(man) ♪ WELCOME TO A SHOW ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN SEE ♪ ♪ WITHOUT GOING FAR, AND A LOT OF THEM ARE FREE.

♪ ♪ IF YOU THOUGHT THERE WAS NOTHING ♪ ♪ IN THE OLD HEARTLAND, ♪ ♪ YOU OUGHT TO HIT THE BLACKTOP ♪ ♪ WITH THESE FOOLS IN A VAN.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT, THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ RANDY DOES THE STEERING SO HE WON'T HURL.

♪ ♪ MIKE'S GOT THE MAP, SUCH A MAN OF THE WORLD.

♪ ♪ THAT'S DON WITH THE CAMERA, ♪ ♪ KIND OF HEAVY ON HIS SHOULDER.

♪ ♪ AND THAT GIANT BALL OF TAPE, IT'S A WORLD RECORD HOLDER.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT, THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT, THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ (Don) DEAR TV MAILBAG, DOES THIS MEAN WE'VE UPSET SOMEONE?

HI, DON THE CAMERAMAN HERE.

AFTER A HARD NIGHT'S DRIVING, I AWOKE TO FIND MYSELF IN OKLAHOMA, MUSKOGEE, TO BE EXACT, WHERE WE'D SPENT THE NIGHT IN ONE OF THOSE MOTELS WITH A NUMBER BIGGER THAN FIVE AND SMALLER THAN SEVEN AND HAVE NOW MOVED ON TO THE CORPORATE CLUTCHES OF A GIANT FOOD RETAILER'S DRIVE-THRU WINDOW.

YOUR COFFEE'S BIGGER THAN THAT, RIGHT?

THAT'S WHAT THEY GIVE YOU AT THE MOTEL UP THE ROADS, THE THUMBELINA-SIZE COFFEE.

(Don) NOW, MUSKOGEE MAY BE A FASCINATING PLACE WITH LOTS TO SEE AND DO.

BUT HERE ON THE OUTSKIRTS, THE PICKIN'S KIND OF SLIM.

THOUGH WHEN IT COMES TO HUBCAPS, THIS PLACE DOES KICK THE BABY MOONS OFF THAT HILL WE PASSED BACK IN MISSOURI.

DIDN'T STOP THEN, AND WE'RE NOT STOPPING NOW, NOT WITH SO MUCH ART AND SO MANY ATTRACTIONS TO TRY AND SQUEEZE IN.

BESIDES, I JUST TAKE THE PICTURES.

THESE HIGH-PRICED PRODUCERS USE THEIR UNCANNY SKILLS TO FIGURE OUT WHERE WE'RE GOING NEXT AND HOW TO GET THERE.

(Mike) THE BIG BLUE WHALE?

(Randy) BI G BLUE WHALE.

(Mike) IN OKLAHOMA?

NO ONE HAS EXPLAINED SUITABLY WHY THERE'S A BIG BLUE WHALE, WHICH IS REASON ENOUGH FOR US TO WANT TO FIND IT.

(Don) NOW, YOU WOULD THINK THAT WITH PROPER RESEARCH, THE EXACT WHEREABOUTS OF ANY GIANT BLUE MAMMAL NEAR CATOOSA, WHICH IS TO SAY, NOT FAR FROM TULSA, SHOULD BE EASILY DETERMINED EVEN FOR THE NAVIGATIONALLY CHALLENGED.

WE HAD KIND OF COMPETING DIRECTIONS, THERE.

WE HAD THE LADY WITH THE YELLOW TRUCK VERSUS THE LADY BEHIND THE COUNTER.

(Mike) YEAH, MY FEELING IS, GO RIGHT.

(Randy) RE ALLY?

NO, GO LEFT.

I THINK MY FEELING IS, GO LEFT.

(Mike) DAY FOUR: DISSENSION IN THE CAR.

(Randy) WHAT STARTED OUT AS A SIMPLE JOURNEY FROM MUSKOGEE HAS TURNED INTO A CIRCUITOUS ROUTE FROM HELL.

(Mike) IT'S LIKE A BAD DREAM.

(Don) STARTING WITH THAT MOTEL WITH THE NUMBER.

THERE IT IS!

WHOA, HIT THE BRAKES.

[tires squealing] (Randy) THIS IS IT APPARENTLY.

IN ITS TIME AND PLACE, I'M SURE IT WAS QUITE A RECREATIONAL HOT SPOT.

PROBABLY KIDS WERE LEAPING OUT OF THE WHALE'S MOUTH.

IT'S A PINOCCHIO FANTASY COME ALIVE.

THIS JUST REMINDS ME OF THE SCIENTIFIC PART OF THE SHOW.

AMBERGRIS IS, LIKE, WHALE VOMIT THAT THEY MAKE-- IT'S LIKE, ONE OF THE KEY INGREDIENTS IN EXPENSIVE PERFUME.

