[♪♪♪] - Hi, boys and girls.

How you doing?

I'm fine.

- Are ya?

[laughs] You couldn't prove it by us.

[chuckles] How-how are ya?

- Welcome to Cookin' Cheap.

I'm-I'm real good.

- Good.

- I'm real good.

- I'm Laban, he's Larry.

- I got lots of letters to read.

Real concerned about them.

- Hmm-mm.

Don't you want to ask me anything, Bly?

- No.

Not really, why?

- Are you sure?

- Am I supposed to ask you somethin'?

[Laban laughs] - [chuckles] What are you-- what are you?

- You don't wanna ask me why I have a black eye?

- Oh.

I-I didn't even notice you had a black eye.

Why do you have a black eye?

- I wo-- I wouldn't tell everybody this.

Only, [chuckles], only my best friend in the whole world will I-- will I tell.

- Would I-- [indistinct].

[Laban laughs] - W-what?

W-what?

- Well, yesterday morning-- this-- this-- this-- [laughs] - I didn't even notice that you had a black eye.

See, he does have a black eye.

I can't get over this.

- This is the category of truth is stranger than fiction.

[laughs] Yesterday morning, I got up, this is my one to do on the Sabbath.

And read the paper.

- [chuckles] - Had a nice breakfast.

Being rendered a little bit sleepy-- - Hmm.

- Especially after watching one of the religious shows on TV, [both chuckle] - I took a little nap.

Then I remembered that I had to go to a meeting, but I couldn't remember what time it started.

Whether it was at one or two.

So, while I was comfortably ensconced in my bed, I'm-- - You got mad at yourself and-- and you got mad at yourself and punched yourself out?

- No, no, it's better than that.

- Oh, oh, okay.

- So I'm-I'm in the bed.

And I reach over, you know in my bedroom there's-- I have the table, the TV and the phone, little Princess phone right there.

So, I reach over and get it out, and I call my friend Doug Paterson, you know Doug?

- Hmm-mm.

Yeah.

- Right?

So-- because he had to go to the meeting, and he knew what time it was.

So I called him up and I-- you know with the little Princess phone, you know, the black one?

- Hmm.

- I go ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

And I go, phat!

[both laugh] - And hit myself in the eye with my Princess phone.

- There you have it, ladies and gentlemen.

From the dumber than fiction department.

- So when-- - I've heard some pretty silly stories in my time, but that-- - So, when I-- [laughs], Doug answered the phone, I was laughing and crying at the same time.

And he said, "What's wrong?"

- You-you really did it real well.

- Then I said, "You would not believe what I have just done."

- Can-can you get a tight shot of his shiner?

I mean, that really is a-- now, you gotta shut it to see it real well.

It-it really is pretty incred-- [laughs] - See when I go like that, you can't-- [both laugh] But you know, I have hurt myself any number of ways, as we all know.

You've all-- you've have lived through bypass surgery.

[laughs] - [chuckles] Well, here.

You put this over it.

It'll be alright.

- [laughs] And, you know, a broken wrist and all sorts of other injuries.

- Did you put anything like a steak on it?

Or-- he's too cheap to put a steak on it.

- I didn't have a steak.

All I had wa-- all I had was some of this chopped lamb that I've got to work with today.

And somehow, I didn't want to put it on my eye.

[chuckles] - Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, we got a letter here.

[Laban laughs] - [chuckles] "Sir, please send me your recipe.

"They look very good.

"Are you all still sending out the other recipe you all had before you started this program?"

Uh, I think so.

[Laban laughs] - But I'm not sure.

[Laban laughs] - Well, this one is from Mary Pallen in Chatham, Virginia.

"I tried the beef cooked in the beer recipe "from one of the above shows, "but I substituted Venison for steak.

"It was great.

Somehow, I lost the recipe.

Too much of the liquid in the sauce perhaps?"

[laughs] [Larry chuckles] - [booing] [laughs] - But they're signifying to us that they want to show the lovely sentray piece on our table.

- Oh.

Oh, yeah.

[chuckles] - Did Doris work this out?

- Ah-huh.

