(upbeat music) - Hello and welcome to The Journal, I'm Steve Kendall.

cyberbullying has become more prevalent over the past several weeks.

Garnering a lot of attention in the wake of TikTok challenges with students throughout the nation.

Students being encouraged to harass teachers destroy property, perform harmful acts, being pressured to misbehave.

Our guest is Sherrika Myers founder of Every 1 Voice Matters.

It's a nonprofit organization that teaches kids about anti-bullying.

And we're gonna talk about cyberbullying today.

Sherrika, welcome to the show.

Thank you for taking the time to be with us here on Journal today.

- Thank you for having me on.

I excited to be here.

- Could you talk a little about your background because obviously cyberbullying, we're gonna cover a range of activities.

But talk a little about yourself and how you came to be involved in this and made this basically your mission.

- Sure, like you said, I am the founder of Every 1 Voice Matters, but I'm also a children's book author.

I'm also the creator of Lil Herbie to anti-bullying mascot.

And also the founder of Lil Herbie YouTube series.

And how I got here is kind of bizarre because all my life I never thought that I will be speaking in front of people.

I grew up with a speech impediment that's called stuttering.

And for those who do not know what stuttering is, is when you know what you wanna say, but just unable to say it.

And growing up like that, I myself had a lot of challenges as a kid.

I was laughed at.

I was picked on, I was ignored.

I even had it to where as though that I used to act like I couldn't hear just so I wouldn't have to respond to people.

Because the kids was, I was bullied.

I was.

And so some of those challenges stayed with me all through my adulthood.

So I know what kids go through.

I know what they go through on the outside and on the inside because I myself been through it as well.

- Now, before we get into details about things, has that gotten better for students who, or for kids who deal with this issue?

Who stuttered now?

Is it dealt with in a better way than it was say when you were growing up?

- Well, they have different programs.

Which they had programs back then as well.

But growing up in a single family household, I wasn't my, well, my mother was not able to afford some of the resources, but I wouldn't say better.

They have better resources, but it's just that the way kids are doing things now are different from when they did it back then.

Now cyberbullying.

When I grew up the internet wasn't a huge thing.

We didn't really have the internet.

But now kids are resulting to going to the internet and doing different things.

I would say it just changed, and it has gotten worse because now they have several different ways to bully kids.

- And I guess the other aspect of it is too, it's it seems very because of the, just the ability to say something to somebody or do something and not have to be face to face with them.

Apparently makes it easier to cyberbully or to bully in general now, because you're not confronting the person face to face.

It's like you can do it almost anonymously in a way.

And yet still the impact is tragic and terrible when it happens that way.

- Correct, as some kids think when they do cyberbullying that they can get caught.

Because they're not physically doing it.

They're not physically there.

Some kids are resolving to cyberbullying simply be because of that, because they don't wanna get caught.

So they saying that if we doing all the cyberbullying, we saying certain things, just doing certain things over the internet that is not bullying or they won't get caught.

So they just trying to do it a sneakier way.

- Now when you talk about, and I know you talked about stuttering, we talked about cyberbullying too.

What are some of the things when you go into classrooms, or into situations where you're talking about this.

What are the things you emphasize?

What are the things you try to teach students?

Parents of course need to be involved in this as well.

So talk a little about some of the things that you do when you address this issue in schools or in other gatherings.

- When I go into school some people don't realize that whatever the issue of a child may be having, maybe it would be stutter, or any other issue.

People think that when they fix the outside, that that child is healed.

But that's not true.

My program, I work from the inside out.

And actually works together.

So, so when I go in there, I talked to 'em about some self-confidence, self-esteem, good relationship building skills.

Knowing that they don't have to fit in.

Knowing that when they see themselves doing things just to be around other people, then those are the kids that they shouldn't be around.

So I teach them the inner side building, the inner self building.

And then when they get the outside building, it all works together.

So you can't teach a child, how to stand up for themselves.

Well, you can teach on the outside, but on the inside, when they not in front of you, then they'll do certain things, to get away with, or just certain things to make people think that it's not affecting them, but it does because it affected me.

- Now from an age group, are you talking students from elementary age through, what's the range of students that you typically work with on this?

- Well, I work with all kids because I'm also a certified life coach as well.

But I start at the elementary level because I'd said that the elementary level is when they are taught, you are training them, you are teaching them.

