[♪♪♪] -And I didn't even bring any party favors.

-Oh, I did, and you'll get it later on.

[laughs] -Happy Birthday!

-Happy Birthday, all of you, whenever your birthday is.

Happy Birthday.

Say it to 'em, Bly.

-[both] Happy Birthday.

-Let's say it again.

-Yeah.

-[both] Happy Birthday.

-[laughs] Excuse me.

We're a little punchy.

-And it is our birthday party.

Yeah, we've been here-- -Do you hear that noise whinin' in the background just barely?

-Yes.

-You know what that is?

-That's a recordin' of you earlier, I think, whinin' in the background.

-[both laugh] -When are we gonna go on, I'm sick of waitin'.

No, that is an ice cream freezer.

-Oh!

-Spinnin' in the distance.

It has been spinnin' now for hours and it doesn't sound like it's gotten any-- -Well, we'll see.

-I don't know what's goin' on.

-Well, neither do I.

-Have you ever had ice cream fail to get hard?

-Nope.

Always had a tremendous amount of success.

-Ah, how many times you ever made it?

-Dozens of times.

-[laughs] -How do you think I got like this?

-Uh-huh.

-Hey, let me show everybody a little trick here.

-Oh, watch this, watch this.

-Ladies and gentlemen, let's see if I can do it.

-Wasn't that terrible?

Hey!

-And it went all the way down here to-- let me try it one more time.

-All right, let's try it.

Here we go.

-I been doin' it all-- -Hey, wasn't that terrible?

-Can you believe it?

Once more-- -[Larry] Not good.

-I'm not gonna give up.

I did it a dozen times before.

-[Larry] That's it.

Why don't you balance that thing on your finger like you did before?

At least you can do that.

That doesn't count because it-- balance the thing on your finger like you did before.

-Wait a second.

-[Larry] You can do that.

-I'm-- -[Larry laughs] [man] Hey, Laban.

It's only a half-hour show.

-There it is, hey!

-[Larry] There you go, hey!

It's amazin'.

-[cheers and applause] -Now-- -Now, show 'em the balance on your finger.

-All right, let me balance it here on my finger.

-[scoffs] Isn't that amazin'?

-Terrific, all right.

-But hey, have you ever done it with a whisk?

-[Laban] No.

-It is amazin', isn't it?

-[Laban] [laughs] That's kinda-- [laughs] I don't wanna even get into it.

-I'm gonna make ice cream.

-And I'm goin' to make a Chocolate Covered Cherry Cake that was sent in by one of our viewers.

Who was it?

I know the recipe-- a Laura Steele.

-Laura Steele of-- -[both] Bristol, Tennessee.

-Thank you, Laura.

-Thank you, Laura.

-Thank you, Laura, appreciate it.

-Thank you, thank you.

-Well-- -[Larry] You want me to start?

-Yeah, why don't you?

-[Larry] All right.

[Laban] Go ahead.

-Okay.

Here's what we're gonna do.

We're gonna take two cups of half-and-half.

Two cups of half-and-half.

Do you realize if you put two of these together, you get a whole?

-[Laban scoffs] -Ahhh.

[Laban] That's the most half-and-half I've ever seen.

-Two cups of half-and-half.

[Laban] You got a quart-- a gallon of half-and-half?

-Oh, I'm gonna use this stuff on my cereal tomorrow morning.

-[Laban] Oh.

-Two, a little over the side there, boys and girls, but that's all right.

Now, we're gonna put this on the heat because we're gonna scald it just a little bit.

We're gonna scald it.

And two cups of whipping cream and that is exactly two cups in that container right there-- two cups in this mysterious container.

[laughs] In the nondescript container.

And now, what we're gonna do is we're just gonna heat that almost to the boiling point but not quite.

We're gonna scald it, we don't wanna boil it.

And that's the first part of my ice cream recipe.

-[Laban] All right, well-- -That's it.

That was as exciting as this show is gonna get, too.

