caring careers here.com providing connections to the lives of Aging motans by helping people discover careers in caregiving more information at caring carear here.com my life has changed um I was just a retired old lady before and uh now I have a new job and in yeah it's difficult at times but it's it's very [Music] rewarding hi I'm Melissa Fritz host of inside senior living as a senior living consultant during the covid pandemic and a daughter who lost her father to alzheimer's dementia my inspiration for this work comes from a deeply personal place I've seen firsthand the challenges family face when navigating the complexities of Aging over the years I've dedicated myself to equipping older adults and their families with the information and resources they need to make the best decisions whether that means receiving care in their own home or making a move to a senior living community and as we all age this need is only going to grow that's why we're on a mission to spark conversations support care caregivers provide valuable resources and promote a more age-friendly World meet Elanor and Deb a remarkable duel with an amazing story Elanor a proud member of the fondel band of ojibway shows us the depth of her courage as she manages diabetes and dementia while Deb has lovingly taken on the challenges a full-time caregiver my childhood when we lived downtown here in E Street it was pretty good but when we moved out to the country um it it it seemed to get so rough because my father was a drinker it wasn't until he was asked to leave you know um that it got better you know mother got a job at the hospital and uh she was good in guiding us as kids she was well respected in the community it was hard for us children because you know I didn't know it as then but I know it now there was discrimination you know against the kids it's like even in school we used to have free lunches so they'd have us on one side and the white CH children they were on the other side so they you know it got made fun of a lot mother she taught us a lot to to hold our head [Music] high I grew up in Northwestern Minnesota on a a dairy farm and we had other animals too we had pigs and horses and chickens for a while but um I had uh eight brothers and one sister so um it was it was a lot of fun growing up but we were we were very poor it was hard to make a a living farming at that time and uh but I have a lot of good memories of of growing up with that many siblings you always had somebody to play with you know one of course we worked hard we had a lot of chores we had to do before we could play but uh I think that made us all better adults learning good work ethic tell me about your relationship with elanar well we've known each other for a long time um and I'm committed to being her caregiver now I'm co-guardian and conservator of her now and that is a true friendship and not many people have that I've never had any type of caregiving other than I guess babysitting my younger brothers and sisters and my nieces nephews I didn't have any caregiving uh experience at all so it's kind of learn as you go you know as de said go a long way back you know I met her when I was a a counselor at at U Port Rehab in Del and um she would come in and like in the morning and Rel me and uh so we just got real real close and um you know and like I said when when things were happening I El her she'll take care of me you know and since then she she donees such a good job you know and she takes me to monthly dinners with Jess and then we go to bingo and now recently she's been taking me out to to the bear to play Kino I love Kino you know and uh so she makes she makes my life interesting and and it's it's quiet for me it's uh comforting and is it's it makes me happy as Eleanor's health concerns progress managing her care is more than one person can possibly do thankfully Deb's not alone Eleanor's granddaughter Jess has been a constant support taking on Home Maintenance and other care tasks but the quality time spent with her grandmother is what she really loves my grand daughter Jess I I've been with her since the moment she was born growing up I I lived here majority of the time my Grandma's done a lot for me when I was a kid and even now like she's my best friend and she always kept me going like she would push me forward to do my best and even then we we my grandma would take me to all sorts of places and she still wants to take me to those places so it's very nice that I have her in my life Jess is so very important to me you know it's like I'm glad I've had the opportunity to be with her for 32 years you know that's that's important you know and like I say she's my best friend my granddaughter and she goes with me you know I'm writing another poem about her and it's like um grandmother I have walked behind you for years until you stopped and said you know walk beside me I know that I pass along kindness you know being with the elders treating people good that's what she needs to know and and listen you know it's important to listen and I think I've taught her those things because I see her doing that now at a different way with taking care of the elders you know that's important to her and she enjoys that you know so yeah yeah makes me feel special you know my grandma means everything to me Jess's relationship with her grandmother has been a constant source of strength but like many families they're also confronting serious health challenges with Elanor facing both diabetes and dementia these conditions have not only shaped her life but also Deb's role as her primary caregiver but when I first learned I had di I was diabetic I um that was hard for me I was 42 I believe and uh and I remember I was so scared when they said you're going to need insulin I remember so scared to give myself a shot and um I called my sister Marilyn and I said sis I said I'm scared to give my shot s a shot she I'll come down and give it to you so she came down she said this is what you do man you know she filled it up and just hit me with it and she's okay I'll see you later that was it my training so slowly but surely I learned how to give myself a shot an area where we're doubling down is the type two diabetes specifically diabetes prevention we one of the programs that we offer is the CDC diabetes prevention program and that is already a Medicare benefit and in Minnesota it's a Medicaid benefit as well so it's free for people who are eligible to access and so we're