(gentle music) - [Man] The employees at Pineland Farms, Natural Meats have seen how substance use disorder can adversely affect our families and communities.

And we are pleased to sponsor the documentary series, "Voices of Hope, The Rugged Road to Recovery."

We applaud the people who bravely tell their stories, which help us better understand the disease model of addiction, while also identifying positive roots for recovery.

(gentle music) (waves crashing) (gentle music) - [Narrator] Beyond Maine's beautiful landscape there's a dark, desperate crisis, a substance abuse epidemic.

We set out to capture the faces and stories caught up in it and discovered there is a science to addiction.

There is also a way out.

These are the, "Voices of Hope."

(gentle music) (birds chirping) From seeking a high to seeking an escape from self, experts in addiction site five underlying reasons for addiction, trauma, co-occurring mental disorder, such as anxiety, depression or bipolar, sexual and gender issues, genetics and prescription drugs.

(gentle music) (birds chirping) (gentle music) - That summer before I went into freshman year in high school, is when I started trying Adderall, Vicodin, cocaine, ecstasy, like anything I get my hands on, I did it and would've done it, just to get outta myself.

I was just looking to not have to deal with me, myself and my life.

- My freshman year, I had gotten into this really bad pattern, I looked awful.

Like I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating, I knew I looked bad.

I looked so bad that I was begging and hoping that somebody would say something to me, just anything.

I was just hoping somebody would care.

But all I wanted was a hug or someone to eat lunch with me or sort of greater acknowledgement.

And it was in that exact instance that I was like, nobody cares, I'm going all in.

- I started to rebel in school.

I started to fight in school.

I started to not do what I was told.

I never did any school work and I struggled in school.

I never felt like I was smart enough.

I never felt like I could do well.

So the anxiety around not being enough, forced me to not try.

- I'm acutely aware of the flesh prison I'm trapped in.

And I think the desire for escape from that is something that ultimately led me to drinking.

(birds chirping) - The first time I tried heroin, I think from that day on that morning, when I woke up, stood on my feet and asked my mom for $20, I think that's when I was like slowly putting on those shackles and cuffs to my addiction.

- This whole idea of, I just wanted to be on my own.

I wanted everyone to leave me alone so that I could drink and use the way I wanted to.

I thought, you know, oh, well, I'm free, like, I have to get more free, I have to get to where I wanna be.

But the jail a of addiction just, I was going backwards from the goal that I really wanted.

- Drinking felt at the time, like something that was giving me more freedom.

Like it felt like it was giving me freedom to be social in situations that I wouldn't normally have felt comfortable doing it.

And I, I didn't see it at all then, but looking back on it, it was like the more I relied on the drinking, the more it was actually like it was taking the freedom away from me to be able to do anything without it.

- The longer that I used drugs and drank, the less freedom I had because I couldn't do what I wanted anymore.

I woke up in the morning and I was like, my first thought would be, how are you going to get a drink in your system, or how are you gonna do drugs?

So, there's really no freedom about it.

Once I got into my 20s, because I didn't feel like I had a choice anymore.

- The process of addiction, you know, starts out because the drug is so rewarding in the beginning.

And then it becomes like a prison sentence.

You're imprisoned in your own mind.

You're trapped in these compulsive behaviors that you're doing because your brain just is constantly craving the drug.

You don't even enjoy using it anymore.

- I guess I was searching for an escape with drugs and alcohol, but for a long time, I don't think I knew what that cycle was gonna look like, that I was imprisoning myself, I didn't understand that.

I didn't ever know that there would be so much torment associated with the escape.

I spent my 23rd birthday later that year, followed by the 24th, 25th, 26th, 27th and 28th birthdays in prison, in treatment or in sober living.

- I was definitely a prisoner at drugs.

And I felt like I had to use it every day.

And if I didn't have it, I would go crazy.

And I would have chase for it, chase for it, chase for it.

- I did feel like a prisoner even when I was using drugs, because you're just locked in with yourself.

And I was always isolating and drowning myself in alcohol and drugs and just being alone, like just not wanting to feel.

- It was slow and subtle, but it was building walls around myself they were both disconnecting me from other people and keeping me away from really being able to like enjoy the things that I loved.

- Addiction to me feels like, I can't stop thinking about it, I'm trying to put money together to figure out if I have enough to be able to get the next amount.

It's constant anxiety.

- Even being outside of an actual jail or prison, I've always kind of felt that I was in a prison, I guess.