And then when they get to the middle school level, now they're learning, they're kind of getting it.

Now, when it gets to the high school now they are really applying it.

So I teach all levels.

It's just that on different levels.

I have to work with each school differently, each age level differently based on that.

So I teach all that, from elementary, all the way through high school.

I even sometimes coach adults, so yes.

- Now, and when you talk about educating and obviously, we talked about the students who are dealing with maybe, for whatever reason, for low self-esteem, whatever that situation is, that internal situation.

Does this also help educate people who are the people who are bullying, or may be bullying to understand maybe that what the things they're doing are inappropriate and how it affects other people.

Does that get through to some of the people that might not be the ones being bullied, but are the people causing the real issue?

- Yes well, even when I go inside the schools, the people who was actually doing the bullying.

I talk to them and I let them know, think about how would you feel if that was you.

If you had certain issues that that's going on and someone is making fun of you, laughing and teasing, how would you feel?

And some people that's actually doing the bullying is they have deeper issues as well.

So I try to encourage them to maybe think about some of the issues that they're dealing with, 'cause there's a reason why you're bullying someone.

You got that from somewhere and that there's something going on because nobody just wanna just go out and just bully people.

So I try to tell them to try to get to the root of why they feel like they have to bully other kids.

- When we come back let's talk a little about that because, if you can fix that, you can also basically help the people who are being bullied too.

Back in just a moment with Sherrika Myers, the founder of Every 1 Voice Matters.

We're talking about cyberbullying here on The Journal, back in a moment.

Thank you for staying with us here on The Journal.

Our guest is Sherrika Myers, the founder of Every 1 Voice Matters.

And we're talking about cyberbullying.

And then in the last segment now Sherrika, you made an interesting point.

One of the things that you do is you go out and talk to groups and students in this endeavor.

Is to and make the people who are doing the bullying, try to get into a why they do what they do.

So talk a little about some of the methods you use with that, because obviously they're causing the problem, which then creates issues for the people that are being bullied.

How do you, is there a way you get into their head a little bit to find out why, to see if you can get them to understand why they're doing what they're doing and causing this bullying and this impact?

- It's just a matter of asking questions.

When I talk with kids I don't tell them, I asked them certain questions.

And then when they answer one more question, then based off their response, I ask them the next question, the next question.

And then, so I allow them to answer.

And then when they say certain things, I'm like, okay.

So if you don't like that, you have to get into their mind to understand.

So I don't tell them it's all about asking them, asking them what's the real issue?

Or what's some of the challenges that you face or have faced and then allow them to answer, and then you'll be able.

And then when you do that, it's so so crazy that when I usually do that with kids, then when they answer the question they thinking like, maybe, And then they realize that it's not nice.

And if it was them, they wouldn't have allowed that.

And they realize that certain things are happening to them that they don't like.

So why would you do that to somebody else?

So it's just a matter of asking the questions and allowing them to actually answer.

- Now when you ask them those questions, what are some of the responses?

What would be, I know there's nothing typical about any individual, but are there a few things that come up that are, that constantly come up as to why maybe somebody, when you ask somebody, why do you do this?

Or why are you acting this way?

That are more universal than others.

The things in their lives that are they're consistent to more than just one individual.

- And so it's so funny it all depends on the age level.

Some of the small, the older ones asking me like, why are you asking me that?

Because I'm like, because you're doing it.

Then they'll ask me like, well, I'm asking you because you're doing it.

I wouldn't know if I don't ask you.

And then some, I guess silly reasons like kids are teasing other kids because they have something that another child don't have, or they look a certain way.

They sound a certain way.

They do things differently.

So it's all sorts of silly reasons.

And then when I point out certain ones, so when they asked, when I ask 'em the question and they answer.

And then when I point out something that they're doing, that may be silly to someone else, or may look different to someone else.

And I say, hmm, So how would you like if someone was to tease you on that?

It's so many different silly reasons, but once I asked them, then they'd be like, okay, I understand it don't make sense.

- And it's a good point.

You get them to think about themselves and it gives them a chance to maybe talk about something they hadn't really thought about as to why they do that.

It's like, oh yeah, that's an interesting point.

When you're done with your presentations and your, when you've gone to a school or you've gone to a group setting, something like that, do people typically come up afterwards and then ask you more questions or say, gee, what can we do now?

