Would I Lie To You?
Episode 12: At Christmas
Season 14 Episode 12 | 28m 53sVideo has Closed Captions
A special festive edition of the show.
Rob Brydon hosts a special festive edition of the show. Team captains David Mitchell and Lee Mack are joined by guests Richard Osman, Tom Courtenay, Sara Pascoe and Chris Kamara.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
Would I Lie To You? is a local public television program presented by WETA
Would I Lie To You?
Episode 12: At Christmas
Season 14 Episode 12 | 28m 53sVideo has Closed Captions
Rob Brydon hosts a special festive edition of the show. Team captains David Mitchell and Lee Mack are joined by guests Richard Osman, Tom Courtenay, Sara Pascoe and Chris Kamara.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
Where to Watch Would I Lie To You?
Would I Lie To You? is available to stream on pbs.org and the PBS app.
(energized festive music) (music continues) (audience cheering) (bells ringing) - Good evening and welcome to, Would I Lie To You at Christmas?
A very special edition filled with festive fibs.
On Lee Mack's team tonight, a comedian and actor who has played a social worker and a nurse.
So please, stand outside your front door and clap.
For Jo Brand!
(audience cheering) And an ex-EastEnders star who loves a traditional Christmas day where he gets run over, his wife has an affair, and the Queen Vic burns to the ground, it's Joe Swash!
(audience cheering) And, on David Mitchell team tonight, a comedian and host of the show Travel Man, or as it was renamed for 2020, Staying in the House Man, it's Joe Lycett.
(audience cheering) And a talented and versatile actor who, tonight, is taking on her toughest role yet.
Pretending to be happy being on David's team.
It's Ruth Madeley!
(audience cheering) We begin with Round One, Home Truths, where our panelists read out a statement from the card in front of them.
Now, to make things harder, they've never seen the card before.
They have no idea what they'll be faced with.
It's up to the opposing team to sort the fact from the fiction.
Joe Lycett is first tonight.
- Oh, yes, okay.
- [LEE] I once had a fight with a flamingo and won.
(audience laughing) - Last Christmas, the biggest family row in the Lycett household was over how many doof-doofs there are in the EastEnders closing theme tune.
- [RUTH] Oh.
- Lee Mack's team.
- So you mean the bit just before the music starts?
The, I think?
I mean, obviously you know.
You were in EastEnders.
- Yeah, but I never actually got myself a doof-doof.
- Oh no!
- I was there for six years, no doof-doof.
- You never had a doof-doof?
- I did, I had one doof-doof.
And Wendy Richards was in it.
And then, when they took it to the edit, they zoomed in on her and cut me outta the doof-doof.
(audience laughing) How many doof-doofs did your family decide there were?
- So, it was a generational gap.
- [JOE] Yes.
- So me and my sister thought there were eight.
Because there are eight.
(Ruth laughing) My parents thought there were seven.
- [Rob] Give us your eight.
Doof-doof doof-doof doof-doof doof-doof - Oh, well, I think you're wrong.
- [DAVID] Sorry, excuse me, though.
No, no, that can't be.
That's not how many doof-doofs there are.
- [JO] Yes.
- That's how many doofs there are!
If the unit is doof-doof, (audience laughing) then there are four!
(audience applauding) - He does have a point, you know.
- [LEE] That is why David has never been invited to someone's house for Christmas.
(audience laughing) - [JOE] I think you stuck too many doofs in there.
- [LEE] Go on, you do it.
- Doof!
Doof!
Doof, doof, doof.
(singing the EastEnders theme) - [RUTH] No!
- No, no, no.
- [LEE] That's not it.
- You were in the show!
(audience laughing) - Did you, at the end of the night, find out exactly how many doof-doofs there were or did you just leave it, "We're right, you're wrong?"
- Yeah, basically, we didn't rewind, we went on to something else.
- [JOE] So we don't actually know right now with our eight.
- Well we do, there's eight.