And mainly in my head, you know, mental, emotional, spiritual prison, I guess.

(gentle music) - My poor father tried so hard to drag me out of places, you know, find me, search me down, push me into detox again, and I'd just leave detox, and I'd find a way out because the obsession to use and abuse, crack cocaine and heroin, was so powerful that I could not stop, lying, cheating, stealing, manipulating, doing things that I am very ashamed of today that I did.

I'll never forget the first time that he drove me to detox.

And I'm surrounded by these people who I am nothing like, in my mind, they're all heroin addicts, they're all, you know, crack heads and not what I was at the time, or thought I was.

And I did not think I was going down the road toward that in any way.

I was convinced that I would never do those things.

Come to find out later on, I was very wrong about that.

(gentle music) - The lengths that our brain goes to, to try to explain the behaviors that are driven by addiction is really a result of us having this big cortex that allows us to make sense of the world.

And so it's not surprising that someone with addiction tries to make sense of what they're going through and can come up with lots of explanations and justifications for their behaviors, when they're driven by something that's really beyond of conscious control.

- I had been drinking when I wasn't supposed to be.

And when I was then with my girlfriend, she could tell I was off.

And rather than admit to having been drinking, I let her like, believe that there was something mentally wrong with me, like that I was having a stroke or something.

And so she took me to the emergency department, my family, they were like, "You should probably go see a neurologist then, "like, if you think that's what happened."

So I work at a hospital and like basically said, yeah, okay, I know a neurologist, I'll go in, I'll see my PCP I'll get like blood work done all of that.

So I said, I was gonna do all of that.

And told myself, all right, well, if they were gonna draw blood, like, there'd be evidence of that.

So I initially said to myself, all right, maybe they would just do a pin prick on my finger.

So, I took a Thumbtack and pricked my finger to have evidence of that.

And then I said to myself later, actually, if they were gonna do blood work, they would do like the whole arm blood draw.

And so I did the same thing with my arm.

Which is harder than you would think.

It takes a lot of work to put a Thumbtack into your arm.

But I did it, and none of this felt crazy to me.

- It's interesting how stigmatizing addiction is that people would rather call it medical or mental health problems rather than an addiction problem.

And kind of the lengths that someone will go to, to convince themselves that it's not an addiction that's leading to these behaviors.

It's almost like the smarter you are, the more compelling the reasons and the bigger manipulations you can make to achieve the goals.

And that can backfire because people will think that someone is lying and cheating because they are a bad person, rather than they are lying and cheating 'cause they're a person with a bad disease.

- [Narrator] Doctors now refer to it as a brain disease, acknowledging addiction is a chronic and often treatable medical condition, involving changes to circuits in the brain involved in reward stress and self-control.

- Our brains are constantly changing and adapting.

So if you're using a drug and it's having this intense effect on your functioning and it's changing your personality and your behaviors, of course, that means it's changing your brain.

There are so many changes.

There's something called a T2 image on MRI, which can show you white matter changes in the brain, which is more subtle.

White matter is like the coating around the nerves.

And you can see changes, especially in young people, who are using various drugs, to the white matter.

And it's sort of fascinating from a scientific perspective, but you don't want to be that individual that is interfering with your brain's ability to process information because you thinned out white matter in certain areas of your brain.

(gentle music) (birds chirping) (waves crashing) - In December, 2014, I'd been in jail for about a week.

And I found out that I had the opportunity to get high and that somebody had some heroin and I was in the process of getting high in jail.

And another gentleman, he got high before I did, and he ended up overdosing and passing away.

I really had to sit there and take it all in and something just clicked in my head, and I said, man, I have, I have a chance, I have another chance, I don't know why I have another chance, but I do.

So what am I gonna do with it?

And that's when really everything changed.

(birds chirping) - I just knew that like this was, if I didn't do it this time, it was over for me.

I know what my life will look like, I will be dead, I will be in prison, if I'm not dead.

(door lock buzzing) - I would still like to think that I can control my life, but I really can't.

I need that something that's bigger than me, that I either look up to, talk to, pray to, meditate to.

For me, everybody's different, but that's what my recovery he looks like.

And if I don't have that and I'm not sober, then everything else is gone or will be gone very soon.

- The reason why it's different this time around for me is because I've done this before, over and over and over again, and the jail life is just not what I want anymore.

This is tiring, like, I wanna get sober, I'm tired of having to wake up to and get through my day, relying on a drug or alcohol just to get through the day.

Like, I wanna wake up and generally be happy to start my day without having to alter my feelings.

