cars from a conveniently based central location, like 14 Pine Street in Rock Island, Illinois.

The best of the five Quad Cities.

Point of order.

Objection!

We have agreed not to make claims as to what is the fairest of all of our fair cities.

Sustained.

We should not use superlatives in regards to the Quad Cities.

Let's see, where were we here?

What the fuck was that?

You know, I see your time is valuable.

Actually, only if time is an objective reality.

It's entirely possible that time is merely.

If you'd like to finish this conversation later, I can always be reached by 309.

The body in the basement.

I'm out.

Where are we?

Can you, pee and we're out.

Fucking freaks.

Man, that guy was so full of shit.

Oh, what did Dallas say?

Slightly more responsibility, way more money.

I am looking forward to your going away party.

I don't know if I'm going to take it.

Why is your old man a fan of these yo yos?

Got any plans for tonight?

This is my starter.

And then I'll probably just stay home alone.

Well, it sounds lovely.

It's not just that.

How much time do you have?

We're back in 30.

Hey, Tim.

You know, you were, you're singing a song about old time murder.

Geez.

I did not know I was doing that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just out of curiosity, whatd I say?

Five, four, three And that is another evening.

We'd like to thank tonight's guest, Doctor Jane Kearns, D.D.S.. Sal Charlotte No, he gets a commercial and an interview No other plugs.

Yeah.

All right, tune in next week when T.J.

and Dave talk with other local luminaries and entertain you.

2 come around to the right and in a little tighter.

God, hes so fucking sexy.

Borden Towing quad citts only 24 hour towing service.

Yeah, can I have a car towed please?

Hey.

Right.

Corolla would be my pleasure.

And we're out.

I'll see you upstairs.

Oh.

I don't know, man.

I thought it was.. Awful?

Right?

It was great.

Right.

It was.

Now, does everyone see why we don't do that?

Yeah, why?

I'm not really sure what the what is that we don't do?

I think it's not have a sponsor on as a guest.

Okay.

The dentist segment was solid.

Albeit boring as fuck.

Yeah.

And I got bit by a Chihuahua.

Chinchilla.

That was a chinchilla?

That was a bright spot.

You know, it just dawned on me, why was a dentist bringing out a dangerous rodent to begin with?

Because it was the dentist with exotic pets.

Oh, right.

Sorry I'm late.

PETA called.

They want to talk to, whoever is in charge.

They can hold.

Do you even want to be doing this?

No.

Absolutely not.

But I have to do this in order to get what I want.

So this is not a conversation we should be having, right now.

Because I am trying to make an actual TV show and we could make an actual TV show if you weren't so pissed off that this wasn't an actual TV show.

Fair enough, Margaret, if I may, is this about motivation?

If it is, I won't get in your way.

But I'm the only one you have to make happy.

I own this station and I love everything you all are doing but figuring this out.

So let's bury this body in the basement.

With the peas and come back tomorrow and try again.

Okay guys?

Tomorrow's Saturday.

Well, have a great weekend everyone.

You know what?

Yeah.

I can always work on something.

I'll come in.

Yeah, I've got a script I could take another Pass at.

Oh, well, you know what?

I think I can come in and help with that.

All right?

Yeah, I can make it in.

Yeah.

Not me.

Guys, I'm heading to East Moline to play laser tag with a bunch of disabled vets who I dominate.

So I'll see you guys on Monday.

They let you cross the river now?

I'll be here.

I'd like to say something, Look.

We are going to get better.

Clandestine?

No, TJ, hopefully quite publicly.

Super secret.

11 letters, super secrets the clue.

So they're not going to make that answer too.

You know, that's where they trick you.

Wanna stop and get something on the way?

Yeah.

Like a burrito.

Uncle Tim?

Mr.

K at work, Maggie.

Right.

Well, also not Maggie.

Touché.

Could you please not step in and deflate any sense of urgency that I am trying to instill in this unmotivated, deeply disorganized group of disparate individuals?

You are totally right.

You want a ride?

I can't leave yet, but thanks Uncle Tim.

Mr.

K. They thought they were going to Bermuda I don't care.

They ended up like a half an ocean away.

Where's your car.

Not parked in yer spot Yes, I parked in my fucking spot.

Okay, well, your car is not there.

That's why I ask.

You want to drive my car?

I'd love to start drinking.

What the fuck is going on here?

I don't know.

Are you sure you drove?

Of course I drove.

You don't lock your car?

No.

Why would I?

It's to protect me.

And I'm not in it.