- [Man] Quiet on set and anytime.

(upbeat music) - [Narrator] On the next Inland Sessions.

♪ What you can't see, I keep myself here for fun ♪ - [Narrator] Singing star and Spokane treasure, Carmen Jane, shares her angelic voice and songwriting talents.

Next on Inland Sessions.

(upbeat jazzy music) - Hi everyone, my name is Carmen Jane.

This is my friend Sam.

We're here to play some music for you, and we just feel so honored to be in this studio playing live.

It's been quite a year for musicians, not a lot of opportunities to play live.

So, this is a big blessing for us.

We're gonna play some songs for you.

This first song is called "Numb" and it was a single I released this past November.

You can download it on Apple Music, Spotify, wherever you listen to music, we'd love for you to check it out.

We're gonna play a little acoustic version for you.

(soft music) ♪ I ♪ ♪ I wish I were numb ♪ ♪ I wish, wish I could not feel ♪ ♪ Feel this anymore ♪ ♪ All of the thoughts that lie deep ♪ ♪ In the pit of my messed up mind ♪ ♪ They guide me blind, guide me blind ♪ ♪ All of the ways that I waited for one to find flaws in my ♪ ♪ My made up high ♪ ♪ My made up high ♪ ♪ How can one do the damage ♪ ♪ Of a thousand on their own, their own ♪ ♪ How can all of the world feel like an army ♪ ♪ On my soul, my soul ♪ ♪ I think I've bottomed out, I think I've bottomed out ♪ ♪ Feels like the bottom now ♪ ♪ Could I go deeper down, I think I've bottomed out ♪ ♪ Feels like the bottom now ♪ ♪ Can't fix this ♪ ♪ I ♪ ♪ I don't have the air ♪ ♪ I don't, don't know how to breathe ♪ ♪ Breathe in like before ♪ ♪ All of the thoughts that lie deep ♪ ♪ In the pit of my messed up mind ♪ ♪ They guide me blind, guide me blind ♪ ♪ All of the ways that I waited for one to find flaws in my ♪ ♪ My made up high ♪ ♪ My made up high ♪ ♪ How can one do the damage of a thousand ♪ ♪ On their own, their own ♪ ♪ How can all of the world feel ♪ ♪ Like an army on my soul, my soul ♪ ♪ I think I've bottomed out, I think I've bottomed out ♪ ♪ Feels like the bottom now ♪ ♪ Could I go deeper down, I think I've bottomed out ♪ ♪ Feels like the bottom now ♪ ♪ Can't fix this ♪ ♪ How can I, how can I ♪ ♪ How can I, how can I ♪ ♪ Oh, how can I fix this ♪ ♪ Oh how can I ♪ ♪ How can I ♪ ♪ How can one do the damage of a thousand ♪ ♪ On their own, their own ♪ ♪ How can all of the world feel ♪ ♪ Like an army on my soul, my soul ♪ ♪ I think I've bottomed out, I think I've bottomed out ♪ ♪ Feels like the bottom now ♪ ♪ Could I go deeper down, I think I've bottomed out ♪ ♪ Feels like the bottom now ♪ ♪ Can't fix this ♪ I was a contestant on America's Got Talent in I think 2013.

It was a crazy experience for me.

I got asked to kind of jump the line and perform for the judges.

And I had this opportunity to get flown to Chicago, and I said, no, and I never wanted to be on one of those shows and they kept pressuring and kept pressuring, and they're like, bring your husband along, we'll fly him too, and you can stay in a hotel.

And I eventually caved to the hotel room and a free flight to Chicago since I had never been, not expecting to continue to make it on the show.

So when I got to the finale, I can honestly tell you that it was a complete shock to me and super scary to be performing in front of nine million people.

♪ I can't hide ♪ ♪ Yeah, you've got that something ♪ ♪ I think you'll understand ♪ I did it and it was a good experience and Spokane was absolutely wonderful to me.

So supportive and kind.

And yeah, I came home to just the kindest people on the planet, which is why I love Spokane so much.

Well, this next song is an unreleased song.

It's called "Blame You."

And when I got asked to be a part of this show, I was thinking about my set list, and I was like, I have no idea how we're going to do this song as an acoustic song.

Most of my music is very pop and there's, it's a lot of heavy synths and tracks and things.

And so breaking it down like this was, was really fun and really special to be able to do.

But this song almost didn't make the cut 'cause I didn't think it was possible.

And then Sam over here put together just a rad little line that gave it like a bluesy folksy feel.

- A little bit.

- So it won me over and we decided to keep it.

So this is our song "Blame You."