(gentle music) - 2001, when I was here, I was incarcerated within this facility with my brother who ended up going out to the pre-release out front.

I went out to the street, he went out there and he overdosed and passed away.

So that kinda, that really, it should have woken me up.

- My father died of an aneurysm very suddenly, he was 64-years-old.

I was 57 days sober when he passed away.

And I did not know how to manage those feelings and emotions without drugs and alcohol.

I was able to stay abstinent from drugs for eight months.

And that was my longest stint of abstinence prior to my recovery now.

I picked up right where I left off and I started using in a way that didn't even know existed.

I overdosed 13 times, I was dead on arrival nine times.

It was my final crossroads.

I knew that if I did not get sober this time, I was going to die a drug addict.

And it was going to be a very painful, slow death.

(gentle music) - And I was just like, this just is never gonna work out for me.

I'm never going to like be able to get sober.

And I ended up having like one last night and it was like two or three days of a complete blackout.

And I came to it in Spring Harbor, the mental hospital.

That was like the lowest point where I thought to myself, if they let me out of this hospital, I'm not gonna survive.

And that was when I decided to go to long term treatment.

- My recovery was very difficult.

Nobody has an easy recovery.

Nobody can just wake up and be like, "Whoa, that's it, "I'm not gonna use anymore.

I figured it out."

And if there are people like that, then good for them.

But that wasn't my experience.

When I was in Spring Harbor, I remember telling one of the nurses that I was there because I wanted to get sober.

And she looked at me, she was like, "Do you know how hard that is?"

I was like, I don't care, I'm here to get sober, this is what I wanna do.

She's like, "Do you realize how much "reprogramming of your brain you have to do?"

And I leaned in and I said, I don't care, I'm here to get sober and I'll do whatever it takes.

(gentle music) - There's help, there's hope, you don't need to live the rest of your life like this.

It starts with acknowledging that you want change, that you're miserable and you want out of this life, you're sick and tired of being sick and tired.

But by seeking help and going into recovery, you know, you're really gonna take a look at your psychology and your life history and your trauma and you sort of gotta break down how it is we can interfere with this process from trigger to, you know, you using, what happens, you know, mentally during that chain and where can we intervene to stop it?

(gentle music) (waves crashing) (gentle music) - So when I was in my darkest moments and felt so alone, I thought nobody in the world could identify with how I felt, what I'd done.

And I think that was really just part of the sickness I was experiencing, and my kind of delusional ways of thinking.

And as soon as I was willing to reach out and ask for a little bit of help, people were there.

I just had to take the first step and do it because nobody was ever really able to help me until I was a little bit willing to accept that help.

- I was willing and broken.

It was desperation.

It was all very horrible internal emotions that I was brought to through my addiction.

I would say that, the desire for a new way is what that intangible thing was.

It was desperation for anything but what I had been living.

And in turn for that desperation, that's why they call it, "The gift of desperation."

I had been introduced to Alcoholics Anonymous for many years, I was very familiar with the program.

I thought I knew what the 12 steps were, and I was very wrong about that.

But I've come to realize now that there it is a lot more complex than reading steps off of a, of a poster board on a wall.

My sponsor helped me to believe that I'm worthy of this too.

And I can recover just like anybody else can.

I didn't believe it right away.

And it took a long time to get there.

But I finally started to reap the benefits that this work did for me.

(gentle music) - You know, the recovery process for me has required me to do so much work on myself that I never would've done, unless it was like a requirement for me to stay sane and alive.

People say addiction is the opposite of connection, I believe that to be true.

But it's also, you know, I'm a fiercely independent person and I don't like to be told what to do, but I also had to realize that like, I have weaknesses that I need other people to help me with.

And by being honest, with more people, they're more able to help me.

- What it really came down to was a sense of empowerment that I never had.

In school, I always felt dumb 'cause they kept telling me I was in lower classes than I should have been.

In my family, I always felt scared and afraid.

And the world kept making me feel so many things that didn't wanna feel that I realized my only opportunity to have a shot at life was to do something that would empower me.

And that no matter what happens in this world, I've given myself a gift that nobody could ever take away.

- It was more to the end game was that I saw other people that seemed free.

They were calm, they had purpose, they had direction.

They just seemed happy, right, and very content and fulfilled.

And it was that, that I had so desperately wanted my whole life.

And it was that, that I had sought through drugs and alcohol that gave me glimpses of that feeling, but never really held true.

(gentle music) - I'm involved in 12 step recovery.