- Did the lovely Doris work that out?

- Yes, just because we're trying to do lamb recipes today.

LARRY: This is the actual Mary who had a little lamb, in case you've always wanted to know.

- And that-that is a ceramic replica of the lamb that we are indeed frying up on the show today.

[laughs] - And as you-- as you can see, her fleas are white as snow.

[Laban laughs] - And everywhere that Mary-- okay.

"Dear Do--" Doris?

Wait a minute.

Woah, wait-- this is-- Doris is getting fan mail down here.

[Laban laughs] - Now we're having to read Doris letters.

"Dear Doris, would you please send me recipes-- so and so and so and so."

It says, "You seem to be looking after the boys, "please just one thing before they start cooking.

Put a damp hand towel on the counter for them to use."

Thought I said somethin' else, didn't you?

[Laban laughs] - "This would help them so much."

LABAN: A damp.

A damp.

- "And somethin' to wipe their hands on when they need it.

Sincerely, Cathleen Wright of Roanoke, Virginia."

Thank you very much.

[Laban laughs] - Damp towel.

[Laban laughs] - Gonna have one of those.

- And this is from-- [mumbles] - That's easy for you to say.

- Well, I know.

And it's literally impossible to read the signature on here.

- Any of it.

- But she says, "I'm glad that you all are receiving more cooking utensils.

"You all are such characters.

"I can't wait every weekend and during the week "to catch your show.

Well, bye for now, and continued success."

Was real sweet, whomever you are.

Larry, I think we better go cook because these are-- these recipes are-- - Take a long time.

- Ah-huh.

- Some-sometimes.

- And we-- you remember last week we had so much fun getting through that... [chuckles], show that we did.

- Somethin''s boiling along here, right friskly on top of this stove.

I hope it's supposed to be.

- Oh, that's-- oh that, we can turn it off.

- Okay, turn it off.

Turn it off.

- Alright.

- I'm going-- I have a long story to tell.

It seems like this story-- [Laban laughs] - This show has already started out on a strange kind of circuitous route, as it were.

I'm doing baked lamb, Western style, using six lamb breast spare ribs that aren't lamb at all.

And actually, this is pork.

[Laban laughs] - This has nothing to do with the recipe whatsoever.

- You mean, you couldn't get any breasties off a lamb?

[laughs] - Let me tell you what happened.

There's a big breast shortage with the lamb population going on.

[Laban laughs] - No, I'm gonna tell you the whole story.

[chuckles] This show is already off to a bad start.

[Laban chuckles] - Every major super chain in town and a few individual-- - [chuckles] Ah.

- --butchers told me, nah, nah, nah, nah, you can't get those here.

Now, I'm talking about the-the breast or spare ribs.

- Right now, at this time of the year?

- Well, they're hard to get just about any time of the year.

And the reason for that is, they don't sell an all-- awful lot of them in this portion of the world where we do this show.

Now, they probably do somewhere else, so we don't get lamb people all upset.

- Yeah.

- And they go, lamb chops, chops, chops.

So anyway, but we can't get them here.

And the ones that do get them, take them and tear the meat out from between the ribs.

And grind them up into the-- well, you've always heard this term-- [Laban chuckles] - Lamb patties.

[Laban laughs] - Well, that's where lamb patties come from.

So, consequently, I could not get any.

So, what I've done is, I've substituted pork ribs and that's what I'm gonna be working with.

And what I'm gonna do is take this lovely, lovely pork rib and I'm gonna cut it several different places so we can get it into edible little blocks, you see?

And salt and pepper it in a-a nice little baking dish.

And then-- and then I'll tell you all about the rest of it in a couple minutes.

Laban's got a long recipe, and now to him.

- Well thank you so much.

I-I do have indeed a long recipe.

And for this, you need boneless lamb cut up in chunks.

About two pounds.

I would advise you to use the lamb shoulder, which is very inexpensive and not the leg, which is delicious but very expensive.

LARRY: Hmm.

- So-- now I have tried to go through this lamb that I have here and cut as much fat off of it as I could in the time allotted for me to do this.

