(upbeat music) - These are the stories that move us.

The stories that guide us.

And the stories that reflect our community.

Filmed in our neighborhoods and at local haunts by those who call this city home.

Atlanta filmmakers are documenting stories that show the life of our city in a way we could only imagine.

These are the stories that we tell.

This is "Atlanta On Film".

(upbeat music) - Hello.

I'm your host, Jono Mitchell.

Welcome back to, "Atlanta On Film", WABE's weekly film series featuring a collection of stories that reflect our diverse community.

This episode is made possible by our friends at Out On Film, Atlanta's LGBTQ Film Festival.

In this episode, we'll get the chance to witness the legacy of the queer burlesque scene in the city of Atlanta with Heather Provoncha and Leo Hollen in the essential documentary, "Queer Moxie".

But first, we'll see how the complexities of coming out coupled with the fears of losing a lifelong friend, plague best friends, Ahmad and Sadik, as they prepare for life after high school.

The film, "Flames", by Deondray and Quincy LeNear Gossfield is a story brimming with emotive performances that take us into the heart of a defining moment in a close friendship.

This is "Flames".

(film roll rattling) (camera beeps) (birds chirping) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) ♪ Too much of a good thing is a bad trigger ♪ ♪ How you mess up a good thing with a bad ♪ - Dude.

I'm graduating.

- Congratulations, man.

It's all you.

Three months from now, you're gonna be strolling the halls at Morehouse.

Future lawyer, pimping.

Now, I'll still be mopping the halls at the Waffle House.

- Temporarily.

Yo, where everybody at?

- Oh, they're gonna be a minute.

It's just gonna be me and you for a little while.

Come on, man.

(gentle music) - Yo, when you said cabin party, I was picturing like a lodge, you know.

Something with, like, valet parking and a jacuzzi.

(door thuds) Bro?

- Oh, yeah.

Kind of like yo.

- Stop playing.

Bro, where you find this Billy Bob place?

(gentle suspenseful music) (gunshot cracks) (upbeat music) - Yo turn, man.

- [Ahmad] I ain't never shot no gun before.

- Man, what?

Better learn.

Revolution is coming.

(gun cocks) Hmm.

Alright, take a knee.

Alright.

Now, it's gonna pop hard.

So make sure that when you- (gunshot cracks) Man, I just bought this!

- I told you I don't know how to shoot no gun.

Look, how much is it?

I'll pay for it.

- I was trying to tell your, you just never listen!

(exhales) You think you're smarter than me?

- Sadik?

(gentle music) (gentle music) (gentle music) (gentle music) (crickets chirping) (fire crackling) - You're so different now, dude.

You remember who we used to be?

- You like to stay in the past way too much, Sadik.

(crickets chirping) (fire crackling) - Hmm.

Hmm.

(crickets chirping) (fire crackling) (Ahmad chuckles) - Wow.

Yo, where'd you get these?

We was some little birds, man.

(chuckles) - Yeah, I keep everything.

(crickets chirping) (fire crackling) - Yo.

This was eighth grade.

- Yep, went to formal.

Right before me and yo got into our first fight.

- Yo, what was we fighting about again?

- You serious?

- Yeah, Mr.

Historian.

I don't be remembering every tiny detail like you.

- I caught you kissing Shelby.

- Shelby?

- My girlfriend.

(crickets chirping) (fire crackling) - Right?

See, I, I didn't know that.

- Why you lying?

We got dressed together at your house.

- Yeah, but I didn't know y'all was like a, a couple.

- She was my date, dude.

God, change the subject, 'cause your ass about to piss me off, again.

- You kept these?

- I, I keep everything.

- Why would you keep these?

- Ahmad, nobody knows about these but me and you.

- Dude!

- It's not that big of a- - I am smarter than you!

- Oh, so that's how you feel?

- Why are you holding onto these, Sadik?

What if somebody found them?

- Yo, why you so pressed?

- You so stupid, man.

(gentle suspenseful music) (both grunting) (suspenseful music) (gentle ethereal music) (gentle ethereal music) - I feel everything.

(gentle ethereal music) (gentle ethereal music) (gentle ethereal music) - I'm not smarter than you, Sadik.

I want to be, but, I'm not.

(crickets chirping) (fire crackling) I knew about you and Shelby.

I was just, I was just jealous.

I been so foul to you, man.

Why, why you still with me?

(crickets chirping) (fire crackling) (crickets chirping) (fire crackling) (gentle suspenseful music) (gentle suspenseful music) - Get off me!

(crickets chirping) (fire crackling) I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I can't.

I'm sorry.

I can't.

I can't, I can't.

I'm sorry.

(tires crunching) (indistinct chatter) (distant upbeat music) ♪ Being so damn popular ♪ ♪ You the one they keep on hyping too ♪ ♪ Being so damn popular ♪ ♪ You know that's the life you trying to pursue ♪ ♪ But I don't get it, no ♪ ♪ You got everything ♪ ♪ You got all you want ♪ ♪ What you trying to gain ♪ (fire crackling) ♪ Pulling all these stunts ♪ ♪ What you trying to gain ♪ ♪ What you trying to gain ♪ ♪ What you trying to gain ♪ ♪ What you trying to gain ♪ ♪ What you trying to gain ♪ (distant upbeat music) (indistinct chatter) (gentle music) - Hey, I'm Jono Mitchell, and I am here with Deondray Gossfield and Quincy LeNear Gossfield, the creators of the short film, "Flames", which was an official selection of the 2021 Out On Film Film Festival.

Thank you both so much for being here today.

- [Both] Thank you for having us.

- Tell me about "Flames".

- So, "Flames" is a love letter to my teenage self.

Just giving him the opportunity and space he needed to actually ask all the questions he ever wanted to ask to some of the kind of conflicted relationships he had with other guys in his life.

It's really where it all came from.

- [Jono] So, it sounds super personal.

What other things sort of inspire the ideas that you have in the work that you create together?

- Well I think, we both began filmmaking, we both began as actors.

And at the time that we were actors, there were not a lot of roles offered for African American men that were outside of certain confines.

So, there were certain stereotypes that were readily available to audition for, but then there were all of these opportunities to play these three dimensional, multifaceted characters that you just weren't seeing.

And so that's what actually inspired us to begin making films, is that we wanted to create the stories to provide the opportunities for African Americans to see themselves the way we see ourselves, in varied ways.

And I think that was the impetus for us to begin filmmaking.

So that's something that's always, I think in the forefront, is telling stories, creating characters that are otherwise not seen, or commonly seen.

And I think, also, both of us being gay men, we also wanted to see our lives reflected in our stories as well.

So, that was something that was, at the time, wasn't that common either when we first began filmmaking.

I mean, it's way more, there's diverse stories now, which is amazing.

But in the beginning, you didn't see anything that was African American in LGBTQ when we first began filmmaking.

So, those were the two things that really made us like, you know, why complain about what's not happening when you can do it yourself.

So just do it.

- That is wonderful advice.

And that's for everybody.

Like, just go out and make the stuff you wanna see in the world.

- Yes.

- In addition to that, I was gonna say, also, the diversity you were seeing with LGBTQ characters of color were very monolithic.

So for us, we kind of wanted to kind of go outside of those boundaries.

You know, there was a comfortable image for mainstream media for LGBTQ people.

And us, people we knew, were never quite in those boxes that were on TV.

So we were like, there are other guys out there that kind of walked through this life a little bit different.

And, I don't see those stories.

So, that was another big catalyst for why we did this.

- God, change the subject, 'cause your ass about to piss me off, again.

(crickets chirping) (fire crackling) - You kept these?

(crickets chirping) (fire crackling) - I, I keep everything.

- Why would you keep these?

- Ahmad, nobody knows about these but me and you.

- Dude!

- It's not that big of a- - I am smarter than you!

- Oh, so that's how you feel?

- Why are you holding on to these, Sadik?

What if somebody found them?

- Yo, why you so pressed?

- You shot this here in Atlanta, correct?

- Yes.

- Where in Atlanta did you shoot?

- Yeah, so the cabin that we found was in Fairburn.

A private cabin on the lake, that's actually the cabin from, "Avengers: Endgame".

- Wait!

I knew it looked familiar, and I was like, "Why do I know this cabin?"

- Captain Americas cabin.

- Yeah.

- Mr. Stark's cabin - That is wild!

- [Deondray] We didn't know.

- [Quincy] We didn't know.

- [Deondray] We had no idea.

- [Quincy] So, fans that were on our crew started freaking out, and we were like, "What's going on?"

- [Deondray] Yeah, they were really freaking out.

- [Quincy] And they were like, "This is the Starks cabin."

I was like, "Oh, really?"

And then they started pulling up screen grabs from the movie, like, "Look", as we were standing right in the scene from the movie.

They were like, "Look at this!"

Like, oh wow.

Yeah, I knew it looked familiar, but, - [Deondray] Quite a coincidence.

- it took the fanboys to really, like, they got it immediately.

- You're pretty recent transplants to Atlanta, within the last three years.

So, can you talk about some of the connection that you've developed to the Atlanta film Community?

- "Flames" was the very first project that we've ever produced and directed in Atlanta.

So, it's our first.

