(upbeat music) - Candy, chewing gum, cigarettes, money.

Candy, cigarettes, chewing gum, candy, cigarettes, cigars.

(upbeat music) - Now, calm down, Ethel.

You're as nervous as a filly on her first race.

- Are you telling me?

- Come on, get a move on ya.

Get to your places.

Oh, nearly missed the opening, eh?

Now, the next time you're fired.

All right, take your place.

- Keep you pretty busy, don't they, Sam?

- These dames are gettin' worse.

Eatin' too late, all the wrinkles are coming out.

- Where's Duke?

- Oh, he's on the other side, but you better hurry.

It's about curtain time.

(upbeat music) - You'll have to knock 'em dead tonight, honey.

The house is packed.

- That's great, Duke.

Now, perhaps you'll get back some of the money you so foolishly put in your show.

- Foolish, why sugar, that's what I've been working for.

To have a show of our own, with you as star.

- You're sweet.

My lips, my makeup, you'll ruin them.

- All right, but you'll pay double after the show.

- Oh, you.

(audience applauding) - Cut, places.

(audience applauding) (upbeat music) ♪ Got a gal down in Dixieland ♪ Takes my heartbeat to beat the band ♪ ♪ Hear the train whistle for the band ♪ ♪ Get out of my way, boys, I've got to scram ♪ ♪ Blackberry baby, I'm coming to you ♪ ♪ Blackberry baby, I'll have it to you ♪ (muffled singing) ♪ Blackberry baby, all mine ♪ Blackberry baby, ain't going to pistol ♪ ♪ Soon I'll be traveling, sharp as a whistle ♪ ♪ I won't be satisfied 'til I am by your side ♪ ♪ Blackberry baby, I'm mad ♪ You laugh and I laugh when we get together ♪ ♪ You step and I step and Johnny Fad never ♪ ♪ Blackberry baby, you are my honey ♪ ♪ Blackberry baby, sometimes it's sunny ♪ ♪ So babe I got to be right now with you with me ♪ ♪ Blackberry baby, I'm mad ♪ Blackberry baby, your town is gorgeous ♪ ♪ Blackberry baby, your town is gorgeous ♪ (muffled singing) ♪ Blackberry baby, you're mine ♪ Welcome to Dixie, here is a lady ♪ ♪ All of a sudden, welcome to baby ♪ ♪ We're never satisfied, watching our old in line ♪ ♪ Blackberry baby you're mine (upbeat music) (feet tapping) (upbeat music) - That Andrews girl has got plenty of what it takes.

I can give her a big break.

Mason, I can't figure what your objection is.

- My objection is that it would ruin the lives of two fine young people.

- Look, Mason, how much do you pay that whole troop?

A $1,500 a week guarantee?

Surely not more.

Six months from now she could make that much by herself.

You're just a sentimental old fool.

- Maybe so, but I've watched those kids grow up on this circuit.

Duke gave up a promising stage career to push Ethel ahead.

Oh, he's done a fine job of it, too.

Next season, she'll be the biggest attraction we have.

- Out here in the sticks, what'll it get her?

(audience applauding) (slow music) (audience applauding) ♪ You and I have made a small beginning ♪ ♪ Don't know what our fate is going to be ♪ ♪ Chances are we'll get what we're deserving ♪ ♪ We will be the tops just wait and see ♪ ♪ I know you remember all I've told you ♪ ♪ We'll see our dreams through ♪ You remember ♪ We'll work hard together while we're dreaming ♪ ♪ Our plans have meaning ♪ I know you remember ♪ Fine cars, luxury ♪ We'll have more than thee ♪ Don't care what people say ♪ We stay together - Look at that personality.

She's a cinch for the big time.

♪ You'll believe me, win or lose ♪ ♪ I'm with you - You hear that voice?

That's what they buy.

♪ I know you'll remember (audience applauding) - Did you wow!

Listen to that applause.

- Come on, you two lovebirds, out of the way.

- Yes sir, mister stage manager.

- All right, girls, in your place, let's go.

(audience applauding) - Don't rib him, Duke, he's right, and I have to make a change.

- And I have to see Mr. Mason.

(upbeat music) (audience laughing) (upbeat music) (feet tapping) (audience laughing) (upbeat music) (hands tapping) (feet tapping) (audience laughing) (upbeat music) (audience laughing) (upbeat music) - [Mason] Duke, Mr. Marshall is a talent scout for an Eastern circuit.

He thinks Ethel has big time possibilities.

- Oh boy, that's great.

I've been waiting a lifetime to hear news like that.

I knew it would come sometime.

When would you want us to report, Mr. Marshall?

