(upbeat music) - Good evening, I'm Beryl Dakers.

For the past 10 years, the state of South Carolina has consistently ranked in the top 10 among all states for numbers of women killed by their domestic partners.

For the year 2004, we ranked number six in the nation.

A slight improvement from our ranking just two years before when we were number one.

This week, in observance of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, South Carolina ETV has presented an unprecedented slate of programs each day, each addressing a different aspect of the domestic abuse problem.

All programs have been aired under the banner, "Remember My Name."

This theme was adopted not only to focus our attention on domestic violence, but in an attempt to remove the victims from the cloak of anonymity.

To connect a face with the violence and to etch their names in our consciousness, we need to be reminded that each victim is someone's loved one, a mother, a father, a sister or brother, a daughter or son.

Tonight we've assembled a gathering of stakeholders from varying segments of our community: legislators, law enforcement personnel, corporate heads, doctors, lawyers, counselors, shelter directors, intervention specialists, abused women, their families, and ordinary folks like you and me who realize that this is everybody's problem and it must be addressed.

As the campaign slogan suggests, "There is no excuse for domestic abuse."

So what are we going to do about it?

Tonight, we'll look at some of these issues and hopefully determine what can be done to affect a change.

Please join us for this very important edition of the "ETV Forum" where a topic is domestic violence, the community responds.

And I'm going to begin now our discussion with Vicki Bourus, who is the executive director of the South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault.

Vicki, why has South Carolina consistently ranked in the top and why don't we know more?

Or why haven't we been more outraged about?

- Well, that's a very good question.

I think first it's important to say that domestic violence is a very serious problem throughout our nation.

And South Carolina is particularly plagued with the injuries and deaths that result.

Quite honestly, I think we've had an ineffective response for many years.

I think domestic violence has been classically behind closed doors in our state.

It has not been taken seriously.

It has not received the attention that it needs, and therefore the response has been behind the times, quite honestly.

I think we're catching up.

We have a lot to do, but I think that's changing.

I think we're turning the corner and I think we're gonna see some changes because of that.

- Representative Gilda Cobb-Hunter, you have been very visibly in the forefront of legislative efforts to make this problem more visible.

We recently passed new legislation.

I'd like to ask you where we stand with it and whether or not you feel this is enough?

- Well, first let me thank you and ETV for the wonderful job y'all have done all week with the programming on this issue.

The legislation that the General Assembly passed this past session takes effect in January of '06.

That's pretty much where we are.

One of the things that I feel very positive about, though, is that because of all of the work that went into developing that legislation, there was a section added which created a committee to look at all of the domestic violence laws currently on our books to make recommendations about possible changes or whatever.

I personally believe that we have enough laws on the books.

What I would like to see some attention focused on is enforcing the laws that we already have, number one, and number two, getting systems to work better together.

Because without systems working in a more effective way, all of the laws, all of the legislation will not do very much as far as eliminating this.

And I would add, in closing, to say that I don't want people to think it was a solo effort.

There are a number of my colleagues in both the House and the Senate, I'm joined by one here in the Senate, who have worked for a number of years on issues involving domestic violence.

I am just very pleased to have been a small part of that throughout the years that I've been there.

- Senator Lourie, she stole my thunder there.

I was gonna mention the fact that you have absolutely been very vocal on this issue, both in the legislature and in the community.

And I'd like to ask you similarly the same question.

We know that there has been the legislative study committee assembled.

What really is its focus or its charge?

- Well, you know, I think there are a couple things.

You know, we're waiting to see what they come back with and what recommendations they make.

I would have a tendency to agree with my good friend, Representative Cobb-Hunter, that there are many laws on the books now and implementing them.

For example, the legislation that we passed requires a new component of education for judges, you know, and I think that's very important.

And I think we have judges that do a great job, but this is a very complicated issue.

And, you know, I look forward to Chief Justice Toal working with us to develop a strategy to make sure that magistrates in all counties of South Carolina really understand how to deal with this.

And that's just one example of a law that's on the books that we, you know, changed, that we made in this new legislation.

And I think when that's implemented and years from now we look back, we'll think that that was a very important part of what we hope are improving conditions as it relates to this issue.

- That, and perhaps the understanding of the impact of the laws themselves.

- Well, no question about it.

You know, the one other area too is that we've, you know, we've tried to focus on in this particular bill is some mandatory minimums.

I mean, at some point I think people need to understand that when they commit this serious type of offense, that there's going to be jail time.

And that it's just not a simple pay the fine and get outta jail free.

I think, you know, putting in some mandatory minimums I think was an important part of this new law.

- And yet a scary part, I think too.

At least that's what we've heard from some of our domestic violence workers.

Vicki, would you like to respond to that at all?

- Well, Senator Lourie referred to the mandatory minimum, and we worked really hard to try to graduate the consequences based on first offense, second offense, third offense.

And one of the fears that we have is that with the mandatory minimum, there'll be a greater request for jury trials, which will delay the response, that will leave the battered woman kind of hanging out there until some adjudication happens.

