(male announcer) PRODUCTION FUNDING FOR RARE VISIONS AND ROADSIDE REVELATIONS HAS BEEN PROVIDED IN PART BY SPRINT, COMMITTED TO THE COMMUNITY, CONNECTING YOU TO THE WORLD.

(man) ♪ WELCOME TO A SHOW ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN SEE ♪ ♪ WITHOUT GOING FAR, AND A LOT OF THEM ARE FREE.

♪ ♪ IF YOU THOUGHT THERE WAS NOTHING ♪ ♪ IN THE OLD HEARTLAND, ♪ ♪ YOU OUGHT TO HIT THE BLACKTOP ♪ ♪ WITH THESE FOOLS IN A VAN.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT, THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ RANDY DOES THE STEERING SO HE WON'T HURL.

♪ ♪ MIKE'S GOT THE MAP, SUCH A MAN OF THE WORLD.

♪ ♪ THAT'S DON WITH THE CAMERA, ♪ ♪ KIND OF HEAVY ON HIS SHOULDER.

♪ ♪ AND THAT GIANT BALL OF TAPE, IT'S A WORLD RECORD HOLDER.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT, THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT ART IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ LOOK OUT, THEY'RE DRIVING HARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD, ♪ ♪ CHECKING OUT THE WORLD IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD.

♪ ♪ (Randy) HEY, THERE, DONNY.

(Don) DEAR TV MAILBAG, SHOULD KIDS SEE THIS?

OOH, MY.

(Don) HI, DON THE CAMERA GUY HERE, ONE-THIRD OWNER OF THE PALEST LEGS EVER TO SET FOOT IN LOUISIANA.

THAT'S SCARY, BUT SO IS THIS.

A FEW MORE MILES, AND WE'D HAVE BEEN CHANGING A FLAT SOMEWHERE OUT ON THE BAYOU.

FOUND A NAIL, HUH?

YEAH.

HUH, I DROVE THAT IN THERE THIS MORNING.

I WANTED TO SLOW THIS SHOW DOWN A LITTLE.

OH.

(Don) SO WHILE MIKE AND I WATCH MR. GOODWRENCH WORK HIS MAGIC, RANDY'S BEEN PREPARING FOR ANOTHER ISSUE WE MAY FACE.

I GOT THE STUFF.

I GOT THE STUFF.

(Don) WHAT'D YOU GET?

THE DEEP WOODS FF.

I CAN'T WAIT TO TASTE THIS, CAN YOU?

MMM.

I WAS LOOKING FOR CITRONELLA FLAVOR, 'CAUSE THAT'S REALLY-- THAT GOES DOWN SMOOTH.

CITRONELLA STORY, OU T OF NOWHERE.

(Don) SO QUICKER THAN YOU CAN SAY THIBODAUX, OUR GUARDIAN ANGEL HAD US BACK ON THE ROAD AND ON THE WAY TO CHAUVIN, WHERE APPARENTLY MORE ANGELS AWAIT US.

NOT JUST ANGELS, BUT A WHOLE GARDEN OF SALVATION, BUILT IN CONCRETE BY ONE KENNY HILL ON A LOT RIGHT NEXT TO THE WATER.

BUT WHEN KENNY STOPPED MOWING THE GRASS, THE LANDLORD GOT MAD, AND KENNY LEFT.

OH, MY.

OH, YEAH.

(Don) JUST WALKED AWAY FROM ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING VISIONARY ART SITES YOU'LL EVER SEE.

(Mike) WO W. THIS PLACE IS INCREDIBLE.

(Dennis) I MET HIM ABOUT, OH, IT'S ALMOST TWO YEARS NOW, TWO YEARS AGO.

I CAME DOWN 'CAUSE SOMEONE SAID, "YOU NEED TO SEE THIS GARDEN THAT THIS GUY'S BEEN BUILDING FOR THE LAST 12 YEARS."

AND I STOPPED IN, AND I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT THIS MAN HAD DONE IN THE LAST 12 YEARS.

I MEAN, I TEACH AT A UNIVERSITY, AND IF SOMEONE SAID, "I'LL GIVE YOU 12 YEARS TO DO SOMETHING AS GOOD AS THIS," I WOULD HAVE JUST SAID, "NO, THANKS."

I DON'T THINK I COULD HAVE.

NOR COULD AN ART STUDENT COMING OUT OF A UNIVERSITY CREATE THE BODY OF WORK THAT THIS MAN CREATED.

(Mike) SO WHAT DID YOU THINK WHEN THIS STARTED GOING UP NEXT DOOR?

WELL, I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW, AND I REALLY DIDN'T MIND, BECAUSE HE WAS A GOOD GUY, AND WE TALKED AND LAUGHED, YOU KNOW.

BUT HE WAS A-- HE WAS A REAL FINE MAN.

HE REALLY DIDN'T HAVE TOO MUCH TOOLS THAT HE'D PLAY WITH, YOU KNOW?

