>> Hi, I'm Lewis Howes, New York Times best-selling author and entrepreneur, and welcome to "The School of Greatness," where we interview the most influential minds and leaders in the world to inspire you to live your best life today.

In this episode, we sit down with Candace Parker, two-time Olympic Gold Medalist, as well as one of the most successful basketball players in the WNBA.

Today, she teaches how to develop a winner's mentality that you can apply to every area of your life.

I'm so glad you're here today, so let's dive in and let the class begin.

♪ ♪ So glad that you're here.

I've been a big fan of you, what you represent, your dedication and commitment over the years of excellence and greatness.

And I want to start with the winner's mentality, because I think you -- obviously, you have it -- you've been a winner your whole life.

And I'm curious -- what does it take, in your mind, to develop a winner's mentality, even when you're not winning?

>> I honestly think it's, like, the obstacles and the barriers.

I was fortunate enough to grow up in an amazing environment at home.

My parents -- both my parents were there every game, every play, every everything, and honestly, I feel like I was really lucky, from that standpoint.

But when I got to college, I think, in some ways, in some areas, because things were so quote-unquote "perfect," in a way...that might have hindered my tenacity and my, you know, ability to know if I could get over obstacles.

And so, you know, when I got -- >> You had too much love from your parents.

You had too much love from your siblings.

There was not enough adversity growing up.

>> Just not enough adversity, and, you know, honestly, it's a way of evening things out.

I get to college and, you know, I wake up from surgery -- and I tore the ACL the year before, wake up from surgery, and they're like, "You might not play basketball ever again."

And I just remember, you know, at that point in time, my dad, he let me have my pity party, and then he was like, you know, "You can either have a pity party, or you can get this done."

So you need to decide.

You need to look at yourself in the mirror and you need to make a promise.

And, like, at that point, it was like, I think I developed that mentality.

Like, I decided to have that winning mentality of overcoming adversity and obstacles.

>> Do you think all champions need adversity in order to become a champion, or can they get there without some surgery, break down, letdown, parent break up -- you know, some type of extreme adversity.

Do you think it's possible?

>> I'd be interested to know if there's anybody that has just had it, because I mean, even if you think about, like, Michael Jordan, you think about the greats of Phil Jackson, you think about -- you know, just, everybody that's amazing in their field -- Serena Williams, Dominique Dawes, Dominique Moceanu.

Like, you think about those amazing athletes -- they've faced adversity.

I mean, there's always been a time where you have to decide whether you're going to get up or you're going to quit, and I think it's because they get up, that's the reason why they're equipped to be able to face those challenges.

I mean, everybody thinks that, like, when you win a championship, everything's so easy.

But you go back, like, "What if Jordan didn't make that steal against Karl Malone?"

Like, there are certain plays that you have to make.

>> One play.

>> One play completely defines who somebody is or isn't, and I think those moments of adversity kind of prepare you for that moment, so you're not scared of it.

>> How much doubt do you have with yourself?

Do you live with doubt or insecurity, or do you feel like you are unstoppable, every moment of the day?

>> It has taken a while for me.

I don't know if it's doubt or just learning to be in the moment.

Because everybody has insecurities, everybody has doubt, everybody has fear -- a "what if" type of thing.

But when you're truly, like, in the moment, that stuff doesn't matter.

And I would get so -- If I scored 30, or if I scored 35 and had an amazing game, I was onto the next play.

It was the next game, next whatever.

But I found when I scored 10 or 5 and didn't play well and just -- I hung onto it.

And so, I learned that I play better when I'm just in the moment, and I prepare, do the best I can, and then I live with it.

And it wasn't always like that.

>> Yeah.

[ Laughs ] >> Wasn't always like that.

>> Did you ever used to beat yourself up for many days and weeks or months, in a poor performance?

>> 1000%.

>> Really?

>> And you can see it.

My brother -- my oldest brother played basketball for 10 years in the NBA.

He's been my hero for life.

I talk to him after almost every game, and Anthony would always tell me, "You should take the shots you are -- you should take, regardless of what the previous play is."

And he would see my hesitation, if I missed a couple.

And then, obviously, Kobe.

I asked him, because he would be the king of going 5 for 26 and then hitting the game-winner.

And I remember asking him -- >> Missing over and over -- >> He would miss over and over and over again, but then get the ball in the crunch time, do his move, go to his spot, right-shoulder turn around, bam.

Like, left-dribble, bam.

And I remember asking him, like, "How do you have the courage to take those shots?"