How do we?

I'm sure that when you're talking with them, you give them a lot of ideas.

But what are some of the questions you get after you've done a presentation where people want to say, gee, I need, I've got something, you mentioned this and it made me think, here's a question for you.

- Well, some of the kids, like one kid, I did a presentation and Maryland.

And one of the kids after the presentation, the kid came up to me and gave me a hug and said, thank you.

He was one of the kids who was doing the bullying.

He was one of The kids doing bullying.

And then I had another kid coming to me, and it's so emotional and so sad sometimes that, when he realized about self-love, he was being bullied.

But he didn't understand why he didn't know.

He didn't understand self-love.

So when I got there and I explained to him, I told him my story, the challenge that I went through.

He understood that it doesn't matter what other kids say.

I mean, you have to live for you.

I have had several different, I have parents that contact because cause at the end I have my very own mascot as well.

So I bring him out and interact with the kids and then I provide brochures.

And some of the parents have called me and said that the kids came home and they saw this lady and she talked about, bullying and things like that.

So some parents have actually reached out to me, And I'm thinking, cause sometimes a child don't wanna talk to their parents.

Don't wanna talk to.

So I always tell them, if you don't wanna talk talk to somebody.

At least they are getting it out.

It's just the fact of them getting it out?

And then when they talk to them, they can talk to their parents, but talk to somebody.

Some parents have reached out to me and actually thanked me 'cause they had never heard their child, respond to something like that.

So I've had several different types of responses.

- And that's another good point because it makes it, gives them some comfort zone to say, oh, I can talk about this to somebody which then makes it easier to talk to their parents or their caregivers, whoever it might be about it.

Whereas before they were like, well maybe yeah, they internalize it.

You said you're trying to get inside.

So that's another good point that it says, oh, it's okay for me to feel this way and then talk about it.

So is why I feel this way and then that, that helps with the movement forward on this as well.

We come back, I know that you you've talked about the fact, that you do have a, you've got a mascot.

You're also a children's book writer, which is interesting too.

We can talk about that.

And then you do have some tips and things for people to try to work their way through, especially when it comes to the online, the technology issue that we're confronting here.

So we come back, we can talk about all those things in just a moment here with Sherrika Myers on The Journal on WBGU PBS.

Thank you for staying with us here on The Journal.

Our guest is Sherrika Myers, the founder of Every 1 Voice Matters.

And we've been talking about cyberbullying and from both sides of the issue.

How to get to people who are bullying.

And then of course, how to help folks who are being bullied.

One of the things I noticed when I was looking through some of the material about your organization, you have a lot of instructional tips and ideas and things that people can do to hopefully help their kids understand.

And when they're dealing with the internet especially online situations, how to help students and kids deal with the fact that there's a lot out there on the internet, not all of it's good.

And you have people who are using as we talked about earlier, social media to do their bullying from long distance.

So talk about some of the ways that parents can maybe at least mitigate some of the exposure to this and still allow their kids to, have use of technology.

- I always tell parents some of the tips I always tell them, limit the amount of time that they're allowing their child to be on the internet.

Find other active desks that's offline.

And also start their day with a morning check-in.

Before the kids go off to school, talk to them.

And when they come home, check on them.

How their day went, things like that, and also instill in your child, self self-esteem self-confidence and things like that.

And then also notice, watch, watch, watch the child.

If you see that your child's become an anxiety, while getting anxiety when they have to check a text message or when they have to go off to school, ask them, talk to them, stop them, 'cause some kids don't say much.

Encourage your kids to talk, if you know that (indistinct) conversation or a good relationship or try to build that relationship with your child and encourage them to talk to somebody instead of leaving it in, holding it in.

- And I know as I looked through all of the material and things you have online, obviously the word here is communication.

Both ways, all ways from all different directions, communicate, be inquisitive about what your child is feeling, thinking, doing whatever and sort of keep a.

And I know we don't wanna, - Monitor - We don't wanna look over their shoulder every minute but at the same, you need to have some awareness of what their life is like, and what's going on, that's good material.

- [Sherrika] Communication is the key.

The number one key.

Now, you mentioned earlier, of course when you go out you do have a mascot.

So talk a little about that.

And then also we'll talk a little about the, the Little Herbie series, 'cause that's a big part of what you do.