WHOA, YUCK.

SO I DON'T KNOW IF THERE WAS ANY OF THAT EXTRACTED OUT HERE OR NOT.

COULD SMELL IT FROM HERE, WHOO.

(Randy) WE'D JUST LIKE TO INCLUDE, OCCASIONALLY, A LITTLE BIT OF SCIENCE IN THE PROGRAM.

ACTUALLY, MAYBE WILL ROGERS USED TO COME HERE.

WHO KNOWS?

(Don) THAT SOUNDS LIKE MY CUE TO SHOW YOU WHERE WE WENT NEXT.

NOW, I'M SURE THAT IF WILL HAD LIVED LONG ENOUGH, HE'D HAVE NEVER MET A BALL OF VIDEOTAPE HE DIDN'T LIKE, EITHER.

THE FAMOUS OKLAHOMAN IS REMEMBERED FONDLY IN THIS MUSEUM UP ON A HILL IN CLAREMORE, WHICH MADE A LOVELY SITE FOR PLAYING SOME QUICK CATCH IN YET ANOTHER STATE.

DOESN'T SAY "NO PEPPER" ANYWHERE.

(Don) NOW, PLENTY OF BIG NETWORK SHOWS LIKE GOOD MORNING AMERICA, HAVE BEEN HERE, BUT NOT A ONE HAS DRIVEN THE 20 SHORT MILES TO COLLINSVILLE, LIKE WE ARE, TO SHOW YOU THE FENCE, ALL 250 FEET OF IT ON JACK METCALF'S FRONT LAWN.

AND IT'S STILL GROWING.

(Jack) I HAD TO ASK A LOT OF PEOPLE WHEN I GOT IT WHAT THE THING WAS, YOU KNOW?

AND THEN WHEN I ADDED STUFF-- I'M A MACHINIST BY TRADE.

AND A MAN BY THE NAME OF MADISON DOWN IN-- WAS A WELDER AND STUFF-- BLACKSMITH IN COLLINSVILLE.

AND HE STARTED IT WITH THIS BIG SECTION UP HERE WITH THE WRENCHES.

HE BUILT IT UP IN THE-- HAD IT AROUND HIS PLACE HERE IN COLLINSVILLE, AND THE CHURCH BOUGHT HIS PROPERTY AFTER HE DIED.

AND I RESTORED IT AND RE-PUT IT.

A LOT OF THINGS WAS BROKEN OUT.

AND YOU CAN SEE CUT TORCHES HERE, COW BELLS, SPOONS.

THIS IS A OIL WELL DRILLING BIT.

WHAT--YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?

THAT'S A HAY SAW, WHAT THEY SAWED LOOSE HAY THAT WAS STACKED.

MOST OF THEM, YOU JUST START AND FILLED IT IN AS YOU WENT.

AS YOU GOT STUFF, YOU JUST PUT IT IN.

I DIDN'T TRY TO MAKE IT PRETTY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

YOU JUST SET UP TWO POLES TO PUT IN, THEN YOU JUST FILL IT IN.

START AT ONE END, WELD STUFF IN.

DO YOU FEEL LIKE IT'S PRETTY, THOUGH, NOW THAT IT'S DONE?

WELL, I THINK SO, YEAH.

THAT'S A PIPE WRENCH.

THAT'S NOT-- THAT'S A WHOLE-- THAT'S A WORKING PIPE--YES.

THIS WRAPS AROUND YOUR PIPE, AND THIS WAS THE TEETH THAT HELD IT.

YOU HAD TO BE PRETTY MUCH OF A HORSE TO USE SUCH A THING.

YOU WANT TO COME AND SEE, MR. CAMERAMAN?

JUST OPEN UP THE GATE AND LET HIM IN.

THIS WAS AN OLD TREADLE SEWING MACHINE, AND THOSE WERE ROTARY BITS, AND THIS WAS AN OLD STATIONARY BIT HERE.

THIS IS ONE OF THE MODERN-- THIS IS A LATE-'40s PITCHER PUMP.

THAT'S MY NEIGHBOR; HE IS-- HOW DO THE NEIGHBORS FEEL ABOUT LOOKING OVER AND SEEING-- YEAH, THAT'S FINE.

HE LIKES IT.

HE'S--HE'S PRESIDENT OF THE BANK OF THE LAKES DOWN-- I SHOULD HAVE GOT HIM OVER HERE AND GOT HIM ON TELEVISION.

SOME PEOPLE SAYS IT'S ART.

SOME PEOPLE SAYS IT'S JUNK, AND SOME PEOPLE JUST TAKE IT FOR GRANTED, YOU KNOW?

(Mike) WHAT DO YOU TAKE IT?

(Jack) WELL, I JUST PUT IT UP HERE FOR PEOPLE TO LOOK AT, AND I HAD PEOPLE FROM CHICAGO AND NEBRASKA AND GEORGIA AND CALIFORNIA.