TO MAKE THE WINGS RIGHT HERE, HE'D PUT HIS MOLD IN THE CEMENT, AND HE'D USE A REGULAR SPOON, YOU KNOW AN EATING SPOON, AND THEN HE'D MAKE A DESIGN WITH A SPOON.

AND THEN FOR THE HAIR, HE USED A FORK, JUST A EATING FORK.

AND HE LAY THE CEMENT DOWN AND USED THE FORK, YOU KNOW?

THERE'S PROBABLY ABOUT SIX SELF-PORTRAITS OF HIMSELF.

THEY'RE PRETTY ACCURATE, IF YOU WOULD HAVE EVER MET KENNY.

THEY'RE ALMOST TO A FLAW.

THIS IS WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE.

(Julius) HE HAD LONG, BLOND HAIR AND A LITTLE MOUSTACHE.

AND HE ALWAYS HAD A HAT ON HIS HEAD.

SO IT REALLY KIND OF FIT WITH HIM.

WHEN HE STARTED THIS, HE POURED SIX YARDS OF CEMENT, AND I SAID, "KENNY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

HE SAID, "MR. NEIL, YOU'LL SEE WHAT IT'S GOING TO BE."

(Dennis) WELL, I THINK IT WAS POPULAR IMAGERY, YOU KNOW, THE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA, THE INDIANS, THE JAZZ.

AND THERE'S THAT ONE REFERENCE, WHICH IS PRETTY AMAZING PIECE, OF HIM BEING RAISED UP TO SALVATION, AND THEN THE REST OF THIS SALVATION STUFF KIND OF KICKS IN.

AND I THINK THAT THERE OBVIOUSLY--IN SOME OF THE PIECES THAT THERE IS A RELATIONSHIP TO HIS BEING CALLED ON TO DO THIS FOR THE COMMUNITY, TO TEACH THEM THE TRUE PATH AND OBVIOUSLY TO SHOW THEM THE WRONG PATH TO FOLLOW.

THIS GARDEN AND THIS TRAIL THAT YOU FOLLOW CAN GO A LOT OF DIFFERENT WAYS, AND THERE ARE-- THERE'S A PRICE TO PAY.

SOME OF THE IMAGES MAY BE IMAGES OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE REACHED IT OR NEVER GOT THERE.

(Julius) I DON'T KNOW IF HE WAS A RELIGIOUS MAN.

THEY GOT SOME OF THEM, LIKE JESUS CHRIST HE MADE AND ALL OF THAT.

BUT THE THING IS, I NEVER KNEW THAT HE'D GO TO CHURCH.

CATHOLIC OR BAPTIST OR WHATEVER, I NEVER KNEW THAT HE'D GO TO CHURCH, YOU KNOW?

(Dennis) THE LONGER YOU STAY AT THE SITE, YOU SEE MORE AND MORE SYMBOLISM IN WHAT HE'S TRYING TO TELL YOU, AND THE EXPRESSIONS IN THE FACE ARE PRETTY INCREDIBLE.

THE REAL ANGELS HAVE EYES, AND THE BLUE ANGELS HAVE NO EYES.

YOU KNOW, WHAT IS THE SYMBOLISM THERE?

THE KENNY HILL WHO STARTS HIS JOURNEY HAS NO EYES BUT HAS A BLEEDING HEART.

AND AT THE END OF HIS JOURNEY, DOES HE BECOME THE MAN LETTING THE EAGLE GO, AND THE EAGLE SYMBOLIZES HIS FREEDOM, HIS SALVATION?

THIS MAY BE ONE OF THOSE LONG MYSTERIES.

(Julius) THEY HAD A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT COME DOWN HERE AND LOOK AT IT, YOU KNOW?

SO I SAY, "WHY DON'T YOU MAKE A LITTLE ALUMINUM BOX AND PUT DONATION BOX OVER THERE?"

HE SAID, "MY SPIRIT WOULDN'T ALLOW ME TO DO THAT."

THEN I SAY, "YEAH, YOUR SPIRIT, YOU GOTTA EAT.

"YOU GOTTA BUY THE BRICKS.

YOU GOTTA BUY THE CEMENT."

SO I SAY--YOU KNOW, THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS THAT HE COULD HAVE USED THAT MONEY FOR, YOU KNOW?

HE IS NOT DEAD.

HE'S JUST LEFT THIS AND SAID THAT "I AM FINISHED WITH THIS SITE."

SO HE MAY BE BUILDING ONE SOMEPLACE ELSE, AND WE KIND OF HOPE SO.

AND WHETHER HE EVER COMES BACK TO THIS, TO DO WHAT?

TO BE PRAISED FOR DOING IT?

HE NEVER WANTED THAT.

TO BE PAID?

HE NEVER WANTED THAT.

IF THEY SAY HE'S INSANE, WELL, THAT'S THE REASON HE'S INSANE, BECAUSE HE DIDN'T DO IT FOR MONEY?

THERE'S AN INSANITY THAT MORE PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE.