I have regular meetings.

I have people that I'm in close contact with who are, you know, people further along the line than me, or, you know, have strung together more sober days than I have, and people with fewer.

I think being part of that community is really helpful for me.

There's act of work as part of that, you know, the actual 12 steps of 12 step recovery helps me to better understand myself, to also kind of clear up some of the wreckage of my past so that I can kinda move forward in a way that, you know, I feel good about myself.

- Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous has saved my life before and I know I can do it again.

Getting a sponsor is really important.

Having someone to talk to all the time when you're having a hard time, it's always good to have someone that's there to listen to you, rather than facing things on your own.

- And it was just like, God moment after God moment.

Like things lined up, I was able to go get help.

And I was sick, I had withdrawals like I had in the past.

It wasn't like a fun experience.

And I went to a 12 step retreat.

And for the first time, actually, you would think that I would've seen it before, but the disease model was explained to me.

- The chronic use of substances does damage the brain.

There are connections that are lost.

There is loss of receptor density.

Dopamine in systems are out of balance.

There are a lot of changes that happen.

And as a consequence, when they stop using nothing is enjoyable, nothing is pleasurable, nothing gives them the same effect that, that substance had given them.

They are in a hypodopaminergic state, where they don't get pleasure from anything.

It's very challenging to go on.

(people speaking indistinctly) - My program or my prescription for staying healthy has changed a lot over the last, almost, seven years.

And I started with AA, liked it, you know, it wasn't my full source.

What I personally do is I have a really great community of women that I study the Bible with and we walk through life together, and that is a very replenishing source for me.

That's a very incredible source for me is to have them in my life.

- And it took a very long time for me to reach that place where the desperation was that intense, that I could then become willing and surrender to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

And this is where the divine intervention from God came into play for me.

I cannot describe this to anyone.

I really can't understand it myself completely, I have tried.

I know today that no human power on this earth could get me sober.

There isn't a single person, place or a thing that is going to get me sober.

A power greater than me, I choose to call it God.

Is it God?

I don't know.

But it is something out there that is bigger than I am that intervened and gave me the ability to be teachable, to become willing, to surrender and get out of my own way.

(gentle music) (birds chirping) - I went to rehab and I really just started listening to people that had been in the place I was in that moment.

Maybe not that exact place, but a place in their life where they thought nothing could get better.

And they were really just looking down and tired of living a certain way.

And they started to guide me and really just kind of gimme suggestions of how I could get well on the inside, not on the outside, not trying to make everything look well on the outside, like I had done in the past, like put on the show that everything's okay.

- While I was there, they really set the foundation of being honest and getting back in line with my moral compass and my values.

It's never gonna be as bad as you think it is, if you tell the truth.

Because it's those like secrets and trying to cover stuff up that will just, I would've relapsed again.

And who knows if I'd still be sober today, if I didn't get honest about that.

- I eventually developed this life that I was like, this feels sustainable to me.

Like this feels good.

I started sponsoring other women and I started helping other women.

And I felt like I was finally on like this path that I could keep walking on.

I didn't feel the need to, there's nothing I need to run from, there's nothing that I can't approach like head on.

(gentle music) (birds chirping) - I was introduced to a group of people whose lives had dramatically changed as a result of applying, by working the 12 steps and applying the 12 steps to their everyday life.

I was quite taken back by their sincerity, their knowledge, their ability to, sort of, explain my disease from personal experience, in a way that no doctor or therapist had ever been able to really reach me with, and break it down in a way that like really made sense.

(birds chirping) (waves crashing) - Now freedom has evolved to be, really nothing is gonna dictate what I have to do.

Wake up in the morning and not have to think about drinking or getting high and to sit there with a cup of coffee and have my brain be quiet while I say a prayer, do a meditation.

I can go where I want.

I can be whatever I wanna be.

And there's really no limits.

(gentle music) (birds chirping) - Sponsoring other women has been a huge part of my recovery program.

Giving somebody else hope and showing somebody else the way that was so freely shown to me, is what makes this program tick, it's what makes it work.

I can relate to these girls that I work with, they can relate to me, they believe me.

I think that I'm here and that my purpose is to carry the message of hope.

And try to reach out to people who are suffering and show them away out.

And also to help women who are going through the horrible things that we go through on the streets and in the depths of drug addiction.

I feel like that's my purpose.

My purpose is to send a message of hope to whoever needs it, parents, spouses, children of drug addicts and alcoholics.