And it may take longer.

On the other hand, I don't think we need to be crafting laws based on the weaknesses of the court system.

I think we need to look at ways that we can actually strengthen the response time and do something about the problem if it should come up like that.

- The Attorney General is with us tonight.

Mr.

McMaster, you too have been quite vocal in this area, and certainly we were all very moved by the Silent Witness ceremony earlier this month.

You have been advocating for more prosecutors in this area.

Why?

Why do we need specialized prosecutors?

- Well, because we don't have enough, and there's not enough money in the budget.

Typically, the solicitors, our 16 solicitors handle these cases, 'cause they're 99% of 'em in magistrate's court.

And it'll probably be that way under the new law as well.

First offense is still in the magistrate's court.

The good news is you can get a case a lot quicker in the magistrate court.

That is, witnesses don't disappear and evidence isn't lost, things like that.

But in recent years, there've been about 36,000 incident reports filed in South Carolina every year for criminal domestic violence.

36,000.

That's more than any other crime.

And when you keep in mind that typically a woman will not call the police until she's been beaten 10, 12, or 15 times, that gives you an idea of the magnitude of the problem.

They don't want to call the police.

But what happens when they go into the magistrate's court, of course half of 'em don't go.

They, for a variety of very good reasons, they lose confidence in the system.

Or the man tells 'em that, "I really love you and I won't do it again," and she wants to believe him.

For all those reasons, they got children to look after or need a car to get to work, gotta get people to school, no money, all those sorts of things, despite the shelters and all the people that are working so hard.

So half the time the victim doesn't show up.

So that case is almost dead right there.

And then half the time they do show up, they end up prosecuting for the defendant.

These are unique cases.

Every emotional and psychological crosscurrent that exists in any case in American law, they're all present in these cases.

If you don't have a prosecutor in that magistrate's courtroom to call the witnesses and to introduce the evidence, to lay the foundation, to put in hearsay evidence, to know the exceptions to the hearsay rule and things like that, things that the very best law officers just don't study like a prosecutor does, then you're not going to have anybody with confidence in that system.

And you're not gonna win the case.

That's why we have to have prosecutors.

Nobody has the money for it.

What we've done with the help of a lot of people, including Ms.

Bourus, is ask the private lawyers in the state to volunteer to be special prosecutors.

We have 90 that have come forward and been trained and been certified, and we're assigning them to jury trial cases as we can around the state.

They have a conviction rate of I think about 77%, which is way up from before.

But we need more.

And with the study committee that Senator Lourie and Representative Cobb-Hunter mentioned, we're asking for the legislature to fund one prosecutor, a special prosecutor per county, exclusively for criminal domestic violence cases.

If we have that one per county, some counties are handling it very well, most of 'em just don't have the resources.

If we have one per county that does nothing but these cases, jury trials and non-jury, and we supplement them with our pro bono lawyers, we think we can create confidence in the system and people will be comfortable in going to trial and seeing that their case goes forward.

Justice is done.

- And we can't underscore enough the word "pro bono" because we know, for lawyers, that's a commitment on their part to do this pro bono.

- It is.

But I tell you what we've discovered is the lawyers that do this, some of them are trial lawyers, some of them aren't.

They do wills and trusts and tax work and estates and all kinds of things.

But when they do these cases, they write back to us and they tell us, "This is the best case I've had, the best work I've done in years.

It's meaningful.

I made a difference.

And I'm very excited about the program."

That's what we hear from... So for all those lawyers out there that are listening, we need more.

And we'll train you, we'll certify you.

It's easy, and it's very important.

- I wanna take a look now at some of these statistics that we recognized from the thereisnoexcuse.org forum.

And David, if you would put that up.

Every 12 seconds, a woman is beaten by her husband or boyfriend.

Every 12 seconds.

One in four women is likely to be abused by a partner in her lifetime.

That's 25% of all women are likely to be abused.

Battering is the single largest cause of injury to women in the US.

And this one, we've seen.

South Carolina ranked sixth in the nation for men who murder women.

And finally, between 3.3 and 10 million children witness domestic violence annually.

Now, that's just a sampling of the statistics there on the thereisnoexcuse.org website.

And I must say that that website was the result of a collaboration that was funded by Verizon Wireless, a PR campaign collaboration.

Jerry Fountain is the regional president of Verizon Wireless.

You are here among these folks tonight.

And I know there are folks going, "Why is a corporate CEO sitting here among us?"

Verizon has long been instrumental in the fight against domestic violence.

Why and how?

- Well, it's a very good question, and it goes back about 10 years.

We started a program called HopeLine 10 years ago.

And what that program does is basically provide communication tools to people who are victims that live in shelters.

It's a great example of how technology can help benefit the community.

Basically, what we do is we provide cellular phones and voicemail capabilities to women who are in shelters, who often leave their homes, leave everything, don't have a way to communicate, particularly when it comes to trying to find a job, to leave a phone number that they can be reached at.

This is a wonderful tool to have.

That's how the program started.

But that was 10 years ago.

