[♪♪♪] -Why are we calling this the Scout Show?

-Well, these were two recipes, if you remember when we looked at 'em two years ago, that we thought would be funny for scouts.

-Oh, okay.

-And then we'd gotten that letter, you know.

So, Witch, come here, honey.

-But we actually don't have any scouts here today appearing on the program?

-Lord, I hope not.

-[Larry laughs] -Girl or boy.

-Oh, the witch.

Yes, hi.

How are you?

-Well, here is the letter that actually made us wanna do it.

Maybe you can read that.

I don't have my glasses on.

-"Salute.

You guys have had a lot of fun "with the Girl Scouts and their cookies.

Why don't you do some recipes for Boy Scouts."

Didn't use a question mark here, did you notice that?

-Yeah.

Hm-mm.

-"My troop would appreciate it."

From Harvey Cold-Griddle, Harvey Cold-Griddle.

It's a hyphenated, one of those hyphenated words.

-Right.

-Obviously, he was previously married to a Cold.

-Yeah.

Yeah, right, before Mister Griddle.

[laughs] -[laughs] From Campfire, Pennsylvania.

Oh, okay-- -All right.

So that's why we're doing scout recipes today.

-Oh, now I understand it better.

-So, you're doing a Stout Boy Sh - Stew.

-Shtew.

-Easy for you to say.

[Laban chuckles] -Yeah.

-And I'm doing Castor Oil Cookies.

-And I will tell you - I beg your pardon?

-Castor Oil Cookies.

-And I will tell - what?

-This lady sent in this recipe and said that we were always talking about Girl Scout cookies, and this was one for Boy Scouts - Castor Oil Cookies.

And so, we'll be doing that.

And then, of course, you know, when you go on those camp-outs with the scouts, you know, you remember they would always take - sneak some beer into it?

-I never did that.

-Always.

-I never did that.

I never went on a camping trip in my life.

-You know what?

I didn't either.

-I have never been on - -I went to the Cub Scouts and decided, "This is not for me."

But my friends that were scouts were frequently naughty.

And even though it was sponsored by the church, they would sneak a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon or something like that.

One of those beers that was popular back in the '40s, uh-huh.

-It probably still is.

-It probably is.

Anyway, they would sneak it in and this, you know, so we found this recipe that came in and I said, "Doris, do it.

You're the baker of the bunch.

See if this is any good."

It sounded good, and it's real easy, and it's something that kids would do under the blanket after it got dark.

-Well, I've had sort of a - [laughs] I've had sort of a stomachache.

Will these cookies help my stomachache, these Castor Oil Cookies?

-I would imagine that they would set you free.

Matter of fact, the lady that sent 'em in said that two cookies was equal to a real good dose of castor oil.

[laughs] -Oh, boy.

I'm glad I'm going directly home after this show.

I guess we have the very lovely and semi-voluptuous is gonna fly in.

-Right.

-Although that's the witch that flies.

-No, no, no, that's the witch though.

You're talking about Doris.

-I'm talking about the other that flies, yeah.

-Our resident noodge.

Come on.

-Come on in here, Doris.

Doris is joining us early because she's so nervous.

-[Doris] Right.

I always am.

-[Larry] She's so nervous.

[Doris] But I wanted to get this in the oven because I thought if I made it at home, they'd really be bad.

And this is a rainy, rainy day here, and it'd be pretty soggy.

Well, we have to get two cups of buttermilk biscuit mix.

-Hmm.

-[Doris] And that - I think if you look in the little tiny boxes, you can find the buttermilk mix.

They don't put it out in big ones around here.

Then I have six chopped green onions, a half of cup of Monterey Jack cheese - -You need to talk in that camera over there.

[Doris] No, I don't.

I just look at my little paper here.

[laughs] -Look this way.

I'll hold her arm this way.

[Doris] A Monterey Jack cheese with jalapeno peppers.

And then, let me look, a half a cup of beer.

Now, I let it die because I didn't see how you're supposed to put that beer in there with all that - -It doesn't have a head on it anymore.

-[Laban] Hm.

[Doris] No, I opened it up this morning and let it sit.

-A true connoisseur of beer.

