From the Alvin and Rosalie Sara Check studio PBS Kansas presents Empowering Seniors Welcome to empowering Seniors I'm your host Katherine Ambrose And right now we're celebrating our 100th episode Empowering seniors is based on a seminar series that I started at Botanica our local botanical gardens in Wichita Kansas That seminar started January of 2019 and still goes on today Eight years in This show was inspired by the seminar series and I have to tell you I was shocked to be called in by PBS and asked if I would do a television show You see I'd always been in real estate all my life and I decided I wanted to help older homeowners figure out what to do and that I would learn along with them by interviewing people on aging topics And it's turned into this wonderful program And now we've inspired a national show called Aging Untold But it all started right here in Wichita Kansas with the seminar series your host Katherine Ambrose Today we're in for a treat because you're going to get to meet some of the attendees that come to Botanica to the Empowered Senior Seminar series And we kicked off 2020 by talking about the future how to focus and figure out what it is we want in our lives and how to get it We need to focus on the next place we're going to not what we're leaving behind but what we're going to do in the future And I think the whole seminar is about that The whole series is about And the truth is that it's not easy but the idea is to make it easier I just love the fact that she is as she talked about learning to live a long time and how we can move forward and be finished and have that knowledge as we go on our journey You know and it's a little different in the second and third phase of life I think we're certainly less inhibited when we're among our peers I taught public school for nine years and one thing that we always found out is that if we had people in a group of their peers they were more likely to ask the hard questions And not to be as embarrassed So the seminars are super fun but with the television program we get to meet you right where you are in your home And speaking of home we've covered a lot of topics about aging in place What comes next?

Getting organized clutter all of that And one of our special guests was Dana Kay White who in my mind is one of the top experts in the United States She came to Kansas to be on the show to talk about her book decluttering at the Speed of Life and she gave us really easy tips to get our homes in order So let's remember what Dana K white said I finally gave in and said yes I will teach it And I realized there was value in me teaching decluttering from the perspective of someone to whom this does not come naturally because the the dirty little secret about most organizing advice is that it's written by organized people right?

And their brains work very differently from my brain As someone who held on to all of my stuff who saw value in everything So someone would say well that's not valuable And I could give you all the reasons why it was valuable why I might use it one day And so I couldn't use those methods So Dana what is the one place where someone should start that will have the biggest impact starting their journey?

Well I talked before about visible spaces I call this the visibility rule Go to your front door or wherever guests would enter your home and stand at the front door as if you are a guest and see what you see and start decluttering there Because what's going to happen is if you will declutter in that space every time you walk by it right now you might not really notice or register the mess that might be seen from your front door but once it's gone you will notice every time you walk by that it looks better and you're going to go that looks okay and it will increase and perpetuate your decluttering energy instead of decluttering somewhere else and then still being embarrassed to open the front door and then feeling of what was the point of me decluttering right?

So doing that is going to have the impact that will help perpetuate that decluttering energy and keep it going Build the momentum we all want That was a great show Now I'm going to let you in on a little insider secret In the early days we didn't have a set to do the television program on So we borrowed model homes and public spaces We also had very little in terms of remote equipment And what we did have was a lot of ideas and a lot of ambition And we were thrilled when the AARP spokesperson and author Amy Goyer came to Wichita to be on our show is really targeting family caregivers and older adults who think that they may need some help in the future It's really a good book to read so that you are prepared for the future And and case you're going to need help some at some point And it might be you're caring for a spouse or your grandparents or your grandchildren and you know you don't know what your situation is but try to get a feel for those things And I cover how do you assess this situation?

How do you deal with health care and legal issues and financial issues?

What I find is that you know the waves are going to come along and they're going to knock you over Sometimes you're going to get sick or you're going to have an injury or your loved one is going to have a downside whatever it is And the thing that I realized that being successful as a caregiver caring for others caring for myself it doesn't mean never falling down It doesn't mean that those waves can't knock you down because they will Sometimes they'll take you to your knees but you get back up And I had to reframe for myself Success and success is being resilient It's just getting back up and walking alongside your loved ones and being there for each other And that is success in life So just learn to ride those waves and you know life is good overall That was an early feather in our cap Getting Amy here to be on the show I was so excited because she'd been on all kinds of national programs But here's another insider secret Amy heard the lawnmower guy going back and forth the whole time we were taping that And she said are you sure that's not going to be a problem?

