♪ ♪ (voice trembling): I met somebody and I moved on.

Oh, hey!

And whatever you've decided, you will have my full support.

JACK: You disappeared, Alice.

I did everything you asked of me at that wedding, and you repaid me with silence.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Do you understand what this is, Jack?

Guilt.

ALICE: An apology.

Is that your suicidal oil investment?

Give it time, it will rise from the dead.

Sell!

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ JACK (breathlessly): Hey!

Sorry, I've only got about six minutes.

I'm upstairs killing syphilis bacteria, so... On your lunch break?

Yeah, lunch break, nights, weekends.

It's a passion project, which is a euphemism for "I've got to do it on me own time."

Which is in turn a euphemism for "your boss is a soulless wanker."

(chuckles): Maybe.

Anyway, this might take the edge off.

Oh, my God.

I mean, don't you-- oof.

Don't you normally wire these, or... Well, I thought this would be festive.

I mean, what if, what if I lose it?

It'll be reissued if you lose it.

What if I'm mugged on the way to the bank?

Don't endorse it till you get inside the bank.

They're gonna suspect me of criminal activity.

I think... No, they're not.

But they will treat you differently.

Today and for the rest of time.

It's not gonna break.

You can be as nonchalant as you like about this.

You can probably afford to buy Belgium now.

(laughs) But this...

This is my daughter's freedom to find her way.

And I was never nervous.

You said it would happen, and it happened.

Thank you for coming, thank you for this.

I just didn't like fighting, Jack.

I didn't like it at all.

And I wanted to come here and talk the way we used to and... And set the world right.

You've done that.

I keep thinking I'm going to crumple the check.

(both chuckle) Sorry.

Sorry, Al, I, I...

I can't do that.

Alice, I'm sorry, I've...

I've turned a corner.

I mean, I told you, I told you that.

No, it shouldn't have, um...

I, uh...

I meant to just give you the check and then leave the way that I came.

You only want me now 'cause you can't have me.

I'm not a (muted) child.

It comes up, you know?

It's there, it's always been there.

It can't help but come out.

Do you know what I mean?

I haven't looked in on those feelings for a while.

They don't matter.

They don't matter?

Everything's breakable, Alice.

Even this.

Well, I suppose we're even.

Nearly.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ (people talking softly in background) WOMAN (softly): Quiet!

(people shushing) WOMAN: Morning, boss.

Good morning, boss.

What the (muted) is going on?

Are you sitting down?

I'm standing up right in front of you.

Half an hour ago, a courier delivered a massive check from Vanth Capital, with an instruction letter from Alice stipulating it be used to set up a new pro-bono division led by you, with no interference from Saul the Cheap.

Who, if you look discreetly over my shoulder... Jack, I said discreetly, for (muted) sake.

Awaits you at the centrifuge.

So, anyway, good morning.

(phone ringing out) What are you doing?

I'm stopping this.

Have you lost your mind?

She doesn't decide how I live my life.

ALICE (on phone): Hi, this is Alice.

She's rich.

ALICE: Um, leave me a message.

They decide everything.

Mate, she just made our dreams come true.

We can do what we want.

We can follow our hearts.

We can go to Cuba, Dominica, or, or Malaysia or Sri Lanka.

Or the Maldives-- where the problems are.

We can work with those brilliant doctors who have everything but the money!

♪ ♪ What do I tell Saul?

Tell him he's a soulless (muted).

♪ ♪ Maya!

Jack!

Hi!

Congratulations!

What's happening here?

Yeah, she, she sent everybody their money and then she closed down the fund.

Why?

What the (muted)?

Well, because she's done, isn't she?

I mean, she set records year-over-year.

Her employees and clients are all sorted, and...

I mean, she's got more money than she could ever spend, so I think she's made her point...

This, this is... Crazy-- where is she?

She wants to travel.

When does she leave?

She left last night.

She didn't say goodbye.

She doesn't like goodbyes.

Especially not the ones with you.

What did you think this was, some sort of passive-aggressive power display?

Aggressive-aggressive, but yeah, that's what it feels like.

No, Jack, she took you at your word and she did a noble and generous thing.

I didn't ask her to.

Yeah, and that's why it's noble and generous.

She's in love with you!

You idiot.

She tell you that?

I'm her friend.

She left something for you in case you came.

Do you know what it says?

Of course not.

I might build up to it.

Mm.

It won't change what's inside.

Hey, what do you want for your birthday?

It's months from now.

I want to get a head start.

A sword.

A sword?

Mark says I should try fencing next.

Does he?

Well...

I bet you'll be a fine fencer.

Who's that from?