-[Laban] Yeah, yeah.

Let's see, what do I have to do?

All right, I have to-- -[Larry laughs] -First thing I have to do-- oh, have you got enough eggs to loan me three?

I just realized I didn't bring the eggs with me.

[Larry] Yeah, yeah, I sure do.

In fact, I have one with four left over in it that I didn't use earlier on the recipe.

-[Laban] Thanks, and I'll pay you back.

-.that is now being-- Sure you will.

Being done in the background.

-[Laban] All right.

You gotta have three eggs and you break 'em down into this pan.

[Larry] I hope that motor is not burning up on that-- I borrowed this from our friend, the Wilkins.

[Laban] Oh.

no.

[Larry] And he went down in his basement and got this out and oiled it for me before I brought it over here today.

But he says, "Now if this thing goes [imitates whirring noise], it means that the ice cream is finished and please unplug it 'cause it will burn up."

[chuckles] -[Laban] Oh, no.

-And that's all I need for this thing to cost me $120, this show.

-[Laban] All right, now, I-- all right, three eggs are beaten up in this pan and I'm gonna throw in a teaspoon of almond flavoring.

All right, so that's in, beat that up.

And I'm gonna add to it a can of cherry pie filling.

[Larry] Take your time, take your time, take your time.

-Uh-huh.

-We have till the wee hours to get this program done.

-All right, now let's see if I can-- all right, now.

This is a can of this gloppy cherry pie filling.

[Larry] Do you know I went to a Chinese restaurant here in town some time ago and they used that on the sweet and sour.

-[Laban] Ugh.

-Now, I think that's disgusting.

And as a matter of fact, we will be putting up the recipe-- [both] The name of the restaurant.

-[Laban] .that did that.

-[Larry] .and their phone number at the end of the program so you can all call 'em and complain.

[Laban] Now, my friend, John Eckert up in Staunton, Virginia, that travels during the good weather-- -[Larry] Expensively?

[Laban] --with the carnival makes elephant ears.

[Larry] Uh-huh, and they use that on 'em.

-[Laban] They do.

-Yeah, they use that on 'em.

[Laban] This is what they use on the elephant ears at the carnival.

-[Larry] Good stuff, gloppy.

-Real tasty.

All right now-- -[Larry] Good and gloppy.

-We have to combine the eggs.

and the cherries here.

-[Larry laughs] -Do you wanna do something else or do you want me to keep going?

-[Larry] No, I really don't.

I want you to just keep on going.

-All right.

[Larry] I'm going home here in a minute.

It's past my-- past my time.

-Now, you have to combine-- -[Larry] Union rules, you know.

-Oh, yeah.

Uh-hm.

We-- -[Larry] Joke, joke.

-We work on the union label around here.

[Larry laughs] [Laban] They're gonna laugh when we join.

[both laugh] -[Larry] All right.

-All right.

Now, here is-- -This milk is looking like milk.

-[Laban] All right now, here-- my cherries are now mixed up with the eggs and the almond extract.

-Those mixed-up cherries.

-All right.

Now, to that, I'm going to add this box of devil's food cake mix.

-Oh, no.

Say it's not true.

-It is, it is.

Now, you can't-- when you do this, you don't put the oil in that this recipe calls for.

You don't put the oil in.

-[Larry] Don't do that.

-And you don't-- you don't use your mixer on it because your mixer will break up the cherries and make 'em a mess.

Oh!

[Larry] Oh, it's [indistinct] sealed for your protection.

-How will I ever get it open?

I can't get it open.

Have you got a knife?

-[Larry] You never know.

No, I don't.

-And neither do I, well.

[Larry] Let me get you one.

Good heavens.

-Well, I don't know.

I just can't-- why did they put-- I know that it's for, you know, I know that it's for a good reason, but gee whiz.

-Yeah, you never know when some child's gonna eat a bag full of that stuff and well-- -Croak.

-And rise to the occasion.

-[laughs] Yes, kid eats this.