And him saying, "Because I put in too much time and so much effort and so much repetition that the next shot has to go in."

Like, percentage-wise, when you miss 3 or 4, you should really be taking that next shot, because it has to go in.

>> Wow.

>> And so, he's like, "When you prepare, that's when it takes all that out of there."

So, just kind of listened to that, and, you know, it's taken some time.

[ Laughter ] >> It's still getting there.

>> I'm still getting there, yes.

>> What's been the biggest insecurity you've had to overcome?

>> I feel as though, when you're able to do a number of things -- when you can dribble, when you can pass, when you can shoot -- people expect you to always, constantly make the play that you should make, or the best play.

And because you can do so much, I find it harder, because you don't know if that's a good shot, because you can make a nice pass.

And so I think the struggle I've had has been making sure that I'm listening to my voice and what I know is right and doing the best I can, and not necessarily focusing on the other stuff.

>> Mm-hmm.

>> Because, when you become a leader -- when you become, you know, a star on a team, and you're depended on night in and night out, you're going to make more mistakes than people on the team.

I mean, that's the reality of it.

>> Yeah.

>> But you have to be confident in your decisions.

>> How do you handle your emotions when you know you've made a mistake and you're being criticized for that mistake, whether it be by a few people or by the online world, or whatever it may be?

>> It's really funny, because this last two or three years, my mantra has been, "Calm is a superpower."

I always struggled because I feel as though, in women's sports -- in women in general, in business, wherever, politics -- if you lose your composure, you're considered crazy, irrational, out of control.

Whereas with a man, you're considered passionate, competitive, and all these things.

And, so I just determined, like, it's better to be calm anyway.

Like, you look back on things and usually, it's when you go crazy where you're like, "You know, I shouldn't have said that."

I shouldn't have done that.

I shouldn't have thrown that.

You know, you're apologizing for action, usually not inaction.

And so, that's kind of been my place of trying to reach that calm and be calculated.

And the people I respect the most, they think before they say.

That's kind of what I've tried to develop.

I'm not perfect at all -- I'm probably nowhere near where I need to be, but that's kind of been my mantra.

>> You think the greatest athletes are more calm than they are reactive and passionate, let's say?

>> I think our society likes to put and label individuals.

Like, you meet people that are loud, and say all these words, but what's the action that backs it up?

And to me, it's the action.

It's not necessarily what you do all before that.

Unfortunately for me, I was born with this problem that everything I think... >> [ Laughs ] >> ...Comes across my face.

>> I'm the same way.

>> To the point where now, my daughter, at 11 years old, will be like, "Mom, what's wrong?"

Like, when something comes on the television or something like that.

Like, "You think this."

And I'm like, "No, I don't think that."

But I do, but I don't, you know?

>> Yeah.

>> It's trying to get under control having composure.

And I've learned throughout that when the team or whatever organization you're a part of as a leader, if they're hyped and their level is 10, it's your job to kind of bring the team down to an even-keeled level, and when everybody is down, it is your job to -- >> Bring them up.

>> Yes.

>> A little bit, yeah.

>> It is your job, and so I feel as though, like, as I'm getting older and as I'm maturing, I try to do that in whatever situation, whether it's the team, whether it's my family.

I'm trying.

You know, it's not always -- >> I know, right?

>> It's not always -- it doesn't always work out, but at the same time, I think that's what I'm attempting to do.

>> Are you a student of sports psychology, by any chance?

>> Oh, my gosh.

>> Have you worked with sports psychology?

>> It's my minor.

It's my minor in college, yeah.

>> This sports psychologist said that you should always practice like it's game and bring your energy to the game level, and then at game time, actually, like, calm down and just be more relaxed and calm, and be in the flow.

So I always thought that was interesting.

It's like, raise it up in practice, bring it down for the game.

Because usually, before I learned that, I would get so hyped before a game, like -- >> In the game.

>> And then I'm like, "Man, I'm tired."

You know, it's like, you got no energy because you just exhausted it in warm-ups and you're not relaxed, so.

>> It's so true.

>> Have you ever done that, where you're just like, "Ahh, I'm going to the championship!"

and then, "Whoo, I can't even lift my knees today."

>> Yeah, we call that the, like, first two minutes, you know, when you get out of breath in the first two minutes of the game, and -- >> You haven't done anything.

>> You know, the playoffs -- I remember, we were in the WNBA finals, and I walked out there and it was game 5 against Minnesota, 2016 -- this is my first elimination, winner-take-all game.