(Mike) YOU LIKE THAT?

YEAH, THAT'S WHY IT'S THERE.

YOU SAID YOU PUT IT UP SO PEOPLE WOULD LOOK AT IT.

RIGHT, PEOPLE COME SEE IT.

IT'S FREE OF CHARGE.

(Don) AND LIKE LIFE ITSELF, THE FENCE IN COLLINSVILLE IS AN ONGOING PROCESS WHICH JACK PLANS TO KEEP GOING ON WITH, BRINGING THINGS OUT OF HIS GARAGE AS TIME ALLOWS.

UNFORTUNATELY, OUR TIME WILL NOT ALLOW MUCH FOR THINGS LIKE LUNCH THANKS TO THAT DAMN BLUE WHALE-- SORRY, THE DAMNED OOLEGA, WHICH WE DID NOT HAVE TIME TO ENJOY MUCH EITHER, BECAUSE RANDY FELT COMPELLED TO KEEP THE PEDAL TO THE METAL TO GET TO AND MORE FULLY ENJOY WHAT HE TERMED "A ROADSIDE ATTRACTION OF THE HIGHEST ORDER."

YOUR JAW-DROPPING FACTOR IS HIGH IS WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL ME?

EVERYONE SEE IF THEY GO "WHOO."

(Don) NOW, I HAVE TO ADMIT A SEVEN-STORY CONCRETE TOTEM POLE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE DOES TEND TO CATCH YOUR EYE.

THIS WOULD BE ED GALLOWAY'S TOTEM POLE PARK ON HIGHWAY 28-A JUST OUTSIDE THE LITTLE TOWN OF FOYIL.

AFTER ED'S PASSING IN THE EARLY '60s, THINGS FELL INTO DISREPAIR.

BUT THANKS TO THE KANSAS GRASSROOTS ART ASSOCIATION, THE K.G.A.A.

FOR SHORT, THIS UNIQUE PIECE OF AMERICANA HAS BEEN COLORFULLY COMING BACK TO LIFE.

(Carolyn) THEY MOVED OUT HERE IN 1937, AND HE COMPLETED THE TOTEM POLE IN 1948.

HE ORIGINALLY WAS A WOOD CARVER.

HE REALLY HADN'T DONE MASONRY UNTIL HE CAME OUT HERE.

(Randy) WHAT WAS ED GALLOWAY GOING TO GET OUT OF HAVING THIS ON HIS PROPERTY?

OH, I THINK HE JUST ENJOYED DOING IT, AND HE ENJOYED HAVING PEOPLE LOOK AT IT AND SHARING WITH EVERYBODY AND HAVING THEM STOP BY AND VISITING WITH HIM.

AND HE LIKED TO GIVE THINGS AWAY.

HE SAID--YOU KNOW, HE FELT THAT THAT WAS IMPORTANT, TO GIVE SOMETHING THAT YOU HAD MADE, TO GIVE IT AWAY.

HE DIDN'T SELL A LOT OF THINGS.

ED WAS KIND OF A STRANGE PERSON, ACTUALLY, FROM WHAT RESEARCH I'VE DONE.

A MAN 82 YEARS OLD OUT HERE, YOU KNOW, WORKING UP IN THE AIR 90 FEET ALMOST, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T SAY THAT'S AVERAGE.

NOW, HE DID, I'M PRETTY SURE, HAVE A GREAT ADMIRATION FOR THE AMERICAN INDIAN.

EVEN THOUGH HE WAS NOT ANY PART INDIAN HIMSELF, HE DID ADMIRE THEM A GREAT DEAL.

PRIOR TO ITS BEING RESTORED, IT HAD, REALLY, VERY LITTLE APPEAL TO ANYBODY.

IT WAS LIKE THAT TOP PIECE UP THERE, SEE?

YOU CAN'T HARDLY EVEN TELL THERE WAS ANY ARTWORK INVOLVED.

SO IF THE KANSAS GRASSROOTS ART ASSOCIATION DIDN'T TAKE AN INTEREST IN THIS AND DIDN'T RESTORE IT, WHICH IS WHAT THEY ARE DOING ALMOST 100% ON THEIR OWN, IT WOULD BE JUST ANOTHER PIECE OF CEMENT STICKING IN THE AIR.

(Carolyn) HE WAS ALWAYS TAKING ALL THE TOURISTS AND ALL THE PEOPLE THAT STOPPED INTO THE HOUSE TO SEE WHAT HE HAD MADE.

AND HIS WIFE SAID, "WHY DON'T YOU BUILD SOMETHING "TO SHOW AND TELL YOUR OWN THINGS IN ANOTHER PLACE SO I CAN KEEP MY HOUSE TO MYSELF?"

AND SO HE BUILT THE FIDDLE HOUSE THEN AND HAD THE FIDDLES HANGING OUT THERE, A LOT OF OTHER THINGS THAT HE MADE-- FURNITURE AND PICTURES AND CARVINGS.