And so, we really did rely heavily on our producers, who are local.

So they just really worked together so well that we didn't have to worry.

'Cause it's hard for us to turn off our producers hats when we're directing, 'cause we're used to producing and directing.

And this time, we didn't have to produce, we just had to direct.

- When people see your films, sort of...

I think... what mission do you have?

What do do you want to sort of be known for in the work that you create?

- I sort of feel, I know this is very ambitious, but I sort of want people to watch our stuff and think that they're gonna be okay.

I think ultimately that's what we're trying to say in everything that we make in this space, is that you're fine, and you're gonna be okay.

I think, like I said, when I say that "Flames" is a love letter to myself, when I say that, what I mean to say is, "I wish this was a film that existed when I was going through what I was going through."

If I could have seen myself on that screen with that same anxiety, and watching a character move through it and be okay on the other side, I think I could have thought, "Oh, I'll be okay."

There wasn't much of that when I was growing up.

And so, I hope that that's what we leave.

I want folks to watch it and go, "I'm gonna be okay.

And I'm not strange, I'm not abnormal, I'm okay."

Yeah.

It's ambitious and it's simple, but that's sort of what I'm hoping is coming across.

- I would say, truth.

I would want my legacy, my work legacy, to be that of truth.

That when people saw it, they saw a truth.

And maybe it's a truth that they weren't aware of before, but they leave knowing some truth about someone else, if not themselves.

So hopefully when people see our stories, they see the truth in them.

- Well, thank you so much.

Deondray, Quincy.

- [Both] Thank you.

- We'll see you soon.

(film roll rattling) (camera beeps) Atlanta is a city rich with culture, especially the queer burlesque scene.

In this phenomenal documentary spanning decades, but put together over five years, we get a front row seat to history being made in parts of the city that have vanished physically, but live on in the plethora of performers still pushing the boundaries of what it means to be queer on stage.

This is, "Queer Moxie".

(film reel whirring) (timer beeping) (inspiring classical music) (inspiring classical music) (electronic static sound) - [Performer] When my song is coming on and I'm behind that curtain and it's time to step out, I'm so nervous until that light just hits me.

- [Performer] And when the curtain opens, everything is gone, and you're in the moment.

(guitar paying) - [Performer] I would say it's the best feeling in the world.

I wish I could bottle it and take a sip of it every now and then.

- [Performer] There is no other feeling.

There is no high that can match that high.

That is the best, and when they respond to that, when they laugh... (gentle music) - [Performer] My motivation for doing my art is not to make money.

I often don't make money.

(chuckles) - [Performer] All I have to do is get in the lights and hear the music, and it's on.

(gentle music) - [Performer] The minute that you're taking an article of clothing off, and somebody goes, "Whoo!"

It's just like whoa, really?

Well then check this out.

(upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) - [Performer] Being queer is a huge part of my persona, performance, character.

(upbeat rock music) - [Performer] Hook, line, and sinker buy into the word queer.

(laughs) (upbeat rock music) - [Performer] I and other millions of people have reclaimed this word to mean something beautiful.

I'm queer as fuck.

(upbeat rock music) - [Performer] That, to me, is what queer is.

It's not the LGBTQ.

It's a space for freaks and weirdos and misfits and people sort of outside the norm who tend to be rejected by society or reject society themselves.

(upbeat rock music) - Every poem that comes outta my body is queer.

- [Performer] So to me the word queer is something that unites us all.

Because if I were to just say I'm a gay man, and just sort of claim the G of GLBTQ, then that's not saying enough.

- [Performer] Queer is the freedom to set your own fucking rules for how you wanna express and who you wanna express it with.

Fuck it.

(laughs) - All right, we're done with the show, thank god.

We wanna thank all the folks from Straight from the Heart.

Folks, if you've got any time, please go see this show.

It's fabulous, it's for a worthy cause.

Let's hear it for Straight from the Heart!

- It was this place where it was kind of fantasy you could release.

It was really beautiful to look at, and it was a place maybe where you could kind of make light of something that otherwise is, like out there, it's really exhausting.

But in here, we can joke about it.

- It's like being able to be in a music video, but the people look like you, and are politically like you, and are there responsibly.

- It is the space.

It's crazy.

It is a singular space that anything goes.

Even if you're straight, you're queer as fuck if you're in the art world.

- Those of us from that era, we really felt the need to tell a story and make you believe that you are watching what you actually see.

- I so much enjoy going to these shows where there is something different to see, different parts that I don't even know exist in myself that touch me, that make me happy, that make me laugh, that make me smile.

And sometimes I even cry, because people are really sacrificing themselves, and working hard, and trying their darnedest to make other people happy.

- I mean, immediately after we started performing, other queer women would come up constantly, email me, MySpace me, and say, "You're so amazing," "That's so amazing that you do this," "I wish I could do this," "You're so inspiring," which is really incredible and also overwhelming, 'cause then I realized people are really watching us.

They're really watching the work that we're doing.

And then it's work, it's not just like these wacky queer kids putting a show.

- First time I performed in a nightclub, I was 18.

First time I ever got on stage in front of an audience dressed as a woman, I was 16.

First time I ever put on my first pair of heels, I was 3.

So (laughs) - Beautiful inside and out, boy or girl, long hair or short hair.

- I understand the power of drag.

For some reason drag, is so accessible to so many different types of audiences.

- I think people love drag and queer performance so much because the drag itself, the performance itself is very adaptive, right?

So you're not gonna see the same show every night.

You're gonna see something that makes fun of something in the headlines the day before.

You're gonna see something that looks at a performance of last week and takes it twice as far.

It's always a new experience.

I think that's why people love it.

- [Performer] When you're using pop songs to talk about identities or things like that, and you're playing it up more of like a performance, that's not surface level bullshit.

- One of the first things I learned about standup was how much I appreciated drag.

And I started to really grasp and hold on to the drag side of me, 'cause I felt like I would never let that part of me go.

I think forever I will probably always be doing drag in some kind of way.

- Think about it, for the love of god.

You have a man that wears a size 12, 13 shoe that's rocking a pair of pumps, that's twirling.

First of all, I can barely walk in heels.

Second of all, I'm not the best twirler.

(laughs) So you know, it's just one of those things where the crowd is ready, the energy is so high, and people are singing along with the performer.

- Hallelujah!

And to all of my sisters and brothers, because I live in a world that gay people are gay and we can do what we wanna do, and we live our lives.

- These people who come to these shows at the queer events, they see everything.

No holds barred.

Everyone is ready to express themselves.

- [Performer] It's free therapy.

Bottom line.

I get to dump all my issues on you, and now you have to deal with it.

- Me being able to perform, I'm going out and I'm having all these conversations with people who don't know that they have similar ideas, feelings, hopes, dreams, desires as a queer person.

- The applause, the audience is just as much a part of the show too.

There would be no show if there were no audience.

(audience cheering) - It was like performing at a family reunion, sort of.

That you would perform in front of these people that understand what burlesque is, they understand your femme identity and your drag and the intensity in which you bring to that and how difficult it is to put all that stuff together, and they appreciate, and they wanna show you love, and you wanna show them love.

And it was like this crazy energy cycle.

- And we would just break out into numbers in the middle of the bar, on the bar stool, on the little islands in the bar.

We would go crazy, and people would scream and holler, and it was so much fun.

And when I first started working there, I was bar backing as well as being Miss Armory.

And in heels, 4 to 6 inch heels, I would have to go down to the Prince George restaurant and carry 40 pound bags of ice on my shoulders back up to The Armory.

And it never bothered me.

Of course, I was younger.

I was never younger than springtime, but I was younger.

And now, I'm 66 years old, honey.

I mean, I don't know how much longer I can do this.

Do they want another show?

(laughs) - [Host] All right, what's next on the agenda, boyfriends?

- [Interviewee] And I went on vacation to Atlanta.

I saw my first drag queen there.

It was Diamond Lil.

Amazed, amazed.

And I was on multiple drugs at the time, 'cause it was that day.

I guess as fucked up as I was, it was wonderful.

Seeing Diamond Lil's crazy... She's crazy today, but back in the day she was even crazier.

In her heels, she jumped on tops of tables, and there were a lot of bikers that went to the club, and she'd kick pitchers of beer in bikers' laps, and they let her get away with it 'cause she was Diamond Lil.

I thought, "This is magic."

- And it just dawned on me, I said, "Well, why don't you just get a rock and roll band and be different?"

And that was scary.

And so I found four hippies with long black hair and all, that played guitars and all, and they rocked out and everything else.

And we put together a good rock and roll show.

Not too long after that, we decided we'd make a 45 record.

So we got together a couple of wild rock and roll songs.

It was on all the jukeboxes around town.

I got it put on all the jukeboxes, where you put your quarter in and your selections in all the restaurants and bars and stuff like that.

And that record was played everywhere, and I was very big then.

But when they took the jukeboxes out, I wasn't quite as big.

I'm still big, it's just people just don't realize.

(audience clapping) I thought you'd like that.

- First of all, I'm Regina Boom Boom Simms.

(laughs) My favorite performance was Glitterdome.

Glitterdome was my favorite time.

- Pat Briggs, he was crazy theatrical weird.