Now, don't try this at home, boys and girls.

All right now, you just put the whole thing in.

[Larry] You'll notice that at no time did his hands leave his body when he was pouring that.

-[Laban] All right.

This knife makes me nervous.

All right, and you start to mix this up real good by hand.

And this is real important that you do this this way.

Do not use your Mixmaster on this.

And.

it's, as you can see, it's beginning to get more doughy.

[Larry laughs] [Larry] Is there any part of this you're saving back?

[Laban] [scoffs] Oh, yes.

They're awesome.

-'Cause whenever you are, I've got some things now I need to do.

[Laban] Okay.

Well, I have to keep doing this for another few minutes, so you go ahead with whatever it is that you feel that is necessary for you to do in order to assure the success of this show today.

-[Larry] All right.

[laughs] -[Laban] Go right ahead, see if I care.

-[indistinct] you one time.

Well, as the old ice cream freezer continues to whine in the background, if you take a look at this, you'll see that this is getting just a little tad frothy on the edges.

And you don't want it to boil, so it's right to the point now where you pull it off the fire just a little bit.

And we're gonna cut that down to simmer 'cause we're gonna put it back on there in just a couple of minutes.

Now, what I have to do is I have to take eight eggs and I have to separate the yolks from-- -[Laban] The jokes.

-The jokes.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen.

Them's the yolks.

We gotta take eight yolks, this calls for.

This is a very rich ice cream.

And you gotta get that-- one.

Excuse me, folks.

I have to open up another one.

I lent my eggs to Mr. Johnson, so I'm having to open-- -[Laban] Do you realize-- -[Larry] Two.

[Laban] That over in the foreign fields of Europe where they're havin' all of the problems in the communist country that it's probably midnight about right now.

[laughs] [Larry] I have a terrible problem here.

This is really embarrassing for a close-up.

Two.

[Laban] You're lucky if they got a close-up today.

[laughs] [Larry] Three.

How many more I need?

-[man] Five.

[Larry] Mathematical wizards here.

[humming] -[man] Four.

-[Larry] Four.

I'm sorry, but I did a right bad job on that one.

[man] This is thrilling.

[Larry] Five.

[Laban] How many of these are you doing?

-[Larry] Eight.

-[Laban] Oh.

-Six.

-[man] Six.

[Larry] And here's the next to the last one, seven.

[man] Seven.

[Larry] And finally-- [laughs] They're a little punchy back there, they're a little wacky.

There we go.

-[cheers and applause] -And now I wanna give this to Jim.

[laughs] No, that's all right.

Now, what we gotta to do is we got to put some sugar in that and we're gonna whisk that around.

I'm gonna steal the whisk out of there and put it in there.

-[Laban] Oh, don't you think that's kind of whisky?

-Oh.

Two-thirds cup of sugar.

I've heard stuff like that all day today.

-[Laban] What?

-That's what-- no, never mind.

This sugar is just the lumpiest stuff I've ever seen in my life, I'll swear.

-Well, here.

Do you wanna use my-- mine?

It's not so lumpy.

-Two-thirds cup of sugar, I'm gonna whisk it all up real good.

Get the lumps out if you can, although I don't know whether it's possible with this.

I'm just gonna pull 'em out of there in a minute.

And you gotta keep whiskin' that around and get it all.

gooped up there.

Now, what you'll do at this point, once you've got that done, you beat the yolks and the sugar until thick and lemon-colored.

-Till you're thick of it.

-Is that lemon-colored enough?

Well, it looks a little purple.

-[Laban laughs] -Then, you whisk in a third of the scalded cream.

Oh, how terrible, it's gotten a terrible.

-[Laban chuckles] -[Larry scoffs] [Laban] I think that's some of that Crisco from the time we fried chicken in that pan.

[both laugh] [Larry] Put some of that back in there and we're gonna whisk that up and then we're gonna return it all back in there.