- Us, what do you mean us?

- You see, Duke, Mr. Marshall wasn't figuring on you.

He wants Ethel to do a single.

- A single?

Alone?

- The Bronze Nightingale.

Her name, sensational, what publicity.

My kind of a build up and she's in the bag.

You can tag along if you want to.

- Tag along?

I don't think you understand, Mr. Marshall.

We've always been together, always hope to be.

I studied Ethel, taught her, brought out the best in her.

- It could be a great chance for her.

- Chance?

Why it's the break of a lifetime.

What's her talent getting her here?

- I know all that, but I produced her show.

- Producers are a dime a dozen in New York.

- Well, I wouldn't be the first one to crash in.

Well, I've heard -- - A lot of fairy tales.

Ever been to New York?

- No.

- Then I'll tell you what it would be like.

In and out of offices, nothing today, come back tomorrow.

Just butting your head up against a stone wall.

It would break your heart and hers.

You wouldn't want to stand in her way, would you?

- Stand in her way?

Of course not.

- New York is her dish.

Think of her in lights, Ethel Andrews.

The Bronze Nightingale.

A new star is born.

Gaiety, glamour, she's entitled to that and I can get 'em all for her.

What can you do?

- The, uh, show just broke, gentlemen.

Good night.

(door closing) (quiet music) Good house for the opening night.

- Isn't she beautiful?

- [Woman] And can she sing.

- Why, she's the whole show.

- Come on, it's late, let's go.

(quiet music) - It's a surprise from Duke.

With his usual card.

- Ain't Duke a prince?

- Ella, the Duke is tops.

He's giving me a chance to do a number next week, and I sure have been rehearsing hard.

- You've been holding out on me, huh?

- You know better than that.

- Well, come on, let's see it.

- Well, here goes.

(feet tapping) (scatting) (door knocking) - Ella.

(door opening) - Ella, I want to speak to Ethel.

- I'm practically gone.

(door closing) - Duke, darling, what's the matter?

- Oh, I guess I been kind of selfish, keeping you on this small time stuff when you belong on Broadway.

- Dear, you'll be a dreamer all your life and I wouldn't have you different, but don't you know that if Broadway is for us, we'll get there.

- Marshall, a talent scout for an Eastern booking circuit has been watching you.

He thinks you've got what it takes.

Ethel, we show people live and strive for one goal, the big step, and when opportunity knocks, we've got to answer.

It's your chance, kid, take it.

- Without you -- - Don't say it, honey.

I'll never tell you anything that isn't right because, well, you remember.

(peppy music) (machine clacking) - Here are the reports, Mr. Mason.

- Thanks.

- Oh, hello, Mr. Davis.

- Hello, Gladys.

Hiya, Mr. Mason.

- Well, Duke, you broke the season's house records.

- That's fine.

- How about Ethel?

Have you made up your mind yet?

- Sure, but she hasn't made up hers.

I've been arguing with her for the past two weeks.

She just laughs at the idea of our splitting, says it's ridiculous.

- Sometimes a surgeon has to cut deep and hurt, but it's for the patient's good.

(quiet music) - [Announcer] We offer dish, the Bronze Nightingale.

A new star is born.

Publicity, glamour, gaiety.

- [Mason] Sometimes a surgeon has to cut deep and hurt, but it's for the patient's good.

(quiet music) (door opening) - Gee, it's been a swell two weeks.

- I'm so glad for Duke's sake.

(door knocking) - [Duke] Ethel?

- Yes, Duke, come on in.

We've just about finished packing.

I'm so glad you've given up that silly idea of our separating.

Why, I just couldn't stand it.

- You couldn't stand it, suppose you think of me for a change.

Remember that?

- [Ethel] Our contract.

- Now, listen Ethel, I've tried to reason with you for the past two weeks.

Tried to be kind, but you wouldn't listen, now I'll tell you something.

I can make myself a piece of money out of that.

Here, take a look.

- $5,000.

- Sure, I can cash in on this contract and I need the dough.

- Oh, that's all I mean to you.

Dollars and cents.

I don't think I ever knew you until now.

Laugh's on me, I guess.

Here, you forget my part of the contract, now you can collect.

- Well, I'm glad you decided to be sensible.

I'll be seein' ya sometime.

Lots of luck.

(dramatic music) (sobbing) (dramatic music) And she never knew me until now.

(dramatic music) (audience applauding) Ethel, Ethel!

(paper ripping) - Duke!

You're a great guy, but I'm not going to let you get away with this.

- It's the best thing for her, Ella.

- Best thing?

I'm going right back and tell her the truth.

- Listen, Ella.