You know, today, when you look at the impact of what domestic violence has on businesses in the United States, there are studies that show that it costs between three and five billion dollars annually for businesses.

Businesses are made up of men and women who come to work every day to do a good job.

And when you impact their lives, that impacts the businesses in terms of absenteeism, employee turnover, increased medical costs.

So for all of those reasons, businesses can benefit greatly from, you know, improvements in the domestic violence issue.

- You also have a program whereby, if a woman is victimized and she's an employee, you assist her in relocation.

Is that correct?

- Absolutely.

We've done that a number of times.

Unfortunately, we've had to do that.

But we do have a number of programs that help support victims of domestic violence internally within Verizon Wireless.

Yes, ma'am.

- Well, we commend that, and we're gonna give you the opportunity to ask others in the corporate world to join this fight.

Dr.

Gerald Wilson is president of the South Carolina Medical Association.

And I mentioned earlier, this program is the community response.

Clearly, the medical community is in a unique position, I think, to recognize and perhaps to have some impact on the domestic violence issue.

- That's absolutely correct.

And this past year, at our annual meeting in April, we passed a resolution with regards to domestic violence.

And that resolution states that our official position is that we will work internally to work with our physicians.

The South Carolina Medical Association represents about 7,000 physicians that practice in the state.

And it's to internally educate physicians on how to recognize, how to work with, how to support individuals who have been victims of domestic violence.

And we use the AMA's guidelines in doing that.

Their interview techniques are helpful.

Oftentimes, physicians are faced with recurring visits to the emergency room, and oftentimes they will not get the true story about that.

But if you probe carefully, you may be able to pick up on hints that things are going in that direction.

- But you do have to probe.

It's not something that most women are going to readily volunteer.

- Correct.

And then the other part of it is, if it is recognized, you have to have patience in dealing with those individuals because they will not make rational decisions.

When a person is being victimized and you think that it's in their best interest for their health and their well-being to be taken out of that situation, and you recommend that they be sheltered, oftentimes they'll feel that they can't do that.

They feel that they may make their partner more upset.

Fortunately, we have good laws against stalking in this state.

But still, the reason that there are murders that occur is because those individuals may pursue and try to find them.

The other part of our resolution has to do with external efforts by the SCMA, and that is to work with other organizations like the coalition in trying to provide more support and educate the public about the issues of domestic violence.

And finally, what we want to do is work with the legal system, the legislature, and the legal system in looking at those laws and trying to make some recommendations.

I felt strongly that, along with incarceration, behavior modification is absolutely necessary because a number of the people that are batterers come from backgrounds where they have been battered.

And unless you can modify that behavior, put them in anger management, put them through some process where they can redirect their efforts, you're gonna have the same system occur over and over again.

And the final thing I wanted to mention right now is that we do have to consider that one out of 10 of these battered are men who are battered by women.

It's not just women who are battered.

And we also have to think about the children who are the result of this.

You mentioned the statistics show that a number of children are exposed to domestic violence.

They see what happens.

These children grow up, they have management problems, and they oftentimes will become batterers themselves.

- Thank you very much, and thank you for leading into that because one of the issues that has been raised by the public in response to our programming is the fact that we have focused on women.

And that is in no way to say that we don't recognize that there are males who are battered as well.

It's just that, proportionately, the majority of batterers turn out to be males in this case.

And Carl, that lands right in your lap because you are a batterer intervention specialist, as I understand it, with the Compass program in Greenville.

Can you, it's like, can you make the, whatever it is, change stripes?

I mean, can we really intervene and make a difference with someone who has been a batterer?

- Yes, I think you can.

And I think it's a two-pronged approach.

One is you have to have negative consequences, whether it's jail time, whether it's a large fine.

I think the fines need to be large enough to where it really, really hurts.

I personally think we ought to have a jail sentence, first offense.

I would love to see it be a mandatory 30 days that they get to serve every weekend for 15 weeks and work during the week.

'Cause one of the reasons that victims don't want their partner to be arrested is because they need the support.

I'd love to see them have to work during the week, support their family, go to jail on weekends, and the first weekend they serve, they start a batterer's treatment program in the jailhouse.

I think that would help.

I think there need to be, this is best case scenario, I think there need to be restraining orders that have teeth, that say if you go around her during that time you're supposed to be out working, then you're gonna pay a huge price.

Alright?

So I think there need to be teeth in the law for consequences.

I think the other prong is you've gotta be able to get these guys in a program where you begin to help them understand that there's nobody responsible for what they've done but them.

They can't blame their mom, they can't blame their judge, they can't blame their dad.

You know, we recognize that most of the people who are batterers in this state have been abused at some point along in their lives.

Well, at some level, we have to say, "We hate what's happened to you, but you're an adult now.

You cannot do this to somebody.

It doesn't matter what's happened to you in the past.

You cannot repeat what's happened to you."

Somebody has mentioned anger management.

Anger management helps, but what we need for these folks who are batterers is not just anger management, because I don't believe it's just an anger management problem.