-The problem - [Laban] Now wait a minute, Doris.

The bubbly is what makes it rise.

-[Doris] Maybe but - -Maybe but - well, we'll see.

-[Doris] I don't know.

We'll see.

-[Laban] All right.

[Doris] And then you just dump it in there and stir it up.

[Larry] It smells like beer but it looks like oil.

[chuckles] -[Laban] Right.

-[Doris] Really.

And then you just mix this up and then I have to drop it onto a cookie sheet and bake it.

I'm gonna try that now.

-[Larry] Are those noodles?

[Doris] No, that's your Monterey Jack cheese.

-[Laban] That's the cheese.

-[Doris] Grated cheese in it.

So, we'll see what happens.

But I think - I don't know how you'd measure it with all that foam.

And then, you know me, I had to throw it down the drain, so.

[laughs] -Oh.

♪ We'll have Foam, foam, foam ♪ ♪ 'Til her daddy Takes her T-bird away ♪ I got a - I'm just gonna do one quick thing and then it's up to you.

-[Laban] Okay.

-The most horrendous thing I have to do with this recipe today, and I got to do it right now, is to grind a pound of ground beef.

And for right now, that's about all I'm gonna do.

-[Laban] All right.

-[Doris] [sneezes] -[Laban] Holy cow.

Well.

-It was the beer that did it.

-.with me, Doris has brought in her half-priced mixer so that we can do this recipe right.

But you cannot allegedly do this on your own.

Let me get my glasses out of my pocket so I can see what I'm doing.

All right, one cup - this is for the Castor Oil Cookies.

One cup of sugar, here it is, and we're gonna throw it right in.

And then, after that, we're gonna put in one cup of molasses.

And this is, all right, this is 12 ounces, there are eight ounces in a cup, so we're gonna pour two-thirds of this down in here.

You got - you know, if you can pour it directly out of the bottle by estimation, you're in a lot better - -You know what that reminds me of when I smell it?

Molasses?

-[Laban] Christmas.

-Cows.

-[Laban] Cows?

-Cows.

-[Laban] How's cows?

-Because in the wintertime, when you ran out of hay and you had to start feeding your beef cattle straw, in order to get 'em to eat the straw, you often got big - great big cans, so this great, big gallon, I don't know how many gallons of molasses.

And you would put molasses on the straw and the cattle would eat the straw.

[Laban] Oh, I see.

Mm-hm.

-You learn something every day with me, Johnson.

[Laban] I know.

Well, you know, you grew up on that farm and everything.

You all didn't make your own molasses, though, I guess.

-Oh, goodness, no.

Much too much trouble.

-You know, everybody in your area of the state made sorghum; grew it.

-[Larry] Yeah.

-Pressed it.

-And we made our own apple butter.

But we didn't make our own molasses.

It just wasn't a real big thing where I grew up.

-[Laban] Okay.

-We bought it.

-[Laban] We loved it.

-Store-bought.

-All right, one cup of milk.

There that is.

And one half cup of castor oil.

-[Larry laughs] -Now, I'll tell you a story about this.

Doris went to the drugstore to get the castor oil and they had some.

-[Larry] I wanna smell it.

I wanna smell it.

-But she said it was all they had.

And so - -It's been sealed for your protection.

-I got on the interstate or - I'm sorry, the World Wide Web, same thing.

Doesn't have a smell that I can tell.

And found out that there are whole factories that make castor oil.

So, if you need it, ask somebody on the web and it's plenty of 'em.

-Did you ever take this stuff when you were a kid?

-[Laban] No.

-[Larry] Oh, I did.

Tootsie used to get that spoon and chase me around the kitchen.

Ugh, ooh, I hated it.

But I can't remember what I took it for.

But it's best we don't - it's best we don't talk about it.

I'm sure it was some malady or another, some reason why I had to take castor oil.

I think it was mostly 'cause she wanted to be mean to me.

I think that was really the only reason that she gave me castor oil.

-Now, let's see.

This is a teaspoon of soda.

Everything Doris got is in these little things that are real hard to open.

-Doris is in an ecstatic mood.

She's sneezing and laughing a lot today.

-Okay.