You've got to promise not to say a word.

Because, well, you remember.

- What?

(door knocking) Hold the wire.

Come in.

Where do you go next week?

Say, you play the last half of this one at Athens, and that's a season's worth these days.

Where do we go next week?

Yes?

- Good morning, Mr. Lake.

Remember me?

I'm Duke Davis, I used to do a single for you.

- So did a lot of other hams.

No, I don't remember you.

- It has been a long time, but say, I've got a brand new -- - Oh sure, I know, new gags, classy songs, swell wardrobe.

I hear that every day, I know it by heart.

Got whiskers on it.

Nothing for you.

I guess you've heard that before.

Anyway, in case you don't know it, Waterville's as dead as a last year's woman's hat.

All I'm looking for is girl acts for the picture houses.

- Well, that's great, Mr. Lake.

You know, I'm a producer, and that would be right up my alley.

- And the alley's so full of producers, the health department's kicking.

Say, I do remember you.

You and that Andrews dame.

She was a good meal ticket for you once.

Ought to be a better one now.

She's a big time hit.

Why don't you hang a touch on her.

- I'm thinking of doing the same to you, my love.

(typewriter clacking) (dramatic music) (paper crumpling) (typewriter clacking) (dramatic music) There you are, Mr. Mason.

A brand new show, I just finished writing it.

- I hope you've got something here, m'boy.

- It's a wow, it's got everything.

- Heard from Ethel.

- No.

But look, I can use my old people.

They know my work and I know what they can do.

Of course, you'll have to stake me, I'm broke.

- If you're as good as you used to be, we'll manage to put on your show.

(bright music) (clapping) - That's swell, kids.

That'll be all today, 10:00 in the morning.

- Wait a minute, and that don't mean 10:30 or five after.

It means 10!

- All right, drizzle-puss.

- How's it shaping up to you, Sam?

- It's a lily, but Duke, you always put on good shows.

- I hope so.

(peppy music) You don't have to say it, Mr. Mason.

I know.

The show did a nosedive.

- Breaks of our game, my boy.

- But I know where it's weak.

Say, a couple new specialties and tighten up that comedy.

Why, I can doctor up this show in two shakes of a pawn broker's head.

- I'm sorry, Duke, but my bankroll just can't stand any more strain.

- Well.

(paper ripping) That's that.

Anyway, thanks for giving me a break.

I'm sorry.

Sorry for the flop.

- Forget it, Duke.

(door closing) - What did the boss say?

Ah, Duke, we'll show him, this ain't the only circuit.

- No, Sam.

Get yourself a job.

You can handle a stage better than any man I know.

- I ain't going to leave ya.

- Yes, you are, 'cause I can't pay you.

Here.

I'm splittin' the bank roll with you.

(bills rustling) Good luck, Sam.

(door closing) - Good evening.

- Good evening.

(crickets chirping) (door opening) - Psst.

Psst.

Ah, as I leave and breathe and gargle my tonsils, Duke Davis.

- Doctor Dorando, the old boy himself, how are ya?

- Riding the crest.

Favored by fame and followed by fortune.

And how is the bright star of the theatrical preeminent?

The scintillating, shimmering satellite of -- - Save it, Doc.

What are you peddlin' these days?

- Peddling?

A vile word, m'boy.

I am engaged in revealing to supping humanity this peerless remedy.

This amazing healer, Doctor Dorando's universal elixir.

- That's fine, sit down.

How's business?

- Ah, marvelous, stupendous, colossal.

I might even add that business is, uh, fair.

- Ham and eggs, turn my eggs over, please.

- (throat clearing) Uh, miss?

- Nothing doing, mister, this is no drug store.

You've stuck us for plenty already.

Money talks from now on.

Order of ham and eggs, over.

- Duke, how about making that order a double?

- Sure.

- Duplicate the order, young woman, and keep my eggs honest.

Looking me in the face.

- Another order of ham and, sunny up.

(napkin rustling) - Finished, Doc?

- Alas, yes.

(register dinging) (crickets chirping) Duke, a thousand thanks.

Perhaps you will accept a slight return for your hospitality.

- That's all right, Doc, you know you're welcome.

Come clean, now, up against it?

- Well now, I am suffering a temporary setback but come over to my headquarters and we will discuss matters at length.

- Oh well, have you the time?

(chuckling) I understand, come on, Doc.

- Why no, Duke, I haven't been north of Alabama in two to three years.

- That's why I haven't seen you before, Doc.

- Oh Duke, I want you to meet Prince Alakazoo, my faithful companion.

- Dippy Dodds, hiya.

- Yes sir, Mr. Davis, how are you?