NOW, THE THING I THINK IS EXCITING ABOUT THIS BUILDING IS THAT THIS IS ALL ORIGINAL.

MM-HMM.

I MEAN, THIS HAS NOT BEEN REPAINTED AT ALL.

THIS IS ALL LIKE IT WAS.

I LIKE HOW HE PUT THE PAINTINGS RIGHT INTO THE CONCRETE, RIGHT IN THE TREE BRANCH.

(Carolyn) I MEAN, HE JUST WAS CREATIVE AS HECK.

HE TOLD HIS WIFE HE WAS GOING TO BUILD A TREE.

AND SHE SAID, "WELL, TOTEM POLES ARE MADE BY FOOLS LIKE THEE, BUT ONLY GOD CAN MAKE A TREE."

SO HE CAME OUT AND MADE THAT TREE.

HE JUST WANTED TO SHOW HER THAT HE COULD MAKE A TREE ALSO.

(Randy) WOULD YOU HAVE LIKED TO MET ED GALLOWAY?

(Jim) SURE, YEAH, I THINK I'D LIKE TO HAVE MET HIM, YEAH.

HE'S KIND OF A NUT LIKE ME, I GUESS.

WORKS ALL THE TIME, YOU KNOW.

I THINK HE WANTED TO LEAVE SOMETHING SO THAT FOLKS LIKE US COULD STAND OUT HERE AFTER HE WAS GONE AND KIND OF ADMIRE HIS WORK, YEAH.

HE WAS VERY PROUD OF IT WHEN HE WAS ALIVE.

(Don) AT ONE TIME, THIS WAS A VERY BUSY ROAD WITH LOTS OF TRAFFIC TO AND FROM THE LAKE.

PEOPLE WOULD STOP TO TAKE A LOAD OFF AND HAVE A BITE TO EAT.

AND I DON'T MEAN JUST PRETZELS.

IN FACT, I'M THINKING IT WAS THE LACK OF FOOD AND MAYBE THE BEGINNING OF A HEATSTROKE THAT ACCOUNTS FOR PICTURES LIKE THESE.

EVEN THOUGH I WAS EVENTUALLY RESCUED, I FELT COMPELLED TO POINT OUT THAT THEY WOULD BE HEARING A LOT OF FOUR-LETTER WORDS FROM BACK HERE UNLESS WE STOP SOON FOR THESE PARTICULAR THREE.

THERE, THAT'S BETTER.

NOW I CAN SETTLE BACK FOR SOME SERIOUS TURNPIKE DRIVING, SOMETHING THERE SEEMS TO BE A LOT OF IN NORTHEAST OKLAHOMA, THOUGH THE EXACT METHOD OF PAYMENT DID SEEM TO BE GIVING RANDY A LITTLE BIT OF TROUBLE.

A REFUND?

(Don) GUESS HE'S JUST TRYING TO MAKE SURE THOSE PUBLIC TV DOLLARS ARE AS WELL SPENT AS THEY CAN BE, OR HE'S EVEN SLOWER THAN I FEARED.

(Randy) WE DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS OKLAHOMA TURNPIKE THING.

WELL, IF YOU CAN READ ALL THE SIGNS, THEY EXPLAIN IT TO YOU.

OKAY, THANKS.

THAT'S PROBABLY IT.

HOW MUCH DID YOU GET BACK?

I GOT 50¢ BACK.

ALL RIGHT.

DID SHE JUST DIS ME?

(Don) THAT WOULD BE AFFIRMATIVE.

BUT AS I ALWAYS SAY, "IF THE SHOE FITS"-- ANYWAY, WE WERE DONE WITH TOLL ROAD DRIVING FOR A WHILE, WHICH IS KIND OF NICE, BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU DISCOVER THINGS IN SMALL TOWNS, LIKE THAT MIAMI IN FLORIDA ISN'T THE ONLY ONE TO GET TOO EXCITED ABOUT IT HERE.

NOW THE DAY WAS RACING TO A CLOSE, AND WE WERE CHUGGING TO THE NORTH WITH EVERYTHING LOOKING PERFECTLY NORMAL UNTIL WE HIT THE PILES OF PICHER, JACKPILES THEY CALL 'EM LEFT OVER FROM THE MINES THAT RAVAGED THE LAND TILL IT LOOKED, MORE OR LESS, LIKE THE SURFACE OF THE MOON-- OR AT LEAST WHERE I THINK THEY FAKED THAT LANDING.

WE WERE TOO LATE FOR THE MUSEUM, BUT THIS WHOLE TOWN IS A KIND OF MUSEUM.

AND AFTER SEEING WHAT JACK HAD BUILT, WE FIGURED IT BEST TO KEEP ON HEADING STRAIGHT FOR THE KANSAS STATE LINE.

