[♪♪♪] -Ah, the smell of onions... -Oh.

-...freshly fryin' are in the air.

Howdy, this is Larry.

-And I'm Laban, I think.

I'm not sure; I'm confused today.

-And welcome to Cookin' Cheap .

It's so wonderful to have you here and we're glad that you should come and for once you came by invitation... -Oh, my goodness.

-...instead of just showin' up.

I see Harold sittin' behind camera number three back there lookin' very-- -Excuse me.

Uh-huh.

-I don't know what he's lookin', he's lookin'... -Pensive.

-Pensive.

That's a good one, lookin' pensive.

And of course, we have his snappy wife, the lovely Doris, standin' over here.

-Yeah.

She'll be in here eventually.

-Told us a few minutes ago that we were keepin' her up.

So anyway.

[laughs] -Oh geez, that's terrible.

-She is, but we love her.

-What are we doin' today?

-I don't know.

I think that only the witch-- how's that for a cue-- could possibly tell us that.

-Well... -And what does she say, Laban?

-You wanna read it?

-Oh sure, you know I do.

[reading] "Dear Big Boy and Johnson."

I'll swear.

And with me tryin' to lose weight all the time.

[reading] "How about hamburger?

"Let's talk real cheap.

Thanks.

Your friend, Oprah."

[laughs] -[Laban laughs] Oh dear.

-It's Oprah McGillicuddy.

She's a good friend of ours, lives down the street here.

It's true.

Well, I'm fryin' up hamburger even as we speak.

About a pound of it.

-Well, I've already fried up a pound and a half.

What are you doin'?

-Well, what I'm doin' here, according to the old recipe on the wall, is Hamburger Potato Casserole.

-[Laban] Mm-mm.

-And it was sent in by Vera White of Lynchburg, Virginia.

Vera, thank you very much, honey.

It's an interesting recipe.

That's all I gotta say.

-Well, I'm doin' shepherd's pie, which is the first recipe we ever did on this show... -[Larry] We did on the show.

-...18 years ago.

Bly did it and it never was right.

So, I'm tryin'-- -[Larry laughs] Listen to him.

Just listen to him.

-And I have cooked a pound and a half-- it calls for two pounds, but it was just too much food and I cut it back-- a pound and a half of hamburger and drained it.

And that's real important.

You want to drain it.

And now in the same pan, I've got a diced onion and I'm cookin' it and lettin' it get tender.

And then I'll add some more stuff to that in a few minutes.

-[Larry] Well, my recipe from Vera doesn't really say what you're supposed to do with the pound and a half of hamburger.

So, we can only assume that we're supposed to fry it first, but it doesn't really say that.

But I just think it would be a little unusual to take a pound of raw burger and spread it out all over top of some potatoes.

[crew] Laban, where'd that recipe come from?

-So-- -Oh.

Oh.

This-- yeah.

-Where did that recipe come from?

-Mine came from Owen McGirr of Belfast, Northern Ireland.

-I beg your pardon?

-No kiddin'.

-Is that true?

Well, it is.

-Well, read your recipe sometime, Bly.

-Well, I read mine.

I don't read yours.

Why would I want to read yours?

-Yes indeed, one of our foreign viewers, and we now have 'em, so thanks a lot.

-Yeah, well.

Now, so I got a pound and a half of hamburger and I'm fryin' that up right there on top of the stove.

And I'm gonna take about four or five, it says four big potatoes, I think it is, four medium potatoes.

Well, I have-- didn't have any medium.

So, I've just-- I'm gonna do five semi-medium potatoes.

I'm just gonna do the work on those right now.

-Well, you know, I just didn't think I could peel a potato today because I don't feel real good with this sinus stuff.

So I said phooey with it, and I'm using instant potatoes.

-What can I tell you, folks?

-Uh, nothing.

-It's just pathetic down here... -It's a miracle.

-...at Cookin' Cheap, it's a miracle we can move around at all.

So, well, anyway, I'm just gonna go on ahead and-- I didn't peel the ones that are in there.

I just washed 'em up real good.

-Mm-hmm.

-I like potatoes with their little coats on.

They're good for you.

You know that.

-Yes, they are full of-- Now, I'm gonna add a chopped tomato into mine.