- Oh, so you know the Prince?

- Dippy was property man on one of the Toby shows I was with.

- Yes sir, I had a job in them days.

Excuse me, Doc, uh, when does I eat, or doesn't?

- Tush, tush, m'boy, always thinking of your stomach.

- Yassir, thinking.

(laughing) - Step right inside, Duke, step right in.

- Thanks, Doc.

- Ah, here, here's 15 cents, here, go and get yourself a good meal.

- Say, Doc, you didn't rob a bank, did you?

- Run along, boy, you annoy me.

I wish to speak with Mr. Davis.

Make yourself comfortable, Duke.

- Thanks, Doc, I was just looking things over.

- Hmm.

- Nothing like having a place of your own, is it?

- Ah, home sweet home.

Sit down, Duke, sit down.

(cat screeching) Ow, get thee from behind me, Satan.

(laughing) As you have dubiously observed, a financial stringency does exist.

In fact, I'm disposing of the remnants of my stock to keep this in a man alive.

- So, you're broke.

- Well, no, not exactly.

Only a very, very small matter separates me from a cool million.

- (laughing) Yeah, what is that?

- $15.

- Listen, Doc, cut out the act, give me the lowdown.

What's put you behind the eight ball?

- Well now, the wholesale house has cut off my credit, and business -- - Has been rotten.

- Mmm, exactly.

The suckers, er, that is the customers, don't fall like they used to.

- Uh huh, still giving them that same old speil, expecting them to form a line with their money in their hand.

- Well now, I guess that's about it, but it's a good speil.

It always was.

- That's out now.

What you've got to do is entertain them.

Give them something for nothing.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, Duke.

That's against all my principles, but elucidate.

- What you need is showmanship, and that means Duke Davis.

I'll bring your show up to the minute, how about it?

- Son, we're partners, 50/50.

Ah, this speaks of brighter and better days for old Doc Dorando.

- First of all, I talk about the customers.

Forget the medicine, something like this.

Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to announce the return of famous Doctor Dorando to your thriving community.

He brings you the benefits of a lifelong dedication to the study of the alleviation of human suffering.

The doctor's happiness, naturally, is your happiness.

Isn't that so, doctor?

- Oh, yes, yes indeed.

- To be sure, but my friends, in order to be happy, you must be healthy.

- Ain't that the truth.

Mister, I've got a powerful misery in my left shoulder.

- Aw, a very serious condition, but the doctor's universal elixir will make you a healthy man.

Have no fear, step right this way.

Yes sir.

Thank you.

Now, um, before I tell you of this wonderful discovery, this universal elixir, let us have music.

Professor.

Ladies and gentlemen, Professor Duckbill, wizard of the strings, will now entertain.

Strike it up, Professor.

(bright guitar music) Looks like business is going to be good.

(bright guitar music) - Sheriff, I ain't going to stand for it.

Them fellas take all the money out of town.

- I don't see what I can do about it, Large.

He's paid his license.

- That so?

But, sheriff, I ain't going to put any pressure on ya, but just remember, it ain't far to election.

That's all.

(bright guitar music) (audience applauding) - Yes indeedy, yes indeed.

- Good day.

Sheriff's here.

In-kle inch-be and-be am-scray.

- You sap, he's fixed.

Very well, your highness.

The Prince hopes that you will all get what is coming to you.

- I sure hope we don't get what's coming to us.

- Have no fear, there'll be plenty for all, and now let me tell you of this wonderful elixir compounded of rare herbs, gathered from the ends of the Earth.

From the icy wastes of the polar regions, the blazing heat of the Sahara Desert, regardless of cause.

- A pack of lies.

I don't believe a word of it.

Come on, sheriff, I'll show 'em.

- Those are strong words, sir.

Are you prepared to back 'em up?

- I sure am.

As a respectable druggist, I -- - Ahh, just as I thought.

Friends, this man sells you a bottle of medicine, charges you a dollar, maybe he cures you and maybe he doesn't.

- [Smithers] Ain't so!

I know the stuff ain't no good.

- You hold your lip line, Smithers.

I drunk two bottles of your medicine for my sciatic-y, and I'm painin' yet.

- It wasn't for drinkin', it was for rubbin'.

(laughing) - Thank you, lady, thank you, but need I go on, I see you get my point.

There is no guarantee that what this man sells you and takes your good money for will cure your ailments.

Now then, if you are suffering from sciatica, cold in the head, headache, or any of the other ailments that might come to plague you, just see what one bottle, one bottle mind you, of Doctor Dorango's marvelous universal elixir will do for you.

- Hold on a minute.

Will that there stuff grow hair?