We were using an intern that day for the camera and he lists and he said I don't think that's going to be a problem Well guess what?

It was But we made it through and we have all these fun stories We've talked a lot about relationships including dating and romance scams Early on we had Wichita State maven Susanna mathews talk to us about how to really start in real life conversations and relationships my pleasure Give us a couple of your best tips for improving or expanding your relationships Well I'll tell you when I work with clients one of the first things we talk about is I use the word mindset and sometimes that's a new or unfamiliar term to people But it really has to do with how you look at the world your attitude and kind of how you show up in the world And so if a person can adopt a mindset that just sort of allows their energy to be open and warm and welcoming then they're just setting themselves up for success And it's less about where do I go and what do I do?

That's really putting the cart ahead of the horse It's about adopting that mindset that's going to facilitate those new connections And so one of the things that sometimes I'll say is all right instead of thinking about what is the other person have to offer me the what's in it for me question Think about what do you have to offer them and how can you just kind of show up and make them smile or make their day or be of service to them in some way?

And most recently we had two women on that talked about love bombers and romance scams And we've learned through our research and also meeting actual victims that it can happen to anyone And why is that?

How is it that it can happen to anyone and that people can be surprised that they might fall for it when they think they are maybe immune to it?

I think it has to do with the time of life the situation you find yourself in If you are a senior woman who is a widow who is trying to start a business online who has a profile on Facebook or Instagram that shows a certain level of wealth shows a certain level of resources You're going to be profiled by scammers and people don't understand just how organized those scammers are You're scaring me Seriously?

But we're Who do you think this person really was?

Did you find out?

Yes I did after talking to him from April until Well in fact just today he tried to contact me but Oh yeah Well we're in the studio even though I've blocked him a number of times but it turned out he let me He revealed himself he was a gentleman from Lagos Nigeria Mary So you mentioned love bombing And that is exactly what Sharon experienced So tell us what that means Well love bombing is a series of texts or just affectionate gestures It might be photographs it might be a little heart and it might And and the text underneath might say something like you're really getting under my skin I think I'm in love with you I want you to take very good care of yourself today so that when we finally meet in person we can share our love forever Wow That's one example right off the top of my head Every time I think about those two and the name of their book the scammer who love me it just cracks me up It's so creative And those two are on a mission to make an impact And speaking about impact we love to talk about fitness And early on we talked to Rebecca at Club Hope at how important fitness is Has we age?

How does fitness help keep people safer in their homes?

One of the things we tend to lose when we do lose naturally is our balance and our strength our bone density These are all things that science has proven happens if we exercise or do some light lifting What that does is that increases those working on balance improves balance It's something balance is something that you have to continue to work at But as long as you continue to work at it it will be better And I will have people who've worked with me and six months later like oh my balance is terrible but they may be able to stand on one like three seconds versus one second So what that does is it allows us to be more agile when we're moving around our houses When we do our modified fitness class we work on going side to side We work a little bit on going backward forwards Those are motions that we typically don't do So the hope is that if you trip or stumble you'll have the reflex to catch yourself What are some of the motivations for your participants that come in?