-I'm gonna make a little switch in mine today, by the way.

Mine calls for just a little bit of Accent.

And you know, it's got MSG in it and it would just give me a terrible headache.

So, I'm not gonna do it.

I'm just gonna add a little somethin'.

-I never knew you had that kind of... -Oh, it's terrible.

You remember that time we went to that Chinese restaurant, and I had to lay down?

-[chuckles] -I hadn't even eaten yet.

-I didn't know that was from the MSG.

-[laughs] I hadn't had anythin' to eat, but that's beside the point.

Anyway.

So four potatoes, actually, yeah, I'm doin' four today.

I was gonna do five.

I've changed my mind after I heard Johnson talk about how lazy he is today and having problems with those arthritic fingers.

I figured I'll just cut back too.

-[Laban] Mm-hmm.

-So anyway.

I think this needs to either be covered when you bake it or you need to add more liquids to it because I don't think it has enough liquids in it.

-Right.

-But I think if you covered it, it probably would do okay.

-Well, it is a strange kind of recipe.

-Well, it is.

It is indeed.

I need to put a little salt and pepper in that.

-You know, I have a feeling that this guy that sent us this recipe from over in the foreign fields in Ireland, he's called it Irish Shepherd's Pie, but it just looks like plain old shepherd's pie to me.

-[Larry] Mm-hmm.

Shepherd's pie.

-But in any event, I think that he would probably use lamb instead of ground beef.

-[Larry] If it's a true recipe.

You're right.

You're probably right.

Well, washin' these potatoes off a little bit here and I'm gonna slice 'em.

-All right.

Well, while you're doin' that, I'm gonna add a half a cup-- no, one cup of beef bouillon.

[Larry] Well, this thin' certainly is takin' its good old time today.

Have they paid the electricity down here?

[Laban] Yeah.

My side seems to be workin' very well.

[Larry] Well, that's just it.

It's sucking off all the power from my side over here.

I got to take one of these big old things and put a little Pam on it.

Or you can just take some plain old Crisco and smear it on there.

Whatever you wanna do.

It just calls for a little somethin' so it won't all stick to the bottom.

And Vera is-- little liquid is in this, I could certainly understand why you'd have to grease the pan.

Although I love Vera and I trust her very much.

At least I think I do anyway.

-Well, I put the greatest of plenty of pepper and a little stash of salt in mine, and now I'm gonna add about a tablespoon of fresh parsley.

[Larry] Oh, it does look pretty though, doesn't it?

[Laban] Uh-huh.

And a half a teaspoon, I think it is, of thyme.

And you know, I'm out of sage.

So... [Larry] Oh, you'll never be out of sage.

[Laban] Well, I am.

So, I'm substitutin' garlic powder.

[Larry] Well, good for you.

[Laban] Listen to him screamin' out there.

[Larry] Is that a little... [laughs] Is that a little tip that we can use?

-[Laban] No.

-[Larry] Uh-huh.

-[Laban] I don't think.

-[Larry] All right.

I've taken these potatoes.

What you do is you slice 'em real thin.

If you wanna do this recipe in a hurry, I would suggest that you slice these real thin, throw 'em in some water and parboil 'em first, just to be guaranteed they're going to be done.

Because by the time you assemble this, with the exception of the cheese and the soup going into it, it's virtually a, you know, all done anyway.

So, if you had to serve this in a hurry, you could save yourself a little time by just boilin' your potatoes first before you do all this.

What I'm doin' is exactly what Vera told me to do.

And this will be one of the few thin's that Vera tells me to do that I'm goin' to do in this recipe.

Uh, we're goin' to have the very lovely Doris come in in a little bit.

She's got Cream of Broccoli soup today.

-[Laban] Ooh.

-[Larry] And it was sent in by Janis and Marshall Lester of Newark, Delaware.

And I'll bet you it sounds good.

Is it a good one?

-[Doris] Not bad.

-Not bad.

She says it's not bad.

[chuckles] Now that is unbridled enthusiasm comin' from Doris Ford.

-[Laban] It certainly is.

-This does take quite a few potatoes and I'm sorry for takin' so long.

But you know, if I didn't do this, this recipe wouldn't last a minute and a half.

I'd be in the car on my way home.

So anyway, just take your time.

Do it right.