MAYBE THINGS WOULD BE BETTER.

(Don) NOW, WHEN IT COMES TO SALVATION, DENNIS PLAYS HIS PART IN THIS TOO.

BECAUSE HE GREW UP IN WISCONSIN, HE KNEW THAT THE KOHLER COMPANY UP THERE HAS STEPPED OUT OF THE JOHN AND UP TO THE PLATE MORE THAN A FEW TIMES TO FIX SITES JUST LIKE THIS.

HE CALLED THEM.

THEY CAME, AND BY THE TIME YOU SEE THIS, KENNY'S GARDEN WILL ONCE AGAIN BE GETTING OOHED AND AHED OVER.

(Dennis) THE WHOLE IDEA OF THIS IS JUST FOR PEOPLE TO COME SEE IT.

WE DON'T WANT TO MAKE MONEY OFF IT.

WE'RE NOT INTERESTED IN DOING ANYTHING WITH IT.

I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO COME AND SAY, "I SAW SOMETHING I'D NEVER SEEN BEFORE."

WELL, AND I THANK YOU PEOPLE FROM MISSOURI, 'CAUSE YOU GOT A SHOW YOU DID FOR EVERYTHING.

YOU GUYS WERE SUPPOSED TO COME HERE AND SEE THIS.

MAYBE IT'LL HELP YOU WITH YOUR SALVATION, OBVIOUSLY YOU WOULDN'T BE PUTTING THAT ON YOUR LICENSE PLATE IF YOU ALREADY HAD IT FIGURED OUT.

(Don) OTHERWISE WE'D BE IN RADIO.

YOU'D BE IN RADIO.

YOU WOULDN'T BE HAULING THIS HOG AROUND, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IT ALL MEANS.

DID HE JUST CALL DON-- I THINK HE JUST CALLED DON A HOG.

(Don) NOW, I WANT TO BELIEVE HE'S TALKING ABOUT THIS CAMERA, WHICH BY NO MEANS IS GETTING ANY LIGHTER IN THIS TROPICAL HEAT, WHICH PROBABLY MEANS OUR NEXT DESTINATION, THE BIG EASY, WON'T BE FOR ME.

THAT'S RIGHT.

WE'RE HEADING FOR NEW ORLEANS, THE CRESCENT CITY, A PLACE THAT'S ALWAYS MARCHED TO A BEAT ALL ITS OWN.

(Randy) MAN, WE COULD PROBABLY SWING A DEAD CAT AND HIT A FOLK ARTIST IN NEW ORLEANS.

NOT THAT WE'RE GOING TO KILL ANY CATS FOR THE MAKING OF THIS SHOW.

(Don) IN FACT, IT APPEARS THEY SELL HARDWARE DIFFERENTLY HERE TOO.

WE COULD STAY AND PONDER THIS A WHILE LONGER OR START LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO STAY.

AND TO MY SURPRISE, IT APPEARS WE'VE CHOSEN THE LATTER.

SO HERE'S A FEW SCENIC SHOTS FOR YOU TO ENJOY.

ALL THAT'S MISSING IS THAT AUTHENTIC FRENCH QUARTER AROMA, YOU KNOW, EAU DE BEIGNET, DECAY, AND BON TON ROULET.

♪ IN THE BOOK OF LOVE FULL OF SOLID ROCK.

♪ ♪ I'LL WRITE MY NAME ON THE SOLID ROCK.

♪ ♪ (Don) GUESS IT'S NOT JUST THE DRUMMING THAT'S DIFFERENT HERE.

MEET PRETTY BOY, LOCAL LEGEND AND CLOSE PERSONAL FRIEND OF THE ARTIST KNOWN AS DR. BOB.

THIS WOULD BE DR. BOB'S STUDIO.

THESE ARE HIS BLUE CATAHOULA DOGS.

TELL 'EM WHAT'S UP.

TELL 'EM WHAT'S UP.

AND THIS IS SOME OF THE ART HE MAKES, INCLUDING SIGNS WITH HIS BEST-KNOWN SLOGAN, "BE NICE OR LEAVE."

(Randy) WAS THERE A REASON THAT THAT SAYING CAME ABOUT?

DID SOMETHING IN PARTICULAR TRIGGER IT?

(Bob) I SAW IT WHEN I WAS A KID, SNEAKING IN A PLACE I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE, SKIPPING SCHOOL AND GOING ON A FISHING TRIP AND TRYING TO GET AN ADULT COLD BEVERAGE TO STICK IN OUR ICE CHEST AND BE MANLY MEN, AND I WAS THE GUY THAT GOT PICKED TO GO.

I WAS HEAVILY INFLUENCED BY GRANT PARISH, SWEET POTATOES, PECANS, TIMBER, AND CATTLE.

(Mike) YOU GOT A THING FOR GATORS TOO, AND THEY SCARE THE HELL OUT OF ME.