It is eight.
- [JOE] Well, you, you haven't really checked it, have ya?
- Yeah, I have!
- You have checked it?
- But you didn't check it at the time.
- Because I've watched EastEnders and I know.
- [JOE] But I've watched EastEnders, but I don't ever count.
- I don't think you have!
Personally.
(audience laughing) - [JO] I think there's only three, 'cause I think the fast ones at the end aren't doof-doofs, they're something else.
- [RUTH] Oh!
(Joe Lycett clicking tongue) - I'm sort of with Jo.
I think it's probably two, to two and a half doof-doofs or four to five doofs.
- What's a half doof?
- Doof, doof, doof, doof.
- The nature of the noise changes such that can no longer be labeled either a doof or a half doof-doof.
- [JO] Agreed.
(audience cheering) - [ROB] So, yes, yes.
With, bearing that in mind, and knowing your love for music, give us your rendition, then, of the end drum.
- Now, I feel that would be.
I would, I'd be humiliated.
- Would you like me to give you a lead in a dramatic moment?
- No, thank you.
(audience laughing) Alright.
This is Elsie who works in a laundry.
- Who's Elsie?
She was never in the EastEnders.
- She's a character that I've created.
- Well, what about Dot Cotton?
Can't you do her?
- Yeah, you look a bit like Dot Cotton!
- You do a bit!
- [JOE SWASH] You've got!
You've definitely got!
(audience laughing) You've got that Cotton look!
That longness!
(Joe Lycett laughing) - Are you ready?
- Yeah, I'm gonna try it.
- Oh.
(audience laughing) - Oh.
- [LEE] I feel like that's Mick Jagger you're doin' there!
- Here!
I dunno what's happened in my laundry.
It's gone somewhere.
(audience laughing) (audience applauding) - Doof, doof, doof, doof, doof, do-do-doof, doof, doof.
- [JO] See?
- [ROB] Alright.
What are you thinking?
- Well, that sounds like the washing machine's broken.
- [ROB] Yeah.
(audience laughing) - See, I think after about five minutes, I would've just gone to the.
Gone to the YouTube and had a little look on there.
I think he's lyin'.
- [JO] I always like to go counterintuitive, so I'm gonna say I think he's lying as well.
- [LEE] Okay.
I'm gonna have to say lie.
- [ROB] You're gonna have to say lie.
Okay, Joe Lycett?
Truth or lie?
- It's a lie.
(tone dinging) - Oh!
(audience applauding) - [ROB] And Joe Swash, there's a treat for you 'cause you said you've never had a doof-doof.
We're gonna give you one tonight.
Whatever you wanna say, something dramatic, and it's gonna come in.
It's gonna happen.
- And, trust me, it doesn't matter what you say, 'cause we're all just gonna be counting.
(audience laughing) - Okay, Joe, here we go.
- Is it my baby?
(EastEnders theme playing) Oh, there's nine!
Ten!
- Nine!
- [JOE] It's ten, mate!
- It's nine.
- It's nine, it's nine.
- [JOE LYCETT] There was nine in there.
- Oh!
- Joe Swash, you're next.
- Okay.
One Christmas, I accidentally put the wrong address in my mum's satnav and, instead of driving to Lakeside, she drove all the way to the Lake District.
(audience laughing) - [ROB] Hey, David's team.
- Geographically, where was the starting point?
- Well.
Well, London, yeah.
It was a long time ago.
It was when the satnav, remember it was called TomTom?
The one?
- [LEE] Actually, it wasn't called TomTom.
- What was it called?
- It was called Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom-Tom Tom-Tom.
(audience laughing) (audience applauding) (Ruth laughing) - And so, I've always had slight dyslexia as a kid.
So, I sort of.
- Oh, so maybe it wasn't a TomTom.
Maybe it was your M-O-T.
(audience laughing) - Good thing.
Good thing, yeah.
(Joe Lycett laughing) I think I just put it in wrong, and.