(light upbeat music) ♪ Fever burning on ♪ ♪ Can't gain back control ♪ ♪ Chaos taking over ♪ ♪ Won't let this go further ♪ ♪ Kicking myself out ♪ ♪ Won't be held down ♪ ♪ All that you conspired ♪ ♪ Fills my tongue with fire ♪ ♪ Our blood is on your hands ♪ ♪ The beginning of the end ♪ ♪ And I blame you for the dirt in my veins ♪ ♪ Leading to all the pain caused ♪ ♪ Nothing you say or you do meant to save us ♪ ♪ Done seeking the peace ♪ ♪ Never to repeat ♪ ♪ Oh I am no longer evading ♪ ♪ What's always been raging ♪ ♪ Kicking myself out ♪ ♪ And won't be held down, down, down ♪ ♪ Our blood is on your hands ♪ ♪ The beginning of the end ♪ ♪ I blame you for the dirt in my veins ♪ ♪ Leading to all the pain caused ♪ ♪ Nothing you say or you do meant to save us ♪ ♪ Hands ♪ ♪ Our blood is on your hands ♪ ♪ I blame you for the dirt in my veins ♪ ♪ Leading to all the pain caused ♪ ♪ Nothing you say or you do meant to save us ♪ ♪ Fever burning on ♪ ♪ Fever burning on ♪ ♪ Fever burning on ♪ (humming) ♪ Hands ♪ ♪ Our blood is on your hands ♪ ♪ I blame you for the dirt in my veins ♪ ♪ Leading to all the pain caused ♪ ♪ Nothing you say or you do meant to save us ♪ ♪ Hands ♪ ♪ Our blood is on your hands ♪ ♪ I blame you for the dirt in my veins ♪ ♪ Leading to all the pain caused ♪ ♪ Nothing you say or you do meant to save us ♪ ♪ I blame you for it ♪ ♪ I blame you for it ♪ I think if you're honest with yourself about the music and where you're at in your life, then the music will follow you and it will be more real if you can do that.

And I think that falls into every part of what being a musician looks like in these days with social media and videos and all of the things that we have to do in order to make ends meet and make money doing music is we can't be something that's fake.

We have to be something that's real.

And, and so if you can follow that in yourself and follow that in your music, then you'll find success.

Before we play this next song, I just wanted to tell you a little bit about me and how this project came together.

So Sam, are you ready for storytime with Carmen Jane?

Okay.

I have been playing music since I was a little girl and been in a lot of different situations that I've gotten to play live and record and write.

And for the longest time, I felt like I just had not found my voice and I hadn't found the sound that was me.

So when I started this project, I was working with a producer in LA who is actually from Germany.

His name is Nico and I sat down to write with him and these songs just started flooding out of me.

And I was honestly surprised because I had been looking for something for so many years and had landed on different projects that I absolutely love.

I love music of all different genres and types, and this was the first one that was fully me.

It was, it was fully my voice, my words, my sound.

And I only just released, I only just released the first single the end of this last summer.

And so it's been really, really fun for me to be able to have this music to fall back on in a way that is storytelling and sharing my own piece of my life and things that have happened to me and to be able for it to be presented in a way that I'm super proud of because of this producer in LA, who took a chance on me and wanted to make some music.

So this next song is called "Fun," it's actually, it's the first or second song that we ever wrote together.

And it was the first song that I thought I think we might have something here.

So this is, this is "Fun."

(soft music) ♪ Troubled water ♪ ♪ Holding me below the surface ♪ ♪ How did I get here again ♪ ♪ Just another ♪ ♪ Moment before it's all over ♪ ♪ Over again ♪ ♪ The deeper down I sink ♪ ♪ The less I let my body try to ♪ ♪ Get away, get away ♪ ♪ If I break free, this flesh may take me over ♪ ♪ What you can't see, I keep myself here for ♪ ♪ Or it may be much safer to stay under ♪ ♪ What you can't see, I keep myself here for fun ♪ ♪ Below I fall ♪ ♪ Choking upon my own choices ♪ ♪ Stay in the comfort I get ♪ ♪ I just wanna ♪ ♪ Feel all the weight of what I've done ♪ ♪ The weight of what I have done ♪ ♪ The deeper down I sink ♪ ♪ The less I let my body try to ♪ ♪ Get away, get away ♪ ♪ If I break free, this flesh may take me over ♪ ♪ What you can't see, I keep myself here for ♪ ♪ Or it may be much safer to stay under ♪ ♪ What you can't see, I keep myself here for fun ♪ ♪ Let go there's no bottom to the fall ♪ ♪ If I let it take a toll it will find a way to guide me ♪ ♪ Let go there's no bottom to the fall ♪ ♪ If I let it take a toll it will find a way to guide me ♪ ♪ Let go, to the fall, I know, it'll guide me ♪ ♪ If I break free, this flesh may take me over ♪ ♪ What you can't see, I keep myself here for ♪ ♪ Or it may be much safer to stay under ♪ ♪ What you can't see, I keep myself here for fun ♪ ♪ I keep myself here for fun, oh ♪ ♪ I keep myself here for fun ♪ (soft music) ♪ Give it a try ♪ ♪ Climb up out of your mind ♪ ♪ Face all the damage, the damage you've done ♪ ♪ See for yourself all you hold in your mouth ♪ ♪ Face your words, all the words you ever spoke ♪ ♪ Won't you change ah ♪ ♪ Won't you change ♪ ♪ All your madness brings me down, it brings me down ♪ ♪ Say something ♪ ♪ Say something ♪ ♪ All your silence eats me up, it eats me up ♪ ♪ Say something ♪ ♪ Say something ♪ ♪ See your lips move but you hide from the truth ♪ ♪ Think I can't see but I see what you do ♪ ♪ Speak it out loud before time shoves you out ♪ ♪ You'll find that it's going, it's going, it's gone ♪ ♪ All your madness brings me down, it brings me down ♪ ♪ Say something ♪ ♪ Say something ♪ ♪ All your silence eats me up, it eats me up ♪ ♪ Say something ♪ ♪ Say something ♪ ♪ Won't you say something ♪ ♪ Say something ♪ ♪ You dig your own grave oh ♪ ♪ You dig your own grave oh ♪ ♪ You dig your own grave oh ♪ ♪ You dig your own grave oh ♪ ♪ You dig your own grave oh ♪ ♪ You dig your own grave oh ♪ ♪ All your madness brings me down, it brings me down ♪ ♪ Say something ♪ ♪ Say something ♪ ♪ All your silence eats me up, it eats me up ♪ ♪ Say something ♪ ♪ Say something ♪ ♪ Oh you say something ♪ ♪ Say something ♪ I think as humans, we're always discovering more of ourselves and the more life we live, the more experience that we gain.