He would come out in like a rubber suit with no crotch, like alien, weird, flying bubbles on him and just a mohawk and no teeth, like metal teeth.

Just bizarre stuff.

It was awesome.

Well, he eventually started doing the Glitterdome here where it was a little different because it was sex, drag, and rock and roll.

He would have all these other people come up and play.

Every show, it would be a different cast of characters.

And a lot of 'em would be like drag queens and stuff.

And it was cool, because it was about music.

It was about rock and roll.

- So now I've heard about it, never been to it, never been to The Chamber, anything like that.

Never done anything like that.

So I had about three weeks to kind of rehearse by myself.

My husband was so tired of my mouth.

I'm just screaming, I did knock on wood.

And it just brought back such memories where it was like, oh, I sang up in the church, and I just loved that instant gratification, and it came from me, and I could do it.

And you know how you'd say you don't use it, you lose it.

And I thought, "Oh, you done totally lost it."

This was a live band.

Everybody else had rehearsals, had to go through their number three or four times.

I went and did my number for rehearsal one time.

One time.

Oh, you're good for the night.

I was so pissed off, 'cause I (laughs) I so wanted to do it again and again.

And that night, it was like a live concert, and the people were all around the stage, and they was chanting, and the band was live, and it was just going on, and it was just rocking.

And you had background singers, and you had all of this.

And I sung live, and I just jerked it off, girl.

I'm just gonna say it, I just jerked it off.

It was beautiful.

That's one of the biggest highs I have ever had in my life.

- Cabaret, Charlie Brown's Cabaret was really like the goal, like you'd come to Atlanta, and everybody in the late 90s wanted to be, once you got a Backstreet stamp of approval, I mean you could do anything you wanted in this city.

You were a Backstreet Girl.

Backstreet, that show was just perfect.

It was the perfect recipe of drag, 'cause it had the head mother, the legend Charlie who I think if anybody else was at the head of that ship, it wouldn't have gone in the direction it did.

And then Lily White is the crazy aunt, and she's the crazy emcee, the dirty, vulgar, and it wasn't about all her loveliness, it was about her being entertaining and funny and amusing.

- I finally found the perfect man.

Who could ask for anything more?

He's deaf, he's dumb, he's totally blind, but his dick hangs down to the floor.

(audience cheering) - I made it cool to be crazy.

I hung around with all the early rock and roll bands, the Ramone type bands here in Atlanta.

I would go to all their concerts in drag.

They loved when Lily White was there.

All the young girls now, they're doing all the weird makeup and stuff and weird costumes.

Hell, I started out doing that.

A lot of young queens, I've told 'em, you have to figure out who you are.

If being crazy is good for you, it works for you, do it.

If there's a door that needs to be opened, open it.

(upbeat rock music) ♪ I'm in love with a girl ♪ ♪ But she used to be a man ♪ ♪ Somewhere in between ♪ ♪ She had a change of plans ♪ ♪ I'm in love ♪ ♪ I fell in love ♪ ♪ I got a story that I need to tell ♪ ♪ About a man and a woman whose love was doomed to fail ♪ ♪ Met her walking down the way ♪ ♪ Ponce de Leon Avenue ♪ ♪ She's fine and she's mine ♪ ♪ But I didn't even have a clue ♪ ♪ Something's going on ♪ ♪ Feels like something's wrong ♪ ♪ Something's going on ♪ - In 1993, full on like early 90s, everybody.

There was drag queens.

And I think I had this thought that I thought was the most original thought in the world that I would do the opposite of a drag queen.

(upbeat hip hop music) ♪ I got a Z stack in my pocket ♪ ♪ Now that shit is gone ♪ ♪ Gotta pay my mortgage ♪ ♪ They won't leave me alone ♪ ♪ I got a Z stack in my pocket ♪ ♪ Now that shit is gone ♪ ♪ Gotta pay my mortgage ♪ ♪ They won't leave me alone ♪ ♪ I got a Z stack in my pocket ♪ ♪ I got a Z stack in my pocket ♪ ♪ I got a Z stack in my pocket ♪ (upbeat hip hop music) - I perform as a drag king.

And what that is is I perform a male illusion.

Although I'm female, I perform in the illusion of a male.

♪ Can't put up blinds ♪ ♪ I can't do standing ♪ ♪ It's too demanding ♪ ♪ Okay, fuck what you heard ♪ - Everything that drag queens minimize, we maximize, and everything that they maximize, we minimize.

So we're trying to bring out jaw lines, brow lines, sharper angles in our faces.

- I would say more than half of 'em were like appalled to see drag kings, and then half of 'em were fascinated, and then like a small portion were like you could see it in their eye that they were gonna do that.

And I got excited, but I realized something big was happening.

It was mostly younger people doing it, and it was kind of uncharted down here in the south sort of thing.

And I knew it was something important happening.

- That first show was like, people were wrapped down the street waiting to get in.

So they're like, "This is a big deal".

And I was like, "Okay".

And they're like, "So do you want to join?"

Like, you should do this.

(rock music) - I used to not really understand it until I saw this performance and I realized I thought it was kinda hot.

(rock music) - I think the next time we're gonna be seeing you guys as a crowd/performer situation is gonna be Pride.

- This was the first time it was being done in our city, in our community.

So it was exactly what we wanted it to be.

It didn't have to be this political statement.

It didn't have to be this, you know, these defining moments.

I think it was defining moments for a lot of us.

- Reverend Pee-Wee Hymen!

(crowd cheering) - There was a performer Pee-Wee Hymen, who was mostly a drag king, who was a trans man.

And it was the first time that I had seen someone presenting their gender in a way that I really wanted to emulate.

Like he was a very dapper, very suave, very well dressed, did a lot of like, Otis Redding covers.

And I was like, I wanna look like that.

And I think that was my first very distinct memory of queer performance art.

(crowd cheering) - I had met and was friends with the Marine Moby Dick, right?

From the Club Casanova.

And she showed me the very first time.

She was the very first person to put side burns on me.

And I remember we're playing, my band's playing the Velvet Elvis on Lower East Side, right?

(giggling) And she puts these giant chops on me and they're so dark and they don't match anything.

(chuckling) And I remember like, walking to the ATM to go get cash for the night and I felt like the Bee Gees were playing.

I was like (sings tune) You know, I was just like (singing) "You can tell by the way I-" I mean, just like walking all the way down the street I would just have like this fucking strut.

I was like, yeah, yeah.

Like I pass everyday as a man.

Everyday of my life as a man.

But that day I was like, "Mm".

And it was the fakest I ever looked as a man.

(laughing) - The way that people think about gender.

That often femininity is seen as this thing that one could perform, that it's over the top or that it's painted on or that it's plastic.

You know, these kinds of ways in which women are often kind of judged by the way they look more than I think men are.

There's probably more fodder for that.

When we first started performing and even when I describe sometimes my work and I say drag kings.

People are like, "Wait, what?"

And I was like, it's the performance of masculinity.

And they're like, "That's so boring.

How do you even do that?"

Again, like in gender, just like white is an unmarked race, I think that male is an unmarked gender so that it's natural.

Judith Halverson talks about this.

How do you mark gender "masculinity" like, chinos?

You know what I mean?

And like, a navy blue blazer?

(rock music) - [Devin Liquor] Like you look at glam rockers or you know, extremes like Liberace or somebody like Freddie Mercury or whatever, like that.

- Because you can't tell me "Cam, you've got on too many stones to be a drag king".

No I don't.

I'm Liberace.

So who are you to tell me?

You know.

- [MC] In suede and evening wear, consists of over 1000 rhinestones (indistinct).

- [Devin Liquor] It's still a masculine, it's still a male illusion, here.

It might be a fairly gay male illusion, which I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I think that we limit ourselves a lot as performers by personifying only certain aspects of masculinity.

And also, I struggle now as a pageant competitor with the narrow definition of male illusion.

- Yo yo!

One more time for your Mr. Stud Continental, Kamron Peterson.

(crowd cheering) - The pageant started in people's homes.

They used to have these things called house pageants.

- In the seventies, there was pretty much the Miss Gay Atlanta contest that went on.

That contest would have 30 something contestants each year but there weren't like a lot of pageants at the time.

Here I was Miss Gay World and I had, oh my goodness, I must have been 25 there.

(chuckling) So that was a really, really long time ago.

But I was Miss Gay World and as Miss Gay World we had preliminaries in various states and I had just crowned Ashley Cruz, I had crowned her Miss Georgia World there.

This I think is my final performance as Miss USA Classy.

Here, I had just been crowned Miss Gay Atlanta the night before.

And this was in 1983 as I mentioned earlier.

I think probably of all the crowns I have won over the years, being Miss Atlanta just meant the most to me.

There started to be a lot more pageants.

Everybody figured, you know what?

I think I'm just gonna have a pageant.

So you'd go downtown and you'd register your pageant and now it went from being like one pageant a year or two pageants a year to pretty much like a pageant every month or a pageant every two weeks.

- Now I'm like, I've kind of lost count after 50 (laughing) as far as pageants and just doing it.

- If you do your research on a particular system and see what their platform is and what they do in the community, what they do worldwide or however.

It all depends on you, if you want to be a part of that system, if you want to represent that system, it's just not about winning a pageant, it's about reigning as well.