(Bob) THE FIRST PIECE I DID WAS THE GATOR, AND I HAVE A ANCESTRY OF CROW INDIAN, AND DOWN HERE THE INDIANS-- CHOCTAW AND CADDO AND EVERYBODY ELSE THAT LIVED DOWN HERE-- REVERED THE ALLIGATOR AS A SACRED CREATURE.

I'VE BEEN WORKING NONSTOP DAY AND NIGHT FOR MONTHS.

SEE, I WORK OUT ON JACKSON SQUARE TOO.

I'LL GO HANG ON THE FENCE.

SO THIS IS KIND OF GREAT TO HAVE AN INVENTORY FINALLY.

LIKE THIS, MARGARET'S GROCERY, OVER HERE ON THE RIGHT, THE HONEY ISLAND SWAMP, SEE, THOSE ARE MY BETTER PIECES.

THIS IS THE NEIGHBORHOOD'S DISCARDS, AND I WANTED A WAY TO CONTAIN THE DOGS REAL FAST ONE DAY, SO I WHIPPED THEM OUT AND PUT WIRE TIES ON THEM REAL FAST, STICK THEM IN HERE.

ALSO GOT A FAUX WROUGHT IRON FENCE MADE OUT OF CRUTCHES FROM GOODWILL.

THEY'D BEEN SAVING ME ALL THE CRUTCHES AND STUFF, AND I PAINT THEM BLACK.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN START IN THIS ART BUSINESS, AS I UNDERSTAND.

NO, I DID A LOT OF OTHER STUFF GROWING UP.

ART WAS AN ACCIDENT.

I KNEW I COULD DO IT AS A BACKUP, YOU KNOW.

I HAD NO IDEA PEOPLE WOULD PAY ANY ATTENTION TO IT OR ANYTHING OR START COLLECTING IT.

THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF A CARVING THAT WENT AWRY.

I WENT OFF, AND I CAME BACK, AND THE WIND HAD BLEW IT OVER AND BROKE THE ARMS OFF AND BUSTED THE LEG AND ALL, SO I CUT IT OFF AND CREATED THE BUST OF VENETIAN DE MILO.

THIS IS ABOUT THE FIFTH OR SIXTH PIECE I'VE ATTEMPTED TO CARVE AN INDIAN OUT OF, AND THEY ALL GO ALIEN ON ME.

BUT SOME PEOPLE THAT I RESPECT IN THE FRENCH QUARTER, OLDER PEOPLE, COME BY, AND THEY SAID, "YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

THE SPIRITS ARE GUIDING YOU."

AND I USED TO FEEL THAT.

WHEN I PUT MY CHAIN SAW DOWN AND MY CHISELS AND STUFF, MY HANDS WOULD BE TINGLING FROM THE VIBRATIONS OF EVERYTHING, BUT STILL IT KIND OF FELT LIKE YOU COULD SHOOT THE DIRECTIONS OUT OF YOUR FINGERTIPS LIKE IN A SCI-FI MOVIE AND GO SHHHPPT AND MAKE IT HAPPEN, BECAUSE I ACTUALLY HAVE GOT NO CLUE HOW I DO IT.

(Don) HOWEVER HE'S DOING IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING OUT QUITE WELL.

HE'S EVEN GOT HIS OWN OUTHOUSE OF BLUES.

THINK I'LL KEEP ROLLING AND MAKE SURE RANDY SCRUBS UP AFTERWARDS.

ALWAYS.

(Don) YEP, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GOOD TO GO.

SO AFTER SAYING GOOD-BYE TO DR. BOB, ANDRE, PRETTY BOY, AND THOSE SPOTTED DOGS TOO, WE ROLLED A FEW BLOCKS BACK UP TO THE QUARTER TO ACT LIKE TOURISTS, IF ONLY FOR A FEW MOMENTS.

AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHERE WE ENCOUNTERED A TRUE RARE VISION, AN ACTUAL PARKING SPACE NOT FAR FROM JACKSON SQUARE.

YOUR MOJO IS WORKING.

(Don) OR IS IT?

I'M ON THE MONEY.

WAIT A MINUTE.

IT DOESN'T APPEAR TO BE WORKING.

OKAY, IT DOESN'T WORK.

WE'LL GO THE TAPE, YOUR HONOR, FOR THE PROOF.

I SEE US IN COURT NOW.

I CALL TO THE WITNESS STAND RARE VISIONS TAPE NUMBER 27.

OH, YEAH.

ARE MY LEGS TAN YET, DON?

HOW ARE THEY LOOKING BACK THERE?

(Don) SCENIC SHOT.

(Randy) OKAY.

THAT ISN'T JACKSON SQUARE.

IT DOESN'T HAVE A BIG THING IN THE MIDDLE.

NO, THAT'S NOT IT.

I THINK SO.

I THINK IT'S THAT WAY.

IT'S A BIG IRON GUY ON A HORSE.

(Randy) OKAY, SCENIC SHOT.

WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT NEW ORLEANS?

ANYTHING?

(Don) YOU, YOU, YOU, WHERE'S THAT BUCK YOU OWE ME?