So for me as a songwriter, I'm just trying to encapsulate those things, those moments, that growth, the pain, the hurt.

And this project Carmen Jane has been the most fun I've had in a long time doing music because it's so personal.

And I think that when a musician connects to their art in that way, when it's personal, and it's a storytelling, it makes the music better because there's an authenticity to it.

So yeah, for me, I hope that I'm just always getting better, that this isn't it for me, I haven't arrived to anything, but that this is just part of the journey, and these songs are, you know, encapsulating the now of my life.

Well, I have one more song for you and I saved this song for last because it's special to me.

And also because it makes me a little emotional.

So I thought I would save it till the end.

This past March, we lost my dad to Lyme disease.

And I wrote this song a couple of weeks after he passed.

And this phrase just kept ringing in my ears over and over again, as I was writing and we talked about death a lot, he was sick for many years.

And so, this wasn't like a surprise thing for us.

And he always used to say, "You're gonna be just fine.

You're gonna be just fine."

When he was alive, I thought that was really silly because I didn't look at losing him as something that would make me okay.

The truth is there is a lot to grief and the more I wade through it, the more I realize that I am fine.

In a lot of ways, I am fine.

In a lot of ways, I'm not.

And so, as I was writing this song, I felt it was so simple and I kept trying to rewrite the ending and rewrite the ending because I thought it was just too simple.

But the more that I wrote it and the more that it evolved, I realized that the simplicity was exactly what the song needed.

So this song is called "Just Fine."

(soft piano music) ♪ Slowly it sets in over time ♪ ♪ Suddenly I realize that there's a fog that's set in ♪ ♪ Tremble as you fade out of sight ♪ ♪ I'm scared to open my eyes in fear of what is missing ♪ ♪ Maybe I don't, oh I don't, maybe I don't wanna know ♪ ♪ Maybe I don't, oh I don't, maybe I don't wanna know ♪ ♪ You said I'd be just fine, you lied ♪ ♪ Left my body here to breathe without you ♪ ♪ Goodbye don't feel fine ♪ ♪ Said I would be alright, don't cry ♪ ♪ I once taught you how to breathe even when ♪ ♪ Goodbye don't feel fine ♪ ♪ Wish that I could silence the ache ♪ ♪ And yet the feeling of pain will now be our connection ♪ ♪ But if I accept this new fate ♪ ♪ A world without you remains ♪ ♪ I don't think I can face it ♪ ♪ Maybe I don't, oh I don't, maybe I don't wanna know ♪ ♪ Maybe I don't, oh I don't, maybe I don't wanna know ♪ ♪ You said I'd be just fine, you lied ♪ ♪ Left my body here to breathe without you ♪ ♪ Goodbye don't feel fine ♪ ♪ Said I would be alright, don't cry ♪ ♪ I once taught you how to breathe even when ♪ ♪ Goodbye don't feel fine ♪ ♪ You said I'd be just fine, you lied ♪ ♪ Left my body here to breathe without you ♪ ♪ Goodbye don't feel fine ♪ ♪ Said I would be alright, don't cry ♪ ♪ I once taught you how to breathe even when ♪ ♪ Goodbye don't feel fine ♪ ♪ Maybe I don't, oh I don't, maybe I don't wanna know ♪ ♪ Maybe I don't, oh I don't, maybe I don't wanna know ♪ Thank you so much for joining today's Inland Sessions.

Again, my name is Carmen Jane, you can follow me on Instagram, Facebook, you can find my music anywhere that you stream music.

Thank you so much for joining us, it was a privilege to be here.

(upbeat jazzy music)