Oh, um, my friend Alice.

The lady who almost got married?

You remember her.

Course.

What's it say?

I haven't read it yet.

But I will.

Right.

Come on, let's go to bed.

(envelope opening) ♪ ♪ (replacing letter in envelope) (drawer opens) (drawer closes) (switch clicks) (bird chirping) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ (phone chiming) Hello.

Where are you?

I am in the hall.

Can I come in?

Okay.

(call ends) (door opening) Morning.

How'd you sleep?

Fine.

Are you going in?

I am.

Sorry, I have to.

Paul and I are tinkering.

There's eggs downstairs.

Eat them before they themselves become infectious.

Um, Mark said if you had to go to work, he would take me to breakfast.

Great.

Give us a hug.

Wow.

(chuckles) See you later.

Bye.

Don't forget your keys.

(footsteps descending stairs) (house door opens) (house door closes) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ (birds twittering) (papers shifting) ♪ ♪ (paper sliding out) ♪ ♪ Oh, my God.

Celia.

I have some questions.

I've waited so long for this.

(liquid pouring) (pitcher clanks) (ice cubes rattling) Hm.

(glass clanks) You're a dancer.

Well, no, I mean, I was when I was a kid, for 16 years, really.

But it could have been my job, I suppose, yeah.

What happened?

Things just changed.

Yeah.

But I do it for myself still.

Yeah, dancing's about the only thing I haven't tried.

(chuckles) You should.

Really?

Yeah.

Why does my mum hate my dad?

She doesn't.

I think she's just a bit angry.

Why?

Things in the past.

Like you and my dad?

Yeah.

So it was a mistake.

What was?

My mum and my dad getting married.

No!

No.

It was a mistake, so I shouldn't be alive.

No!

That's the farthest thing from the truth, no.

And your dad would say it's the best thing he's ever done.

And I'd agree with him, 'cause you're here.

And we're meant to be here, aren't we, all of us?

I think.

My mum and my stepdad say awful things about him.

Yeah.

He doesn't fight back.

No.

Of course he doesn't.

(chuckles) Well... Well, I want to know what the truth is.

What to believe.

And if there's another side to this story, I want to hear it.

Well, that's fair enough.

I'm not sure that it's my place to say...

I need to know whether I can trust him, if I should love him.

Oh, my goodness.

You know, Celia, life just isn't tidy.

And it's just really easy to judge people.

But, um... ...your dad is the best person I know.

(softly): Really?

You don't think I'd be here if it wasn't for him?

And I wish...

I would have given anything to have a dad like your dad.

Do you want me to teach you some ballet?

Is that weird?

No!

Yeah!

Yeah!

(both laugh) Yeah?

Yeah!

Okay.

Shall I... Take your shoes off.

(clears throat) ♪ ♪ And then just open your arms out, and that's second position.

And then just bring them back together again... You're giving the impression of a ballerina.

(laughing): Really?

You are, yeah.

Yeah.

Um, I'll show you a different thing.

So, you can hold onto me here.

Okay.

I'm like, I'm like the ballet buoy.

You've got it, you've got it.

You've got it!

(laughs) ♪ ♪ That's amazing.

(laughs) Celie, honestly, I think that you'd be really, really good at this.

Really?

Yeah.

I do.

Point your right foot.

♪ ♪ Perfect.

Really?

Yeah.

(both laugh) Brilliant.

Are you all right there?

Yeah, it's a bit wobbly.

(both laugh) ♪ ♪ Hello.

Did you forget your key again?

Yeah.

(chuckles) We'll have to get you one of those little gray rocks you can hide them inside.

♪ ♪ What happened?

Who's angry?

No one, it's just a better hug.

(kisses) (exhales) Okay.

Sit down?

Mm-hmm.

(sighs) How was work?

Tried and failed to save humanity again.

How was breakfast?

Didn't go.

No?

What'd you do instead?

Nothing much.

(bag rustling) ♪ ♪ Very mysterious.

"Nothing much."

Mm-hmm.

(both chuckle) (both laugh) It's making less and less sense.

(people laughing in background) Present company excluded.

(laughing) Excluded, thank you.

(laughing): You're welcome.

Oh, my God!

(exhales) Can I just say, I'm having a really nice time with you.

Yeah, I'm...

I'm having a really nice time with you, too.

Good.

(chuckles) So, there's something I should tell you.

Oh, God.

Is this besides the ex-wife and the, the daughter?

It is, it is, yeah.

Okay.

(glass set on table) I've been in love with somebody since 2007.

And... She has been in love with me.

Since 2007.

(chuckles) Um... Yeah, we tried dating when we were young, you know, but it just did not work out.