Because these folks who batter, they don't batter people at work who make them mad or because somebody jacks them up against the wall or they get fired.

It's not just an anger management problem.

It's a power and control problem.

And it's not them losing control of themselves, it's them being afraid they're gonna lose control of their partner.

- Thank you.

If you've been watching the series here on ETV, you know that we have been demonstrating, we have been telling the stories of various women who have been the victims of domestic abuse.

One of the first stories was Sylvia's story.

And at this point, I'd like to look at just the beginning of that story because it raises several points for further discussion.

Let's take a look.

- You could have never convinced me that he would've shot me.

Maybe beat me, yes, I could believe that, or even stab me, but never shoot me, just cold-blood shoot me down like an animal.

(gunshot cracks) He really wanted to make sure that I was dead.

And if not for the grace of God, that gun jammed, (gentle melancholic music) he would've killed me.

- [Narrator] On June 3rd, 1998, as she lay sleeping in her bed, Sylvia Lawrence awakened to the sound of gunshots.

Her estranged husband kicked in her door and shot her, firing until the gun jammed.

This is Sylvia's story.

- Several things were revealed in that particular program, and I'm delighted to say that Sylvia survived.

She is with us in our studio tonight.

But I'm going to talk now a little bit about law enforcement.

And so, the police chief is looking at me very warily.

One of the things that was most disturbing in Sylvia's story was the fact that, two hours before she was shot, she had been at a local law enforcement agency seeking assistance, trying to get someone to patrol her house to make sure that the order of protection had been filed and was there.

She was told to go home and lock her door.

Now, this happened seven years ago.

My question to you, Chief, is whether or not we are sufficiently advanced now in our legal training for law enforcement personnel specific to response to domestic violence situations that that response would not be given.

- Well, clearly it was an inappropriate response.

The Violence Against Women Act that was passed by Congress, there's been a substantial amount of money that has come down to the various states.

Over the past eight years, the city of Spartanburg has realized over $2.1 million in grants.

When an officer responds to a domestic violence call, he or she is the first responder.

How they handle that initial call determines what happens subsequent to that event.

And you're exactly right, training is key.

We have been fortunate in Spartanburg to have those kinds of grants to train our officers, and we have to train them over and over again.

We think we have seen some results from that.

We have had an Office of Domestic Violence for approximately eight years that has a trained investigator, that has an advocate who follows through, who works with the officers, and on the serious calls comes out in the middle of the night to ensure that the proper process takes place.

We're also fortunate, as the Attorney General mentioned, our solicitor has, in fact, appointed an assistant solicitor to work with our magistrates and municipal court.

It has helped us enormously, and it's very important.

The grant money that we receive, we do not just use it for law enforcement, we use it to share with Safe Homes, who work with shelters and victims counseling, with children counseling to a much lesser extent for batterers.

I mean, the decision as to whether counseling or anything helps batterers is still out.

So our primary focus is certainly on the victimization and the children.

Our concern and frustration and anxiety by young officers who go to these calls is what is it that we need to say and what do we need to do to support victims, to get them to stay with us and get through the court system.

And secondly, to ensure that they take their children to counseling.

All of that is available.

It's just a matter of our having the ability to get them in the right direction.

So to answer your question, a great deal has been done.

And I certainly say to the legislators who are here, I think the state of South Carolina has provided us the tools.

We just need to work with them.

I think we're a model in terms of what we do and how we do.

It's just a few things that we've got to improve.

- Now you represent Spartanburg.

- Yes, ma'am.

- This is not necessarily true of all counties across the state, though.

And as I understand it, that victim assistance money has dried up or is not necessarily available for every county now.

So what do we do, and what do we as concerned citizens do to make sure that those monies are restored or that some funding takes its place so that every citizen can avail themselves of it?

- Well, we're talking about two pots of money.

We're talking about the money from the Department of Justice.

The Department of Public Safety for the state has some of that money.

- Okay.

- Counties can apply for a grant direct from the Department of Justice or from the Department of Public Safety.

There's a second pot of money that goes into each municipality based on convictions of criminals that are withheld for the sole purposes of assisting and helping victims.

How much that is?

Based on the municipality.

It may be significant, and it may not be, but there are some pots.

And, of course, all of us have to be very innovative and determine what our priorities are.

- Now you're back to my question.

What can we as individuals do to assure that, across the board, the various municipalities and counties do take advantage of that?

Vicki?

- You know, I think you've raised a really important issue.

And one of the recommendations that SCCADVASA has made to the CDV study committee is to very carefully review and assess the current training that's being provided to new officers.

We know that over the last couple of years, and this is at the Criminal Justice Academy level, there have been several components of criminal domestic violence training that are no longer offered, either because the VAWA grant was not renewed or because they chose not to pursue that.

But we know that there is a lot that could be done to improve the training, the basic training for young officers.

The other piece we'd like for the study committee to look at is the continuing education for officers who are responding now.

What you get in a basic course may be the very beginning, but when you're actually out on the street and you're making those calls, continued support and education is critically important.