- Grow hair, sir, I'm glad you brought that up.

I ask you to look at the good doctor and notice that luxuriant growth of hair.

Why, four years ago the doctor fell ill with synphalitosis of the metatarsal, a very dangerous disease, and all of his hair fell out, but thanks to the universal elixir, but why go on?

Why go on, doctor?

Show them what universal elixir has done for you.

(crickets chirping) (crowd murmuring) (cat screeching) (laughing) - I knew it, I knew it, it's a fake.

Now, sheriff, do your duty.

- I'll give you just five minutes to be one mile out of town.

- Ah, Doc, we're leaving.

- So I anticipated.

Joe, Joe, remove those chairs, start packing.

(audience laughing) Dippy, hook up the car.

(audience laughing) (bottles clanking) (engine rumbling) Well, it looks like old man Jinks is with me permanent.

- Don't let a little thing like that get ya.

When I really bear down, we'll be selling more stuff than any medicine show in the business.

- No, Duke, it ain't no use.

- Forget it, Doc.

I've got more ideas than a clock has ticks, and the first idea is in the future, we're going to glue that wig on, tight.

For Pete's sake.

- Hey!

Aw, imp of darkness and demon of disaster.

(laughing) - Smells like the coffee's ready, now for the eats.

(engine rumbling) (crickets chirping) - Say, Joe, here's a good spot to turn off the main drag, 'cause them folks back there are sure hostile.

- Looks kind of rough to me.

- Yes, but I ain't takin' no chances.

- Okay by me.

(engine rumbling) (scuffling) (dishes crashing) - Suffering catfish, Doc, the place is on fire.

Here, here, look out, put your foot up here, Doc.

Let me get that out for ya.

Hit that with some water here.

(scuffling) Doc, this water thing ain't workin'.

- What, no water?

- No!

Get some blankets.

- A blanket, okay.

- Quick, quick Doc.

- Here you are, here.

- Joe, Dippy, Dippy!

(engine rumbling) - Dippy, Dippy, Joe.

(door closing) (gear clicking) - Let's get out of here, let's get out of here, c'mon.

(water splashing) (laughing) Some christening, Doc.

Through fire and water, we can't fail now.

(laughing) ♪ For man, then ♪ Romance should keep it sour or sweet ♪ ♪ That's the future of trespassers ♪ ♪ Dissipation only ends in defeat ♪ ♪ Don't let our love song ♪ Turn into a blues ♪ As long as life lasts let's be true ♪ ♪ To one another - Did I steer you right?

She's got it, hasn't she, chief?

♪ With sad melodies ♪ True love will guide us through ♪ ♪ Stormy weather ♪ Everyone should be true to his own ♪ ♪ Let's make sure before this chance has flown ♪ ♪ We won't disagree on anything ♪ ♪ Just get along together like a romance in the spring ♪ ♪ Our love boat must still ♪ Be lost on its cruise ♪ Don't let our love song turn ♪ Into a blues ♪ Everyone should be true to his own ♪ ♪ Let's make sure before this chance is flown ♪ ♪ We won't disagree on anything ♪ ♪ Just get along together like a romance in the spring ♪ ♪ Our love boat must still ♪ Be lost on its cruise ♪ Don't let our love song ♪ Turn into a blues (audience applauding) - I like her, and Broadway will more than like her.

- She'll wow 'em at your Century Club.

- Bring her up to my office in the morning.

(audience applauding) (bright guitar music) - Atta girl, Ethel, I knew you'd do it.

(bright guitar music) (audience applauding) Thank you folks, thank you, thank you.

And now folks, I wonder if you'd mind stepping down a little bit closer so I won't have to, not too close, lady, the kerosene from the lamp is leaking and it's liable to get on your clothes.

Friends, I'm here to introduce Doctor Dorando's universal elixir.

The average adult, by adult I mean a person who has stopped growing at both ends and started in the middle.

(audience laughing) The minute a man like that gets sick, he runs to a doctor, and the doctor tells him, which reminds me, I had a patient come to me, a little fellow with a glass eye, he didn't tell me it was a glass eye, of course, it happened to come out during the conversation.

(audience laughing) - Ain't he a card?

- Aha, you see it, he didn't.

Anyway, this man went to another doctor, a foreigner, an alienist.

This doctor told him you are not going to get well, but to make sure you're not going to get well, I will call in another doctor.

Now, the other doctor told him that he was threatened with paralysis.

(laughing) Why do you laugh, brother?

Don't you realize it's an awful thing to be paralyzed?

- Sure is, you feel so rotten in the morning.

(audience laughing) - I don't know you, my friend, but I think you show poor taste to laugh at so serious a subject.