And so we ended up leaving each other's lives for good.

Oh, you're not in touch.

No, we are in touch.

You are in touch.

Yeah, um... (chuckles) We... ...bumped into each other a few years ago, coincidentally, in Cuba.

In Cuba!

Yeah.

Huh.

Can you imagine?

No.

Anyway, ever since then, we've just been friends.

You know?

We see each other all the time, we tell each other basically everything, but there's a line now that we'll never ever cross it again.

And... That's it.

I only tell you this now 'cause I failed to tell somebody about it years ago, and that turned out to not be fair.

So, you're in love with another woman.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And she's in love with you.

Yeah.

And you're sitting here presenting yourself as available.

I am available.

(clears throat) FLOOR MANAGER: Okay, guys, are we ready?

Ready in four, three, two...

Here's a phrase you don't hear every day: "celebrated biomedical researcher."

Jack Caine, welcome to the program.

Thank you very much for having me.

You've been on quite a run.

Uh, I should say first of all that it's not just me.

There's a whole bunch of us, but, uh, yeah, thank you.

This is 2022, Jack.

There's no such thing as humility.

Tell us, what's in your crosshairs?

(inhales): Well, uh, dengue fever.

Ah.

JACK: It's mosquito-borne, caused by a virus.

About 22,000 deaths a year, mostly children, and there is no known cure.

RACHEL: Enter Jack and his bunch, so to speak.

(chuckles) JACK: That's the idea, yeah.

RACHEL: So, what's the plan?

You and Rachel Tinsley-Dean liked each other.

(clicks tongue) Please.

It's show business.

(chuckles) Well, I think you're a very good match.

You and Rachel Tinsley-Dean, you look great together.

You and Rachel Tinsley-Dean sound great together.

Why do you keep on calling her by her full name?

I just like saying her full name.

Rachel Tinsley-Dean, Rachel Tinsley-Dean.

(button clicks) It's just up here on the left, please.

Rachel Tinsley-Dean-- if you got married...

If you got married, she'd be called Rachel Tinsley-Dean-Caine.

You can't have two hyphens.

Yeah, it's a real mouthful, you can't.

I'll see you later.

(car door unlatches) I'm not supposed to know about that.

Oh!

Yeah.

I'll not see you tonight.

You're a nightmare.

(thumping glass) ("Act One Variation" from "Giselle" playing) (piece continues) (piece continues) (softly): Alice Long.

Just in time, come this way.

(music continues) (strings playing lightly, tempo quickens) (music continues) (full orchestra playing, volume increases) (audience cheers and applauds) (audience cheering and exclaiming) (exhales): Thank you for coming.

(breathlessly): Oh, my God.

Okay, I've got to go.

("Act III Pas de Deux" from "Swan Lake" playing) Well done on your half of the DNA.

(exhales): Yeah.

You, too.

Oh, God, she's so good.

(music continues) I mean, she's pretty bendy.

She's loose-jointed, yeah.

If ballet doesn't work out, she can be a magician's assistant.

(laughs) (inhales sharply) I think it will work out.

I think it will.

And I'm really, really happy to have been part of that.

A big part of it.

It's kind of life-changing, isn't it, when you just... ...put the self-absorption aside, and you focus on the next generation.

'Cause you feel like you can finally, like, just...

I don't know, breathe or something.

You sound like a parent.

I'm gonna be.

You should be.

No, I'm actually going to be one.

I've decided to be one.

And my insemination's next Wednesday.

Well, congratulations.

(laughs) Thanks.

Wow.

When did, when did you decide...

It's been evolving, and it's been coalescing, you know.

I just need my own people.

You're my people, but you're also not mine.

And, um, I just need my own clan.

A clan of two.

It's not a very big clan, but...

It'll be a fantastic clan.

Yeah.

Sorry, what is the methods, means by which you... Oh, yeah, no, um, turkey baster.

Tur... Oh.

Just like Christmas.

Yep.

Just pick out of a catalogue.

And so who's the lucky guy?

Steven Foster.

Steven Foster.

38.

Of Watford.

Mm-hmm.

Etymologist.

Ooh!

Fancy.

Yeah.

He's really nice, actually, I met him.

Five stars on Yelp.

You know.

(chuckles) My kid'll beat me at Scrabble.

So, win-win.

It's the dream.

(laughing) Jesus, I'm j...

I mean...

I'm delighted for you.

Thank you.

Do you think I'll be an all right parent?

No.

(laughs) I think you'll-- I know you'll be an amazing parent.

Oh!

Yeah!

The only one who'll be happier than you will be the kid.

Guaranteed.

This is brilliant.