If I had even more time, I'd cut even more of it off.

But this is defatted, and you want to put it down in a mixture of one tablespoon of margarine and one of olive oil in a big heavy pot.

And we're gonna let this lamb brown real good.

It's gonna get real brown and believe me, it's gonna take ten or fifteen minutes to get to the stage we want it on fairly high heat.

You could do it slower with medium heat, but we're gonna be right here watching it.

But it's got to be really brown.

You can't shortcut this.

So, we will just put it in this big iron pot, and let it start to brown.

And if you do that, you will see that an awful lot of juice will come out of it and that needs to cook away too.

- With a Princess phone.

[Larry chortles] I'm sorry.

I don't think I'm gonna get over it.

[Larry chortles] With a Princess phone.

- No, you know it is funny.

- Phaw!

Ah, hello?

[Laban laughs] - I'm gonna take these ribs right now.

And I'm just gonna cut in between the bones.

And cut them into little hunks, which would be much more delicate to get hold of, to rip apart and eat in a couple of minutes.

- Hmm-mm.

- I'm just gonna do that a couple of times.

- Well, good.

Alright.

[Larry laughs] - Now-- - And that-- and that's all.

- Now, I've got some cloves of garlic here.

I've got-- you need two or three, and these are small, so I'm gonna use three.

And I have peeled them back, giving them the old bouncing knife trick.

And it makes it easier to get the skins off of 'em.

And this needs to be minced, so we got to pull these off.

So, you're gonna need a couple of some garlic.

And I love garlic.

So, I'm gonna use like I say, a little bit more than we would normally call for in this recipe.

Just because we love it.

- They have installed a new-- a hand towel thing down here.

- Haroll did that.

Can you believe it?

- Did you do that, Haroll?

That's wonderful.

We have such a great crew around here.

We really do.

Now the only thing I'm gonna do right now is salt and pepper these.

And at home, I used cracked pepper, freshly ground, but here I don't have it.

Today, I'm just gonna take this in here.

And we're gonna salt and pepper it just a little bit and then we're gonna put it in the oven and we're gonna bake it for an hour at 325 degrees.

- Whoo!

- And then we're gonna drain it off, and then I'll show you in a little bit what else we're gonna do with a little bit of salt and some pepper to your liking on top of it.

Like so.

I love pepper, don't think you can get too much of it.

Put it in the oven and just bake it wide out in the open.

Just like that for an hour, 325 degrees.

And then we'll have chapter two momentarily.

- Well, now, I've got my garlic minced, and I've got it in this little plastic bowl.

Now I gotta have a tablespoon of chopped onion.

And a-- a tablespoon.

I got to have a cup of chopped onion.

So, you start out with one medium to large onion.

MALE: [indistinct].

- And we're gonna chop it up.

Now while you're doing all of this, you need-- if you've got help in your kitchen, you also wanna do some rice.

And you want to have oh, four or five servings of rice done up.

And our good and trusty friend, Doris has started the rice for it.

We're so proud of her handling a difficult assignment like rice.

- Lice?

Did you say she has lice?

- No.

- Oh, rice.

Oh, oh, okay.

- Rice.

And these onions don't have to be minced or anything.

They can be in fairly large pieces.

And we want to have 'em in a bowl.

We don't wanna add 'em to our meat yet.

Let's see how that's doing.

Oh, good.

Boy-- I mean, this stuff is really... And you don't want it to be white.

I mean, we got to get the pink out of it but you want it actually to be brown.

- It smells wonderful.

- Oh, come on.

Why don't-- why don't you tell 'em about the time you were a little boy, Larry?

And how much you enjoyed working with the sheep on the farm?

- I-I think that maybe that story [chuckles]-- saved for another time.

I was just talking about the fact that I think that sheep are relatively dirty animals, kept alive, and open in the fields on the farm.

No offense, anybody.

So... - Well, you know, we have a personal friend that is a sheep.

Ms. Elizabeth, and I think we ought to show everybody just-- - This is the only good sheep I've ever known.

- Right.

[chuckles] - And we're gonna show you this sheep here in just a sec.