And I remember looking around, and my heart was beating, and taking deep breaths the first two minutes, and then you get lost in your craft.

So it's like, literally, it's just getting past those first two minutes of anxiousness, and that's when you have the turnovers and the problems and whatever.

And then you just settle in, and you try to, you know, do what you've always done.

>> Yeah.

What was that like, being a mom in a career that, I guess, most women don't have kids at that age when they're trying to become great as an athlete in the WNBA, that early.

What was that like for you, being a young mom while being the face of the WNBA.

How did you manage that?

And how do you manage it still?

[ Laughter ] >> I remember -- it was coming off of 2008.

We'd won the National Championship, won Olympic Gold Medal, we lost in the WNBA Semi-Finals -- Western Conference Finals in a last-second shot.

Anyway, I can still see it.

>> Oh!

>> And I remember, I had just won Rookie of the Year and MVP, and I was in San Antonio, and I remember, I started feeling a little sick.

And I was like, "Hmm.

OK." And my best friend was the first to find out.

Like, I told her that I was expecting.

We were all excited.

I was supposed to go to Russia that year to play overseas, but, obviously, we wanted to wait to tell everybody or whatever.

The first reactions I got were so disappointing to me.

Like, it was almost more of like, "How could you do this to us as fans?"

Not within the organization, but just the reaction that I got from others of, like, "Oh, she's done.

She's washed up.

She's not going to be able to come back."

Like, she's not -- >> After your first year in the league.

>> It was after my first year.

>> Wow.

>> I became a young mom, and let me give you some history.

I've always wanted to be a mother.

That has been what I feel as though I was born to be.

I was playing dolls until I was, like, dang near 14.

I just love the idea of having a little you running around.

And so, I always wanted to be a young mom.

So, although I was surprised, I was extremely excited to have a daughter.

But that wasn't the way it was accepted, and at the time, you know, I set my mind where I was like, "I'm going to come back and play on this date."

So she was born May 13th.

I played on July 5th in a game.

>> Two months later?!

>> Played two months later.

>> Two months later?!

>> I was working out two weeks after I had her.

>> What?!

>> I worked out my whole pregnancy.

>> Young and dumb.

You don't know.

You're young and dumb, you know?

>> I got this, I'll be back in two weeks.

>> Yeah, back locked up, everything.

It was crazy.

>> Oh, my gosh.

Two months later, playing.

>> Yes, and she honestly has been my entire inspiration, motivation, every single thing.

Every day I wake up, I want her to know that I'm working for her, I want her to know that I love her, and I want to set a great example.

And honestly, the biggest thing that I would like to -- message I would like to get across is within parenting, within sports, we've got to change and shift the perception of athletes in parenting, in being there, because a number of times, I would go places and Lailaa wouldn't be with me and they would be like, "Oh, well, who's watching Lailaa?"

Like, "Who's taking care of Lailaa?"

Like, who's whatever.

But they're not asking LeBron or Steph or anybody, or Damian Lillard or whatever, and I think it's so important for fathers to be there as well.

>> Where do you think you'd be if you didn't have her at that age, and you had 5, 7, 8 years in the WNBA and in your career, only in that.

Do you think you would have "accomplished more" -- won more championships?

Or do you think being a mom actually helped you become a better athlete.

>> I think being a mom helped me become a better person, and I say this all the time.

Like, without the injuries, without having my daughter, I might have had more championships.

>> Without injuries and your daughter.

>> Without -- yeah, honestly.

But where I am now, in terms of realizing, like, I am so happy.

I'm trying to get better every single day.

Trying to acknowledge my faults and look at myself in the mirror and see where I need to improve and get better, and a lot of that is because of her -- because of my daughter, because I want to -- I want to be somebody that she is proud of when she is older, that she wants to come home.

That she is proud of who her mom is, and not what I've accomplished.

>> Yeah.

Do you have a mantra that you live by on a daily basis, or when you're in practice, or when you're at a game, when things aren't going well?

Or when you're tired, when you want to stop, when you'd rather go relax -- do you say something to yourself?

>> Well, I have two things.

One, so, I played for the late great Pat Summitt at Tennessee.

>> I saw her speak once, when I was 16, and I was so impressed with her leadership.

What was that like?

>> Coach Summitt is one of those people that people try to emulate and be like her -- there's nobody that can ever touch what she, who she -- anything.

It's just, Pat is Pat.

She transcended women's sports, she transcended the ability of a lot of her student athletes to even have confidence in going forward and being who they are and walking into rooms.

