(female announcer) PRODUCTION COSTS FOR RARE VISIONS AND ROADSIDE REVELATIONS HAVE BEEN PAID FOR, IN PART, BY SPRINT: COMMITTED TO THE COMMUNITY; CONNECTING YOU TO THE WORLD.

(man) ♪ WELCOME TO A SHOW ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN SEE ♪ ♪ WITHOUT GOING FAR, AND A LOT OF THEM ARE FREE.

♪ ♪ IF YOU THOUGHT THERE WAS NOTHING ♪ ♪ IN THE OLD HEARTLAND, ♪ ♪ YOU OUGHT TO HIT THE BLACKTOP ♪ ♪ WITH THESE FOOLS IN A VAN.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT, THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ RANDY DOES THE STEERING SO HE WON'T HURL.

♪ ♪ MIKE'S GOT THE MAP, SUCH A MAN OF THE WORLD.

♪ ♪ THAT'S DON WITH THE CAMERA, ♪ ♪ KIND OF HEAVY ON HIS SHOULDER.

♪ ♪ AND THAT GIANT BALL OF TAPE, IT'S A WORLD RECORD HOLDER.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT, THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT, THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ WELL, AT THIS RATE-- WE'RE LOST.

(Don) WE ARE LOST.

DEAR TV MAILBAG, HAVEN'T THESE GUYS EVER HEARD OF MAPS?

HI, DON THE CAMERA GUY HERE, AND AT LEAST I SEE ONE FAMILIAR LANDMARK.

OH, THERE'S CASEY'S GENERAL STORE.

RIGHT THERE.

(Don) I'M NEVER SURE HOW HE KNOWS THESE THINGS, BUT RANDY SAYS THAT MARSHALL IS THE HOME OF A CERTAIN LARGE COMPANY THAT MAKES A CERTAIN KIND OF FROZEN CONVENIENCE FOOD, AND, IF NOTHING ELSE, AT LEAST WHILE WE'RE LOST, WE CAN SEE THAT.

IS IT?

IT'S THE REMNANTS OF THE DREADED POL POT PIE REGIME.

THE KILLER POL POT PIES.

NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH MRS. PAUL'S POT PIES.

SEE, ONCE AGAIN, KIDS CAN LEARN ABOUT THE WORLD AROUND THEM THROUGH OUR TRAVELS.

YEAH, LIKE WE'RE LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE IN CIRCLES.

(Don) WHAT I DO KNOW IS THAT WE'RE NOW NORTH OF THE MISSOURI RIVER, WORKING OUR WAY ALONG HIGHWAY 24 IN THIS WELL-TRAVELED VEHICLE THAT SIGNALS OUR INTENTIONS, AND THOSE WOULD BE, I GUESS, TO SEEK OUT GRASSROOTS ART AND GRASSROOTS ARTISTS AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT CLAIMS TO BE THE WORLD'S BIGGEST, SMALLEST, OR ONLY.

FOR EXAMPLE, JUST PAST BRUNSWICK, WE HAVE HEARD THAT TRAVELLERS OUT HERE IN THE MIGHTY MOST FERTILE FLOODPLAIN HAVE BEEN CONFRONTED WITH A PECAN SO LARGE, IT TAKES THEIR BREATH AWAY.

THERE IT IS.

(Mike) OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

I SEE THE WORLD'S LARGEST PECAN--12,000 POUNDS.

(Don) HOLY SMOKES.

HOLY SMOKES.

LOOK AT THAT THING.

LOOK AT THAT THING.

(Mike) WHOA, THAT IS ONE BIG PECAN.

(Don) I ALMOST THINK THOSE TV WEASELS EXPECTED IT TO BE REAL.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

(Don) IT IS, OF COURSE, A TRIBUTE IN CONCRETE ERECTED BY GEORGE JAMES IN HONOR OF A PARTICULAR STRAIN THAT IS EXTRA-MEATY AND CONVENIENTLY AVAILABLE HERE AT HIS NUT HUT.

WE STARTED IT AT--BRUNSWICK WAS THE PECAN CAPITAL OF MISSOURI.

WE GOT OUR REPRESENTATIVE TO GO DOWN AND MAKE A RECORD OF IT IN JEFF CITY.

BUT IT DOESN'T REALLY MEAN ANYTHING.

(Mike) HAS THE BIG PECAN NEVER BEEN UNDERWATER, THEN?

(George) YE AH, THE WATER WAS TH IS DEEP IN '93 HERE.

OKAY.

(Randy) SO PEOPLE HAD TO SCURRY ONTO THE GIANT PECAN FOR SAFETY?

YOU COULD HAVE FLOATED OUT OF HERE ON THE BIG PECAN, RIGHT?

IT COULD HAVE FLOATED AWAY.

THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A TRAGEDY, WOULDN'T IT?

YES, IT WOULD.

WHAT OTHER THINGS CAN YOU MAKE OUT OF PECANS?

LET'S SEE.

PECAN STEW, PECAN BUTTER.

PECAN SOUP.

PECAN AU GRATIN, YEAH.