-If she was also dopey and - -Hey, Bly, do you have the salt over there?

-No, I don't, but I'll find it for you.

[Doris] Your salt is in the thing.

-My salt is in the what?

[Doris] The salt and the baking soda are mixed together.

-Oh, the salt and the baking soda were together.

Thank you so much, Doris.

-Oh, one of these pre-mixed shows, ladies and gentlemen.

-All right.

And I gotta have ginger.

You remember Ginger, don't you?

-She was walking down the street a few minutes ago.

-Two teaspoons of ginger, and I don't see that.

Do we have that over here, Doris?

[Doris] It's right in front of you.

-The ginger?

-Ladies and gentlemen, while he's trying to find his recipe stuff - -All right, go ahead.

-I am frying up this hamburger.

-Oh, there it is.

It's right here in front of me, literally.

-And now back to Laban, who has just found it right in front of him.

-One teaspoon and two teaspoons.

-This hamburger don't smell no better than last week's did.

-Oh, they'll love that at lunch time.

-Uh-huh.

They can only hope.

-[laughs] All right, now, there you go.

All right, now.

This is the thing about this show, everybody, that you gotta - or this recipe.

This is another one of those where there's no measurement.

You just have to sense that you're in the right place.

So let me - I'm gonna mix these ingredients up.

And then you have to add enough flour.

to make it stiff enough to roll.

[Larry] Well, maybe if we don't like these cookies, we can feed 'em to the cows.

-[Laban] Uh-huh.

[Larry] They keep an entire herd here at the station.

-[Laban] Out back, actually - -[Larry laughs] Don't go there.

Don't go there.

Okay, I'm just frying the hamburger and trying to stay out of trouble.

-[Laban laughs] I thought it was another way they could make money around here.

-[laughs] -Can't you see some of our friends here on the staff out there milking those babies and - -Oh, we forgot to tell everybody that you and I are now the catheter twins.

-Oh, that's right.

The cardiac twins.

-The cardiac twins, ladies and gentlemen.

It finally happened to me.

I've hung out with Johnson long enough that I had to have my own heart catheterized last week and I'm just barely standing today.

-And what's funny, there's nothing wrong with him.

[laughs] -And there's nothing wrong with me, I'm happy to say.

-It was a figment of his imagination.

-They saw something on radar.

I don't know what it was, but it scared 'em.

-Well, I think, you know, they were so sure you didn't have a heart that when they saw it, they were amazed.

[chuckles] -[laughs] It is the second time someone has said that.

Bea at the Waffle House says, "Well, you got to have a heart to have that operation."

Well, you know what people really think of you when the chips are down.

-Hm-mm.

And your chips were down, yes, for just a moment, and then you lost the bet.

All right, now, I put about three cups total in there.

[Doris] [indistinct].

-What is Doris over there saying?

-She was just yapping.

-[Laban] I swear.

-She thinks this is a talk show of some kind.

How much do you have to add, Johnson?

-Well, I'm trying to figure it out as I go.

-[Larry laughs] -And you know, flour changes according to the humidity and as Doris said, we're in the middle of a terrible storm.

-It's terrible today.

It is terrible.

[Laban] Just awful.

-Did you bring enough gum for us all, Jim?

Huh?

Let me have one.

I feel my breath needs freshening but then, you know, I always like to tell Johnson halitosis is better than no breath at all.

-[Laban chuckles] -Hmm, that's pretty good stuff.

-Well, having been there, I can tell you, no breath at all isn't much fun.

[both Larry and Laban laugh] -I sure am glad this isn't my house.

The way this - -[Larry] Why?

-It's messy.

[Larry] Am I supposed to brown this stuff?

It says, "Fry the ground beef in an arn" - A-R-N, he's joking - "frying pan."

This was sent in, by the way, by Sidney White of Radford, Virginia.

Thank you, Sidney.

-And let me see who sent in these Castor Oil Cookies while I think about it.

Margery Ketcham of Burlingame, California sent this.

-Good heavens, all the way out in Californ-i-a.

-Well, you know, they love us out there.

-They love us in California, we don't know why.

-All right, uh.

you know what, why don't we give our recipes right now, Larry, while we're just twiddling around with this stuff.