JUST PAST IT, ON WHAT USED TO BE ROUTE 66 IN THE TINY TOWN OF RIVERTON, WE FOUND THE WELCOMING LIGHTS OF EISLER'S GROCERY, STILL DOING MUCH THE SAME KIND OF THING IT WAS IN 1926, WHEN THE MOTHER ROAD OPENED RIGHT NEXT TO IT.

AND THE OWNER KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO THE SONG.

♪ IF YOU EVER PLAN TO MOTOR WEST, ♪ ♪ TRAVEL MY WAY, ♪ ♪ TAKE THE HIGHWAY.

♪ ♪ THAT'S THE BEST.

♪ IT'S NOT LIKE WE PLANNED TO DO THIS.

YOU KNOW, WE DIDN'T PLAN TO HAVE A GIFT SHOP THAT WAS PROBABLY THE BEST-STOCKED ON ROUTE 66.

AND THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE TELL US.

IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WORKED OUT NICELY.

♪ IT WINDS FROM CHICAGO TO L.A. ♪ YOU OUGHTA BE HERE WHEN THE SMITHSONIAN BUS TOUR COMES THROUGH AND THERE'S 40 PEOPLE WALKING AROUND THIS ROOM.

AND THE FLOOR'S GOING, LIKE, YOU KNOW.

BUT THEY DON'T COMPLAIN TOO MUCH.

♪ NOW, YOU GO THROUGH ST. LOUIS, ♪ ♪ JOPLIN, MISSOURI, ♪ ♪ AND OKLAHOMA CITY IS MIGHTY PRETTY.

♪ ♪ YOU'LL SEE AMARILLO.

♪ WELL, THIS IS A HANDMADE ROUTE 66 WHISTLE-- [toots whistle] A WOODEN WHISTLE THAT YOU PROBABLY WON'T FIND ANYWHERE ELSE.

♪ FLAGSTAFF, ARIZONA.

♪ ♪ DON'T FORGET WINONA.

♪ I DON'T KNOW IF YOU COULD WALK INTO MANY PLACES AND BUY BURMA SHAVE.

♪ KINGMAN, BARSTOW, SAN BERNADINO.

♪ ♪ WON'T YOU GET HIP TO THIS TIMELY TIP-- ♪ ROUTE 66 COLOGNE.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE SEEN ANY OF THAT.

(Randy) HOW DOES THE KANSAS PORTION SMELL?

THEY LIKENED IT TO ROADKILL.

♪ WHEN YOU MAKE THAT CALIFORNIA TRIP, ♪ ♪ GET YOUR KICKS ON ROUTE 66.

♪ (Randy) YOU'RE NEITHER ONE OF THOSE GUYS.

THOSE ARE MY COUSINS, SO-- I'M BETTER LOOKING THAN THEY ARE.

♪ GET YOUR KICKS ON ROUTE 66.

♪ ♪ (Don) NOW, IN A PERFECT WORLD, WE'D KNOW IT WAS TIME TO CALL IT A DAY.

BUT, OH, MY ACHING SHOULDER, THESE GUYS NEVER KNOW WHEN TO QUIT.

WHAT ABOUT THAT SPOOK LIGHT?

I'VE BEEN THERE.

BELIEVE ME, IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING, YOU'LL NEVER FIND IT.

THAT IS NO JOKE, 'CAUSE I CAN TAKE YOU DOWN THERE AND LOSE YOU IN NOTHING FLAT.

(Don) I DON'T SUPPOSE IT TAKES A GENIUS TO FIGURE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

♪ SEE ME.

♪ ♪ SCARE ME.

♪ ♪ (Don) AS SPOOK LIGHTS GO, THIS ONE'S GOT A LONG HISTORY OF SPOOKING PEOPLE IN FOUR DIFFERENT STATES.

WHETHER IT'S SWAMP GAS OR SOME SUPERNATURAL PHENOMENA, NO ONE'S EVER GOTTEN A PICTURE.

SO I DON'T SUPPOSE THIS HIGH-TECH PICTURE-TAKING DEVICE WILL DO MUCH GOOD.

FOR THE RECORD, HOWEVER, HERE'S WHAT WE SAW.

HERE'S WHAT WE LOOKED LIKE SEEING IT.

AND FINALLY, HERE'S SOMETHING I WAS TRULY GLAD TO SEE, THOUGH IT MAY TURN OUT TO BE THE SPOOKIEST OF THEM ALL.

MORE ABOUT THAT IN THE MORNING.

TALK ABOUT AMENITIES.

THAT'S ALL WE COULD DO, 'CAUSE WE COULD NEVER FIND 'EM.

AND I'M MORE CONVINCED THAN EVER THAT THERE'S NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT CONSTRUCTION.

ABOUT THE ONLY GOOD NEWS IS, IT PUT US RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM SOMETHING WE HAD COME TO SEE.