PECAN HELPER.

(Randy) PE CAN MELT.

(Mike) SEE, THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

THERE AREN'T ENOUGH PRODUCTS IN THIS INDUSTRY.

YOU NEED MORE PRODUCTS.

WE'RE HERE TO HELP WITH THAT.

WE GOT SOME IDEAS.

(Don) PAY NO ATTENTION; HE'S A PECAN ARTIST.

AS YOU MIGHT WELL IMAGINE, THIS HAS BEEN A PERENNIAL FAVORITE FOR ALL KINDS OF PICTURE-TAKERS AND IMAGE-MAKERS.

IT'S BIG.

(Don) AND FROM HERE, IT'S JUST A SHORT SHOT NORTH TO THE WORLD'S LARGEST GOOSE.

HOWEVER, WE CONTINUED EAST, PAUSING FOR A BRIEF CHUCKLE AT THIS ROADSIDE PHOTO OP.

AS RECORD-HOLDERS OURSELVES, WE'RE WELL AWARE HOW EXCITED PEOPLE CAN GET IN THE PRESENCE OF THAT WHICH HOLDS THE RECORD.

SOMEDAY, I'M SURE, THESE KIDS WILL RECALL FONDLY THAT ON THEIR TRIP TO HANNIBAL, THEY HOISTED THE WORLD'S LARGEST BALL OF VIDEOTAPE, AND AFTER YEARS OF THERAPY, I'M SURE THEY WILL BE FINE.

ANYWAY, WE ENJOYED VIEWING THE SAME VIEWS OF THE MISSISSIPPI AS MARK TWAIN ONCE DID, THOUGH I COULD HAVE USED MORE PRIVACY WHILE MAKING MY OWN SMALL TRIBUTARY.

BUT IT WAS NICE TO SEE HIS PERSONAL RECIPE HAD SURVIVED THE YEARS, SO WE MADE LIKE TOM AND HUCK AND CROSSED OVER INTO ILLINOIS, FUELED, AS WE OFTEN ARE, BY CHOCOLATE ESPRESSO BEANS.

COFFEE IN A BALL.

AND GUIDED BY THE LONG-DISTANCE WISDOM OF MIKE'S MOM.

I THINK WE'VE WORKED ON THAT.

I DON'T THINK WE'RE SHOWING AS MANY THINGS OUT THE WINDOW, AND WE'RE LOOKING AT THE STUFF WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING AT, NOT THE THINGS OUT THE WINDOW, UNLESS, OF COURSE, THOSE ARE THE THINGS YOU WANT TO SEE AS MUCH.

OKAY, BYE NOW.

(Don) I'M NOT USUALLY TOO WELL-BRIEFED ON OUR AGENDA, BUT I DID HEAR SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING ABOUT MOSQUITOES, SO I'VE COME PREPARED.

(Randy) THAT'S NICE.

(Don) I GUESS THE DEAL IS THAT GRIGGSVILLE CLAIMS TO HAVE THEM ON THE RUN, THANKS TO ALL THE PURPLE MARTINS WHO DRAW PAYCHECKS HERE.

THEY'VE GOT MARTINS IN APARTMENTS, CONDOS, EVEN HIGH-RISE HOTELS.

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, I'M THINKING "ORIOLES, CARDINALS, AND BLUE JAYS" AND HOW MAYBE IT'S TIME TO PLAY A LITTLE CATCH.

IT IS A GREAT WAY TO LOOSEN UP, STRETCH OUT, AND SOMETIMES EVEN TRY A LITTLE INTERACTING WITH THE LOCALS, LIKE RYAN, WHO SAYS THAT PASSING TV CREWS STOP TO DO THIS, OH, TWO, THREE TIMES A WEEK AT LEAST.

(Randy) RYAN NOTES THAT YOU STAYED IN FRONT OF IT, DON.

(Don) MAYBE THAT'S ENOUGH INTERACTING FOR NOW, AND I DO REMAIN DUBIOUS ABOUT THAT MOSQUITO THING TOO.

ANYWAY, WE'RE LOSING DAYLIGHT, BUT MIKE SAYS WE STILL MIGHT MAKE SPRINGFIELD IN TIME FOR A COZY-- A COZY DOG, THAT IS, WHICH, AS A VEGETARIAN, HOLDS LITTLE INTEREST FOR ME BUT, HISTORICALLY SPEAKING, MAY REPRESENT THE ACTUAL BEGINNINGS OF THE CORN DOG.

I GUESS THE REAL THING THAT I'M GOING TO ASK IS, WHAT IN THE WORLD MAKES YOU WANT TO EAT A BATTER-DIPPED WEENIE?

DON'T LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU SAY THAT, MISTER.

(Don) I'M NOT LOOKING AT EITHER OF THEM.

I'M JUST EYEING THE SIGN THAT SAYS WE ARE HERE.

(Mike) CO ZY DOG.

(Don) ON A BUSY STRETCH OF OLD ROUTE 66 SMACK-DAB IN THE LAND O' LINCOLN.