very excited to be working to make that more widely available in the community because there's so much that can be done in that pre-diabetes stage to help delay or prevent the onset of type 2 diabetes which truly changes the trajectory of someone's entire life one suggestion related to that is to don't feel overwhelmed making all the changes at once one of the things that we practice in our living well with diabetes class is action planning just one small change a week so something that you feel at least a seven out of 10 confidence scale that you can do making that one small change a week just to build confidence that yes I can make these changes and this isn't overwhelming and I don't have to change everything I eat all at once I can focus on first just shifting to healthier snacks so instead of eating um you know having ice cream when I watch TV every night switching to maybe instead having um some carrots and hummus four out of the seven nights of the week I can still have ice cream three nights a week but four out of the seven I'm having my carrots and hummus so a small more manageable change because otherwise it can just be so overwhelming that people can have what you might call analysis paralysis and freeze and might have a hard time making any changes I would say the biggest Trends in Native American Health top one being Diabetes Care I think that's such a huge concern from like a public health perspective that we figure out you know what is causing the high rates of diabetes uh and I think from a per researcher perspective you know there's the conversations that diabetes may lead to dementia and so there's like this big concern that we can have a big wave of dementia diagnosis in 5 10 [Music] years when the diagnosis first came it was uh it was hard it was very hard um because dementia is pretty pretty much there's no cure and it's not going to get any better but uh and I tried to read and study a little bit about it but it's like okay just enjoy the moment and just try to deal with it just a day at a time because it's I for me it would it's too depressing to think way down the road it just stay in the moment and enjoy enjoy what you can today managing health challenges is no small task but elanar and Deb reached out to their local community and found the lifeline they both needed some of the biggest challenges for caregivers are finding resources and rasit Care is one of the main ones that we try to to assist them with um respit is really the key to being able to caregive for a longer period of time and rid care is taking a break taking a break from daily caregiving um another thing that we're finding is a lack of Home Care staff private hire Staff Agency staff um staff and nursing homes so there are limitations on who's available to help them um another big thing is financial strains the cost of care outside of the home is rising constantly so our goal with this caregiver support program is to be able to help them remain at home as long as possible and maximize the home care support that I can help them find sometimes it's very creative it might be a neighbor a friend or deep into the family as far as um grandchildren even that have helped I needed to uh make an appointment and so I asked her grandson Evan to come and sit with with her and um I was only gone like an hour or so but when uh after it was over Elanor said how good he was and it like he stood by the bathroom door and um she was in the bathroom and got her coffee and just really was such a good caregiver so uh after that I started now usually on every Saturday I'll go pick him up and he comes to down for four hours and he takes care of his grandma and you can tell that really helps him in his self-esteem and they watch TV together and he makes her lunch and and it's such a good connection with those two oh and he helps her with her insulin and um you know and that makes him feel so good and it helps me out and it's a good connection for Eleanor too it's fun to be with him because with heav because he's also very very important to me I know he's young but he's so nice to have around because he talks to me and I'll say what do you want to watch well what do you want to watch and I'll say oh watch your program that ridiculous or whatever it is and we'll sit here and laugh you know CU it's so dumb you know yeah I would say intergenerational relationships are a trend in indigenous communities you know growing up we spent a lot of time with our elders whether it was helping just around the house whether it's just visiting uh so that was I think a big part of most indigenous communities I would say a lot of also other cultural groups too um and I think you know we're noticing these intergenerational relationships shifting you know I think again the pandemic and technology has really helped communities think about innovative ways to bring Generations together uh and so it's kind of exciting to see not only young people teaching older adults how to use technology but the older adults embracing technology as well and using Facebook or video games to connect with younger people that 10 years ago we probably wouldn't have done I uh text 36 people every night from the 24hour book I tape that out you know text it out and if I miss they contact de what's wrong with them so it's important to them my nephew and red clip Wisconsin you know he's been texting me cuz I haven't text anybody this week but they've been texting me you know with strong healthy comments healthy so that's my texting caregivers like Deb need the time to recharge programs like Daybreak in the memory Cafe offer a respit while also helping Eleanor stay engag engaged and connected then Daybreak opened up again after covid and uh that's been very helpful for me as a caregiver cuz when she go when elanar goes to Daybreak then I have four hours to myself to just relax and run errands but mostly relax so Daybreak group respit has been around well as long as I've been here 22 years and that is designed to give the caregiver a break so the caregiver d s off their loved one for 4 hours and they can go and Shop or go out to lunch or go do whatever they'd like to do how much time do you spend out here is this kind of your uh as much as I can it's uh relaxing mhm it's therapy even to pull weeds yes yes kind of forget about life's trials and just come out and watch them grow this is a nice size property and you maintain this all on your own yes but in the summer the the reservation