So we want the CDV study committee to look at that and make recommendations as to what might be done to improve the response.

- Thank you.

And, of course, we do want to recognize that those law enforcement officers who respond to those calls are also putting their lives on the line.

We don't, anyway, you know, our criticism of late responses or inappropriate response is in no way minimizes the fact that we recognize that they, too, are putting themselves at risk.

- One other point: we're talking about the government response, but there's never going to be enough money in the government to do all the things that we want to do.

And if we wait on the government, whether it's the federal or the state government, to provide the funds for us to do all that is necessary, we'll never get it done.

I would urge every volunteer, every citizen, everyone who wants to be involved, this is something that everyone can play a role in.

In fact, the most powerful force in our state fighting criminal domestic violence is made up of the volunteer organizations, the shelters, the counselors, other people who are doing it for free.

And this is an issue, it's the number one crime problem in South Carolina, but like a lot of others, it is too big for law enforcement alone to handle.

So there are plenty of things for volunteers and concerned citizens to do, and you can almost just pick one.

There's something that everybody in our state can do, and I'd urge them to find their proper place and get in there and do it.

- And certainly we would refer you to the SCCADVASA website, which is www, I never get the letters right, sccadvasa, and we will have that .org, and we have that on the screen.

Also, if you find yourself in a domestic abuse situation or you are in need of help in the situation, we encourage you to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which is 1-800-799-SAFE.

That's 1-800-799-7233.

You spoke just briefly about the shelters, and we are very fortunate that we have several shelter personnel and others in the helping field here tonight.

I wanna take a look at a very special program in Spartanburg County that shows what happens when a community makes domestic violence a top priority.

Let's take a look.

And that's my director going, "She didn't give me long enough to queue up that tape."

But while we are looking for the Spartanburg tape... - Can I respond while you wait for that?

- Yes.

- I just wanted to make a quick comment following up on the point about resources and all of that.

And everything that has been said is very important, but I wanna make sure one of the points that the chief made doesn't get lost.

And that is this whole need for people to work together.

You are about to show an example from Spartanburg.

Spartanburg County is one of the few counties of the 46 where everybody who is involved in this issue works well together.

What we need to really understand here in South Carolina is that not every county has a chief, has a strong program.

And we have gotta focus on collaboration, coordination, and cooperation because those things will work when money doesn't.

- Absolutely.

And that is one of the reasons we'd like to show this shelter because it is an example of what happens when we all join forces.

Is our tape ready?

Let's take a look.

- [Reporter] The building almost takes up a city block, and its mission is as big as its real estate.

MARYS House is a state-of-the-art facility, a comprehensive service center for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.

- We have this center that's a collaborative center with other partners in the community such as law enforcement, solicitor's office, DSS, Legal Aid, Alcohol and Drug Abuse Commission.

All of us are working together on the issue.

All of us have parts to play, and this center is helping to facilitate collaboration and cooperation between the different entities that are working on the issue.

(telephone ringing) - Thank you for calling SAFE Homes-Rape Crisis Coalition.

This is Christine.

How can I help you?

- [Reporter] Lynn Hawkins spearheaded the concept of the super center.

Her inspiration: a training seminar at a similar family justice facility in San Diego, which reported a 55% drop in the domestic violence homicide rate.

- And they attributed it to the collaborative nature of the work, how they were staffing cases together.

They were in one building.

You know, you see people at lunchtime, you drink coffee in the snack room with them, you talk about things, you get to know each other, you trust each other.

You staff cases together, you work on things together, and less things fall through the cracks.

And to me, it just seemed like such a common-sense approach to the problem.

- [Reporter] Large, spacious rooms have replaced tiny cubbies and two small therapy areas.

Waiting rooms offer more privacy and confidentiality.

There's a playroom for children, a thrift store, and a rabbit warren of hallways that lead to all agencies dealing with domestic abuse.

- We have our thrift store at the other end of the building.

So yes, they can come in and they can get clothes for court or kids' clothes for school if they've had to leave with nothing but the clothes on their back, which happens frequently.

We also have household items and furniture that are donated for people when they move into other housing that we can help with.

We have legal advocates here that can help fill out orders of protection and give people information about what their legal rights are.

We also have therapy.

We have individual and group therapy here.

We have sexual assault as well as domestic violence advocates.

We have our community educators that are out of this building.

- [Reporter] And for victims, MARYS House shows the community cares.

- [Lynn] It was even more important that their perception of this center is that this makes us feel like we're important.

I've heard that more than a dozen times since we've been here.

"This makes us feel important.

This makes us feel like people care."

And I think that's what we have to do as a community, to provide that support and that avenue to safety for victims.

- [Reporter] Lynn says Spartanburg stepped up with its support of this large comprehensive downtown center and has shown domestic violence is a community issue that affects everyone.

- I think that if you really wanna make a difference in the issues of domestic violence and sexual assault, you have to realize that it's a community issue and that it impacts us all.

That it's not something that happens just in individual families and that somebody you don't know.

That it could happen to your family, it could happen to your next-door neighbor, it could happen to somebody in your workplace.