THE COZY DOG WAS INVENTED BY MY DAD IN 1945 IN AMARILLO, TEXAS-- WHICH IS ON ROUTE 66-- WHILE HE WAS IN THE ARMY AIR CORPS.

HE GOT MUSTERED OUT OF THE ARMY AIR CORPS-- (Randy) HOLD IT.

"MUSTERED"?

IS THAT A HOT DOG KIND OF REFERENCE?

WELL, IT COULD BE.

OKAY, WHEN HE WAS DISCHARGED FROM THE ARMY AIR CORPS.

ANYWAY, SO HE CAME BACK TO SPRINGFIELD AND BROUGHT THE HOT DOG ON A STICK--HIS CORN DOG-- AND HE CALLED IT A CRUSTY CUR.

AND IN 1946, HE OPENED TWO RESTAURANTS IN THE CITY, AND IN 1949, HE OPENED THIS LOCATION HERE.

IT LOOKED LIKE THAT IN 1949.

HIS VERY FIRST COZY DOG RACK, OR FOOD HANDLER, WAS THREE CLOTHESPINS AND A COUPLE PIECES OF STRAP STEEL.

AND THERE IS A SUPERLANDMARK RIGHT UP HERE, IF I MAY WALK REAL SLOW SO HE DOESN'T GET DIZZY.

I KNOW; I KNOW.

THESE, MY DAD CUT OUT, AND-- ACTUALLY, THESE HAVE BEEN ROTATING UP ON TOP OF THAT SIGN FOR OVER 30 YEARS.

HERE'S THE KEY.

THIS IS THE COZY DOG BATTER THAT'S MANUFACTURED AS COZY DOG BATTER.

(Randy) HAS IT ALWAYS BEEN A THREE-WEENIE DIPPER?

AT ONE TIME WHEN HE WAS DOING THIS, HE HAD DEVELOPED AND CREATED SOME FIVE ONES.

(Randy) SECRET INGREDIENTS?

THEY'RE NOT TERRIBLY SECRET.

THERE ARE DOZENS OF CORN DOG RECIPE FLOURS OUT THERE.

I MEAN, ON THE WEST COAST, PRONTO PUP IS BIG.

CHAIN MALLS ACROSS THE COUNTRY, YOU'LL SEE A STORE CALLED HOT DOG ON A STICK SPONSORED BY OSCAR MAYER.

THEY PROBABLY GOT THEIR FINGERS IN THAT--OR GENERAL FOODS.

(Mike) I HOPE THEY DON'T HAVE THEIR FINGERS IN IT.

THEY PROBABLY DO.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW.

IT'S, UM, CRUNCHY.

(Don) NO, NO BODY PARTS-- HUMAN, AT LEAST-- AND THE BOYS AGREED THEY'RE FAR CRUNCHIER THAN THE CAFETERIA KIND.

IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING, THEY DID PAY FOR THE DOGS, AND BUZZ SEEMED MORE THAN WILLING TO THROW IN SOME FREE STUFF.

ONLY LATER DID THEY DISCOVER THAT IT MIGHT COME WITH A SMALL CATCH.

I DO HAVE TO ADMIT THAT WHILE THEIR BACKS WERE BEING TESTED, SO WAS THE VERY STRENGTH OF MY ANTI-MEAT RESOLVE.

(Buzz) THANK YOU, JASON.

ALL IN A DAY'S WORK.

(man) I THINK IT'S TIME TO SACK THESE TWO GUYS.

(Buzz) NOW, WHO'S GOING TO DO THE DISHES?

OH, DISHES?

UH, WE GOT TO GO NOW.

WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

(Buzz) WH O'S GOING TO DO THE DISHES?

THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.

(Don) IN CASE YOU'RE KEEPING SCORE AT HOME, SO FAR ON THIS SHOW, WE'VE SEEN A REALLY BIG NUT, THE BIG MUDDY, A WHOLE LOT OF BIRDS, AND THE BIRTHPLACE OF A CULINARY LEGEND, WHICH, FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON, WE CANNOT SEEM TO SHAKE.

HOW'S THE AROMA?

THE BOUQUET?

(Don) WE'RE BACK ON THE PATH OF ROUTE 66, WHICH, HAPPILY ENOUGH, IS TAKING US THROUGH PONTIAC, A TOWN THAT MADE IT TO THE RECORD BOOKS THANKS TO TEDDY ROOSEVELT, WHO, WHILE DEDICATING A MONUMENT ON THIS COURTHOUSE LAWN, PRETTY MUCH HONED IT DOWN TO "HERE IT IS.

WHERE'S THE BEER?"

(Mike) WELL, HE KIND OF WAS-- OUR THEORY-- TALK BRIEFLY AND CARRY A BIG SHTICK.

(Don) SPEAKING OF BIG, WE'D ALSO HEARD THAT DOWN THE WAY IN WILMINGTON, THE GEMINI GIANT MAKES IT EASY TO KNOW YOU'RE NEAR THE LAUNCHING PAD DRIVE-IN.

(Mike) OH, THERE IT IS.