- [DAVID] Well, yes.
- [RUTH] Then it sounds like, - Well, obviously, that's not a detailed explanation of what went awry.
- What would you like to know?
- What did you do?
Type in the word Lakeside?
- I stuck in L-A, put in the first couple of letters, and then it predicts the word for you.
- You put L-A in, your mother drove off towards Los Angeles - [JOE SWASH] No!
- [DAVID] And you went "Stop, stop!"
And you saved it with a K.
- Yes!
- And then you said, right, fine, that's fine.
There can't be more than one place being L-A-K, It finished Lake Windermere, off she drove.
- No, what I would.
I must have put in the lake, and then it filled the rest in, and I must have pressed.
Just pressed Lake District, taking for granted that.
- [ROB] And you are saying, with a straight face, that your mum?
Was it just your mother?
- No, it went my mum, it was my mum, and her next door neighbor, Debbie.
- Right.
- They just kept driving until it got dark.
(audience laughing) And then, what my mom said was, is that they got so scared because it was just them two in the car and they didn't know where they were going.
My mum doesn't know how to do the satnav and all that business.
That they thought it would be safer just to continue to where they were going and then just work out what to do the next day, so they went to the Lake District.
- [RUTH] They arrived?
In the Lake District?
- Yes.
It took 'em like six hours.
- [RUTH] In the dark?
- Yeah.
- [ROB] It took what?
Six hours?
- [JOE SWASH] Yeah.
They took some wrong turns.
So they had to get a hotel and stay in the lake.
- No.
- I swear!
I'm telling ya.
- Say, we've been doin' this show for many years, and Rob has never in the middle of it gone, "No."
(audience laughing) - [JOE SWASH] So, after about three hours in, they've got so far that they weren't gonna come back in the same day.
They were gonna continue and stay where they were.
- Yeah.
- They, Debbie phoned her husband, which I think they should have done a lot earlier.
Because he's a cab driver!
(David laughing) - [DAVID] Even if he wasn't.
It would make sense, really, to make contact.
- [ROB] So what do they do Joe?
Did they stay over, then?
- [JOE SWASH] They stayed over.
They.
- [ROB] And then what?
- I got a phone call.
- [ROB] Well, yeah.
- They were fuming.
- They must've been livid!
- [JOE SWASH] The thing was, like that, my mum didn't know where anything was.
She didn't know how to get to the places, so.
She would follow that satnav regardless whether it took her into the sea.
She'd be in the sea.
She'd follow it, so she.
- And yet you put the destination in with such little care.
(Joe Lycett laughing) - I just didn't think I was gonna, honestly.
When she told me, even I was surprised.
(audience laughing) - Even you didn't believe.
- I asked her the same questions as you asked, like.
Why didn't you come home?
Why did you stay?
None of it made sense to me either, but the one thing she said was is that they were very scared, they didn't know where they were going, so they just kept on following the blue line to the end of the destination.
(David laughing) (audience laughing) And then, in the morning they worked out.
They, I think they asked someone in the hotel they had to stay in, and then the fella reprogrammed it to come back to London the next day.
(audience laughing) - [ROB] Joe Lycett.
What are you thinking?
- I think it might be true.
I can see real hurt in him.
- [JO] Mm.
- [RUTH] It's doable!
It is doable with the dyslexia thing.
- [DAVID] Yeah.
- If it's a lie, and you pick up that card, you're not gonna follow through on "Yes, they discovered halfway through the journey that they were heading to totally the wrong place, but decided that the thing to do was to follow through on the entire journey."
It's more plausible that it happened- - [ROB] Right.
- -than that Joe invented that just now.
- Basically, David said there's more chance your mother's stupid than you are creative.
(audience laughing) - [JOE SWASH] He did, he did!
- Exactly what he just said.
(audience applauding) - I think we think true.
I think we think true.
- [ROB] Think it's true- - Yeah.