- No, she's a real good-good person.

- One of our famous adventures out into the field.

Now, and-- - There we are.

- There we are.

We look just real innocent.

Oh, look, and there's the very lovely-- what's her name?

LABAN: Elizabeth.

- Ah-oh, poor Elizabeth, I believe that we have some-some plans.

[laughs] - Oh.

Brutus, the barber here-- - What do you suppose is going on?

Well, she-she doesn't-- she seems oblivious.

She doesn't really seem to like look like she knows what's going on.

But then neither does Laban.

Now here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Now there's just no telling what's going on behind that shed down there with poor Eliz-- Oh!

Hey!

LABAN: Oh no!

Oh!

- Oh!

It's terrible.

There's the jiggling of the picture.

- Oh!

I know somethin' terrible is going on.

You've done it again, Bly.

Oh-- And been caught.

- [laughs] Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, that's where they come from.

[Laban laughs] - If you've always wanted to know.

[laughs] You saw it here.

[sheep bleats] - Now-- and we do want everybody to know that that was only the-the fur of Elizabeth.

It was not-- - Elizabeth herself.

- Herself.

- That's right.

- Elizabeth is still very happy on the farm.

- A little chilly perhaps.

[Laban laughs] - But she's-- - Eating her way to glory.

[both chuckle] - Elizabeth is not included in anything here today.

- Ah.

- I'm happy to say.

[chuckles] - Well now, Bly, while we're at it, let me keep going over here.

This is the longest recipe in the history of the world.

It's just got so much in it.

You have to have two good ripe tomatoes.

And they're gonna have to be chopped and seeded.

And I'm taking the nasty parts out of this.

These are Mexican tomatoes.

We didn't have any locally produced ones at this time of the year when this is being done.

And I'm just gonna chop these babies right up here on our counter.

And incidentally, you will notice that if you've got a real good sharp knife, you can cut the tomato without any big hoo-ha, without any big problems.

- But if you don't have a sharp knife, a hoo-ha is probably-- well, it's going to be what you'll have.

- Right.

Now, it would be real nice-- yes, it would, boys and girls, if-- where you were, you had enough time to seal-- To seal?

[Larry chuckles] - And peel and seed the tomatoes.

LARRY: Peel and seal.

- But it's not absolutely necessary.

You will not die from e-eating tomato skins.

- Hmm-mm.

I know it's no skin off my tomato.

Oh.

- Hmm.

- Boy, time is just going along, just friskly today, I'm telling you.

LABAN: Oh, I know.

LARRY: --Johnson, I know.

- I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying.

LARRY: I don't want to bother you.

- Well, how are you doing over there with your-- oh, alright, you also got to toast some almonds.

- [Larry yawns] - And I've got the almonds to-- [singing] almonds toasting.

Now see, there's a lot of broth down here, if you can see down here in this pan.

LARRY: A lot of broth.

- A lot of broth, and we want to get rid of it.

We wanna get "shed" of it, as Larry [chuckles] is so famous for saying.

So we've got that just going, fiery hot.

And we're gonna have a lot of spices that are going in this.

Let me show you what.

Hot sauce Tabasco.

We got parsley, and I'm using dried flakes.

We got cinnamon.

We've got ginger.

We've got cumin, and-and weren't you the one who said you couldn't find cumin?

- And you know, I had a whole jar of it in my cupboard, as it turns out.

- Well, I've seen that spice cupboard of yours.

You've got stuff in there that-- LARRY: There's stuff in there.

- And whole cloves and turmeric.

All of that is gonna go in here.

So this is a real spicy dish.

And the meat is going to-- and it's beginning to brown, as you can see.

And the faster this-- the water cooks out of that meat, the better it will be.

And I will continue to chop up my fresh tomatoes over here.

I will say that after you've got all of these ingredients in your pan, you just let it cook for about an hour and a half.

And the lamb gets fork tender.

And it will thicken up a great deal.

And I-- you'll see, I've of course got some that I cooked yesterday.

LARRY: While you're chopping that, can I just do one more thing here?

- Sure, go ahead.