HANCE WHITE, HE OPERATED THE PITTSBURG, KANSAS, MARBLE WORKS FROM 1892 UNTIL HIS DEATH IN 1926.

HE SCULPTED ALL KINDS OF THINGS.

IT'S KIND OF EARLY, EARLY CABBAGE PATCH.

THAT'S FRENCH, IS IT NOT?

(Don) YEAH.

[mimicking French] (Gene) HANCE WHITE WAS BORN IN OHIO IN 1854, MOVED TO PITTSBURG IN 1892.

IN 1904, HE BUILT A DISPLAY BUILDING FOR HIS TOMBSTONES AND ARCHITECTURAL ORNAMENTS RIGHT NEXT TO THE FRISCO RAILROAD TRACK.

AND ON THE TOP, HE HAD FANS AND FLAMES WHICH COULD BE SEEN FOR MILES AT THAT TIME.

AND THEN OVER EACH OF THE WINDOW, HE PUT PORTRAITS OF PEOPLE THAT PEOPLE WOULD FIND INTERESTING.

(Randy) BUFFALO BILL THERE, GEORGE WASHINGTON.

HE HAD A THING FOR GEORGE WASHINGTON.

THIS IS BILLY THOMPSON, INDIAN GUNFIGHTER.

NO, NO, NO, I'M SORRY, WYATT EARP.

(Randy) IT'S KIND OF A CROSS BETWEEN ARCHIE AND JUGHEAD.

CARRIE NATION.

YOU CAN SEE THE ZEAL IN HER EYES.

THE BENDERS LIVED IN CHERRYVALE, OR OUTSIDE IT, AND PEOPLE WOULD COME STAY AT THEIR HOUSE AND BASICALLY BECOME PART OF THE GARDEN.

OH.

AND THEY GOT A MUSEUM FOR IT.

OH.

(Gene) THIS WAS THE RICHEST PART OF KANSAS.

THIS WAS INDUSTRIAL.

PITTSBURG ALONE HAD FIVE MAJOR RAILROADS.

THERE WAS LOTS OF FOLK ART IN PITTSBURG.

BUT UNFORTUNATELY, MOST OF IT HAS BEEN DEMOLISHED.

(Don) IN FACT, THE WRECKING BALL CAME PERILOUSLY CLOSE TO GETTING GENE'S OWN PLACE.

NO, IT'S NOT THE SECRET HIDEAWAY OF A COMIC BOOK SUPERHERO, JUST A HOUSE BUILT IN THE '30s BY A MAN NAMED STANDARD, AND IT'S CLEARLY ANYTHING BUT THAT.

(Gene) NOW, THIS WAS BUILT BY A 24-YEAR-OLD ATTORNEY WHO HAD BEEN GRADUATED FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS LAW SCHOOL AT THE AGE OF 19.

IT'S ALL MADE OUT OF RECYCLED MATERIALS.

THE REINFORCEMENTS ARE THE OLD JOPLIN-PITTSBURG RAILROAD RAILS, AND YOU CAN SEE SOME OF THOSE STICKING OUT IN THE GARAGE OVER HERE.

HE WAS INTO SOLAR HEATING AND COOLING BEFORE ANYBODY EVEN THOUGHT OF IT.

AND SO THE OVERHANGS, FOR EXAMPLE, ALLOWED THE SUN INTO THE ROOMS DURING THE WINTERTIME.

BUT DURING THE SUMMER, THE ROOMS ARE SHADED BECAUSE OF THAT.

HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING.

HE BUILT IT ON A BASE THAT IS MADE OF CONCRETE SIX FEET DEEP.

AND SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING SHAKING OR WHATNOT.

PEOPLE STOP IN AND HEAR ABOUT THIS HOUSE, DO THEY COME BY AND GAWK?

CONSTANTLY.

CONSTANTLY.

AND CASUAL PEOPLE THAT I HAVE KNOWN BACK EAST GET MARRIED, AND THEY COME AND SAY, "CAN WE SPEND OUR HONEYMOON WITH YOU?"

AND SO I HAVE CONSTANT GUESTS.

(Don) WE HAVE NEVER KNOWN ANYONE WITH A HOUSE THAT LOOKED LIKE A NUN MIGHT WEAR IT BEFORE.

WE'VE NEVER KNOWN ANYONE WITH A TRAIN IN HIS BACKYARD EITHER, LIKE PITTSBURG'S JOHNNY MARIETTA.

"MOST OF IT'S GONE NOW," HE SAYS.

BUT THAT MAKES HIM NO LESS OF A COLORFUL CHARACTER.

(Randy) YOU SAID YOUR WIFE COULD ACCEPT THAT YOU WOULD BRING HOME TRAINS?

YEAH, I NEVER SAID A WORD, YOU KNOW?

IF I COME HOME AND I SAID, "WELL, I BOUGHT ANOTHER CAR," SHE'D SAY, "I GUESS WE NEEDED IT."