Slice 'em thin.

-[Laban] All right.

Now, I'm puttin' my reserved hamburger back into the pan.

-What'd you say you're doin'?

-[Laban] I say I'm puttin' it... That funny, you know, this hamburger looks exactly like [indistinct].

-[Larry laughs] -All right.

My reserved hamburger has gone back in the pan, and I have to let it cook for a few minutes to warm through and get all the flavors of the vegetables and herbs through it.

[Larry] Johnson, you should know by now not to ever anger the director.

[laughs] Don't be sayin' anything bad about her.

She's liable to never show you again.

She was doin' somethin' else, I'm sure.

-[Laban] Mm-hmm.

-You know, they make 'em do so much mathematical computations now back there.

[Laban] Well, and they have to answer the mail.

[Larry] And the phones.

They've got poor Carol workin' the front desk while she's directin' the show, and she's runnin' back and forth and wheezin' and huffin'.

She's a wonderful lady, but she can only do six things at once.

Now anyway, there we go.

Well, this stuff is finally gettin' to the point where I want it to get to.

Fryin' it up real good.

While we're waitin' for that to get just a little bit more done.

That was really lean.

It hasn't got an awful lot of fat.

I'm going to take a big old green pepper.

And what you do is you slice it in strips.

So, the first thing I'll do is de-seed it and slice it in strips.

-Oh, that sounds terrible.

-De-seed it?

-[Laban] Uh-huh.

-Mm-hmm.

So anyway, pull its little innards out and get all those seeds out.

-[Laban] Oh!

-And we'll slice it into little bitty thin strips.

Just little tiny thin strips is what you're gonna use for on top of it.

This goes in there too.

Now Doris is studyin' her recipe real hard because I think she figures she's caught me at somethin'.

Oh, okay.

Whew.

You know, it's just nerve-wrackin' when she stands over here and pats her foot and looks at the recipe while you're doin' the show.

Because you just never know what she's up to.

I'm not doin' this necessarily in the order that it comes in the recipe, but I will get my act together shortly.

[Laban] Well, while you're doin' that, well, let's see.

I guess this needs to cook though a little bit more.

-All right, I'm goin' to take this burger off of here.

So, what you do is you place the potatoes in a greased casserole dish and then you put the hamburger on top of that.

Like... so.

There we go.

That goes in there like that.

This is just a one-pot dish is what it amounts to.

I mean, this is, you get this, you got the whole shebang.

You got everythin' you need to eat.

One simple meal near as I can tell.

I got a hamburger all over everythin'.

Did I get any on you, Doris?

She's not even speakin' to me at this point.

Pound of ground beef and then you put the pepper, oh, onions.

Excuse me.

Calls for two onions.

I left one on the counter.

-[Laban laughs] -I thought it had rolled under the seat of my van again.

You know, we found more vegetables and stuff under there.

All right.

And don't make any jokes.

There we go.

And we're just gonna slice these up real good.

And that's gonna be the next thing that goes on top of this.

Are you betwixt and between at this point?

-Well, I'm ladling out the meat and the vegetable mixture with a slotted spoon so I can leave as much of the grease back in the pan as possible.

-Okay.

I'm gonna put some of these onions on here next.

I don't think it really matters if you break 'em up.

I've done 'em fairly thinly.

And they get layered on here next.

This recipe smells wonderful.

But then what wouldn't if you've got this much onions in it?

It ought to smell real good anyway, I would think.

Now, I got to do one more and then we'll put a layer of green peppers on it.

Mmm, that's not lookin' so good.

-Well, should we bring in the... -Well, yeah, the Cook Sisters?

-[Laban] ...Cook Sisters?

-[Larry] Sure.

While we're cuttin' and steamin' and...

I'm gonna use only a... Oh, here they come.

Excuse me.

I went to sleep there for a minute.

I thought the Cook Sisters were already in here, but they're not.

They're comin' in right now.

And here they are.

-Hey, Tootsie.

-Huh?

What?

-Well, you know, if you make a big mess in your kitchen like you usually do and you want to keep your cookbook pages clean.

-Say that again.

-Cookbook pages.

-Pages!

-Sounds like a herd of hens.

But if you wanna keep 'em clean, just cover it over with plastic wrap and then you can spatter and splash and everythin' you want.