When you talk about women equality, gender equality, she spearheaded all of that.

>> Wow.

>> So, I would say, my mantra when things get tough, because I think I learned so much more about her when things got tough than when she's winning championships.

To me, it's like, let's look when things aren't going right.

Let's look when stuff isn't going well -- when you're not hanging banners, when you're not cutting down nets.

Like, how are you as an individual?

What are you really doing day to day?

And she almost did it more so when things were tough.

And I asked her, I remember, you know -- when she first got sick, I asked her, like, "How do you get through day to day when things get tough?"

And she's like, "Left foot, right foot.

Breathe, repeat."

>> Phew.

>> And honestly, that is, I promise you, what I say sometimes.

Even when I'm, like, wanting to explode, I'm like, "Left foot, right foot.

Breathe, repeat."

Like, that's my -- that's my mantra.

And then, secondly, I heard -- I cannot remember -- it was in gym class, when I was in, like, 8th or 9th grade.

They had somebody come in and speak to us, and they said that the power of humans is our ability to have compassion and think of others' needs, and think of what others would want to do, and sometimes we end up putting others before ourselves.

And so, on those days where you don't want to do something -- on those days where you're struggling, who are you doing it for?

And so for me, when I, like, don't want to work out, when I don't want to hop on the Peloton and do my 45-minute workout, I, like -- Lailaa.

Like, I'm doing it for her.

>> You think of someone.

>> Mm-hmm.

I'm like, "I'm doing it for you."

And sometimes, I'll tell her, "Lailaa, I worked out for you today."

Like, "Lailaa, I got on that plane to go to Atlanta today for you."

Like, that's who I got on the plane for.

And so it kind of helps, you know, when you want to do that extra -- you don't want to do that extra set or you don't want to do that extra line drill or whatever, I just say who I'm doing it for.

>> Isn't that true.

When I'm running long-distance, I don't want to run long distance.

I just committed to doing a marathon in March in L.A. because I've been putting it off for my whole life.

>> You're a saint.

>> Because I'm a sprinter.

You know, I'm a basketball/football player -- I don't run more than 3 miles, and that's a lot.

And I've been starting to, every mile, think of someone when it gets hard, and put my attention towards that person.

And my focus is, "I don't want to let this person down."

And me stopping this mile is letting this person down in my life.

And so I use that as a technique and a tool to just put my attention elsewhere, as opposed to my own pain or tiredness.

And it really helps.

>> That's amazing.

>> And when I run the marathon, I'm going to have a wristband and I'll put a name -- 26 names.

>> That would be -- >> And just look down every mile and put my attention toward those individuals.

>> You know, you can turn on a television and you can tell teams that play with energy -- it's just something that you can't touch, you can't feel, it's not -- it's the intangibles.

And I feel like that with working out, with the way you do things.

Like, energy is everything, and if you can create and find that energy, like, you're able to do so much.

>> Where do you think you'd be without coaches in your life?

Do you think you would be able to be as great of an athlete, champion, All-American, Player of the Year, without coaches.

Could you do it on your own, you think?

>> No.

Absolutely not.

For me, personally, it's like -- sports is like a metaphor for life.

There's so many things within life that I wouldn't have been able to get over or accomplish or persevere through without having those failures in sport.

And I always love the coach that kind of, like, tests people to see how they react.

Yeah, no, I definitely wouldn't be able to accomplish any of this stuff, just because I think the mental toughness -- when you're young you don't understand why, but, you know, soon, you realize later in life, you're like, "Huh.

That's what allowed me to have the mental toughness."

Because, you know, when you're younger, everybody kind of micromanages your time.

You're in study hall to make sure that you do it, they're checking every grade.

Then you get to the pros and they're like, "Yeah, so the bus is at this time, we play at this time."

You gotta eat by yourself, you gotta figure out your workout plan -- you have to do all these things, and so, it's like, coaches before taught me how to have discipline.

And sometimes, people don't do what they need to do -- they need other people to tell them.

And once you get to a point where you're kind, like, your own disciplinarian, I think it's really special.

>> I've always been very disciplined -- I wouldn't say always, but I'll say when I got to high school and on, I got very disciplined because I got clear on my goals.

But having a coach could always push me a little harder than I would push myself -- just a little bit, even.

I could push myself hard -- you know, I could work out with the best of them alone in the gym, but it's like, you got someone over your shoulder helping you, correcting you, just watching you, it'll push you a little harder.

When I transitioned from playing arena football -- I never made it to the NFL, but I was making $250 a week and I felt like the richest man in the world, because I was getting to catch a football and I got paid.