- -that they drove all that way?
Joe Swash, was it true or was it a lie?
- Yeah, it happened, yeah.
(tone dinging) - [RUTH] Hey!
Oh my God!
(audience applauding) - [ROB] Yes, it's true!
Joe did accidentally send his mum to the Lake District.
Ruth, you're next.
(Ruth gasping) - Right.
Because my dog hates loud noises so much, I always put earmuffs on him before we pull our Christmas crackers.
Alright.
- [ROB] Lee's team.
- Well, right.
What type of dog do you have?
- I have a British bulldog.
- The dog don't mind having these on his ears?
- No, not at all.
- How old is your dog?
- He's two.
- If I've got a new dog, and we're having Christmas dinner, and he don't like the bang, I'll put him in another room, so.
Why am I?
- Okay.
- So why am I gonna put all the effort to kind of teach him to put his earmuffs on?
- Why would you like?
- [Lee] Okay, I don't think.
Did you say teach him to put the earmuffs on?
(audience laughing) I don't think she's suggested, go, "Oi, Bonzo.
We're about to pull the.
Stick them on."
The dog going.
(Lee growling) - [RUTH] Okay, right, right, right, then.
Right, right.
Okay, Lee.
Lee, I.
(Lee growling) This is general, Lee.
You have a new puppy.
Am I wrong?
- Well, yes.
A fairly new puppy, yes.
- Would you, if it was frightened of something, and it needed you, would you put it in another room?
- We had a dog that was very frightened- - Yeah.
- -of fireworks.
- What did you Jo?
- Sold it.
(audience laughing) - Did you?
(audience applauding) - [JO] Did you, I dunno if you got advice from a vet or something about what to do, or.
- We were given the name of this dog specialist who could help with anxiety.
- What was his qualifications?
- I didn't read his qualifications.
- [LEE] I suspect he might have been a market trader that also sold earmuffs.
- Well, look.
No, they were my earmuffs!
He didn't need to give me earmuffs!
(audience laughing) - Okay, so what are you gonna say?
- Well, I am kind of neutral about it 'cause I can understand why you might do something like that.
- [LEE] Who wasn't wanting to dress up a dog?
So I believe she.
- It's adorable.
- She might put some clothes on it, I dunno.
- Have you dressed up your puppy?
- [LEE] Is that euphemism?
(audience laughing) (Joe Swash laughing) - You know it is.
- I've had a shower, if that's what you're asking.
(audience laughing) - [ROB] So what are we gonna say?
- [LEE] So Jo says it's?
- A lie.
- You think it's a lie?
- It's too much hassle.
Lie.
- [LEE] I think it's got to be a lie.
- [ROB] Okay, you're saying- - It's got to be, hasn't it?
- So you're saying it's a lie.
Okay, Ruth?
Was it the truth or were you telling a lie?
- You all look like idiots because it was a lie.
(tone dinging) - [LEE] Oh.
(Jo laughing) Well done.
(audience applauding) - [ROB] Our next round is called, This Is My, where we bring on a mystery guest who has a close connection to one of our panelists.
Now, this week, each of David's team will claim it's them that has the genuine connection to the guest.
It's up to Lee's team to spot who's telling the truth.
So please welcome this week's special guest, David.
(energized festive music) (audience applauding) So, Joe Lycett, what is David to you?
This is my neighbor David.
And last year, to save money, we time-shared a Christmas tree.
- [ROB] Ruth, how do you know David?
- This is David.
And he walked into a charity shop just as I was donating the gift he'd given me a few days earlier.
(Rob chuckling) - Right, Ruth's charitable chum.
And finally, David, what is your relationship with David?
- This is David.
And when my daughter lost her beloved toy rabbit, we held up a train so I could board it and grab it.
(audience laughing) - So there we have it.
Lee's team.
Where would you like to begin?
- Joe.
Next door neighbor?
- Yeah.