And in a couple of minutes, I'm going to run off the set and check my-- -[Laban laughs] -[Larry] [laughs] which doesn't seem to be doing much more than it did two hours ago when it first started-- -[Laban] Well, that's all right.

[Larry] --in my conference room.

I got to be the only advertising man in town that was doing ice cream in his conference room today.

All right.

-[Laban] Well, better there than in that other room down the hall.

[laughs] -All righty.

Is that everything supposed to go in there?

-[Laban] Uh-huh.

-[man] Yeah.

-Half-and-half, whipping cream.

We'll add the vanilla last.

Now, the recipe I'm going to show you today calls for a vanilla bean split lengthwise.

[chuckles] And I'm not gonna do that.

I'm just gonna go with vanilla.

I'll just split this bottle lengthwise and I'm gonna throw that in there after a while.

Now, return all of this back into your scalded stuff.

Complete with those big lumps flying everywhere.

Listen to 'em , just flying all over the place.

And now, you're gonna return this to the heat and put it on low heat.

And at this point, you gotta stick with it until it thickens into a nice custard.

All right?

-[Laban] Hm-mm.

[Larry] This'll be custard's last stand here.

Uh, full of 'em here today, aren't we?

-[dish thudding] -All right, there we go, there we go, there we go.

And that's what's I'm gonna do for a little bit.

.Johnson.

-[Laban] Okay.

All right.

[Larry] That and clean off my area here so I can bring in my-- -Now, here's my batter for my Chocolate Covered Cherry Cake, and here is a 9 by 13 pan.

And you just scrape your batter on down in here.

[scoffs] Did I hear somebody up there?

[Larry] Scrape your batter on down to the ground.

[Laban] Making a unseemly, untoward remark about the way this delicious chocolate batter looks?

[Larry] Tell you what, got those cherries in there, it looks good to me.

[Laban scraping the pan] It really does!

[Laban] All right.

Now.

[dish clanking] And you spread it out and you need to pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees.

And you're going to bake this for 25 minutes.

And then, you start testing to see if it's done.

[cutlery clanking] And I think even though the recipe that Laura sent in said it would be done in 20 to 25 minutes, I think you'll find that it will take a little bit longer.

But, do it for 25, and then start checkin' out your-- where is my spoon?

Check it out to make sure that it is done.

And you do that by inserting a toothpick in the middle of it.

And when you pull the toothpick out, if it's dry, it's done.

And if it's still gloppy, you need to put it back in the oven for three or four minutes.

All right.

Now, that pretty much is the cake batter, and you'll find that it just turns out beautifully.

And we'll put this over here 'cause we're not going to bake that one right now.

No, folks, I already made another one.

Now, we're gonna make the icing for it.

And you make this while your cake is baking because you need to pour the icing over the fiery hot cake when you bring it out of the oven.

-Hot cake?

-Hm-mm.

And to make this, we start with one cup o' sugar in a pan and to it, we're going to add five tablespoons-- count 'em, one, two, three, four and five-- of margarine.

So let's see, that's four.

Half a stick is four, and that makes five.

So, there it goes.

And that goes down in there.

And then also, we're going to put in three ounces of evaporated milk.

Now, this little can holds five.

So it's gonna be a little over half the can.

[Larry] This is turning into a lovely custard, you may wanna look at it.

It's quite gorgeous.

And again, you don't wanna boil this.

You just wanna thicken it.

If you get a startling overhead of that, you'll see it's getting a little frothy and it's getting a little thicker now.

And you'll just get it almost to the boiling point and make a real nice custard out of it.

And then, we will pull it off of that heat.

So, I'm just whisking it around.

You don't want to burn it.

No one wants to have burned ice cream.

In fact, I'm gonna cut it off right now because-- -[Laban] But we wouldn't mind if it was cold and frozen.

-I've got it right to the point I want it.

Now, just before you go to put it into whatever you're gonna make your ice cream in, you do several things to it.

First of all, you take some unsalted butter.

and sort of dot it around in there and mix it in at this point.