WHAT IS ON YOUR LIP, THERE?

CUT MYSELF SHAVING THIS MORNING.

NOT SUPPOSED TO SHAVE YOUR LIP, SON.

(Don) NOBODY SHAVED THEIR LIP SINCE NIXON.

PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT YOUR LEGS FUNNY.

I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO DIGNIFY THAT WITH A RESPONSE.

[laughing] (Randy) SCENIC SHOT.

(Don) OKAY.

IT'S A SEA OF PEOPLE.

IT IS.

OKAY, SCENIC SHOT.

(Mike) I ALWAYS WANTED TO PUSH A MIME.

I'M NOT A MIME.

OH, YOU'RE A CLOWN, AREN'T YOU?

AHH.

(Don) SO ARE THESE GUYS.

(Mike) CL OWN SMOKING, TH AT'S BAD ON TV.

WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND, SIR?

I LIKE THE CREOLE.

CREOLE.

(Don) GET REAL; GET THE CREOLE.

(Randy) OH, YEAH.

OH, YEAH.

DON'T SUPPOSE I CAN GET A RECEIPT, HUH?

(Don) IT'S UNUSUAL.

IT'S DOG.

UH-OH.

THEY MUST HAVE HEARD ABOUT THAT PARKING METER.

THIS IS WHEN WE KNOW IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON.

AND SO WE ARE MOVING ON TO BIG AL TAPLET'S PLACE.

AL, YOU SEE, IS A DOUBLE THREAD, A MASTER WHEN IT COMES TO SHOE SHINES AND CLEVER SIGNS.

WE FIGURED AL WOULD BE HUNGRY.

SO ALONG WITH OUR BALL GLOVES, WHICH COULD USE SOME ATTENTION, WE BROUGHT HIM AN OYSTER PO' BOY, FIXED JUST THE WAY HE LIKES IT.

BIG AL, YOU SEE MY BIG-BARREL BIKE OUT THERE?

(Mike) THAT'S GREAT.

(Randy) OH, I LIKE THE BIKE TOO, YEAH.

WE BROUGHT OUR BALL GLOVES, AL.

GOT STUFF TO CLEAN IT WITH TOO?

YEAH, WE WANT THESE OILED UP.

CAN YOU OIL THESE LEGS?

WELL, SHOW US THE PLACE, WILL YOU?

COME ON.

COME ON IN.

COME ON IN.

ALL RIGHT.

(Randy) HAVE YOU LIVED HERE ALL YOUR LIFE?

(Big Al) YEAH, BORN AND RAISED HERE IN NEW ORLEANS.

I HAVE SEEN IT TORN UP, PUT BACK TOGETHER, EVERYTHING ELSE.

ALL KIND OF THINGS HAPPENING.

I BEEN SHINING SHOES SINCE I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD.

NOBODY LIKE TO SHINE SHOES, BUT I ENJOY DOING IT.

AND I ENJOY DOING ARTWORK.

WHEN YOU ENJOY DOING SOMETHING, YOU DO IT BETTER.

I START THIS IN 1980, DOING THIS ARTWORK IN '80.

(Mike) YEAH?

SO IT'S JUST ROOF TILE.

ROOFING FLAKES.

FLAKES.

COME OFF THE ROOF.

I USE A LITTLE OF EVERYTHING, TIN.

I GOT DISHES.

I GOT PLATES.

I GOT A LOT OF GOOD STUFF IN THERE I'LL SHOW YOU.

I GOT ALL THIS HERE.

FRYING PANS.

(Mike) PRETTY MUCH, IF YOU CAN FIND IT, YOU CAN PAINT ON IT.

OH, YEAH, IT'S ART.

MAKE SOMETHING-- YOU GOING TO THROW AWAY, YOU MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF IT.

THAT'S THE NAME OF THE GAME.

THAT'S CALLED FOLK ART.

I DO THIS EVERY DAY.

I DON'T MISS A DAY.

(Randy) I LIKE THIS ONE: "GET THE GOOD NEWS.

"WHEN YOU GOT THE BLUES, FIND BIG AL.

(Big Al) LET HIM SHINE THEM SHOES."

I'M TELLING YOU, THAT'S THE NAME OF THE GAME.

"OH, LORD, LET ME KEEP MY BIG MOUTH SHUT."

(Randy) AND THIS "NO MONEY, NO EGGS" SEEMS TO BE KIND OF A THEME TOO.

THAT'S MY MAIN SELLER.

THAT'S MY MAIN SELLER.

I SELL MORE OF THAT THAN ANYTHING ELSE.

(Randy) IS IT TRUE, NO MONEY, NO EGGS?

(Big Al) THAT'S RIGHT.

(Mike) I'M KIND OF FOND OF THAT ONE.

"JESUS SAYS, BUY MORE FOLK ART."

NOW, WHICH BOOK OF THE BIBLE IS THAT IN?

(Big Al) MY BIBLE.