I think there's probably a few answers to that Being in community with others secondary is fitness even though we're a fitness club and that's going to be the goal of everybody the group environment They learn so much from each other because they can relate Rebecca and everyone at club Hope with so much fun Now we've really prided ourselves on special tips from national experts and one of our favorites was Bob Batchelor of Flying Angels He came in to talk about medical transport and how you can get injured loved ones from across the country and in fact across the world who needs medical needs and needs to get long distances rather than flying on an expensive air ambulance can fly on a regularly scheduled commercial airline with a flight nurse sitting right next to them Our services bedside the bedside so somebody can tell us hey my mom is in Wichita Kansas and she's at her home and we want them moved to a senior living facility in Orlando Florida or anywhere else in the country And we pretty much do everything bedside the bedside We will go pick up mom at our facility take her to the airport fly with her first class get her in Orlando and then take her where she needs to go Another fabulous guest was Ray Wills a former Broadway star who now spends some of his time encouraging people to write their story That there's a storyteller in all of us And at any age It really is It's it's we call it a class but it's a group And some people like to write stories Some people like to tell their stories Some people like to come and just listen Everybody has a story to tell and they deserve to be heard And these folks have a lot of stories They've lived full interesting lives I think I can read that So here's Bob's story He doesn't have a title yet Carl Davis just turned 18 and graduated from high school He lived on a farm outside of Odessa Texas and for the last two years played guitar and sang with the local country band He dreamed of bigger things as he wanted to be a country star He'd saved up some money and his old van was in good running condition So he left his family and the next stop would be Dallas The money was good and Carl said yes This one year lasted three And after about one year Carl started dating one of the girls oh who worked at the front door This That's getting good down Another important topic that we love to cover on empowering seniors is mental health And early on in season two we had Eric Wyler with the local mental health association recognition mathematically just in the city of Wichita And I'm not even talking about the Wichita metro area I'm talking about the city of Wichita We know every single year there are 100000 people in Wichita with a diagnosable mental health concern What we need is for those people to be willing to raise their hand and say the heck with the stigma I need help Of those hundred thousand In a given year maybe about 40000 will actually be willing to to get that help But that means in the city alone there are 60000 people with a diagnosable mental health concern who are not seeking who are not receiving treatment So first and foremost they have to look for signs either in their friends their loved ones or themselves and be willing to raise their hand and acknowledge regardless of the stigma that yes I need help and I'm willing to make steps to make that happen Along with mental health we've also talked about dealing with loss and loneliness In the same season we talked to Michelle about pet companionship Anyone who has a pet knows that pets make our lives better more rich full And when you look at statistics on how it benefits seniors it's even more so Like there are so many ways So physically our our health is improved by having pets If you have a dog you know you have to go outside You have to walk them You have to have activity They give you a sense of being needed that you know you need You need to be there for them You need to try to make yourself healthier so that you can be there for them another part of taking care of ourselves as we age is personal safety And we had Josh Lacey a real life detective and star of 48 hours here to talk about that know so many people watching are saying I can't live like that You don't have to live like that You don't have to live in fear You don't have to bar your windows up You really don't I want the audience to understand that if you just take a couple of seconds to be a little extra aware not a little extra scared that you're afraid to go out of your own home just a little extra aware of your surroundings No matter what you're doing no matter where you're going you're going to be a lot safer a lot lot safer than the person that's thinking well you know I'm too busy to worry about who's watching me or what I'm doing because I'm telling you I'm a voice of experience What?

I didn't pay attention What I wasn't aware That's when I got hurt That was great information Also surprising information to me was what we learned from John a financial gerontologist that visited from New York And he's a research specialist with MetLife people don't talk about money No matter how much money they have or don't have It's just not something that people talk about Why is it important to maybe consider changing your mind on that?

Well I mean I tell people if you had a tumor on your brain would you do your own brain surgery?

And the answer is usually no And it's exactly the same reason why you want to have trusted professionals to work with you and to provide you with guidance about it In fact you know the less resources that there are the more important the need is for that because the the the paucity of resources they account for a much larger proportion of what of what's there in general So you really need to be have a plan to be able to conserve that and and use it in the best way possible so that you're serving the needs of whoever needs it most at that point So In season three we had another national guest Ido Walney who's a specialist in helping you prepare for getting your affairs in order He shared some memorable stories about celebrities that learned the hard way about probate You know Michael Jackson had a very simple estate for someone of his celebrity He had three children Those three children were unique individuals in their own right And instead of having assets held in trust for them there were distribution very young distribution ages where his three children got those assets which one could argue were not wise for both an asset protection perspective or for a mental health perspective A lot of assets in Michael Jackson's estate were not properly titled into his trust And so even though some trust documents were drawn up you don't have the efficiencies of avoiding probate And so notwithstanding a trust I can still look up a lot of the assets that he had because it was still done publicly A really really interesting and unique estate We've had some amazing national guests but in season five we had our first international guest Lewis Hornby the inventor of jelly drops jelly look so essentially 95% water The sugar free treats design support hydration like you said primarily for people living with dementia But also many other people benefit from them People with autism learning difficulties perhaps a whole host of reasons why people may struggle with dehydration And in addition to the nice 5% water they've got other electrolytes which help boost the hydration and vitamins to support overall health too So when you have a phone engaging way for people to independently support their own hydration needs Health and wellness will always be a mainstay in terms of topics for empowering seniors and we've had a slew of amazing medical professionals on this show including Doctor Tim Watt from season one So all the steps you can take to decrease inflammation slows the progression of these diseases Sugar is a terrible culprit and the more you can eliminate sugar from your diet the better And by sugar I don't just mean table sugar I mean all simple processed carbohydrates white potatoes rice virtually all grains They're absorbed very rapidly in your body It shoots your blood sugar up And that causes you over time to get sick And again the kicker is over time if the first time you ate trans fats you had crushing chest pain and fell to the floor it would be easy to convince people don't eat trans fats right?