Anyway, this man finally came to us and Doctor Dorando, whom I shall introduce presently, diagnosed his case as stomach trouble.

Friends, do you realize that the death rate on stomach trouble a year averages one death per person?

(audience laughing) Ah, you may laugh, but that's a fact.

Doctor Durando put this man on a milk diet, until he was strong enough to take his medicine, and that man would be alive today if he hadn't -- - Died.

- Oh, no, my friend, if he hadn't held out the Saturday night's paycheck on his wife.

(audience laughing) Now, before I go on with my talk, I have a treat for you.

I should like to introduce the Durando and Davis world famous quartet, The Cats And The Fiddle.

Come along and swing it for 'em, boys.

(audience applauding) (folksy music) ♪ He's the man that smokes that jive ♪ ♪ That jive will take you for a dive ♪ ♪ One sip, he's still alive ♪ When you smoke that killin' jive ♪ ♪ It will make you very tall ♪ Seems as if you're going to fall ♪ ♪ Knock yourself out for a ride ♪ ♪ You know I mean that killin' jive ♪ ♪ You will think you'll blow your top ♪ ♪ But, baby, start laughing and you just can't stop ♪ ♪ Now won't you give him a smile ♪ ♪ 'Cause he's a sad man not a bad man ♪ ♪ Everything will seem so funny ♪ ♪ Darkest days will seem so sunny ♪ ♪ That feeling will arrive ♪ When you smoke that killin' jive ♪ (fast folksy music) (scatting) ♪ Da de da da da da de rididi de rididi ♪ ♪ De rididi de rididi de rididi de rididi ♪ ♪ De rididi de rididi de rididi de rididi ♪ ♪ La da na da da da da da da (bass plucking) ♪ La na da ♪ La la da da la da ♪ La la da da da da da ♪ La da da da da da da la da da da ♪ ♪ La da la da de ♪ La da la da de ♪ La da la da de ♪ They say it man, not bad man ♪ Everything will seem so funny ♪ ♪ Darkest days will seem so sunny ♪ ♪ That feeling will arrive ♪ When you're high man ♪ You're sailin' man ♪ You're in the sky man ♪ You got a red man ♪ You'll be so mellow ♪ Just like a jello ♪ When you smoke that killin' jive ♪ (audience applauding) - The Duke sure knows how to get 'em, don't he?

- You tellin' me.

(audience applauding) - And now for the real treat of the evening.

It gives me a great deal of pleasure to introduce Doctor Dorando, the discover of universal elixir himself in person.

Doctor Dorando.

(audience applauding) Here sits a man that has done more for mankind with his universal elixir than all the doctors in the world put together.

What he has done to others, he can do to you.

The doctor will sit by my side to verify any and all statements that I may make.

Is that so, doctor?

- Oh, yes, yes indeed.

- Friends, as I look over your smiling faces, the thought comes to me that a lot of those smiles may be covering up sickness and suffering.

Maybe some of your are suffering with rheumatism.

Here are some carbon neutralizing rings guaranteed, you do guarantee them, don't you, doctor?

- Oh, yes indeed.

- Guaranteed to keep away rheumatism.

Just think, friends, we are giving away free these marvelous manifestations of modern science, and here, here are some chestnuts all the way from the land of the East Indies, the land of mystic and magic.

Put one of these in your hip pocket and you'll never be bothered with sciatica.

- Mister, I haven't got a hip pocket.

(audience laughing) - A healthy lady like you will never be bothered with sciatica.

(audience laughing) And these chestnuts, too, are free with every bottle of Doctor Dorando's universal elixir at $1 a bottle.

Neighbors, we only have a limited supply.

You won't all be able to get a bottle.

We haven't got them.

- Ouch, my corn.

- Give a bottle to the lady with the corns.

I said give.

It's free to you, madam.

Now, I tell you what I'm going to do.

When I ring this bell, the sale will start.

When I ring it again, the sale will stop.

Not another bottle will be sold.

- All right, folks, have your dollars ready.

(bell ringing) Here you are, here's your neutralizer and yeast ingested.

Take your time, now, folks.

Take your time, don't rush, there's enough for everybody.

- Those who suffer from acid indigestion, gas, sour stomach, cramps, sciatica, lumbago, rheumatism, gout, swollen joints, mumps, dandruff, fallen arches, or if any of your family or livestock are sick, universal elixir will cure them.

I don't care what the matter is.

One bottle will put new life and vigor into those old bodies of yours.

- Gimme two bottles.

- Two bottles, sold to Methuselah.

- No Dippy, I'm sorry, sir, only one bottle of this precious elixir to a person.