OH, NO; THAT'S A MUFFLER GUY.

(Randy) TH AT IS A MUFFLER GUY.

(Don) BUT KLAATU BARADA, HO, JOE, HOLD ON A MINUTE.

WE KNOW THAT POSE.

DESPITE THE MASK AND THE MISSILE, HE'S ONE OF THE TRIBE THAT SEASONED TRAVELERS KNOW AS MUFFLER MEN AND, JUST LIKE HIS COUNTERPART BACK IN NEBRASKA, SIMPLY CANNOT MAKE THE BIG PLAY.

AT LEAST IT PUTS THOSE GOLDEN ARCHES TO SHAME, DOESN'T IT?

HOWEVER, COMING SO CLOSE ON THE HEELS OF A COZY, WE OPTED TO LOOK FOR LUNCH DOWNTOWN INSTEAD.

NOW, I KNOW, WHEN THE MAPS AND THE PHONES START COMING OUT, THAT SERIOUS NAVIGATIONAL ISSUES MAY HAVE BEEN RAISED, AND THIS IS A GOOD TIME FOR THAT, BECAUSE WE'RE ON THE EDGE OF A VERY BIG CITY--CHICAGO-- ON OUR WAY TO AURORA, MYTHICAL HOME OF WAYNE AND GARTH AND VERY REAL HOME OF ONE CHARLES SMITH.

12 YEARS AGO, HIS CORNER LOT LOOKED LIKE THIS, THEN, TO KEEP HIS INNER PEACE PEACEFUL, HE STARTED MAKING ART AND MORE ART AND MORE ART ON IT-- THE KIND OF ART THAT, AS YOU KNOW BY NOW, DRAWS US LIKE FLIES TO A WELL-WORN CORN DOG.

(Charles) THIS IS HOME.

THIS IS HOME-- THE STUDIO, THE ALAMO, THE LAST STAND.

A LOT OF THE PEOPLE THAT DO A LOT OF THE ART SHOWS AND ART TRAVELING AND DOING VARIOUS ART GROUPS HAVE NEVER SEEN NOTHING LIKE THIS.

IF YOU ROLL UP ON IT, YOU'RE NOT SURE-- "WELL, IS HE CRAZY, OR WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

"I KNOW HE'S A VET.

"I MEAN, YOU KNOW, VIETNAM TOO, YOU KNOW, BUT I REALLY DON'T KNOW."

SO THEY'RE NOT REALLY, YOU KNOW, SURE, UNLESS SOMEONE HAS TOLD THEM, "YOU CAN GO OVER THERE.

THE GUY'S COOL."

(Mike) NO LAND MINES INVOLVED.

(Charles) THE AMAZING PART ABOUT IT IS, WHEN YOU LOOK UPON THIS WORK, EACH PIECE HAVE A SIGNIFICANT MEANING OF THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN EXPERIENCE, AND WE SHARE WITH THEM, RIGHT OVER THERE IN AFRICA THE IMPORTANCE, THE HOMELAND, THE CULTURE, THE PEOPLE, THE FAMILY, THE LANGUAGES, THEIR CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE WORLD STAGE, AND SO FORTH.

AMONG THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN LANGUAGE, YOU'LL HEAR THAT WORD USED QUITE OFTEN-- THE MIDDLE PASSAGE.

THAT'S THE DISTANCE FROM AFRICA TO AMERICA WHERE MILLIONS DIED.

THIS IS A MEMORIAL TO THE HENRIETTA MARIE.

THAT'S A SLAVE SHIP THAT WENT OFF-COURSE AND WENT TO THE BOTTOM WITH ALL OF ITS CARGO SHACKLED AND CHAINED TO THE BOTTOM.

AND THIS IS WHAT AN ESCAPED SLAVE LOOKS LIKE COMING FROM THE SOUTH WITH HIS PRIZE POSSESSIONS.

HAD IT NOT BEEN FO R WHITE ABOLITIONISTS, THERE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN AN UNDERGROUND RAILROAD, AND HE WOULD NOT HA VE HAD NO CLOTHES OR NO SHOES AND NO FOOD TO EAT.

IN ART, YOU AIM AT THE HEART, NOT THE EYES OR THE INTELLECT.

(Randy) DO YOU WORK ON ONE PIECE AT A TIME?

(Charles) NO; I MAY BE ON, MAYBE ABOUT 8 TO MAYBE 10 PIECES AT ONE TIME, SEE.

'CAUSE WHEN YOU'RE GOING THROUGH THE WEATHERIZATION PROCESS, YOU CARRY A PIECE THROUGH SO THAT ONCE IT'S SOLD AND USED INSIDE AS AN IN-HOUSE PIECE, IT HAS ALREADY EXISTED OUT HERE AT LEAST FOUR TO FIVE YEARS.

THE MEDIUM IS WHATEVER IS BEING DESIGNED AT THAT TIME TO BRING ABOUT THE POINT THAT I'M TRYING TO MAKE.

