>> CATHY: IN JUST A FEW MINUTES, THE LEADING CANDIDATES FOR MINNEAPOLIS MAYOR WILL JOIN US ACROSS THE STUDIO ON THE COUCH.

BUT FIRST WE TURN OUR ATTENTION TO POLITICAL VIOLENCE CLOSER TO HOME.

EVER SINCE THE ASSASSINATION OF FORMER SPEAKER MELISSA HORTMAN, "ALMANAC" POLITICAL REPORTER MARY LAHAMMER HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR SOLUTIONS TO ADDRESS POLARIZATION AND VIOLENCE.

THIS WEEK WE HEAR ABOUT A LOCAL COUPLE WHO TURNED THEIR PAIN INTO ACTION IN A SEMINAR CALLED "BRIDGING THE POLITICAL DIVIDE" WITH THE BRAVER ANGELS ORGANIZATION.

>> MY FRIEND, MELISSA HORTMAN, WAS MURDERED IN HER HOUSE AT NIGHT.

SHE WAS A FRIEND OF MINE.

AND I WAS SO ANGRY I COULDN'T -- I COULDN'T STAND MYSELF.

I FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO EAT MYSELF UP.

>> TOWARD THE END OF MY CAREER I HAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO TRAVEL WITH HER AND A GROUP OF LEGISLATORS TO GERMANY TO EXCHANGE IDEAS ON RENEWABLE ENERGY.

>> Mary: INSTEAD OF ALLOWING HER ANGER TO CONSUME HER, ELAINE AMBROSE SOUGHT SOLUTIONS.

>> SHE'S THE ONLY FRIEND THAT I HAVE THAT'S EVER BEEN MURDERED.

I FELT SO ANGRY AND SO FRUSTRATED AND HOPELESS THAT I CONTACTED A COUPLE OF FRIENDS TO KIND OF HELP ME THROUGH THIS.

AND ONE OF THEM SUGGESTED THAT I JOIN BRAVER ANGELS.

>> Mary: BRAVER ANGELS IS A NATIONAL ORGANIZATION WHOSE FOUNDER AND BIGGEST FOLLOWING IS IN MINNESOTA.

THEY ARE INCREASINGLY IN DEMAND TO ADDRESS POLARIZATION.

>> THE LEVEL OF POLARIZATION IS THE HIGHEST SINCE THE 1850s.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THEN.

WE WENT TO WAR WITH EACH OTHER.

AND IF WE DON'T DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, THERE'S A HIGH DEGREE, HIGH CHANCE THAT WE'RE GOING TO HAVE INCREASED VIOLENCE.

>> Mary: THE VAST MAJORITY OF AMERICANS SAY VIOLENCE AND POLARIZATION ARE PROBLEMS.

>> THE WAY THAT WE FEEL ABOUT THE PEOPLE ON THE OTHER SIDE HAS BECOME SO NEGATIVE THAT IT REALLY KEEPS US FROM LISTENING AND IT KEEPS US FROM WORKING EFFECTIVELY ON ISSUES BECAUSE WE DISLIKE EACH OTHER, WE DISTRUST EACH OTHER SO MUCH THAT WE'RE NOT WILLING TO WORK WITH EACH OTHER.

WE EACH PEOPLE HOW TO LISTEN WELL, LISTEN WITH RESPECT, BUT LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND, TO BRING A SENSE OF CURIOSITY TO REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THE OTHER SIDE IS SAYING, AND THEN, IN TURN, TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK THEIR POINT OF VIEW IN WAYS THAT IT'S MORE LIKELY THAT THEY'LL BE HEARD.

THE WAY I AY IT IS, WE KNOW EVERYONE WANTS O BE LISTENED TO, BUT WOULDN'T YOU ALSO LIKE TO BE ABLE TO TELL YOUR SIDE OF THE STORY?

>> Mary: ELAINE DISCOVERED SHE WASN'T ALONE IN HER ANGUISH AFTER THE ASSASSINATION.

>> I COULDN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT.

I WAS SO WORRIED AND HE SAID, I FEEL THE SAME WAY.

>> Mary: YOU AS A DEMOCRAT WAS REACHING OUT TO THE REPUBLICAN PARTY CHAIR AND FOUND OUT YOU WERE FEELING THE SAME WAY?

>> YES, YES.

>> Mary: THE REPUBLICAN PARTY CHAIR IS A WAYZATA CITY COUNCIL MEMBER WHO ATTENDED THE SEMINAR, ALSO ORGANIZED BY THE WAYZATA MAYOR.

