LAUGHTER HASTINGS: Isn't it bracing, Poirot?

Bracing, Hastings?

The weather.

No, it is cold and wet.

Did you know, Hastings, that the Earth is cooling at the rate of three degrees every 12,000 years?

- No, I didn't know that, no.

- Ah.

Still... beautiful fountain, isn't it?

It is feeble, Hastings.

Fountains used to be more vigorous.

Artistic, too.

I don't know what's wrong with you today, Poirot.

Nothing seems good enough for you.

HE SIGHS I am finished, Hastings.

- Finished?

- Yes.

I shall retire, I think.

HASTINGS: You're at the height of your powers, Poirot.

You are being kind, Hastings.

No, I'm not.

You've got a nice home, devoted friends, a brilliant career.

No, no, no, mon ami.

I am nothing.

I have nothing.

Poirot is finished.

Penny for the guy, miss?

It's only the beginning of October.

You want to avoid the seasonal rush, don't you?

- Where's the guy, anyway?

- Out the front.

Come have a look if you don't believe us.

The old basket downstairs won't let us in with the guy.

DICKER: Oi!

- Scarper, Eddie!

You clear off!

If I catch you in here again... As soon as your back's turned.

- You did them out of a penny.

- And a good thing, too.

You don't want to go wasting your money, encouraging them.

I shan't, Mr Dicker.

Well, I've got a lot of work to do.

You know, I don't know what their parents can be thinking about.

Oh, indeed.

Well, duty calls, Mr Dicker.

Yes.

Well, if you have any trouble, you just come to me.

I'm worried about Poirot, Miss Lemon.

He's talking about retirement.

That's because he hasn't had an interesting case for five minutes.

I must have had my keys to let myself in.

Is that all it is?

That and the fact someone said he was middle-aged.

Trouble is, Mr Dicker kept talking.

He's always been middle-aged.

Have you seen that photo of him at his christening?

I know.

He looks as if he's about to address a board meeting.

Who looks as if he is about to address a board meeting?

HASTINGS: Oh, er...

This fellow I know.

Funny chap.

Well, not funny.

Quite serious, really.

A company director.

- Hastings... - As a matter of fact... - Hastings.

Right.

I'm going to take you to the seaside, Hastings.

Your little grey cells are exhausted.

You are in need of the complete overhaul.

Miss Lemon... my tisane, if you please.

SEAGULLS SQUAWKING Merci.

Say, this is very nice, Poirot.

I wonder where the links are?

Ah, no, no, no.

Hastings, you are not well enough for games.

I shall tell you when you are.

Strange that it's called The Midland Hotel and it's in the north, Poirot.

Whitcombe is the place for health.

Philip, I've got some more shells.

I do hope you're feeling better, Hastings.

We've only been here half an hour.

Ah, yes, but the air here is renowned.

Look at the horses.

Coats of the highest gloss.

It reminds me of a horse I backed at the Cheltenham Gold Cup.

It started at 5-1, came in at quarter-past two.

Oh, that is not very good, surely.

No.

No, it's a joke, Poirot.

Good, Hastings.

You see?

Already you begin to make the jokes.

Sometime... you must explain to me this joke.

I say, look at that.

"My Greatest Cases.

"A lecture by the renowned Chief Inspector "James Japp of Scotland Yard."

We are not interested, Hastings.

We have other fowl to fry, huh?

No, no, no, I'd like to hear that.

"Admission one shilling."

Mon dieu.

That is a lot of money to hear the Chief Inspector Japp.

"Women's Institute, Sandringham Street.

"Thursday, eight thirty."

Fancy old Japp being up here.

There you are, madame.

That's very reasonable.

Windermere for one and six.

Reasonable if one wants to go to Windermere.

A ticket to Windermere, please.

It's very pretty there.

Why don't we give it a go?

I've heard there's a pleasant hotel that does bed and breakfast.

At what time does the train leave?

Well, I don't think it's a train.

POIROT: A bus, Hastings?

No, no, no.

Poirot does not travel on buses.

Oh, come on, Poirot, it'll be fun.

MAN GRUNTS I say!

What a rude fellow.

He rather interested me.

If sheer bad manners interests you.