-Oh, and have a good time.

-And just peel it off at the end and your cookbook pages will be pristine.

-Oh, Maisy, I'm tellin' ya.

-I'm Sister Cook.

-And I'm Tootsie Cook.

-And we're the Cook Sisters.

-All righty, I'm puttin' some more of these onions in here.

That's the second big old onion.

It looks like a preponderance of onions to me, but that's what it calls for.

Then what you do is you come in here with the green peppers and just place 'em around delicately and artistically if you possibly can.

Makin' a very lovely and beautiful presentation for all to enjoy.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

[laughs] So, there's that.

-[Laban] Now, I'm puttin' three tablespoons of margarine into this two cups of boilin' water because I'm using instant potatoes today.

I just didn't think I could peel a potato.

[Larry] Oh, for heaven's sake.

[Laban] Well, it just didn't look right.

[Larry] Between you and Doris, I'm just surprised we just bothered to even come by here today.

Oh, well.

Now the next thing I have to do is put soup, tomato soup, on this.

-[Laban] Holy cow.

-Yeah, it goes across here and then I also need to water it down a little, so I'm gonna use about half of it and put about half a can of water in it because it needs, it really does need to have a little more juice in it.

So.

Well, that certainly did a lot.

[laughs] It all still came out in one big blob.

Now what you do is you put that in the oven.

Oh, a little salt and pepper goes in there also.

And a little Accent if you love MSG.

And if you don't, don't bother with it.

I don't know what it's supposed to do.

A little salt and a little pepper.

And what you do is you put that in the oven at 350 degrees for about 40, 45 minutes.

And then you take it out and you put your favorite kind of cheese on it.

This one called for sliced cheese.

I prefer cheddar.

And like Mr. Johnson, I just didn't feel like doin' all that choppin' and cuttin' and gratin' today.

So, let's pretend like this has been in the oven for 40 minutes.

Can you all pretend like it's been in the oven for 40?

We have a few doubters here.

-[Laban] Uh-huh.

Always do.

-We have some people are havin' problems imagining that this has been in the oven for 40, 45 minutes.

But you take it out and you put your cheese on top and then put it back in until it's nice and melted on top.

And that should be about an hour's worth when it's all said and done.

It's real pretty.

It's a one-pot meal.

There it is.

Quite lovely.

Okay.

Mr. Johnson's at a critical stage.

-I'm just-- No, I'm just mixin' up the potatoes.

-[Larry] Oh.

-And you're supposed to have some milk in 'em and I forgot the milk... -[Larry laughs] -...so I used a little leftover beef stock and that'll goose it up flavor-wise.

-[Larry] Oh, me.

That's wild.

Let's-- I'll do the recipes for what we're doin'.

[Laban] All right.

[Larry] Mine is a Hamburger Potato Casserole sent in by Vera White of Lynchburg, Virginia.

Vera, Vera, Vera, Vera.

Four medium potatoes sliced thin.

Two large onions sliced thin.

A pound of ground beef.

And we assume that you are supposed to fry it first.

A green pepper sliced in thin strips.

A can of tomato soup diluted with a half can of water.

Salt and pepper to taste.

Teaspoon of Accent.

Your choice if you want to.

And your choice of cheese, whatever kind of cheese you like for on top of it.

She calls for sliced cheese, which probably could be about anythin' you'd want it to be anyway.

-[Laban] Mm-hmm.

-[Larry] Could be American.

Could be, oh, just a million and one thin's.

[Laban] All right.

Now-- you gonna bring Doris in?

Well, let me start doin' this.

I'm gonna put the potatoes on top of the meat mixture, so.

-[Larry] All right.

-Just bring her in.

[Larry] Doris, come on in here while he's playin' with the potatoes.

How you been?

-I'm doin' fine.

-Well, good.

-I'm doin' just fine.

-How's Harold?

-Harold, he's looked like he's doin' fine.

You're doin' fine, Harold?

-Surely does, yeah.

Harold says he's... -Come in and say... [laughs] Well, we've been takin'... -He's not gonna come in.

-No, I thought he would.

We're takin' advantage of the few nice days.

He wanted to know why I didn't want to come.

It's rainin' again.

It's just miserable here.