[laughs] WATCH YOUR STEP.

WATCH YOUR STEP.

(Don) OH, DID I BUY SOMETHING?

(Big Al) NO, YOU HAVEN'T BOUGHT NOTHING YET.

(Don) 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY, AL.

I'LL LET YOU KNOW.

I'LL LET YOU WRITE THE CHECK OUT.

(Randy) MIKEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

(Mike) I'D LIKE TO SEE THIS-- GET THIS BALL GLOVE SOFTENED UP.

(Randy) HAS ANYBODY BROUGHT YOU A BALL GLOVE TO WAX BEFORE?

NO, THIS THE FIRST BALL GLOVE.

YOU'RE THE FIRST ONES.

(Randy) WILL HE CATCH BETTER AFTER YOU DO THIS?

I DON'T KNOW IF HE CAN CATCH BETTER.

IT MIGHT SLIP OUT OF HIS HAND.

[laughs] (Randy) DO YOU ENJOY MAKING YOUR ART THESE DAYS?

(Big Al) OH, YEAH, I ENJOY DOING EVERYTHING.

SHINING SHOES.

ENJOY DOING PICTURES.

I LIKE DOING ALL THAT.

(Randy) THANK ALL YOU GUYS.

(Don) WE LEFT AL TO ENJOY THAT SANDWICH, AND IN ALL THE COMMOTION, WE ALMOST LEFT SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT BEHIND.

IMAGINE THE SHINE HE COULD HAVE PUT ON IT.

MEANWHILE, WE NOTICED THAT MIKE HAS TAKEN A SHINE TO SOMETHING HIMSELF.

THIS WOMAN'S GOT A BUNCH OF COOKBOOKS OUT, YOU KNOW, WITH RECIPES.

THAT'S HER RIGHT THERE.

YOU FOLKS AT HOME, YOU CAN PROBABLY FIGURE OUT WHY WE'RE INTERESTED IN COMING OUT AND SEEING HER.

ALL ABOUT THE RECIPES.

IT WAS THIS PICTURE OF THE CHICKEN THAT GOT MY ATTENTION.

THAT LOOKS PAINFUL, AND I BET THERE ARE LAWS AGAINST THAT.

(Don) LO OKS LIKE HOW WE COULD END UP.

APPARENTLY THE AUTHOR AND HER RECIPES ARE WAITING TO MEET US SOMEWHERE ON THE NORTH SHORE OF LAKE PONCHARTRAIN, WHICH EXPLAINS WHY WE'RE CROSSING THIS, THE WORLD'S SECOND-LONGEST FREESTANDING BRIDGE.

(Mike) WE'LL GET SOME SWAMP FLAVOR, TOO, OUT OF THE WHOLE THING.

(Don) IN FACT, IT APPEARS THERE'S FLAVOR AND CHILDREN TO SPARE BACK HERE AT DINTY CRAWFORD'S PLACE ALONG THE PEARL RIVER.

NOW, IF CONFRONTING YOUR FEARS IS A GOOD THING, THEN MIKE'S ABOUT TO MAKE SOME MAJOR STEPS TOWARDS SELF-IMPROVEMENT.

REALLY?

(Don) WHILE DANA STARTS PREPARATION ON SWAMP MAN DAN'S DRUNKEN CHICKEN, DINTY'S GETTING THE BOAT READY FOR SOME GATOR AVERSION THERAPY.

OF COURSE RANDY, THAT NONSWIMMING WUSS, IS PLANNING TO PACE THE DOCK TILL WE RETURN.

(Mike) NOW, GATORS, THEY DON'T JUST JUMP UP AND GRAB PEOPLE OUT OF BOATS, DO THEY?

(Dinty) NO, NO, ONLY IN THE MOVIES.

IT'S LIKE I TELL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME, "HELL, WE CAN BE AT THE HOSPITAL IN TEN MINUTES, MAN, AT THE MOST."

(Mike) THAT GIVES ME A WHOLE LOT OF COMFORT, KNOWING THAT.

(Dinty) YOU CAN FISH RIGHT ON THE SIDE OF THE BOAT, AND YOU'RE GOING TO GET A BITE.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS THAT'S BITING ON IT.

YOU NEVER KNOW.

I CATCH THOSE BIG, OLD LOGGERHEAD-- THOSE ALLIGATOR SNAPPERS.

(Mike) DINTY, YOU'RE GIVING ME A LOT OF COMFORT HERE ABOUT THAT MUDDY WATER THING.

THERE WOULDN'T BE ANY DRINKING GOING ON, RIGHT?

(Dinty) AH, THEY GET OUT HERE, I TELL YOU, YOU CAN GET OUT HERE AND HOWL AT THE MOON.

(Mike) YEAH.

(Don) I SUPPOSE THAT HOWLING AT THE MOON OFTEN BEGINS WITH THE DRINKING OF THE BEER, WHICH IS OF COURSE THE MAIN INGREDIENT IN DRUNKEN CHICKEN.