He interested me because he was growing a moustache, and as yet the result is poor.

You do notice the most extraordinary things, Poirot.

The growing of the moustache is an art, Hastings.

I have sympathy with all who attempt it.

We were very lucky to get these, you know.

There.

Oh... Twelve miniatures of Napoleon's Marshals by Jean Baptiste Jacques Augustin.

They're beautiful.

Each one has a lock of the subject's hair on the back.

And his name written on the ivory.

Isn't that strange?

Now, you're certain you know what to do?

Of course I am.

It'll be all right.

The box will be locked in my suitcase all the way.

Nobody will even see it.

Till the appropriate time, of course.

Of course.

You don't need to worry about them.

I know, my dear.

But this is your first big commission.

That Sevres tea service was quite big.

There was a lot of it.

I...

I was quite worried that you wouldn't be able to carry it all.

And I have to be so careful these days.

Well, I'm all packed.

Shall I put the box in my suitcase?

Oh, no.

No, no.

Leave it till the morning.

What time does your coach leave?

Half-past nine.

Don't worry.

WOMAN: Thank you very much.

Telegraph, please.

Thank you.

TELEPHONE RINGS DESK CLERK: Reception?

Japp.

Ah, hello, Captain Hastings.

This is a pleasant surprise.

I see you're giving a lecture here tomorrow.

Hmm.

Tonight, too, in Fleetwood.

Friday, Barrow-in-Furness.

For the Benevolent Fund, you know.

Good morning, Hastings.

Well, well!

Prepared for the northern climate, eh, Poirot?

Good morning, Chief Inspector.

Hastings, the coach leaves in five minutes.

What's got into him?

MAN: I'll be at Redburn at 12.40.

I don't want to have to hang about there.

No, I know.

I know you've got the more difficult job.

We'll make it, don't worry.

I'll wait for you where we arranged, just so long as there isn't any fuss.

No.

Look, I've got to go now or I'll miss the bus.

Yes, you too.

HASTINGS: Why were you so beastly to Japp, Poirot?

Beastly, Hastings?

It's not these lectures he's giving, is it?

Lectures?

Where can we put our luggage, please?

Luggage round the back.

Oh... Oh, sorry again.

Are you blind or something?

What a rude man.

Bonjour, Mademoiselle.

Oh!

Bonjour.

- Morning.

May I?

- Ah...

Thank you.

That's all right, it wasn't heavy.

All aboard, now.

All aboard.

POIROT GRUNTS HASTINGS: So you work for your aunt, Miss Durrant?

MARY: Yes.

We specialise in beautiful, quality antiques.

Of course, I'm still only learning the business.

I'm sure mademoiselle will be very successful.

Some of them are worth an awful lot of money.

I was surprised.

My aunt's got clients all over the world.

Ah, so she travels a great deal, huh?

MARY: Oh, no, not at all.

If someone wants a particular period table or chair or a certain piece of china, they write to her and she gets it for them.

That's what's happened in this case.

HASTINGS: How do you mean?

My aunt got a very valuable set of miniatures for an American collector.

He's over here on a buying trip.

He's staying in a hotel in Windermere.

And if he likes them, he'll buy them.

I hope so.

I'll have to be ever so careful on the return journey.

I'll have £1,500 in my bag.

In cash.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

Sorry.

INDISTINCT CHATTER They have no tisane, Hastings?

Er, no.

No.

They usually do but... You did not ask, Hastings, did you?

I couldn't, Poirot.

Never will he ask for the tisane for me.

I don't know what a tisane is.

It's a sort of horrible herb tea.

There's such a scrum out there.

They've only got one chap serving.

Excuse me.

Where has she hurried off to, the little one?

Oh, some women's thing, I expect.

- Ah.

- Grand girl, isn't she?

Yes, she is very nice, Hastings.

Have you noticed her eyes?

Very unusual colour.

Oh, most unusual, Hastings.

It is called blue, I think.

INDISTINCT CHATTER, MUFFLED LAUGHTER Hastings... why do those people keep staring at me, and push each other and laugh?

I don't think they've ever seen anyone quite like you before, Poirot.

Ah.

Ooh!

HASTINGS: Where's Miss Durrant?