Now, folks, time's up.

- Say, gimme a bottle of that stuff.

- All right, folks, always want to be right with you here.

(bell ringing) - Say, I've already bought that bottle.

Had my money out and everything.

- I'm sorry, neighbor, but the bell just rang.

- But he passed me up, I had my money out.

I came on papers to get a bottle of medicine.

C'mon, Doc, let me have a bottle.

- I'm sorry, folks, but if I let that man have a bottle after the bell rang, everybody will want one.

(crowd grumbling) Brothers, you're making it tough on me.

The only bottles I have left are those set aside for our next town, Centerville.

(crowd grumbling) Let me have a word with the good doctor.

It's a sell out, Doc, we can peddle all we got.

The doctor has agreed to my suggestion, and to show you our hearts are in the right place, Joe?

- [Joe] Yessir.

- Break out that lot for Centreville and start selling again.

(crowd cheering) I don't want to leave your town with any hard feelings.

Don't rush, there'll be elixir for all, and remember, a dollar spent now means hundreds saved later.

Don't miss this wonderful opportunity.

You'll never regret it, you'll never miss the money.

What is money compared to hell?

(crowd murmuring) - Hey, gimme another bottle.

- Spam, you bought five bottles already.

(audience laughing) (crowd exclaiming) (peppy music) - Ah, Duke, I've been thinking perchance we should invade the metropolis.

- No, Doc, they've forgotten more tricks than we'll ever learn.

Doing all right as we are, aren't we?

- Ah, yes indeed.

That vision of prophecy was mine when we encountered each other only a short year or so ago.

Ah, how time has flown on golden wings and tonight, we have reached the pinnacle of our success.

- That's a good line you sling, Doc.

(bells ringing) - [Announcer] Station WEDK, New York City, now brings you your nightly hotshots from the hotspot by your spotter.

- [Announcer] Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

This is the spotter with the spotter news.

Hottest hotspot, Ferdie Fenton's Century Club, has cooled off after the first presentation of a new revue, featuring the erstwhile Bronze Nightingale Ethel Andrews, who still wobbles a swell pair of pipes but is nix when it comes to filling the heavy spot in a Broadway biggie.

Some of the blame, or maybe all of it, pins on Fenton, for trying to rush the gal from sticks to steeples in a few weeks, and one Marshall, who authorized this one, should be forced to eat raw egg.

- Look, Mr. Fenton, I can dope this show.

- Not on my money.

I must have been doped when I let you talk me into it.

That girl's a specialty, not a star.

- Well, why not go back to her first setup?

Remember when you first saw her in Philadelphia?

Bill her as a single.

Remember her rave notices, remember the variety?

- Yes, I remember, and I'm thinking about what variety will do to me now.

As a producer, Marshall, you're a good agent.

Back to the sticks, I'm through.

(door closing) - From pinnacle to pit, bottomless pit, that's me.

Don Dorando's wonderful discovery is headed for a drainpipe instead of strain tripe, and all because of that devilish device.

That broadcastin' apparatus.

While, I have a mind to bust that -- - You understand, Doc, doncha?

- Say, Duke, can I drive you down to the station?

- No, Dippy, thanks, I'd rather walk.

I want to be by myself.

Well, so long, fellas.

(dramatic music) - Oh, so that does mean something to you?

Where we heading, honey, south?

- No, we're moving to another apartment.

We can't afford all of this now.

- A fortune teller told me once that I was a cyclist.

- A what?

- Somebody who can see things that some people can't.

- Oh, you mean a psychic.

- That's it, a cyclist.

Well, I've been having notions about somebody down south.

- And I'm trying to forget the south.

- You're kidding yourself, honey.

Anyway, Duke's down there and I've got a hunch he's in trouble, maybe he's broke.

- Not much.

You're forgetting a little matter of $5,000 he sold me for.

- Now, you listen to me.

I've been hiding a lie and it's time somebody came clean.

If Duke won't, I will.

- And I don't want to hear anything about -- - You're going to hear what I've got to say and it's all about him.

Duke Davis double crossed himself for you.

He wrote that $5,000 check and didn't take a dime from Marshall.

He thought he was standing in your way.

- Ella, we're not moving.

We're sending the trunks to Pennsylvania Station.

We're heading south.

(door buzzing) - There's the baggage masher.

Gosh, maybe I am a cyclist.

We were just talking about you.

- Well, am I invited in?

- Duke!

Duke, I just found out what you did for me.

- And I just found out what they did to you.

All I want is 15 minutes with that Fenton fellow.

- Forget him, Duke, you can't hurt him.

It wasn't his fault.