- Well, first of all, why aren't you just buying your own Christmas tree?
- Well, David and I decided to save a bit of money.
We knew David was going away on Christmas Eve, so he wasn't gonna use the Christmas tree after that point.
I was working pretty much up until Christmas.
So we thought it was a good idea that we saved.
- [LEE] So he got it from the the 1st of December.
- He got it on the 12th to the 24th, then I had it from the 24th to the 1st.
I got rid of it on the 1st.
- And did you take it decorated?
- Yeah.
- [LEE] Just in one, that, and just plunk it in your house?
- [JOE LYCETT] So.
That's why we won't do it again.
'Cause we worked out that the savings that we made from sharing the cost of the tree, which was about 60 quid, we saved that.
But the amount of baubles that we lost in the transit.
- And this was all about saving 30 pounds?
- Yes.
- [LEE] But, you know, You're doin' alright.
- David's not.
(audience laughing) (Rob laughing) - What was your Christmas setup after the 24th?
Did you have people staying with you?
- They didn't stay, but they came for Christmas dinner.
- For the day.
- Oh, you remember they came to watch EastEnders.
- [ROB] Yeah, you had the big row with them, don't you remember?
- [JOE LYCETT] We had the big row, yeah.
- [ROB] Right, who would you like to question next?
- Ruth.
- [RUTH] Yes.
- Can you remind us of your.
- David's my cousin.
And he walked into a charity shop just as I was donating the gift he'd given me a few days earlier.
- What was the gift?
- What was the gift?
First of all.
- [RUTH] Right.
It's one of those, you know, them really ugly porcelain pig things that open.
- Huh?
- [RUTH] You know them on like?
- Cookie jar?
- Yeah, but smaller than a cookie jar.
Not big enough for a cookie jar, so you couldn't even use it for that.
- So sorry, you've gone into the charity shop to get rid of this pig thing?
- Yeah.
That's the only words that can describe it.
- Your cousin's walked in.
- Yeah.
- And gone, taking a pig for a walk?
What are ya doin' with the pig?
(audience laughing) (Rob singing the EastEnders doof-doofs) - I didn't expect him to be there.
(audience laughing) - Did you carry on with the process of like?
Let's get rid, he must have asked you.
- Yeah, talk us through exactly what happened after he walks in.
- [RUTH] Right, right.
David came in because he saw me.
There was absolutely no other reason for him to go in the charity shop.
You could tell he was really upset, but without wanting to.
- But did he mention, what did he say?
- He went, "Oh!
What are you doing?"
Like he just points this pig that I'm holding.
- [LEE] Yeah?
- And I panicked, so I said, "Look, I didn't wanna tell you at the time, but I've already got one."
(audience laughing) - Ah.
- So when did he actually find out the truth, then?
- So I had to call David and tell him I was coming on Would I Lie To You?
And I can't stand the thought of hurtin' anyone's feelings.
- So you thought you'd bring him on national television and humiliate him?
(audience laughing) - No, no, no, no, no.
We've, we've since spoke and he's lovely.
- [LEE] Right.
- [ROB] Now.
Lee, what about David?
David, remind us of your claim and your statement.
- This is David and he helped me board a train to rescue a rabbit.
- First of all, where were you going from?
- I was going from London to Cardiff.
- With your wife and child?
- Exactly.
- Was you goin' there for a reason?
- [ROB] What do you mean by that?
You've gotta have a reason to go to Cardiff?
(audience laughing) Oh, you come down here with your cockney patter.
(audience laughing) People go to Cardiff just 'cause they want to visit it!
- Sorry, mate.
(audience laughing) - Right.
- Did you like it there, David?
Did you like it?
- It was very nice.
I, you know, I'd put Carlisle into the train app, so.
(audience laughing) (audience applauding) - Talk us through what happened.
- Well, what happened?
We got on the train.
- [LEE] Yeah?
- And she, this rabbit called, Pink Rabbit.