[Larry] Mine, which is the Stout Boy Stew, calls for a pound of ground beef, one 16-ounce can of pork and - and while you fry that up and then you'll add everything all at one time - one 16-ounce can of pork and beans, a package of onion soup mix, quarter of a cup of ketchup, two tablespoons - no, teaspoons, I'm sorry, of chili powder or to taste, and a teaspoon of prepared mustard.

That's all there is to it.

[Laban] Well, the Castor Oil Cookies have a cup of sugar, a cup of molasses and a cup of milk, a half a cup of castor oil, a half a teaspoon of salt, a teaspoon of soda, two teaspoons of ginger, and plenty of all-purpose flour.

I'd say at least six cups.

-I'm gonna go ahead and finish this recipe because this now has to cook with all the rest of the stuff in it for ten minutes, and I wanna make sure it gets cooked.

So, I'm gonna go ahead and finish the whole thing.

-I'm coughing 'cause I got flour in my throat.

-Calls for a half - a quarter of a cup of ketchup.

Boom.

This won't take but a second, folks.

Maybe it will take more than a couple of seconds.

A package of onion soup mix goes in there.

Was I supposed to pre-mix this in this bowl?

Is that why this bowl's over here, Doris?

-[Laban] Whatever you want.

-[Larry] She's confused me.

Put that in there.

A can of pork and beans.

This doesn't take a real - a lot of work.

And then we have to add a couple more quick things here.

We have to add a teaspoon of prepared mustard.

And make sure you get the mustard that comes in these swell little cups.

-[Laban laughs] -Doris has set me up with some prepared mustard in a swell little cup.

-[Laban] That's Dixie mustard.

-[Larry] Dixie mustard.

And two teaspoons of chili powder.

One, two.

And that's it.

And then what you do is you cook this - I got to turn this down.

And you then cook it for ten to 15 minutes, and that's it.

That's the whole recipe.

-Well now, I've got a wad of - this is by no means all of the dough but it's enough to work with.

And I patted it out here on my board, and you roll it out as you would want it, of course.

-[Larry] Hm, boy, this looks good.

-[Laban] We'll see.

-[Larry] Anyway.

-And you roll it out until it's about a quarter of an inch thick.

Let me see.

Yeah, that'll do.

And then you're gonna cut it.

And Doris brought in her cutter she uses for the dog biscuits.

And these probably could pass for dog biscuits.

-They really do look like dog biscuits.

-Look at that.

There they are.

-[Larry] Oh, you're right.

Where's old Bowser when you need him?

-Of course, I wouldn't wanna be around old Bowser - -[Larry laughs] -after he had a heaping teaspoon or so of this.

Heaping whatever.

Now, let's see, what other things - is this a squirrel?

What is this, Doris?

Oh, it's a dog to go with the dog biscuit.

-Looks like some kind of an animal.

-There it is, a dog.

-It's a duck.

No, it's a dog.

-It's a dog.

[Larry] I guess it's a dog.

Looked like - a little like a duck to me 'cause that looked like a bill.

-This one looks like Frosty the Snowman.

-[Larry] Oh, for heaven's sake.

-[Laban] It is Frosty.

I'd know him anywhere.

With his shiny hat and his corncob pipe.

-♪ And a button nose and two eyes made out of some - coal ♪ ♪ Down through the village-- ♪ -[Laban] Anyway.

-[Larry] Anyway.

-This cookie, I can't believe it.

You know, I'm not too good at this, I have to admit.

And this is - -Well, but they're beautiful.

-I know.

They've come out just perfect.

-Do we have a camera so we can take a picture of this?

This is so lovely.

[Laban] We need to have many pictures of this.

Anyway, you're gonna cook 'em at 450 degrees for five to seven minutes.

[coughs] Doris, I think I need a cup of water.

-Boy, between Doris sneezing and your coughing, it's like a ward down here today, I'm telling you.

-It's sort of the good weather version.

-If we had Dopey and Itchy, we'd have the Seven Dwarfs working on the show.

-If we had the good weather kind of stuff, we have - -There was no Itchy, though, was there?

I think I just made that up.

