(film reel rolls) (engaging theme music) >> [District Attorney] Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

>> Gail: I do >> What is your name?

>> Gale Tempest >> What is your occupation?

>> I'm a dancer >> on the night of February the 13th.

Were you working in the Black Bottom Cafe when this murder was committed, >> Yes, but I didn't do it >> Then who killed Kirk Robin?

>> I don't know.

>> Didn't you kill Kirk Robin?

>> I object your honor.

And ask for the last question.

To be stricken from the records.

It is merely an attempt to influence this intelligent broad-minded and most intellectual jury.

>> Objection, sustained.

>> Thank you, your honor.

>> That is all.

(bird chirping) >> Quiet Polly If it please the court, your honor.

At this time I would like to introduce my three main witnesses Howard, Fine, and Howard.

(indistinct audience chatters) >> They were here a minute ago?

Will you pardon me.

Your honor.

I'll be right back.

(indistinct audience chatter) >> Moe: Hey, what's the idea of spoiling the game.

>> Curly: I was for onesies?

>> Moe: Well, here's twosies.

>> Oh, wow, wow.

>> Larry: He was a onesies, you get him... >> Yes, Fivesies (slap) >> gentleman gentleman.

Don't you realize Ms.Gle Tempest's life is at steak.

>> Outta the way (indistinct audience chatter) >> Both: (laughing) >> You gentlemen, please try to be a little more quiet in the court.

>> Certainly judgey the gate is locked.

>> Would you please step forward?

No, no, no.

Prepare yourself for the witness box.

(Gravel banging) >> Take off your hat.

Now raise your right hand.

Now place your left hand here.

>> Take off your hat.

>> Raise your right hand.

Now put your left hand here.

>> Please take off your hat.

>> Raise your right hand.

>> Now put your left hand here.

>> Will you please take off your hat?

>> Raise your right hand.

>> Hmmm.

>> Now put your left hand here.

>> Take off your hat!

>> Raise your right hand.

Will you get rid of that hat?

>> Raise your right hand.

>> Raise your right hand.

Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

>> Huh?

>> Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

>> Are you trying to give me the double-talk.

>> Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

>> Why don't you answer him?

>> He's talking Pig Latin and I don't know what he's saying.

>> He's asking you if you swear.

>> No, but I know all words.

>> He's asking you if you'll swear to tell the truth.

>> Truth is fainter than fiction, judgey wudgey.

>> Kindly address this card as your honor and take the oath.

>> Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth >> Certainly, what do I have to lose.

>> Take the stand.

>> Where do I put it?

>> No, no take the stand.

>> I got it, now what do I do with it?

>> Sit down!

(crashing sound) (crowd laughs) >> Get, common.

You're in a court not in Clancy's Pool Room.

>> I'm a victim of circumstance.

>> Sit down.

>> Who you hittin.

get goin.

>> (laughs) >> (slap) be quiet.

>> Proceed with the case.

>> Were you in the Black Bottom Cafe?

On the night of February the 13th.

>> Certainly >> [Defense Attorney] Did you at that time, see the defendant Ms. Gail Tempest in any way, shape or form committed or try to commit bodily harm to the deceased Kirk Robin?

>> I object your Honor.

defense is trying to lead the witness.

>> Judge: Objection sustained.

>> [Defense Attorney] Mr.Howard did you see Ms. Gail Tempest in physical fight with Kirk Robin?

>> If it pleases the court, may I suggest that council be instructed to allow the witness to testify to what he saw?

>> I say Jasper, uh, what comes after 75 >> 76.

That's the spirit (chuckles) (court room chatters) >> Request granted.

Proceed with the testimony.

Mr. Howard kindly tell the court what you know about the murder of Kirk Robin.

>> Well, it was like this.

Mr. Court >> Addressed the judge as your Honor.

>> Well?

It was like this my Honor, your Honor.

Not my honor.

>> Why don't you like him?

>> Allow the witness to proceed?

The court understands him.

>> Thanks courty you're a pal.

Well, me and my pals we're musicians.

We were tearing up some hot swing music in Newcaster Gale over there was swinging the fans.

Her sweetie Kirk Robin was inhaling a bottle of hoochy at the table and a Hoofer by the name of Buck Wing was getting ready to shake his tootsies >> Kindly speak English and drop the vernacular.

>> The vernacular?

That's a derby.

>> [Defense Attorney] Drop the vernacular.

(thud) No, no not that.

Talk so the jury can understand.

>> Is everybody dumb Say judgey, if you let me, my partner, and Galey kinda act it out for ya.

We'll show ya, just what happened.

>> If counsel doesn't object that an excellent idea.

>> [District Attorney] No objections.

>> No objections (snaps fingers).

Err, err, err.

Okay Galey (court room chatters) (starts playing music) >> A tarantula!

>> Ah!

>> Get it away from me!

>> Ow!

>> What's the matter with you (gun shots) >> Moe: I killed him.

>> Curly: Oh.