It's a pink rabbit.
What's it called?
She calls it Pink Rabbit.
- That's it, she's got your sort of creativity.
- Thank you.
(audience laughing) And it's her second favorite cuddly toy.
- Who's the favorite?
- [DAVID] The favorite is another rabbit.
He's called Wiggles.
- Wiggles.
- Oh, okay.
- [RUTH] Aw!
- But Wiggles never leaves the house.
- Oh, is he got an ASBO?
(audience laughing) - It's just, it's better we always know where Wiggles is.
- [LEE] Okay.
- But Pink Rabbit is the favorite of the toys she will take outta the house.
- [ROB] How had you acquired the rabbit?
Where'd the rabbit come from?
- It was probably.
It was probably a Christmas present at some point.
But the thing is, it was around for a couple of years, this, among the various, she's got lots of toy rabbits and that sort of thing.
And then suddenly, and I'm not quite sure why.
- [LEE] Yeah?
- Pink Rabbit came to favor.
- Yeah.
- It was like Stalin emerging as the front-runner of the Politburo.
You know?
(audience laughing) - Are you still doing the bedtime stories?
- He wasn't the obvious successor to Lenin, but then a few years later, suddenly he's in charge!
So, Pink Rabbit has had a meteoric rise.
- [ROB] Right.
- Yeah, you get off the train at Cardiff.
- [DAVID] Exactly.
- And when do you realize the rabbit's gone?
- When we've got to the hotel and my wife realizes, the look of- (Lee gasping) - That she's married to you and has a breakdown.
- Thank you, as always, you've made it so Christmassy.
(audience laughing) But then she sort of takes me aside, and says, "I don't think we've got Pink Rabbit."
- At no point has your daughter made any reference to this rabbit, even though it's her favorite rabbit.
The, I know.
The thing is, when we got on the train, my daughter said, "I'd like, can we get Pink Rabbit outta the bag?
I want to have Pink Rabbit with me on the train."
And it was my strong view that that was a bad idea.
That we should keep Pink Rabbit in the bag where we know where Pink Rabbit is and only get Pink Rabbit out when we get to Cardiff.
But no, I was overruled.
It was apparently fine and she would keep an eye on Pink Rabbit and not forget about Pink Rabbit.
- Okay.
- So your wife said to ya, "Pink Rabbit's gone."
- Yeah.
- Do you phone the train station?
Because Pink Rabbit's on the way back to London.
- No.
- No?
- [DAVID] No, no, no, no.
Pink Rabbit is on the way to Swansea.
- Yeah.
- Where it is going to turn round and then head back to London via, and here's the loophole.
- The Lake District?
(audience laughing) - [DAVID] No.
Via Cardiff!
The train is coming back via Cardiff.
- So you know now where the train is headed.
So what do you decide to do?
- We go to Cardiff Station in order to get on it and look for Pink Rabbit.
- But you said.
- All for a cuddly toy?
- Oh yes!
- How many children do you have?
- One.
- [ROB] Well, of course.
Classic.
Classic only child scenario.
I've got five.
I would've said the rabbit's dead.
Get on with your life.
(audience laughing) So what happened?
- Well, we went to the station.
- Yeah?
- [DAVID] David was in the, sort of, glass room slash booth next to the barriers.
- It's nice that he's brought it with him!
(audience laughing) - [DAVID] And we went up to him and, said, "Look, we haven't got tickets to the train, but it's, we don't want to get on the train.
We want to go and retrieve a toy rabbit."
And he looked quite stern and severe and then nodded and went, "Yeah, that's fine."
And it was a wonderful moment of possibility.
- Right.
So then what happens?
- The train comes into the station, my wife goes to the front of the train to talk to the driver.
- She's such a flirt!
(audience laughing) - And we've worked out where our carriage would be coming in.
- [ROB] Yes?
- I get on the right carriage to look for Pink Rabbit and as it turned out, thankfully, find Pink Rabbit and then get off the train.
