>> IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE MILLION OR SO MINNESOTANS RECEIVING A REBATE CHECK FROM THE STATE THIS WEEK, HEY, ENJOY IT.

IF YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THOSE LUCKY FOLKS, TAKE HEART.

I'VE THOUGHT OF A FEW OTHER NON-CASH REBATES THAT YOU CAN MAYBE APPLY FOR.

NOW, THE PER-PERSON REBATE FROM THE STATE IS $260.

SO IT ONLY SEEMS FAIR FOR ME TO SEEK A 260-MINUTE REBATE FROM THE MINNESOTA DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION.

THAT WON'T PUT A DENT IN THE HOURS WE'VE SPENT DODGING PYLONS AND CONSTRUCTION WORKERS THIS SUMMER BUT IT'S A START.

OR WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO GETTING A 260-CALORIE REBATE FROM THE MINNESOTA STATE FAIR, WHICH OPENS NEXT WEEK?

THAT WOULD GET YOU ONE CORN DOG DOG, MAYBE FOUR OR FIVE MINI DONUTS OR ZERO CHEESE CURDS.

AND AFTER A SMOKY JUNE, IT LOOKS LIKE NORTHERN WILDFIRES ARE GOING TO MAKE SEPTEMBER A CHALLENGE AS WELL.

SO, HEY, CANADA, HOW ABOUT A REBATE OF 260 AIR QUALITY INDEX POINTS?

WE CAN SPREAD THOSE OUT OVER THE COURSE OF THE SUMMER.

AND, OF COURSE, THE GOPHER FOOTBALL TEAM BEGINS ONE OF THE TOUGHEST SCHEDULES IN THE COUNTRY IN A COUPLE WEEKS.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I WOULD DEARLY LIKE TO ASK P.J.

FLECK FOR A REBATE OF AT LEAST 260 OF THE PIPE DREAMS I'VE ENTERTAINED OVER THE YEARS ABOUT MINNESOTA GOING TO THE ROSE BOWL.

BUT CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME, I SUPPOSE.

IF I'M GOING TO ASK FOR ALL THESE REFUNDS I SUPPOSE I SHOULD OFFER YOU ONE MYSELF.

SO IF THIS MONOLOGUE WASN'T EVERYTHING YOU HOPED IT WOULD BE, HERE'S ONE MORE REBATE FROM ME TO YOU.

THAT'S 90.

180.

260-DEGR