They deserve it.

And if we're alive and our heart is beating, there's hope.

(birds chirping) - The first time I really felt like I had arrived to my recovery, the first time I really felt it in my soul, I was two and a half years sober at the time, and I went to Ireland and it was beautiful and it was amazing.

And I was on the west coast of Ireland and we were driving through these beautiful hills and valleys.

And I saw all these sheep farms and I saw all this beautiful scenery.

And I looked out over the coast and I just started crying because I couldn't believe that I was alive to experience it.

(gentle music) And I just sat on that tour bus sobbing with all of these friends I had made, and I realized what a blessing it was just to have the opportunity to try at life, let alone getting a second chance.

(gentle music) (car engine revving) I was one of the first girls that walked into the Day One residence and completed the program.

Especially as an adolescent, I needed to be away from my family and be somewhere safe and have the opportunities that were given to me here.

So I'm not sure what my recovery would look like without Day One, because it allotted me the time and space to be able to build a very firm foundation.

(door bell ringing) - Hey, Molly.

- Hello.

- Regardless of how things are going, we're like.

Day One is very unique for the state of Maine because we are the only organization that has residential substance use treatment for teenagers.

- [Narrator] Kristen Cianelli is program manager for Day One's residential facilities, one in Hinckley for teenage boys, the other in New Gloucester for teenage girls.

- Here at our residential facility, we have girls come to us as early as 13-years-old and as old up through 'til about 18-years-old.

And that is a extremely important time of development in their lives.

They're trying to figure out who they are.

And in the midst of trying to figure out who they are, they have substances on board.

Here, they wake up, they have a hygiene routine, they get ready for school, they have some school time.

They have structured break.

After school, they have group.

In the middle of school, they also have group.

In the evening, they might have an AA meeting or a peer recovery coach that they meet with, or a therapy session or a art project that they're working on.

And over the weekend, it's not just, "Let's sit around and connect with friends."

It's also, you know, "Let's go out for a rec activity, "let's get our bodies moving.

"Let's think about the connection between the body, "the mind and our experiences in life.

"Like what brings us joy and fulfillment."

(gentle upbeat music) - [Molly] Hi.

- In our residential facilities and a lot of the clients we serve at Day One, it's the kids who are really have gone to an extreme disadvantage, if you will, due to their upbringing and then getting into substance use.

- [Narrator] Dr. Jeffrey Aalberg, a family practice physician, is Day One's medical director.

- I just didn't realize the magnitude of substance use, substance use disorder, sometimes to an extreme extent out in the environment.

And as a family doc, the most startling thing that I've seen, and have seen, continue to see, is the multi-generational challenges that these kids have.

Many have gotten to where they're at with substance use, because perhaps their parents led 'em in that direction.

Sometimes grandparents, certainly other relatives have been really the start of their use in too many cases.

- As a client moves through the program and is doing better.

We give them what we're calling our bedroom three or our senior resident room.

So this is one of our standard rooms.

(gentle upbeat music) For a lot of these young people, this time in this space is enough time to remove them from their environment, to get them asking questions about the things that they actually like, they actually want to continue for their future.

A lot of them haven't thought a lot about their future.

And that's what we get to do here, is we get to imagine what could life be?

It can be this, but it could be something else, and what do you want that, and how to get you to that path, if that's where you wanna go?

- To be able to look at these young lives and say, no matter where you are, you are worth more than the moon and the stars.

And to be able to tell them how important they are is something that I think everybody needs.

(gentle music) (vehicle engines revving) - You need to be aware that this affects everyone, every walk of life, every population.

You can't tell when someone's in treatment with me, because they look like anyone else who's out walking the street.

People just say that, "Well, nothing's working "because the numbers are going up."

And I think that's really an unfair conclusion to come to because the lethality of the opioids that we see now is entirely different than what I saw, you know, 10 years ago, where, you know, I didn't have patients overdose and die that often at that period of time.

It was largely heroin.

If somebody did overdose, it took, you know, one or two doses of Narcan to reverse their overdose.

Now, I almost never see heroin, I almost exclusively see fentanyl or one of the fentanyl analogs that's similar.

And you know, it requires six, eight, 10 doses of Narcan to reverse folks out.

In other words, save their lives.

(birds chirping) - [Narrator] Dr. Alane O'Connor is the addiction medicine lead at Kennebec Behavioral Health in Skowhegan.

- I travel an hour and a half each way, twice a week, to come to work here because I love what I do, and these are my people.