The problem is the slow accumulation of damage over the years like the water eroding the Grand Canyon is what produces the problem It's been such an honor talking to physicians on this show And you may have noticed the transformation that I've been going through My own health journey has been impacted in a positive way thanks to empowering seniors We've even traveled for medical stories We went to CU Medical Center to talk to Doctor Kenneth Burns about dementia research and surprised us We were the first media allowed into the building so that was super cool are really good at recognizing the early changes of Alzheimer's and making making an accurate diagnosis Just in the last decade we've really moved forward in the field of what we call biomarkers where we're able to now look at even in the blood and began to see change you know a review measures that reflect whether or not somebody has specifically Alzheimer's disease So the field of the diagnosis of Alzheimer's and other disorders has really accelerated in the last decade And so We also had Sam Craddock visit us from California to talk about caregiving And on that episode my daughter Jillian and my unborn granddaughter at the time made an appearance as well put a Band-Aid on the tissue There you go cap And And so I want you to take the Band-Aid off So you you're you're wounds healed up I just want you to take that Band-Aid off that skin there for a minute All right so we're all healed up We're we're we're healed up We just got to get the Band-Aid off You just Oh God Grandma No!

Yes Oh And so I have seen some of the worst skin terrors come from this Unknowingly Oh this is awful right?

And so if you think about yourself as you've aged as a tissue and just how easy you can tear it and how easy it damages Another national expert on caregiving was here recently Doctor Tam Cummings And we discussed the untangling of Alzheimer's And what does that mean untangling Alzheimer's You know we thought it was a clever way to help people realize that the tangles that happened in Alzheimer's or in the other dementias are happening because the brain cell is dying and the tangle itself is the tangle of the roots as they begin to shrivel up and die And that was the idea for the book And people at that time were hearing Alzheimer's It has tangles and plaques And when you look at it on a slide the plaque is actually bone plaque and it's a dark grayish blue And the tangles tend to be a slightly different color So you can see distinct differences in them And it looks just like a tangled up If you took a bunch of threads and pulled it apart and then just rubbed it and tangled it up it literally they look like that And back in season four we had Tempest Snow here a world renowned expert on dementia And she came and delivered Johnny I have a question for you All right Do you like looking outside?

Yes I do What do you see in there?

There's some good Yes I do Yeah A car or something else?

If you were going on a car ride Oh I would go You would go How are you girl?

Would you go with me?

I'm sure I'm sure you would Where would we go?

On the interstate Or on a good old country road?

Yeah Yeah I bet we could find us a Coca-Cola if we went on a good old country road Oh so do I bet your ride That moment with Johnny was the most magical moment of my media career so far Really made a huge impression on me to watch Teresa kind of bring her out from a very quiet state She hadn't spoken in six months And then to watch her really interact with Tipa was just absolutely magical Thanks for traveling down memory lane with me It has been such an honor and such a joy to produce over 100 episodes on empowering seniors and we have had the most amazing guest Far more than what we were able to show in this episode And they have all been so generous and so giving working to help empower us And most of all we appreciate you for watching for commenting for sharing and for reaching out to us with story ideas which you can still do because we're on to our next 100 Our email address is EmpoweringSeniors@kpts.org I'm Katherine Ambrose and I'll see you on the next Empowering Seniors