- Hurt him?

I'm going to do him good, and you're going to wow 'em at that Century Club.

Nothing can stop us now.

- And here's another bit of news from a local hot spot.

Ferdie Fenton, whose last Century Club show went sour on him, wasted no time in calling in a doctor, one Duke Davis.

A newcomer from the sticks.

The medicine is said to be new faces, novel ideas, and well, Ferdie, you're either a genius or a glutton for punishment.

Anyway, good luck with your new producer.

- Ladies and gentlemen.

It gives me great pleasure to announce the return to your thriving community of this famous attraction featuring the Bronze Nightingale.

On the inside folks, on the inside, a sight of a lifetime.

Guaranteed satisfaction or your money carefully refunded.

Come one, come all, come big, come small.

The big show, the free show.

The little ladies will pass among you with harmony and dances.

They will do you so much good.

(humming) ♪ Harlem ♪ Harlem ♪ Harlem is harmony ♪ Life is a rhapsody ♪ With a tune you can sing ♪ There's a song in everything ♪ Harlem is harmony ♪ Harlem is living good ♪ Don't have to knock on wood ♪ When you seem to be wrong ♪ Find a friendship in a song ♪ Harlem is harmony ♪ Have you got a little hole ♪ For an old banjo ♪ You can strum a little, hum a little as you go ♪ ♪ Be bad a du de daddy do today ♪ ♪ Have you got a little love ♪ You can spread around, spread around ♪ ♪ A little lead will help somebody way low down ♪ ♪ Bep de daddy do daddy do ♪ Harlem is harmony ♪ Love is the melody ♪ When my gal looks at me ♪ Gets my hallelujah key ♪ Harlem is harmony ♪ Harlem is harmony ♪ Harlem is harmony ♪ Harlem is harmony ♪ Harlem is harmony (peppy music) (feet tapping) (peppy music) (feet tapping) (peppy music) (feet tapping) (peppy music) (feet tapping) (peppy music) (feet tapping) (peppy music) (feet tapping) (peppy music) (feet tapping) (peppy music) (feet tapping) (peppy music) (feet tapping) (peppy music) (feet tapping) (peppy music) (audience applauding) (peppy music) (audience applauding) (guitar strumming) ♪ Cooks and buns have a night in a week ♪ ♪ To put their heads again cheek to cheek ♪ ♪ Well a black and tan's breaking high and low ♪ ♪ There's evening swing, boppity ♪ ♪ Things get good part happens, too ♪ ♪ Kick your heels together to the Suzie Q ♪ ♪ My heart, that's my night, sweet and blue ♪ ♪ There's the evening swing ♪ Hot band's playing Georgia swing ♪ ♪ Lord how they rhythm and rhyme ♪ ♪ Harlem set it up down to cold ♪ ♪ Swinging high a keeb a weybo ♪ Big shots doc breaking the bow ♪ ♪ Boo bats boy chuckin it down ♪ You see those cats they keep the gong around ♪ ♪ Thursday evening swing (scatting) ♪ Hot band's playing Georgia swing ♪ ♪ Lord how they really ride ♪ Harlem sends love down to gold ♪ ♪ Swingin' high and wide, a biddity webo ♪ ♪ Big shots and doctor, breaking them down ♪ ♪ Boo bats boy chuckin it down ♪ You see those cats, they keep the gong around ♪ ♪ Thursday be bop de be boppa de ba ♪ ♪ Thursday joo joo je be bop a do be ♪ ♪ Evening swing (audience applauding) (peppy music) (women screeching) (peppy music) (women screeching) (dramatic music) (sultry music) (hands clapping) (sultry music) (audience applauding) (calm music) (audience applauding) ♪ You and I have made a small beginning ♪ ♪ Don't know what our fate is going to be ♪ ♪ Chances are we'll get what we're deserving ♪ ♪ We will be the tops, just wait and see ♪ ♪ I know you remember all I've told you ♪ ♪ We'll see our dreams through ♪ You remember ♪ We'll work hard together while we're dreaming ♪ ♪ Our plans have meaning ♪ I know you remember - She certainly needed Duke.

- Yes, and he needed her.

♪ We'll have more than thee ♪ Don't care what people say ♪ We stay together ♪ You'll believe me, win or lose ♪ ♪ I'm with you ♪ My love is yours, too ♪ I know ♪ You'll remember (audience applauding) (upbeat music) (hands clapping) (upbeat music) (audience applauding) ♪ Don't care what people say ♪ We stay ♪ Together ♪ You remember, win or lose ♪ I'm with you ♪ My love is yours, too ♪ I know ♪ You remember (peppy music)