Playing arena ball, it was very hard to transition out of not having a team, a coach, an organization, and I quickly, within about a year, was like, "I need to make my life a sport."

I need to find coaches and fitness and relationships and business and have some type of guides helping me.

And I've always had coaches since then, and it's always made me better.

So I'm a big believer in coaches, in sport, in life, as a mom, as a whatever.

For me, personally, it's key.

>> I think it's key, and you hit it right on the head.

And Coach Summitt used to always say this -- when you're chasing something, you should chase people and passion.

>> Ooh.

>> And if you chase those two things, you'll never fail.

And, in a way, especially in these last two years, when I've kind of started thinking about what do I want to after basketball -- after the ball stops bouncing.

I realized it's, like, your relationships that you're building with people, and you know, my goal -- I want to win another championship, for sure, within basketball.

But my goal after basketball, like, I look at guys like Magic Johnson and I look at how he's kind of a -- like, he's a businessman.

Because honestly, like, if you think about it, just training-wise, team sports are run like a boardroom.

>> Yeah.

>> That's how it is, and so you're learning and you're competitive and you learn how to fail, you learn how to get up -- we're coachable.

And that's the first thing I say, any time I have a business meeting or anything, like, "Listen, I'm coachable."

So you tell me what you want, what you don't like, we can talk about it.

And so that's kind of -- you're right, it is about surrounding yourself with great people.

And, you know, obviously, you're going to be passionate at what you do, but it's the people that really make it.

>> This question is called the Three Truths -- I ask everyone at the end.

>> OK?

>> So, hypothetical question -- imagine it's your last day on Earth and you've achieved and accomplished everything you want to accomplish.

But for whatever reason, you got to take all of your accomplishments with you -- all the content, this interview, anything you ever create, videos of you from the past -- they all go with you.

But you get to leave behind three things you know to be true, to the world.

And this is all they would have access to, are these three lessons you would share, or what I like to call, three truths.

>> Phew... >> What would you say are yours?

>> My three truths that I would leave behind would be...

I know the cliche, "You are your biggest competition."

But growing up, my dad used to always tell me, like, the measuring stick for others, you might be head and shoulders above, but what you're truly able to accomplish and what you're truly able to do, if you base yourself all the time on what other people are doing, you're going to sell yourself short sometimes.

And so I think, for me, it would be like, you truly are your biggest competition.

>> I like that.

That's one.

>> Another "competition" type of thing, because I'm driven by that, is -- you know, I posted a couple days ago about how when you compete against how undisciplined you are, when you compete against, you know, looking at the mirror and knowing your blind spots and the things that you struggle at, compete against everything within yourself that you know you need to work on -- when you start competing against that instead of competing against somebody that got the job that you wanted, you're going to be so much better.

>> Yeah.

>> And so, I think that that's -- those are two things.

And then, the last thing would be just enjoying the process.

Like, enjoying the everyday-ness.

What do they say, that the days are long and the years are short -- like, that's how it is.

So, if there's anything I really believe in, enjoying the moment and enjoying the process, and living with the results.

>> Yeah.

Final question for you -- what's your definition of greatness?

>> My definition of greatness is repeatedly getting up and doing something because you know that that's going to get you where you want to go, even when you don't feel like it.

I feel like it's kind of -- greatness is the definition of commitment, where it says, what is it?

Doing what you say you're going to do, even when the moment passed that you said it in.

And I feel like that's greatness, honestly, is continuing, whether it's when the lights are on, when the lights are off, when the gym is empty, when the gym is full, continuing to do what you know you prepared and what you should do.

>> Candace, thank you so much.

>> You're awesome.

>> Appreciate it, thank you.

> Thank you.

I appreciate it.

We hope you enjoyed this episode and found it valuable for your life.

Make sure to stay tuned for more from "The School of Greatness" coming soon on public television.

Again, I'm Lewis Howes, and if no one has told you lately, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.

And now it's time to go out there and do something great.

If you'd like to continue on the journey of greatness with me, please check out my website, lewishowes.com, where you'll find over 1,000 episodes of "The School of Greatness" show, as well as tools and resources to support you in living your best life.

>> The online course "Find Your Greatness" is available for $19.

Drawn from the lessons Lewis Howes shares in "The School of Greatness," this interactive course will guide you through a step-by-step process to discover your strengths, connect to your passion and purpose, and help create your own blueprint for greatness.

To order, go to lewishowes.com/tv.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