- You know, girls grow up wanting to wear two major gowns.

A wedding gown and a pageant gown.

(laughing) So you know, I wanted to wear my pageant gown.

- I'm one of those people who fight for things that I don't necessarily want, but some wrong has happened and I must vindicate it.

When I was in college they were having the Miss Georgia pageant, but every face in the place is very, very not like mine.

And when I asked the woman what are the qualifications to be in the pageant?

And then she says, "Well you know, you people tend to have a problem with these types of events".

And when she said "you people", she said a whole lot of other stuff after that, but I got stuck there.

And then it became very important for me to be a beauty pageant queen.

And I knew I wouldn't win.

But I was gonna make the white girls work.

I told the judges look, this is a political statement that went horribly awry.

And I'm wearing heels and taffeta.

- Clearly I'm not gonna run for Miss America but I can run for Mr. something because that's who I am.

So there's a venue for me to be who I am.

(hairspray spraying) - Look.

Messy.

(laughing) Very messy.

I try to give myself at least an hour and a half or so 'cause it's pretty casual at that pace instead of like doing it all.

I like to do a lot of it here at the house too 'cause I kind of know my lighting here and then I try to find like a photograph that I really love of the performer.

So this is my favorite picture of Robert Smith ever.

I'm all like, here's a grandpa monster.

You know?

(laughing) And I just did one.

For a party I did Road Warrior.

(laughing) So I have like odd pictures all over of different performers when I try to come up with makeup that I think sort of communicates what they look like.

And then I go from there pretty much, you know.

So I think that there's a certain expectation that you're gonna do like a super masculine presentation and a super masculine song, you know, with drag kings.

Which I don't really agree with.

I mean, I think that you should do what you love.

I just think that we have this venue that's drag shows where we have it much more regularly.

I think that people who are in rock bands or whatever might struggle with the same confines of feeling like you're stuck doing the same thing all the time, that we don't have as drag performers.

Like, we constantly can morph and change depending what's on the radio or go back in time and just change it all up.

(dramatic music) - I start getting "Fashion Fair" calendars.

I started getting all those things.

I bought everything "Fashion Fair" had and every month had a different face on it.

I learned how to do 12 makeup faces.

I had to learn how to open my eye.

(dramatic orchestral music) I had to learn how to put that lash on.

(dramatic orchestral music) I gotta get some bigger hair.

(dramatic orchestral music) I had to learn about transformation.

(dramatic orchestral music) I had to learn that makeup should be a transformation.

(dramatic orchestral music) (dramatic orchestral music) - I think I must have been like 18 and I climbed the fence of the old, my sister's room location.

The one that still had like a mostly outdoor area and like I climbed a tree, jumped over the fence and snuck in.

And it was a night that the Dixie Pistols were performing.

And the first person I saw performing was Vagina Jenkins.

And I was just floored.

Like I had never seen something like that before in my life.

It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

(orchestral music) Seeing these like, fem queer women stripping and like really owning their sexuality, owning their presence on a stage.

And you know, my jaw just like dropped.

You know, little 18 year old me had never seen something like that.

- I could put a little lump in your stocking.

- You know, it has to start with some sort of inspiration, right?

So I'm about to go on tour and I'm thinking about how I can represent Vagina Jenkins and it's a Southern tour or at least this particular leg of it was a Southern tour.

How I can represent Vagina Jenkins to south, black women.

And I decide that I'm gonna flip the script and I'm gonna start with this classic thing.

Sort of lull them into the sense of "Oh, this is classic burlesque".

You know?

And then the second half is to Crime Mob's "Rock Yo Hips".

And so then you put this hip-hop act, which is very dirty self, on top of it and the movement changes and the costume is used to its full capability with lots of movement and taking up lots of space.

You get the idea that ah, southern burlesque, black burlesque, queer burlesque looks a little different.

(electronic beat music) (electronic beat music) I don't know if I should leave that down.

I think I'll put it up.

I used to refer to my lady bits as "Miss Vagina Jenkins".

As far as queering burlesque, I thought it was kind of ingenious to have the name of something so beautiful, strong, identifiably fem.

I really find something subversive and titillating to a certain extent, to have all sorts of people be forced to say "vagina".

You know?

It's a scientific name for a body part.

Yes, you can say "vagina".

Grow up.

- "Camellia" with the alliteration, I think was part of it but also was a real nod to the South and also kind of a fuck you to the old South.

- Well I'm Clover, "Fisty Femmecock" when I'm on stage.

I perform with good and plenty burlesque with other fat girls.

'Cause that's how we roll.

Naked.

(laughing) - Burlesque was beautiful because it was queer burlesque specifically.

So for me that was really great too.

To be like public and on stage and performing sexually, but in queer space.

Well my stage name was Lydia Libertine.

You know, the alliteration worked.

I like the meaning of the word "libertine".

Another, you know, for my punk rock roots, Eve Libertine who's in the punk rock band, "Crass".

And they created a really important feminist punk rock album.

So that was definitely a part of the "Libertine".

So I was actually working as a dancer at the Claremont Lounge.

All of the burlesque I saw around Atlanta was really straight.

And so I was really interested in queer burlesque but didn't really know how to go about that.

And I happened to be dancing one night and two of the original members of the Dixie Pistols came in and tipped me and when I went over to thank them, one of them asked me if I would be interested in joining a queer burlesque troupe.

- It may look like it's just for fun and it may just be fun for people but I think there's absolutely power in taking up space.

- A part of what politicized me, part of where I saw queer people, not gay people, but queer people for the first time was in the punk community.

And I kind of feel like there was almost this punk rock aspect of the way we organized.

'Cause it was like, okay, well we didn't have a lot of money.

Like, you know, we didn't have a lot of resources.

We didn't have like some massive production budget.

Like, we were- - We didn't have any production budget!

- We had nothing!

- Zero dollars!

- There was not like "here", no.

Like, whatever we had for the show like, we figured it out.

- I came from a punk rock aesthetic where we were more interested in being sort of transgressive in the burlesque, in the traditional burlesque community where traditional burlesque is all this glamour and you know, proportionate body types and whatever.

And you know, we were in this mindset that we wanted to be like very DIY but very like, anti-glamour.

(people laughing) And so, we did a lot of like cutoff shorts and you know, like rock and roll girl stuff.

And- - That first show we had no idea how it was gonna go over and people were clearly desperate to see that kind of performance 'cause they just flocked every show we had.

- And make some noise for the sexy, the suburban, the Southern, the hot, hot rebel queers you preach about.

Dixie Pistols!

(crowd clapping and cheering) (seductive music) (seductive music) - On a very personal level, you know, it definitely, there was something really revolutionary about being queer people in the South.

I mean, we even called ourselves a Southern burlesque troupe.

- [Camellia] Yeah.

- [Lydia Libertine] That was part of our identity as a troupe, was that we knew there was something pretty radical about all of us coming together with our various genders and identities and claiming space together.

Like, there was a conscious decision that we wanted to take this word and kind of turn it on its head.

And the word "pistol", you know, not necessarily about bang bang gun pistol, but that's a word for a brazen lady.

And we were brazen ass women in the South taking up space.

So yeah, I mean that was definitely a part of the way we were viewing our work was through this lens of Southern queerness.

It was a really creative time for me and a really exciting time.

I think for me, it was one of the first times where I felt like I was getting, like- I felt like I've always had to be either like intellectual or creative and like, it was a time where I was getting to kind of do both.

(seductive music) - For me, it was just a joy to use my sexuality in a way that was just enjoyed by everybody, you know?

And I- Yes, I loved it.

- I had gotten a, at the thrift shop a Jessica Rabbit glittery dress.

And I had made this big head piece, the biggest head piece I've ever made.

You know, out of freaking like Popsicle sticks and Ebola.

You know, and bunch of, you know, jewelry and armbands and things and gloves and it's just everything was perfect.

- I have, besides the ones that have disintegrated, every pasty that I've ever made or used.

- And so I would just get like a compass and draw the circles in this and use them as the base.

And then- - Oh, okay.

- These were hand rhinestoned and then I would keep them in my soy yogurt containers so they wouldn't get like crushed in transport.

So I still have all these yogurt containers - You're so organized.

- Yes.

- That's so funny.

- It's crazy.

- Look at this.

Mine are so much bigger than yours.

- Yeah.

- That's so funny.

I have a really big areola.

- Yeah.

- And so I had to do a little heft to get everything covered up.

(girls laugh) - You know, Vagina Jenkins, she taught me how to make the pasties, you know, from cardboard.

But what I noticed was that my nipples were too big and so too big for the cardboard pasties.

And so I had to find a way because they were just falling off, you know, left and right.

It was like not a good look.

So I ended up using, having to use felt.

And even with the felt, this is, and it's so crazy I can't believe that I did this, but it, I would have, I used nail glue.

- Oh, uh huh.

- So I had to use nail glue in order for the pasty to actually stay on and the nail glue would just be on my breast for like three days.

You know, like- - [Dancer With Glasses] I used, I started using super glue.

- Yeah, yeah, super glue?

Yeah.

And especially because I get hot and sweaty too.

It was just like- - Spirit gum doesn't do well with sweat.