(laughs) A baby?

Yes.

Which she plans on raising alone?

Yes.

Alice?

Yes.

PAUL (sighing): Oy, oy, oy.

Hey.

I knew it was all going too well.

I knew there was too much peace and quiet in our little circle.

(sighs) A lovely, cortisol-free six years.

You guys don't give Alice enough credit.

For what, the abyss?

(chuckles): You know she's gonna be calling you, like, every five minutes.

I really don't think so.

Well, I do.

Just don't get sucked into it.

Don't get sucked right back into that Alice dysfunctionality vortex.

I completely agree-- everyone would agree.

Even Pandora would.

She'd say, "Dear God, don't, don't open that."

DONNA: We'll insulate you.

We'll help her find a baby nurse, a nanny, a cook, a concierge doctor, an errand runner, a full-on launderer, a cleaner, even a therapist!

One that's got a few partners so that, you know, there's always someone on call.

Yeah, maybe put that last one first.

Mm... (murmurs) JACK: You guys need to stop because she's going to be great.

Okay.

Okay, well, you know, we just only hope so.

For her sake, for the child's sake, and for your sake, because hear what now, we've got some news-- go on, baby, tell him.

Uh, Rachel Tinsley-Dean wants to go out with you.

What is wrong with everybody?

She does not want to go out with me.

She called the office and asked for your mobile.

She asked for my mobile?

Yeah.

She probably wants to go out with me, then.

Did you give it to her?

PAUL: I said I'd ask you, and that's what I'm doing.

JACK: Mm-hmm.

RACHEL (on TV): ..."celebrated biomedical researcher"...

It's probably a bad idea.

You don't mix business and pleasure, right?

PAUL: What, are you joking?

No one would ever have sex.

DONNA: Listen, either you take her out for dinner, or I will kill you with my bare hands.

PAUL: Well, no, don't look at me.

I'll, I'll hide the body.

RACHEL: Tell us, what's in your crosshairs?

Okay.

(footsteps echoing) ALICE: I heard your shoes all the way down the hall.

(laughs) What about Horton for a boy?

Yeah, there's no good answer to that.

What about Hester for a girl?

I think maybe let's move away from the Hs.

Right, okay, noted.

So, so this Steven guy?

Mm-hmm?

Is he kinda, like, part of the family now?

No.

He's an etymologist.

Mm-hmm.

Etymology's, like, a 24-7 career path.

Right.

You know, nouns popping up, left, right, and center.

In other words, though, you, you don't want him around.

Do you know, Maya?

Not everyone needs a dad, really.

In other words, though, if, if this Horton-Hester was to have a father figure, it could only be Jack.

You might recall that Jack already has his own kid.

But in other words... Will you stop saying "in other words"?

In other words... Maya.

(whispering): In other words... Oh, my God.

In other words, you're coming up with excuses.

Jack has the biggest heart of anyone.

There's plenty of room.

Jack and I are really good friends, and it's taken 15 years and a random meeting halfway around the world to find that out, and I'm not gonna mess it up by asking any more of him.

Okay.

(bag rustling) What do you mean, "okay"?

Okay.

Do you not want to, like, argue with me or something?

Do you want me to argue with you?

No.

Well, then, okay.

Okie dokes.

Okie dokes.

Let's eat.

(cutlery clattering) My mother told me, "When it comes to men, find the handsomest nerd you can."

Is that what she did?

Yeah.

(chuckles) And they've been happy their entire lives.

Oh, wow.

They must be very proud of you.

They worry.

It's television, so it's superficial, dumbed down, and money-driven.

Everything's superficial, dumbed down, and money-driven.

Not everything-- not what you do.

I was lucky-- I had a guardian angel.

What happened to her?

How do you know it's a her?

The way you said it.

Hmm.

I'm sorry to be forward.

I work 105 hours a week.

When I'm drawn to someone, I declare myself, gather information, and take a decision.

I do not have time for, um... Bull(muted).

No, I was gonna say inefficiency.

(chuckles) But also that.

(laughs) Okay, there's something I should probably tell you.

Oh, God, hang on.

(glass set on table) Go.

(chuckles) I've been in love with someone for 15 years, and she's in love with me.

The woman that came to the taping.

How do you know that?

She came to the taping.

Also, I have a, a daughter.

With that woman?

No, with my ex-wife.

Golly.

(both laugh) You're a lot for a nerd.

Sorry.

So, this woman?

Alice.

We've never managed to stay in a romantic relationship together for longer than about 11 minutes.

So, a long time ago, we decided to just be friends.

We have everything apart from the physical, basically, and that's the way that that will stay.

Mm-hmm.