I hope she doesn't miss the coach.

Why, she is silly, but perhaps not that silly.

Silly?

To tell two perfect strangers that she will soon be carrying £1,500 in her bag is not the height of sagacity, mon ami.

I'm so sorry, rushing off like that.

I was worried about the miniatures.

I thought I saw a man taking my suitcase out of the coach.

I went flying after him and it turned out to be his own.

I felt such a fool.

So your case is all right?

Oh, yes.

It's still in the boot.

His was exactly like mine, though.

What man was it, Mademoiselle?

It was that man who was so rude.

You know, the one with the sort of moustache.

That is quite curious.

Why did he want his suitcase?

He's staying here in Redburn.

More curious and more curious.

He was happy to pay the full fare to Windermere.

I happened to see his ticket when he presented it.

Poirot loves a mystery.

Even when there isn't one.

It used to be my profession, Hastings.

You have heard of me, perhaps, Mademoiselle?

You're not that conjurer, are you?

Perhaps I am.

Perhaps I am.

MAN: No, I'm at Redburn.

No, no, it's all going according to plan at my end.

No trouble at all.

Well just as soon as you can, for God's sake.

The sooner we're out of the area, the better.

No, it's all right.

I'll take that.

All right.

No, no, just someone wanted to take my case.

Yes, don't be long.

KNOCK ON DOOR MARY: Captain Hastings?

FRANTIC KNOCKING Captain Hastings!

Oh, I'm sorry.

The most awful thing's happened.

What?

They've gone.

The miniatures?

Come and look.

I opened my suitcase.

The miniatures were in this dispatch case inside.

Look, the lock's just smashed.

Was it like this when you opened it?

Yes.

I don't know what to do.

Poirot.

Don't worry, Miss Durrant.

You stay here.

We'll sort things out.

What are we going to do?

Mon ami, I am Hercule Poirot, detective retired.

I cannot help you, I'm afraid.

I've had to stay here all night.

I've looked everywhere!

You haven't got spare keys?

Of course I haven't!

I thought you might have a pass key.

No, no, not me.

You'd get accusations, wouldn't you?

Suspicions.

You'll have to change the locks.

Well, I can't.

Mr Poirot would never forgive me if he found out I'd lost the keys.

I can't stay here another night.

Hmm.

And these miniature pictures are worth £1,500, you say?

Yes, at least.

The thief's getting away while we waste time.

He won't get far, miss.

Don't you fret.

It's brains and cunning as counts in this job, not brute speed.

I've just spoken to Mr Wood, the American.

A woman called on him two hours ago, I'm afraid.

Mr Wood was delighted with the miniatures and paid her for them.

But that's before we arrived here.

Well, a fast car from Redburn would have got here long before us.

Oh, it's all my fault.

SHE SOBS Look, Miss Durrant, you can leave this with me.

You get on back to Whitcombe and explain things to your aunt.

SHE SOBS Right.

And PC Flagg and I will go and interview Mr J Baker Wood.

I'll have to talk to my sergeant first, sir.

LANDLADY: Time, gentlemen.

Come on.

Drink up.

You look terrific.

I scarcely recognised you in that get-up.

That's the idea.

Just in case they've got wind of us.

It's wonderful to see you.

I thought we'd never make it.

Did you have any trouble getting away?

None at all as it happens.

I just walked out the door, put the case in the car and drove off.

I was shaking.

I expected to hear a shout at any moment.

We've done it.

So far.

You're the cleverest girl in the world as well as the most beautiful.

She's gonna cop it from her auntie, that girl.

She sounds a bright one, she does.

Leaving all that stuff on the bus while she has her dinner.

It was in the boot of the coach, actually.

There are one or two interesting points about this case, you know.

Oh, yes?

Well, why was the dispatch case forced open, for instance?

To get these little pictures out.

But why?

It would have been simpler to open Miss Durrant's suitcase, transfer the dispatch case unopened to his own suitcase, rather than waste time forcing the lock.

She'd have noticed the difference in weight as soon as she took the suitcase out the boot, and he'd have less time to make his escape.

Oh.

Well, yes.

There is that.

Of course I didn't suspect anything.

Why should I?

She said she came from Elizabeth Penn.