>> I ACTUALLY AM VERY PROUD INDEPENDENT MODERATE BUT I ALSO LIKE TO ADD THAT I'M A RADICAL OPTIMIST, IT PUTS ME RIGHT DEAD IN THE MIDDLE TO HELP WITH BOTH SIDES AND TRY TO GET SOME STUFF DONE.

>> Mary: ARE YOU A FORMER REPUBLICAN?

>> I AM.

I'M A RECOVERING REPUBLICAN.

POLARIZATION IS VERY PREVALENT.

AND I CALL IT THE ECHO CHAMBERS ON EACH SIDE WHERE WE'RE JUST TALKING TO EACH OTHER, THERE'S ECHO CHAMBERS.

MEANWHILE, THE MAJORITY IN THE MIDDLE IS GETTING FED UP AND DISSATISFIED WITH THE BEHAVIOR ON BOTH SIDES.

>> WE DO HAVE AH-HA MOMENTS ALL THE TIME.

I THINK ONE OF THE BIGGEST AH-HA MOMENTS IS THE RECOGNITION OF COMMONALITY, YOU KNOW, WHAT ARE THE THINGS THAT WE AGREE ON, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU GO BELOW THE TALKING POINTS TO HOW DID YOU COME TO THIS VIEW, WHAT'S YOUR STORY, WHAT ARE THE VALUES THAT ARE DRIVING THIS.

OUR STARTING POINT IS TO SHOW INDIVIDUALS THAT THEY HAVE AGENCY.

THEY CAN ACT, NOT JUST REACT.

WE'RE SO TRIGGERED BY THE HIGH LEVELS OF POLARIZATION THAT WE TEND TO JUST RESPOND USING A -- USUALLY IN A NEGATIVE WAY.

SO THAT'S THE FIRST STEP IS YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE.

AND THEN TEACH THEM SKILLS.

>> JUST SO PROUD HOW MANY PEOPLE SHOWED UP WITH A LIMITED AMOUNT OF PROMOTION AND WHATNOT.

BUT THAT TELLS ME THAT THERE'S A HUNGER AND A NEED TO CHANGE THE CONVERSATION.

I'VE KNOWN THE AMBROSE FAMILY FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS, AND I CONSIDER ELAINE AS ONE OF THE KINDEST, SWEETEST GRANDMA-LIKE FIGURES THAT I COULD POSSIBLY MEET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, AND SHE ASKED ME OUT FOR COFFEE AND WITHIN MINUTES TEARS WERE STREAMING DOWN HER FACE.

AND I JUST -- I KIND OF -- IT KIND OF STOPPED ME IN MY TRACKS.

WHAT COULD SHE BE SO UPSET ABOUT?

SHE SAID, LOOK, I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT, YOU KNOW, THIS POLITICAL VIOLENCE AND ALL THIS IS REALLY GETTING TO ME AND I'M SAD AND I'M ANGRY AND I'M FRUSTRATED.

AND THEN SHE SAID SOMETHING, BUT I'M PART OF THE PROBLEM.

>> Mary: DESCRIBED AS A PACKED ROOM, RIGHT?

>> YES.

OH, YES, YES, YES, YES.

>> Mary: THAT'S EXCITING TODAY WHEN PEOPLE SHOW UP FOR SOLUTIONS IN THIS ENVIRONMENT.

>> OH, YES.

OH, YES.

IT'S OBVIOUS TO ME THAT THERE'S A GREAT NEED FOR THIS.

SINCE I SORT OF STARTED TELLING MY STORY, MAKING MYSELF VULNERABLE ABOUT HOW UPSET I WAS, I'VE HAD SEVERAL HEART-FELT CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE.

>> Mary: SHE'S NOT DONE YET.

ANOTHER SESSION IS PLANNED FOR NOVEMBER, ALONG WITH ELAINE'S HUSBAND, BOB, WHO WAS A STATE SENATE STAFFER AND LONGTIME RESPECTED LOBBYIST AT THE CAPITOL.

YOU'VE BEEN A PART OF BIPARTISAN WORK.

>> YEAH.

>> Mary: YOU'VE SEEN BIPARTISANSHIP WORK.

>> YEAH.

>> Mary: WHAT DOES IT MEAN THAT YOUR SPOUSE IS THE ONE SPEARHEADING SOME SOLUTIONS RIGHT NOW?

>> I'M VERY PROUD OF HER.

SHE'S LISTENED TO ME ALL THESE YEARS TELLING SOMETIMES TALES OF VICTORY AND SOMETIMES TALES OF WOE.

AND -- BUT IT'S FUN TO