People you know are victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.

There are way too many victims in our community for people not to know that it goes on.

- I think we commend that center, certainly.

However, one of the most horrific endings to any domestic violence story is the death of someone, be it the abused person, the abuser, an innocent bystander, and God forbid, a child.

I'm very deeply concerned because, as we talk about this issue, we always talk about the fact that a woman does not have to take this abuse, that she needs to know that she can leave, that she can find a safe harbor.

And yet, we do know that the incidents of homicide rises proportionately when a woman leaves the situation.

A separated woman is, according to some statistics, up to seven times more likely to be killed at that point.

Do we have the resources in our community to protect these women?

- I'd like to jump in and switch a little bit and talk about, I think, one of the areas that we could still work on legislatively.

It deals with resources.

It deals with something Representative Cobb-Hunter and many of the folks in this room and I have worked on for the last several years, and that's the whole concept of weapons.

You know, the federal law states now, if you've been convicted of a first offense criminal domestic violence, or you've got a restraining order or an order of protection against you, you can't own a handgun.

You have to surrender your firearm.

And gosh, we've been trying for five or six years to get legislation similar to that passed here in South Carolina.

We got very close about two years ago, and the statistics show those states that have been able to pass statewide legislation that will mirror the federal laws have seen, in some cases, double-digit declines in domestic homicides.

And really where they've seen those, where those lives have been saved is what I call on the front end, it's in those situations where protection orders or restraining orders have been issued and they've been able to get the guns out of the hands of the potential offenders.

And certainly that's something, from a legislative standpoint, that we still have some work to do on.

- And if I might add to what Senator Lourie said, that was a part of the legislation we tried to get passed.

This year, we wound up having to drop that out because all the gun rights people came out of the woodwork.

- Yeah.

And in this state, we need to know that.

We need to know what we're saying when we don't institute that kind of thing.

Vicki, did you have a comment?

- Just to go back to the resources question, I think that we still have a great need for additional shelter.

But beyond that, Beryl, I think we're gonna have to provide support to battered women when they leave shelter.

For many, it's a free fall into poverty.

There's not enough housing, there's not enough childcare.

And I don't think we have the right to ask the question, "Why does she go back?"

or "Why doesn't she just leave?"

until we are providing that safety net for her.

And that is a place where we really have some work to do.

And that is in terms of individual responses as well as corporate responses and any organizational response, I would think.

- Right.

- I'd like to add this.

My answer would be yes, we do have the resources, but the next question is, well, where are they?

And they're all over the place.

They just haven't been organized and collaborated, and the people aren't motivated to provide them.

Plenty of people with boxes of clothes sitting in the closet, things they haven't worn in years.

They could be at these shelters.

Plenty of people with time on their hands that could be participating in the shelters.

A lot of people giving money to a lot of things that they could very much better spend you know, supporting some of these groups that are supporting these people.

So the resources are out there.

The question is motivating the people and inspiring the people to put it in the right place.

- And I hope we do that.

- One of the things that we had to recognize in Spartanburg County was: are we willing to be viewed from outside eyes?

Are we willing to come to the table and look at our vulnerabilities?

So we decided yes.

And as a result of that, we did what you would call a safety audit that brought the judges, the solicitor's office, Safe Homes, and the family court judges.

And we all talked, we all got an assessment, and these are your weaknesses, these are your strengths.

And I think once you allow that kind of review and assessment, it is easier to proceed on a path to begin to correct those issues.

The problem in a lot of places is that people are not willing to accept that kind of observation that ultimately winds up in writing.

And I think that's what spurred a lot of the cooperation and activity that exists.

Trey Gowdy, our solicitor, appoint a solicitor for the municipal and magistrate courts, I think was extraordinary.

It's important.

It has helped, as the Attorney General has said.

So those are the kinds of things that, is there a foolproof way of protecting people?

No.

But to the extent that we're able to utilize the resources and look at ourselves and what we do and how we do it, I think we can improve substantially.

- Yes.

Did you have a response?

- Just picking up on what the Attorney General said, for any of the viewers out there that have a cellular phone that sits in a closet or in a desk drawer that they haven't used... - One of those old ones that they've tossed while they got that new model, right?

- Well, and you know, the new models come out a lot.

But when the old models are sitting out there, whether it's on Verizon Wireless's system or anyone else's, bring it to a Verizon Wireless store.

What we do with those is we resell those products, and we take those funds and then offer those monies back to the shelters in terms of grants.

So that's how any individual citizen can help.

- We appreciate those suggestions.

I'm going to speak right now to a young lady who's with us.

This is Vicki Mayer from Greenville, and her sister was a victim of domestic homicide a couple of years ago.

Vicki, I know that one of the things that has really plagued you and your family personally, well, two of the things: one, that your sister did not share with you the extent of abuse that she was undergoing, and secondly, that when there was a warrant taken out, as we have heard the law enforcement people suggest, the counties did not seem to offer the kind of reciprocity in that the warrant was taken out in one county, the perpetrator was hiding out in another, the actual homicide took place in a third county.