I'm from rural Maine, and this is where I'm supposed to be, these are the people I'm supposed to be serving.

And really this is the sort of frontline, the hard edge of the substance use disorder epidemic in the state.

I have a situation from, you know, patient in the past that, you know, she was so sick and so scared and so overwhelmed and needed treatment.

And her dad basically put her in his vehicle, they came in, he was practically like lugging her in because she was in full blown opioid withdrawal.

And full blown opioid withdrawal is like laying on the floor, she's riving in because every muscle in her body hurts.

She's throwing up everywhere.

She hasn't slept for two days.

I mean, you know, the idea that this person could function, you know, in this state of full blown opioid withdrawal is just nonsensical, frankly.

You know, I can see the tears and his eyes just, you know, and I'm just like, it's okay, we're gonna figure this out.

And I told him, you know, there's this medication that I'm going to use and, you know, it's gonna change everything.

And, you know, he had never heard of the medication.

I said, just bear with me, I know this feels really bad, but we're gonna get through it.

So I sent a prescription, you know, of the Suboxone to the pharmacy, you know, and I called them, you know, four or six hours later when I was home that evening, and I just, you know, how you doing, dad, just wanna check in.

He said, "That's an amazing thing, that medication."

He said, you know, "My daughter went from what, "you know, you saw earlier on the floor, "riving in pain and vomiting and everything else "to being normal and functional again."

There's so many good cases and there's so many situations where you bring hope to patients and to families.

You're part of a human story in a way that probably nobody else has ever been part of their story.

I mean, I know patients deepest, darkest secrets, and I'm honored that they have the courage to share that with me.

(car engine revving) (gentle music) - I have a young patient that we worked with for probably five or six months, who recently passed away just this past weekend.

I learned about it, you know, when I sat down on my couch and opened up my computer.

We knew she was really struggling, the last couple weeks, it had gotten pretty bad and she was using most of the time, using more often than not, I would say.

So most of the times when she came in, she was positive.

But she was still trying to get better.

And I think one of the hardest parts is working with folks who just, you know, desperate, I think it's, for lack of a better way to put it.

I mean, she just was struggling.

Like, you could just almost see her hanging on with like her fingers.

But it's hard every time.

And it's the young lives of young people.

I mean, I think about 30s, she was a mom, had recently gotten back in contact with her children and then, you know, to die after that, I feel like for her, for her family, for our community, for her kids, you know, 'cause I just can't imagine what that must be like.

She leaves you, she comes back, she leaves you for good.

It's just the whole way it's affecting like the fabric of our state, really, for lack of a better way to put it, is remarkable and horrible.

And I think to some extent, people just feel like it's just one more.

And I just, it's hard.

And don't know.

I feel like society's starting to pay attention, but you know, I was talking to my dad, the other day on the phone, and he's like, "I don't get it Alane, like 500 people die, "you know, a year."

Like if this was some other thing, you know, people would be up in arms and just, you know, doing everything they could to make it better.

(gentle music) It's 5:00 a.m. People ask me, "How do you deal with this work every day?"

And my answer is my Peloton, my bike.

I start every morning on the bike and it's the way that I just sort of start the day.

It gives me the energy to go into the day, to sort of put the shield back on and walk out and see patients and do what I do.

(gentle music) I ride for typically about an hour and it launches my brain, it gets me going, it turns things on, makes me like able to go about my day and start doing things.

But I think it also helps get out, I mean, frankly, if I'm carrying stuff from the day before, like it lets me sort of work that through.

And you know, there have been many and hours that I cried most of the ride.

You just have to have a way to let the body cope with it almost.

I mean the energy that from the stress or the trauma that you take in, or, you know, you just, you have to have some way to sort of get rid of that.

(gentle music) (door lock buzzing) - With Medication Assisted Treatment, and there are a variety of drugs that can be used to address this, depending on what level of addiction and what will work for that particular individual.

- [Narrator] Arlene Jacques is in charge of programming at the Cumberland County Jail.

She's also in charge of the jail's Medication Assisted Treatment or MAT program.

- We can help stop the cravings.

We can rest the brain so that it can begin to heal and allow that individual to take back control of their life.

So an individual who comes in on an active prescription for methadone, for example, or suboxone, then through our medical department, we can assess that.

We make connections with their provider on the outside, and we're able to continue that medication here.

So we don't have to put anyone into withdrawal.

We don't have to make anyone take a step back.

We can simply continue that work.

And they don't wanna die.

And so what their hope is is that, "Can I get onto methadone?