THE BEVERAGE IS THEN MIXED WITH LOUISIANA CRAB BOIL AND OTHER CAJUN-TYPE SPICES AND THEN INSERTED INTO THE POULTRY RECEPTACLE.

THE BEER WILL BASTE-- COME OUT OF THE TOP AND BASTE THE CHICKEN AS IT'S COOKING.

(Mike) HOLD THAT UP AND POSE ONE MORE TIME.

WHENEVER THE CHICKEN'S DONE, IT WILL STAGGER OFF THE CAN, GET DRUNK, AND THAT'S WHEN IT'S READY TO EAT.

(Don) WELL, IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE, BUT IT'S KIND OF FUN, SO WHILE THESE CHICKENS STEW IN THEIR OWN JUICES FOR AN HOUR OR SO, WE'LL SAMPLE SOME LOCAL BREW WITH THE RIVER FOLK AND WAIT FOR ANOTHER DUMB QUESTION FROM SOME TV WEASEL.

(Randy) ARE THEY STARTING TO BREED THEM NOW SO THEY ACCEPT THE BEER CAN BETTER?

YEAH.

(Don) CHICKEN?

SHEE, I JUST HOPE WE LIVE TO SEE TOMORROW.

DRUNKEN CHICKEN.

(Don) GUESS YOU'LL FIND OUT ABOUT THAT SOON ENOUGH.

SAY HALLELUJAH.

IT APPEARS WE'RE STILL ALIVE AND STILL ON THE NORTH SHORE, THOUGH THE PACE HERE IN ABITA SPRINGS IS CONSIDERABLY MORE SERENE, EXPECT PERHAPS FOR THE UCM MUSEUM, CREATED BY JOHN PREBLE AFTER A VISIT TO ONE OF OUR FAVORITE PLACES, ROSS AND CARLA WARD'S TINKERTOWN OUTSIDE ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO.

IT WAS LIKE, YOU KNOW, WALKING INTO MY TWIN BROTHER'S BEDROOM AND SEEING, HE'S GOT ALL THE SAME STUFF I HAVE.

IT WAS A REVELATION FOR ME, THAT SOMEBODY COULD ACTUALLY DO THIS WITH STUFF, THE STUFF THAT I HAD COLLECTED, SAVED IN MY ATTIC, UNDER MY BED, NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO WITH.

HERE HE HAD--HE GAVE ME A BLUEPRINT TO DO SOMETHING WITH THE STUFF I HAD.

AND I HAVE A SIGN HERE, "IF YOU LIKE THIS GIFT SHOP, YOU WILL LIKE THE MUSEUM."

I WAS GOING TO PUT THAT THE OTHER WAY: "IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE GIFT SHOP, GET OUT."

BUT YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T WANT TO BE TOO NEGATIVE.

HERE'S BASICALLY ONE OF THE REVELATIONS OF THE MUSEUM.

I WAS IMPRESSED WITH THE HOSE COLLECTION, REALLY.

AND YOU NOTICE, I'VE GOT MORE THAN FOUR, SO IT'S A FOREMOST COLLECTION.

WHOA.

WHOA.

Y'ALL ARE IDIOTS.

(Randy) BUT IS IT A FISH, OR IS IF A REPTILE?

(John) HARD TO SAY, YOU KNOW.

IT'S MORE FISH THAN REPTILE, BUT CERTAINLY-- HE'S--RIGHT NOW HE'S VERY NICE.

YOU DON'T WANT TO MAKE HIM MAD.

DARRYL, THE DOGGIE GATOR.

HE'S NICE.

[chomping] THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

THAT'S GORGEOUS.

DID YOU DO THAT YOURSELF, OR IS THAT JUST-- (John) YEAH, I DID IT.

INSIDE WE HAVE SOME OLD BICYCLES, SOME VINTAGE BICYCLES AND CUSTOM BICYCLES.

AND IT'S A BIG ATTRACTION TO THE MUSEUM, 'CAUSE IT KIND OF BREAKS UP THE PACE OF THE MUSEUM.

THE HARDEST PART IS BREAKING UP THE DAMN TILES AND GETTING THEM READY.

AND WE DO THAT ALL DAY LONG, BECAUSE YOU KNOW THERE'S A LOT OF PLATES AND DISHES AND THINGS THAT YOU GOTTA SNIP AND BREAK AND CRACK.

(Mike) OH , I SEE, SO YOU'RE NOT JUST SE TTING IT IN THE CONCRETE.

(John) NO, FOOL.

DID HE JUST CA LL ME FOOL?

(Randy) I THINK HE DID.

NO, I MEANT IDIOT.

I'M SORRY.

OH, JEEZ.

THESE ARE MY GOOD PIECES HERE.

THIS IS THE VALUABLE STUFF TO ME.

THIS IS STUFF THAT--YOU KNOW.

AND MY ARCHIVES HERE, YOU KNOW.

THIS IS--I SHOULD PUT THAT IN A VAULT, BUT-- DID YOU PAY $3, $3 APIECE?