(laughs) That's why I started using the super glue.

- [Dancer In Black Shirt] Yeah.

- I always use liquid latex, but I'm totally allergic to it, so I would have like this horrible red rash for like days after every show, which was totally worth it.

It's a little awkward, but- - I have sewed things and stoned things in the car while somebody else was driving and like sewing things like putting like my leg through things and sewing trim in the car so that it's stretched out.

Yeah, totally.

So many times.

- You know, I've always wondered what my neighbors are thinking, because every time I come out they would see me in a different costume.

Early in the day she saw me come out just like a ninja.

And then that night she saw me just like well as you see me Brent Stark with you know in drag and whenever I would come out with nothing on just regular, just regular street clothes.

That's when I get weird looks like who are you?

- I'm really drawn to fancy men's clothing like really Dundee men's clothing like and bright colors for, on suits.

Like I end up buying a lot of things down in South Decatur in the preacher suits store and that kind of things they can get a really I get like a red suit or a yellow suit, you know and go to town on it.

- I make everything.

That's another thing about Shauna, she's adamant about making our own things and creating our own look.

And I mean I really like it just because, you know, if I make it, nobody else has it.

Like y'all give a new girl an outfit and be like take this home and change it.

I don't want you wearing my outfit 'cause they've seen my outfit.

So I'll give them that and be like, go home and make this your own.

And that's usually how I'll know if I like the girl or not.

If they come back and it's not changed up enough, I'm like, "This lazy bitch," and I won't be bothered with them, but- - I shot shiny things.

For me it's an obsession.

It really is.

If I like, if I could put fringe on everything I would.

Like, I have swimsuits with fringe on them and that's not a joke, that's really not a joke.

- [Dancer] We started doing these shows that were very sexual and also very body focused in a way that some of the numbers hadn't been in Dixie Pistols.

- I think people have an expectation as far as sexuality.

And so I was asserting, you know an alternative to those stereotypes and assumptions.

- Going out on stage, taking off your clothes.

It's a liberating experience because you're going out there and you're saying, "This is who I am, this is me.

Look at me."

And once you've taken off your clothes in front of everyone, everyone's seen you pretty much, you know, half naked, naked, I, this is there's not too much you can hide from anyone after that.

(crowd screams and cheers) - I mean I found body acceptance through burlesque and that's a radical, I mean that was, you know, the value of that, right?

I can't say how valuable it was.

It was, it changed my life.

Truly transformational and foundational in me being able to become an embodied woman.

- I never once ever got heckled.

I've had people who, I'm on, in my mind I'm like, "You should be cheering a little bit harder."

But never like, never any, never anyone like saying anything fucked up about my weight, I mean never.

Which has been, I think really been incredible.

(electronic guitar music) - There's something about it that feels extremely liberating to me and I mean regardless my mom said, you know I used to, you know, take off my clothes when I was a kid but I guess to really do it as an adult feels really empowering and it feels and I feel like I can express my creativity but, and it just feels really good to just have everybody sort of see my body and be just as liberated as I am.

And so with those burlesque numbers we were always seducing the audience, right?

Like we gave that erotic energy and that is so important to the work that I do now, you know?

So I think it helped me really dig deep and access that seductive and erotic energy.

It seems like oftentimes that people, you know, would come up to me and just be like, you are so comfortable in your body and that is so wonderful.

You are so comfortable in your body that everybody sees it and they wish that they could be in that and in your shoes.

- The existence of folks like me in burlesque and queering burlesque has really changed the scene.

- Yeah, that was the first time that I saw Camillia and Regina doing the Good and Plenty Show and that actually was the first time that I did a burlesque number was with them where they had me, they stripped me to "Loosen Up My Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls.

And it was incredibly liberating to be like that vulnerable in front of an audience.

I mean I still was coming very much into my own sexuality and my own identity and feeling that kind of validation of, from other people as well as like being able to kind of define in my own terms what was happening to me was just incredibly special.

And, yeah.

Once I got that first taste of it, I couldn't go back.

But at the time that I did Boylesque there, it wasn't really that popular yet.

- Boylesque is like an outlet for like people who always felt out of place because of their gender versus the movements they were doing.

- Anytime that I get down to pasties after coming out of a suit or having facial hair on, like those are the times that people are just like, "Wha, wha, wha?"

And then I turn around and it was like I don't know what to think about this 'cause I know that that's really a girl but Shim's been a guy the entire time and now there's a mustache and pasties and a nut cup.

What the heck is going on?

Like, I'm so gender-fucked, I can't even think what's, I can't think straight.

And that, those are the moments that I kind of live for on the like queer, political.

I'm like, "Ah, take that."

- I think it's important to show that you know men can be sexy and I mean for me boylesque is a way to, I found it to be a lot more affirming of my masculinity than anything else.

So Boylesque, to me, is a way of affirming of male sexuality that isn't, you know demeaning to women or incredibly racist.

- Men aren't supposed to put themselves out like in a very vulnerable sexual way like that.

We're taught that women are supposed to be erotic, that women are supposed to be like the object of men's desire.

And like when you queer that, when you change that when you make it a woman trying to gain the erotic interest of another woman or you're making that erotic image about a man, like all of a sudden like, you know, everything's just off the table.

We are given very few images and messages in our culture of like what it means to be a queer person.

How that can be a valuable thing.

I feel like the queer community has always kind of been pretty DIY when it comes to that.

You know, like obviously we live in a world that's not built for us and so you kind of have to figure it out as you go along.

And I feel like with like things like drag and burlesque culture and other kinds of queer performance art that, that is a way to fill that void, you know?

So it's a way that we are able to, we don't see ourselves reflected back in media so we kind of have to create those images ourselves and which is a really cool thing 'cause then like literally like once you throw that out the door, the possibilities are endless.

- Especially now the world that we live in now, people are really hungry to have some sort of fantasy, some sort of tangible something to go and you know people are downloading movies in their house they have the internet, they don't get out they don't interact with people.

I want people to come in together to sit next to somebody they don't know and to laugh and be like, "Did you see that?

That was awesome.

Did you see that?"

You know, it's like, that's the juicy part when people are laughing at you and people are there and along for the ride and you're like, "Great, where can I take you?"

You know, that's the prime stuff right there.

(country music) ♪ These friends are mine ♪ ♪ With me all the time ♪ ♪ Feeling sad feeling fine ♪ ♪ When it rains or if it shines.

♪ ♪ These friends are mine ♪ ♪ They're even with me when they're gone ♪ ♪ No matter where we roam ♪ ♪ I'm never far from home.

♪ ♪ And I know I ain't alone ♪ ♪ With these friends of mine ♪ - [Unidentified Dancer] In the queer community you kind of pick your family, you know?

And I wouldn't trade all that work, every weekend with these people who are my family for anything in the world.

- [Unidentified Dancer] We are a family.

♪ We feeling low ♪ ♪ All I need know is ♪ ♪ That these friends are mine ♪ ♪ With me all the time ♪ - We had so many friends even back then who were getting sick and we had many, many deaths.

In fact, there are only two of us left from the original Armory, bartenders.

There are only two of us left.

Everyone else is dead.

And this is, it's a horrifying thing.

The Armorettes, in the beginning, was the campiest group of people you've ever met.

We were wild.

Everyone just loved what we were doing.

And in the meantime, raising a lot of money for AIDS research.

- [Unidentified Dancer] And you do have an opportunity being so seen, to say something.

- So it is just like no matter what I do I always try to take people to a place or on a vacation or on a escape to where everything that's going on, just forget about that right now and just be right here with me in the now.

- That is why people go see performance art because for a brief moment in time, the world really doesn't have racism in it.

For a brief moment in time, I know what it's like really not to be living in some capitalist, patriarchal world.

I get to, for a brief moment in time, exist in a space that is what I dream of every day.

Why?

Because most performance art is either really, really realistic or a dream or both.

So I get to sit in the audience and really be like taken to a place where there's just kumbaya and love and then it's over.

- What to do when a politician tries to fall into your vagina, feet first.

(crowd laughs) My body is not yours to pump, lobby, or legislate.

There are no campaign funds tucked in my moccasins or in the folds of my flesh.

And the last time I checked there was no ATM in my vagina.

No fuzzy slipper, mourning after episiotomy, no sling back in time mentality.

There's simply is no room in my womb for your party to meet.

And my fallopian tubes are not earbuds eager to listen to your rhetoric.

'Cause all you wanna do is get in my business and you have no business being down there.

I mean, if I wanted you down there, I would've invited you all shiny six inch stiletto, but you were not invited.

So now you just wanna barge in all steel toed-Timberland so you can cross train tell me how to run what I've been running my whole life and what's fucked up is that I understand your God complex.

I mean you've been planting your flag in other folks' intentions for so long and some habits die hard.

But I'm thinking if your God wanted you in my pants he would've made you me.

(crowd laughs) and I don't have time for your nonsense, the way you flip flop agendas, stumbling on the untied laces of your misplaced metaphors confusing women of today with those you tried to deny the right to vote with all your platforms and oversteps.

And I am sure that with all your supreme wisdom, you understand that this conversation is completely inappropriate.

And since you can't walk in my shoes I'm gonna need you to take them off.