THIS RIGHT HERE SECTION IS WHERE I START A PROCESS, AND THIS IS WHERE I MOVE VARIOUS PIECES BACK INTO FORMER STAGES, ANATOMIES, AND DIFFERENT THINGS AND PICK THEM OUT, SEE, AND DESIGN THEM OUT.

WE HAVE OUR WALL THAT WE WORK IN AREAS OF CURRENT EVENTS.

SEE, I'M GOING WITH HISTORY AS IT UNFOLDS, JUST LIKE MANDELA HERE.

THAT'S MALCOLM.

MALCOLM IS POINTING AT AN INJUSTICE.

THIS IS WHAT I CALL ART THAT BELONGS IN THE HOMES ON THE LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS.

THAT'S A HOT PLATE, SEE, AND WHEN YOU HOOK IT UP, THEN YOU WARM YOUR COFFEE ON IT.

IT KEEPS IT WARM.

THAT'S A HOT PLATE TO KEEP YOUR MEALS WARM.

THEY USED TO COME BY AT NIGHT AND KNOCK MY MAILBOX OVER.

SEE, I WAS JUST LIKE THE NORMAL PEOPLE.

SEE, THEM NORMAL MAILBOX.

SEE, WHEN I PUT SAMSON ON IT, SEE, THEY DON'T RIDE BY WITH A STICK AND HIT THE MAILBOX NO MORE.

SEE, WHEN YOU HIT SAMSON, HE AIN'T GOING NOWHERE.

YEAH, I DON'T OPERATE FROM A MOLD.

I DON'T OPERATE FROM A DIRECT PLAN OR WHATEVER.

IT'S ALL EXTEMPORANEOUS, AND IT ALL HAS A SIGNIFICANT PURPOSE AND MEANING WHEN IT'S DONE.

WHAT YOU SEE HERE IS NOT ONLY JUST ART.

WHEN YOU GET INTO THE CHARACTER AND INTEGRITY OF IT, WHAT YOU SEE IS COMMITMENT.

'CAUSE WHEN I LOOK AT THE PLACE AT NIGHT AND SOMETIME AND WALK AROUND, I WANT TO MEET THE GUY MYSELF.

SO NOW THAT IT DONE COME THIS FAR, I JUST MADLY AND GLADLY STAND AND "I DONE THIS BY MYSELF-- ALL BY MYSELF."

(Don) NOW, AT TIMES, CHARLES AND THE CITY HAVE BEEN AT ODDS, BUT SOME DAY, HE HOPES TO CONVINCE THEM THAT HIS GALLERY AND MUSEUM ARE SOMETHING SPECIAL, AND WE COULD HARDLY AGREE MORE.

HOWEVER, IT IS HARD WORK TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH A MAN WHO HARDLY EVER SLEEPS.

AND WATCHING RANDY DRIVE IN SIX LANES OF WINDY CITY TRAFFIC IS NO DAY AT THE BEACH EITHER.

SO WHEN MIKE SUGGESTED A PLACE IN PALATINE WHERE WE MIGHT PLAY A FEW HOLES OF MINIATURE GOLF, WE PULLED OUT OUR PUTTERS AND HEADED FOR... A FUNERAL HOME?

THIS IS A LITTLE STRANGE.

(Don) NOW, YOU CAN'T DO THIS WHEN THEY'RE HAVING A SERVICE UPSTAIRS, BUT WHENEVER THERE'S A LITTLE DEAD TIME, IT'S PERFECTLY OKAY AND HAS BEEN FOR QUITE SOME TIME.

(Mike) OH .

(Randy) LOOK AT THAT.

MR. AHLGRIM BUILT IT BACK IN, OH, '64, '65 WHEN HE BUILT THE FUNERAL HOME.

AND HIS KIDS WERE INTO MINIATURE GOLF, AND HE HAD THE EXTRA SPACE DOWN HERE.

THERE HE GOES.

INTO THE CASKET BOX; OUT THE CASKET BOX IT COMES.

THERE HE IS CHEATING.

DAMN.

(Bradford) WE HAVE A LOT OF SURPRISE 30th, 40th, 50th BIRTHDAY PARTIES.

WE'LL PUT THEIR NAME UP ON THE BOARD.

THEY GO WITH THE WHOLE, YOU KNOW, REST-IN-PEACE, OVER-THE-HILL THEME.

(Randy) UH-OH.

THERE'S, LIKE, A DEAD END INSIDE THERE.

DEAD END, GET IT?

OH!

OH!

OH!

THE COFFEE'S FREE HERE-- THAT FRENCH VANILLA COFFEE.

FREE COFFEE AND FREE GOLF.

(Randy) IS IT GOOD COFFEE?

MINIATURE GOLF.

OR IS IT BELOW PAR?

(Don) YES, ON OCCASION, WE MEET SOMEONE WHO LIKES THEIR WORK SO MUCH, IT'S SPOOKY, SO I THINK WE'LL BID AHLGRIM'S ADIEU AND HEAD FOR THE VAN OLDER, WISER, AND JUST HAPPY THAT AT LEAST WE CAN WAKE UP IN A NEW STATE TOMORROW.