- Lil Herbie, our anti-bullying mascot is a mascot that I actually birthed two years ago.

And even though the mascot, he looks like my grandson I have a grandson named Lil Herbie who stutters as well.

And he looks like my grandson, but the real true mascot is me.

It's the child that has been inside of me for so long that dealt with bullying and dealt with low self-esteem self-confidence.

And I finally decided to birth him and bring him to life.

And he interact with kids every time we go to the schools, different community events.

I just wanted kids to have someone that they can relate to a character that actually went through some of the challenges that they've been through, and now he's here and he's going better.

He's here to fight the world against bullying.

- Well, and then it's another opportunity for the child to communicate in a way that makes them feel comfortable, not, oh, should I say, should I do this or shouldn't I, should I say something or shouldn't I?

It opens that door and then allows them to expand from there on, on what they're dealing with or to wanna talk about.

And you've got this whole book series, which deals with, anti-bullying and stuttering awareness (indistinct).

Talk about the little Herbie book collection.

- The Lil Herbie book, the book series is actually geared towards social, emotional learning.

And social-emotional learning are tools that kids can use inside and outside of the classroom to become successful.

It deals with good relationship building.

Social awareness, self-esteem.

Things of that nature that help build a child inside and outside.

And my book series, we have a whole.

And now it's in English and Spanish as well.

We wanna be able to relate to all kids.

So I wanted to create a book series that kids can relate to and that can help them build their inner self and their outer self as well.

And that's why we have the Lil Herbie series book collection.

- And again, another avenue, another means to reach out and then communicate with people.

I know that, and not to pat ourselves on the back, but PBS kids programs have begun and have had for some time, but have increasingly incorporated, kids that aren't just, standard cookie cutter kind of kids.

Kids with maybe a physical challenge or kids with these other issues.

This dovetails right into that, or is another means to do that.

And you talked about, as we've talked about this just a moment or two here.

If you wanted to leave people with two or three things to do today to check on their kids, to make sure that see if they know how they're doing, how are they feeling, to kind of get a sort of take a barometer reading on how's my child doing today?

What would be the first couple of things you'd wanna do this afternoon when a child comes home from school let's say.

- Talk to your kids.

I mean, I can't say enough.

And sometimes a child, you never know what a child is going through.

Just a matter of your child coming to the house and you can ask them, how was your day?

It can change their mind frame at the drop of a dime because you don't know what they went through.

Or just the matter of giving them a hug, that can change a child mind from going in the room committing suicide, doing something to actually hurt themselves.

'cause we as parents, we care about our kids.

Our kids know that but it's another thing to say it.

To actually tell it to actually say, hey, how you doing today?

How was your day?

A kid who was going, who was being bullied picked on or is different, have issues that, that they may be going through just asking them how was their day?

Can mean so much to them.

And I know that because I've been through it, and our goal is to help kids at a young age, not wait until they get my age and develop self-esteem and self-confidence.

Because I went through my life like that.

Just because of the things I've been through in my childhood, and that will affect a child all the way through life.

So as a parent, when your child come home, it don't matter if they smiling or whatever, you never know, the smile can be a block.

It can be, they just smiling, but you never know, Hey, I love you.

How are you?

You look nice today.

Something tell your child something every day that will let them know that they are special, it doesn't matter what other people say.

That they are special.

And that despite who don't accept them, who say crazy things.

Look, I'm gonna tell you, if nobody else is gonna tell you, your parents is gonna tell you.

So that can save a child's life.

People don't, it's the little things, not huge just little tiny little things that a parent or anyone can do to a child that can change their whole objective on life.

- Just something that simple.

- Something that simple.

- And so easy to overlook though that's the problem, so good.

Well, Sherrika Myers of Every 1 Voice Matters.

Thank you so much for talking with us about cyberbullying and all those other things, too.

And of course, people can find information about you online very easily.

You can simply Google your name, you'll see everything about Every 1 Voice Matters the Little Herbie series of books.

And all of your ideas about how to deal with cyberbullying.

And help kids build self-esteem who may be having a difficult time doing that.

So thank you so much for being with us here on The Journal.

- Thank you for having me.

- Yeah you can check us out wbgu.org.

And of course we'll see you again next time on The Journal.

Goodnight and good luck.

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