"Can I get on suboxone before I leave?

"Yes, I know I'm not using drugs, "but can I get on this medication "so that when I get out there and those cravings start "and that pressure starts, "will I have the strength and hopefully the support, I need "to make a better decision for myself "and to keep my life on track, "the way everybody here truly desires it?"

And people in here and say to me, "I'm tired of this life.

"I don't wanna do this anymore."

I believe them wholeheartedly.

They're not lying to me.

Now, it doesn't mean they're not gonna come back and they're gonna keep using, because we know how difficult and chaotic that addiction can be for them.

But they're sincere.

Nobody wants to live that life.

(gentle music) - [Narrator] In 2020, the state of Maine made Medication Assisted Treatment, MAT, available to inmates, struggling with opioid addiction at each of the state's adult correctional facilities.

Maine's county operated jails are working on plans to provide MAT to inmates who received the medication prior to their arrest.

Hospital systems are also working towards solutions.

Maine Health's, Integrated Medication Assisted Treatment program, or IMAT, combines talk therapy with medicines that can control cravings and lessen withdrawal symptoms.

The medicines help a person feel normal again so they can focus on therapy and rebuilding their life.

- It helps me get through my day to day, and want to be sober and want to be happy and healthy.

And that's what it gets me, it gets me there, you know, where I need to be, especially with my IMAT program and everything in this, it's great.

- [Narrator] Rianna takes part in the Maine Health Program.

For her, it's been a very long cycle of use and abuse.

And this young mom wants to break that cycle.

- So when I became a drug addict, it was because I was at my lowest.

I was in a very abusive relationship.

My partner went to a prison for five years.

I knew I didn't want to die, but I didn't want to deal with all of my pain of everything.

And so I became an addict.

I was addicted to oxies for about a year.

I didn't have any oxies one day, and I found a bag of heroin.

I didn't wanna kill myself, I knew I didn't wanna kill myself, but I wanted to get high.

And I knew right then and there that I had a problem.

(gentle music) - It was rock bottom all over again.

And it just happened so quickly, and.

- [Narrator] Josh is also in the IMAT program.

He grew up playing sports.

He was also a Boy Scout and was even involved in the DARE program.

But by 12, he was drinking, soon binge drinking and blacking out.

Rehab, stints at sober houses, detox and probation were then followed by six years in prison for robbery.

- The turning point was when I overdosed.

And I guess I, in a way, was kind of intentionally hoping that I would overdose because I didn't know how to live sober and I didn't know how to live as an addict.

It actually scared the crap outta me.

It scared me so much that it kind of really shook me awake and realized that, that wasn't what I wanted.

I was so close to death at that point and losing everything and betraying, you know, everyone that I love by letting the addiction win.

It made me realize that that's not what I wanted to do.

And getting enrolled into the Suboxone program, gave me the ability to get back on my feet so much quicker.

- They help teach you how to cope with your PTSD and your trauma and how to get over it in a safe and healthy way.

And I think that comes down as to why people are drug addicts, and that's the core of it.

You know, they get down into the core.

- That was probably eight or nine months ago that I've been on the medication.

And since being involved into this program, I guess I've had a lot of access to some, like, professional point of views, some people who are, you know, trained specifically in dealing with substance abuse, people who understand psychology and the workings of the mind.

And people who know about trauma.

- There's strong evidence that people that have substance use disorders have been living with painful or traumatic experiences for years in their life.

When they begin to use substances, they gain an awful lot of relief from those experiences.

And thus the beginning of what has developed into a dependence.

The data is something like 75% of the people who have an opioid use disorder, have had some form of trauma in their life.

So the egg comes before the chicken quite often.

- [Narrator] Licensed clinical social worker, Paul Murphy, is a substance use treatment clinician at Maine Health's IMAT program in South Portland.

- Figuratively, we're trying to get somebody to a really different place from where they are when they walk through the door.

And the first is, as close to abstinence as they can possibly be.

Help them get from a emotional place where they feel insecure and safe and afraid to a place where they start to have a sense of strong self and personal security.

That's the first movement that we wanna see.

And it's a great success when we see people actually do that, start to sh change before our eyes, in a very slow way, but a very meaningful way.

- I feel like being on or being part of a treatment program like MAT or being supported by a group of doctors and counselors and therapists and stuff like that, really says a lot to those people around you that know you and they see you're taking your recovery very seriously.

- [Interviewer] And it saved your life?

- Yeah.

Yeah.