Would you speak to that?

- Yeah, it's been hard on the family not understanding why one county was told by another county where the perpetrator was at two weeks prior to my sister being murdered, and they would not cooperate.

And I'm wondering, is there legislation out there where the counties do cooperate, or was this a one-time incident?

- Is there reciprocity among municipalities and counties as regards warrants and orders of protection?

- I would think that commonly, in all respects, the jurisdiction where the warrant is issued out, that the officers or investigators of that jurisdiction can go to another jurisdiction, meet or ask for assistance in serving the warrant.

It is not necessary just to ship the warrant.

They can accompany the warrant to ensure the service of it.

Why that happened?

I am unsure how that could happen, but I would think that perhaps now it's unlikely to happen.

- Let's hope not.

Mr.

Smith, I'm gonna come back to you because one other area that crops up constantly is the fact that in many cases women may go to their spiritual advisors, religious leaders, pastors, et cetera, and oftentimes the response has been preserve the family, preserve the unit, honor thy husband in this case, go back and tough it out, you can make this work.

Does the religious community have a particular responsibility here?

- Yes, I do.

As a matter of fact, if nobody else had brought it up, I was gonna bring up the faith communities because I sort of serve two roles.

I work full time at Compass of Carolina and their family violence intervention program, but I'm also a bivocational pastor.

I'm one of those Southern Baptist pastors.

It's part of the largest denomination in this state.

We can make a real difference in our churches, in our synagogues, in our mosques, if we will simply say to that victim, "We believe you, we trust you, and we're gonna support you.

We're not gonna push you down.

We're not gonna hit you while you're down.

We're gonna support you.

We're gonna be in your corner."

And I think, on the other hand, we also have to be willing to say to that perpetrator, "We stand against what you've done."

Alright?

There is a way to bring redemption into this situation, but you don't bring redemption by sugarcoating what's happened.

You have got to be willing to say to those folks who do the hurting, "We understand you may be hurting, but we're not gonna support you doing this.

We're gonna stand against you doing this.

We're gonna help you move beyond it, but we're never gonna stand by and watch you do this and accept that that's part of your role as a husband."

You know, I don't know of any religious body, I don't know of any faith community, that says it's okay to hurt your partner or hurt your children.

It's not okay.

And we need to be able to say that from our pulpits.

We need to say it in the living rooms with people as we sit and talk with them.

And we need to be able to say it in our pastor's offices.

We're not gonna stand for this.

I heard somebody make the statement about what would happen if, in a counseling situation, a batterer was talking to his pastor and he got angry at his pastor and he hit that pastor.

What would that pastor call for to be done?

He said, "Well, I'd have to have him removed from my church."

Well, that's probably the appropriate thing to do.

Well, if it's appropriate for our pastors to do that, it ought to be appropriate for our churches to say to that batterer, "We're not gonna stand for this.

You need to stop this."

- Let's also talk about the issue of what the responsibility of those of us who just happen to be there.

You know, there is this tendency to say, "This isn't my problem.

I don't know anybody who gets abused.

My friends are not in this category.

I'm not abused.

And therefore those people need to deal with that."

What is the appropriate response for each of us here in this room and watching this program if we recognize the signs, if we've got that coworker who comes in with the dark glasses on in the middle of the winter, you know, if we've got the coworker who has fallen down the steps or who's been at the emergency room four times in the last two months, what should we do?

- First of all, I think what we have to understand is that there are different manners in which the battery can occur.

There's sexual battery, there's physical battery, and there's psychological or emotional battery.

And for all of us to think that we can pick up on all of the signals is probably a bit much.

But once it is recognized, from the medical standpoint, the only incident that is required reporting for physicians is if they suspect that a child is being abused, and they have to report it either to legal services, to law enforcement, or to DSS.

But there has been no requirement for medical personnel to report abuse for adults.

And so it is incumbent upon us to be able to step in and try to find support services that can be used, if nothing more than to suggest to the person that's being abused that they need to seek counseling.

If you can get them into counseling, they can begin to work with them because oftentimes they will not get out of the situation because they don't have the financial means, or they feel that because of the years of abuse they've been experiencing, that if they could just do a little bit better job, that, you know, they deserve this in some way, shape or fashion, that they can do a little bit better job, then the battery will stop and their partner will be more pleased with them.

- You know, I'm wondering, is there anything wrong with, you know, maybe you don't feel comfortable talking to the person in the next cubicle about what's going on, but it doesn't hurt for you to slip that SCADVASA card on their desk or maybe to send them an anonymous note or something to let them know that help is available?

- That's exactly right, Beryl.

And I would just suggest to anybody out there who's watching that they do two things.

First and foremost is find the patience that they may not have.

Because in working with battered women, you've gotta have a lot of patience.

And there are a whole lot of reasons for that.

"Why people stay?"

is the automatic question.

There are a number of reasons for that.

The other is to try very hard not to judge that person.

Why she chose, you know, all of that.