NOW, WE ARE FURTHER AND FURTHER FROM HOME, BUT IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, AT LEAST WE'RE CHECKING THE FLUIDS.

CORN DOG LEVEL'S FINE.

(Don) THIS MORNING FINDS US ON THE SOUTHERN EDGE OF WISCONSIN, AMERICA'S DAIRYLAND AND A STATE THAT'S RICH WITH JUST THE KIND OF STUFF THAT FITS OUR MISSION.

AND, AS MENTIONED BEFORE, AT LEAST ONE ORGANIZATION UP HERE HAS MADE IT A POINT TO PRESERVE AND PROTECT FOLK AND VISIONARY ART IN A MOST COMMENDABLE WAY.

THAT WOULD BE THE KOHLER FOUNDATION.

PERHAPS YOU'VE POLISHED SOME OF THEIR PORCELAIN.

AND HERE ON HIGHWAY 39 JUST OUTSIDE HOLLANDALE, WE FOUND A CREW HARD AT WORK PUTTING ART BACK IN ITS PROPER PLACE AT THE OLD ENGELBERT FARM, BETTER KNOWN FOR YEARS AS GRAND VIEW.

(Katie) NICK ENGELBERT, THE ARTIST WHO BUILT THIS ENVIRONMENT-- HE MOVED HERE IN 1922 WITH HIS WIFE, KATHERINE, AND THEY SETTLED.

HE WAS A WORLD TRAVELER AND ADVENTURER.

THE ORIGINAL HOUSE WAS CLAPBOARD, AND THEN IN 1930--1930s, HE BEGAN WORKING WITH CEMENT AFTER SEEING THE DICKEYVILLE GROTTO.

YOU CAN SEE IT HAD A GABLE ROOF PEDIMENT AND THEN A FACADE ON THE FRONT.

(Mike) THOSE ARE MIGHTY BIG WORDS FOR US-- PEDIMENT, FACADE.

I KNOW.

OKAY, IT WOULD BE LIKE A FRONT THING AND A SIDE THING.

FRONT THING.

GOT THAT.

(Katie) HE WAS AN IMMIGRANT FROM THE AUSTRIA-HUNGARIAN AREA.

HE BEGAN BUILDING ALL THIS SCULPTURE.

MUCH OF IT IS VERY PATRIOTIC AND COMMEMORATIVE TO OTHER IMMIGRANTS OF THE AREA.

SOME OF THE SCULPTURE THAT'S GONE-- IT'S A LITTLE BIT DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND THIS SITE.

FOR EXAMPLE, RIGHT NEXT TO THIS DEER, HERE, THERE WAS AN AUSTRIAN-- THERE WAS AN AUSTRIAN FOREST RANGER, A CORINTHIAN RANGER.

HE HAD A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR, AND THIS WAS ACTUALLY ONE OF HIS FAVORITE VIGNETTES: PAUL BUNYAN LOOKING OVER-- OVERLOOKING SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARVES.

AND THE SIGN FOR PAUL IS, "PAUL BUNYAN ENJOYING HIMSELF IN WISCONSIN PRAIRIE LAND."

THIS TREE OF MONKEYS WITH THE FELLOW DRINKING AT THE BOTTOM-- HE CALLED THIS HIS FAMILY TREE.

THIS MONKEY USED TO BE HOLDING A PIPE, AND THAT WAS NICK.

THIS ONE HOLDING THE BABY WAS KATHERINE, THE WIFE.

THE ONE UP ON THE TOP HOLDING HIS HEAD WAS ORIGINALLY-- OH, THAT WAS ERNIE.

THERE WAS A WOMAN, FORTUNA, STANDING ON THE PEDESTAL IN THE CENTER, AND SHE HELD A CORNUCOPIA, A HORN OF PLENTY, AND WATER FLEW OUT OF THAT.

AND THEN THE CANOPY MUST HAVE FALLEN, SO THESE POSTS-- IF THEY FELL, THEN HE WOULD HAVE JUST REMADE THEM INTO LOGS AND PUT NEW FIGURES ON TOP.

SO HIS-- I GUESS HIS WORK ETHIC WAS TO REUSE.

YOU KNOW, IF SOMETHING FELL DOWN, THEN, WELL, YOU KNOW, INSTEAD OF FIXING IT, "I'LL MAKE IT INTO SOMETHING NEW."

THIS REALLY FELL INTO HUGE DISREPAIR.

THERE WERE WEEDS EVERYWHERE.

PEOPLE WHO HAD FOLLOWED THE SITE FOR YEARS AND REALLY APPRECIATED IT-- SOME HAD TAKEN PIECES THAT THEY SAW AND FEARED WOULD BE STOLEN OR VANDALIZED, AND THEY SAVED THEM FOR 20 YEARS.

WE GOT ONE CALL FROM A FELLOW WHO'D SEEN AN ARTICLE THAT WE WERE RESTORING THIS PLACE, AND HE SAID HE HAD NEPTUNE'S HEAD, SO HE BROUGHT IT BACK.

YEAH, HE'D KEPT IT IN HIS BASEMENT.

ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE US A COPY?

(Don) SPEAKING OF HOLDING ON TO THINGS, IT LOOKS LIKE THOSE TIGHTFISTED TV PRODUCERS ARE ONCE AGAIN AT THEIR GIVE-AND-TAKE BEST, THOUGH I'M SURE THE KOHLERS WILL GET ALL THE TAPES THEY COULD EVER WANT.

THEIR CREW HERE DOES INCLUDE DON HOWLETT WHO, OVER THE YEARS, HAS BEEN A PRIME MOVER AT A GREAT MANY GREAT SITES, INCLUDING THE HIGHLY UNUSUAL PAINTED FOREST JUST UP THE WAY IN THE TINY VILLAGE OF VALTON.

DON IS MARRIED TO LISA STONE, WHO PROBABLY KNOWS AS MUCH ABOUT THESE THINGS AS ANYONE IN THE WORLD.

AND THOUGH WE HAVEN'T MET HER YET, THE MAGIC OF TV PERMITS US TO USE HER TO TELL YOU JUST WHAT ERNEST HUPEDEN WAS UP TO INSIDE THIS LODGE HALL.

(Lisa) HUPEDEN WAS KNOWN AS "THE DRUNK PAINTER," "THE BUM PAINTER," BUT HE WAS HIRED, PROBABLY, JUST TO DO THE STAGE CURTAIN AND THE PAINTED FOREST, AND HE STAYED FOR CLOSE TO TWO YEARS AND DID THE WHOLE INTERIOR, FLOOR TO CEILING, WALL TO WALL.

THE WALLS OPERATE ON SO MANY LEVELS SYMBOLICALLY.

THEY MIRROR THE LANDSCAPE OUTSIDE IN A BEAUTIFUL WAY.

YOU KNOW, HE JUST ABSORBED THE LANDSCAPE WHEN HE WALKED.

AND THEY ALSO ARE IN ALIGNMENT WITH MANY OF THE MODERN WOODMEN OF AMERICA RITUALS.

(Graham) THAT WAS A SECRET FRATERNAL INSURANCE ORGANIZATION.

I WOULD SAY IT CAPITALIZED ON THE CRAZE FOR THESE SECRET SOCIETIES IN THE LATE 19th CENTURY.

THE MAN IN THE BROWN SUIT IS A PROSPECTIVE MEMBER.

THESE TWO PANELS DESCRIBE-- OR CONTRAST LIFE IF YOU WERE FACING IT ALONE VERSUS IF YOU HAD THE SUPPORT-- A MUTUAL SUPPORT GROUP, A FRATERNITY.

HE PAINTED EVERYTHING, INCLUDING WINDOW SHADES, WHICH ORIGINALLY CAME HALFWAY UP.

THIS OBVIOUSLY CAME FROM THIS WINDOW BECAUSE OF THE YELLOW AND RED.

(Mike) WAS THIS DOWNTOWN VALTON?

(Graham) YEAH.

THIS IS WHAT THE ARTIST THOUGHT WAS IT GOING TO LOOK SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE.

SOME PEOPLE SAY 100 YEARS IN THE FUTURE.

(Lorene) I GREW UP ABOUT A MILE AND A HALF FROM HERE.

I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE PAINTING AT ALL, AND I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A SPOOKY, DARK PLACE, AND I DIDN'T LIKE IT AT ALL.

AND NOW I APPRECIATE IT A LITTLE BIT MORE.

(Lisa) IT WAS REALLY DIFFICULT, BECAUSE A LOT OF THE CEILING HAD BEEN PAINTED OUT.

AND YOU'D TALK TO THESE OLD-TIMERS, AND THEY'D SAY, "THERE'S A LIGHTNING AND THUNDER STORM."

THESE WERE GUYS THAT HAD BEEN INITIATED IN THERE, AND THEY USED MAGIC LANTERN SLIDES, AND THEY'D PROJECT ALL THESE THINGS.

SO ALL THIS STUFF WAS GOING ON, BUT IT WASN'T PAINTED IN THE MURAL.

(Don) NOW, VALTON IS DEFINITELY OFF THE BEATEN PATH, AND EVEN ONCE YOU'VE FOUND IT, YOU'LL HAVE TO GET SOMEONE TO LET YOU IN.

BUT TRULY, THE PAINTED FOREST IS A ONE-OF-A-KIND THING TO SAY YOU SAW AND SO, I KEEP GETTING TOLD, WILL BE OUR LAST STOP OF THE DAY.

THAT'S OVER IN MOUNT HOREB, A TOWN THAT TOUTS ITS TROLLS.

EVEN ON THE OUTSKIRTS, I SEE SOMEONE'S GOTTEN INTO THAT ACT.

BUT YOU'D THINK ONCE WE FOUND DOWNTOWN, WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO WANDER, WOULD YOU?

(Mike) THERE'S YOUR DAMN WATER TOWER.

(Don) I MEAN, HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO FIND THE WORLD'S ONLY MUSEUM OF MUSTARD, THE VERY PLACE WHERE THE POUPON U.