-No, Itchy is not one of the regulars.

-Itchy was not one of the regular ones.

-All right, anyway, this will make a pile of cookies, this recipe.

-Oh, that's good.

-A pile of cookies.

-This is gonna be a big hit down the hall tomorrow or whenever.

Oh, I wish I was here along about three o'clock tomorrow afternoon.

Huh?

Oh.

Your water, sir.

[Laban] Thank you, and what a lovely cup.

-And in a very fine swell Blue Ridge Public Television cup.

-Ah, that's good water.

Tastes like it's been in the hose for two years.

-[Larry laughs] -Anyway, there they are.

And that is the recipe for the Castor Oil Cookies.

How's yours coming?

-Well, it just has to simmer for a little bit.

Doesn't it just look and smell delightful?

-I'll tell you, between that stew, the bread and these cookies, don't go on a camp scout, uh, outing anytime soon.

-Now, how long do you have to bake these?

-Five to seven minutes at 400 degrees.

-Four hundred degrees.

-And they just puff right up.

I'm not gonna put 'em in 'cause we've already got a batch done.

-Oh, no, please.

- 'Cause I got too carried away.

-I don't wanna overdo it.

-But this will make a world of cookies, four or five dozen.

-Yeah.

Well, how's that recipe you were doing?

Have you done it yet?

Is it in the oven yet?

[Doris] It's in the oven, I don't know.

[Laban] Oh, they're browning.

I can see it from here.

-How long they supposed to be in there?

-Oh, you let all the heat out.

You know, this is not a good - -Well, it looks right nice to me.

Let's turn on the light and see how pretty they are.

-They're gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.

-Maybe they wanna get a close-up shot of those for a while.

[laughs] -I wonder if you could roll these up into just one piece again and roll out a flat thing and put something good in it, like jelly.

You probably could.

Just roll it out into another - let me put it up here, cookie dough.

You can't mess around too bad with.

You know, it doesn't smell bad.

It smells pretty good.

-Well, I don't know.

-And they're easy to roll.

-Mm.

Well, this bean stuff is coming along.

The reason that you have to let it go for about ten minutes or so is because - actually, I think it could use just a little more schnappy peppy.

I'm gonna put just a little bit more chili powder in there.

I don't think I put quite enough.

'Cause I like mine just a little more snappy than that.

So, I'm gonna put just a little, it says to taste.

And some people, as you know, like their beans real zippy.

And I'm one of those that does.

But the reason that you have to let it go is because you put all that soup mix in there.

Now, what do you got?

-This is one that Doris previously baked with a press.

-Oh, isn't that pretty.

-And they did beautiful in cookie presses.

You roll it in a ball and then press it in the cookie press.

-Well, I'm impressed.

-Oh.

And I think if you roll this out thin enough, you could put a dab and cut it - let me cut it.

-Oh, dear.

-Like this, into a little triangle that you could put a little teaspoon of some kind of jelly right here.

[Larry] Did you give your stuff that went in that?

[Laban] And fold it over like this, and bake it into a little cookie like that with jelly inside of it, and it would be real good.

-Uh-huh.

You think so, huh?

-[Laban] I believe - I would recommend that to you.

-And now, ladies and gentlemen, Doris back again for a second great performance on Cookin' Cheap .

Go over your recipe because I thought the first time you did it that you were right squirrely about it.

[Doris] Okay, two cups buttermilk biscuit mix, six chopped green onions.

-That says choped green onions.

See, chopped has two P's.

-[Doris] Oh, it's supposed to have another P. I know, but Laban was reading this over the phone, telling me over the phone, and I had to write real fast.

A half a cup of Monterey Jack cheese with peppers, the hot jalapeno peppers in it, a half a cup of beer, you mix it all together and drop it on a cookie sheet and cook it for ten to 12 minutes in a 450 oven.

-And we really do recommend that you do it while you still have fresh beer that has a head on it, because really and truly, that supposedly is what causes it to rise.

-[Laban] Well - -Although it looks like Doris does know what she's doing, because look at these.

Come over here with these.

Oh, they're beautiful.

-They look wonderful.

-They really do.

Just show 'em over there.