She had the miniatures.

May we see the miniatures, please, Mr Wood?

I guess so.

We'll need a description of this woman too, sir.

Description?

Was she young?

Pretty?

No, sir.

She most certainly was not young.

Or pretty.

She was tall and elderly.

Grey hair.

She had a blotchy complexion and a budding moustache.

A siren?

Not on your life.

How did she arrive at the hotel, Mr Wood?

On a hotel ferry.

There.

Ah.

Yes.

I see.

Very nice.

Now, $7,000 for 12 of those beauties.

I'll tell you, that's some bargain.

I'll be taking that, sir.

What do you mean?

Evidence of a crime, sir.

Hey, you gotta be kidding.

You'll get a receipt.

Denzil.

We have to assure ourselves who the rightful owner is.

What do you mean?

I'm the rightful owner!

I'm $7,000 worth the rightful owner!

That's not for me to say, sir.

Then don't say it, I'll say it for you.

Those are my goddamned miniatures!

That's for the court to decide, sir.

HASTINGS: You mean, you have to come from the railway station by boat?

ARKWRIGHT: The station's on the other side of the lake.

There.

- Oh, I see.

Good day.

Morning.

- Mr Arkwright?

- Aye, sir.

Did you bring an elderly lady to the Lake Hotel today?

I bring lots of old ladies, sir.

Tall, grey-haired, bit of a moustache.

Oh, aye.

I picked her up at the station at 12 minutes past one.

How are you so sure of the time?

Because the Lancaster train gets in at one o'clock and it arrived at ten-past.

Does that train stop at Redburn?

Redburn?

No.

That's on Maltbrook line.

Stop at Redburn!

ARKWRIGHT LAUGHS Mary Durrant arrived at Redburn at about ten past twelve.

Now, we know that, we were with her.

An hour later, an old lady is here in Windermere, with the miniatures, and on her way to Wood's hotel.

Now, I'm sure it was the fellow with a bit of a moustache, dressed up.

He could have got from Redburn to Windermere in an hour in a fast car.

But the old lady didn't arrive by car, she got off a train.

And a train that doesn't go near Redburn at that.

Hastings... ..why do you not grow the moustache?

What?

I did not achieve true facial symmetry until I grew the moustache.

It caused me great unhappiness as a young man.

I don't want facial symmetry.

I want help.

Ah, well, I am retired, Hastings.

Such puzzles no longer interest me.

Oh, that's...

I think I will go back to Whitcombe in the morning.

Oh, all right.

Hastings, the fact that the ferry man picked her up at the station does not necessarily mean that she got off the train.

If she didn't come by train, how did she come?

Who knows?

Hastings, you have done well.

But you will be on this case a long time, I think.

Don't I know it.

Right.

I'm going back to Redburn in the morning.

Reconstruct the crime, that's the thing.

Start from the beginning.

The start of a new life.

I don't think much can go wrong now.

I'll wait for you in the car.

There you are, sir.

There's your change.

Thanks.

Come back and see us again, won't you?

So, as I see it, it started here.

This fellow with a bit of a moustache had an accomplice with a fast car who drove him to Windermere while he dressed up as a woman in the back seat.

It'd need to be a pretty sporty car to do that journey in the time.

What?

Something like that, you mean?

It's him!

Stop!

Don't stop!

VINNEY BLOWS WHISTLE Here.

That's not meant for chasing.

Get in!

This is a patrol car, not a chase car.

Get in!

FLAGG: Come on!

Get out of the way!

HASTINGS: Move over!

VINNEY: Go on, get out of the way!

I'll have you!

I'll have you!

There's nowhere they can turn off for a bit.

Not till they get to Beckersdale.

They have turned!

Well, I'm blessed.

It won't get 'em very far.

It's a dead end, that is.

It only goes to Endskip, doesn't it?

I hope we don't meet anyone coming the other way.

TYRES SCREECHING My God!

Come on.

- Come on, Sarge.

VINNEY: Right.

FLAGG: Come on, lad.

Come along, madame.

Why can't you leave me alone?

Don't you know what it's like to love a man?

Well, er, no, not exactly.

Sergeant.

Come along.

No trouble.

Oh.

It's you again, is it?