A field mouse >> Stand back, it's liable to bite ya.

>> Tarantula, shot five holes in a divet.

get outta here, common.

Waisted five good slugs and a... >> I'll sue you for this.

>> Oh, superstitious, ah, why's I care.

>> Gentlemen, you must control your killing instincts.

Proceed for the testimony please.

>> Proceed.

>> Ow.

Hmm.

(slap) (plays music) >> That was sure hot Moe.

(harmonica noises) >> Hey Larry.

Listen.

(harmonica noise) (plays 'The More We Get Together') (Jury laughs) (coughs) >> You got it.

>> Please omit the rest of the entertainment and continue.

>> Now Gale's dance was over.

I stuck my head in the office door and I saw Kirk Robin and Buck Wing.

Arguing.

Over by the parrot cage.

>> [District Attorney] What were they arguing about?

>> I don't know.

But Buck Wing was sitting like a hot hand blanket.

He grabs Kirk by the neck, like that, see (Curly moans) and drags him over to the letter press, (Curly moans) see.

And he smacks him on the head, like that (bonk) >> Then he pokes his coconut into the letter press see like that.

And then he says, I'll squeeze the cider outta your adam's apple.

Then he gives him the works, like this.

(Curly grumbles) Then he keeps turning (Curly grumbles) And twisting.

(Curly grumbles) and that leaves him, gentleman.

(bonk) (inaudible audience chatter) (bonk) >> What's the matter ya, want to kill me.

>> Wildly preposterous.

When the police broke into the office, they found this women, the defendant, Gale Tempest bending over the body of the murdered man, with a revolver clutching in her hand.

>> Which only goes to prove that my client is innocent.

>> Innocent!

>> Exactly.

And I'll prove it.

Ladies and gentlemen, the action of this pistol is so hard.

It would take a sprinkle of a mule to pull the trigger.

Try it.

>> I'm no mule.

>> Nah, your ears are too short.

>> So, I'm a mule.

>> Pull the trigger.

Never fear, it's not loaded.

>> Hmm.

(inaudible grumble) >> How could Gale Tempest spray little finger pull the rusty trigger of that instrument of destruction.

>> See there was nothin in it.

(gun shot) >> Ah!

>> Oo... >> Broad lane, 9972 after five o'clock.

>> Here >> What, what the... (gunshot) >> Oo... uh.

what you do wit my boutonniere?

>> Give me that gun.

>> What happened?

>> Don't point that gun at me!

(gun shot) >> Moe: Everyman for himself fellas.

>> Huh, there ya are boss.

>> You was calling me a witness, weren't ya.

>> Certainly.

- So was you.

>> What are you butting in for.

You're suppose to be a good one, ain't ya.

- Well ain't I.

>> Now what are ya disturbing the court for.

>> Errr, errr, errr >> Get going (jury chatters) >> Stop chewing that gum.

>> Certainly.

>> Judge: Will you throw that gum away.

>> Look I got rid of it.

(audience laughs) >> Wait a minute, hold still.

I'll get it.

>> Ow!

Ow my nose!

>> Wow!

Wow!

Waw!

>> Hey, you're in a court not in the woods, Tarzan.

Cut it out, common.

(gravel bangs) >> Order in this court.

(parrot chirps 'find the letter') >> What does this parrot mean, by find the letter.

>> There's a whole pile of letters there.

>> Must be here.

>> Look, there's a note tied to the parrots foot.

>> Common, Polly Polly Polly.

Common, Polly Polly Polly.

Common Polly Polly Polly.

Common.

Ouch!

(parrot squawks) >> Get him.

>> Parrot: Wow, wow (bonk) (bonk) (bonk) (bonk) (bonk) >> Hey.

(parrot chirping) (bang) >> Oh, my Stradivarius, oh my beautiful Stradivarius.

>> Grab your ear, scummon.

>> Ow, Oh.

(audience chatter) >> Judge: Order in the court.

(parrot chirps 'find the letter') >> How will we get him now, >> Lets get some salt and put it on it's tail.

>> That's no way to get a parrot, you gotta wet it's feathers so it can't fly.

>> Oh, don't do nothin til you hear from me.

>> Common, give me a hand.

>> Wait a minute, hold it.

>> What do ya mean?

>> I object your Honor, these proceeding, this court room >> Oh.

>> What's the idea?

>> Give me that hose.

>> Do you have any idea... Water?

Water!

>> I gotta get that parrot.

>> Hey you!

(bird chirps) >> Shut that off.

>> Give me that, I got it.

>> Got it?

>> Get this, Who killed Kirk Robin?

I killed Kirk Robin and not with my little bow and arrow, Don't try to find me I'm shipping off to Buffalo.

Signed Buck Wing.

>> Everybody: Hurray - You saved my life.

>> Hold it, hold it.

>> Wait a minute, wait a minute.

>> Just a second now.

>> Now, ready, hold it!

>> Everybody: Ah!

(theme music plays)