You are scuffing up my shine.

This vampire kind of thing that happens at night where I don't sleep much.

You know, my mind at times is constantly going.

And it's like I, I'll have ideas or poems or things that just wake me up.

For justice we speak up, for justice we speak out.

My father was a black panther, so we did a lot of stuff in the community.

When my father passed away, the guys early on the last conversation he had with me was to basically tell me that I needed to stop hiding and stop trying to disappear because he could see me and I needed to just do the art that I was put here to do and stop hiding my voice.

Blindfolded beautiful, she stands there.

Balance scales and in bold passing, judgment in her name, justice... our protector.

But for what?

For believing what we've been told to believe, for trusting the untrustworthy?

So coming out, there's also a queer community of poets and that's how I hooked up with Clitoroti.

They were very strong women who used words in ways that I wanted to use words.

And it's like, I need to know these people.

- I do spoken word, speak poetry.

I wanna uplift people, I wanna, I wanna empower the transgender community.

That is like one of my biggest dreams.

The first time I ever performed was in church.

I grew up Baptist.

We had a lot of holidays.

- Because there's a queerness in spirituality.

There's a queerness in praising it's everywhere.

- We set out to damage everything about us that was reparable, admirable or pristine and turned it to evil.

Now we're viewed as morally unclean.

But it's a lie from the pits of hell and with my last breath, indeed, this truth I tell are better, yet I might scream.

No, I'm not a phenomenal woman, but I am an extraordinary queen.

Who but one worthy of favor would still struggle to stand even after being cast down in the streets by their fellow man.

Those who receive us know all too well what we bring into a room.

A bold, humorous, and exotic person set on chasing away the darkest evil.

Many of us sacrifice our birth right to be seen as men who have dominion.

But on this day, I'd like to carefully add a difference of opinion.

I pray by all mothers like myself it shall be seen that, no you may never be a phenomenal woman but you are an extraordinary queen.

- I'd like to watch you like this waiting and not quite sure if I could go there with you and neither am I, but I am certain this if I cannot get inside your skin, I may die.

A longing that has kept me awake and slip for months.

So to unleash this hunger and not at all because you are begging for it.

I pushed my leg between your thighs and sliding my hand in quick taking what should have been mine long ago.

Soaking in a startled gasp your liquid fire drowning my arm, the smell of your heat the only thing between us and the sharp taut edge of release.

(crowd cheering and clapping) - And I read this article that was, you know, kind of hoity-toity about like, don't do this, don't write that, and et cetera.

And all the different feelings you get externally of what you're supposed to do and not do or (indistinct).

So here is the world doesn't want you to don't write the breakup poem.

Don't write the list poem.

Don't write the form poem.

Don't write the love poem.

Don't write the morose death poem.

Don't write yet another rape poem.

Don't write yet another angry poem.

Don't write another woman poem.

Don't write the poems about race about brown, about margins.

Don't write the gay poem.

Don't write the lesbian sex poem.

Don't write the gender queer nonspecific label poem.

Don't write the poem about your sickness.

Don't write the chronic health poem.

Don't write the disease poem.

Don't write the poem about fear.

Don't write the poem with the mouths and the teeth.

Don't write rib cages, hearts, blood, body parts, mouths.

Don't write the dirt.

Don't write about the ocean.

Don't write about the moon.

Don't write about planets.

Don't write planet and moon and astrology poems.

Don't write those geeky poems.

Don't write poems about television shows people might not get.

Don't write the musical referential jazz, hip hop heavy metal punk poem.

Don't write song lyrics and then turn them into poems.

Don't write observations from your own perspective.

Don't write religious, spiritual contemplative poems.

Don't write the God, Buddhist, atheist, zen poem.

Don't be subjective in your poems.

Don't be confessional in your poems.

Don't write the poems about flowers and trees.

Don't write a popular poem, God forbid, like your poems.

Don't write as if your poem will find an audience.

Don't write for the person in the back of the room.

Don't write narrative.

Don't write persona.

Don't write about death and grief.

Don't write about addictions and trite self-destruction.

Don't write happy poems of glee and sunshine because those aren't smart.

Don't write with the words, don't write with the adverbs.

Don't write with those dirty gerunds.

Don't write similes because metaphors are better.

Don't write with adjectives.

Don't write using the words.

Don't write because all of the themes are now cliches.

Don't write because all of the words have already been used in a better order than what you can come up with.

Don't write because it's useless work.

Don't write because it's just a hobby if it doesn't pay.

Don't write.

Because older, white men have already written everything.

Don't write, don't, don't... do.

(clapping) - Oh.

You are a friendly one, aren't you?

- And I'm sweet.

- [Off Screen Male] When I was little, I was just completely obsessed with TV and with sitcoms.

You know, I think the sitcom in and of itself is best used as a a medium for America to have a conversation once a week about the same topic - Every time I come in here all I see is seamen all over the floor.

- So once a week all of America sat down at eight o'clock or eight 30 or whatever it was and worked out the problem a little bit more.

Anyway, that that, that was the start of, oh my obsession with with the half hour format and satire.

- You sailor, what's your name?

- My name is Billy Bud and this is my story.

(crowd clapping) My life hasn't always been an easy one.

- And then I find that the more I write those kinds of things that are, that are very specific, the more other people sort of say "Hey, what's this over here?"

And want to come see it and want to come be a part of it.

- [Off Screen Female] Mondohomo was really important to me because I really wanted to bring things to the south that I had seen and was moved and motivated by.

I partly wanted Mondohomo to be kind of this like flagpole of like, come on, everybody come outta your holes and corners, and homes, and neighborhoods, and suburbs or wherever you're hiding and let's do something together.

- [Off Screen Male] Yeah, I think that we started it in 2007 and that was after I'd met Kiki and Ria and kind of been hanging out for a while and they sent out she sent me some text or email and was like we want to throw something called Mondohomo.

I was like those were the two best words I've ever heard together.

- [Off Screen Male] Anytime a check came in from a local sponsor who wanted to support a little queer festival, beam, you know.

And we really had to do it sort of down and dirty south style which was just put people in people's homes.

- Kiki, who was telling me all about Mondohomo and I was like, like someday, someday I'm going to Atlanta and play Mondohomo.

(crowd cheering) And so here I am.

Now you have to understand ladies and gentlemen these are a bunch of anti-capitalist, anti-globalization DIY freaks, faggots, and anarchists that are putting all this stuff in there.

- [Off Screen Male] Mondohomo, dirty self.

One of the most exciting experiences of my life.

- Here it feels more like people are doing these performance things because they are fucking motivated to do it because they love it, they want to do it.

They know how important it is.

♪ A man came in and took away the cow.

♪ ♪ Down to three chickens and one skinny sow.

♪ - In my 10 years here now being very much involved in Atlanta in the Atlanta queer community in the Atlanta arts community, you know I have seen a loyalty that I've never seen anywhere else.

- Why does anyone pack up $5,000 worth of equipment and drive 120 miles to get $20 to play a show?

You know, you, it's hard to put a price on passion - [Off Screen Female] Here, when someone says they're gonna show up at your show they're gonna show up at your show.

- Takes a lot of work to swing that shit around.

It's true, and I don't see anybody out there swinging.

- [Off Screen Male] There's messaging involved when you're on the stage and there's messaging when you're an artist and you're a queer artist, you're a queer rapper.

- Hit me DJ Soul.

Okay, I need you all to gather round I need to feel the energy in this building.

(indistinct) Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My bitches here with me tonight, and we gonna keep this party moving on.

- [Off Screen Male] To get to the finish line and just have it turn into we didn't know that it was gonna be successful.

You know, we had no idea.

But then when it turned into what it turned into, you know that sort of answers the question as to why we do it in a strange way.

Because we get to have these moments.

♪ No time for celebrating ♪ ♪ Just look at what we facing ♪ ♪ (indistinct rap music) ♪ ♪ I spit like it was nothing ♪ ♪ You living with your mother ♪ ♪ If not it's self destruction.

♪ - [Off Screen Male] I am just like all of these queer people I was seeing all of a sudden.

You know what I mean?

I am a dyke, I am a fag.

I'm that in so many more ways than I will ever be you know, a white, upwardly mobile gay man with a perfect haircut and a perfect set of teeth in the perfect outfit.

You know what I mean?

I'll never ever be that in my life.

- Really, honestly and truly.

I think that every aspect of the GLBT community has a little bit of trans in them because trans just means to change, you know.

If you take the first part of the word, it just means to change, you know and all of us represent some form of change.

- [Off Screen Male] Now, back in the sixties I was what they considered a screaming queen.

- I am Coochie Coochie Coo and I'm gonna be your fem fee for destruction tonight.

There might be some performances by the one, the only the legendary trans activist that gave me all the power to being the person I am right now.

(dramatic inhale) Jane God darn Kelly.

(crowd cheering) I am pissing my (indistinct) right now as we speak as I take this picture with this big black microphone phallus in my face.

- Honey, I dunno this word, I don't.

I never had to come out.

I was born out.

Yeah honey.

I came out, I mean I was always out.

To take a walk with little ole me.

We didn't even know the meaning of words like, well transgender didn't even exist and we barely had ever heard the word transsexual.