-Look at-- I would think that you would want to get out of the house on a rainy day like today.

-Never.

[laughs] But um-- I had to make broccoli soup.

And uh-- I made...

It's-- it's canned, but it tastes pretty good.

Uh-- You have to use... -Now, wait a minute.

If it's canned, how can you be makin' it?

[Doris] [laughs] It's not-- It's got some fresh stuff in it.

-[Larry] Oh, okay.

-[Laban] Oh.

[Larry] But is this one of those that starts with canned soup?

[Doris] I'm afraid so.

-I'm always suspicious of homemade soups that start with canned soup.

-[Doris] But you use an onion, you can, uh-- take a chopped-up onion and you sauté it.

And then you, uh-- in oil.

Then you add a can of potato soup, a can of celery soup, and two and a half cups of water.

And one cup of cooked chopped broccoli.

And uh-- four ounces of cheese.

And uh-- we tried it earlier.

And it-- it turned out to be a pretty-- pretty nice little soup.

And uh-- [Larry] Looks thick and delicious.

[Doris] Right.

And for somethin' real quick, uh-- somebody could turn this out real quick.

And uh-- I've discovered somethin' with my bread machine.

It's got a thing on it that you can, uh-- [Laban] If you tell me you made that soup in your bread machine, I'm leavin'.

-No, but I put...

I put, uh-- I found out it's got this little settin' on there that you can put regular stuff in it and just let it rise.

-[Laban] Oh.

-And then you take it out... -Like this?

-And then you can make your own biscuits in-- in the oven.

-[Laban] Ooh.

-So, this way, I made some rolls to have with the soup.

And I think that... -[Larry] Are these from scratch?

[Doris] Yeah.

And in-- in your bread machine is a little settin' that does all the kneadin' for you and the risin', and then you just take it out and roll 'em up.

-Form it.

-And form 'em.

-And put it in a regular oven.

But you have to put it in a regular oven.

-Mm-hmm.

-Okay.

-But they do the hard work for you.

-Well, isn't that amazing?

-And so-- and you can make a very nice little meal real quick.

-[Laban] Well, that's neat.

-[Doris] Okay?

-Well, I suppose so, if you say so.

-How much-- Well, Laban is still cuttin', so how much more time do you have to kill?

[laughs] -[crew laugh] -However much you want.

-How much was that?

-You got some more stuff that you want to-to say?

-Well, let's see.

No, not really.

-Good.

[Laban] All right.

Get out of town.

-But this is nice.

This is nice.

All right.

Uh-- I'll take the bread over to the table.

Back to Mr. Johnson.

-Oh, thank you.

Well, I've just diced up a little, uh-- margarine it is, actually, and put it on top of this.

And you're gonna bake it for 35 minutes at 375.

And uh-- when that's accomplished, you're all finished.

And it comes out lookin' like this.

-Have you given your recipe?

-Oh.

No, I haven't.

Let me do that right now.

This is the Irish Shepherd's Pie.

Two pounds of ground beef, tablespoon of oil, two onions finely chopped, two tomatoes chopped, one cup of beef stock or bouillon, one half teaspoon of sage, a quarter teaspoon of, I'm sorry, of thyme and a quarter teaspoon of sage, tablespoon of chopped parsley, salt and pepper, and mashed potatoes in the amount of about five potatoes.

And then a little margarine to put on top.

So, that's the Irish Shepherd's Pie, and it looks real pretty, and I guess we'll go find out-- ooh, look at that.

-[Larry] I-- I just got this out of the oven.

This is what it looks like when it bakes all up real nice.

It's still bubblin' around in there.

I used some nice cheddar cheese on top.

But isn't that pretty?

It's a real pretty dish.

It really is.

-[Laban] It's gorgeous.

[Larry] It's just lovely.

If I had a little more time, I'd take a picture of it personally.

But I'm gonna take it over here now so Mr. Johnson and I can have a bite to eat.

But first, you know, I have to do somethin' else that's just terribly, terribly important.

I have to put this one in the oven for the staff to eat.

For tomorrow.

That's one hour from night-- right now.

Miss Carol, please start your timer.

That's one hour from right now.

So anyway, now we can go over here.

Should I put yours in also?

-Yes.

That'd be all right.

-How long does it bake?