I could cry, yes.

They're great people.

They do wonderful things.

And it's so easy to be honest and open with them and to really, really work on your sobriety.

They've been my angels, it's what I call them.

(gentle music) (vehicle engine revving) - So we bring in the most vulnerable men in the city who are experiencing homelessness or substance use and we give them a hot meal, every night, we do their laundry, we give 'em a safe place to sleep.

And sometimes it's just sitting down with them and having a conversation.

- [Narrator] Milestone Recovery runs one of two, standalone detoxes in the state of Maine.

It's two tiered mission is to empower individuals with mental health and substance use disorders, and often means a three to seven day stay.

- You can't really push recovery on somebody.

I think a recovery path can mean different things for different people, you know, and I think, you know, pot of their recovery, first is, you know, they have to really learn how to be, you know, to get off the streets, learn to live life skills, all different levels.

Guys have been on the streets, you know, up to 10, 15, 20 years.

(gentle music) - Well, I would sit on this stoop here and I would sell drugs.

And take orders and run in and out of the house and deliver things to people.

So my dad was a dealer.

So like, it was there and he didn't try to stop me.

He actually helped me do it.

So I was an immediate IV user from the beginning, 'cause that's how he did it.

- [Interviewer] Right.

- And then he showed me how to do it the right way.

And it just didn't stop.

It was every day.

I had overdosed twice in the same day and I came back to detox and was in pretty bad shape.

I had a couple broken ribs.

My arm was infected from shooting up.

And the doctor asked me what I was gonna do different.

And I couldn't answer, I had no idea what to do.

And she just said, you know, "Let us come up with a plan for you.

"Try to get some rest and we'll put something together."

And they came back with the plan of six months of treatment at the Serenity House.

They wanted me to do 90 meetings in 90 days, then join a volunteer group and try to get into a job that would help someone else, and also helped me at the same time.

- [Narrator] Bobby Sheehan was convinced the job for him was at Milestone Detox in Portland.

- So I filled out four applications, showed up once a week asking for a job.

It took eight months, but they hired me.

(gentle music) I will have been working here, four years this month.

I'm a supervisor now.

You know, I take a lot of pride in understanding what these guys are going through, and letting 'em know that they're not alone, letting 'em know, like I was in the shelter, I was in the detox, I was doing all the same things that they're doing.

And it's possible to not have to do that anymore.

For me, Milestone was a place where I could breathe, where I knew I was safe, I could be comfortable.

I had at least seven days where, I didn't feel anxiety, where I, you know, I didn't have to run, where I could just sit and be comfortable.

(gentle music) - [Narrator] If you or someone you know needs help right now, go to the knowyouroptions.me website.

You will find immediate help that's closest to you.

(gentle music) Next time on, "Voices of Hope."

The ultimate toll of addiction and the family members left behind.

- And I realized that I didn't have any more kids.

(gentle music) Both of my boys were gone.

- The last six months were torture.

Every morning before I would go to work, I would go to his room to make sure his chest was rising and falling.

And every night I would drive home praying that my son would be alive when I walked through the door because I knew he was slipping.

(gentle music) - [Narrator] Plus The Family Restored.

- It has helped us tremendously.

It was kind of like being in a really, really dark room and somebody finally opening a door and you could just see somewhere to go.

(gentle piano music) ♪ It's 3:00 a.m ♪ My mind's been racing for too long ♪ ♪ My thoughts within ♪ Are tangled up in memories ♪ We both have issues ♪ We are the same ♪ But it just don't stop, even through that pain ♪ ♪ I heard you've been through some pretty rough times ♪ ♪ I'm here to tell you that it's all right ♪ ♪ Go and rest your head my dear ♪ ♪ I'll sing you a song to hear ♪ Does your head feel heavy or unsteady ♪ ♪ Listen to the words I say ♪ To cure you of your misery ♪ No, I'll never let you go ♪ Oh, oh, yeah ♪ Let you go (gentle piano music) ♪ It's 3:00 a.m ♪ And you're downstairs, crying ♪ ♪ 'Cause your feeling never gets better ♪ ♪ And oh I wish you would stop ♪ And it never gets better ♪ Oh ♪ Go and rest your head my dear ♪ ♪ I'll sing you a song to hear ♪ Does your head feel heavy or unsteady ♪ ♪ Listen to the words I say ♪ To cure you of your misery ♪ And oh, I'll never let you go ♪ (gentle piano music) ♪ Let you go (gentle piano music) (birds chirping)