And so everything was under that umbrella.

We didn't have all the little divisions we have now.

It made life a little more simpler sometimes I think when people are trying to classify themselves too much or they're trying to put everyone in little brackets and all and they're trying to make it more simple for people to understand.

But I think they unknowingly sometimes make it more complicated, but that's just my opinion.

(electric guitar playing) - I think I said fuck off.

(crowd cheering) Did y'all hear me say fuck off?

(crowd cheers) I think I said it plain and clear (crowd talking and cheering) We gonna do who we wanna do, and we're gonna settle down with who we want to settle down.

It don't matter.

If you're black or you're white.

It don't matter.

If you're gay, straight, lesbian, bi, and trans, and every God darn thing in the middle of that.

Everybody has a right to love.

(crowd cheers) - [Off Screen Male] Gender is not, gender isn't as rigid as, gender's not rigid.

I've never stopped being gay and I'll never stop being trans.

I've never stopped being any of that because I have elements of all of it in there.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being both or being neither to me, that's more individual than choosing to be this or that.

Why should we choose to be this or that?

Why should we choose, have to choose?

Why should we be made to choose that we have to be a woman, or made to choose to be a man?

Why can't we choose all the different things in between?

Why can't we be, be none, or both?

Why can't we just bounce back and forth like a ping pong battle?

- [Off Screen Male] Exactly.

- It makes more sense to me.

This rigidity.

This rigidity being really rigid about gender and sexuality.

That's what gets us into so much trouble.

You know, you have to realize that it is fluid and it moves.

It moves girl, it moves around.

It moves around.

(crowd cheering) - I love her so much.

Give it again for Jane Kelly.

(crowd cheering over announcer) (crowd cheering over announcer) - I'm identifying as trans.

That don't mean I have to then succumb to all of this stuff that had pre-written scripts on what trans identities look like.

I don't have to ascribe to this rigid trans walk that step one step two, step three, no.

And so then it's coming out, like I said coming out as gay and then coming out as trans.

And I think the coming out as trans part is harder.

I hate to play oppression Olympics but I think the world is much more LGB Cool.

I get it.

But the T-part?

Oh bitch, they not ready.

They not ready to talk about gender.

They barely want to talk about sexuality.

- Look at the rural south or any part of the rural, rural areas across the country.

I'm not into bashing the South cuz I grew up here.

I'm Southern.

A lot of queers are southern and the South like queer in the South.

The South has a lot of queerness just inherently in my opinion.

But you know, queer people are not that welcome or that visible everywhere.

- It's harder.

It takes a lot more guts.

It takes a lot more I don't give a fuck about society.

It takes a lot more backbone to be the crazy ass person that you are here.

But when you are god damn you sure are and you're sticking up for everybody else.

- Gay bars would sometimes not want black people to come in.

So they would demand more pieces of identification than they did for us.

Sometimes I didn't have to give any at all.

And so some of us protested that and wouldn't go to those bars.

But that was another fight even, you know it's hard to believe.

And I had to represent everybody.

I couldn't just represent lesbians, not nor did I want to.

- Facts.

We do see more queer folk on TV.

I'm not gonna sit here and say that it's it we don't.

But I don't, I don't.

I see a particular queer person on TV.

- People are on TV, and like people, it's real.

Like this is a real thing and it's not the stone age and some shit's still very scary.

But you know, the gays have it pretty easy right now with what's happening in terms of like racism in this country.

- The cool part is it's performance is gonna be less and is less about I'm here, I'm queer and it's more about I'm here, and I'm queer and I really give a shit about racism.

- Because it's not a parent.

Oh let's have a conversation, da da da da.

It's not a guidance counselor, it's not even a peer.

It is a piece of art that is non-verbally telling you giving you messages.

That's why we need art.

That's why we need performance art.

It gives you permission to fuck with everything.

Maybe you hate trans women cuz you hear it and you sit in the audience and you see an amazing play that then makes you be like one little thought maybe.

Maybe it's just okay, maybe it's not that bad.

Maybe you sitting in the audience like that's me.

And it's giving you permission to one day instead of being the man who's murdering because he hates his self.

You're the man who's like, girl yeah I'm gonna wear my tutu.

What if that one place shifted someone's mind?

Like that's how interpersonal change happens all the time.

- But again, you get fooled so many times by society and if you don't see someone like you already doing it, you don't know.

Well now maybe when people see me it'll help some of them.

(crowd cheering) - Yeah, you brother called me a bitch.

Cause today is only Thursday.

I was gonna dress just a little gay tonight.

So, I hope this is enough.

Is this enough?

- [Crowd] Yeah.

- [Crowd Member] Fuck you.

- Hate talking just a little girl.

Just a little.

- The only way you can't tell that I'm gay is if something is wrong with you.

As soon as you still go, you see me go across that stage you gonna be, no, I'm gay as hell.

(laughs) And I'm proud of it.

It's a part of me and it's a beautiful part of me.

- Hey, oh come on.

Oh you wanna come feel me while I put on my makeup?

How convenient.

Come on in.

- [Off Screen Male] To make people laugh.

- Let put on little.

I always listen to the (indistinct).

- That's pretty cool.

That's pretty powerful.

- Now close that door.

(laughs) Okay.

- Part of why I even started doing the the comedy shows hosting the comedy shows, is that I just wanted to be in a place, be able to be me and feel safe.

And I wanted people that supported me to feel safe to come and hear me.

Here I am this black woman with the white woman's name and I have a gay man's haircut.

I have these broad shoulders.

Nice set of boobs if I can say so myself but I'm rocking a pair of man jeans, and some sneakers.

What am I gonna say?

- Sherry, have you been with the woman before, have you?

You interested?

You're not, you been drinking tonight.

Keep drinking hon.

It's gonna happen.

(laughing) Now I'm not into this like turning straight people out but I'm just gonna ask you a couple questions.

Nothing.

No, don't worry about it.

Do you have a 401k?

Do you have a 401k?

You do?

Somebody get Sherry a cocktail.

(crowd laughing) I got some bills to pay.

Fuck that shit.

(laughing) - Shit.

That's what I want, I want a woman with some fucking money that has 401k plan so we can take trips and shit together.

Stressed out, leave my job and shit.

So... (laughs) - [Off Screen Male] That's what I really enjoy about it.

It's like I get to get up and kind of talk about the gay experience and the majority of the audiences I get in front of are straight.

So I get to get up and be an out gay man who doesn't look like Will or Grace or whoever the they think gay people look like and you know, knock that stereotype out of the park right away and then do material that is just about life and living.

Just enjoying myself.

And then from the driver side, pain locked the window.

(crowd laughing) Thirteen years of marriage.

So I said to him, I said, "Husband, why hast thou lockest thou window?"

Because I talk in Shakespearean to him all the time.

And he said, well he didn't say it in Shakespearean because he thinks that's stupid but he said, "You're wasting the up and down in the window."

That's when I realized that there are two kinds of people in this world, people like me who believe in sunshine.

And unicorns and miracles and the fact that there's enough up and down in that window to last forever.

And the asshole that I married.

But it was the power, it was the like immediate response.

So you create something, you take it out and you say I'm gonna say X and you're going to laugh and you say X and they laugh and it is a power exchange.

- This white lesbian that like got the wrong sperm and had this mixed race baby and now she's freaking out about it.

(crowd murmurs) - And I feel like.

- [Crowd Member] She got her baby.

- She had her baby and now she's like mad that she has to take it to like a black barber.

(crowd laughs) And I feel like the story's crazy because I mean maybe I'm naive, but when I think of racists like lesbians is not the first group that jumps to my head.

And I feel like it's kind of amazing.

Like it's 2014, way to go.

Like lesbians, you can be anything you want.

You can even be a racist.

(crowd laughs) Which is great because that opens a lot of doors for lesbians.

Like lesbians can be cops now.

(crowed awes) Lesbians can, lesbians can own their own NBA team.

(crowd laughs) Congrats, lesbians.

Like, way to go.

Happy pride.

(laughing) - I used to, you know, like with your friends, like I'm kinda lazy, I'll do the laundry and I won't put, you know, sheets on the bed.

I can sleep on plastic.

And I'd be like it's cozy.

I just have a blanket.

And she'd come over and I'd be like, oh ladies I gotta fix it up.

When you're not single, when you're single you can just be like you get pass out and be like drink with your friends.

Woo.

Playing video games, woo.

Till you're just like you wake up with Cheetos on your shirt and you just shit doesn't matter because you're like I'm single, gah.

Woo, hanging out in my boxers.

(audience laughing) But now, you know, I have to, you know, I wear boxers, but now I don't have Cheetos on myself.

Thank God for my girlfriend.

There's no Cheetos on my body.

I have sheets on my bed.

Life is good.

I can't complain.

- [Woman] It's just so much easier to communicate and to bridge gaps between groups of people and society when you're creating something, that's pretty awesome.

Like you've gotta respect that.

I think that we have so much ground to cover and I think that it's so much easier to do with an art as opposed to sitting down and having a conversation to someone who can't hear you.

But if they can see you, feel you or hear you, just one of those three I'll take, but if they can do all three, that's like, that's magic.

That's truly like living a purpose.