And also, at the last possible minute, you add about two tablespoons-- if you're gonna do it with just this kind of vanilla-- two or three tablespoons of vanilla depending on how much vanilla taste you want it to have.

I sort of like it a little strong on the vanilla side, and you mix that all in there.

And then, you just pour that into your container.

Well, maybe you got one of those little fancy ones.

You put it in the freezer, and you drag it out every couple of hours and turn it or whatever.

However you make your ice cream from there according to the instructions on your machine.

[Laban] You know, while you're doing that, you reckon we ought to go to the recipes, Bly?

-[Larry] Sure, sure.

-Let's look at these recipes.

Chocolate Covered Cherry Cake from ol' Laura Steele down in Bristol where the kids in Bristol are sharp as.

One teaspoon of almond flavoring, one can-- that's a 22, 21-22-ounce can of cherry pie filling, one box of devil's food cake mix.

Frosting has one cup of sugar, five tablespoons of margarine, a third of a cup of evaporated milk and one six-ounce package of chocolate chips.

[Larry] And the Easy Basic Vanilla Ice Cream-- two cups of half-and-half, two cups of whipping cream, one vanilla bean split lengthwise or about three or four tablespoons of vanilla, if you're lazy like me, and eight egg yolks, two-thirds cup of sugar, four tablespoons or about a half-stick of unsalted butter cut into pieces, dotted into it.

And then, just use whatever instructions you would normally use for making your ice cream in your freezer.

And I have brought the freezer onto the set, the whiny freezer.

And boy, I could just hardly-- -What is that?

This is an old one, Maid of Honor.

-[laughs] Yes, I can believe that.

This will be the only maid of honor to come out of the Wilkins residence.

And we're gonna-- well, Lord, it's not as much as I would like but it is stiffer than-- -Good.

-stiff.

You know, this used to be the best part-- -Well, did you fill that up?

Recipe must not make a whole lot.

-Must not make a whole lot, that's right.

I need a big spoon.

I can't get to it.

-[Laban] Well, here.

-Oh, thank you, thank you.

You know, the best part of makin' ice cream, this used to be the best part right here was getting the dashers.

-[Laban] Licking the dashers.

[Larry] Licking the dashers.

But today, we're just gonna take the dashers and toss 'em aside.

But I wanna tell you-- let me give this a little try here.

[Laban] Yeah, let me, let me put my finger on it.

Mm-mm-mm.

-I think it's right good.

-[Laban] Hmm, it is.

Oh!

Missed!

-[laughs] Oh, that is the best part of makin' ice cream right there.

-Now, my mixture of sugar and butter is boiling, and it needs to boil for a minute.

So we'll time that.

Oh, you know, Miss Witch is here today with a letter that we got this week, and I think we probably oughta let her come in-- whoops, good grief-- and read this letter so we'll know what we're doin' next.

Well, look at her.

She's got a little party hat on, a little birthday hat.

-Oh, that's just adorable.

-You're so sweet.

Well, let's see.

Let's get the old witch out of here.

[Larry] [laughs] Get the witch out.

-Oh, good grief.

This is one of those long ones.

Look at this, Bly.

Do you wanna read this?

-[dish clattering] -[Larry] No!

[laughs] I wanna eat ice cream.

-Suit yourself.

Well, "Dear Gentlemens, "I is very excitable at the present time "because I have just gotten me a new job "which will be payin' me more cash moneys "than I be presently get."

-[Larry laughs] -"As a matter of effect."

-[Larry] Uh-huh.

-".it is definitely gonna be "the bestest job that anybody here "in our town of Cracked Rock, Tennessee could have.

"See, I be the new head chef at the county work farm "where my husband, Big Boy Hostetter, "is now residin' due to that shootin' up at Hog Tail, "which is another matter that I do not necessarily think "I ought to be talkin' about on national TV and all, "but for which everybody know he got a bum rap 'cause that old judge "had it out for my mama after that time she caught him bare-handed."