- Okay, what we're gonna do in anticipation of our ribs coming up in one hour, is we're gonna mix up a little somethin' to go on top of it.

And it's very, very nice.

Now what is calls for is a can of crushed pineapple, which that is there.

And into that, we're going to put a quarter of a cup of honey.

This is some of my good friend, Jim Wilkins' honey and you know, I've got to go back to him again and see if I can get some more.

LABAN: And get some more.

- I'm just about gone through it.

- Well, you know he's got it.

- Ah, also, we need a half a teaspoon of cinnamon-- boink.

And a quarter of a teaspoon of Allspice.

It looks almost like the half a teaspoon did, didn't it?

Well, use your imagination.

We need a teaspoon of salt goes into that.

This is an interesting mix.

LABAN: Hmm.

- And that's all.

That's all that goes in there.

And now, what you do is you mix that all up.

Like so.

And then, you get it all over you, like I just did.

Another completely clean shirt, this show costs me a fortune.

LABAN: [laughs] Oh no.

- And it's because I'm wearing the thing down here.

LABAN: Ah-huh.

- And I don't need it down-- I need it up here.

LABAN: That's why they put, you know, bibs on aprons.

- Yeah.

- So that you don't mess up your fine garments.

- Now, what you do, is you take it out.

After an hour, you take your ribs out and just pretend like these just came out and aren't all greasy, but they really are because they didn't just come out, but pretend like-- LABAN: Do any of 'em look like a woman?

LARRY: Just take-- - [Laban laughs] - And you put this on top of it.

And in a couple of minutes, I'm gonna do the final thing that goes on top of it.

This is a nice citrus base, citrus mix.

And this is a-- this makes enough of this, by the way, for a lot more than you see here, okay?

And I've got it in a-a shallow pan which we can drain quite easily.

Now, that's all I'm gonna use of that.

Next thing I'm gonna do, I have-- I want y'all to know this is what Florida oranges look like when they really come off the trees in Florida before those kissed people get a hold of them and kiss them all up with the good colors and everything.

They look a little gnarly, don't they?

And what I'm gonna do right now is, I-I got one of these fancy-smanshy-- Johnson's famous for these things.

Well, I-I got one free in crackerjacks or somethin'.

I don't know what it was.

So, anyway I am gonna peel this orange and just lift that peel right off there.

Be careful you don't separate it because we're gonna-- we're gonna do slices here in a minute.

And what we'll do is we'll slice that and put it on top of what you just saw there a minute ago.

And we'll put it back in the oven for another 45 minutes.

30 to 40 minutes actually, until the things are tender, and this has had a chance to bake.

So anyway, you can take that off, I was going real good, and I hit a gnarly place.

What in the world?

Well, the Lord-- there's a-- - Orange has got a tumor.

- It's got a bad tumor.

[Laban laughs] And just slice it this way, alright?

So you got nice little slices.

And what you'll do is you will place those on top.

A very lovely presentation.

Lovely.

And you may wanna throw a couple of seeds out, lest somebody gag on them and die.

But it don't matter to me.

One way or the other, I'm leaving 'em in.

And that's it.

Put it back in there and finish baking it.

And I'll show you what it looks like when it all comes out, back.

Mr. Johnson has a lot to do.

LABAN: Alright.

Thank you.

Alright, now the lamb is getting r-really nice and brown in here.

And I'm going to add my cup of onion, and my garlic that has been minced.

And this only needs to cook until the onion begins to look transparent.

So we'll get that in there.

And it just takes a minute or two for that onion to take up some of the flavor of the meat and look real good.

Ooh, this-this smells better and better.

Now, I'm gonna start to add other things.

The first thing will be the tomatoes.

And I'm gonna put those right on down in here now.

LARRY: Ooh.

Whoops!

- Whoops!

- There went another one.

- Hmm.

- Hmm, I just had a friend, Steve Calthorn just got back from Florida and brought me these.

Fresh right off the tree.

Thank you, Steve.

LABAN: Oh.

Oh, how nice.

Now, alright-- - A very good-- lovely friend of mine.

- Now here's 16 ounces of tomato sauce.