(shutter clicks) - [Woman ] I absolutely love still photographs.

Photographing and capturing someone in the moment and getting that perfect face expression or movement of the lighting.

And it does give a person absolutely a legendary moment.

- [Woman ] A photo has always been a sidekick, right?

I mean the art is individual.

Clearly I'm the one focusing the camera and snapping at certain times.

So I am kind of capturing certain aspects of people, whether they know I'm doing it or not.

- [Woman] What kept me going was knowing this was an important thing to document, knowing that the people on stage did appreciate the photographs, knowing that I felt like I was on the right side of history just trying to help document and figure out and encourage.

- What I find most interesting is creating a fantasy.

And what is something that being a drag queen is all about is to create a memory of something that isn't necessarily real, but it creates a lasting impression on someone.

My goal as an organizer of Legendary Children is to give queer artists a platform to showcase their work and to give a voice to people that don't always have a place to show that when we kind of have to take control about ourselves and make shit happen.

(camera shutter click) - [Participant] And so this is my way of being visible and being vocal, being a spectacle, being loud and glittery and obnoxious and being way too much and being in the public eye and not attracting the gaze, but demanding it.

I'm all of these things that are not valued in the society at all, you know?

And I can think about that in terms of being oppressed or being marginalized, but I prefer to think of it as an opportunity to take up some space and represent for all of those communities.

That's how we identify ourselves.

That's how we do us, and that's how I'm doing me.

- Hold on, these eyebrows are slightly uneven.

Fuck.

Queer Moxie is just this essence of the queer community that can't be explained.

The Shawa de Vie.

The Je ne sais quoi.

You know, those who came before us cleared the way and now whoever's a drag queen or a performer or an entertainer, it's their duty to advance the conversation.

- You know, I was in Stonewall, right?

And I said honey, if you owning new guys, I said if it wasn't for us doing all this stuff and getting things thrown at us and getting chased over the state line like I was- - We have a language given to us by people who put their life on the line.

- I'd say I'm quite proud of being often called a trailblazer.

It doesn't matter what y'all as long as you look back.

- My life and my life with these people, you know things that I, that we did when we were young like we definitely, we opened doors and we made things happen.

And like other people open doors for me, that's really important to me.

And that's what the queer community, that's what we have.

We can perform, we can do things, we can put ourselves in front of other people and we can show people that like, hey like this is like, this is a space that we can take up.

- If that's something that queerness really brings to the table for anyone is the fact that you have a world of possibilities at your fingertips and you have only to explore it, to find it.

- If we do tap back into our true grit as daring people in this earth who dare to be ourselves and do it our own way with the world now watching, you just don't know where that would end up and who it would touch.

- To me that's where the fun is.

The fun is on the boundaries, and that's the exciting stuff and that's the stuff that changes things and that's the richest stuff.

- That is political.

It is political because it is creating that space, that cultural space and that social space eventually as has happened with lesbian and gay people, we're just like you know, people are all over us now, you know?

- And whether they know it or not they're representing for everybody.

This is not what you planned to do.

You wanted to go dance.

You wanted to get out there and do your thing, but guess what, you represent every last one of us.

- You know I can almost start crying when I say this, but I love those people.

I love them.

You know what they do, it's so important.

I am starting to cry.

But it is so important what they're doing.

It's important to them, it's important to me.

It's important to the U.S. whether we know it or not.

And I haven't quite given up hope.

We have made some good changes and what they're doing is so courageous, whether they think it is or not, it is courageous.

(traffic noise) - Be the best you can be.

Be real.

Don't just get into drag for the hell of it getting in drag and do something that doesn't mean anything.

Make it mean something.

Seriously.

- It's like a symphony going on.

You know?

What makes up a symphony?

There's high pitched notes, there's medium notes, there's low and dark notes.

And I like to say that I'm probably the low dark notes.

I'm probably the raspy notes, kind of like my voice, or dark like my skin, you know?

But all of it is necessary.

I'm still necessary.

You can't have a symphony without me.

(gentle music) ♪ These friends of mine ♪ ♪ With me all the time ♪ ♪ Feeling sad or feeling fine ♪ ♪ When it rains or if it shines ♪ ♪ These friends are mine.

♪ ♪ They're even with me when they're gone.

♪ - [Participant] Years ago I told my grandmother what I did.

I decided I was gonna go home and I took lots of pictures of me in drag and mother said, my mother said, why don't you go ahead and get out those pictures of you in drag and show 'em to mama.

So that's my grandmother.

So I showed her, I said this is what I do for a living.

This is the way I dress when I work.

And it was probably seven or eight different photographs of me in different outfits and stuff and different hair.

And she just sat and looked through 'em and she went my, she says you're prettier than any of the girl cousins.

As she was looking and I told her, I says you know that's what I do to entertain people.

And she said, do people like that?

And I said yes.

I said it's one of the best things I've ever experienced.

And she told me something that hit me in a way that I don't think I've ever been touched before.

And she says I don't understand this, but she said you're doing God's work.

And she said if you can go on stage and you can capture somebody's attention and keep their attention for five minutes to keep their mind off of their bills and off of their hard life, keep their mind off their work, and totally make them escape out of their life and into your life for five minutes, she said you're doing God's work.

And I never thought about it that way, but you know it makes sense to me cuz you don't know how much influence you have over somebody until you see the look in their eyes when you're performing for them.

And you can tell in their eyes that they're not thinking about anything else.

They are totally in your world and their life is somewhere else.

You've got them for five minutes.

And she said it perfect.

♪ I'm the singer around.

♪ ♪ I don't need no other sound.

♪ - So I think that's it.

I appreciate you folks coming in to listen to my story.

Okay, thank you very much.

(audience clapping) (upbeat music) - My name is Leo Hollen Jr. and our film is, Queer Moxie.

- Queer Moxie is about queer performance artists taking up space and inspiring people to feel fabulous and do many things.

It's an evolution of queer performance art in Atlanta.

Could best summarize it as a love letter to Atlanta performance art.

It celebrates drag kings, drag queens, queer burlesque performers, both artists, comedians, those who have in the past came to queer the stage and made way for the new generation that now takes it to the next level and takes it to a political space that wasn't necessarily there before.

I felt growing up that every story about any member of a marginalized community was always about overcoming adversity and strife and challenges and proving that there was a value to these groups that were on the margins.

And I wanted to show that people thought they were fabulous.

They did not think they were terrible, they did not think they needed to prove themselves to anyone.

And we wanted to shift to stories of abundance and celebration.

In Queer Moxie, like any other story, is a snapshot, right?

I came to Atlanta from Vermont in the early two thousands.

I was trying to take pictures of friends and a girlfriend and artists and things that I love.

And as I said, I hit record, realized oh I enjoy watching this, so do others.

And then kind of realized this ideal moment we were in where there was this shift.

And so just kept recording.

And I would think for maybe five years I just went to shows, recorded.

Fortunately in about 2012, met a phenomenal filmmaker who studied film, is an excellent editor and a great writer.

- And I'd always had this connection obviously to queer nightlife.

I helped out at a drag show my friend Robert hosted.

So we got together, talked about the idea of this film being an evolution as well as a tapestry of what is occurring here in the queer scene in Atlanta.

And just took that moment and said, let's really go here.

Let's interview some more people.

Let's really push this idea of evolution and queering the stage.

Like the first artist took the stage, these next artists are queering the stage and taking it to the next level.

- I make everything.

That's the another thing about Shauna, she's adamant about making our own things and creating our own look.

And I mean, I really like it just because if I make it, nobody else has it.

Like I'll give a new girl an outfit and be like take this home and change it.

I don't want you wearing my outfit cuz they've seen my outfit.

So I'll give 'em that and be like go home and make this your own.

And that's usually how I'll know if I like to girl or not, if they come back and it's not changed up enough I'm like this lazy and I won't be bothered with 'em.

- The main thing, not the most difficult, but one of the most challenging I guess things was trying to find a way to pull all of this footage together from like 2003- - Seven.

- 2007 to like 2015 and have it be cohesive.

- Because really we wanted with people watching this is not just to learn, but actually to go, to wanna maybe be inspired to perform, but go, be like I didn't see enough about burlesque dancers.

I wanna know more about it.

Great.

There's a burlesque troop in every city, every town that you are, queer, straight, mixed up, in between with everybody, and that was the point is not just seeing something in history or knowing it, but it's actually going on around you right now.

- I love the queer community.

It is my community and I'm so proud to be a part of it.

But learning the history of the queer Atlanta scene and all these amazing performers just, it really did change me and my viewpoint on the entire world.

I'm very happy to have taken the time to create something that will be a forever piece of what Atlanta used to be and what Atlanta is today.

- Find a show, watch a film, be a part of it because it is some of the most amazing art you will ever see.

When people step outside of the boxes, you are able to see some amazing things.

But this film is absolutely a love letter thanking these artists for changing our world and also showing me all the options of who I could be.

- Our city is remarkable.

With these films we've really seen the myriad of colors that the Atlanta queer community offers to the world.

Next week we'll wrap our Out On Film selections with some great films by Adante Watts and Cindy Abel.

I'm Jono Mitchell, this is Atlanta On Film.

I'll see you next week.

(upbeat music) (upbeat music)