- The bit we haven't heard yet is that if you have specifically said, "I don't think the rabbit should leave the bag."
- Yeah.
- [LEE] And then you get to the hotel and she says, "Oh, we haven't got the rabbit."
How did that conversation go?
(audience laughing) - Well, what can I say?
I'm a hell of a guy.
(audience laughing) - But what did you actually say?
- I did not say I told you so.
- [LEE] You didn't say I told you so?
- I did not say I told you.
- You might not have said it with your mouth.
Did you say it with your eyes?
- Oh, well I can't affect that, can I?
Can't affect what they're doing!
They're always admonishing everyone!
(audience laughing) But no, I didn't say that because I knew my wife would already have been thinking it.
It was not necessary for me to say those words because they were already in her brain.
- [LEE] So, be honest.
- And, at some point, she is going to say, "You told me so."
For me as indeed she subsequently did.
(audience laughing) And that!
Is when a relationship is working.
(audience laughing) (audience applauding) - Alright.
We need an answer, so.
Lee's team.
Is David Joe's frugal friend, Ruth's charitable chum or David's rabbit rescuer?
- This is a tough one.
I mean, Ruth is.
It's not likely, is it?
- [JO] No, I don't think that's likely.
- I'm genuinely torn between David and Joe.
I don't know!
- [JOE] I've been in the same situation and lost a teddy bear at the airport and I was gutted, quite, for ages.
I'm gonna go with David because I've been there.
- I have also been there, so I do feel that this could be true.
- [ROB] Alright, yeah.
- I'm aware of like how emotionally damaging these situations can be.
And, for that reason, we didn't buy our children any toys.
(audience laughing) So it's hard to know, really.
- [LEE] Fair enough.
Yeah, yeah.
- [ROB] Jo, what did you think?
What's it gonna be?
- David, go with David.
- I'll go with David.
- We'll go with David.
- [ROB] Gonna say that David held up the train, okay.
David, would you please reveal your true identity?
- I'm David.
And, David and I, rescued his daughter's rabbit.
(audience cheering) - [ROB] Yes!
David is David's rabbit rescuer!
Thank you very much, David.
(audience applauding) Which brings us to our final round, Quick Fire Lies.
And we start with?
(tone dinging) It's Jo Brand.
- This box contains everything I need to play my family's favorite festive game.
(Ruth gasping) - [ROB] Alright.
So could you now take the contents out and put them onto the desk please?
(plastic cup tapping) - [LEE] Oh?
- Well it's a plastic cup, water.
Pen there?
Sheet of paper.
- Yeah.
- Well, it looks exciting.
- [JO] What you do, right, is you get up the glass.
- I'm a bit nervous about what you're gonna do.
(audience laughing) - [JOE LYCETT] Oh, right.
Got a little.
- [JO] You come up like with like the category.
- A category, yes.
- [JO] Yes, like.
- Ah!
Sorry, I've got a cramp in my foot.
Just bear with me a minute.
- Like diseases.
- Keep thinking, keep thinking.
(audience laughing) - Ah!
(David laughing) Ah.
You alright?
That's better, thank you, carry on.
(Joe Lycett laughing) - So you come up with a category, yes?
- Yeah.
So, I am gonna start the game off.
So I think of something in that category and I write that down on a bit of paper.
- Yes.
- You have got to come up with something from the category.
- [ROB] Yes.
- Which is trees.
- [ROB] Yeah.
- So you each say a tree.
And if anyone says the tree that I've written on the paper, I throw this over them.
(audience laughing) - [ROB] Oh, let's play it.
Let's play it.
We'll give you a category.
The category is Things You Might Find In a Christmas Dinner.
So, food items in a Christmas dinner, right now.
Fold the paper up, don't let them see it.
(Ruth gasping) - Okay.
- [ROB] Okay.
Now Jo, Lee, and Joe Swash are your sons.
They've come home.