I USED TO HAVE A SIGN UP HERE THAT SAYS, "MARIETTA BROTHERS CIRCUS," YOU KNOW?

I'VE HAD ELEPHANTS IN THIS YARD FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

[wigwag ringing] THAT'S CALLED A WIGWAG.

(Mike) WHY IS THAT?

(Johnny) 'CAUSE IT'S WIGWAGGING.

OH, HELL.

I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A HOBO.

AND IF MY WIFE-- MY MOTHER HAD WENT WITH ME, I'D HAVE PROBABLY BEEN A HOBO.

I WAS THAT MUCH OF A BABY'S BOY.

I'M THE ONLY MAN IN THE UNITED STATES WHO WENT TO THIS-- WENT TO THE CIRCUS AND BROUGHT THE WHOLE CIRCUS HOME WITH ME, 17 TRUCKS.

WATCH WHERE YOU WALK.

FOLLOW ME.

I GUESS THE TRAIN FASCINATES ME.

BUT I DON'T LIKE A COAL TRAIN, 'CAUSE WHEN YOU'VE SEEN ONE CAR, YOU'VE SEEN THEM ALL; YOU UNDERSTAND?

I LIKE TO LOOK AT A BOXCAR, FREIGHT CAR, RAIL CAR, TANK CAR, AND EVERYTHING ELSE.

I GO DOWN TO THE RAILROAD YARD TO SEE A TRAIN GO BY, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

LIKE I SAID, YOU PUT MY BRAINS IN A CANARY, HE'D FLY BACKWARDS, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

I USED TO COME ALONG HERE WITH A LANTERN AND WALK ALONG HERE AT NIGHT LIKE I WAS SOMEBODY, YOU KNOW.

YEAH, I THOUGHT I WAS A RAILROAD MAN.

OH, MY GOSH.

(Don) YOU CAN STILL SEE WHAT'S LEFT OF JOHNNY'S COLLECTION ON THE EDGE OF TOWN JUST OFF HIGHWAY 126, WHICH TOOK US OUT OF PITTSBURG AND INTO TO SOME PRETTY HEAVY RAIN ON OUR WAY TO WEST MINERAL, HOME OF SOUTHEAST KANSAS' BIGGEST ATTRACTION.

I'M TALKING, OF COURSE, ABOUT THE ONLY ELECTRIC SHOVEL WITH A PROPER NAME AND A FULLY-STOCKED GIFT SHOP.

(Randy) YOU DON'T DELIVER ANY FREE COFFEE OR ANYTHING IN HERE TOO, DO YOU?

HE'S ALWAYS TRYING TO WEASEL A CUP OF FREE COFFEE.

HE THINKS "TV STATUS" OR SOMETHING.

(Betty) IN 1962, '63, IT WAS THE SECOND-LARGEST ELECTRIC SHOVEL IN THE WORLD.

IT WAS ASSEMBLED ON-SITE ABOUT 11 MILES FROM HERE.

WHOA.

WHOA.

WHOA, MAN.

(Betty) WHEN IT WAS BUILT, IT WAS $6.5 MILLION, COST.

IT'S 16 STORIES TALL, AND IT'S 11 MILLION POUNDS.

AND THE LAST ELECTRIC BILL WAS $27,000.

WENT 11 MILES IN 11 YEARS.

SO IT WORKED A MILE A YEAR.

(Mike) AND THEY JUST LEFT IT HERE WHEN THEY WERE DONE, OR-- (Betty) RIGHT, THEY COULDN'T-- IT WOULD BE TOO EXPENSIVE TO-- THEY'D HAVE TO TAKE IT APART, WHICH THEY COULDN'T DO.

AND SO THEY JUST LEFT IT HERE.

KIDS, THEY COME TO BIG BRUTUS, AND THEY FALL IN LOVE.

THEY JUST-- THEY JUST DO.

THEY LOVE IT.

[faking engine noises] YOU KIDS, GET OUT OF THE WAY.

(Janet) I TAKE THE GROUPS DOWN, AND THEY'RE OVERWHELMED.

THE SIZE JUST BLOWS THEM AWAY.

(Randy) THEY DON'T COME HERE LOOKING TO GET ROWDY?

(Janet) OH, YEAH.

WE HAD A BOY SCOUT GROUP FROM HELL.

BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PUT THAT ON THERE, RIGHT?

[laughing] DAMN KIDS.

OH, ANOTHER BUCKET.

(Randy) I LIKE THIS, BUT I WONDER IF YOU COULD GET IT IN SOME COLOR OTHER THAN GREEN.

(Don) I CAN DO THAT FOR YOU.

[faking driving and crashing noises] I REMEMBER TV BEFORE CABLE.

[laughing] pssh!

DUMP YOUR LOAD HERE.

THERE GOES ANOTHER WESTERN OMELET.