FIGHT SONG WAS BORN?

(both) ♪ ON OUR HOT DOGS, ON OUR BRATWURSTS, ♪ ♪ MUSTARD IS SO COOL.

♪ NO CHOLESTEROL, VERY FEW CALORIES, AND MUSTARD EATERS ARE 44% LESS LIKELY TO BE AUDITED BY THE IRS THAN MAYONNAISE EATERS.

(both) ♪ NEVER MAYO, NEVER KETCHUP; THEY'RE AGAINST THE RULES.

♪ ♪ RAH, RAH, RAH.

♪ WE HAVE MORE THAN 2,700 DIFFERENT MUSTARDS, MUSTARDS FROM ALL 50 STATES, MORE THAN 50 COUNTRIES.

(both) ♪ GLEAMING GOLD AND MELLOW YELLOW; ♪ ♪ SMOOTH, ROUGH, SWEET, AND HOT.

♪ DOES MUSTARD EVER GO BAD?

AND THERE'S THE ANSWER.

"IN 1968, A DISGRUNTLED MUSTARD JAR HELD UP A RACINE CONVENIENCE STORE."

(both) ♪ FIGHT, POUPON U.

♪ ♪ WE'LL FIGHT AND EAT SOME LUNCH.

♪ ♪ AT EVERY PROPER TABLE, THERE WAS A SALT SHAKER, A PEPPER SHAKER, AND YOUR MUSTARD POT.

DO WE DEVOTE TIME TO THE LESSER CONDIMENTS?

NO.

(Randy) IS N'T MUSTARD POT ILLEGAL?

[laughing] WE ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO TOLERATE PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE MUSTARD, THE CONDIMENTALLY IMPAIRED.

SHAKESPEARE LOVED MUSTARD.

AH, AH.

[in a high voice] AYE, A DISH I LOVE TO FEED UPON.

[in a low voice] NAY, THEN, BUT THE MUSTARD IS TOO HOT A LITTLE.

WHY, THEN, THE BEEF, AND LET THE MUSTARD REST.

TAMING OF THE SHREW.

AH, AH, AH.

OOH.

OVER HERE, MUSTARDS FROM LATIN AMERICA.

WE HAVE MUSTARD TINS.

HERE'S OUR MUSTARD AND MEDICINE DISPLAY-- MUSTARINE, MUSTEROLE, OLD MUSTARD COMPOUNDS.

THIS IS, OF COURSE, SOME OF OUR ARTWORK.

THIS IS STILL LIFE WITH MUSTARD, MUSTARD PRODUCTS ON PAINTED WOOD, $975,000.

WANT TO GO TASTE SOME MUSTARDS?

(Mike) I WANT TO.

(Mike) NOW, RANDY, STAY AWAY FROM THE USED SPOONS.

(Barry) STAY AWAY.

OKAY.

OKAY, DIG INTO THIS ONE.

THIS IS FROM SCOTLAND.

MAYBE YOU ARE OF THE FRENCH PERSUASION AND YOU PREFER A TRUFFLE MUSTARD.

(Mike) JERRY LEWIS LIKE THAT MUSTARD?

YES, THAT'S ALL HE EATS.

OH, LET'S TRY A REAL HOT MUSTARD.

[wheezing] (Randy) IT 'S A NICE BLEND.

NICE.

YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.

IT KIND OF CLOSES YO UR THROAT, RIGHT?

YEAH.

WE SELL THIS BY THE CASE TO A DOCTOR IN MICHIGAN WHO USES IT IN HIS PRACTICE, BELIEVE IT OR NOT.

YEAH.

DO YOU WHAT DR. KEVORKIAN DOES WITH THIS STUFF?

(Mike) FA-DUM, CHING.

(Don) I GUESS, FOR ONCE, I AM WITHOUT RETORT, EXCEPT I DO RELISH GETTING TO SAY THIS IS DON THE CAMERA GUY SIGNING OFF.

WHY DO WE HAVE A MUSTARD MUSEUM HERE IN MOUNT HOREB?

THE REASON IS--DO YOU REMEMBER MUSTARD PLASTERS?

USED TO BE VERY POPULAR.

YOU'D PUT THEM ON YOUR CHEST.

BPGHHH, THYEH.

GREAT FOR RELIEVING CONGESTION.

BPGHHH, THYEH.

PEOPLE WOULDN'T USE MUSTARD PLASTERS, 'CAUSE THEY SMELLED LIKE MUSTARD PLASTERS.

A DOCTOR CAME AND SETTLED AND OPENED A CLINIC THAT CATERED TO THIS LOCAL AVERSION TO MUSTARD, AND HE SPECIALIZED IN MAYONNAISE PLASTERS.

PTOOEY.

THAT CLINIC IS STILL IN BUSINESS.

NO, YOU CAN'T SEE THEM HERE.

THEY'RE NOT HERE ANYMORE.

THEY ARE IN ROCHESTER, MINNESOTA.

THAT'S THE ORIGINS OF THE MAYO CLINIC.

PBGHHH, THYEH.

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