Here goes some more Tupperware.

Look at that.

Are they soft?

[Doris] I don't know.

I guess you'll find out when you bite in.

-[Laban] Yeah.

-Well, we need a little - -We've gotten butter over here on the [indistinct].

-Hold on, we need to do this.

[Doris] Because the tray I brought didn't fit in the oven, so I had to grab this.

-I think that they need to be loosened a little bit.

[Doris] And I didn't grease it because of the - I didn't know I was gonna have to use it.

-And what are these things, scones?

-No.

They're - -[Doris] They're beer muffins.

-Beer muffins.

-Beer muffins.

-Boy, they look beautiful.

-[Laban] They do, and I hope they taste good.

-But they are sticking real badly.

I wonder how - -But somehow, I think - [Doris] I should have greased it, but I didn't.

-No, that's alright.

-[Doris] I had a different pan.

-No, it's not alright.

I'm offended that you didn't - no, I'm just joking.

We'll put that in there.

-I'll take 'em over to the table.

-Oh, wait a minute.

I still have five more to put on.

[chuckles] [Laban] Get out of town.

-No, get out of studio in six minutes.

-[Laban] Oh, alright.

-Anyway.

Here, let me put this one on there while I'm at it.

Hm, boy.

-[Laban] Thank you.

Oh, I'm on time today.

-I'm gonna take - I know.

It takes him ten minutes to get over to the table.

And of course I'm walking around with a slight limp.

-Oh.

Oh, no.

-His second week in a row, ladies and gentlemen.

-I'm trapped.

I'm hung up on the pig.

It's terrible.

-We gotta do something about that print.

But anyway - -Well, I've got on my piggy apron that Miss Carol made for me.

-The lovely Miss Carol.

That's right, she did that.

Oh, wonderful.

I'm sitting a little lightly today.

-[laughs] -[laughs] Oh, here, let me give you some of these wonderful, wonderful beans.

-[laughs] Yeah, we'll just call him Chief Mohawk.

[laughs] -[laughs] Leave me alone, Johnson.

Oh, look at this.

Now, Doris is always messing around.

Look, she has put two dog bones with our names.

[laughs] Isn't that wonderful?

That's mine.

-And she had to fight the dogs to get 'em out to give 'em to us.

-Uh-huh, yeah, well.

And there's yours, Laby.

It says so right there.

-Thank you.

-And oh, yes, now that I have found out that I have a clean bill of health, let me get a big wad of butter on this.

[laughter] -The doctor told him his arteries were completely open, and ever since, he's gone nuts.

-Eating everything in sight.

[Laban] Mm-hm, had lard yesterday for lunch.

-Mm-hm, I did, by handfuls.

-Big slab of lard.

Oh, it was terrible.

How's this biscuit?

-I like those biscuits.

Doris, those are good.

Mm-mm-mm.

Try the beany weenies and tell me what you think there, Johnson.

[chuckles] Johnson's never been very big on the legumes, you know.

-No.

-This is not one of his favorite things, the legumes.

-Not bad.

-It really isn't.

It's so simple to do that it's almost just uncanny.

But you know, it is real snappy, and I like it an awful lot.

-[Laban] Well - -Well, now comes the true test, ladies and gentlemen.

-Wait a minute, Doris, get me some more water so I can - -Yeah, we don't want you to choke.

-No, and I don't want you to miss the - -We don't want you to choke.

This one's got Larry written all over it.

You ready?

-[Laban] Woo!

[crew laugh] -[Laban] I hope all - -Dog biscuits.

-[Laban] Yes.

-What do you think?

-They're not too bad.

-They're not bad.

-Actually, the Castor Oil Cookies are okay.

-Doris said they were terrible.

I don't think they're bad at all.

-No, they're okay.

They got a nice molasses taste to 'em.

-And my stomach feels better already.

-They're not overtly sweet.

You probably could make 'em with that fake sugar now, you know, the kind that diabetics can have.

And of course, you can't change the molasses but you could cut down a lot on the sugar by just using artificial sweetening.

-Well, this has been a complete surprise all the way around, and a nice one at that.

You all come back now when you have some time to eat these cookies.

[♪♪♪]