OH, GOOD, HARD DAY DRIVING THE-- DRIVING THE TONKA TOYS.

(Don) WE HAD TO ADMIT THAT BIG BRUTUS PUTS THE BIG BALL OF VIDEOTAPE TO SHAME.

BUT WHY DWELL ON THE NEGATIVE WHEN SO MANY COOL SOUVENIRS ARE SO READILY AVAILABLE?

IT LEFT US WITH JUST ONE DESTINATION FOR THIS GRAY AND DREARY DAY: BOB DORIS' FARM JUST OUTSIDE ERIE.

THE CREEK WAS HIGH, THE ROADS WERE SOGGY.

AND NO WONDER.

IT WAS RAINING CATS AND DOGS AND GIANT REPTILES HERE.

(Randy) "DINOSAUR NOT SO NATIONAL PARK"?

I LIKE YOUR SIGN.

(Robert) YOU KNOW, YOU'VE GOT JURASSIC PARK.

I CALL THIS "HALF-ASSTIC PARK."

[laughing] THIS WAS ONE--THE FIRST ONE, ACTUALLY, THAT HE MADE.

AND HE MADE THIS FOR ME SO I COULD SET IT ON MY DESK AT WORK.

AND THEN IT KIND OF BALLOONED FROM THERE.

(Robert) THAT'S AN APATOSAURUS.

BRONTOSAURUS, THEY USED TO CALL IT, BUT THEY CHANGED IT FOR SOME REASON OR ANOTHER.

I DON'T KNOW.

THAT'S A GREAT BIGASAURUS OUT THERE.

THE BOTTOM PART OF IT, OF COURSE, IS A CRANK CASE PAN FROM AN ENGINE-- OIL PAN, IN OTHER WORDS.

AND THE WINGS IS A HOOD FROM SOME OLD STRAIGHT-EIGHT CAR.

OF COURSE, THAT'S A TRANSMISSION TURNED UPSIDE DOWN, THIS PART OF IT.

TRICERATOPS AUTOMATIC.

(Robert) IF I CAN GET A PICTURE OF A THING IN MY MIND, I CAN BUILD IT, WHATEVER IT IS, PRETTY WELL.

YOU KNOW, MIGHT NOT SUIT ANYBODY ELSE, BUT IT SUITS ME.

BASICALLY, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT DINOSAURS.

JUST LIKE THE T-REX THERE, I DON'T KNOW WHETHER IT HAD 15 RIBS OR 25.

THE BOYS IN THE SMITHSONIAN SAID, "IF IT LOOKS RIGHT, USE IT."

OH, I WORK PROBABLY HARDER SINCE I RETIRED THAN I DID BEFORE, YOU KNOW?

THAT'S USUALLY THE CASE.

LIKE THEY SAY, IF YOU GOT ANYTHING YOU NEED TO DO THAT YOU BETTER DO IT BEFORE YOU RETIRE, BECAUSE YOU WON'T HAVE TIME AFTERWARDS, YOU KNOW?

(Elveeta) WE HAVE SCHOOL GROUPS WHO COME.

AND CHILDREN ESPECIALLY LOVE THE DINOSAURS.

AND IT'S BEEN FUN FOR US, SINCE OUR CHILDREN ARE GROWN AND OUR GRANDCHILDREN.

IT KEEPS US IN TOUCH WITH YOUNG PEOPLE.

(Don) IS THAT A SWINGASAURUS THERE?

(Robert) I'VE BEEN A GOOD WELDER.

I'LL PUT IT THAT WAY.

THAT'S MY OWN ESTIMATION.

PROBABLY A GOOD WELDER WOULD PROBABLY MAKE FUN OF ME.

BUT I'M NOT AN ARTIST OR A SCULPTOR.

I-I-I SHOT CLEAR AWAY FROM THAT.

I THINK THEY THROW THAT WORD ARTIST AROUND PRETTY LOOSELY SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW?

(Don) AND IN CASE YOU HADN'T NOTICED BY NOW, WHEREVER IT'S BEIN' THROWN, WE'LL BE THERE TO CATCH IT.

TIME TO GET THESE OLD BONES ON THE ROAD.

THIS IS DON THE CAMERA GUY SIGNING OFF.

[crickets chirping] SEE ANYTHING?

(Randy) WHAT IS THAT?

(Dean) YOU SEE SOMETHING?

(Randy) DESCRIBE TO ME WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

(Scott) WELL, IT'S ABOUT BIGGER THAN A BOWLING BALL.

FIRE WAS SHOOTING OUT OF THE HOLES OUT IT, LIKE RED, GREEN, YELLOW, AND BLUE.

(Mike) OH, I SEE A LIGHT.

(Dean) I WOULDN'T GO TOO FAR.

IN FACT, I'D GET BACK UP HERE AND JUST STAND PUT, 'CAUSE YOU'RE 35--YOU'RE 20 MILES FROM THE HOSPITAL.

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