(Mike) I DON'T-- I DON'T REMEMBER.

(Randy) DON WAS TAKING CARE OF IT FOR US.

IT'S $3 OR ONE SACAGAWEA, RIGHT?

(Don) PRETTY NICE COLLECTION OF PAINTING YOU GOT HERE.

(John) YEAH, NOW THE PAINT BY NUMBERS ARE A BIG DEAL IN A MUSEUM, AND WE ARE--YOU KNOW, WE WERE THE PREMIERE EXHIBIT OF PAINT BY NUMBERS IN THE NATION, AND THEN THE DAMN SMITHSONIAN COMES OVER AND SPIES ON ME AND STEALS MY IDEA, AND IT'S LIKE, "OH, THEY THOUGHT OF PAINT BY NUMBERS AS BEING SOMETHING COLLECTIBLE" WHEN I'VE BEEN COLLECTING THEM ALL MY LIFE, NEVER PAID OVER $1.

AND WHAT, SO THE SMITHSONIAN TAX MONEY, WHAT, $500 FOR A FRIGGIN' PAINT BY NUMBER?

NOT AT THE UCM MUSEUM.

THAT ONE YOU GOTTA PRESS REALLY HARD.

IT'S A MACHO BUTTON.

OW.

THERE YOU GO.

OH, THERE YOU GO.

THE FEATURE ATTRACTION OF THE MUSEUM IS WHAT WE CALL RIVER ROAD, AND THAT'S OUR COMPILATION, COMPILATION OF THINGS THAT RELATE TO OLD STATE HIGHWAYS AND WHAT WAS ON THE OLD SIDE OF STATE HIGHWAYS.

SO WE GOT MOTELS.

WE GOT GUN SHOPS.

WE GOT TOY STORES.

WE GOT HOTELS.

WE GOT LOUNGES.

WE GOT CATFISH BARNS, SNAKE FARMS.

YOU KNOW, WE HAVE A ROADSIDE ATTRACTION THAT CELEBRATES RO ADSIDE ATTRACTIONS.

(Randy) AND YOU CARVED THESE?

CARVED THEM, MODELED THEM, SC ULPTED THEM, YOU KNOW, BAKED THEM AND DID WHATEVER.

FOUND THEM IN McDONALD'S IN THE HAPPY MEAL.

WHATEVER WORKED WE NT INTO THE-- YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE CALL THIS A DIORAMA, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THAT IS.

WE HAVE MARDI GRAS.

WE HAVE JAZZ FUNERALS.

WE HAVE MOBILE HOMES WITH TORNADOS WHIPPING THROUGH 'EM.

WE HAVE THE BEST OF THE SOUTH RIGHT HERE AT THE UCM MUSEUM, ABITA SPRINGS, LOUISIANA.

YOU KNOW, $3 IS A PRETTY GOOD DEAL.

AND WE MIGHT BE RAISING IT UP, SO I DON'T KNOW IF YOUR VIEWERS MIGHT WANT TO COME EARLY TO GET IN ON THE PRICE BREAK.

(Don) WHILE IT'S STILL-- $3.

IT'S MY MUSEUM.

SHUT UP AND PAY THE $3 AND WALK THROUGH IT.

(Don) WE'D HAVE TO AGREE THAT JOHN HAS TAKEN TINKERTOWN AND GIVEN IT A SOUTHERN TWIST.

NOW IF HE COULD JUST GET THAT SACAGAWEA THING FIGURED OUT.

(John) THAT'S NOT A SOUTHERN TERM, IS IT?

THAT'S, LIKE, A YANKEE COIN.

(Don) FROM DEEP IN THE HEART OF DIXIE, THIS IS DON THE CAMERA GUY-- WHOO!

(Don) SIGNING OFF.

Captioning provided by KCPT Television.

Captioning by Annie atCaptionMax www.captionmax.com BIG AL.

I'M CATCHING BETTER.

(Don) MI NK OIL, RIGHT?

I ASKED AL TO MAKE ME CATCH BETTER, AND I THINK IT'S WORKING.

(Mike) I HAVEN'T DROPPED ONE YET, HAVE I?

GET THAT GOOD WET ARMPIT THERE.

RIGHT AT THE LENS NOW.

YOU GOTTA CATCH THIS ONE.

COMPARING UNDERARM STAINS?

PROBABLY THAT'S SO TALL, MIKE, TO KEEP THE GATORS FROM CLIMBING UP AND EATING PEOPLE ON THE GAZEBO.

(Randy) WO ULD YOU LIKE TO GO VISIT AN GOLA, DON?

IT'S NOT TOO FAR FROM HERE?

ANGOLA?

IS THERE--THERE'S A PRISON THERE, ISN'T THERE?

YEAH.

TO THE VAN.

WOW, WE ALMOST MADE THAT LOOK GOOD.

WE DID.

[to the tune of Sweet Georgia Brown] ♪ DA-DA DA-DA DA-DA DA.

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