And then I would suggest to anybody out there watching who believes that he or she does not know a battered woman, I would suggest to you, you probably do know someone who's battered.

But for all of the things that have already been said, you need to just try to be sensitive to that whole scene.

But each of us has a responsibility, even if it's something as small as not tolerating a battered woman's joke at a social event.

I mean, we have such a permissive society.

On one hand, the things we tolerate amazes me, and then when we think about what offends us on the other hand, it's like night and day.

But there are a lot of things that all of us can do.

And before we point the finger, I would suggest that each of us look in the mirror and ask that face in the mirror, "What have you done?

What are you doing to make a difference?"

- I would appreciate that too.

Yes.

Oh, we need a mic here.

- I also wanted to speak to the women who are gonna be watching and hearing, for them to understand that it may seem scary and a risk, but for them to break the silence and reach out to someone they trust, be it a domestic violence program, someone from the faith community, a trusted sister.

But at Sistercare, where I work, we know it's so important to take that first step, which is very difficult.

And for those women who are watching, for us to say to them, we appreciate the danger in that.

But when we all think ourselves about, when we're embarrassed or ashamed or we feel guilty or responsible, we don't tell our coworker or our clergy or our mother.

And many of the women at Sistercare work with don't tell their dads because one thing that dad or that father is gonna do, he's gonna kill that man.

And that woman is protective of the family and won't share because we do hear so often what we were hearing earlier, that the battered woman is so reluctant to talk to the family, to break out.

But again, it's a sense of, like the physician was talking about, Dr.

Wilson, about the psychological abuse.

I've not worked with a woman who's physically abused that has not been emotionally or psychologically abused.

That's so important.

And he's so savvy to know to do it.

That's what holds her in that relationship.

Again, if you're feeling so embarrassed, so guilty, so responsible as a battered woman is.

So anyway, my message is to some of the women who may be here tonight listening.

- Thank you.

And the other part of that is the admission that you actually are being abused.

And if someone could just speak very briefly to recognizing those signs.

And Tabitha, if you could get here very quickly with the mic, the young lady on the back row right in the center there.

Recognizing that no, this is not normal, that that individual does not have the right, and that you do have worth.

- Definitely some of the signs are, you know, in the beginning it's not that that abuser comes in with a big sign, but they, you know, become, with jealousy, wanting to know where you are at all times because "I love you," not because "I'm looking out for you."

And you know, just wanting to know where they are at all times, saying that, "Well, this is love," isolating them, taking them away from friends and family, making sure that they don't have contact with people that care about them that might intervene, maintaining power and control, deciding when and where we're gonna do things, what we're gonna do.

All those things are signals.

- Those seemingly innocuous acts are often the signs that tell us that abuse is prevalent.

At this point, folks, all I can do is say, please recognize that domestic violence is a problem that affects all of us.

Please bring your resources to bear, even if it's just a shoulder to cry on, but more likely put your hands to work.

We are very fortunate tonight because we have with us singer and songwriter Danielle Howle, who responded to this crisis in the way that only she knew how.

That is, she has written the theme song for our program.

She's established a musical liturgy which will go along with recognizing domestic violence and also paying homage to those who were victims.

We are also very grateful because at this point we are going to show to you the names of those domestic violence, domestic homicide victims simply from South Carolina over the past three years.

As we do this, please recognize that each of these individuals was someone's loved one, and join the fight to end domestic violence.

Thank you, and goodnight.

♪ Remember my name ♪ ♪ Because I can't right now ♪ ♪ Remember myself ♪ ♪ I'm trying ♪ ♪ Darkness can grow ♪ ♪ If you let some things go ♪ ♪ Tripping through the roads ♪ ♪ Of the hurt parts in you ♪ ♪ The last time ♪ was the last time ♪ ♪ And the last time ♪ was the last time ♪ ♪ And the first time ♪ is the next time ♪ ♪ Where did the last time go ♪ ♪ You promised with your love ♪ ♪ I believed that you wouldn't ♪ ♪ The hurting is wrong ♪ ♪ How could you hurt me ♪ ♪ I am gonna leave ♪ ♪ But I freeze between ♪ doubt and disbelief ♪ ♪ There's how I breathe ♪ to keep it calm ♪ ♪ Remember ♪ ♪ The last time ♪ was the last time ♪ ♪ And the next time ♪ is the last time ♪ ♪ Where did the last time go ♪ ♪ Remember my name ♪ ♪ Can you see where I am ♪ ♪ And speak but I can't ♪ ♪ Give me rest ♪ ♪ Give me rest ♪ ♪ Help me know ♪ ♪ I can't see ♪ change is possible ♪ ♪ Alone without love ♪ is hard for me ♪ ♪ I may be your friend ♪ ♪ But he'll just find me again ♪ ♪ Believe I'm not free ♪ ♪ There's no protection ♪ ♪ Oh, the last time ♪ is the last time ♪ ♪ And the next time ♪ is the last time ♪ ♪ Where did the last time go ♪ ♪ Remember my name ♪ ♪ Remember my name ♪