LARRY: Hmm.

- And that goes down in there and you wanna stir it all up.

And that's just bubblin' away.

And now we want a-- a-- alright, we'll go with the-- a couple of tablespoons of parsley flakes.

And of course, it would be better-- LARRY: Whoo-hoo-hoo.

LABAN: If we could-- LARRY: Spit at me.

LABAN: A-- [chuckles] - [Larry chuckles] LABAN: Have fresh-- it did, it spit at you.

- It did.

It went [indistinct].

- Alright, now cinnamon.

LARRY: Yeah, we're gonna show the recipes momentarily.

We-we give him a chance to get all the stuff in there.

- Yes.

Alright.

Alright.

Alright.

We got a half a teaspoon of cinnamon.

And this is really tasty when it goes in-- [Larry coughs] Alright.

LARRY: It is-- - Half a teaspoon of cinnamon.

LARRY: Real tasty.

LABAN: Alright.

Ginger.

You get a quarter of a teaspoon of ginger, there it is.

LARRY: She used to dance with [indistinct].

- A quarter teaspoon of cumin seed that have been ground up.

LARRY: I'm gonna take these out of the oven while you're doin' that.

LABAN: Whole cloves... a couple of those.

Three dashes of Tabasco.

Boing, boing, boing, boing.

Alright.

[chuckles] Some salt, which I'll put in in a minute because I don't have it here.

And the turmeric-- LARRY: There's your salt.

LABAN: Thank you.

And there you go with about a quarter teaspoon of turmeric, which will give it a golden cast.

And make it real tasty.

And all of that-- and we need a-about a teaspoon of salt.

Now there it is.

Now when it has cooked, you cover it up at this point and stir it up real good.

And cover it up.

And let it cook for an hour and a half.

Now, very quickly, here's the assembled dish.

The rice... goes-goes in-- oh.

[chuckles] Goes in the middle.

Oh!

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.

And let me have this, Bly.

Ah!

I just can't move-- that goes in the middle.

LARRY: [chuckles] Pow!

MAN: Yeah.

- Recipes, oh, they're comin' up.

Put 'em up there.

LARRY: There's the lamb stew.

LABAN: Alright.

Larry, would you read that for me?

- Yeah, two pounds of boneless lamb in one-inch cubes.

- [Laban laughs] - One tablespoon of olive oil.

A tablespoon of margarine, a cup of chopped onion.

Two cloves of garlic, minced.

Large tomatoes chopped.

16 ounce can of tomato sauce.

And two tablespoons of parsley.

A half teaspoon of cinnamon.

A quarter teaspoon of ginger.

A quarter teaspoon of cumin.

Two whole cloves.

Three dashes Tabasco.

A teaspoon of salt.

A dash turmeric.

16 ounce can of pearl onions drained.

[Laban laughs] - And four to six cups of cooked rice.

Put it on.

A third cup of toasted almonds put it on the top of that.

And a third cup of golden raisins.

Mine, you get six pounds of lamb breast of spare ribs of any kind.

Salt and pepper.

A can of crushed pineapple.

A quarter cup of honey.

A teaspoon of salt and one-half teaspoon of cinnamon.

And of course, you have the quarter teaspoon of Allspice.

Two medium oranges peeled and sliced.

And when you put it all together, you have this.

And it's all sitting down here real nice.

LABAN: Right.

LARRY: And here, have this, it's quite lovely.

- And Larry, thank you so much.

- Enjoy that.

It's so good.

I know it is.

I just know it's just wonderful.

- And oh, boy, this looks good.

[Laban screams] - And I'm gonna try it too.

[laughs] I'm gonna try this.

Oh me.

Hmm.

- I'll tell you, we need to have an hour long.

- This is a good lamb recipe.

[laughs] This is a good lamb recipe.

And I can't get a decent part to eat 'em.

LABAN: And the ribs-- - I think they're good.

- Hmm.

They're delicious.

- Oh, he just-- hmm, bye.

So long.

Hmm.

- Good.

See ya.

- Yeah.

Hmm.

[♪♪♪]