- No, no, no, no, no!
- They're back from the youth detention center.
- Would you like my friend Robert to play?
- [LEE] Yeah, Rob.
My mum says you can play.
- Thanks.
- [LEE] You can come in and have a play.
(audience laughing) - [LEE] We're all playing the game.
- Oh, hang on a minute.
Now wait a minute.
I'm told that my desk is not waterproof.
- Oh yeah.
- But you, no, seriously.
But this is.
- Hang on, I'm being told.
(audience laughing) That my desk also.
(audience applauding) I'm so sorry.
Sorry.
- [LEE] I'm just being told my skin is soluble.
(audience laughing) - I'm telling you the truth.
That's what they're telling me.
So remember now, boys, the category is Things In a Christmas Dinner.
(Joe Swash chuckling) Get ready.
Here we go.
Let's get the tension.
- Sorry.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Lee Mack?
Something you'd find in a Christmas dinner?
- Okay, I'm gonna go for a nut roast.
- [RUTH] Ooh.
- [ROB] Oh, the tension there when she.
- [RUTH] That was, yes.
- Wow, okay.
Joe Swash?
- A brussels sprout.
Oh!
- [ROB] Oh, it's back to Lee.
- This is unbearable.
- [RUTH] Oh my word!
- [LEE] Absolutely unbearable.
- This is great game!
- I'm gonna go for a carrot.
- Oh.
- Oh!
Joe Swash.
- Pigs in blankets.
- [ROB] Oh!
Lee.
(Ruth squealing) - [JOE SWASH] Don't look at me!
(Ruth laughing) - Turkey!
(audience laughing) (David laughing) - [ROB] Oh, then Joe Swash.
- This is an unbelievably stressful game.
- Yorkshire Pudding.
- [DAVID] What are you talking about?
Yorkshire Pudding?
- I have Yorkshire Pudding in my Christmas dinner!
- [DAVID] Oh, no, this is.
- [ROB] No.
- [LEE] Only because he set the satnav for brussels sprouts!
- [DAVID] Yeah, it was!
(audience laughing) (audience applauding) - Alright, gravy!
- He said gravy as well.
- [RUTH] Gravy.
- He said gravy.
Lee?
- Cranberry sauce!
(audience laughing) - Joe Swash?
- Bit of turkey!
- He said turkey!
- [ROB] He's already said turkey!
- Okay, I'll go with some carrots.
- [ROB] He's already carrot!
(audience laughing) - You already said carrot?
Alright, I'll go with some stuffin'!
(Joe yelling) (audience applauding) (Rob laughing) (guests laughing) - Yes!
Yes!
Oh yes!
- [ROB] Right.
- Well done.
- [ROB] So.
- Oh, that's the happiest thing that's ever happened to me.
- Was that game genuinely something that Jo plays?
Or did she just make it up?
Truth or lie?
- Even if it's not, to come up with that on the spot is brilliant.
I'm playing that on Christmas Day.
- [DAVID] Oh, it's a brilliant game.
If Jo invented that game in the last few seconds?
- [RUTH] Exactly.
- Reading off a card, then well, she'd be a genius!
- [ROB] Okay, so what's she gonna be?
Truth or lie?
- [DAVID] We're gonna say true.
- [ROB] Okay, Jo.
- [DAVID] It's a lie, isn't it?
- [ROB] This incredible Christmas game.
- [RUTH] Oh my goodness me.
- [ROB] Truth or lie?
- It's true.
(tone dinging) - [RUTH] Yay!
(audience applauding) - [ROB] Yes, it's true.
Jo does play the game every Christmas.
(buzzer sounding) Oh, and that noise signals time is up.
It's the end of the show.
I can reveal that Lee's team have won.
By three points to two.
(audience cheering) Thanks for watching!
We'll see you next time!
Good night.
(energized festive music) (music continues) (bells ringing)
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Would I Lie To You? is a local public television program presented by WETA