I might have known.

Come along, sir.

Why should I help you?

Because we might get your money back.

I'm gonna get my money back, all right.

My attorney's on his way up here from London.

Look, if we could just... All right.

Can we just get on with it?

Ready.

Well?

No.

Right.

Ready.

VINNEY: Take your hat off.

Well?

No.

D-Don't hurry.

Take a good look.

Imagine him dressed up as a woman.

Hat, skirt, all that sort of thing.

It's not him.

But he's got a moustache.

You said she had a moustache.

The woman who sold me the miniatures was nothing like that.

She didn't have a mole like that.

Like what?

That mole on his forehead, for God's sake.

You couldn't hide that.

Oh!

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute!

Oh, no.

- That's Lady Amanda Manderley!

- Who?

Don't you guys read the papers?

I mean, she's eloping with that novelist, er... Norton Kane.

Are you Norton Kane?

It's so good of you to come with me, Mr Poirot.

No, no, no, not at all, my dear.

How could I possibly leave such a charming young lady in so great distress?

But perhaps now that I am here, I can help you to explain this delicate matter to your aunt.

Oh, thank you so much.

ELIZABETH: Mary?

Is that you?

How did it go?

I've got Mr Poirot with me, Aunt Elizabeth.

We came back to Whitcombe on the bus together.

Mr Poirot is a famous detective.

Do you think I don't know that?

Oh, you are too kind.

But something terrible's happened, Aunt Elizabeth.

I don't really know how to tell you.

I regret to inform you that your miniatures... ..they have been stolen.

ELIZABETH: Stolen?

But how could they be stolen?

Where were they stolen from?

They were stolen from the bus when we stopped for lunch at Redburn.

But have no fear, it will not be long before the miscreants are apprehended.

Don't give us away to my father, will you?

Oh, no, of course not.

Whereabouts are you headed?

Can't tell you.

Cheer up, Captain Hastings.

Oh, yes.

I'm sure you'll catch your robber.

Yes, well, with our one and only suspect gone, I'm damned if I know how we're gonna catch him, eh, Captain Hastings?

HASTINGS: I think I'll start with the fish soup followed by the haddock.

Try and shake up the old grey cells a bit.

You see, what I can't understand is, if Norton Kane wasn't the woman with the moustache, who was?

You have done your best, Hastings.

The renowned Chief Inspector Japp would have given up long ago.

Thank you.

You're not jealous, Poirot, are you, of Japp being asked to give these lectures?

Jealous?

No.

Of what interest is it to Poirot, the Whitcombe Institution for Women, huh?

If it was the Royal Society, now...

But then I hardly think that Chief Inspector Japp would be invited by the Royal Society.

No, no.

It is only the Institution for Women at Whitcombe and such places that will listen to the Chief Inspector Japp claiming the cases of Hercule Poirot for his own.

I'm sure Japp wouldn't do that.

Can we please talk of something else?

The renowned Chief Inspector Japp is of no interest.

No, thank you.

HE SIGHS I've got to see Mary Durrant tomorrow.

Perhaps you should bring Mademoiselle Durrant and her aunt, and Monsieur J Baker Wood face en face and discuss this thing.

I don't see what good that'll do.

I don't know what I'm gonna say to her and her aunt anyway.

Sleep is the thing, Hastings.

For myself, I fully intend to get to bed immediately after dinner.

And I strongly advise you to do the same.

Ready to order, sir?

Do you have a light?

- Evening, sir.

- Good evening, constable.

JAPP: Don't Put Your Daughter On The Stage, Mrs Worthington.

A fine song by Mr Noel Coward.

And the same holds true for the police force.

HE GASPS Pardon.

Because detection is a darned lonely business and detectives are perhaps inclined to be lone wolves.

If you'll pardon the expression.

And, at the conclusion of a case, there are always other parties not of the police force who will claim to have solved it.

I refer, of course, to that bane of the policeman's life... the amateur sleuth.

Or, worse still, the professional private detective.

The professional private detective, ladies and gentlemen, is not the glamorous figure of fiction.

He is a man who, failing in more worthy walks of life, and being of meddlesome and trouble-making disposition, finally comes to rest in a dingy office over the chip shop, where he plies for hire in the sordid world of petty crime and divorce.

