-Okay.

-Welcome -to kickin it with Kai.

-I'm your host, Kai.

-And today -we have a super dope guest.

-The one and only DJ food.

-Thank you guy, but, -Oh, for sure, dude.

-I'm stoked to have you -on the show.

-And, like, -you obviously are.

-I too am a fan of food, -so what was it about food -that got you so hyped -that you, like, wanted -to name yourself after it?

-Okay.

-Sorry, but I think you may -have misheard my name.

-No, dude, -I've actually had experts -tell me my hearing's -almost -as good as an armadillo, so -I'm not sure that's -a positive thing, -but my name is DJ.

-Yeah, I know.

That's -what I'm saying.

-No f e you food.

-Not food.

Wait.

-What?

-Food means fire in French.

-Whoa!

-You name is deejay fire.

-Well, it's food, -but it means the same thing, -so I guess kind of.

-Oh, dude, that's -even more sick than TJ food.

-Well, I'm glad you like it.

-I love it, dude.

-Okay, so, -TJ, for French for fire.

-What is fire?

-Well, technically speaking, -it is combustion, -which is the process -of rapid oxidization -that produces heat -and typically light -that we call fire.

-Dude, you're -not going to impress me -by making this sound -super complicated.

-Oh.

I'm not.

-I'm just trying -to answer your question.

-Okay, but you can't answer -the question -by just saying fire -after a bunch of random -fancy words, -but nothing I said -was random.

Oh, really?

-Okay.

-Brontosaurus carburetor.

-Plink!

Plop!

Booger -train!

Fire.

See?

-Well, what you just said -was nonsense, bro.

-It's pretty uncool -to come on a show -and insult the host.

-Okay.

I'm sorry.

-What you said -was a beautiful word.

-Salad.

Oh.

Thanks, bro.

-I love salad, -and what you said -was also a beautiful word.

-Salad.

-Thank -you so, -DJ Fue French for fire.

-Say you got lost.

-Okay.

In outer space.

-I'm sorry.

What?

-It's getting dark outside, -and you need to make a fire.

-How would you do that -in outer space?

-Yeah, well, -you cannot do that -because there is no oxygen -in outer space.

-And you need oxygen -to make fire.

-Right, right.

Okay.

Here.

-You're lost.

-Yeah.

On an iceberg.

-Okay.

Totally naked.

-No tools.

-Just you on a piece of ice, -surrounded by water.

-Make a fire.

-Okay.

-Are you familiar -with the fire triangle?

-Oh, on this show, -we actually steer -clear of trigonometry, so.

-No, no, -the fire triangle is -just the three things -you need to make -and sustain.

Fire.

-That is heat, -oxygen, and fuel.

-And since on this iceberg, -there is no heat or fuel, -then there is no fire.

-Got it.

Okay.

Okay.

-You're lost.

-In a super hot desert.

-No no no, -but it's full of sticks -and there's oxygen -like all over the place.

-Let me just clarify.

-How do you do fire.

-Okay.

-When I say heat, -I mean a heat source -in order to cause -combustion, -not simply being in a place -that happens to be hot.

-Dude, I just.

-So many rules.

-Look, there's -just the three things -you need to remember.

-Oh, did you not be even -doper, actually.

-What?

-Like, do -you know, like, the history -of how humans -first made fire?

-Well, -we are still learning -about that, -but there are -several theories.

-Oh.

Sick dude.

-Yeah, talk about that.

-Okay, so the earliest date -for French for fire -talking about the history -of humans on fire.

-People and humans.

-Fire on people?

No.

-Fire and history.

Humans.

-Nailed it.

-Okay.

-So the earliest way it is -thought that humans made -fire is by using percussion.

-Drop it.

-Fire beads.

-No, no.

-Possibly as a -byproduct of flint knapping.

-Oh, so you are hitting -a piece of flint or chert -with another rock in order -to shape it into a tool, -right?

-Okay, but if the rock -you are striking -the flint with is high in -iron the way pyrite is.

-Oh, dude, -pirates are so dope.

-No, no, -you look a tiny bit scary.

-Mostly they're sick, bro.

-No, I'm not talking about.

-Okay, to be totally honest, -I actually find them -absolutely terrifying.

-No, I said berate.

-Dude, can we -just stop saying the p word?

-Fine.

-I'm so -freaked out right now.

-Okay.

-So, look, -if you have a rock -that's high in iron -and you hit a piece of flint -with it, -you have a good chance -of creating sparks.

-Oh, that's lit, bruh.

-Well, it certainly can be -if you do it -next to some Tinder type, -that would be your fuel -source.

What?

What?

-You are banging the rocks -together.

Banging it.

-Spark flies off.

-Your heat -source lands on the tinder.

-The air is flowing -just right.

-Your oxygen and poof -you have fire.

-So that is one way.

-Sometime later -and we are talking -maybe tens of thousands -of years here.

-You have the discovery -of friction fire, -which can be made -in a number -of different ways.

-But my personal -favorite is the bow drill -because it is, -I think, the most -effective way to generate, -the requisite friction to.

-Okay.

-Hello.

-Okay.

Hey.

-Yeah.

Fiction.

-I love fiction.

-No, I am telling you about -friction for starting fire.

-Right.

-What did I say?

Fiction.

-Yeah.

I'm -not hearing a difference.

-Okay, look, -maybe we should continue -this some other time.

-What?

-No, bro, this is so dope.

-Well, it seemed like you -were maybe falling asleep.

-No, dude, I've been wide -awake this whole time.

-Oh, really?

-Maybe we just try not to go.

-Oh, I did, I did.

-Look, man, -I was just trying to -answer your question on it.

-Oh, I did, I did.

-Hey, if you cannot manage -to stay awake -through the answer -to one of your own question.

-Sure.

-Hey.

What's up?

-Oh, are you guys doing -the podcast?

-Well, we were -until this one passed out.

-What time is it?

-Oh, yeah.

-It's way past his nap time.

-And we're back with my guest -DJ food.

-Okay.

I'm leaving.

What?

-No.

Dude come on please.

-This is like my dopest -episode ever.

-This is your only episode -ever.

-Yeah.

And it's super dope.

-Come on.

Please, dude.

-Okay, -we can try this one more -time, -but if you fall asleep.

-This is so unprofessional.

-Yeah, I'm surprised you -actually made it this far.

-I'm just going to go -grab his stuff -because -he's going to freak out -if he wakes up without it.

-You're getting hungry, -by the way.

-Do you want some lunch?

-Oh, that would be great.

-Merci beaucoup.