-Good thing it's a long show.

-Bare-handed.

-Bare-handed.

-"Anyways, we're gonna have "this big old party "to celebration my new work status.

So, what can we serve?"

And it's from Patsy Joe Hostetter at Cracked Rock, Tennessee.

-Huh!

Well, it just so happens that we're gonna do.

-[Laban] Yeah, next week.

-.a new job promotion party.

It says here.

-[Laban] Yeah.

So, Patsy Joe, next week, honey, we'll do somethin' for you to have.

Now, I'm addin' this little box of chocolate chips, little six-ounce package into here.

-While they're doin' that, let me-- let me show 'em this fine bowl of ice cream.

It is gorgeous.

It is real firm and beautiful.

Isn't that gorgeous?

Don't tell me I don't know what I'm doin'.

Ha!

And that's lovely.

But I tell you what, ladies and gentlemen, it don't make this much.

That recipe does not make enough to fill that.

And that's why I kept goin'.

But if you look down in there, you'll see that there is the greatest of plenty, we could probably feed about-- oh, I don't know.

-[Laban] Oh, two or three of us.

-Probably two or three more people in there.

In fact, I imagine the staff will have an opportunity at it just as soon as.

-[Laban] Now, Bly.

- we get out of here.

-[Laban] .if everybody will look here I have melted the six ounces of chocolate chips and you pour this icing over the hot cake.

-[Larry] Woo!

-So let's get over it.

[Larry] Let's get on it and get to it and get down with it in one time, baby.

Well, we've already got those here, so we'll just set those inside those.

We're gonna have a little birthday-- homemade ice cream and homemade cake.

Mm-mm-mm.

Well, of course, we've already tried the ice cream and we have deemed it wonderful.

And don't eat it too fast 'cause it will go right here and just give you a powerful headache.

[man] [indistinct].

[Larry] It really will give you a terrible headache.

Hmm.

that's real good.

This is just a tad little bit grainy.

And you know what you can do to prevent a little graininess in this?

You put a little-- -Put it in the microwave.

[crew laughs] -[scoffs] Well, that probably would work.

-[Laban laughs] -No.

What you do is you put a little unflavored gelatin in there.

Just a little bit, and it will smooth it right out.

That's true.

When you're making it, not afterwards.

Don't sprinkle it on top, all right?

Let me try this cake.

It looks wonderful.

Mm.

Well, boy, I wanna tell you, this is a fine, fine meal.

-Chocolate Covered Cherry Cake, what more could you ask for?

-Happy Birthday, one time, baby.

-[man whistles "Happy Birthday"] -Hm.

-Oh, somewhere in the world right now, somebody's sell-- celebrating their birthday.

[Larry] Somebody's selling their birthday?

[both laugh] [man whistling "Happy Birthday"] -Look at 'em-- -Now, the little workers in the background, ladies and gentlemen, whistling.

-And look at that crew, they're all standing back there.

You know, some stuff, they won't come out and eat.

But this stuff, they just can't wait to get their lips on.

Look at 'em , salivatin' and crawlin'.

Mike Carol hadn't been here for two years, and he's so excited, he doesn't know what to do.

-He celebrated seven birthdays this year.

[Laban] Hm-mm.

-Hm, this is wonderful.

I'm sorry you all can't enjoy this, this homemade ice cream.

-I know!

What do you mean, there's a minute left?

-[laughs] -[Laban laughs] Let me cut another piece of cake.

Well, let's eat some more.

Oh, I hate to keep stuffin' myself like a pig, but-- [Larry] No, you don't.

You love stuffin' yourself like a pig and you always have.

Well, we should have taken more time lickin' those dashers, I knew it.

That's the best part of it all.

-Thank you so much.

We're glad that you could join us again for Cookin' Cheap .

Get your mouth empty and say something, Bly, 'cause my mouth is tired of talkin'.

That's what I thought.

It's real good.

Goodbye, everybody.

-Bye!

[♪♪♪] [music fades away]