Except, I have to say, for one.

I have been fortunate in my career, in that many, indeed perhaps most of my cases have been shared with that most extraordinary of private detectives, and, if I may borrow a word from his own native tongue, that doyen of the Belgium police force, Monsieur Hercule Poirot.

I think I may say without fear of contradiction that Hercule Poirot has one of the most original minds of the 20th century.

Intelligent.

Brave.

Sensitive.

Devastatingly quick.

Hercule Poirot stands head and shoulders above any other detective of my considerable experience.

IN HASTINGS' VOICE: I say, Miss Lemon, I'm fearfully worried about the keys.

IN POIROT'S VOICE: Order and method, Miss Lemon.

Order and method.

IN HASTINGS' VOICE: The Lagonda's got a hole in it, Miss Lemon, the filly's on fire and the keys are bent.

POIROT SPEAKING FRENCH POIROT: 'The little grey cells, Miss Lemon.

'Reconstruct the scene of the crime, mon amie.'

SHE SIGHS Come up to door.

Take keys out of bag.

Unlock door.

BOY: 'Penny for the guy, Miss.'

- I come in.

DICKER: 'You clear off!'

Dicker follows, still talking.

AS DICKER: You shouldn't encourage 'em.

Wasting all your money.

NORMALLY: Oh, it works.

It really works.

Come now, Hastings, tell me where you stand in this case and Poirot will do his humble best to assist.

No, it's no good.

I don't stand anywhere with the case, really.

Anyway, I'm the one who's got to face the music.

Well?

Captain Hastings.

- Hello, Miss Durrant.

- Have you got some news?

Well, er, no, not really.

No, I understand.

- Hello, Monsieur Poirot.

- Mademoiselle.

I haven't given up yet.

The shop of your aunt is beautiful, Mademoiselle.

She'd love to see you if you can spare a moment.

We would be delighted.

Monsieur Poirot's here, Aunt Elizabeth.

And Captain Hastings.

ELIZABETH: Oh, how nice.

Have you managed to retrieve our miniatures for us, Monsieur Poirot?

Pardon, Mademoiselle, it is Captain Hastings who's in charge of this affair.

And he hasn't, I'm afraid.

Well, we found them, all right, but we can't retrieve them.

Mr Wood says he bought them in good faith, so they're his.

So he's still got them?

No, the police have taken them.

Well, I'll get them back in due course?

HASTINGS: That depends on what the court decides.

It would help if we could catch the thief.

Oh, my God!

What is it, Captain Hastings?

I've got it.

I've got it!

I've got it!

Miss Penn, I can get your miniatures back.

You may be able to help, too!

Excuse me.

Hastings, wait!

Come on, Poirot!

What on earth are you playing at?

- I've got it, Poirot.

- What?

What have you got?

The answer to this case.

It must've been the haddock.

I feel wonderful!

Hastings!

I'll see you in the hotel later.

As soon as I said it, I knew.

Who knew Miss Durrant was on her way with the miniatures?

Who could have found out she'd be stopping at Redburn, and who had a fast car to get into Windermere?

I don't know.

Who?

J Baker Wood himself, of course.

Really?

I don't believe any woman ever came to see him.

I think he went to Redburn and stole the miniatures himself.

Hmm.

What about the ferryman?

Well, all he said was he'd picked up a woman at the station and taken her to the Lake Hotel.

I imagine he takes a dozen women a day to the Lake Hotel.

All right, but I don't know what you're going to do.

Well, it's quite simple, really.

You see, Wood has never met Miss Penn or Miss Durrant.

I've asked him to come over from Windermere.

Now, when he sees this beautiful young girl and her aunt in a wheelchair.

What?

Well, he's going to feel pretty damn small, I can tell you!

- Really?

- Oh, yes.

Even a hardened criminal like him isn't entirely without a heart, Japp.

Come on.

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ON PIANO HOSTESS: If you'd like to follow me, there's a table for two over by the window.

WOMAN: Lovely.

- Thank you.

I hope they're not gonna be late.

The timing's absolutely crucial.

Since I am not going to be told what is going on in this case of yours, Hastings, I can make no intelligent contribution to any discussion of it.