-[Laban] Thirty or 40 minutes.

-Thirty or 40 minutes for right now.

Miss Carol, you will get this out for tomorrow's staff lunch.

We've got the staff all set up now, don't we?

Lickin' their chops.

Well, isn't that beautiful?

Look at that.

Did you do this with instant potatoes also?

-[Laban] Uh-huh.

-Well, look at that.

It just set up real nice.

And let me get you a big old thang.

-[Laban] Yikes!

-[Larry] Oops.

You all right?

-Yeah.

Just burned my hand.

I'll be marked forever.

-Of this-- Well, you know, that has formed right nicely.

-[Laban] Yes.

[Larry] I must say, Vera, I'm impressed with your recipe.

I was a Doubtin' Larry there for a couple of minutes.

Yeah.

All right, so that goes over here.

-These are the sweet rolls.

-We just have sweet rolls?

-[Laban] Well, isn't that where she got 'em?

-You want some-- You want some butter?

[Laban] I know she got 'em in the frozen food section.

-[Doris] No way.

-[Larry] Uh-oh, no way.

She gets right huffy about it, I tell you.

Put a little butter on.

Well, I'm gonna try your sheepherder's pie.

[laughs] You know, I'm an old sheepherder from way back myself.

-[Laban] Uh-huh.

-You know, we used to raise sheep.

Did I ever tell you that?

-[Laban] Yes, you did.

You told me some things that we can't even relate on the air.

-[laughs] Well... Well, yeah, we had some problems.

They'd get sick and what have you.

Oh, that's good.

Mmm.

Oh, Mr. Johnson.

Mmm.

I really like that.

That is really terrific.

[Laban] Let me try.

Yours is good, too.

-Mm, mm, mmm.

Wow.

And?

-Oh.

I said yours is really good.

-Oh.

But I mean, what do you think of your own?

-I think it's real good.

-Try and follow along, Mr. Johnson.

-Mm-hmm.

It's so hard to do.

No, it tastes really good.

-Well, this... -Now, I got to try the soup.

-...potato thing is-- is right good, if I must say.

So, I think I'd like it a little snappier.

I believe I'd use either a real sharp cheddar on top of it.

I used cheddar, but not sharp.

Or I would throw a little more Accent in there.

[chuckles] -[Laban] Oh.

You know uh-- my recipe might be a little different if you did it the full, you know, if you did the full thing.

-Mm-hmm.

-But with two pounds of ground meat and all those mashed potatoes, that would serve easily eight people.

-Well, I think you're right.

-So, we don't have that many people in our family here, so I thought it was foolish to make it if we couldn't eat it.

-Well, you're right, although the staff probably could have used it.

Uh-- the soup, uh-- is real good.

Your bread is fabulous, if I must say so.

Mmm.

That's a pretty good soup.

[Laban] Well, these are awfully good recipes.

-Well, once again, another week has come and gone, and we've managed to pull together some pretty nice stuff.

I'm sort-- just sort of surprised that this has formed so well.

-[Laban] Mm-hmm.

-I mean, it's so easy to handle.

I thought it would just like, you know, completely all fall to pieces, but it really doesn't.

Although I do think that soup is still sittin' precariously on top there.

I believe it would do well to maybe mix that a little more and pour it in.

-[Laban] Maybe.

You know, both of these dishes would be perfect to take to a buffet, you know, or a covered dish dinner.

-Mm-hmm.

You're absolutely right about that.

And it's a good thing because I'm goin' to a covered dish dinner.

I really am, at 5:30.

-Today?

-Mm-hmm.

Today.

And I intend to take what remains of that.

[laughs] -[Laban] Well, that's wonderful.

-And I hope that nobody notices that several bites have been taken out of it.

-I'm goin' home to bed.

-Are you really?

-Mm-hmm.

I've had it.

I'm tired.

-Well, for heaven's sake, ladies and gentlemen, I just feel grateful that between Doris and Laban, that we were just able to stay awake for 27 and a half minutes.

[laughs] -You know, if we had an outside camera and could show how nasty it is.

-It's terrible.

-It's terrible.

-Y'all come back again.

-Real soon.

-Real soon, if not sooner, or perhaps even sooner than that, if you possibly can arrange it.

Bye.

[♪♪♪] [music fades out]