But...

I guess my point is that I am not a completely clean slate.

(people talking, music playing in background) We're adults, Jack.

Anyone without a clean slate just hasn't been trying.

Pardon me?

Besides which, it's not like I'm asking you to marry me.

It's all right, I mean, I just want to enjoy your company.

Okay, I'm with you so far.

And if Alice is the love of your life, that's great, because work is the love of mine.

There you go, there's my confession.

(chuckles) So, if you're interested in me, um...

I'd say let's begin.

(tablet beeps) Alice!

(alarm sounding) I just feel like I've... Have I forgotten something?

Well, don't worry about that, because I haven't.

No.

I've got everything-- I've got scones.

Scones?

Yeah, well, you never know, and they travel well.

(softly): Come on.

Okay.

Goodbye, flat.

(alarm continues) One of us is leaving.

Two of us might be coming back.

If we don't go now, the police will come.

Okay-- did I set the alarm?

(alarm continues) Yep, it's on.

That's amazing.

Come on.

When did I do that?

MAYA: I did it-- go.

(groans) JACK: Morning.

Mmm, hi.

Hello-- how'd you sleep?

(exhales): This is a good bed.

(clicks tongue): It is.

(chuckles) (laughing): Where did you get it, if I may ask?

I don't actually know.

It was a housewarming gift.

Nice housewarming.

Mm-hmm, it was.

So, I go dark on Fridays.

Cyclical depression, is it?

My show.

Ah.

Which means Thursday night is my next avail, if you're free?

I am free.

And if I was not free, I would become free.

I like you.

(sighs) You okay?

(smacks lips) Yeah.

It's dumb.

I'm listening.

You remember Alice?

Yeah, she's being inseminated in about an hour.

Clinically, you mean?

(both laugh) Yes, sorry, clinically, mm-hmm.

Wow, good for her.

Mmm.

Hmm, I've thought about it.

You have?

Mmm.

For when they kick me out of the business.

The joys of parenting without the prison sentence of marriage.

But can I ask you something?

What are you doing here?

What do you mean?

Well, if your relationship is really what you say, then shouldn't you be by her side?

Moral support and so on?

What kind of friend are you?

She didn't ask.

Of course she didn't ask.

She didn't want to cross a line.

Your relationship means too much to her, and she didn't want to place undue weight.

Really?

How can some people be so smart in some ways and so daft in others?

It, it wouldn't have been placing undue weight, I would have liked to be there.

Really.

Well, then, why didn't you suggest?

Be, well, because I didn't want to place undue weight on her.

Mmm, that's the problem with respect.

Too much of it, and everything gets (muted).

Do you know where she's getting it done?

Yeah, I mean, I-- yeah, I mean, I could call her.

Calling is half-arsed.

Real friendship is full-arsed.

It's rush hour, I'm not gonna get there in time.

Which is why you own a bicycle.

♪ ♪ (typing) You all right?

Mmm, mm-hmm.

Sure?

(softly): Okay.

(aloud): Well, do you want a scone?

Not right now.

Okay.

(breathes deeply) Hi-- do you mind if I just pop out for a minute?

Is it for a cigarette?

No, it's not for a cigarette.

Then it's fine.

Thanks.

Do you want me to come with you?

ALICE: I'm okay.

Hey, I'll wait here in case they come, and if they do, I'll come get you.

Great plan.

Okay.

(sighs) (exhales) (exhales) ♪ ♪ JACK (calling): Alice?

(laughing) Alice!

(panting): Alice-- oh, my God.

Jesus.

(panting) (laughing) (panting) (bike falls) Did I miss it?

Has it happened already?

They don't just punt you outside right afterwards.

No, it hasn't happened yet.

(breathing heavily): Phew!

I can't believe I made it.

You can actually get here in, like, 18 minutes, if you ignore the lights.

Oh, well, good to know.

(chuckles) I'm sorry, I should have asked to come.

I was, I was standing on ceremony.

I'm sorry.

I would've asked you to come.

Uh, I almost asked you to come.

It's exhausting, isn't it, being in love?

It's (muted) brutal.

(sighs) You're not alone, Alice.

You've never been alone.

From the day we met, you've had a clan.

(sighs) (sniffling) (voice trembling): Do you think maybe you better pick up your bike?

Yeah.

ALICE: Just for pedestrians and stuff.

JACK: Yeah.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Oddly, it took, yeah, it took an interesting turn.

ALICE: I think I'm getting good at real life, if that's anything that you want to take a risk over.

You're not being rational.

Are you telling me to let her go?

People say at some point, the excitement fades away.

(car bumps) But with you, it never has.

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