sends kids to mole oh nice so you're getting some good supports from the reservation that's they are very helpful well that's allowing you and Eleanor to stay in your home longer yes and in the winter they come and make sure the handicap ramp is shoveled almost as soon as it stops snowing they are out here wow and then another thing they have is memory Cafe uh every Wednesday day and that's for 2 hours and we and I go with her for that and that's uh that's nice I enjoy it and you know everybody there is on the same page so you don't have to worry about you just don't have to worry nobody's going to judge you there it's just it and for me it's relaxing and we do different stuff memory cafes are technically a support group but um we wanted something that people could come to on a regular basis many of them are only once a month we decide to do it weekly we decideed to have a meal with it because there's good conversation that happens around food and we wanted there's a lot of socialization after the pandemic so we wanted people to get to know each other and a testament to that is we've got some caregivers that are coming even after their spouse has been placed in memory care or has passed away and they're still coming here and they can come for a year and then after that if they want to still come we can maybe have them be volunteers if they're interested in that um there's a lot of different Avenues we can keep them with us but they say I'm going out kicking and screaming I'm never going to leave dementia support groups not only provide social connections but Foster creativity that's where Eleanor was inspired to become an artist as a way to express herself despite having memory challenges the the dimension the Arts we highlight the artwork because people think well my mom couldn't do that well you know what maybe she couldn't before for because her ego got in the way cuz she was worried what you were going to say and now she doesn't care through this support group you know I've learned all these new things where I just thought I don't want to try that cuz I'll make it dumb you know but now it's it's beautiful what I've been doing yeah and so the freedom is there and people can learn but we've been told people can't learn there are certain things that they can and certain things they can't you know music and the Arts is the last to go so we really we should be prescribing those things I never did I never thought I could paint or or even color or anything like that and when I went to Daybreak Carrie was so important she's such a important lady to me cuz uh she told me that there's no right or wrong did I'm just so comfortable when I do that even the leaves you know we did leaves at Daybreak one day and everybody said well I used to do that I said where are they I don't know so I came home and I thought about and I thought I know where they're going to be I'm going to put them in pictures and like I say since then I've given them about 20 20 sets away just for Christmas or from people who saw it so I made it for them and each has their own to me this picture that little leaf yes that's important to say where they came from they come in small and they grow big things like that has helped me grow you know and I feel so much stronger in my mind for doing yeah creativity is important in managing dementia and Eleanor's Native American Heritage offers a unique perspective on Aging earlier I had a discussion with um a native med student at the University about what aging is in our communities and she described this beautiful process that I have never been able to put words to aging with Grace aging with power on how Western Society sees it as being weak you're becoming brittle um but that's not how Native communities see that um we honor our elders we respect them we learn from them I would say the topic of aging and the communities we work with is embraced because that's something you know aging is a gift that not everyone gets to have you know becoming an elder is not given to everyone um growing older you know not everyone gets to grow older uh and so through our work it's something that you know when we're working with older adults who who've been nominated as an elder for This research we're doing some of them most of them I'd say are very surprised that that's how their Community views them uh only because they're very humble and they said well I have so much more to learn I don't think I'm an elder yet even though they may be like 90 years old um and so I think it's very a it's a conversation that happens a lot because I think they want the younger people to be aware that it's okay to talk about it and to get them to start thinking about what does it look like to age in a good way even when you're 10 or 11 right like think about making those decisions now those Health behaviors you should be doing like stay active and eat your native foods or stay away from things you shouldn't be doing so yeah through all the changes and challenges Elanor and Deb emphasized the importance of living one day at a time I find with caregiving you never know what's going to happen that day and you better learn how to Pivot and just suck it up and move on and that's and that's some days it isn't it isn't very easy other days you know and I I've learned to appreciate the days that everything runs smooth and uh and just go one day at a time I do know that I you know I forget things and you know you know I'll say well I can't remember that and I me I know that's happening but you know that's part of God's work too you know not that I get it but that that's in my life you know and I've just gotten to the point where you know I I don't want to fight about anything report of about anything you know that's all in the past whatever that road I on on my journey that's something that I can accept day by day you know and I and I I I believe looking at that way gives me peace Serenity um and calmness yeah Elanor and Deb show us the strength that comes from Friendship culture and community support their story highlights the importance of embracing our experiences as we Face the challenges of Aging join us next week as we meet David and Deb a couple facing the difficult diagnosis of early onset Alzheimer's their love and commitment to each other is sure to inspire us [Music] all production of inside Senior Living is made possible by Elder Mark Senior Living software helmouth and Johnson Lotus Pharmacy and kickernick gallery [Music]