- It was your idea.

You didn't want anything to do with it.

It was my idea to bring together these three people... Monsieur Wood, Mademoiselle Durrant, and Mademoiselle Penn.

- I don't remember that.

- Now, now.

- Here you are.

- Thanks.

PIANO CONTINUES PLAYING We could have another plate of them sandwiches.

You should have made 'em last.

I thought a proper tea was coming later.

MAN: Ready?

Right, steady.

Steady, now.

- Here we go, Sarge.

- What?

They've arrived.

The old one in the wheelchair, like you said.

I should be sitting there.

It's no good me sitting here.

I can't see nothing.

How good of you to come, Miss Penn.

Do sit down, Miss Durrant.

What a handsome room.

This is Chief Inspector Japp of Scotland Yard.

How exciting.

How do you do?

Why don't you sit next to Monsieur Poirot, Miss Penn.

Mademoiselle.

MARY: Aunt Elizabeth was so hoping you'd have good news for us.

Well, I hoped so, too.

Is that all?

Just hope?

ELIZABETH: It's all right, Mary, dear.

The dear child.

She's so protective on my behalf.

ALL CHUCKLE POIROT: Mademoiselle Penn, may I offer you something to eat or a cup of tea?

ELIZABETH: I'd love a cup of tea.

What's happening now?

Nothing.

Just gabbing.

APPLAUSE One learns patience, sitting in a wheelchair, Monsieur Poirot.

I am sure that is true, Mademoiselle.

The captain's standing up.

Oh, it's the Yank, he's arrived.

It's very good of you to come.

- Do you have the miniatures?

- All in good time.

You said I'd get them back.

I haven't driven all this way on a wild goose chase.

HASTINGS: I assure you, if you just bear with me.

I thought this hotel was going to spoil the coastline, but at certain times seen through the mist or at sunset, it really... - Mademoiselle Penn, the mist is beginning to clear, I think.

I don't think you've met Miss Durrant.

How do you do?

I feel unwell, Mary.

And Miss Penn.

Look, this is all very nice, but I didn't... No, I've never met Mr Wood.

We've only... - Mr Wood?

- Come along, Mary.

My aunt isn't feeling well.

Hold on, hold on.

Mademoiselle Penn.

How did you know it was Monsieur Wood... Mademoiselle Penn?

Nobody has mentioned his name.

Well, I didn't.

I just... POIROT: You could not possibly have known him.

Not unless it was you who took the £1,500 from him for the miniatures.

Why, it was her.

Made up to look like a frump.

But it was her.

POIROT: Made up to make everybody else think that it was a man dressed as a woman.

N'est-ce pas, Mademoiselle Penn?

You thought that you would keep the money and get back the miniatures as stolen property.

HASTINGS: Wait a minute.

She was... - Nice work, if you can get it.

JAPP: So, Miss Penn... What do you say to all this?

VINNEY: She's off, Sarge.

- Stop her.

- All right, got you!

- Take her away, Sergeant.

And now, Mademoiselle.

You... - And her!

- Not so fast, Miss.

Lock 'em both up!

SHE GRUNTS But she...

I didn't...

I mean... Hastings couldn't see it at first.

He was trying to work out how the miniatures got from Redburn to Windermere.

Quite.

Exactly.

Then he realised they'd never been in Redburn.

Masterly, Hastings, you diagnosed the true nature of the crime.

Oh, well...

Unfortunate, of course, that you set a trap for quite the wrong culprit.

Excuse me.

Merci.

Excuse me, sir.

- Hmm?

- You forgot your receipt.

- Ah, merci beaucoup.

- I hope you enjoyed your stay.

- Yes, indeed.

Gentlemen.

HASTINGS: Allow me, Poirot.

There's something about you here, Japp.

"Chief Inspector Japp "to speak in north country lecture tour."

You knew.

That's why you dragged me all the way up here.

No, no.

It was the other side I was interested in.

I did not know that... "Learn to speak French like a Frenchman?"

In Belgium, Hastings, it is considered quite bad form to read another person's newspaper cuttings.

Thank you.

HASTINGS CHUCKLES CAR ENGINE TURNS OVER Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com